Dribbles - 9. Rupert the Bear

Her laugh broke the silence.

"Daddy, look at me!"

I watched my daughter play on the playground and have fun. She was only four and had no idea what the day was. I knew and it was a day that broke my heart. She slid down the slide and came running over to me in her cute little shorts and tank top, her cheeks bright red.

"It's hot honey, drink some water." I handed over her purple water bottle and made sure she took several big drinks. Water dripped off her chin when she gave it back.

"Five more minutes, okay?" She pouted, sticking her lip out. "No whining, now. It's all we have left."

She scrunched up her nose and then looked up at me, "Will you push me?" At my nod she was off and running for the swings.

Her giggles and screams for me to push her higher tore at me. Safe behind her back I let the tears fall silently. I hated this!

                                                                                                                  **

"You're late!"

"We were at the playground," I said quietly. Bethany was buckling herself into her flower booster in the backseat. I wouldn't argue in front of her, I refused to do that to her.

"Whatever. Just get back here, we have somewhere to be."

The drive back to my ex-wife's was full of Bethany's chatter about starting school next week and her friend Mara from next door being in her class and if I was going to be there to pick her up from school on her visit days.

"I promised, didn't I? Right in front of the school."

She nodded happily. I got out of the car and opened her door, helping her out and putting her little backpack of clothes on her back. She clutched her bear Rupert in her arms. I tried not to but I couldn't help the tears in my eyes when she wrapped her little arms around my neck.

"Don't be sad Daddy! It's okay, it's okay," she said as she patted my back.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "Sorry honey. You're right. It's going to be okay."

Suddenly she shoved Rupert in my arms. "Here Daddy, you keep Rupert this week. He'll keep you from being sad, he's good for hugging."

I gave her a small smile and held the bear. "Thank you baby."

The front door opened and Cindy stood there, glaring at me. I gave Bethany one last hug.

"Time for you to go."

**

I waited in a line of other cars as the classes came out of the front of the school. I stood next to my car watching as the kids came out in lines. When I saw Mara come through the door I waved. She waved back. Watching, I looked for Bethany's small red head but she wasn't in the line. Maybe she was in another class? When the bigger kids started coming out I realized that she wasn't coming. I rushed inside the school and up to the office window.

"I'm looking for my daughter. I was supposed to pick her up today."

An older woman smiled at me. "First time?"

I nodded.

"Let's see where she could be. What's her name?"

"Bethany Spanders."

The woman typed Bethany's name into her computer and then frowned. She looked up at me and then got on the phone.

When the principal came out I began to panic. I couldn't control my panting. "What's going on?" My voice was strangled.

"You're Bethany's father? Can I see some ID please?"

I nodded and handed over my license. My fingers shook so hard I could barely get it out of my wallet. "Where is she?" I asked desperately.

"She never came to school. We tried calling your wife and the contact numbers in the file but the numbers were disconnected."

I stared at her numbly. "Ex-wife," I mumbled. I concentrated on just breathing. "She didn't come to school this morning?"

She looked at me with pity in her eyes. I didn't like it. This couldn't be happening. "No. She didn't come at all this week. Look, the police are on their way, why don't you come sit down in my office."

I followed her and somehow kept from falling to my knees and screaming during the interview with the police and even managed to drive myself home. I put my keys down and walked into my bedroom. I looked around the room, trying to figure out what I was doing when my eyes fell on Rupert the bear sitting on the nightstand next to a picture of Bethany and me. I lost it. My knees hit the floor as I collapsed and I shouted and cried, my fists pounding the tan carpet until blood began to soak in and stain the fibers.

Sometime later I finally stopped, my entire world shrunk down to the pain that filled my chest and took away my breath. I crawled onto the bed and reached for Rupert the bear. I cradled him to me and sobbed. She was gone. The police would try to find them but they had several days head start. I would have to be patient. Words rang in my head but I didn't know what to do. My baby girl was gone and took my whole world with her.