NDrewRndll

It's pretty easy to see how this happened. What I can't understand is why Diane and Rachel and Mason think this will give them what they want. It would have been so much easier for them to learn to live with Ben's boundaries. Not that much would have changed anyway. But now they've forced Ben to draw a line in the sand, and if they keep pushing, if they cross it, they will lose him, emotionally and probably physically as well. Like, this is such a massive breach of trust, such a blatant, aggressive effort to control a life they have no right over. I just can't see a way that they get to keep Ben in their lives the way he's been, if at all, regardless of whether they retract the complaints or not. If I were Ben, I'd have a very hard time keeping contact with any of them after this. And Julian, he doesn't deserve this. All because they can't see him as more than a malfunctioning appliance, or a misbehaving pet at best. It's honestly so infuriating that they don't understand the sheer gravity of what they've done, of what could happen now. Brandon leaving Ben doesn't even compare to this. They're toying with a person's life, because that's what Julian is now, regardless of what they think or Halcyon says. Ben needs to make them understand that. They need to feel the weight of their actions and the damage they've done. And I'm sorry, but if that means Sophie and Grace don't get to see Ben for a while, then so be it. This isn't their fault at all, but actions have consequences, and if Rachel thinks she can use her daughters to manipulate Ben, then she needs to learn very quickly how wrong she is about that. Seriously, if I were Ben, my mind would already be made, and regardless of what happens Saturday, it would be the last time I would see these people--and I use people because that's all they are now. People. They are not family anymore.

Okay, so everything hinges on Tessa's ability to expedite the transfer and the hope that Ben's family won't meddle before it's complete. As things stand, I only see three options for Ben and Julian: they can shut out Ben's family until the process is finishee and risk one of them doing something that attracts Halcyon's attention; they can play nice with them and hope that will be enough (it probably won't be); or they can try to win them over, which right now seems like a very long shot. Yeah, it's gonna be a long few weeks. 🙃 PS. It's good to hear about you and your son. Hope things keep improving.😊

Ha! When the children act more grown up than the actual adults, you know there are issues, and none of them have to do with Ben and his relationship with Julian. That both Rachel and Mason feel entitled to an opinion, as if their judgment is simply more important than the actual feelings of the brother they've spent years taking for granted... And what's funny--or sad, really--is that poor Julian is the one actually worried about Ben. On the other hand, Ben's chosen not to dwell on any of it, and that is far more important. A week ago, he might have been ashamed, he might have apologized, not because choosing Julian then would have been a mistake, but because his siblings' entitlement would have felt more like his fault than theirs. But a single week of living with Julian has already been enough to change that. I'm sure the phone call from Diane won't be long coming. Let it come. She and her children already torpedoed one of Ben's relationships, so they should have no trouble attempting the same with this one. The difference is Ben isn't going to just let them this time. So yeah, let them do their worst. In the meantime, Ben has more important things to do, like teaching Mr. Stomps the word 'pineapple.'

Sigh. Why does it feel like I'm about to have my heart broken by you again? They're just too good together, so I already know some kind of hell is coming. 😖

I know I said I wanted cuddles,but I'll settle for a hug for Julian. 🥺 He's only nineteen days old! He shouldn't have to choose between losing Ben and losing himself! And neither should Ben! Ben should just take Julian and move to the mountains or something, away fron anything and anyone that could cause them harm. He can work from anywhere anyway, and Julian will be safe from the toxic schemes of Ben's family.

Can they cuddle now? I want cuddles!

Mmm, I think Ben and Julian could use a day just with each other. A day without calls from Diane, or Rachel, or Mason; without check-ins from Tessa, or visits from Vera, or even video conferences with Cal and Orion. Without the claims queue, or Halcyon's data reports, or malformed impressions from possessive family members. A day without pressure, that they can spend alone with each other, learning each other, from each other. It wouldn't solve everything--in fact, it probably wouldn't solve most things. But it would be a start. I dont think they're gonna get it, at least not entirely, but I think it is what they need the most right now.

Sigh. Diane's for sure going to find out Tessa's number, and when she doesn't give her what she wants, she'll just keep going until she finds someone who will. That's the problem with people like her; they can't conceive of a world where they are actually the ones in the wrong, and they'll tear anything apart in their effort to prove that they're not. And Ben knows that, so yeah, he stood up for Julian in a way he's never stood up for himself. But now he's probably afraid and resigned to the fact there's nothing he can really do to stop his mother from doing whatever she can to wreak havoc on his life with Julian. And Rachel will go along with it because she doesn't wanna lose her free daycare. The one I'm not sure about is Mason. He may side with Diane out of sheer spite; he's certainly immature enough for it. But a tiny part of me is hoping that the shame he's feeling will win out over the anger and he'll at least start taking ownership of his own life. It doesn't mean he'll go straight to liking Julian, but at the very least he'll stop treating Ben like an ATM and a free Uber and start treating him like a brother. I don't know, it's probably a long shot, but I'd like Ben to have more than just the girls and Vera on his corner. If nothing else, Mason could stop adding to Ben's troubles; I'd settle for that. But anyway, Ben and Julian are due for a conversation after they've put the girls to bed. Maybe they'll actually talk about each other now. ☺️

So, that went well, and basically how I thought it would. Now Ben has something new to worry about, though, and by extension so do we. I can already start seeing how it might play out; Julian will try to protect Ben from his family's noxious overreaches, one of them will decide he's a threat to the status quo, and an external complaint will manifest. Except they won't grasp that they're putting Julian in actual danger until the damage has already been done, and that will destroy Ben. Of course, it might not all play out like this, but enough that it will become the catalyst that causes Ben to break away from his family entirely. But, however much or little of this may come to happen, I just hope both Julian and Ben will stop dancing around the subject of their feelings for each other first. 😛

Ah, so this is the real conflict. Drift. It's an interesting name for it. So developing any emotions of his own and having responses that don't immediately follow the internal logic of serving as a glorified housemaid for Ben is treated as going off-course. That must really scary for Julian, because developing a sense of self beyond the boundaries of his function as a companion is something that clearly cannot be helped, and it's common enough that Halcyon can identify it and treat it as a glitch. And if Ben knew about it, would he treat Julian any differently? I think he would, but I don't think that would be a bad thing. Knowing Julian is more of a person than he realizes would probably help him accept his own feelings toward Julian as well. He's already most of the way there anyway, he just struggles with believing someone can care for him the way he cares for others. I think Sunday with Tessa will go well, in any case. I don't think she'll be an obstacle for Ben and Julian. She might come with some warnings of her own, though. I guess we'll see.

Isn't it funny how easy and pleasant life is for Ben when his siblings and mother aren't involved? This is how every day should be for him. But alas, I expect that with Monday there will be a phone call or a knock on his door and it'll be back to same the way things have been for four years now--or almost the same way, because Julian is here now. Can't wait to see how Monday night dinner at Diane's is going to look like. I'm sure it'll be a great time for everybody. 🫠

It hasn't even been two full days and Julian already understands more about Ben than most of his family does, and they've been there his whole life. Just thinking about it makes me upset at how comfortable they are taking him for granted, as if his time is somehow worth less than theirs. And what's worse, it took Julian less than two days to understand that. And Ben apologizes for it as though it's all his doing--and don't get me wrong, he's definitely responsible for taking his family's attitudes toward him as a given. But they still get the lion's share of the blame here for deciding this was Ben's place in their lives without considering what it would do to him, how it would diminish him. No wonder Ben behaves the way he does around Julian, too, acting like getting help from Julian is somehow burdening him when helping Ben is exactly what he's there to do. He's really convinced himself that needing anything from others the way others need things from him is a bother, and that's really sad. Julian's clearly got his work cut for him with Ben's family. His latest interaction with Rachel more of less proves that. But his biggest challenge is proving to Ben that he deserves more than he's been given. I imagine this was Brandon's position at one point, too, which might be why Ben is so scared to demand anything out ot Julian. The difference is he's not gonna quit on Ben. Now if only Ben could realize that. Sigh.

Maybe in the future Rachel can get hit by a blimp, or something equally funny, and then Ben can get custody of the girls, and he and Julian can raise them together. Wouldn't that be lovely? 😊

Julian is so wholesome. He's barely been part of Ben's life for a couple hours and already he sees him in a way that his own brother doesn't even want to. I get that this may be a consequence of grief, but Ben doesn't deserve that, and from what little there is about Julian's so far, he seems to agree with me. I have a feeling this is all gonna change rather quickly once Julian starts developing a proper personality. Ben needs to be more assertive, Julian might be the one to teach him how.

lmao, he already knows. I love it. I wonder what Mason's gonna do when he sees him. I have a feeling he's not gonna be happy about Julian tagging along on this carpool!

My little doormat MC, you are so adorable. I bet Julian's gonna be like a curious, innocent child at first, wondering why his older sister and younger brother are so mean to Ben and why his mom won't do anything about it. But then he's gonna start growing, and he's gonna know. And then they're gonna learn. He's gonna go all "M3GAN" on their asses and Ben's just gonna let it happen 'cause he knows it's the right thing after years of quiet abuse and disregard! ... Or something like that!

I don't wanna say mean things about Ben's family since we're only two chapters in, but... Thank God for Vera, and how in the world is Rachel Sophie's mother?😮‍💨

One whole chapter in and I'm ready to hug this guy. 😢 Lonely dude that his family takes for granted is a tale I'm familiar with. Met my fair share of people like that, so I hope he won't he lonely for long.

Someday, somehow, I'm gonna get a sequel out of you. Who's sequel, I have no idea. But it will happen, mark my words! 😤

That was... emotional. You know, two of out of three--or more like one an half out of three if we're being completely honest--is more people than I was expecting Owen to still count as part of his life when he walked out of that house. But none of that made it any easier, for him, or for his family. And I know some of you might be thinking, "the hell's on about? Why does he care about his family?" And, well... regardless of what happened here today, whether they're still present in his life or not, everybody in that house will always be part of Owen in some way, so he will always care no matter what, and that makes me care as well. Eric broke my heart. I could really tell how much he wanted to do this with Owen, and having to come to terms with the reality that his dream is only his and not theirs must have felt like having the wind knocked out of him. But that only changes his plans, not his place in Owen's life, so I think he'll be okay. Now, when it comes to Owen's parents, though, well, that a quite a bit more complicated. I can only imagjne what Suzanne Donnelly must be thinking. She must be having a lot of thoughts about her choice to sign Owen up for VBS, regret chief among them. But I think that's the wrong way to think about it. I think that with some time and effort on her part, she'll come to see that what she did was the best thing she could have done for her son. Whether she meant to or not, she helped him find purpose and happiness, so I believe that eventually she'll come to see things that way, and that should help repair her relationship with Owen. As for Owen's dad, though... I don't know. Thomas Donnelly is in need of some serious soul searching. It's going to be very hard for him to accept that the future he planned, the legacy he had envisioned for his son, is dead and gone. But if he wants any kind of future with Owen, he has to. And he has to learn to see him as his son and not his chief investment. Right now it might be too much to ask... but in time, maybe. Now, you owe us one more chapter... You did say 33, buuuut, that doesn't include an epìlogue, so I'm expecting one, which makes sense, right? Right? 👀

Ryder turning up late, grease-stained and windblown to the wedding reception, and going straight to Owen to hold his hand is the most Ryder thing he's done this entire story and I'm so happy it happened I laughed just like Owen did when he heard why. Gotta give credit to Margot for being brave enough to go through with coming out without Owen--and yes, Jules was still there, so that made it infinitely easier, but she still did it for both of them, which was good 'cause a full-on panicked Owen wouldn't have been able to handle it. And now that the bomb has dropped, we wait to see what the explosion looks like. 🙃

Whew. I felt all the tension drain out of me as I read this chapter. For one so relatively uneventful that it's mostly packed with snippets of phone conversations and quick accounts of passing days, it did a good job of illustrating just how much it matters that Owen's made a choice, and how little it does that his parents might not accept it. This is easily the most adult he's ever felt to me since I started reading this story, which is perfect because after last chapter was dreading that Owen's parents would take away all his freedom, but you can't really do that to a grown man. And sure, Owen's not quite there yet, but he's close enough that these two passing weeks feel like his choice and not his parents'. I still don't know for sure how this is gonna play out at the wedding, but it almost feels like ultimately the consequences don't matter because Owen has already decided how his life will go after Saturday, so it's really more about what his family is going to do with that. But whatever happens, Owen's still leaving that reception as himself, and not the version of him that his parents and Eric and the people of Zanesville think is him. That in itself feels like a massive victory already.

As I was finishing this chapter, all I could think was: "Owen, run! Run! Run Run! Run!" Fuck the plans. Fuck waiting 'till Paige's wedding. Fuck trying to find the right time because there will never be a right time. Just grab your phone and your keys, and rush downstairs and through the front door before they have a chance to stop you. Before they have a chance to trap you. I don't know what he's gonna wake up to exactly, but I know it won't be a house. It'll be a cage. And he might wish he had actually left when he could have and listened to Ryder when he was telling him to get out, not because his patience was wearing thin, but because he knew what could happen. What is now going to happen. I really wish he'd at least texted Ryder before going to bed, tell him what just went down, because I think he would immediately understand what's about to occur and wouldn't waste time being angry at Owen anymore. Instead he'd get on his motorcycle and speed down to Zanesville to get Owen out before it's too late. Maybe I'm overreacting, and honestly I hope I am, but I'm really scared for Owen now. I feel the walls closing in and I don't know what he's gonna wake up to, what they'll have taken away from him while he lay in bed not-sleeping. Because while he's not-sleeping they're making decisions, and each of them will be a new shackle to hold him down. And then it might be too late.

That hilltop afternoon hike felt very Heartstopper-coded. Not a bad thing, btw! I'm just saying. That said, that wedding reception's probably gonna be a shit-show. That said, I couldn't care less. I'm here for it, because I'm here for the drama, like I'm here for everything in every single one of your stories, good or bad. I live for it all. And because whatever Ryder says, as far as I'm concerned he'll be suited up for Owen like I want him to be, and Owen's gonna lose his ability to speak when he sees him, and that's all I want. And because no matter what, I know Owen and Ryder are gonna be walking out of that wedding reception together as a couple, out to the world. And to be completely honest (and I know this is gonna sound lowkey insensitive and harsh), because it doesn't matter to me what happens with this wedding reception. Both Owen and Margot, and by extension Ryder and Jules, have had to live with this lie long enough, and if this is the venue they've chosen to break free of it, so be it. No straight person has any idea of what living in the closet does to you; how exhausting and demanding and terrifying it is to live in a prison shaped like your entire world. Those of us who've made it out are the lucky ones. Many people never do. So if Margot's sister feels their choice to finally leave that prison ruins her moment, that's her problem.

Oh, he's Ryder's brother, all right. The same smile, the same playfully sharp attitude, the same quietly restless energy. But where time and circumstance have pushed Ryder into a near constant state of alert where he's always ready to go to battle, Colin's managed to stay upbeat and almost childishly hopeful. Ryder may have closed the door on his parents five years ago, but his brother believes it can be reopened. You might say he just doesn't know better, but Colin's childish hope might just be what Ryder needs to finally allow himself to breathe after half a decade of fighting his way through life. Even if things don't play the way he hopes they will, at the very least, Colin might help Ryder get closure with his family so he can then try to find some measure of happiness with Owen. And speaking of Owen, I'm so glad he's no longer lost. He has a plan now. A goal. A vision of the future that he believes in. Now he just needs to find a way to tell his family that it's one they can believe in, too. Whether they can accept that is up to them. All he can do is give them the chance to. I'm not gonna lie, though, them using a wedding as the stage for their coming out is a bit of a reckless move, but y'kno, that's part of the drama of it all, and it just wouldn't be a @mastershakeme story without it. 😛 Guess we'll just have to wait and see how the war meeting at the Blue Plate plays out.