Who...Are You? - 1. Who...Are You?

Who…Are You?

 

I was walking down the hallway to my locker with my best friend, Kevin Lafferty – first hour had just ended. Oh yeah, I’m Jake McCallister. I’m a junior who plays football here at Richardson High – top linebacker on the team! Kevin and I have been best buds since we were real little. We first met out on the playground in kindergarten class. What can I say? We just clicked. We’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since – it feels like we have, anyway. He’s the first guy I ever…oh yeah, before I forget – I’m also gay.

It’s weird, but nobody really cares one way or the other who’s gay and who’s not. There’s actually several guys here at school who are out – some of them actually play on a sports team like I do. That’s not to say that everyone’s okay with it, but nobody makes a big deal over anyone being gay here. I guess you could say I helped a lot with that – a couple months ago, right after I came out at school, I was out at the park one day when old Mrs. Washington, who’s probably the most loved woman here in town, slipped and fell on the sidewalk by one of the benches. I rushed over to her and asked her what I could do to help her – it ended with me calling for help and having her taken to the hospital. Now, even though I got along with most everyone at school before I came out, a lot of people didn’t really know what to think of me after – that is, until what happened at the park. Word of my good deed spread pretty quickly, and most of the ones who were thinking of turning their backs on me, kind of changed their minds when they realized I was still a good guy. A few of the jocks who are now “out” at school were like that – they admitted that they didn’t think people would be cool with a bunch of guys who played sports who liked other guys “that way”, but they got over that once people started to accept me again.

Kevin’s different, though. Kevin was the first guy I came out to. That’s the thing with Kevin and I – we’ve never really kept secrets from each other. Kevin used to be afraid to sleep over at my house when we were little – he was afraid of wetting the bed because of a medical condition he would later have corrected. We used to have a friend named Geoff Petrovski, who started picking on Kevin when he found out about Kev’s condition. One day in fifth grade, I finally had enough, and beat Geoff up pretty badly. You’d think he’d take the hint and back off after that, but no – he’s continued to harass Kev and I ever since, though by now we just kind of shrug it off. Geoff’s been one of the guys who are most homophobic at school, but only a few people really pay any attention to him.

With Kevin, I was real nervous about coming out to him, but I think deep down I knew that he’d be okay with it. He also knows that I’d never do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, either. Yeah, I do think he’s attractive – he’s got a decent body, with good definition in his arms, legs, chest, and a flat stomach. He could probably pass for a baseball player if he wanted to, but he doesn’t play. I’ve never really thought of him as anything but a friend, though – and he’s had a couple of girlfriends, anyway.

So yeah, like I was saying, we were walking down the hallway to my locker. I open my locker and this note falls out. I picked it up, and this is what was printed on it:

 

 

HEY, BIG BOY – I’VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU. ;)

SIGNED, A GUY WHO TOTALLY DIGS YOU. :)

P.S. I BET YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHO THIS IS. I’LL GIVE YOU TILL V-DAY TO MAKE ME YOURS.

YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM ME AGAIN REAL SOON…

 

 

Ummm…wow. Talk about weird!

Kevin took one look at the note and couldn’t help laughing.

“Hey!” I gave him a playful shove.

“Somebody likes you…’big boyyyyy’!”

“Shut up!”

“You gotta admit, it’s pretty funny that some guy would leave you a note like this.”

“Who’d just put a love note in my locker though? It’s not like there’s anybody out there who doesn’t know I’m gay, who’d leave me a note instead of just asking me out?”

Yeah, I’m also single. I know what you’re thinking – I’m gay, I play football, and I’m not going out with anyone? To tell you the truth…I haven’t felt like asking anyone out even since I came out. Even though there’s quite a few available guys, I…I don’t know who to ask out. Most of the guys I know who are gay are at least attractive, and a few of them are even fuckin’ hot! I don’t really want to play around though, I want to find a guy who I can get to know and actually date before I’ll go and have sex with him. Seeing as there’s so many good-looking guys, though…I can’t decide who I want to ask. I thought maybe one of them would ask me out, but so far…no dice.

“It’s gotta be…a sign.” Kevin said, all dramatic like.

“A sign?”

“That God wants you to hook up with a guy already!”

Playfully shoving him again, I replied, “Quit being an idiot. Who would leave me a note like this rather than just ask me out?”

“I dunno! Maybe it’s one of them scrawny guys that goes to GSA all the time.”

“Come on Kev, be nice.” The president of our school’s GSA, another junior named Tyler McDonough, asked me if I’d be interested in joining after I came out. I wasn’t really interested in making a big deal over every little thing, but most of the people at the first meeting I went to seemed pretty nice, and several of them told me I was real brave for standing up and choosing to come out to everyone. Tyler and I didn’t really hang out much, but I thought it was cool of him to step up and lead the group. Most of the guys who went to meetings were somewhat smaller and weren’t really the “jock” type, though I’d heard that a guy named Eric who’s on the baseball team hasn’t missed a single meeting. I go to a meeting every now and then.

“Can you imagine one of the big football or basketball players leaving you a love note in your locker?”

“No, but have you seen any of them ask me out, either?”

“Naw, I guess not.”

I thought about it all the rest of the day. Valentine’s Day was a month away, but had no idea who my mystery “locker love note guy” could be.

*****

I’d put the locker note out of my mind by the end of the week, but come the following Monday, there it was, another one:

 

 

YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME? I’M LIKE A NINJA – I’M EVERYWHERE AND I’M NOWHERE.

I CAN SEE YOU DON’T HAVE A CLUE WHO I AM JAKEY. I COULD BE A JOCK, I COULD BE A NERD, I COULD BE ANYBODY! DON’T WORRY – YOU’LL FIGURE OUT WHO I AM SOON ENOUGH. JUST DON’T THINK I’M GONNA MAKE IT THAT EASY FOR YOU. ;)

THEY SAY GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT – AND YOU ARE SO WORTH THE WAIT, BIG BOY. SO LET’S HAVE SOME FUN, EH? TRY TO SEE IF YOU CAN’T FIND ME BEFORE I LEAVE YOU MY NEXT NOTE.

SIGNED, THE NINJA WHO STILL TOTALLY DIGS YOU. :)

REMEMBER – I’M EVERYWHERE!

 

 

Jakey? Really? I shook my head for a moment.

Kevin simply laughed at my reaction, then he leaned over my shoulder to look at the note. “Ha…this guy says he’s ‘EVERYWHERE’, huh? He must really be trying to mess with you, bro.”

“I guess. What does he mean, ‘try to see if you can’t find me before I leave you my next note’?”

“Guess maybe you gotta ask around,” Kevin shrugged.

“What? I’m not gonna just walk up to a guy and ask him if he’s been leaving little love notes in my locker!”

“You got a better idea?”

I crumpled the note in my fist…and then paused to think about it again. “This guy says he wants to have some fun? Let’s keep our eyes open, see if we find anything funny. Maybe we can catch this guy in the act.”

Kevin shrugged again. “Whatever, man. I just think it wouldn’t hurt for you to ask a guy or two.”

“I dunno. Come on, we’re gonna be late!” We had a history test waiting for us.

GSA meetings were on Mondays, but I didn’t feel like going to this one, because tomorrow I had an advanced algebra test, and I wanted to study for it. I wasn’t exactly a whiz in the class, but it wasn’t my worst subject, either – that was science. I was having a real tough time wrapping my head around all the chemical formulas my class was having to study right now.

I was halfway home, and then I realized it. “Oh…shit! My book!” I had to go back for my algebra book that was still in my locker.

When I got there, I found Eric Adamson waiting for me. Eric is the guy from the baseball team that goes to every GSA meeting. He’s about the same size as Kevin is, though Eric’s got better definition because of his baseball training. I’m an inch taller than both of them, though – 5’10 to their 5’9. Eric also likes to have his black hair buzz-cut, which I do have to admit looks really hot on him.

“Hey.”

“Hey Eric, what’s up?”

“GSA’s looking for volunteers for their Candy-Grams. I told Tyler I’d ask you.” Candy-Grams was a Valentine’s Day fundraiser for the group, a way that people could send secret valentines to each other, which I thought was silly.

“Uh…I dunno, man.”

“Oh, come on…do it for me, then. How about you sign up for when I’m there? We really need this to go well, man.” The group was trying to raise money for an upcoming conference for students from other GSAs in the area. From what I could remember of Tyler having talked about it, people could get all kinds of ideas from each other and try to help each other out in case a school wasn’t being so supportive. I wasn’t interested in going, but I did think it was a neat thing to try to go to.

Seeing the pleading look in Eric’s eyes, I decided I couldn’t just leaving him hanging. “Oh, all right. What time?”

“Wednesday and Thursday lunch next week.”

“That’s fine, I can be there.”

“Oh…thanks, man! You’re real great.” He grabbed my hand for a handshake and pulled me in for a “jock”-style hug.

“Yeah, yeah…you’re welcome.” I then turned to finally open my locker to get my algebra book – and all of a sudden, I thought of the two notes I’d received.

“Hey, Eric?”

“Yeah?”

“Um…you ever thought of asking me out?”

He laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself, man – you football guys, you’re not my type.”

“Really?” I reached up and pulled out the two notes, which I’d left there just for the hell of it, and showed them to him. “So you didn’t, uh…leave me these cute little love notes for me to find?” He read them, then burst out laughing.

“No man, it wasn’t me.”

“Oh.”

“Is that why you’re wondering why I don’t ask you out?”

“Well…kinda. I mean, I guess I did wonder why you didn’t ask me even once since I came out.”

“I thought guys would be lining up to ask you out, especially once you became the big hero.”

I shrugged.

“You think maybe they think you’re too good for them to ask you out?”

“I dunno. But, I gotta run, I’ve got an algebra test tomorrow that I want to study for.”

“Alright, man. I’ll see you tomorrow. And thanks again for helping us out!”

“No problem. See you!”

Okay, so it wasn’t Eric. I started wondering about the other guys at school – but I couldn’t get my mind to focus on any one of them to think if any of them were dating someone or not. Just as well, I guess – algebra was calling my name.

*****

Thursday would bring me quite a surprise. Waiting for me at my locker was another guy – this time it was Mike Matherston, a swimmer. We didn’t really talk much, but he wasn’t bad looking, either. Mike’s a couple inches shorter, standing 5’7.

“Hi, Jake.”

“Hey Mike, what’s up? You need something?”

“Well, ummm…” He looked really nervous, so I eased up my gaze on him a bit. Though, now that I was standing closer, I took closer notice of the v-neck t-shirt he was wearing and his swimmer’s haircut. Damn…he had a really cute look going for him. I hope he didn’t notice my little shiver just now.

I was going to say something, when he continued. “…I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend.”

“No. Why, what’s up?”

“Well……I was wondering if maybe you might want to go see a movie tomorrow night.”

“Well, ah…sure,” I shrugged in surprise. “What movie you want to go see?”

“Uh…”

“It don’t matter, we can pick one tomorrow.”

“Okay. You want to meet up, say around seven?”

“Yeah, seven’s alright.”

“Alright, well I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you.” With that, he walked off.

I stood there for a moment watching him walk away. Okay…I might’ve taken a look down at his ass, I couldn’t help it. I snapped myself out of it and then realized – damn, somebody finally asked me out!

I couldn’t blame Mike for being nervous just asking me out – excited as I was as seven approached on Friday night, I was just as nervous waiting for him.

I decided to wear this purple-and-gray turtleneck sweater that I had, along with some nice jeans. The sweater wasn’t something I wore all that much, but…I felt like I wanted to look nice for him, so when I was going through all the clothes I had and saw it hanging, I figured, “aw what the hell”, and pulled it out.

As I saw him walk up, I thought to myself that he must’ve had the same idea, because he was wearing a turtleneck sweater and jeans, too – only, his sweater was two shades of blue. Watching him walk up towards me, I wondered how he was able to look so adorable with every outfit he wore. I could feel myself getting more and more nervous as he walked up to me.

“Hey.” I had my hand on his back up by his shoulder, and his closer hand was resting on my arm. I looked right into his eyes for a moment, and I just had this feeling that I’d be dealing with my nerves all night.

Neither one of us said a word for a moment, until I decided to break the ice.

“I……I really like how that sweater looks on you.” Did I mention yet that I was nervous?

Mike smiled almost instantly. “Thanks.” Then he blushed, and I smiled back and rubbed his shoulder. “You look great too.”

Then he started to move even closer, but I stopped him right there. “Whoa, whoa…easy, there! Let’s go inside.”

Mike asked me if I knew what movie I wanted to see as we walked towards the counter. We both decided on Sherlock Holmes. Then, when it was time to pay for tickets, we both reached back to pull out our wallets.

“Oh!”

“Er, ah…”

“Did you want to buy the tickets?”

“Well, I, uh…”

The girl behind the counter laughed at the scene we were making. “Hahaha…you two are just too cute.” I think we both blushed at that one.

“One please, Sherlock Holmes,” I said. Mike echoed what I said.

“This you guys’ first date?” The girl asked us.

Mike answered, “Yeah.”

“Aw…well I hope you like the movie.” We thanked her and went on to get snacks.

I don’t really know how, but after our moment at the counter, both of us just kind of relaxed around each other. We made small talk with each other before the movie started; I learned that swimming was Mike’s dream. He had his heart set on going to the Olympics one day, which I thought was really cool. It made me feel kind of embarrassed, though, because I haven’t really decided what I really want to go on to do. I like playing football, but I don’t know if I want to go on and play for a pro team. I kind of just feel like I want to be doing something where I feel like I’m making a difference, you know? I didn’t really know how to explain it any better to Mike, but it didn’t matter, as the movie began to start right then.

I put my arm on the armrest between us after we polished off the popcorn. Almost immediately, I felt Mike’s arm on top of mine. I turned and looked at him, and all I could see was a bit of a guilty smile on his face. I’ll bet there was a blush to go with that smile, too. I felt his arm relax as I turned back to watch the movie, and he slipped his fingers in between mine. After a couple of minutes, I turned back to look at him again. He turned to look at me just as I was pulling my gaze away, and we both smiled. I then felt him squeeze my hand with his fingers still mixed with mine.

As the movie went on, we both went kind of back-and-forth, squeezing each other’s hand a bit with our hands still locked as they were before. Once, he squeezed a bit hard.

I closed my eyes and hummed. “Mmmmmmmm.”

When I opened my eyes, I turned and looked at him again. He had a bit of a worried look on his face, so I gently pulled my arm out from under his and gently stroked the sides of his face. That made him giggle, and we locked our hands together again, this time side by side on the armrest.

Eventually, though, the movie had to end. As we got up to leave our seats, I couldn’t resist the urge to keep holding Mike’s hand, so we walked up the aisle and out of the theater hand-in-hand. As we passed by the ticket counter, the girl spotted us holding hands and gave us a “thumbs up”. We both laughed and returned her “thumbs up”. She blew us both a kiss as we turned to leave.

Outside in front of the theater, we both turned to look at each other.

“I…I don’t know about you, Mike, but I don’t think I want to go home just yet,” I said.

“You want to go sit in the park for a little bit?” Pinewood Park was only a couple of blocks away from the theater.

“Sure.” And off we went, still hand-in-hand. We talked about the movie as we walked. I thought it was okay, but there were better ones out there. Mike didn’t seem to really get into it at all.

We found a bench and sat down, facing each other.

Mike spoke up first. “I had a real good time with you tonight, Jake.”

“I liked going out with you, too.” Moving closer, I put an arm around him. I felt him tense up just a little bit, but the expression on his face didn’t change. There was silence for a moment. “What is it?”

“I…I’m real nervous.”

“About what?”

“Well I, I like you but I, I……I…”

“You ever had a boyfriend, Mike?”

He turned his gaze down. “No.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “I’ve never gone on a date with a guy till tonight.”

“Awww.” I pulled him even closer. Mike put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his left arm around just above my waist.

“I only knew I was gay right before I came out at school,” Mike said. That had been only last month, right before Christmas break. After he said that, it dawned on me – he’d only just now worked up the courage to ask me out. Inside, though, he was still really scared. I was comfortable with myself by now, but Mike wasn’t quite there yet. He needed time to get used to being gay and out. I could feel my heart go out to him right then. I closed my eyes, wanting to just sit there for a few minutes and take in this moment.

He began to speak up again. “I…”

“Shhhhhhhhh.” I reached around with my hand and touched a finger to his lips. He then remained still with his head on my shoulder. I leaned in a bit towards him. We remained still like that, holding onto each other, for maybe about a minute or so.

I then opened my eyes and turned to look at him, just as he did the same. I could feel an urge, a desire to kiss him come over me.

“May I?” I asked. He didn’t give an answer.

As I leaned in a bit, he did the same. I could see his eyes close a bit, so I followed suit and slowly leaned forward. We were lucky to find each other’s lips without stumbling, and slowly, gently…we pressed them together. I could feel a flutter as we kept our lips together for a few seconds. I think I could feel that he wanted every moment of our kiss. It felt to me like I was kissing someone I really cared about, but…I dunno, it just seemed like there was a little something that might’ve been missing. I was already starting to think that Mike wasn’t a kind of guy I wanted for a boyfriend, at least not right now…but I think our kiss made that even clearer to me.

As we pulled back from our kiss, he smiled, and I smiled too. Even if Mike wasn’t going to be a boyfriend, I didn’t feel bad at all about kissing him.

“Would you believe that was my first kiss?” I asked him. I saw his eyes get big for like a split-second. “Really?” I confessed that tonight was my first date with another guy, too. When he asked why I’d been out for a few months but hadn’t gone on a date, I explained to him how I couldn’t make up my mind about who to ask on a date, and how no one else had yet asked me, either. As he pulled back to take in everything I’d said, I reached out and pulled him back into a full hug with both arms. After I broke my hug, I asked Mike if he thought he was ready to have a boyfriend.

He got excited right away, but then he paused, like he was thinking about it. “I…I don…I don’t know if I’m ready just yet,” he finally admitted.

I told him that I thought he had guts to be able to ask me out, even though he was still adjusting to being gay and out. Then for some reason, I suddenly thought of the two love notes I’d gotten.

Mike noticed my sudden pause and asked, “What is it?”

“Uh…nothing, I…you might think it’s kind of dumb.” I then told him about the notes. He laughed.

“Guess I’m not the only one who wants to ask you out,” he said.

“Oh, so you didn’t write them?”

“No, it wasn’t me. Should I try that, though?”

“If you really want to,” I replied with a laugh. Then I added, “Don’t rush it though, you’ll be able to ask another guy out when you’re totally ready to have a boyfriend.” He nodded.

At that point, I started to think it was time to call it a night and put an end to our date. Mike agreed, if a bit hesitantly. Before we split up for the night, I made a promise to come see him in action at his next swim meet.

“I-I’d really like that,” he replied, and he gave me one last hug. A “Goodnight”, followed by a “see you at school on Monday”, and we were both off.

Before I drifted off to sleep in bed that night, I lay there thinking back over our date. I decided I did want to keep Mike as a friend and get to know him a little better, at least.

*****

I told Kevin about my date the next day. He seemed a little bit disappointed when I told him I wasn’t thinking of having Mike as a boyfriend, but thought it might be cool to have him as another friend. We hung up with plans to hang out later that day.

I arrived over at Kevin’s house only to find him eager to get out. Apparently his dad was getting on his case about getting out and dating once again. Towards the end of our freshman year, Kevin found out that Felicia Silvers, the girl he’d been going out with all year, was cheating on him with – get this: Geoff Petrovski. Apparently there was something about the way Geoff was such a rebellious “bad boy” that she decided she really liked. After Kevin had dumped her, though, Geoff made it clear that the only reason he was ever interested in her was to get at Kevin. She tried to come crawling back, but Kevin wasn’t about to forgive her – he figured, who else would come along that she’d decide she liked better? Still, Kevin was in a pretty bad funk over the whole thing up until school let out for the summer. He would end up going away to visit one of his aunts who lived in Florida for a month, and he felt a whole lot better when he came back. He hasn’t had a real serious girlfriend since then, though.

Kevin and I decided to head down to the school to shoot some hoops to pass the time. For a few years now, Richardson High has opened its gymnasium for what they called, “Sports Saturdays”. Kids of all ages could come in and play a different sport of choice. This Saturday, it was basketball. Kevin and I usually only went here on Saturday if we were bored out of our minds and couldn’t think of anything better to do – and that was definitely our mood was we walked up to the school.

We walked into the gym, and almost instantly, one of the guys already playing hoops caught my eye – Vince Torres. Vince was a guy with medium brown skin and jet-black hair, and a guy who I never really knew what to think of. He had a better body than many of the guys who played sports at school, yet Vince himself wasn’t on any of our teams. I’d once asked him about it, and he’d told me, “I play for the teams I want to play for.” In just the past six months, Vince had had both a girlfriend and a boyfriend – though not at the same time. From what I’d heard, Vince was a guy who just loved to dance – I don’t mean just the kind of dancing you’d find at high school dances, but other kinds too, like salsa dancing, something called “house” dancing, and even…break dancing. I hadn’t heard that he was going out with anyone right now, though.

Still…Vince seemed like a guy who had sort of a “mysterious” side. Could he be the guy leaving me the “mystery” notes? Hmmmm…

“Hey Jake, you playing with me or not?” I’d been so caught up in my thoughts that I’d forgotten about shooting hoops with Kevin.

“You go on ahead…I’ll join you in a little bit.” I wanted to stand by and watch Vince a little longer. Kevin shrugged and ran off to join a game forming on the other side of the gym.

I stood off to the sidelines, not so close to the game Vince was in that I could get in the way, but close enough that I could watch him in action. Just my luck, though…the ball soon got loose and drifted across the gym floor – right over to my feet. I picked it up, just as Vince came running over.

“Hey.” I passed him the ball. “Thanks, man. You should, ah – you should come join us.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “Naw…you guys finish up.”

“Suit yourself, man.”

They must have been close to finishing, because it seemed like only a couple of minutes later, their game broke up. I could barely hear them asking who wanted to stick around for another game, but I noticed that Vince chose not to join them. Instead, I watched as he ran over to an almost hidden corner of the gym. Then, he walked back the way he came with another ball – only, he turned and headed over to me.

“What do you think about a little…one on one?” He asked me. One look at his shirtless, sweaty body and my mind was already made up, but I turned to see what Kevin was up to for just a moment. Apparently he had the same idea as well, because he was looking over at Vince and I. One of the other guys in his game yelled at him to get back in the game, however, so I turned back to Vince.

“You’re on.” I pulled my shirt off and threw it to the side.

I learned very quickly that Vince wasn’t an easy guy to play b-ball against. He was very swift on his feet, and I wasn’t really the best of shooters anyway. We’d agreed to play “21”, and he beat me by quite a few shots. After the game was over, he ran off to grab his shirt, which was on the other side of the gym. I carried the ball over to the corner where the ball bin was. I was pretty well out of breath, which was out-of-the-ordinary for me. I dumped the ball in the bin and paused for a moment to pull myself together.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my arm. “Guess I really wore you out, huh?” A voice behind me…it was Vince. I moved to turn around, only for Vince to tighten his grip a little bit. Then, he slipped his other arm around my waist – what was he doing?

I then heard his voice right in my ear. “You know, ah…I saw you watching me earlier. I think you liked what you were seeing.”

I felt my face go hot as he kept talking. “You know, ah…you’re a pretty cool dude. I think you got something about you I might want to have around.” With his left arm, he let go of my arm and draped it around me, resting his hand on my chest. Then he started rubbing it up and down. “Mmmmmmm…yeah.” He pressed himself closer to me. “I think I want to see some of this a little more often.” I could feel a growing erection behind me, and I backed up towards him. He pulled his other arm from around my waist and put his hand on my thigh. “Ha…yeah.” I could hear heat in his voice by now.

Then, all of a sudden, Vince pulled his hands off me and I could feel him step back away from me. I turned around quickly, and he had a silly grin on his face.

“Just giving you…a little something to remember me by.” That confused me, but he cut me off before I could say anything.

“I gotta run right now, but, ah…I’ll be seeing you around sometime. Jake.” Now that surprised me. Vince and I didn’t really know each other, so how did he know who I was?

All I could really do was stare dumbly as he ran off and exited the gym. I walked out of the corner to find Kevin running over toward me.

“You ready to go, man? I’m done for the day.”

“Y-yeah. I’m ready, let’s go.” I pulled my shirt back on.

“You alright, Jake?”

“Yeah…yeah, I’m cool.”

“What was up with you and…mister eye candy, over there?”

“Vince? I’ll tell you on the way, man. Let’s go.” And we left.

*****

By Monday, I was wishing that I hadn’t told Kevin anything. He teased me to what seemed like no end – he especially liked calling me a “Romeo”. Only when I began to turn the tables on him, pointing out that he hadn’t even gone on a date in a few months, did he finally back off.

I was spinning the combination of my locker when I felt a pat on my back.

“How’s my new favorite ball player?” Damn…Vince didn’t waste any time, did he?

“Hey.”

“You alright, man?”

“It’s nothing.” I told Vince about Kevin’s teasing me – he just laughed as I opened my locker, only to find a slip of paper fall out.

Just great, another note from my mystery man. This one read:

 

WELL WELL WELL, YOU’VE BEEN A BIT OF A BUSY BOY, HAVEN’T YOU?

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I’LL ONLY SHOW UP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. GO AHEAD AND TRY TO FIND ME ANYWAY, THOUGH – MAYBE YOU’LL GET LUCKY! ;)

SIGNED, MR. MYSTERIOUS GUY WHO STILL TOTALLY DIGS YOU. :)

P.S. I’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU, BIG BOY…

 

 

Vince chuckled when I showed him the note. “Guess I’m not the only one who likes ya, huh?”

“What, you didn’t leave me this?”

“No man, it wasn’t me. I don’t leave no cute little notes like this, I just come after who I want.”

“Oh.” Damn – I think I was actually disappointed for a minute there.

Vince noticed me become lost in thought. “You got any idea who this might be?”

“I dunno, you tell me.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what. You figure out who your little ‘mystery man’ here is, then when you do, you come find me.”

What was with this guy? He had me confused all over again.

“Look, ah…I like you, and you know I like you – but I can tell you want to find this guy. And I can tell you won’t be able to stop thinking about this guy till you find out who he is. I want a guy who’s only really thinking about me.”

Now Vince was making sense. He was dead right – even if another guy like Mike came right up and asked me out on a date, I’d still be wondering if he was the mystery note writer. I couldn’t blame Vince for not wanting to compete with that.

“Well if you really like me like you say you do, you could help me find this guy a little faster.”

Vince just shrugged. “Sorry man, I dunno what to tell you. I don’t come down this hallway too often.”

“Aw…okay.” Now I really couldn’t hide my disappointment.

“I’ll keep an eye out for you – see if I catch anyone putting notes in, how’s that?”

I shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll see you, man – and remember, come find me once you find out who this guy is.” He then winked at me. “See ya.”

“See ya.” Well…back to the old, drawing board, I guess.

*****

Monday went downhill in a hurry, with the announcement in science class that we were having a test over the chemical formulas at the end of the week. Well, that was just great. I was still struggling with them, and now knowing that I had a looming test over them made it feel that much worse.

I was explaining my frustrations to Eric on Wednesday as we were in the midst of the GSA’s Candy-Grams fundraiser.

“I think Tyler’s got that same teacher. He’s acing his science class, maybe he can help you study.”

“I can help who study?” As if somebody had given him a cue, Tyler walked up to our table. Tyler was a couple of inches shorter than me, but not quite as short as Mike was. He had dirty blond, highlighted hair and thick-rimmed glasses, but the glasses didn’t keep him from being a nice guy to look at. He filled out the clothes he was wearing pretty well without looking like they were clinging to his body. Okay, I usually saw him wearing tight jeans, but there were girls I usually saw wearing jeans even tighter than his.

Tyler was also the guy who played a part in my coming out at school, though we didn’t even know each other at the time. Through the GSA, he pushed to have October 11 recognized for being National Coming Out Day. His idea was that if students had the courage to speak up about being gay or bisexual or being supportive of someone who was gay or bisexual, other students would be more understanding once they knew others who were or even were friends with students who were. Many of those who were in the GSA were already totally out or had several friends who they were out to, and most of these students were the ones who took part in Coming Out Day. I was one of only a few who weren’t already in the GSA who spoke up and “came out”. I read information that was posted about it about a week before that day, and I made up my mind that I didn’t want to hide who I was anymore. Our school’s football coach wasn’t thrilled about it at first, but it was mostly because I’d suddenly “come out” without any warning. He gave me props for my courage after I explained why I did it, and made it clear to the team that there was no room for anyone who would now hate me because I was gay and would put that hate ahead of our team’s unity. I think the rest of the school was surprised by my sudden “coming out”, but like I’ve said already, they eventually realized that I wasn’t really any different now than I’d been before.

I went to the first GSA meeting after Coming Out Day because I wanted to thank them, and Tyler, for giving me the chance to stand up and admit out loud that I was gay. I stuck around for the whole meeting, probably because I was curious about the group more than anything else. Tyler and I definitely became friends, but we weren’t really that close, mostly because we just sort of had different circles of friends that we hung out with.

Whoa, okay – got a little off-track there for a minute. Back to my story…

Eric was about to say something, but I cut in first. “I…I’ve got a test on chemical formulas on Friday, and I’m having a hell of a time keeping track of them. Eric said he thinks you’ve got Mr. Stassen too, that’s who I’ve got.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got him for science too. You want me to help you study those? I could help you figure them out by Friday, they’re easy.”

Now I looked at him, almost pleading. “Could you? … I don’t want to fail this, science is already my worst class.”

“Yeah, I can help you out. You want to come over tomorrow after school?”

I blinked. “You want me to come over, to your house?”

“Yeah, is…is that alright?”

“Ah…” I paused.

After a few seconds, Tyler replied, “I could come over if you want.”

I shook my head briefly, like I was “snapping out of it”. What was I doing feeling awkward about this? “No, that’s alright Tyler…I’ll come over tomorrow.”

“Okay. You want to meet me right about here tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

We then chatted a bit more as he asked how the fundraiser was going. We’d had a couple students, and even a female teacher buy Candy-Grams, but it had gotten quiet at our table up until Tyler walked up. He then turned and headed off to lunch. I don’t know what had come over me, but I couldn’t resist watching him as he walked away.

“You sure it’s chemical formulas you want him to help you study, Jake?”

I turned to look at Eric, and he had a smirk on his face. I gave him a shove. He just laughed and said, “You’re lucky we got a fire extinguisher right here, cause we’ll need it after the hole you were burning in Tyler’s butt.”

“I was not just staring at his butt!”

“Oh, so you were lookin’ at him up and down. I see.”

I opened my mouth to reply, and then closed it again, as I couldn’t think of anything to say. I closed my eyes and turned my head downward, feeling the heat of embarrassment right then and wishing I could disappear.

I then felt Eric slap me on the back. “I’m only messin’ with ya, Jake. I don’t know if Tyler really wants to go out with anybody.”

That got my attention. “Why do you say that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I just never hear him talk about it.”

“You hang out with him much?”

“Sometimes.”

“Well why don’t you ask him out then?”

“Hey don’t turn it back on me! I…” I spotted a couple of girls approaching our table right that second, so I quickly grabbed Eric’s arm to shut him up. We decided to let the subject of Tyler drop the rest of lunchtime after they left.

After lunch was over, I briefly wondered why I was acting awkward about it earlier. I pushed aside the thought that I was attracted to him. Sure, I thought he had an attractive body, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m flat out attracted to him…

…does it?

*****

The next day, I caught a ride with Tyler and his mom Cynthia. I learned that both of his parents were nurses – his dad Eddie specialized in elderly care, and right now he and his sister were actually living with his mother, Tyler’s grandmother Audrey, who lived an hour away. Audrey had terminal cancer, and both Eddie and his sister, Tyler’s aunt Betsy, were fairly sure that she didn’t have much time left, so they were also trying to prepare everything of Audrey’s so that there wouldn’t be a real mess with everything she had when she died. Tyler’s mom, Cynthia, worked at the hospital here in town.

We’d just walked into Tyler’s house when his mom’s cell phone rang. She was needed at the hospital right away; there’d been two accidents within minutes of each other, and they needed all the help they could get.

So, just like that, I found myself alone with Tyler in his house.

“You wanna come up to my room?” He asked me.

“Yeah, sure.”

As we walked into his room, I quickly noticed all the posters he had on his walls – all but one of them were sort of “art”-like posters, with different designs on them that you couldn’t help but stare at. The one that wasn’t just a design was on a wall close to his bed – he could lay in bed, turn, and it’d be right in front of him. On this poster were two guys sitting underneath a tree, kissing. I walked over to get a closer look at it.

“You like that one, huh?” I’d walked past Tyler to stare at the poster. I turned and saw him grinning. Turning away, I could feel a blush coming on.

Chuckling, he patted me on the back. “C’mon, let’s get to work,” he said as he sat down on his bed. Tyler had a very soft, striped comforter covering the top of his bed, which looked just big enough for two. I sat down next to him and pulled out my textbook and notes. Tyler wasted no time in explaining how he was able to understand the formulas so well – at first, I didn’t get it, but as I wrote down notes, everything started to click in my head. I only needed a little over an hour before I was convinced that I could understand everything for tomorrow’s test.

Once we were done, I packed up my book and notes. Tyler headed for his doorway like he was ready to show me out.

“What’s your hurry?” I asked him.

Tyler shrugged. “I don’t know, I just…you want to hang out, or…?” He let the question hang.

“I don’t mind, I just…I, I feel kind of bad running off.”

“You don’t have to stay just to keep me happy.”

I walked over to him. “I’ll stay for a little bit.” Strangely, I then reached over and clasped one of his hands between mine. “We can hang out or something.”

Tyler didn’t respond, but a nervous look appeared on his face. He swallowed, and I released his hand as he removed his glasses, blowing on the lenses and then wiping them with the bottom of his shirt.

He exhaled when he was done, but I stopped him as he went to put them back on.

“Jake?” His voice was low, quiet, and he looked at me, questioning me. I couldn’t help but stare at him.

“You…you look good without your glasses.”

“I…I don’t like contacts.”

“I think you’d look cute with them.”

“You really…you think so?”

I nodded, and put a hand on his arm. I stepped ever closer to him now – everything I was saying or doing felt like I was acting on automatic.

Tyler quickly put his glasses on his dresser. “Jake…” He swallowed again, and I inched even closer. “Jake…” He said softly. I moved the hand on his arm up his side to his face as I closed my eyes and leaned in. I felt him pull me forward with his other hand as I did the same with my left hand, now snaked around his waist.

Our lips met in a full kiss, and though I’d felt myself growing hard already, now my little man was stiff. I felt his hands and arms settle into place on my back and around my waist as we began to make out. I held Tyler close with my left hand high at his shoulder blades. With my other hand, I grew bold, gently placing it right on his butt. I flexed my fingers a bit.

“Ohhhh…” I could hear a moan in Tyler’s throat. He then caught me by surprise, as his tongue pushed its way into my mouth. I fought a bit with my tongue, but I made no move to push him out. My tentative grip on his butt became firm as I lost sense of everything else except what we were doing.

All of a sudden, our lips parted, and Tyler pulled back, gasping for air. I took in a couple quick breaths as well. Tyler then moved around me, pulling my hand. He was heading towards his bed. I pulled my hand back and reached to pull my shirt over my head. Tyler stopped me, and took over for me. I stood there in amazement as he then pulled my shorts down so I could step out of them.

Now in my boxer-briefs, I waited as Tyler stood still in front of me. We looked at each other for a few seconds before I moved over to him to pull his shirt up and off him. That was followed by unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down as well to reveal black-and-red briefs that clung to him like a skin. Once he’d stepped out of his jeans, Tyler moved in front of me and leaned in to continue where we’d left off, only he began pushing me back once our lips met. I let him guide me to his bed like this as we resumed our make-out session, and found myself pushed backwards onto his bed.

I moved into place with my head on his pillow, and Tyler climbed onto his bed after me, settling on top of me as our lips joined together and our tongues fought back and forth. As I grasped his butt once again, I paused for just a split-second as I felt the material of his briefs. They were smooth and were not cloth like mine, and I liked it.

I felt our hard-ons line up as our bodies settled into our positions on the bed. I also felt myself relax a bit – Tyler showed no signs of letting up with his tongue, so I let him take control as he slipped it back into my mouth once again. Tyler explored my mouth as I gently played with his tongue. My relaxed state allowed my focus to turn to our hard dicks between us for a moment, and that’s when it hit me. Tyler’s dick was just a bit longer than mine! I pressed up against him a bit.

“Mmmmm.” Tyler pulled back, and we broke our liplock. I opened my eyes as he opened his. He looked at me, and pressed his dick against mine.

He was grinning. “Like my big dick, huh?” I could hear the lust in his voice, and that must’ve had me grinning, too. He kissed me again. “You want me to fuck you with it?”

I blinked at his question. What kind of animal had I unleashed here? I swallowed. “Uh…”

He began to slide his dick back and forth against mine. “I’ll try not to hurt you too much.”

Whoa…Tyler really wanted to fuck me now. Gulp. “Uhhh…” I stared at him nervously at the thought of him pushing his big dick up my butt.

Tyler chuckled a bit and kissed me again. “It’s okay.” He reached down to pull on both of our waistbands. I helped him ease our underwear off. “Lemme show you something.”

He lifted up a bit, enough to slip a hand between us. He grasped both of our erections together and began to jack us both off. I closed my eyes and quickly went slack as Tyler quickly worked at a rhythm. I moaned again and again, Tyler’s moans joining mine, and then just like that, I could feel both of us cumming. Tyler pulled his hand out just in time before he collapsed on top of me.

We lay there for probably a minute or two as we struggled to catch our breaths. I slid a hand back up onto his back as I settled down.

Tyler looked at me with a content smile on his face. “That was pretty wild.” He looked sort of peaceful now.

“Heh, yeah.”

Tyler leaned back in to kiss me once again, only now his kisses were brief, and it felt like we were being playful. Even though our lust had been spent, I couldn’t resist getting a squeeze of his bare butt. He giggled when he felt me squeeze. Mmmm…nice and soft.

I probably would’ve been happy to lay here like this for a little while longer, but Tyler got up off me. I sat up, and that’s when I saw the mess we’d made. I put a hand to my mouth to keep myself from laughing.

“Uh…yeah, I should probably wash this later.” A few laughs broke through, but I shook myself back under control.

“Tyler?”

“Yeah?” He’d walked over to where his clothes were on the floor.

“Would……would you really have fucked me?”

Tyler turned to look at me, then he closed his eyes as a blush appeared on his face. “I guess I…did get a little carried away there,” he finally said.

“Don’t feel too bad about wanting a piece of my ass,” I reassured him as I got off his bed.

“Really?” Tyler walked back over to me. “You mean you…” Playing along, I turned my back to him. “…you wouldn’t mind…” Sure enough, he got behind me, and he wrapped an arm around my waist as I bent forward a bit. He lowered his voice as he continued, “…you wouldn’t mind it if I bent you over my bed and slid my hard cock into you?” I could feel him chubbing up a bit, but it was nothing like what he’d had a few minutes ago. He leaned over me and kissed me on the left side of my neck, and lined up as if he was going to start pushing into me. I knew we were just playing now, though, and wasn’t feeling nervous at all. He did touch the tip of his dick to my hole before I felt him pull back. I straightened back up, and he gave my ass a pat and a quick rub. “Mmmm.” I felt a fleeting blush.

Tyler pulled out a towel from one of his dresser drawers and tossed it to me. I hesitated before I saw him pull another one out. We wiped ourselves off and then started getting re-dressed.

“Those are some briefs,” I said.

“These? They’re 2xist. I love how they fit on me.”

“Where’d you get ‘em?”

“I ordered them online. I…I saw them in an ad and I wanted a pair.”

Once we were dressed, Tyler spoke up again. “I don’t bring guys up to my room and fool around with them all the time. I’ve made out with a few guys, but I’ve never gotten naked with a guy before.” He looked at me before he added, “Well…before today.”

“You’ve seriously never done it with a guy yet?” Tyler shook his head. “Then how the hell’d you know what you were doing?”

“Mom and dad explained some of what gay sex was to me. I got curious, so I did some more research on it on my own. I wanted to be prepared for when I do have a boyfriend.”

“So…you…”

Tyler blinked at that moment, as if something suddenly registered in his brain. “You’re still wondering about before, when I said I wanted to fuck you.” I could only nod. Tyler turned his gaze away from me for a moment, before he turned back to me and said, “I…I’d like to wait until I have a boyfriend before I’m totally having sex, but…I couldn’t help it, I was too turned on by making out with you, the hot football player.”

Now I couldn’t help it, I was trying hard not to laugh once he’d finished sputtering all that. Tyler saw the look on my face, though, and winced. That made me feel guilty.

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“No no, it’s alright. Sometimes when I get worked up, I start talking like I’m word vomiting.”

“You really think I’m hot though?”

“Yeah,” He replied, saying it as if it was obvious.

Shrugging, I admitted, “I try not to think about how I look too much. I don’t want it to go to my head.” I thought for a moment and then asked him, “How come you haven’t asked me out?”

“Well…I didn’t want you to think I just wanted to get in your pants after you came out.”

“What if I hadn’t come out?”

Tyler shrugged. “One more hot boy to admire from afar, I guess.”

When Tyler said “admire”, that jogged my memory. “Admire, huh?” I decided to have a last little bit of fun with him. “What would you do if there was a boy you ‘admired’…so much, you just wanted to get to know him so bad?”

“What?” Tyler looked at me like, ‘what are you asking me?’

“Would you be willing to be a boy’s ‘secret admirer’?” I asked him in a teasing voice.

“What? Why are you…” Tyler paused, as if he was remembering something. “Oh…are you asking me if I’m the secret admirer leaving you notes in your locker?”

What?? Who told him about that? I asked him about it.

“Eric told me about it the other day.”

‘See if I do Eric any more favors,’ I thought. “So it’s not you?”

“No, it wasn’t me who left the notes. I’d just feel silly doing that.”

I laughed and said, “You should see what’s on them.”

I hung out with Tyler for a little while longer before I looked outside and noticed the sun was starting to go down, so I figured I should head home.

“Jake…” Tyler said as I was ready to walk out the front door. “You think you could…keep what happened here just between the two of us?”

I walked back over to him, pulled him to me with a firm grasp of his butt, and gave him one last kiss. “This can be our hot little secret,” I said, smiling.

Tyler returned my happy smile. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you around tomorrow. Thanks again for helping me with the formulas.”

“No problem. You should do fine on that test tomorrow.”

“I hope so. Well, I’ll see ya.”

“Bye, Jake.”

Tyler was right, I did score just fine on that test.

*****

I ran into Eric the next day at a swim meet. I’d decided to go because I wanted to see what Mike was like as a swimmer for myself. When I saw Eric, I acted like I was upset that he’d spilled the beans about my locker notes to Tyler. He nearly panicked, and I let him sweat it out for a moment before I let him off the hook. I actually didn’t really care either way.

Remembering how nervous Mike had been on our date, I was surprised to see none of that showing as he swam in his events. He won one, took a very close second in another, and was part of a winning relay team. I waited around to talk to him about it after the meet. He was very happy to see me. I quickly learned that Mike was almost like a different person when he was in his own “swim meet mode”. He told me about a time a couple of years ago when he’d had a really bad day during school, and still had a swim meet to compete in. He’d gotten himself so worked up just before the meet started, that he’d ultimately blocked everything and everyone else out, and put his mind on one thing – swimming. That was also the day he won an event for the first time ever, so at his next meet, he did the same thing – and he won again. Mike quickly figured out that he’d stumbled onto a winning formula with what he was doing, and ever since he became more and more driven to be the best swimmer he could be. I asked him if he’d be this focused if he still hadn’t come out yet, and he admitted that that might’ve been the one thing that could still bring him down this year if he hadn’t. He came out to everyone else at school once he’d talked with some of the rest of the team and the coach – the coach had made it clear to the team that someone who couldn’t support a fellow swimmer that was dealing with personal issues wasn’t a team player, and therefore wasn’t worthy of swimming for our team. Still, Mike admitted, with swimming, he at least knew what he was dealing with – but with dating guys, he didn’t yet, which was mostly why he was as nervous as he’d been asking me out and on our date. I told him I’d be glad to come see him at more meets – why not?

Sunday night, as I was sleeping, I dreamt that I was back in Tyler’s room, and we were making out again. It was just like before, where we were both on his bed and we were in our underwear. Only this time…after we slipped our underwear off, I lifted my legs up a bit. Tyler guided his dick to my asshole…and slowly began to push in. As he began a slow, careful fuck of my ass, we resumed making out. My dream lasted several more minutes, with Tyler fucking me and exploring my mouth with his tongue, until I felt him begin to cum in my ass. That set me off in my dream, only I felt my dream quickly fade out just as I began to cum. I lay there in a dark haze for a couple of minutes. As I began to move around, I felt sticky wetness both in my sheets and on me, the result of my wet dream. I recalled the events of my dream in my head, and afterwards I couldn’t help but wonder if it might be worth getting together with Tyler again and giving in to having sex with him, if only for the thrill of it. I wanted to figure out who my “mystery admirer” was, but now I was starting to wonder if it even mattered. At least with a guy like Tyler, now I already had at least some idea of what I was in for. With my mystery guy, I didn’t have any clue.

Kevin seemed to be in a weird sort of mood as well when we got to school the following day. Seems his dad wasn’t letting up on Kevin finding a girlfriend. I’d mentioned that Tyler and I had hung out after he’d helped me with the formulas for my science test, but I didn’t include our “frisky” time. “Frisky time”…where’d I come up with that one? Those mystery notes must’ve been having an effect on me…and speaking of which, guess what was waiting for me that morning?

 

 

TSK, TSK, TSK. ONLY TWO WEEKS TO GO, AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T FOUND ME! I’M BEGINNING TO DOUBT YOU, BIG BOY.

MAYBE IF I TOLD YOU THE ANSWER’S BEEN RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE ALL ALONG – WOULD THAT HELP?

SIGNED, MR. STARTING-TO-GET-FRUSTRATED GUY WHO…STILL TOTALLY DIGS YOU. :)

 

 

He’s been right under my nose all along? I stood there staring at the note, pondering that one. Kevin rested an elbow on my left shoulder and stared at it along with me.

“Your mystery man’s getting tired of waitin’ for you.”

I shrugged his elbow off. “But who’s been right there waitin’ for me who doesn’t speak up, who leaves me these cute little notes instead? Who’s playin’ this fuckin’ game with me?”

Kevin laughed. “I dunno man, but you better find him, and quick.”

“Well, who do I know who’s been right there who might be gay?”

“Could be a guy who’s already playin’ for your team.”

I blinked. “What?” That didn’t make sense to me.

Kevin knocked on my forehead. “Another football guy, like you.”

“I’m the only one on the team who’s into guys, though.”

“The only one who’s open about it.”

Kevin’s statement made me stop and think, and realize that there were other guys that I played with on the team who’d done something with another guy. A couple had just fooled around with another guy, a couple others had actually had sex with a guy, but none of them were anywhere near as open about liking other guys as I was. That made me think of one guy in particular – Max Mitchell, one of our starting running backs. He was just an inch taller than me, and looked like he was a bit heavier too. He looked like he was better built than I was, though he had about as much visible definition as I did. I’d heard it said that Max had a reputation with both girls and guys, and when asked about it to his face, he’d just laughed it off. I’d hung out with him a couple of times, but he’d never made a move on me, and I didn’t really want to fool around with another guy on the team anyway. Thinking about the other notes again, he didn’t really seem like the kind of guy to come up with what had been printed on them. Still…at this point, I was starting to think it really could be anyone who’d written these. And, if Max had as much of a “reputation” with both girls and guys as people said he did, he might be the type to be a little sneaky with something like this…

“Earth to Jake!” Kevin snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, Kev. What’s up?”

“Uh, you’re gonna be late, dude.” I looked around – oh shit, the halls were clearing out. I slammed my locker closed and took off in the direction of my first class.

*****

I decided to go to GSA that day, mostly because I wanted to prove to myself that I wouldn’t go all awkward anytime I was around Tyler after Thursday at his house. I tensed up a bit a couple times when I heard someone make a sexual comment, but I gradually got over it. Tyler managed to catch me off to the side after the meeting and started to say something about how I’d been able to keep myself together…until he realized that he wasn’t helping at all by bringing it up himself. I just laughed it off and changed the subject by thanking him for helping me study.

I did dream about Tyler again, though – only this time, I was bent over his bed and he was behind me. This one ended when I came as he was jacking me off – he reached around me and started stroking me in my dream. Before getting out of bed that morning, I lay there in a haze wondering how many more times I was going to wake up like this.

I noticed Max a couple of times in the hallway during the week, but each time it was just in passing – either he or I had somewhere to get to. Yet, each time I knew I would look at him just a little bit longer. I don’t think he noticed – or if he did, he didn’t say anything.

It was Thursday when I noticed Max for more than a little longer, though. I’d decided to work out that day – normally Kevin would be with me, but for some reason he didn’t feel like it that day, so I went alone. I was sitting up after doing some bench presses when I saw Max off to the side. I chose to be bold and added some extra weight to the bar – my last set had felt a little too easy. I felt the pressure of the extra weight right away, though my first few presses were okay. Four…five……six……seven……I was starting to wonder if the extra weight was a good idea. Eight……

“Need a hand, dude?” When did Max see me struggling? From how slowly I was pushing upward with number nine, I frantically nodded. Once we had the bar up, Max pulled it backward to put it at rest. I sat upward, gasping for breath.

“You okay, man?” That deep voice of his…it wasn’t helping!

Max reached over to rub my shoulder. “Breathe, Jake, breathe.”

“I need a drink,” I sputtered out. I walked over to the drinking fountain, pulled myself together, and returned to the bench to find Max still standing there.

“I see you’re without your right-hand man today,” he said. Max had seen Kevin and me in the weight room a few times when we were up there.

“Yeah, he didn’t feel like coming up today.”

“Why don’t you join me then?”

“I don’t know…” Max had a workout routine that included a few pretty intense exercises. “…I’m not sure if I’m up for some of what you do.”

“No reason you can’t try a few new things.” For a split-second, I thought he was flirting with me.

I shook the idea out of my head. “What the hell, I’ll give it a shot.”

Max agreed to tone it down a couple notches so I could get a feel for his routine, and I was even able to show him a way to improve one of his exercises.

After a couple of times through, I was spent, and I offered to let him get back to his normal level. But to my surprise, Max decided he was done for the day as well.

“You sure?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It’s not every day I get to play the teacher,” he said with a grin.

We made conversation all the way to the locker room, and even in the shower. While we were showering, I felt a couple of aches up by my right shoulder.

“You alright, Jake? I could make that better for you,” Max offered.

“Naw, you don’t have to. I’ll just pop by the trainer before I leave.”

“No, I insist. Let me make up for making you do a new workout.”

“I…” There was another shot of pain right then. “Aw, alright.”

“You’d have to come home with me. My uncle showed me this kind of massage therapy, I don’t want to do it here in the locker room.”

“You’re talking about rubbin’ the pain out or something?”

“Yeah.”

Even though my thoughts had begun to wander, I accepted his offer. I was curious about the massage therapy, and Max told me more about his uncle. He was a professional masseuse who lived up in Oakland, and he’d worked with Max’s dad after he’d thrown out his back doing construction work. The effect that his uncle’s therapy had had on his dad had done wonders for him, and had impressed Max a great deal – so much so, that Max was now thinking of going into physical therapy for a career once he’d gone through college. Knowing all that kind of put my mind at ease, and I felt grateful to Max for offering to relieve my aches.

Once we arrived at Max’s house, we went straight up to his room. Max had me lie face down on his bed while he grabbed the oil that he’d need. Then he came back, only to tell me that I’d need to take my shorts off too. I wasn’t crazy about just laying there in only the briefs that I’d chosen to wear that day, but I did as he asked. I shook when the oil hit my back – it was cold!

“Just try to relax,” Max said with a chuckle.

“Ah…I’ll try.”

“I know it’s cold, but you’ll be better off if you just lie totally still. Don’t move even the slightest bit.”

It took me a moment to relax as he rubbed in the cold massage oil, but gradually my skin adjusted to it. I willed my brain to turn off for the time being, and closed my eyes. Max was kneeling above me – I could feel his knees at my sides. He had incredibly soft hands, and he set right to work on my achy shoulder. At first I said nothing, other than to guide him to where the worst of the pain was. Max’s technique was working its own wonders, though, and I couldn’t keep my appreciation of his relief quiet. Then, he stopped. As I wondered what he was doing now, I realized that the aches in my shoulder had disappeared.

“Mmmmn…I think that did the trick.”

“Glad I could be of service.”

“Well thanks man, I appreciate it.”

“Tell you what, how about I give you a full-body massage? My treat.”

I thought for a brief moment and decided, “Aw what the hell, go for it.”

Max wasted no time, moving first to my other shoulder, then slowly down my back. When he moved down toward my ass, I began to wonder, but he didn’t try anything funny. I’d given up any pretense of keeping quiet a while ago, and I felt myself losing track of my senses. His hands…his technique…it all felt oh so nice, like something I hadn’t realized that my body needed until now. At one point, I moved my arms up to either side of my head. I felt Max reach over me to rub the muscles there. I could feel that he was hard in his underwear by now – he’d pressed up against me a couple of times. Now, as he rubbed my arms, his hard-on was pressed right up where my brief-covered asscrack was. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a shift – he stopped rubbing my arms, and I could feel the weight of his body on me.

Max’s lips were on the side of my neck. I didn’t even try to resist. I was feeling way too damn good to even care that Max didn’t seem too interested in his massage anymore. Somehow, I hadn’t gotten hard before, but once his lips touched my neck and he started nuzzling – bam! Instant erection. I shifted a bit.

I then felt Max’s tongue along my neck. “Ohhh, Max…”

“You ain’t felt nothing yet.” His voice was low, and husky with lust.

His mouth left my neck then, only to move up to – my ear! He nibbled on my earlobe for a bit, then moved upward. I felt his tongue again.

“Awwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhh!!” It felt both weird and felt like the biggest turn-on I’d ever felt. It was like I had a major weak spot right up there, and I could hear more and more desire coming out as I moaned.

“I want to fuck that nice ass of yours so badly, Jake. Will you let me?” Max whispered, huskily.

“Ohh, I…” I hesitated for a moment. There was still a part of me that was reluctant to let another guy fuck me, even though Max had turned me on so much. I could feel my resolve crumbling fast, though.

As if on cue, my cell phone chose that moment to start ringing, and I could hear it was Kevin’s ringtone. I turned my head in the direction of the ringing.

“You can call him back, can’t you? You know that I can take good care of you.” Max turned my head and went back to licking the same spot at my ear that he had before. I was practically singing in my moans now. Rather than wait for an answer, Max pulled on the waistband of my briefs, and I shifted to help him get them off. He got up off me, and I could hear him pull his underwear off as well. I said nothing, but I’d made up my mind that I was going to give in.

Just as he knelt back up against me, my phone rang again. Sigh…Kevin never called me twice in a row unless it was something really important, so I knew I had no choice but to get up and answer it.

“Dammit…I’m sorry Max, I have to see what the hell he wants.”

“No no, it’s okay, I can wait.”

I scrambled quickly off the bed and grabbed my phone. “Yo.”

“Jake!”

“Kevin?” His voice had been frantic. “What’s up?”

In between gasps, he answered, “I’m tryin’ to get away from Geoff and his buddy Marc. I was out walking, and I ran into them out by the mall. We got into it a bit, then Marc fuckin’ pulled out a knife. I ran like hell…I think I mighta lost them, but I need help, man. You’ve gotta get me outta here!”

“Oh…shit.” Instantly, I winced. Geoff had never pulled a stunt like this before. “I’ll, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Just try to keep away from them!”

“Alright, hurry!”

I turned to Max and explained the situation as quickly as I could.

“Son of a bitch…! Let’s get going.” We dressed up to our shorts, grabbed our shirts, and hurried out the door.

We’d driven a few blocks in Max’s truck when he spoke up. “Um…about before…”

“Max. … It’s okay. You don’t gotta say anything. I…I would’ve, uh…”

“I just don’t want you to think I only wanted you over for a piece of your ass.” The guilt in his voice was unmistakable.

“Max. … I know. I know you really only meant to help me out.”

“Jake.” He grabbed my arm, and it was fortunate that we had to wait for a light, because he turned and looked at me. “I’m not gonna ask you to bend over for me next time I see you. I don’t want you to be freaked out cause I wanted to fuck you.”

“I don’t…” I grasped his arm in return. “I know you just got caught up with what you were doing. I don’t…” I looked square into his eyes. “I don’t hold it against you, Max. I don’t want you to feel like you need to apologize, either. I wanted it as bad as you did.”

Max stared into my eyes for a moment, before giving me a brief smile and a gentle rub where he was gripping my arm. Then he let go and turned his attention back to the road, and we continued onward. “Thanks, Jake,” he said.

“I’ll tell you what. Maybe I’ll come up and work out with you a little more often.”

“That’d be cool. I’d, I’d like that.”

Max never asked what the deal was between Kevin and Geoff. Whether he just didn’t bother to ask, or he didn’t want to know, I didn’t really care. Just a few minutes later, we were pulling into the main parking lot at the mall.

“There he is!” I spotted Kevin running frantically. Geoff and a guy that had to be Marc were further behind. Max turned the truck and drove in a direction that would put us between them and Kevin.

Once we came to a stop, I threw open my door. “Kev!” I called to him.

“Jake?” He was gasping for breath.

“C’mon, get in!”

I scooted over, and Kevin climbed into the truck and slammed the door shut just as Geoff had reached that side. We were then flung back against the seat as Max suddenly sped in reverse. I could see out the windshield Marc grabbing for his knife, which he must have just tried to blow out one of Max’s tires with. We began to speed away, but quickly stopped when we saw a security vehicle approaching, lights flashing. It went past us, however, and looking out the back window, I saw it move to block Geoff and Marc’s way. Max took that as our cue to get the hell out of Dodge, and so off we went.

I waited until we’d been driving for a minute before I spoke up. “So what happened, Kevin? Why were they trying to, like cut you all up?”

“I just went out for a walk to like, clear my head after I got home, when all of a sudden I saw Geoff coming towards me. I thought I’d just turn and go another way, but then he was calling after me, and before I knew it, he and that other guy ran up to me. Then he started giving me shit, you know, like he always does, so I cussed him out, cause I was just pissed. Then I see that other guy, Marc, take out this like, switchblade, so I freaked out. I pushed out of Geoff’s way and started runnin’. I heard them behind me, so I turned around and pushed Geoff right into Marc, knocking them both over, before I kept running. I was able to lose them for a little bit, so that’s when I called you. I dunno how they found me, but…I’m glad you made it when you did, I don’t know how much longer I could’ve kept running away from them.”

Kevin started gasping for breath once again. I reached over and put my arm around him, patting him on the shoulder. “It’s alright, bro…you’re gonna be alright,” I said. Kevin waited to catch his breath before he spoke again. “Thank you so much, Jake – I…I really owe you one,” he said before he leaned in for a sideways hug. From the sound of his voice, he was barely keeping himself together.

“Easy…easy there, bro.” I rubbed his shoulder, trying my best to comfort him.

“What’s the deal with this Geoff guy?” Max asked.

I turned to Kevin. “Go ahead and tell him,” he said. I gave Max a brief version of their history.

“Geez…fuckin’ psycho,” he said. “I’m Max, by the way,” he continued, introducing himself to Kevin.

“I’ve seen you around…hey, you’re on the team with Jake, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

I cut in. “Max and I were working out after school, I was hanging out with him when you called.”

“Oh, that’s why he’s here. Thanks for the lift, man – I appreciate you bailing me out there.”

“Hey, no problem. Anything for Mr. Hot Stuff here,” Max said, patting me on the back. I found myself unable to fight the blush that suddenly came on.

Kevin looked at me with a weird smirk on his face. “What were you two getting up to when I called?”

“Oh, it’s…it’s not important,” I replied. I didn’t want to get into that right that minute.

Kevin wasn’t buying it, though. “The red on your face says otherwise.”

“I was showing him a new workout routine, it was a little rough on him though.” Phew! Saved by the Max. “I offered to try a little massage therapy to help ease the pain out.”

That brought a new smirk from Kevin. “Massage therapy, huh?”

“Yeah.” Max went on to explain about his uncle, the masseuse. Kevin seemed genuinely interested in what Max was saying, and he didn’t bring up what Max and I were doing again. Along the way, Max was also asking how to get to Kevin’s house so we could drop him off. I decided I was going to stay and hang out with Kevin for a little while once we got to his house, but Max reminded me that my stuff was still at his house. So, we swung by so I could grab it before continuing on to Kevin’s.

Once we pulled into Kevin’s driveway, I told him to go on ahead while I talked to Max for a minute.

Max pulled me over to him once Kevin had gone inside the house. “Maybe next time we won’t have any sudden interruptions,” he said, rubbing my shoulder.

“Yeah, um…about that.” I swallowed. There was still one little thing I needed to take care of first. “I need a little time to think about it, Max.”

“What’s up?”

“I never thought about fooling around with another guy on the team till today. I don’t know if…” I trailed off.

“Nobody else has to know about you and me,” he whispered. His voice was sounding husky once again. I could feel my groin responding to it yet again.

“I’ve never done anything like this with a guy before though. I mean, yeah I’ve fooled around, but…”

“…you ain’t had your cherry popped yet,” Max finished for me. He was grinning now. “I’ll be sure to take real good care of you, Jake – you won’t be sorry you gave it up for me.” He paused for a moment, then continued. “Unless you don’t want that.” Was that doubt I was hearing?

“Well……you’re not the only guy who wants me, Max.”

“Oh, really?”

I quickly explained about the notes I’d been getting in my locker. “You wouldn’t happen to be writing them, would you?”

“Ha! I wish. It wasn’t me, but if it was I’d say you could be mine right here and now.”

“Oh. Gee…” I began to wonder, not for the first time, whether this guy was worth waiting for.

“Tell you what. You find out who this guy is, and when that’s over…” He placed my hand firmly on his crotch. “…Maximillion and I will be waitin’ for you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at him having a pet name for his dick. I groped him for a few seconds, while he pulled me right next to him and put his lips on the side of my neck once again. We sat there, me groping, and him nuzzling, for a little bit, before I felt him pull off my neck.

“Go on. Get outta here before your buddy comes back lookin’ for you.”

I got up and reached down to grab my duffle bag, and felt Max give me a swat on my ass. I looked back at him, and he just raised his eyebrows in a sly way. “Next Thursday,” he said.

I looked at him, confused. “I can do that workout with you again next Thursday,” he said.

“Yeah, that’ll work.” I just wondered if Kevin would decide to join us that day.

“Alright. Well, I’ll see you around – hot stuff.”

I slammed the door of his truck shut, but I was smiling – even as I walked into Kevin’s house. Right away, Kevin got curious again, and this time, I couldn’t stop him from wondering what we’d been up to at Max’s house. So…reluctantly, I admitted to him that I might have let Max fuck me had he not called for help when he did. That made Kevin feel guilty for a moment, but I assured him that he had no reason to feel guilty for needing my help. I did make him promise not to mention what Max and I were up to to anyone – not that I really needed to, because I knew Kevin wouldn’t spill the beans like that. Still, I was feeling a little secretive about the whole thing.

Somehow I managed to keep myself from beating off the rest of the day, though as I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t take my mind off the two of us on Max’s bed. I imagined Max pushing himself into me. My mind stuck on that image until suddenly, it went blank. I must have drifted completely off to sleep at that point, because then suddenly the image came back, stronger than before. Max’s bed felt softer than I was remembering it, and I felt kind of weaker. Max was kneeling behind me like before, though, and there was no phone ringing. Then, I felt him slowly push into me. It seemed like it should have hurt because of his big size, but all I felt was really, really, full. He settled back on top of me and began a slow, easy fuck of my ass. He then placed his lips on my neck and began to nuzzle. It seemed to go on for so long, and I was moaning, moaning, moaning…gradually louder and louder. Before I knew it, there was a sudden wetness in my ass, and Max began to thrust harder and harder. I lifted up and pushed back against him – he reached under me and firmly grasped my dick, furiously jacking me off. That’s where my dream ended, only this time I woke up with a start, and a moan that I couldn’t suppress. Great…I wasn’t looking forward to explain this one to my parents, who were sure to have heard me.

*****

I was feeling pretty frustrated the next day. I wanted to know who my mystery note-writer was so I could put this behind me once and for all. At one point during the day, I was standing by my locker reading the notes over again, running all the information I had through my head. I noticed a guy from student council walk by, Caleb Cronin. Caleb grew his hair out a little longer and was amazing in my English class. I looked over at him.

“Hey, Caleb.”

“No man, it wasn’t me.” He must have seen the notes in my hand.

“I…”

“I’ve heard all about your little note-writer, Jake. You can’t pin that one on me.” And, he walked off.

I stood there for a moment, stunned, before stuffing the notes back in my locker and slamming it shut. “Ughhh!!!” I was having just about enough of this.

Then…suddenly I realized something. I pulled my locker open again and grabbed the notes one more time. There…on the second note it was: “I can see you don’t have a clue who I am Jakey.” There’s only one guy I knew who I let call me “Jakey”…but…it couldn’t be. There’s just no way my mystery note-writer, who “totally digs me”, is…

I shook that thought out of my head immediately before slamming my locker shut again and walking away.

Somehow, this guy must have gotten the message that enough was enough, though, as I opened my locker on Monday morning to find note number five:

 

 

OKAY, OKAY…I’LL ADMIT IT: YOU DID CATCH ME A LITTLE OFF-GUARD. I DIDN’T THINK THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER GUY RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE WHO WOULD TRY TO GET TO YOU BEFORE ME!

BUT NOW, IT’S MY TURN TO CATCH YOU OFF-GUARD ONCE AGAIN. I PROMISE, THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME, AND NOW I’M TAKING NO CHANCES.

WHILE THIS HAS BEEN FUN, THIS GAME NEEDS TO COME TO AN END. SO…HERE IT IS, YOUR ONE AND ONLY SHOT TO FIND OUT WHO I REALLY AM: I’LL BE IN PINEWOOD PARK ON V-DAY AT SIX O’CLOCK. I’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE…PLEASE DON’T BE LATE.

SIGNED…WILL YOU TOTALLY DIG ME A WEEK FROM NOW?

 

 

So…this was it. He was through playing with me, and now he wanted to show his face. But…wait a minute, how would this guy know what I’d been up to recently? Maybe he really was everywhere, as he’d claimed. Oddly, Kevin didn’t have much to say about it at all when I showed him the note later on.

The week seemed to fly by. I went to another swim meet to cheer Mike on, and met Max to work out on Thursday like we’d planned. While we were showering afterwards, I felt Max come up behind me. He slipped an arm around my waist. Behind me, I felt him adjusting himself, as he wedged his hard dick in the crack of my ass. I quickly looked around, and to my relief, found that we were alone.

“It’s okay, relax,” Max whispered in that husky voice. He lay a big kiss on the side of my neck.

“I thought you were gonna wait till I found out who my note-writing guy is,” I said.

“Haha, doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with you before that.” He put his lips back on my neck and began to nuzzle. With the hand that was around my waist, he slowly began to slide his hand up my stomach.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm,” I moaned.

“Lemme wash you,” Max said. I managed to reach over and grab a bar of soap, which I handed to him. Max lathered up my chest, my stomach, and even reached down to my groin, as he took his time with me. I suddenly felt myself bending over as Max pushed on me from behind. He lined up his cock and…

…and you can probably guess how the rest of that dream went. Actually, we both got a little playful washing each other, but we didn’t get any more sexual than when Max first came up behind me.

Finally, Valentine’s Day Tuesday arrived. I was pretty anxious throughout the day, and I couldn’t keep my mind off of what was to come in the park. When the school day finally ended, I asked Kevin if he felt like coming down to the park with me, but he said no. He said I should be there on my own, and besides which, he was planning on sitting down with his dad today to finally get to the bottom of why he was pressuring Kevin so much to start dating again. I wished him the best of luck, and then we parted.

I dressed up in a nice sweater and jeans, though not the same sweater as from my date with Mike – this one was dark green and black. The note said my mystery man would be there at six, but I couldn’t wait, so I headed down to the park around five. I sat down on a bench and pulled out my cell phone. I decided I’d browse the web while I waited.

My phone was showing 5:12 P.M. when I noticed Vince running up. He was running at a regular pace, though. When he noticed me, he turned in my direction and stopped.

“Hey……you find your mystery man yet?” He asked me. He was dressed for running – he probably made a habit out of it, and I was just lucky to see him around today.

“I’m meeting him right here today, around six.”

“So…that’s when he plans on showing his face.”

I stared at Vince intently, and something about what he’d said just tipped me off. “You somehow know who he is, don’t you?”

He tried to deny it at first, but then he admitted, “Okay look, man. I saw him put a note in your locker a couple weeks ago. It was a…Friday just after school. He turned and saw me lookin’ at him, and he just about freaked out. He begged me not to tell you who he was before you got a chance to meet him.”

“Okay, so…you know who it is, but I thought you wanted me to come find you afterwards.” I was toying with Vince now. “You’re telling me you’re just gonna let this guy make a play for me?”

There was no cockiness in the look on Vince’s face, however. “I, uh…Jake, I think you’re gonna want to see who this guy is.”

“Why’s that?”

“Can’t tell you, man. All I know is, you need to see for yourself who your mystery love note man really is before you make up your mind about anything.”

“That’s what you said to me before, though.”

“I said I wanted a guy who was only focused on me, though. This guy, he…this guy changes everything.”

I looked at him, confused. “I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t. Trust me, though…” He patted me on the shoulder. “…you will. You’ll see why this guy matters so much.”

“You don’t think you’re better than this guy?”

“Jake.” He took a couple steps back from the bench. “I gotta keep going, man. Just do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t be a stranger.” With a wave, he took off running again.

I thought over what Vince had said. He obviously seemed to think I would choose my mystery guy over him – but what I wanted to know was, why? Vince didn’t seem like a guy who was willing to give up that easily. I wonder what he’d have thought of my little “frisky” time with Tyler and then later with Max, though. Neither of them were the mystery note writer, but as hot as Vince was, I knew each of them more than I knew him. In fact, I’d been all ready to give up my ass cherry to Max; it was only bad luck that that hadn’t happened. I sat back against the bench and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander for a bit.

I must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew was a hand nudging me awake. “Jake?”

I opened my eyes and turned to my left to find Kevin standing there. He had kind of a gloomy look on his face. “Is it alright if I sit down with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” I glanced at my phone quickly – 5:46 P.M. I hadn’t missed my mystery man yet, I didn’t think.

“What’s up? I thought you weren’t gonna come down here with me.”

“It didn’t go very well with my dad, Jake. I told him I’d start looking for a date when I damn well felt like it, no matter what he said. He got real mad at me and started yelling at me, until finally I just couldn’t take it. I ran out of my house, and I’ve just been walking around ever since. Then I remembered you’d be here at the park, so I came down here. I…” he paused.

“You need somebody to lean on for a little while?” I asked him. We’d become each other’s “rock” for times when either one of us got so upset and didn’t feel like going to our parents. He nodded. I pulled him to me and put my arm around him.

“It’ll be okay, buddy,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“I don’t want to be in the way though, when your mystery guy shows up.”

I pushed thoughts of him aside for the moment. “I’m sure he’ll understand. You should be feeling a little better by then though, right?”

“I hope so,” was all he said.

I took his mind off of his earlier argument by showing him a couple of random things I’d found on Facebook. At least he was laughing for the time being.

Before I knew it, it was six o’clock. When I noticed the time on my phone, I disconnected from the web and looked around. There were a couple other people around, both adults.

“Huh,” I said.

“Maybe he’s just running a little late.”

“He told me not to be late, though.”

I waited patiently for a couple of minutes. Nobody else stopped at our bench. I pulled the notes out of my pocket – I’d brought them with me, just for the hell of it. I read them over, from the first one to the last one, one more time.

“…so here it is, your one and only shot to find out who I really am. I’ll be in Pinewood Park on V-Day at six o’clock. I’ll be waiting for you, please don’t be late,” I recited. “Well I’m here, where the fuck are you?”

“Trying not to get caught getting here?”

“Huh?” What was Kevin getting at?

“This last one was the toughest. Almost got caught leavin’ it.”

“Yeah, Vince was by here earlier, he said he ran into a guy who…” I stopped, instantly. Kevin’s last comment suddenly registered in my brain.

I opened my eyes wide, and slowly turned towards Kevin. All this time…he secretly liked me that way??

I swallowed. “Kevin?” He slowly nodded. My expression softened as I saw the nervous one on his face. “You really…?” I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the right words.

“I’m the guy who……who totally digs you. Jakey.”

Jakey. “So...it really was you……all this time, Kev. Only you would call me Jakey.”

He nodded. “I kicked myself when I got home ‘cause of that. I thought for sure you’d know it was me right then.”

“But, I……I don’t understand, Kevin. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was okay with you being gay, Jake. I don’t care if anybody else is gay. … It’s me I wasn’t okay with.”

“I don’t get it, though. Why isn’t it okay for you to be gay?”

“Because of my DAD.” He paused for a few seconds. “He wants me to find a girl and start going out with her, and then she and I can go off to college together and get married while we’re there. That’s how he fell in love with mom. She doesn’t really care how long I wait, but dad just won’t let it go.”

“But you haven’t dated since our freshman year. If you thought you were gay even then, why are you just telling me now?”

Kevin sat there for a minute, thinking about it before he answered. “I……I don’t really know what I am, Jake. … I think girls are hot, but…I can’t think of one I want to go out with. I can’t think of anyone I want to go out with, nobody except……you.”

“Why me, Kev? I…” I trailed off, as the wheels in my brain started turning. I was starting to think I knew what he was going to say.

“You’ve been there for me like nobody else has. You’re the guy who I can tell my secrets to, and he doesn’t care. You’re the guy who trusts me more than anybody else. You’re the guy, who……who’s the only one I can see myself going out with.”

I had no words with which to respond to what he’d said. I looked at him, confused…puzzled…I waited for him to continue.

“I know what you’re probably thinking. How can I be both into girls and be into you?” I couldn’t help but nod; what he said was true. “I didn’t say anything about it ‘cause I needed to figure out who I was, Jake. … I’ve thought about being with you, since like…since like the beginning of last year. I kinda freaked about it at first. That was when I didn’t want to see you without your shirt on.”

I recalled that month – Kevin had acted pretty weird, and when he snapped out of it, I asked him what the deal was, but he’d shrugged it off at the time.

“I wondered if I was gonna start thinking about other guys too, so that’s why I got nervous during gym class that year.” I remembered that, too. “It didn’t matter, though. You’ve been the only guy I’ve ever thought about going out with. I was gonna tell you last year, but that’s when dad started asking me when I was gonna start asking girls out again.” Somehow, I remembered that, too – Kevin had been grounded for two weeks for mouthing off after he got upset about it. I managed to find out the hard way when I called to ask him to hang out, and his dad had answered the phone. I remembered I’d felt miserable for the first couple of days after that.

“I did ask this girl Stella out after a couple weeks, we only went out on one date though. It wasn’t bad, it’s just…I wasn’t really into it at all. I let dad think I was going out with her for a while, but eventually he figured out that I wasn’t dating anyone.”

Now I was surprised. “You never…you never told me about that.”

Kevin turned away from me for a few seconds. “I didn’t want you to know, Jake. I was still mixed up with how I felt about you, and I didn’t want to make it worse. I finally figured it’d be easier to just let you think I was straight, and forget about it.”

“And then I finally came out to you.”

Kevin nodded. “I wasn’t thinking about what I was going through that day, Jake. All I could do was be there for you ‘cause you needed me to.”

Suddenly feeling grateful all over again, I reached over and pulled Kevin into a hug. I could feel the emotion coming from him pour over me. Then we separated, and he continued.

“I managed to forget all about how I was feeling for a little while after you came out to me. Don’t ask me how, but I did. When you finally decided you were gonna come out to everyone…it’s like it all came right back, and I thought to myself one night, this is it, I can finally tell you how I really feel about you.” With a sigh he then added, “And then…”

“…your dad got on your case about dating, again.”

He nodded. “And I chickened out once again.”

“Why didn’t you just finally tell your dad how you felt about me to get him to stop?”

“Because I didn’t know how to explain it to him. I don’t even know how he’s gonna take it when I finally do tell him, Jake. I only just figured out how I could feel the way I do not long ago.”

“I thought you said last year you realized you weren’t thinking about any other guy except me.”

Kevin shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t think it made sense that I could be into just one guy and not other guys, too. So, I finally asked Tyler about it.” I reacted with surprise, instantly. “I went to a couple GSA meetings when you weren’t there. Those days where I said I had to stay after in the library? Well, I lied. I wanted to ask Tyler about how I was feeling because I figured he’d know. He told me that for some people it is just like that, I think he said it’s more fluid or something, where they’re not into just guys, or just girls, or into all guys and all girls. I also made him promise not to tell you about it.”

That, was not so surprising. Tyler was a firm believer in keeping what was said during GSA meetings confidential. But, a new thought entered my head. “So why then, have you been writing these cute little notes and leaving them for me, Kev?”

He shrugged. “Well, I…guess I wanted to surprise you, Jake. I got the idea after you told me how you couldn’t think of a guy you wanted to go out with.” He kept talking, but I tuned him out for a moment as I thought back about the guys I’d thought were most attractive. I remembered I’d told him that I wanted a guy to ask me out, that would help me decide. “…so finally I figured I could leave you those notes to get your attention. A guy always wants to know if he has a secret admirer, who it is, right?”

He had a point, I realized. “You’re right. Look what you’ve put me through over the past month.”

“I really had you going, didn’t I?” Now Kevin was smiling, for the first time since he’d walked up to me here in the park.

“Where the hell did you come up with this stuff, though? ‘Hey big boy, I’ve got my eye on you…I’m like a ninja, I’m everywhere and I’m nowhere…I’m the guy who’s been right under your nose all along, I’m the guy who totally digs you!’ What the hell, Kev?”

He still managed to do something I didn’t expect – he blushed. He waited for a minute before he answered me. “I wanted to throw you off completely. I didn’t want to leave you something that you’d know it was me right away. I came up with the first two right away, and made the rest up later. I really got into it for a little bit there.”

“So why didn’t you say anything when Mike asked me out, or when I told you about Tyler and Max?”

Kevin looked at me funny. “What about Tyler?”

I quickly covered my mouth. Oh, shit…I realized quickly that I hadn’t told Kevin about anything other than studying with him that day. “Uh…forget I said that.”

“What’d you and Tyler get up to?” He asked me, slyly.

“It doesn’t matter, Kev! Why didn’t you say anything even when I told you about Max?”

“I’d already decided by then that I was gonna wait till today to let it all come out.”

“How’d you know, though, that I was gonna wait for you to reveal yourself? How’d you know I wasn’t going to go for one of the other guys?”

Kevin hesitated. “I really didn’t know, Jake.” He paused again before continuing. “I took a real big chance with that. I just hoped that you’d give me a chance when you finally knew it was me.”

“But Kevin…what if……what if I hadn’t?” I wanted to hear his answer.

“It doesn’t matter now, Jake.” He lay a hand on top of mine. “You know everything now. You know where I stand and what I want. I want to be with you, you know – boyfriend and boyfriend.”

“Kevin…” I’d never heard him say something with so much meaning before. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

I suddenly felt like he was staring right into my eyes. “Don’t say anything, Jake. Just……just kiss me. … Please.”

We each wrapped an arm around the other, and leaned forward. My heart was pounding as our lips met. I was surprised at how soft Kevin’s lips were. I recoiled for a split-second, as I felt…I felt a certain “something”, something that hadn’t been there when I’d kissed Mike here only weeks ago. As I took in the feelings that were radiating around us, I pressed Kevin to me as much as I could, and I felt him do the same. I gradually lost track of everything around us, of everything except Kevin and I joined together through our lips. It might sound silly, but sitting there on that bench…it really did feel like more than just a kiss that we were sharing in that moment. As our lips continued to slide against each other, I could feel thoughts of other guys gradually disappear, one by one. Nothing I could think of could compare to how I felt now with Kevin.

Eventually, however, I had a need to breathe once again. Reluctantly, we pulled our lips apart. We slowly caught our breath, and then I pulled Kevin back into a sideways hug.

“Oh, Kevin…” I rubbed him gently, up and down his left side. He leaned in and put his head on my shoulder.

“So does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend, and I’ll be yours?”

“As far as I’m concerned, all I can say is, please take me I’m yours.” He chuckled when I said that, so I clipped him on the side. “I don’t think that was really that funny, Kev.”

“I know, Jakey, I just couldn’t help it. You sounded like a total chick flick.”

A little embarrassed, I admitted, “Okay, maybe I did. But I……I love you, Kevin Lafferty. I haven’t let myself think of you like that for a while, but I feel like I could fall completely in love with you, like the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“That’s so far away, Jake. You really want to make it happen, make it like so we’re together forever?”

“I’m not gonna rush anything, Kev. I don’t……I’m not in any hurry to be all grown up and thinking about having a house together, and all of that stuff. I’m only thinking about right here and now, and how I want you as my boyfriend, without worrying about anybody else. I might’ve said ‘I love you’ already, but I…I don’t feel like I want to take it back. I care too much about you.”

“Me too, Jake. You mean the whole world to me. If it makes you feel any better, I…I love you, too. I know it doesn’t quite feel like we both mean it yet, but…I’d rather make it so that we can both mean it to each other the next time we both feel like we want to say it.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Kevin. That’s exactly how I feel. I don’t care how long it takes, just as long as we’re still together and we still care about each other – that’s all that matters.”

And those words, I did mean – every single one of them.

 

 

THE END