Memoirs of a child of the past century - 3. Chapter 3 : teenage years

Life was not easy for us from 1940 to 1945. In 1943, the Germans had occupied the south of France, our only contact with the ‘free world’, and completely surrounded Switzerland. We had become an island of freedom in the ocean of Nazi barbarism and fascism, a neutral country turned in on itself, but ready to push back the Germans, for whom our country was like a ‘thorn in the side’. Our army had transformed the Swiss Alps into a huge fortress. The strategy of General Guisan was to take refuge in the Alps in case of invasion, leaving the plains too difficult to defend. This was the strategy of our national redoubt, the ‘Réduit National’.

Moreover, the Germans needed the lines of railway across the Alps to supply their armies fighting in Italy. In the case of German attack, it was planned to blow up all bridges and tunnels between the north and the south of Switzerland cutting off all communication road and rail from Germany to Italy. It was probably one of the reasons why the Nazis never attacked Switzerland.

The other reason was the good financial relations between Switzerland and Germany, one of the subjects of our dark history. The Nazis needed the Swiss banks to ‘launder’ the money stolen from banks in countries invaded and from German Jews.

Thus, at the end of the war, the Americans came to the Swiss government to claim a portion of that money! It was a difficult negotiation. However, the fact that our country had helped the Allies by transforming the American Embassy into a center of intelligence in the service of the U.S. finally allowed an agreement. Switzerland had to pay ‘only’ 250 million francs, nearly one billion dollars at the time. This center of intelligence was the office of Allen Dulles, the future director of the CIA, who was transferred from Britain to Switzerland, where he lived for the duration of the war.

In my case, my teen problems were more important than the international situation !. As soon as I was old enough, I helped as much as I could all those who fought for freedom in and around Switzerland (see later) but both socially and in terms of my personal evolution, moving from the age of 11 than 16 years was not a simple matter.

Regarding religion, my father had changed his attitude. He wanted me to know what being Jewish meant. I had to follow the courses of the religious school every Saturday. I learned modern Hebrew and even later I became a member of the Hashomer Hatzair, a movement of Zionist Jewish youth fighting for the creation of the State of Israel.

Being Jewish was not easy at school. On the advice of my father, I started taking lessons of Ju-Jitsu, a Japanese martial art and a method of close combat for defeating armed opponent. It was the right answer against all those who called me “dirty Jew”, which stopped very quickly !

But most important was neither the school nor my religion, it was my nascent puberty. I began to watch the young’s around me in new perspective, appreciating their physical appearance and often the beauty of their appearance, imagining being with them in the wild and stripping of the gaze. The most interesting was that I made no difference between boys and girls. I was attracted to both genders. I learned later that it was the first manifestation of my bisexuality.

Just two memories of this period :

I was 12 years old . We rehearsed a play as part of the Jewish religious school. We dressed up and we changed before rehearsals. I see myself opening the wrong door, entering the locker room for girls and pointing to a girlfriend just in his underwear. I still remember my feelings today.

I was 14 years old; a group of friends in the same age (2 girls and 3 guys) were camping on a beach at the lake of Geneva, far from any adult. It was almost midnight. With one friend (the others were sleeping in the tent) we went to a ‘midnight bath’, skinny dipping in the dark water. The sky was also dark, no moon and there were no lights on both sides of the lake, the Swiss and the French and the two sides of the lake was obscured because of the war. I swam far away from the beach, forgetting my friend at the beach, and suddenly I was lost. I didn’t know how to return to the beach and was panic-stricken. These few minutes were horrible. I saw me drowned, until I heard my friend call from the beach. I recovered then, and could swim slowly the nearly half a mile back. I remember the feeling of the coldness of the water, the deepness of the ‘abysses’ (the lake was at least 30 m. deep!) and the fear of dying.

On my return, my friend hugged me. We were both naked and the inevitable happened. This was my first gay experience. We let ourselves be guided by our senses and our bodies took control of our actions, letting the passion invade us and bring us to the discovery of physical love. After suffering the fear of death, the contrast was striking and memorable. Even today, I remember each minute and live it again in my dreams.

The arrival in Geneva of my maternal grandparents.

It’s November 1939. Since 1933, the situation of Jews in Germany has become increasingly difficult. My grandparents suffered like all their fellow Jews from Nazi persecution. They were driven from their homes, have lost all their resources. Their only opportunity to escape death is to take refuge in Geneva.

But fear of foreign Jews has also gained in Switzerland. The Swiss authorities refuse entry of all German Jews. At the request of Switzerland, all passports now carry an inscription 'J', allowing them back at the border. This manifestation of anti-Semitism is a first stain on the honor of Switzerland, followed later by another stain, the policy of systematic refusal of the French refugee fleeing occupied France. Through his military contacts, my father intervened and managed to bring to Geneva her parents. Almost all other relatives of my mother disappeared in the Nazi extermination camps.

The General Difficulties of Daily Life.

We lived in a war economy. Supplies to Switzerland in raw materials, food and goods of every kind depended directly on the goodwill of Germany. All acts necessary for daily living, to buy what we needed to eat, to get dressed, to move, the gas and the electricity for cooking and heating, everything was rationed. Life in the cities was difficult. Potatoes were planted on all the arable land of parks and sports fields in towns and school children had to ‘bring home’ the harvests. I remember that I often had for my breakfast to eat cold potatoes instead of bread. But at least I had something to eat !

On the countryside, life was easier. Farmers were producing plentiful meat, eggs and wheat. They brought them on the so-called black market, selling their products at inflated prices to urban residents. On Sunday, my father used to go from time to time to a friend outside of the city, a baker, and brought back some fresh rolls, the same as before the war. He paid for them three times the official price.

My ‘participation’ in the war

Between 1941 and 1944, Switzerland, an island of peace in the midst of Nazi Europe, was the only chance of survival for Jews of occupied countries. Many refugees, often assisted by the French Resistance or by highly paid traffickers, attempted to cross the border from Geneva, which was heavily guarded by Swiss troops, generally hostile to refugees. Most were stopped at the border by the soldiers and had to return to France. Some, the lucky or the most skilled, managed to cross and were welcomed by Jewish organizations in Switzerland.

The rule was that any refugee who could be declared to the Swiss authorities at least 30 km from the border was no longer repressed and could stay in Switzerland. So we had to escort the refugees, usually by rail, to remote locations in Geneva at least that distance. The trick was to make them to take the train with one or more children from Geneva, who could pass for their children and who were their insurance in case of police control. I was one of those children and I am very proud of it.

The beginning of the end

In 1944, I followed closely the progress of the French and US armies in Italy on a large map on the wall of my room, with little flags that I moved every day.

June 6, I got up very early. It was the day the Allied troops landed in Normandy. This was the turning point of the war in Western Europe, and I put a new map on my wall, updating it every morning after the news of the night.

The last months of 1944 and spring of 1945 saw the allied advance to the Swiss border, the mobilization of the Swiss army to contain any German troops seeking to pass through Switzerland to avoid the Americans and the arrival of a flow of French refugees fleeing the war. I participated actively in the reception of these refugees, as a member of the scouts in charge of caring for the accommodation of children in the few weeks they remained in Switzerland

For those who have not lived through that period, it is difficult to imagine in what context we lived; survivors of a war ablaze all over Europe, amazed every day not to be invaded by German troops.

In summary, the history of Switzerland from 1939 to 1945 is a curious mixture of fierce determination of resistance and nifty efforts to conciliate the moods of the belligerents. Here what I found on Wikipedia :

“Switzerland was able to remain independent through a combination of military deterrence, concessions to Germany, and good fortune as larger events during the war delayed an invasion. Under General Henri Guisan, a massive mobilization of militia forces was ordered. The Swiss military strategy was changed from one of static defense at the borders to protect the economic heartland, to one of organised long-term attrition and withdrawal to strong, well-stockpiled positions high in the Alps known as the Reduit. Switzerland was an important base for espionage by both sides in the conflict and often mediated communications between the Axis and Allied powers.

Switzerland's trade was blockaded by both the Allies and by the Axis. Economic cooperation and extension of credit to the Third Reich varied according to the perceived likelihood of invasion and the availability of other trading partners. Concessions reached a peak after a crucial rail link through Vichy France was severed in 1942, leaving Switzerland completely surrounded by the Axis. Over the course of the war, Switzerland interned over 300,000 refugees and the International Red Cross, based in Geneva, played an important part during the conflict. Strict immigration and asylum policies as well as the financial relationships with Nazi Germany raised controversy but not until the end of the 20th century, carrying on to this day with some Swiss banks and entities still refusing to surrender the assets deposited by victims of Nazi persecution.

During the war, the Swiss Air Force engaged aircraft of both sides, shooting down 11 intruding Luftwaffe planes in May and June 1940, then forcing down other intruders after a change of policy following threats from Germany. Over 100 Allied bombers and their crews were interned during the war. During 1944–45, Allied bombers mistakenly bombed a few places in Switzerland, among which were the cities of Geneva, Schaffhausen, Basel and Zurich”.

Even as a young child, I was able to understand this situation and to support as well as possible all the Swiss people who were on the side of the allies and applauded their successes.

About the allied crews in Switzerland (see above) I have my own memories :

I was 15 years old. A lot of Flying Fortresses (B-17) came from England and bombed Italy. Each night, some of them, hit by the German Flak, landed on their way back in some places of my country, just to save the life of their crew. At the end of the war, there were several hundred planes ’stored’ in Switzerland, most US and GB, but also some Germans (among others, the first jet Me 262, ‘the Storm Bird’. This plane was so secret, that German forces tried to destroy it on its Swiss landing place by sending a group of saboteurs who were quickly captured.

The British and American crews, all young men, pilots, navigators, gun-men happy to escape the dangers of the war, were ‘confined’ in tourist’s hotels and had nothing to do except waiting safe the end of the war. My Father, in addition to his military activity, worked at the preproduction of a Swiss movie, called ‘The last chance’. It was the story of US war prisoners who escaped from Italy and arrived safe in Switzerland through the Alps. He has to select, among the US ‘guests’ ,the soldiers who could be actors in the movie.

We were in August, at the middle of the school holidays. I accompanied him on his travel from hotels to hotels, meeting the American candidates. It was my first experience in speaking another language than the English I learnt at school : ‘American slang’. I had even to translate it in ‘Oxford English’ for my father, the other members of the film-crew and for the Swiss officers.

Later, winter 1945-46, the Swiss Tourist Office organized special tours in Switzerland for the US soldiers who occupied Germany. About 20’000 soldiers could spend a free week as tourists at different places (cities on the edge of a lake, villages in the Alps), skiing and having fun in a peaceful country.

Their problem was the CASH. Spending holidays is expensive and I became partly the solution ! With friends the same age, instead going to school, we walked around the hotels, waiting until a soldier came out, ready to sell anything to get enough money for the bars and ‘pleasure girls’ in the hot districts of Geneva. My speaking knowledge (see above) was very useful. First, I made a lot of friends, and second I bought a lot of American cigarettes, condoms (very rare at this time), gloves and other kind of uniform clothes, which I sold back with benefit to students and teachers at school.

The soldiers asked also about ‘fine’ and cheap places in town. I couldn’t answer, so I made my first experiences as ‘Go-between’ and found the answers they needed through older friends from the very popular district where I lived. It was a very funny time and the early beginning of my ‘business life’.

In 1945 I was 16 years old. I was pretty shy about my bisexuality. Since my first experience with a boy, feeling the general hostility against the queers (the word ‘gay’ came much, much later), I looked rather after girls, with little success, never exceeding the level of first kisses. My titular girlfriend was the daughter of a colleague of my father and to my great regret, both parents saw us already engaged !

May 8, 1945, the day of the surrender of Germany, all young people of the town began as a sign of joy to march past through the streets of the city, waving French, English and American flags. I was there with two girls on either side of my arm, but I was particularly interested by the emergence at the front of the march of a group of young communists with very large flags of the USSR, much of the damn other participants, already ahead of the cold war and hostile to the communists.

Hitchhiking

I remember at the end of the war, all the young people my age were eager to travel throughout Europe, finally being free from the constraints of borders.
At that time, travel was easy, cheap and trains the use of widespread hitchhiking. People were still supportive of each other. It was enough to get to the roadside and remove the thumb pointing in the direction to take.

Depending on traffic, moment of the day and the impression that we gave to passing motorists, the wait was never very long. Sometimes, if we were lucky, the one who was willing to stop and take us on board, took us to our final destination. Otherwise, we parted good friends and started all over again with another motorist.

Thus, in summer 1946, I had the opportunity to visit the Mediterranean beaches between Marseille and Toulon, and especially to discover the "calanques" kinds of wild creeks close to Marseille, the perfect place to enjoy naked sun and sea tourism now invades the entire region and thousands of tourists flock there, while in 1946 the solitude (with two or more) was part of the fun.

But I really wanted to see Germany, see for myself the impact of defeat. The images of the extermination camps and the Nuremberg trial had led me to wonder how certain Germans, yet civilized people, had been able to accept without reacting the operations of extermination of gypsies, gays, the sick and elderly disabled, not to mention the Jews!

I wanted to go on the spot and if possible talk to the Germans of my age. So I started the road with a friend in the autumn 1946, hitchhiking across France and the Rheinland until the Dutch border, crossing the zones of occupation of French and British armies.

Three things particularly struck me: the ruined cities, the warm wellcometh of the Germans (we put small Swiss flags on our backpacks) and the willingness of the young Germans we met to hide their past.

We spent several weeks in Cologne, staying in a youth hostel, a former air raid shelter, where we met young French and English people like us, trying to understand the thoughts of young Germans. I didn't find then the answers to my questions. I was too young for that.

The end of high school

From 1945 to 1948, I finished high school (Latin, Greek, French) and passed with brio the final exams of high school, which open the doors of the university, not forgetting to work on mathematics, physics and English, branches essential to areas where I wanted to spend my future : the industrial research in electronics, an area then still limited to telephone and radio vacuum tube (the transistor will be invented only in 1947 and its introduction in Switzerland dates from 1955 ).

The start of my political activity.

Since the 30's, Geneva was divided into two parties: the traditional right party, conservative and close to the power of money, and the left party, partisan of the class struggle and ‘near the small people’. Leftist intellectuals were full of idealism and believed in a happy future, pending the reconciliation of all parts of the working classes through the application of the principles of Communism. And I was certainly a young leftist intellectual !

Some friends dragged me with them and I became a member of the Communist Youth. Not for long, but enough to unmask the pitfalls of Stalinism, which made me quickly leave these groups.

Where to go for my studies ?

I had a choice for my graduate studies between two universities: the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (SFIT) in Zurich or a similar school 60 km from home. I choose the first of course, wishing to put as great a distance as possible between my parents and me. No longer living with them, I could find freedom and independence.

What is clear for U.S. students was not so for us in Switzerland. Over an area slightly larger than the state of Massachusetts, we had a choice between 9 major universities without having to move away from home.

The choice of Zurich still had one drawback: the requirement as a SFIT rule for a prior work experience of 8 months in a large industrial company, receiving the same training as a graduated mechanic or fitter, but in 8 months instead in 4 years.

And so, from November 1948 till June 1949, I spent 200 days of eight hours in a factory; first in the apprentice workshop, then in various manufacturing and assembling workshops; helping to build high power transformers and learning the hard side of manual work. I found new friends, workers and foremen, who helped me a lot to understand and appreciate the ‘working class’.

As for my evenings and my nights, it was a different story.

Enrolled in FIT, I was able to participate in the activities of a fraternity from the Geneva University, composed mainly of students of literature. I became the special friend of two former students, ‘retired’ members of the fraternity, a well-known lawyer and the head of the Faculty of literature.

We spent nights and nights browsing the books in their libraries and discussing literature with them, emptying as each member of the fraternity many glasses of fine (and expensive) French red wines (some from very good origin and years).

Instead of participating in the discussions, I preferred often to travel around the ‘hell’ of the library, the part where pornographic and erotic books were located. This is how I found very wonderful drawn pictures, BW and in colors. They were hard and detailed ‘Luxury and Lust’ illustrations, showing straights and gays people in many positions. The lawyer was a renowned collector of erotic works from the 18th century to the present and his library was famous . 25 years later, when I traveled to Paris, I found the same books in antique shops and tried to buy them in memory of this period, but they were way too expensive for me. But it does not matter. I much prefer the reality instead of pictures !