Kiom

Ah, Mikiesboy, do you always muddle your opinions along with the brilliance of Eliot? And then do you add the ice next, or the bourbon? Today a friend wrote, "Being best is best, but good enough is better." It cracked me up. But my brother wanted to understand it. I had to leave him in the lurch, scratching his head, telling him that understanding it was exactly not the point. But bless him, he'll be back for more. And thanks to all for the expressions of appreciation for my comment.

It's hard to say anything, anything at all, but the things that can never be said, those to poetry may fall. If you could tell us what the poem is about, you would have done so, without the poem. The poem gingers around the ineffable, reaching for threads and wisps too frail for our sequential, cause & effect, on & off, up & down mental landscapes to grasp or hold on to. And that's a damn good reason not to write the stuff! Just too effin hard. .

Thank you. I've never published a story before. If you'd like to tell me why you liked it that would be much appreciated. Also, would you mind saying if you had any difficulty with the dialogue. I ask because I chose not to use quotes; some have suggested that without them a story might be harder to read. Thanks again.

A clean-cut Mormon just passing through town, a ravishing brunette who flirts dangerously with passion, and a male model/pool shark, all find their lives unravel in the concussion of their chance encounter.

Johnny throws his leg over a barstool and sits. Next to him a stunningly beautiful brunette moves minutely, as if giving him more space, or just adjusting to his presence. He smiles a thanks slightly in her direction and asks the attentive bartender for an iced tea with lemon, no sugar, and an Irish Whiskey, neat, on the side. Get you something, he asks, speaking towards the brunette. No, I’ve already got something, she replies. He shrugs and w

I enjoyed the 3 chapters I read, but there were things that didn't work. I understand you needed him to fall off the boat and be abandoned there and be assumed dead. But there is no motive for not reporting it nor for the abandonment, and especially none for trying to say he had never gotten on the boat in the first place. Hardened criminals do that sort of thing, but he does not present as a guy who is running with hardened criminals. There is no plot development to support this sort of sociopathic behavior, so it's difficult to swallow. I once read that nothing in a story can be there without a purpose, as in, if a gun is on the table, then the gun somehow figures into the plot, etc. So what was all the fuss about Eric keeping a low profile? There were so many paragraphs of explanation about how he had arranged everything so the papparazzi or whatever didn't connect the dots in his life. Why? Who cares? How does it fit? What is that gun going to be used for? Did I need to read the next two chapters to understand this sidebar? If so, there was no device to lead me there. Meanwhile, juxtaposed to that tangent, is that the guy owns 1/3 of a Hawaiian island, and, to keep it all on the DL, has a small manse there on a modest 10 or so acres overlooking the Pacific. Really? Who owns 1/3 of a chunk of the world's most desirable real estate and gets to move about like an unknown hobo? Finally, I have to wonder what the story is about. If it is about a guy who falls off a boat and is assumed dead but gets found by Prince Charming and has to deal with being abandoned by his friends, it needs a lot more than his tears than a lawsuit that happens off-screen. If it's about how his near death experience ends in a realignment of his values and priorities, then going off to live in the Prince's chateau in Hawaii is insufficient as it's all external. It doesn't examine the epiphany that helps him turn his life around. So, though it was a nice fluffy story about a sweet and teary boy, I stopped reading. There wasn't enough stuffing for me. I hope you find these comments useful. And I am envious that you were somehow able to figure out how to post a story here; I am utterly unable to make sense of the instructions. I even sent messages to the owners/staff, but have never heard back. Best, Kiom