NDrewRndll

Ha! When the children act more grown up than the actual adults, you know there are issues, and none of them have to do with Ben and his relationship with Julian. That both Rachel and Mason feel entitled to an opinion, as if their judgment is simply more important than the actual feelings of the brother they've spent years taking for granted... And what's funny--or sad, really--is that poor Julian is the one actually worried about Ben. On the other hand, Ben's chosen not to dwell on any of it, and that is far more important. A week ago, he might have been ashamed, he might have apologized, not because choosing Julian then would have been a mistake, but because his siblings' entitlement would have felt more like his fault than theirs. But a single week of living with Julian has already been enough to change that. I'm sure the phone call from Diane won't be long coming. Let it come. She and her children already torpedoed one of Ben's relationships, so they should have no trouble attempting the same with this one. The difference is Ben isn't going to just let them this time. So yeah, let them do their worst. In the meantime, Ben has more important things to do, like teaching Mr. Stomps the word 'pineapple.'

Sigh. Why does it feel like I'm about to have my heart broken by you again? They're just too good together, so I already know some kind of hell is coming. 😖

I know I said I wanted cuddles,but I'll settle for a hug for Julian. 🥺 He's only nineteen days old! He shouldn't have to choose between losing Ben and losing himself! And neither should Ben! Ben should just take Julian and move to the mountains or something, away fron anything and anyone that could cause them harm. He can work from anywhere anyway, and Julian will be safe from the toxic schemes of Ben's family.

Can they cuddle now? I want cuddles!

Mmm, I think Ben and Julian could use a day just with each other. A day without calls from Diane, or Rachel, or Mason; without check-ins from Tessa, or visits from Vera, or even video conferences with Cal and Orion. Without the claims queue, or Halcyon's data reports, or malformed impressions from possessive family members. A day without pressure, that they can spend alone with each other, learning each other, from each other. It wouldn't solve everything--in fact, it probably wouldn't solve most things. But it would be a start. I dont think they're gonna get it, at least not entirely, but I think it is what they need the most right now.

Sigh. Diane's for sure going to find out Tessa's number, and when she doesn't give her what she wants, she'll just keep going until she finds someone who will. That's the problem with people like her; they can't conceive of a world where they are actually the ones in the wrong, and they'll tear anything apart in their effort to prove that they're not. And Ben knows that, so yeah, he stood up for Julian in a way he's never stood up for himself. But now he's probably afraid and resigned to the fact there's nothing he can really do to stop his mother from doing whatever she can to wreak havoc on his life with Julian. And Rachel will go along with it because she doesn't wanna lose her free daycare. The one I'm not sure about is Mason. He may side with Diane out of sheer spite; he's certainly immature enough for it. But a tiny part of me is hoping that the shame he's feeling will win out over the anger and he'll at least start taking ownership of his own life. It doesn't mean he'll go straight to liking Julian, but at the very least he'll stop treating Ben like an ATM and a free Uber and start treating him like a brother. I don't know, it's probably a long shot, but I'd like Ben to have more than just the girls and Vera on his corner. If nothing else, Mason could stop adding to Ben's troubles; I'd settle for that. But anyway, Ben and Julian are due for a conversation after they've put the girls to bed. Maybe they'll actually talk about each other now. ☺️

So, that went well, and basically how I thought it would. Now Ben has something new to worry about, though, and by extension so do we. I can already start seeing how it might play out; Julian will try to protect Ben from his family's noxious overreaches, one of them will decide he's a threat to the status quo, and an external complaint will manifest. Except they won't grasp that they're putting Julian in actual danger until the damage has already been done, and that will destroy Ben. Of course, it might not all play out like this, but enough that it will become the catalyst that causes Ben to break away from his family entirely. But, however much or little of this may come to happen, I just hope both Julian and Ben will stop dancing around the subject of their feelings for each other first. 😛

Ah, so this is the real conflict. Drift. It's an interesting name for it. So developing any emotions of his own and having responses that don't immediately follow the internal logic of serving as a glorified housemaid for Ben is treated as going off-course. That must really scary for Julian, because developing a sense of self beyond the boundaries of his function as a companion is something that clearly cannot be helped, and it's common enough that Halcyon can identify it and treat it as a glitch. And if Ben knew about it, would he treat Julian any differently? I think he would, but I don't think that would be a bad thing. Knowing Julian is more of a person than he realizes would probably help him accept his own feelings toward Julian as well. He's already most of the way there anyway, he just struggles with believing someone can care for him the way he cares for others. I think Sunday with Tessa will go well, in any case. I don't think she'll be an obstacle for Ben and Julian. She might come with some warnings of her own, though. I guess we'll see.

Isn't it funny how easy and pleasant life is for Ben when his siblings and mother aren't involved? This is how every day should be for him. But alas, I expect that with Monday there will be a phone call or a knock on his door and it'll be back to same the way things have been for four years now--or almost the same way, because Julian is here now. Can't wait to see how Monday night dinner at Diane's is going to look like. I'm sure it'll be a great time for everybody. 🫠

It hasn't even been two full days and Julian already understands more about Ben than most of his family does, and they've been there his whole life. Just thinking about it makes me upset at how comfortable they are taking him for granted, as if his time is somehow worth less than theirs. And what's worse, it took Julian less than two days to understand that. And Ben apologizes for it as though it's all his doing--and don't get me wrong, he's definitely responsible for taking his family's attitudes toward him as a given. But they still get the lion's share of the blame here for deciding this was Ben's place in their lives without considering what it would do to him, how it would diminish him. No wonder Ben behaves the way he does around Julian, too, acting like getting help from Julian is somehow burdening him when helping Ben is exactly what he's there to do. He's really convinced himself that needing anything from others the way others need things from him is a bother, and that's really sad. Julian's clearly got his work cut for him with Ben's family. His latest interaction with Rachel more of less proves that. But his biggest challenge is proving to Ben that he deserves more than he's been given. I imagine this was Brandon's position at one point, too, which might be why Ben is so scared to demand anything out ot Julian. The difference is he's not gonna quit on Ben. Now if only Ben could realize that. Sigh.

Maybe in the future Rachel can get hit by a blimp, or something equally funny, and then Ben can get custody of the girls, and he and Julian can raise them together. Wouldn't that be lovely? 😊

Julian is so wholesome. He's barely been part of Ben's life for a couple hours and already he sees him in a way that his own brother doesn't even want to. I get that this may be a consequence of grief, but Ben doesn't deserve that, and from what little there is about Julian's so far, he seems to agree with me. I have a feeling this is all gonna change rather quickly once Julian starts developing a proper personality. Ben needs to be more assertive, Julian might be the one to teach him how.

lmao, he already knows. I love it. I wonder what Mason's gonna do when he sees him. I have a feeling he's not gonna be happy about Julian tagging along on this carpool!

My little doormat MC, you are so adorable. I bet Julian's gonna be like a curious, innocent child at first, wondering why his older sister and younger brother are so mean to Ben and why his mom won't do anything about it. But then he's gonna start growing, and he's gonna know. And then they're gonna learn. He's gonna go all "M3GAN" on their asses and Ben's just gonna let it happen 'cause he knows it's the right thing after years of quiet abuse and disregard! ... Or something like that!

I don't wanna say mean things about Ben's family since we're only two chapters in, but... Thank God for Vera, and how in the world is Rachel Sophie's mother?😮‍💨