Reach - 14. Chapter 14

Chad was not especially surprised to wake up alone the next morning, but he was still unhappy about it. He had been stunned to see Tibial here after so many years. How had Tibial found him?

He sat up and raked his hands through his hair, grateful to have the day off. Normally the summer kept him busy each and every day, but finishing that huge project yesterday gave him a brief reprieve. He had originally planned to use the time to work on some more paintings. He tried to sell a couple at the local gallery during the summer to save up a little extra for the off season when work was slow, but the importance of that faded away next to Tibial. He needed to find out why he was here and what his plans were and hopefully convince him to stay.

There was a knock on the door and Chad jumped out of bed, tripping on the sheets still wrapped around his ankles. He kicked them away impatiently and yanked on some pants before racing to the door and pulling it open. He glanced around before his eyes caught the small figure around the vicinity of his knees. He knelt down to find himself eye to eye with one of Tibial’s daughters–Jenna or Jessa.

The girl smiled at him, held a book clutched to her chest.

“Hey,” Chad said.

“Hi. I am Jenna.”

“Hello Miss Jenna. I’m Chad.”

“Are you a friend of my daddy?”

“Yes.”

The girl fidgeted. “Did you know my mommy?”

Chad thought carefully before answering. Goddess, he did not know how to deal with children. “A little bit.”

The girl held out her book. "It's my memory book. My daddy made them for me and Jessa. Wanna see?"

"Okay."

He sat down next to her on the couch in his living room and was amused when she got up and resettled herself in his lap. "This is a picture of Mommy and Daddy when me and Jessa were still in Mommy's tummy. That's why she's so fat."

Chad looked at the picture. Tibial and Mia were both beaming at the camera, Tibial with his arms around his wife, his hand on the bulging mound under her dress, Mia's own hand overlapping his. He saw the matching rings on their fingers and felt a moment of sick jealousy.

"And this is me and my sister,” Jenna said, pointing to another photograph of two babies with pink fat faces, curled against each other like kittens. "Jessa is older than me, but only by like, a few minutes."

Jenna continued to turn pages. At regular intervals there would be a letter written in Mia's handwriting. Chad asked about those.

"My Mommy wrote me and Jessa lots of letters," Jenna explained. "This one..." She turned to a page near the front. "She wrote before we were born, when we were feet."

"Fetuses."

"Yeah. And then one when we were just born, and another one our birthdays," Jenna said. "I'm not old enough to read them yet, but I will be in a few years."

There was a brisk knock up front and Tibial opened the door. "Have you seen—“ he started, then spotted his daughter in Chad’s lap. “Miss Jenna!!" He stormed into the room, picked up Jenna and hugged her. He then set her firmly down back on the floor and grabbed her arms. "What have I told you about going off and not telling anyone!!"

The young girl wilted under his outburst and tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her face. "I'm sorry," she said, starting to sob. Tibial hugged her, kissing the crown of her head.

"You scared me baby," he murmured, softening his voice.

"I'm sorry daddy."

"All right." He held her a little longer, rubbed her back until she stopped crying. "So, if Miss Jenna wants to go somewhere, what does she do?"

Rubbing her eyes and her lips still trembling, Jenna replied in a watery voice. "Tell Daddy and ask if it's okay."

"And what do you not ever do?"

"Go off by myself or with someone I don't know."

"Okay." Tibial smiled and ruffled her hair. "You can visit Mr. Devon if you want, but ask Daddy first so he doesn't worry about you."

"'Kay."

"Good. Now go eat some breakfast. We'll visit the beach later."

"Yay!!" Jenna darted to the couch, grabbed at Chad until he bent down so she could give him a kiss, and ran out of the room. Tibial leaned against the wall for a moment, collecting himself. Jenna was going to bring him an early death due to stress, he was sure of it.

"Are you alright?" Chad asked.

"Yeah. I was just worried when I couldn't find her."

"I had no idea that you were unaware of her whereabouts. If I had known I would have sent her right back. Are you still staying with Metta?"

"Yes. Thank you for keeping her out of trouble." Tibial turned to leave.

"Hey, Tibial. Wait."

Tibial turned and glanced at him. "Yes?"

"Didn't you want to talk?"

"You weren't too interested in talking last night were you?" Tibial asked. Chad arched an eyebrow at his cool tone.

"Neither were you," he replied.

"My mistake," Tibial said and left.

He went back to Metta's apartment and gathered up his girls to take them out for breakfast. And, since he had promised them a trip to the beach, he changed them into their swimsuits, slathered sunblock on their faces and shoulders, then took them out onto the shore. Jenna was ecstatic, wasting no time in running right to the water and jumping into the waves. Jessa tiptoed nervously on the wet sand at the edge, running away from the water anytime it came too close to touching her feet. Tibial ran up, scooped her up and threw her right into a breaking wave, Jessa squealing at the top of her lungs as water crashed around her chest and waist, pouting as her father laughed. He splashed around in the waves with them, then picked up both of them, and waded into deeper water. His daughters shrieked and laughed with the sheer fun of the entire thing. They had never been to the ocean before, had never even seen it outside of pictures and this was the first time for him too. Surrounded by so much water, seeing it going as far as his eyes could see, it was stunning and humbling to him and fascinating to his two girls. He finally let them back down in shallow water to play in the waves, examine shells and dig down into the sand to find crabs.

Tibial walked down the beach with them. It seemed unbelievable that anyone could not love them as much as he did. Jenna was a fearless firecracker, always the first to try something new, especially if it was risky, and diving into trouble face first. Jessa was the cautious one, always approaching everything with a nervous timidity, many times shying away from new experiences. But she was always the first one to be at a person's side if they were hurt, offering them a hug and a hand up if they needed it and she had an endless store of patience. Jenna was always on the search for something new, something different and Goddess help the fool that tried to stop her from getting what she wanted. Tibial could tell already she was going to a be a hellion when she got older and could only pray that her sister would be able to exert some calm and be a controlling influence over her.

He bought them lunch from a refreshment stand set up on the boardwalk, then took them back to Metta's apartment to take a nap. Once he had them laid down, he went back to Metta.

"Thank you again for giving us a place to stay," he said.

"Of course, dear."

"We'll probably be leaving in the morning."

"Well, I will certainly be missing you and your young ladies," Metta said. "I do love having children around."

"I am so sorry that you lost your daughter." He tried to imagine how he would cope if something happened to one of his girls and couldn't. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you."

"It was very hard. But it was long ago." She smiled. "It was so hard for me to be around children for a while. It reminded me so much of what I had lost. But I got over it. Now I do a lot of babysitting on the side. It still reminds me of her, but it's good memories, so I like it. I wish you and your daughters could stay a little longer."

"I'm afraid we have to be moving on."

"Have you settled your business with Chad?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure of that?"

Tibial crossed his arms. "You are getting too personal Lady Metta."

She looked at him carefully, her eyes revealing nothing. "My apologies."

* * *

He took the girls back out again that afternoon. They played around in the water some more, then walked along the beach, picking up shells and looking at them, trying to see if they could get them to stick on their skin. Tibial sat down in the sand and watched them from a distance. If Jenna so much as stepped into an oncoming wave he was going to be after her like a shot, but as long as they stayed on the sand, they would be okay.

He saw a shadow stretch out on the sand next to him and looked up at Chad.

"Good afternoon," Chad greeted him.

"Good afternoon," Tibial said, keeping his eyes on the girls, determined not to look at Chad.

"About yesterday," Chad started, kneeling down next to him.

"What about it?"

"I hope you didn't mean what you said this morning. I hope you don’t think it was a mistake.”

“No, I suppose I didn't mean it,” Tibial said in a calm, measured tone. “My true mistake was falling in love with you. I don’t plan on making it again.”

Chad closed his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

Tibial laughed, a low hollow sound that held no humor.

“See, that’s one of the things that led to this in the first place. Always assuming you know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, what choices I should make. Where the fuck do you get off telling me that I don’t mean what I say? I do mean it. You broke my heart and I still haven’t found all the pieces. I’m not going to let you break it again.”

“I won’t.”

Tibial smiled and it was as cold and false as his laugh had been. “You don’t mean that.”

Tibial got to his feet and walked away to where his daughters were standing on the damp sand. Chad watched as one of them pointed at a conch shell creeping across the sand. Tibial knelt down, picked it up and dropped it into the girl's hands. She shrieked and dropped it. Tibial laughed and hugged both of them, before taking their hands and walking down the beach. It was a picturesque family scene, and one that Chad was painfully aware that he had no place in. He turned around and went back inside his apartment.

* * *

Chad was worried. He had never expected to see Tibial again. Now Tibial was here, Chad had gotten to see him, touch him, even made love to him. And now that he was here, Chad didn't want to see him go. Chad didn’t want to lose him again.

But something wasn't right. There was something off, something wrong that he felt, deep and cold in his bones. It wasn't just that Tibial had blown him off. That was something he could deal with. But what Tibial had said...

My biggest mistake was falling in love with you. I don’t plan on making it again.

I don't plan on making it again...

Did that mean Tibial didn't love him anymore? Chad wouldn't let himself believe that. Not now. Not when Tibial was back, not when they could possibly be together like they used to.

Chad shook his head. That didn't make sense. If Tibial didn't love him, why had he come back? How did he find him in the first place? And what had happened to Mia?

Chad had so many questions and Tibial didn't even want to talk to him. They had sex and then that was it. Chad had to find out what was going on. Or chances were he would end up losing Tibial again. He couldn't handle that.

* * *

Tibial lay on his back, staring up at the dark, unfamiliar ceiling. Jessa lay sprawled over his chest, snoring lightly. He ran a hand over her hair, silver blond platinum in her youth. It would darken into a burnished gold later on, he knew, like her mother’s hair.

Mia.

He really did miss her sometimes. Times like these, when everything was calm, quiet and peaceful. Remembered her smile, her laugh, the way she looked at the girls the night they were born. When it was easy to forget all the fighting, the arguments over money and sex. During the long nights with no sleep, he found himself missing her a little. Not as much as he had missed Chad, but...

He touched Jessa's hair again. Mia's abandonment had been difficult on both his girls, but he believed it hit Jessa the hardest. She had always been sensitive and timid but Tibial didn't mind, he had been the same way when he was a young child. Ever since the separation, however, she had also been unusually whiney and clingy. Tibial thought that she believed that she would wake up one morning and find him gone as well.

Hell, little angel, Tibial thought. Hell before I would ever leave you or your sister.

Jenna was coping, although not as well as she thought she was. Jenna would give no outside sign that Mia's sudden absence bothered her at all, but little oddities slipped through at times, showing that deep down, she still expected her mother to show back up. She vehemently protested leaving their apartment without "leaving Mommy a note so she'll know where to find us when she gets back". Tibial left the note just to humor her, but he worried about this strange denial of reality. He didn't think it was right or fair to pick favorites among his children, but he adored Jenna, loved her fire, her spirit and her unwavering sense of danger and adventure and he would hate to see it crushed. Goddess, what had Mia been thinking? Not even saying good-bye?

His number one priority when he was young had been the Vineyard, then Chad. Now it was his girls. He needed to find a home, a steady job, some stability for them to grow up and heal the wound that Mia's disappearance had left behind.

He had no time to stick around and try to repair things with Chad. He wasn’t sure there was even anything there worth saving. He couldn't focus on that right now, not when he had to take care of his children. Chad was the last open link to his past, one that he was determined to severe. Turn the page; close the door.

He would start over. A new life, new home, and a new beginning for his family.

It was what they all needed.

He gently moved Jessa off his chest, watching as she immediately turned towards Jenna. They stuck together like magnets, as usual. Tibial moved outside and smiled as he dug his feet into the sand. He took a deep breath, of the night air tinged with the salty tang of the sea. He tilted his head back, feeling the tension slowly melt from his body. It was nice, to stand out here like this and to listen to the sea's soothing melody, feel the damp sand under his toes, the breeze coming off the ocean stirring his hair.

It was quiet enough for Tibial’s ears to pick up the sound of footsteps crunching over sand and shells, so when an arm slid around his waist, he didn't flinch or jump away. Instead Tibial leaned back, knowing Chad would be there. Chad wrapped both his arms around Tibial's waist. They stood there for a while, standing in a comfortable silence, each one wrapped up in their own thoughts. Finally, Chad bent his head, and gently kissed Tibial's neck. Tibial turned his head, and caught Chad's lips with his own. He kissed Chad hard and deep, turning around in his embrace and pulling him closer. It was a passionate, almost hungry kiss and Chad could feel the urgent desperation in it. He wrapped his arms tighter around Tibial.

Tibial broke the kiss, rested his head on Chad's chest.

"Please," Chad said helplessly. "Please." He didn't even know what he was asking for.

Tibial bowed his head, his forehead heavy against Chad's sternum.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, then stepped back, out of Chad's embrace and went back inside Metta's apartment, leaving Chad alone outside with his lonely thoughts and swollen lips.