Black Sheep Part 2 - 3. Chapter 3

"Anne, come here, let her be for a minute.” Adam calls out to me.

I flop down on the couch, Adam next to me, Jack on the other side. I look at the guys and then at the movie they're supposed to be watching. Adams hand seeks out mine and grabs on tightly when he finds it. I feel how he is shaking but when I try to pull him closer he edges away from me. So it is manly to hold my hand but not to be comforted? I sigh, leaning back on the couch, men.

Mom comes out of the kitchen, her eyes red from crying. I stand up, quickly making my way towards her and I embrace her tightly. I hear movement on the couch and suddenly Jack is there too, embracing us both with a slight discomfort, but there non the less.

“Is he okay?” I try to keep my voice steady, not wanting to upset her more.

“He refuses to talk or to do anything except sitting in his room.” She takes a deep breath. “Adam?”

“Yes?” Adams voice sounds strangled, as if he could burst into anger at any moment.

“We are not allowed to see him until he starts talking. He knows this, so please comply. Don't make a scene, okay?”

“Fuck. Sure.” Sounds of the couch moving reaches my ears, I hope he will join us. But the door of the room slams shut and angry footsteps go up the stairs, another slamming of a door and the house falls still.

I want to run after him but Mom grabs me. “Leave him for now. He needs to cool down.”

A knock on the window startles us.

“Steve!” Jack rushes to the door to greet his brother.

I look at Mom. “Are you okay?”

She nods and squeezes my arm fondly. “Thank you. We'll get through this again. As long as we all stay together.” She touches my cheek and smiles warily. “I'm sorry for putting this much pressure on you.”

“It's okay. We're family. Family takes care of each other.” I turn to greet Steve but I'm met in a strong embrace even before I fully turn around. Without thinking I cling to him, savouring his strong body, as I feel how his presence seems to calm me completely.

“I'm sorry for putting even more pressure on your family like this.” Steve sits next to me, his face grave, his posture composed. “I promise it will only be for a short while. Just until Sarah and I move into our own place somewhere in the next couple of weeks.”

“You have a place?” Jack looks surprised. “When did you get it?”

“We signed the papers today. We'll be moving out in the next couple of weeks. So please, misses Jones, could he stay here for the time being?” Steve looks at Mom, desperation evident on his face. My heart aches as I look at him. I wish, like many times before, we could be more than just friends, so I could hold him close like I ache to do.

“Are you sure he will be able to move in with you?” Mom looks unsure.

“Yes, we chose this place so he would have a place away from home too. It will be fine. We'll help in any way possible as long as he stays here.”

“I don't know, it is going to be very hectic the next couple of weeks. I'm not sure it is what Jack needs right now.”

“Please mrs Jones. I can help out around here.” Jack interferes. “I'll make sure I won't bring any problems.”

“You do realise you'll have to sleep in Vics room and that we will probably be really cranky most of the time, right?” Mom looks intensely at Jack.

“Yes. Yes, I realize that. It will be okay. I won't get in the way.”

We now all look at Mom, though my eyes wander to Steves strong features.

“Fine, but you have to make sure that you take care of the whole process with your parents and stuff. You can stay here for the time being.”

“I will, thank you mrs Jones.” Jack beams, grabbing the bag his brother brought in with him and goes upstairs.

Mom sighs and stands. “You want a drink, Steve?”

“Sure, some water would be fine. But first I'd like a smoke. I'll be back in a bit.” Steve stands and walks out the back door. His body is tense, his shoulders lightly hunched. I quickly follow him, hoping for a little bit of time with him on my own.

I close the door behind me and Steves arms snake around me, pulling me close, relaxing both our stances.

“I can't imagine what you are going through, but if you need someone I'm here for you.” His warm breath tickles my ear and he pulls me closer.

“I know. Thank you. It's all such a mess.” My voice breaks slightly and suddenly he is standing in front of me. Pulling me against his strong, toned body. I shiver as his masculine smell reaches my nose. I move my arms around him, pulling him even closer, as suddenly unstoppable tears are flowing down my cheeks.

“Shhhh, it will be okay. He'll pull through.” He moves his hands up and down my back. “He'll be okay. He'll be okay.”

I look up and see tears shine in his eyes. He looks back down, giving me a tight smile before he swallows hard. I resist the urge to kiss him, remembering he is very happy with his boyfriend and doesn't need me to make a mess out of his life too. Instead I reach up and dry away his unshed tears with my thumb.

He bites his lip and whispers “You better go back inside before you catch a cold.” He looks me right in the eyes, a pained look on his face.

I nod and feel how his hand lingers on my waist when I move inside.

When Steve gets back inside his eyes are slightly red. I try to catch his attention but he act as if he doesn't see my inquiring looks. It hurts that he ignores me like this, what just happened? Did something just happen without me realizing? Did I do something to upset him more? Was there actually a reason he was reluctant to let me go?

I shake my head. Of course there was nothing going on, that was just my mind. He was probably just upset because of everything that was going on.

Steve is in a deep conversation with my Mom and seems back to his normal self. He softly smiles at her, trying to calm her down. Sometimes he seems to be distracted by something and I suddenly realise he is looking at me in the reflection of the darkened window. Making sure I'm okay too, that I seem to be able to deal with everything going on. When I catch his eye I smile, showing him I'm doing okay. The empty smile and sad eyes that reach me break my heart. I yearn to be able to hold him close like he had just done for me. No, I yearn to be able to hold him, period.