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    Agaith
  • Agaith
  • Author
  • 01/24/2011
  • 352 Words
  • 869 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

I walk the barren path - 4. Do not fear

Ok this is an attempt at rhyming poem, it is also about a topic or feeling almost everyone has felt at some point in their lives.

I can feel them creep closer, the fears, the doubts

they enter my head, they start to shout.

I look at my love but do not believe,

that the smile nor his grace is truly for me.

I look at myself and then back at him,

I still feel the same, is it a sin?

I tremble and shake, and start to feel sick,

as he walks towards me, bit by bit.

He kneels down besides me, I feel hands hold my face.

And instantly I feel like I'm perfectly safe.

He leans to my ear and starts to whisper,

'My love, my darling, what is there to fear?'

'You judge yourself harshly, way more than you should,

be confident, be strong, you're as every bit good.

As the next person which passes, yet I know them not,

for it is you who I know, it is you who I want.

So look into yourself and find deep inside,

the pride that is in you, let it out, be loud!'

I look into his eyes and see only caring,

I see his the love in his eyes and to whom he is sharing.

'I cannot right now, I need more time,'

It's ok' he says, 'take your time to shine'.

Tears glisten my vision as I look back at him,

and see pain in his eyes, of what has and what's been.

'I dont want you hurt, or sad, or down,

I want you to smile, and to bounce round and round.'

He embraces me now, strong arms wrapped around me.

I feel safe now and it is now I do see.

He loves me, no one else, his gaze one of concern.

I kiss him deeply, soon he will learn.

'I do believe you, my light, my fire,

I will soon be strong, I see your desire,

for me to believe, and I will, you'll see.'

His smile makes me soar, the voices are banished.

All the dark feelings are slowly vanished.

I slowly rise with him and together we stand.

Locked eye to eye, walking hand in hand

Ok so it doesnt rhyme perfectly but I still hope you enjoyed it :) I hope everyone can take something from this poem :)
Copyright © 2011 Agaith; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 6
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Sara Alva

I don't read a lot of poetry, so I can't really critique it very well, but I can relate to the emotion behind this piece. I do believe that the right person can help you overcome self-doubts and become a stronger, healthier individual. Sometimes it may be a lover and sometimes it may be a friend, but when you find that match it's amazing.

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Toast

I like this line: I want you to smile, and to bounce round and round. As hard as a relationship can be, it can still be joyful. Finding oneself and finding love are parallels. Liked reading this. Sorry, you did not enter it into the anthology. So write another one. Nice read.

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Frostina

Ummm... U got it BAD darlin'.... :hug: Like Kingdom said, i too have very little experience to critique the poetry, however, I do know emotions when I see them...WOW!! :) the emotions are flying all over... :P

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Agaith
On 01/24/2011 10:43 PM, Bumblebee said:
Very good poem Stu.... thats my reviewing skills exhausted lol
LOL, thanks Bee, I'm glad you exhausted your reviewing skills on me :P
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Agaith
On 01/24/2011 07:10 PM, Frostina said:
Ummm... U got it BAD darlin'.... :hug: Like Kingdom said, i too have very little experience to critique the poetry, however, I do know emotions when I see them...WOW!! :) the emotions are flying all over... :P
hehe Frosty :P yeah all my poems are about emotions I was feeling at the time of writing so they are all about something that has touched me or someone close to me
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Agaith
On 01/24/2011 12:53 PM, Foster said:
I like this line: I want you to smile, and to bounce round and round. As hard as a relationship can be, it can still be joyful. Finding oneself and finding love are parallels. Liked reading this. Sorry, you did not enter it into the anthology. So write another one. Nice read.
thanks Sam, I will try and write another if an idea hits :)
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Agaith
On 01/24/2011 12:36 PM, Sara Alva said:
I don't read a lot of poetry, so I can't really critique it very well, but I can relate to the emotion behind this piece. I do believe that the right person can help you overcome self-doubts and become a stronger, healthier individual. Sometimes it may be a lover and sometimes it may be a friend, but when you find that match it's amazing.
I'm glad you can relate to emotion. I feel a lot of people have trouble reviewing poetry because of the various ways it can be interpreted. As long as the reader gets something out of it then I am happy :)
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Marzipan

Who need rhymes when the words put together open such a beatiful view. I loved this poem, I loved the way the "lover" made the protagonist feel.

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Mark92

Thoughts all over the place Stuby ,wishing but doubting you know what I mean. Lovely lovey poem xx :wub:

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