DarkestFey

I agree with Joann, jerks and idiots are a universal problem. I am sorry you were put in the position. Please don't let the minority dictate how you feel.

This is so beautiful. I love the sensory elements you used to transmit the emotional ones. Excellently done.

This was excellent. I loved the rushed tone and I could feel his anxiety. One notable issue in the last sentence and a few smaller ones - "Riley tried to keep his eyes open and tell them that he was going to be alright after he finds Kyle but those voices died down after a while and it all went blank." You switched tenses in the middle. It reads a little smoother as "Riley tried to keep his eyes open and tell them he was going to be alright after he found Kyle, but those voices died down after awhile and it all went blank." (I changes the minor issues in the edit as well.) BTW, this sentence stood out so much because the rest of the story read really well. Excellent job building atmosphere, always one of the most significant things an author can do. I look forward to reading the rest. DF

Excellent job. I thought your character flow and the progression of their relationship was well done, especially for the limited amount of space. Thank you for writing this, as always it is a delight to read your work.

That was intense, beautiful and sad all in one breath. I love the dreamy surreal language of the story. It gave added weight to the speaker and his state of being. The back story leading up to the accident felt familiar and touching. The ending with its ramifications of how one life can change everything spoke true. Excellent job.

This is so typical of businesses today. Truly an example of how nothing really changes.

It is so easy to see the progression of youth to man, the obligations of society on a young man who wanted no more than to retain his youth. We lack that today. I am not in favor of the draft, however there is something to be said about obligation and conscription.

Thank you so much for writing your story. I really appreciate your history. As a student in the DODs school system, we learned a version of what happened in Europe, however I have never been so ignorant as to think that was the only story. Thank you for telling a different perspective. As a child of the "cold war" everyone I knew was we should bomb Russia, I personally had the opinion of they are just like us, trying to raise their families and survive. You validate that point so pointedly. I honestly hope that you publish this story and when you do please let me know so I can purchase a copy.

So intense and personal. Although terrifying, it is also exciting and captivating. Thank you so much for sharing the very personal chapter in your life. Sincerely CLA

I love this. I was born in Nuremberg Germany and have an intense fascination with European history. And as a fellow Red Sea Pedestrian, I feel the intense survival stories of our people are a monument to their dedication and survival. Excellent beginning to a family history.

Wow...you have done such an amazing job of implanting the desperation and raw emotions in your world. I love the way your main character is reacting, responding to the people in his world. I also love how you filled in the blanks for why the world became the way it is. Modern technology backfiring is always one of my favorite appocoyptic scenarios. I really look forward to reading more. Congrats on creating an amazing piece so far.

This is really good. Although not a new concept, your voice is very original and you give the story real depth with an excellent description of what has led up to the where we will find the protaganist. Your character development so far is excellent and you leave us genuinely concerned for the main character, Noah.

This is really good. It isn't often that you find real sci-fi in bl. I like the relationships you are setting up so far with Daniel and his mother (Madame President) and the Navy Admiral Demitri. There were a couple of times that I felt you could have fluffed out the paragraph to make them feel less abrupt but on the whole I really enjoyed it. Excellent Job and Keep Writing.

“Gah can you believe how fast these guys have climbed the charts, I swear. Yesterday no one knew who they were. Today it’s like…Boo yah boy! And what a name Crimson Phallus, can you imagine asking your mom for their CD at Christmas! Ha ha ha… Yeah I don’t think so. But tonight we have them here, hidden away in a secret location for a one night only appearance. If you want to go and you’re over twenty-one, be caller number twenty-three. And here is the latest from ‘The Killers’…” I sat in the rad