notTed

Totally inexplicable...what is the point? I understand if one is in school and hasn't completed an assignment. I understand if one is being paid for something and doesn't have the output, but, to plagarize a free story on one sight to post as one's own on another free site....pointless. Please note, 'understand' does not mean sympathize or agree. It is despicable, but, also, a totally loser move. Clearly, this individual is in sincere need of therapy. pax, notTed

It is reactions such as hers which explain why I prefer men......

Dan, I like the way you think.

Okay, Dom. we are confronted by the Bible thumpers (both well-intentioned and not) increasingly in this age. Rather than dismissing them, we need to be able to respond in kind. A simple Google search on Homosexuality and the Bible yields a number of useful commentaries. The following link is one that is comrehensive on several levels: http://www.freeingthespirit.org/CommentariesJS.htm See the discussion on Romans as referenced in the text your mother gave you. In a nutshell, the Bible is a document of antiguity translated and interpreted over millenia thru mulitiple languages. To those literalists who proclaim that its every word is the inspired Word of God, inquire of them politely, which version? There are numerous ones. If they aren't reading the original Hebrew, Aramaic, & Greek texts, (do they read Aramaic regularly? How intriguing...), they are reading translations which are the imperfect work of Man. (If they are on their toes, they will proclaim that those translators are inspired at the time by the Holy Spirit to be the True Word....again, ask whether all versions are equally inspired and, if not, which ones aren't...) And, oh by the way, ancient Hebrew scribners eschewed the use of vowels...only consonants were written out with the appropriate vowels to be inferred from the context and usage. Also, they weren't big on punctuation, either. Imagine, if you will, reading and interpreting for a modern audience, say, Chaucer's Canterbury Tales w/o vowels or punctuation marks. Then, get someone else to do it and see if they get the same result. Good luck. At any rate, the Romans passage sited in the text your mother gave you actually starts several verses earlier. The text as a whole is a discussion and condemnation of idolatry not homosexuality. Among the practices of idolators was the abasing of oneself sexually to the temple priests/priestesses...acts of domination and subjugation, as an expression of fealty to false gods. It is not a discussion, nor condemnation, of consensual gay relationships among emotionally mature adults. (In a later passage, Paul condemns the then common practice of keeping a young male slave in the household as a sexual plaything....what we today refer to, and likewise condemn, as child abuse.) Read the discussion in the link above and others available to confirm my 'condensed' version. Every Biblical reference commonly sited as condemning homosexuality (there are only about a half dozen) can be found to do so only upon a tortured, strained interpretation of the original text. It behooves us to familiarize ourselves with these passages, the twisted anti-gay translations, and the more likely (and gay affirmative) interpretations thereof. pax, notTed

Dom, this is a really important issue that you should approach carefully. Unfortunately for me, I have wandered thru here at 5:00 AM and don't have time to develop a well thought out response. However, I embrace the approach of our Quaker friend (no pun intended) and suggest a low-key response to your mom. She loves you, she's wrong, let her work through things. Be who you are and she will understand in time. pax, notTed

I think part of the reason so many of these stories revolve around younger guys is that that is generally the age where one has to deal with what for many of us is THE drama in our lives, the process of coming to terms with being gay. It would be nice to read stories where one or some of the characters are gay but where that is just as aspect of the story, not the main theme.

Glad you're back, Dom! Quick replies (it is late...): Cheating? Not in and of itself, but, may be the first step to actually doing so. But, then, so is making a new friend at __________ (fill in the blank, "work" "the supermarket" 'the club"). If someone is looking to cheat, they will find a venue. I also agree w/the poster who distinguished between the "Oops!" one-timer v. the multi-occasion affair. I might (maybe) forgive the one, would have a hard time w/the oher. Euthanizing a pet? I would want myself to be put down when I am too old and infirm to enjoy life, so doing so w/one of my dogs is not an issue for me. Having said that, I have not had to actually make that decision. The dog we had when I was a boy was my sister's, I was relatively young when she was put to sleep and I was away at the time. My own dog, over whom I still grieve, was struck by a train (long, painful story; please don't ask) in my presence and I still feel it nearly a decade later. So, I understand how painful the situation is for you. My only advice is for you to have the courage to be dispassionate and concentrate on what is best for your dog, not what is best for you. None of us may be as spritely as when we were pups, but, can still enjoy life's present pleasures. As long as your dog is reasonably comfortable and happy, let her (him?) be. If her days are a misery of pain, unleavened by any pleasure or joy, then be kind to her. What to do w/the remains? As a boy, I was riding into NYC to go to a Mets game w/my dad (or maybe the World's Fair? Was a long time ago....) and I remember being dumbstruck when we drove past a huge cemetary right in the city. Seemed to me to be a huge waste of space and I resolved then to be cremated when I died. Cast me to the wind or the sea and plant a lovely tree in my memory. I am fond of cherry trees and would prefer that I be remembered fondly every year when the tree marks the renewal of spring with the delicate beauty of its blossoms. pax, notTed

Must agree...this story directly confronts the 'closet'. I spent way too many years in there and identify completely w/Ennis. Anyone of us could be him, ending up alone and lonely, but 'socially acceptable' as str8. I just am very thankful that society is more open today than in the era of this story and that I am able to live openly w/my spouse w/o fear or intimidation.

I agree with the sentiment that attractive people look good naked and its unfortunate corollary, that unattractve people are ugly naked. The 'ugly' truth is that there are a lot more of the latter. My sister's family lived in one of the Scandinavian countries for 3 years and my nephew (and my pervert now-ex brother-in-law) were excited about the common nude beaches over there. What they quickly found, however, was that everyone would be nude, not just luscious 'Sonya' but her mom or (egads!) grandma, too, w/maybe grandpa laying out for some sun, as well. Ewww! Bad mental image. So, there you have it. Most of us are improved in appearance by the addtion of clothes.

If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers. Only fools make a dare....and you're even more of a fool if you take a dare. These were sayings of my mom. Never up, never in! That is one of my dad's sayings.....he was a golfer and referring to his putting technique. I don' think he ever got the other potential meanings of that saying.... pax, notTed

OK, now I am stunned. Dom "does not want to be part of a couple." How can someone who writes so well about romance not want to be part of a couple? Seems to me that someone has gotten burned once too often and now doesn't want to climb back on the horse.....(I believe that is what they call a mixed metaphor, but, what do I know? I am the reader, not the writer here.) Sounds like we need to fix Dom up w/someone nice. Suggestions? Volunteers? (Sorry, Dom, I am taken.) Perhaps we should form a committee to vet responses. I am thinking Vic should chair it, given his years (and years and ....) of experience. Better yet, we could all pitch in and buy him a listing on Match.com. A friend of mine did that for his brother. I thought it was kind of nice, but, the brother was more than a bit miffed. At any rate, Dom, don't give up on love (unless, of course, being alone makes you write more, in which case, all bet's are off.....)

ex-neighbors used to have a great dane and a shih tzu (spelling?). Great dane was a pup....the shih tzu would bark at him and cower him.....until about the 6 month point, when he realized how much bigger and stronger he was. They got along well, though. GDs are big suckers....and they slobber when they eat....very gross. My dogs are pound pups....cross between irish setters/retrievers of some sort, w/a little border collie in there somewhere. They love to chase the squirrels and birds in the back yard. Current neighbor is a bird fanatic w/multiple feeders, so the yard is full of birds and squirrels...puppy heaven. Just visit the neighbor's dog....let them feed him and pay the vet bills.

Was there a doubt?

Whew! Isn't it amazing how many dipshits there are in the world? Why aren't the rest of us, nondipshits, like totally running things? Strange, isn't it? Take a break, Dom. The Super Bowl is about to start. My money is on Pittsburgh, but I don't really have strong feelings about it one way or the other. In sports, I am more of a baseball fan ('Go, Mets!') than a football fan. A for the Super Bowl, I am mostly rooting for the commercials. I would love to see someone spoof whatshername and the 'wardrobe malfunction'....maybe a dancing Perdue Chicken that accidentally displays a breast? Or a Chik-fil-a cow doing the same (I love those cows....have you seen their calendar?) Anyway, chill, and get to the writing whenever you get to it. (ok, I was kidding about the whenever part....my Dom low level light is blinking hard....need a fix soon! LOL) pax, notTed

I saw it tonite (Sunday)....whew....I am still crying. I hope people get it, but, I fear that those who haven't struggled w/their sexuality won't really understand. After years suppressing my feelings, praying for God to 'fix' me, steeling myself to accept being alone, I can totally identify w/Jack and Ennis. I tried to be like Ennis, but, found I was Jake, instead. Thank God I found someone special to share my life. I read Anne's story first and just broke down when Ennis goes thru the things in Jack's room (took me by surprise...). I thought I was prepared for this scene during the movie, but, I lost it all over again. I note that the movie, despite being in 1/3 to 1/5 the number of theaters as other top grossing movies, is 8th overall in this week's box office. I hope the Golden Globes give it a kick Monday night and the crowds keep coming. Heath and Jake have done a great great job of acting ... Heath is getting more kudos, but, Jake gave him something to play off and deserves a lot of credit. Both were incredibly brave to take these roles. I cannot say enough and urge all to go see this movie.

Thank, trebs and friendlyface. notTed

Well....the whole Seth twist led me to re-read DD from the beginning yesterday (ok, speed read; it still took a few hours) to see how our friend Dom had (again) duped me w/red herrrings. I am such a sucker for the obvious. Anyway, I kind of recommmend (actually, that is wishy washy..."I recommend") doing so, if like me, you have read the chapters as they came out and not all at once. Recall that when DD started, TLW and TOU were still going strong. Thus, for me, the power of the DD story line was diluted somewhat by bouncing back and forth as new chapters came out. By going back, I was struck anew by the features of DD that hit home originally, namely, Rory coming to grips w/the catastrophic loss of him mom and the disorientation of a moving to a whole new environment in conjunction therewith. I feel like the person in that song (I forget the name) who hears some lounge singer and finds that the singer is "Strumming my heart w/this fingers, singing me life w/his song...." Having gone thru something similar, I keep thinking, "How does Dom do this? How does he know?" It is very eerie, especially coming from one so young (sorry, Dom, I have sweat socks older than you....) in years who must be very old in experience (perhaps from from past lives? Calling Shirley McClaine.....!). Anyway, it was worthwhile to go thru it again and pick up on some hints of future plot twists. Keep up the good work, Dom! pax, notTed

Oh, Dom, you mean SOB! I just read Ch 18 and never saw that one coming! What a great chapter! (Whew, 3 exclamation points in a row....deep breath, calming now. Gonna be ok.) Of course, now I have to go re-read the first 17 and see what clues I missed. When I get yelled at tomorrow for falling asleep at my desk, I am gonna tell 'em it's all your fault.

Sounds to me as though Dom's ski holiday was not a blast.... Here's hoping things improve for all y'all and that the Xmas Fairy visits each and every one of you and smites you w/his magic wand.....(hmmm, that's sounds pretty good to me. Send him my way when he is done w/you, ok?) pax, notTed

At www.carfax.com you can pay a fee ($25.00 when I did it) for some period of time (I think 30 or 60 days) and then when you are interested in a particular car, enter its VIN (Vehicle Identification Number) and get a history of the car....ownership, any major accidents, thefts, etc. Most folks want to avoid cars that have been rental cars, 'cuz customers tend to abuse them ("Hey? What do I care? It's a rental!"); the contrary observation is that the rental company will have professionally maintained it. Definitely avoid cars that have been in a major wreck. I like to check out the Consumer Reports on cars. They categorize them by type (sedan, economy, trucks, etc.) with rankings of individual cars. You have to read between the lines a little w/Consumer Reports, however. They tend to be more interested in fuel economy and reliability than style, sex appeal and "varoom!" factors which are important to me. I still like the economy, reliability, etc., so I review what the like and then try and choose something w/n their picks that still has a bit of style. You can use CR to avoid the clunkers, though. Once you have narrowed the search down to a particular vehicle, ask whether you can have it examined by a mechanic. A decent mechanic can spend a few minutes w/a vehicle and give you an idea of the shape it is in.....not a total guarantee, but, still, better than nothing. Anyone who won't let you do this doesn't deserve your business. Good luck and let us know what you end up w/. pax, notTed

Wow! Thanks, for the link. I can see I am going to be a complete mess during the movie. Better get my sister to come w/me so she can drive home.

This may be a cliche, but, try watching (best to rent it so avoiding commercials) "It's A Wonderful Life!" I had never seen it until grad school, and, just before finals first semester (we were all majorly freaking out), the social committee presented it in one of the large classrooms. I was gushing like a baby at the end. Luckily, it took them a few minutes to figure out how to get the lights back on, so I had a chance to compose myself and revert to the Joe Cool persona that I tried to project in those days (fooling nobody, of course).

Oh, damn! I just spent 25 minutes writing and polishing the best blog reply to Dom when I went to italicise a word and somehow managed to *poof*!! disappear the whole thing....I am way too tired to do it all over. Sorry folks. Trust me, it was sagacious, poignant, funny, and uplifting, all rolled into one (ok, truth is, it was more than ok, but I really am not up to re-doing it. Maybe tomorrow.... Dom, get your ass out of the house and do something. I don't care what, just dont mope. That is not emotionally healthy. XXOO, pax, notTed

I rarely get sick, however, every so often, I take a "mental health" day off from work. Very beneficial.

And, uh, for me, the point is that we ARE like King Arthur and other heroic figures from history. Who he slept w/is but a small portion of who he was. Just because he slept w/Guinivere rather than that hunk Lancelot doesn't make him more or less heroic. Was Arthur left- or right-handed? What color were his eyes? Who knows or more importantly, who cares? In the same way, hopefully, we can get to a place where who w/are attracted to is incidental to whether we are capable of heroics. Excuse me, now, but, I have to go leap a tall building.... pax, notTed