TheZot

Joe's also been very driven. He grew up lower class and he wanted out in the worst way. That drive got him out (he's doing quite well -- I tried to make the contrast between Joe as he was now with his family when they showed up) but he paid a price for the drive. Probably worth it, given where he was coming from, but there is a certain lonliness. His temper helped get him out, but it didn't help him make any good long term relationships. This is one of the places where he and Chris mesh well. Chris' background is similar to Joe's. Not the same, certainly, but they both share enough that I think it makes it more believable that they get on together. (Since there's got to be more than just enthusiastic sex to keep a couple together) They are so going to end up fighting over money and do stupid guy jockeying for position, but that's for later.

[This is longer than it actually seems, since there's a lot of missing non-dialogue. And Snuffles makes an appearance courtesy of very clever readers. Thanks guys!] When Chris got back to the station he found the place in a buzz. "What's going on?" he asked Steve. Steve gave him a cold glare. Chris flinched, but not much. He'd been beating himself up the whole drive back to the station, and there wasn't much Steve could do to make him feel any worse. "Yes, fine, I f**ked up," Chris snapped. "Thank you. What's going on?" "The kid ran the video he brought back from Joe's apartment complex. We got a few good stills off it." Steve pushed a few black and white pictures over to Chris. He picked them up and looked at them. "Damn," he said. "You recognize him?" "Yeah," Chris said. "I ran into him in the hall outside Joe's apartment. We should get a uniform over there." "Probably no point," Steve said. "He's probably gone by now." "I know, but we may get lucky. Think the kid's up to it?" "I think so. He and Petersen can go. Maybe they can get an ID on a car, if they've got cameras outside the buildings." Steve picked up the phone and started to dial. "Fine," Chris said. He pulled out his glasses and started scanning through the statement Joe had made. It was all he could do to stay professional when he read it. The statement was clear enough that he could picture what happened. He started making notes as he read through, frowning. "Have you read this?" he asked Steve after he was done. "No, why?" "Read it," he said, handing it over. He waited, tapping his pen impatiently as Steve scanned it. He was making notes as he read. "Notice anything unusual?" Chris asked. "The descriptions don't match," Steve said. "We've got video of that young guy going in and coming out. The times match up pretty well with the 911 call. Nobody old." "That's one. There were two others." "Toby called the guy grandfather," Steve said. "And?" Chris prompted. Steve read the statement again, and then a third time. "I've got nothing," he finally admitted. He hated it when Chris stumped him on these. "Joe tripped over the teddy bear." "Yeah, so? It was on the floor." "It's on my bed," Chris said. "This morning." "You got a teddy bear, Gagnon? Should have figured." Chris stiffened. "Captain," he said through gritted teeth. "This the guy that put your boyfriend in the hospital?" "He's not my godd

Thursday morning Chris was in a foul mood. He'd half-hoped that Joe would be at the house when he got home Wednesday. Maybe Joe would bitch him out the way he deserved, he could apologize, and they could work something out. The possibility of make-up sex occurred, though he wasn't sure he was ready for that, even if Joe hadn't been hurt. Joe hadn't been there, of course. Toby had cheerfully let him know that he and Aunt Mary had dropped him off at his apartment, then asked when his new Daddy was coming back. It was the closest Chris had come to snapping at Toby since the boy had been born. He'd asked again at breakfast, though Chris couldn't quite bring himself to tell him that his Daddy might not come back. Ever. That wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to. Steve was sitting at his desk when Chris got in. He was holding a baggie with the harlequin mask. There was an envelope and a DVD on the desk in front of him. "Morning, Chris," Steve said. His tone was carefully neutral. "Morning," Chris replied. He was feeling cautious. This wasn't Steve's normal behavior. "Davidson dropped off some stuff," he said, waving at the collection of things on his desk. "And it is

Actually, we've really only seen Steve's. Though I'm not sure they count, as they're in-laws. Joe doesn't have much in the way of close friends. He socializes occasionally with the people from work (though given his position and the fact that he's single, not very often) but it's mostly acquaintances and guys he used to date and has sort of stayed in touch with. He's never been all that good at keeping close friends. I'll admit, this is sort of after-the-fact rationalization, though it fits the character. Given the relatively tight timescale and the number of characters I had to juggle, I cut out Joe's social life basically for convenience reasons. (Plus he was, at the beginning of the story, still in the 'shiny new relationship' phase, so his friends would've gotten ignored a bit) Is it worth fixing that in the rewrite? I'm making notes as to what should be done, and definitely soliciting opinions.

Y'know, the thing that's missing here is regret. I really, really need to go back and emphasize that. Joe spends the day alternately moping and in pain, and very little of that pain comes from his shoulder. He was teased with everything he ever wanted but thought he could never have, and feels like it's been ripped away. He took a chance and made himself vulnerable in a way he'd never done with anyone else and he got (mostly inadvertently) sucker-punched. Now, a sane, sensible, rational person with some experience in relationships would realize that this does sometimes happen even when we don't want it to, and would try to work through the hurt. Alas, neither of the guys is all that good at this, and Joe's had a really, really bad week. The guys definitely are going to need some couples counselling once this is all through if they're going to survive to the sequel.

[Kind of a transition chapter. And setup for the future. The guys have been nudging for a vacation. It feels like a good spot for a plateau, before we race into the finish] Thursday morning Joe woke up and felt like hell. His left arm was stiff, his shoulder hurt like hell, and his whole body ached. The hotel bed had been fine as hotel beds went, but it wasn't his, and it wasn't Chris'. Not that he was going to end up in Chris' bed again. The closest he came was Snuffles. It wasn't the same. It was all he had, though. Cursing whatever part of his background that made it so he couldn't take anything useful for the pain, he walked carefully into the bathroom. That was another thing he wasn't looking forward to. He couldn't even shower for a few days. Tylenol and a damp face cloth. What a wonderful combination. He wasn't too bad off, not yet at least. Some product in his hair got it in reasonable shape, and he was limber enough that he could wash most places. He had to be careful. It wasn't tough to stretch in ways that made his shoulder twinge. Joe felt

This is true. Joe, as we may have noted in the past, has the occasional issue with impulse control. Also it's probably a good idea to remember that not only has he had a really bad week and been really stressed, he took a knife to the shoulder, and can't actually have any painkillers. He's not exactly thinking straight. I know, I know -- they're impulsive, arrogant, never say what they're thinking (except when they say too much), get defensive when they're caught being wrong, and are really stubborn. You'd think they were... I dunno, guys or something. Nobody's actually noticed yet. Chris mentions it to the cop, but he wasn't paying a whole lot of attention. It'll have to wait until someone reads the report.

Joe stood on the sidewalk of his apartment complex and waved at Toby as Mary pulled away. It hurt, watching them go. It was the last time he was going to see Toby. He had a lump in his throat he couldn't get rid of, and it was all he could do to keep from crying. It was better this way, though. He'd been honest when he told Chris he wasn't going to hide. But Chris had been honest with him, too, at the hospital. He wasn't Joe's boyfriend. And that had hurt. It was a really shitty day when the most pleasant thing that happened was getting stabbed. Shaking his head, he turned and walked up to his building. He hoped the psycho that had jumped him earlier was gone. It didn't seem likely that he'd be hanging around. Joe just needed to pack, then he could get the hell out of there. Find a hotel for a while, find a job somewhere else, and go. The thought of leaving hurt worse than anything. There wasn't any other option, though. If he stayed with Chris he'd end up hating the man. If he stayed but left them alone, Toby would be hurt. He felt like he ought to be pissed at Chris. It was all his fault Joe was in this situation. Caught by a lover he couldn't keep, and tossed out by one he couldn't have. He couldn't manage any anger. Just sadness. Joe was preoccupied enough that he didn't pay much attention to the fact that his door was unlocked. "Excuse me, who are you?" The question brought Joe back to reality. Standing in his living room was a cop. He was young and nervous looking. Joe frowned. It was his apartment and he didn't feel like explaining himself to anyone. "Listen, it's been a really crappy day, and I don't need this right now." "I'm sorry, sir, but this is a crime scene. You can't come in here." "I'm not walking into a crime scene, I'm walking into my apartment. Now who the hell are you and what are you doing in my living room?" The cop looked a little uncomfortable. "Um, could I see some ID? Please?" That was the last straw. "ID? Are you f**king joking? You're in my apartment, standing next to a puddle of my goddamn blood, and you have the gall to ask me for identification? Who the f**K do you think you are? No, never mind, I don't care. Just get out." The cop had gone from uncomfortable to embarrassed. "You must be Mister Hennesy. Detective Russell said you might be back." "Figures. What does he want?" "He told me there was a stalker and I should make sure you were okay." Joe sighed. "I'm as fine as I'm going to be. You have to hang around or anything?" "He said I should gather some evidence if I had to." Joe snickered a little. "You're new at this, aren't you?" "How did you know?" "Just a guess," Joe said. "Nevermind. Listen, can you take a statement or whatever it is you guys need? I'm supposed to go down to the station tomorrow, but if I don't have to that's fine." "Uh, sure, I think. If, um, you have any paper?" "Oh, brother," Joe said. "Yeah, let me get some. I need to grab the boxes anyway." "Boxes?" the cop asked, as Joe walked into his study. "Are you packing?" "Yeah," Joe said. "I was getting ready to leave. Here," he said, handing the cop a legal pad and a pen, "you want to start writing while I throw things in boxes?" Joe opened the boxes up in the living room. The pile of charms and pictures had been knocked down when he'd been attacked, so he started there, carefully packing them in. He gave the cop a quick rundown of the attack as he worked. "

I should note here, since the transition into the next chapter is very much not clear, that Toby hangs around with Joe until Mary can come and pick them up.

Steve was quiet the whole drive back to the station. That worried Chris. When Steve was quiet it was a sign he was thinking, and Chris really didn't want him thinking about Joe. That was something Chris himself was trying not to do, not that he was managing it. He'd really f**ked up at the hospital. He knew that. Joe had needed him and he'd pulled away. Need might've been a strong word; Joe clearly could take care of himself. Chris was sure he didn't really need him. Still, he'd seen the hurt in Joe's eyes when he'd pulled away. Hurt and anger. Joe had been pissed. Chris couldn't really blame him. Chris had panicked when the captain had come in the room. Until then he hadn't thought about what he was doing. Joe was hurt and he was just acting on instinct. He hadn't been thinking then. He was thinking now. Was this what he really wanted? Joe had just waltzed into his life and taken over. Chris didn't have a choice, didn't have a chance. Things just moved around him, and he didn't have any say, or control. He hated that. He'd hated it when he was a kid, and he'd hated it with Megan. And now with Joe it was happening again. This time he wasn't just getting pulled along, he was participating it. That made it worse. He was as much at fault as anyone, and he still didn't have any control over it. Chris was jolted out of his thoughts when the car stopped. He looked up, but they weren't at the station. Steve had pulled off the road at one of the spots they used when they had paperwork to finish or were setting up a speed trap. It was secluded enough that they wouldn't be bothered. They just sat there quietly. Chris was waiting for Steve to say something. Steve was trying to figure out what to say. "So what the hell is your problem anyway?" Steve finally managed. It wasn't what he wanted to say, but he couldn't get anything better out. "What?" Chris was surprised. He knew Steve was going to say something, but he hadn't expected that. "I mean seriously, what's your problem? Are you going to f**K this one up too?" "I don't know what you

[Ah, you knew it was too good to be true] "Well, I'm all done," Nurse Dave remarked as he gathered up his things. "Someone'll be along in a bit to take care of you." "Thanks, Dave," Chris said absently. His fingers were stroking Joe's hand. He wasn't paying much attention. Steve was, and he caught the wry smile the nurse had. "So what happened?" Steve asked. He'd pulled out a notebook and pen. "Why'd you get carved up?" Something flared inside Chris. He was feeling suddenly very protective. Joe had been hurt, when he wasn't there to protect him. He was there now, and nothing else was going to hurt Joe, not if he could help it. "Steve," Chris snapped. "Not now." "Yes now," Steve shot back. "You know the drill. Just 'cause you're jumping the victim doesn't mean we put this off." "It can wait, dammit." "It's okay, Chris," Joe said. He gave Chris a gentle smile and squeezed his hand. "My shoulder's numb, and I'd rather get this over with." "Are you sure?" Chris asked. He was worried about Joe. Going over the details of crimes was tough, especially attacks like this. They'd had more than one person break down trying. Joe had already gone through enough. "Boy, are you whipped," Steve remarked. He sounded amused. "f**K you," Chris shot back. "Not my job, man," Steve said. "Can we just get this over with?" Joe grumbled. He was tired and achy, and feeling shook up. He wanted to get his things, go home, and curl up on the couch. Even if the couch was damned uncomfortable. It'd be worth it. "I don't think

The kiss at the end of this is going to get tossed out in the edits. They came together too quickly, I think -- the two plotlines really need to resolve at the same time, so it's time to throw a bit of conflict into this. Gonna need to go back and smooth things out. It may be a bit interesting, since I really want to keep the scene in Chris' living room...

[i keep feeling like I ought to have Chris have a harder time with all this. I dunno, it feels a little too easy] "What's going on? Dammit Steve, where the hell are we going?" "Hospital," Steve said. He was driving like a madman. The car's lights were on, and he was weaving in and out of traffic. "Why ware we going to the hospital?" "Busy driving here," Steve said as he cut off a green SUV. Chris spent the next fifteen minutes worrying. There wasn't any point in pressing Steve for information

[This probably will end up getting rearranged and merged with chapter 57, but I was feeling cliff-hangery] "Toby! You shouldn't open the door for

That I can do. I was going to add a scene earlier in the story where Steve and Chris try talking to Stephanie for the first time, before they dragged Joe into it. That'd get me some coverage with Chris and Stephanie -- I'd hate to leave Joe torn choosing between the two.

I'm just not sure I have the time in the story to get Stephanie in with Joe and Chris. (And I'll admit to some ambivalence to it) I dunno. I think the best I'm going to be able to manage is to set things up and leave it at that -- if she does come home with the guys, it'll have to be in another story. (Which I don't have at the moment, but I have no doubt they can come up with some trouble to get into)

[Mmmm, banter. And some background, though I'm not sure if maybe it's too late in the book to be adding in background at this point] Chris and Steve sat at the back of the scruffy conference room. There were two dozen people in it with them. Some of them were other detectives from the city, some of them were detectives from the state police, there were a couple of guys from the Attorney General's office, and some PR guy from the state. They always got one of those whenever something that might end up on the front page of the papers for more than a day happened. Chris took a sip of his coffee and waited. His good mood from the morning had evaporated. This was yet another briefing, to get everyone up to speed. The third damn day of briefings, and he was tired of it. It wasn't helping that he and Steve had put the case together well enough that these jokers felt the need to step in and take it away. Steve wasn't nearly so bothered. This stuff happened, and as far as he was concerned, if they found the guy and got him off the streets before someone else died that was good enough. Getting to laugh at the pompous little guy who couldn't get the video projector working was a bonus. "So," Steve said, "looks like someone had a good night last night." Chris snorted. "Yeah," he replied, waving his coffee cup at the guy at the podium. "Handed him the case on a f**king silver platter. Probably beat off thinking about the promotion he'd get." "It wasn't him beating off I was thinking about," Steve said with a smirk. "Then you really need to talk to Mary about that little problem of yours." "Not so little, my friend." "I know your friend isn't little," Chris said, tapping himself on the chest. "It was your dick we were talking about." "Perving on my dick? What would Joe say?" "'Is that it?' probably." The lights dimmed at that point, and the projector in the back of the room flickered on. "Right," the small man at the front of the room said. "It looks like we have a psycho of some sort out there. We've done a profile of the victims so far, and it looks

[i'm not sure whether I should have Joe have more stuff he pulls down. I do need to go back to the part where Steve stops by and make sure more of this is mentioned] Joe pulled into his parking spot at his complex. He'd almost parked in the visitor's spot

I think I'm going to end up around 80K words by the time the draft is done, probably around 110K by the time the second is finished, probably down to ~95K or so after the edits. I hope. We'll see -- this is turning out to be longer than Yankee. (And going faster, so I'm certainly not complaining. Well, y'know, Chris and Steve have a long hstory of cheerful mutual abuse, and I think between the two of them they could come up with at least a dozen obnoxius things to say with that first phrase... Toby's made his decision, that's for sure. It'll probably even stick, too, though kids can sometimes be fickle about things. (But as Joe's not a stuffed animal or character from Spongebob, probably not. ) Yep. We'll see how Chris feels about that. I've always figured he had issues with anyone calling him "Daddy" (since that's what he called his own fater, and we know how well that turned out) but I haven't made any mention of it that I can think of. I may well just let it go as not worth the effort. You really want them to adopt Stephanie, don't you?

[Ah... I got nothin'] "Yes," Joe said. It was a reflex, the word coming out before his brain was at all engaged. "Don't I get a say in that?" Chris said from behind them. His voice was almost a growl. This was how things had gone with Megan. She'd always done what she'd wanted, and made sure he'd done it too. Whether he wanted to or not. He'd hated that, how insignificant it made him feel. How insignificant he'd let it make him feel. Joe turned and gave Chris a smoldering look. "Always," he said. "You always have a say, Chris." He meant it, and Chris knew it. Chris was up and around the table in a second, pulling Joe into a crushing kiss. Joe's head started to spin. When Chris let him go he had to grab onto Toby's chair to keep from falling. "Are we going over Aunt Mary's now?" Toby sounded impatient. His Papa and Joe were doing boring kissing things, and he was ready to go. "Sure, sport," Joe said. He took the boy's hand. "I can always kiss your Papa later." Toby rolled his eyes and pulled Joe towards the kitchen door. "See you tonight?" Joe called as he was dragged away. "About six," Chris called after. He was smiling, amused at how quick Toby had taken to Joe. When they were outside, Joe grabbed Toby under his arms and swung the boy around. He was rewarded by a squeal of laughter. He pulled Toby in close and he wrapped himself around Joe. He was still like that when Joe knocked on Steve's door. Joe was surprised it was Steve answering. He'd expected Mary. "Good morning," Steve said. He hadn't expected to see Joe, and he was shocked at the change. Monday afternoon he'd looked like his world had ended. Now, two days later, he looked happy. Ecstatic, really. Rumpled, too. His hair was messy, his shirt was rumpled, and his lips were a little swollen. Steve grinned. He knew exactly what had gone on. He was tempted to hassle Joe about it, but Toby being there would've made it tough. He'd get Chris instead when they got to the station. "I came to drop Toby off for the day. I've got to go run some errands and get a few things from my apartment." Toby started to bounce. "C'n I come with you? Can I, can I? Pleeeeeeeease?" "Uh, I dunno? Help?" he asked Steve. "I think this is your call," Steve said. He was grinning like a maniac, watching Toby try to get Joe to do what he wanted. Joe took a breath. He didn't know what was the right thing to do here. If he was going to be with Chris, though, that meant he was going to be one of Toby's parents. He had no idea what that meant, but he figured there was at least some responsibility involved. He certainly didn't mind Toby coming with him, and he was pretty sure that his apartment was at least mostly safe for a kid to be in. "Okay," he said. "if it's okay with your Aunt Mary, you can come with me." "You'll need a car seat too," Steve said. "Oh. Um, I don't have one. Sorry, sport." "Aunt Mary does, Aunt Mary does!" Toby said. "You c'n burrow it. Please, Daddy?" Steve cocked an eyebrow at that, but it hit Joe like a punch in the head. "You can borrow one of ours, Daddy," Steve said, snickering. Joe was obviously in shock, and he thought it was hilarious. "Chris is going to have a fit," Joe muttered. "Nah, I don't think so," Steve said. "Or is that going to get you confused in bed?" Joe blushed. "You could shut up, you know." "Oh, I know. I'm just not going to." "Bastard," Joe grumbled. It didn't matter, though. He was pretty sure this was the best day of his life.

[From the mouths of babes, and suchlike things] Joe came downstairs, his hair still wet from the shower. Chris had gone first, as he needed to get ready for work. The smell of fresh-brewed coffee hit his nose as he walked into the kitchen. Toby was sitting at the table. Chris was at the stove. Joe could hear sizzling. "Breakfast?" Chris asked. There were two coffee cups on the counter next to him. "Thanks. What is it?" "Scrambled eggs and toast. You like them soft, right?" "Yeah. Can I grab a coffee cup?" Chris pointed at one of the cups on the counter. "Yours. Light, two sugars, right?" Joe gave Chris a hug from behind. "Right. You like yours black with sugar." "This is going to take some getting used to," Chris said. "Think of it as getting the awkward bits of dating out of the way," Joe said. He leaned in and whispered "have I ever mentioned I find a man who can cook really sexy?" "Really?" Chris asked. He sounded surprised. "Really," Joe said. He was tempted to give Chris a kiss, but he wasn't sure if Chris was up to that yet, not in front of Toby. Joe wasn't sure it was a good idea, either. He wanted them to work, but if they didn't he didn't want Toby to wonder why things had changed so much. "Morning, Toby," Joe said. He sat down at the table next to Toby. "Hi Uncle Joe. Can you do toast glasses?" Joe smiled. "Maybe tomorrow," he said. "Your Papa's got to go to work soon." "Don't you have to go in?" Chris asked. Joe shook his head. "No. I took the week off. I wasn't feeling too good Monday afternoon, so

[Less angst here than I expected. Chris is taking this all remarkably well] Joe woke with the sun in his face and a warm body spooned up behind him. It was a nice way to wake up, and the erection pressed up behind him was nice too. They'd gone to sleep back to back, but at some point Chris had rolled over and wrapped himself around Joe. It was something he hoped he'd have a chance to get used to. He shifted a little, so he could look at Chris. The motion made Chris stir, and his hand slipped onto Joe's hard dick. That was something Joe could really get used to too. Moving had woken Chris. He kissed Joe's shoulder, then froze when he realized where his hand was. Joe realized too, and before Chris could move he put his own hand on top of Chris'. "It's okay to touch, Chris," he said softly. Chris swallowed hard. He was comfortable, and it felt right. The dick in his hand was like his own, but not the same. It felt huge, though he knew it wasn't, not the way his hand fit around it. Joe moved his hand, and Chris' with it. Joe couldn't stifle the slight moan he made as Chris stroked him. That was fine. He didn't want to. The position he was in wasn't as comfortable as he wanted it to be. Joe rolled onto his back. The blanket moved with him, leaving him partly uncovered. The cool air felt good on his skin. He pushed it the rest of the way off, leaving himself completely exposed. Chris had moved with him, still lying on his side. He hadn't stopped stroking. "You're

It's a little weird writing this when there really isn't any of the 'traditional' homophobia or internalized issues that are in most gay fiction. Joe and Chris have their share of issues, that's for sure, and if there were more time in the story there'd be plenty of of conflict between them, but being gay just isn't one of their problems. I've found myself reaching for it more than once as a kind of crutch, only to chop bits out because it just doesn't work. There's still plenty of interesting stuff to work out, even without it. The dynamics between two guys in a relationship, even without much societal disapproval or internal 'gay' issues, is very different than the dynamics between a man and a woman. Keeping character enough to make those differences work has been something of a challenge.

[And we get all cuddly. Awww... ] Joe yawned. He was surprisingly comfortable, sitting on the floor, his head on Chris' lap, with Chris stroking his hair. He probably could have stayed there all night. Chris needed to get up in the morning, though. "Chris?" "Mmm?" Chris had fallen into a daze. He was feeling secure in a way he hadn't really ever known. Everything just felt so right, in ways he'd only ever felt with Toby. This was different, but just as good. Better, really. He felt complete. "You've got to go to work tomorrow, right?" Joe was working hard to keep his hands in check. It would've been so easy to let them go, to stroke Chris through his jeans. Joe didn't think he was quite ready for that. "Yeah," Chris said. He wasn't actually looking forward to the day. Too many meetings with too many people, filled with action plans and crap like that. Steve always tolerated that stuff better than he did. "Then let's go to bed," Joe said. He stood and offered his hand to Chris. "When you say bed, you mean

I'm honestly not sure if they can make Alex stop. He may have more independence than they want to think. Or he may not. It could easily go either way. Luckily there's not enough time left in the story for me to have to worry about it. And thanks all for the kind words. All the weirdness and contrivance aside, I've been trying to keep this real. Hyper-sexed highschool or college kids or absurd fantasies are fine, but I've been feeling the urge for 'normal' romance. Probably means I need to get out more... (Okay, get out at all )