Don't Shout - 4. Chapter 4

Wilton yawned and stretched, basking in the sunlight that was only now managing to cut through the earlier fog and mist. It was lunch time and he was waiting next to the truck for Cole to make an appearance. Normally Cole finished first and was waiting for him in the common room but his lanky frame hadn’t been there so Wilton decided to take advantage of the sun. He stood against the truck and strummed softly on his (stunning) guitar, nothing special just little bits and pieces. After a little while he saw Cole emerge from the main building and cross the car park to meet him. He held up a hand in greeting.

“Hey bud. God your brother is such an arse.” Wilton slung his (amazing) guitar over his shoulder and brushed his hair out of his eyes, “Your dad really gave him what for y’know. Where’ve you been?”

“I’m taking a BSL course,” Cole grinned, looking every inch the Western cowboy in the sunlight, the sun striking gold-blond from his hair and tan in his skin, “British Sign Language,” he clarified, seeing Wilton’s confusion. “How was music?”

“Awful, I spent the whole time trying to avoid Shelby. She kept on looking like she wanted to bite my head off.” Wilton scuffed the ground, “Dude I still cannot believe that you’re up and walking and talking. I’d be hanging all day if I’d drunk as much as you.”

“Yeah well,” Cole grinned wickedly, “We all know who the bigger man is don’t we?”

“You’re just freakishly tall. Can eat now, please?” Wilton place his (elegant) guitar reverentially back it its case and hung it over his shoulder. They turned towards the cafeteria. “So what did you learn this morning?”

Cole ran him through his sign lesson as they walked. There was the alphabet, and a bunch of greetings, questions and emotions. The pair were so distracted as they walked that Cole didn’t notice another presence until someone touched his elbow. He turned to see Dina, Jared’s deaf friend. She smiled up at them, her blond curls bouncing around her face. She signed something in the air and Cole shook his head. He waved the two fingered sign for ‘again’ and managed to put a hand to his chin for ‘please.’

Dina repeated the signs, slower this time, and Jared caught ‘you’ and ‘BSL’ and assumed the bit in the middle he didn’t know was probably ‘learning’. He nodded and smiled. Dina gave him a double thumbs up. She gestured for his phone, which he handed over quickly.

Jared will be pleased. Come sit with us at lunch?

Wilton and Cole regarded the message and nodded quickly.

*

Jared had met up with his twin and they had reached an uneasy truce for the sake of their friends and lunch time. He sat with a coronation chicken baguette and a salad opposite his sister. Shelby said something, then tapped his arm and pointed.

‘Look.’

Jared turned and smiled when he saw Dina before a look of shock passed over his face. Dina was grinning happily and was leading a boy in each hand, looking like a cat that got the cream. Following her and exchanging slightly unwilling glances were Cole and his musical friend. Jared turned back to his sister.

‘Oh god,’ her signs were exasperated, ‘What has Dina gone and done now?’

‘What’s the other guy’s name?’

‘Wilton. He plays guitar, we have music together.’

Dina plopped into the seat next to Shelby bringing Wilton with her. He looked confused and she looked excited.

‘Look what I found! Cole is learning to sign.’

Jared turned in shock to Cole who slid carefully into the seat next to him.

‘You’re really learning to sign? Why? Do you like it?’

Cole’s eyes flashed over his hands and then he shook his head. Shelby rolled her eyes and spoke as she signed.

“Jared he doesn’t understand all that. He’s probably only had one lesson.”

‘Sorry’ Jared stopped the sign when Cole put his hand over the fist on his chest and shook his head. Cole started to sign, his movements were good, but slow and stilted.

‘I’m – BSL – slowly.’ It was obvious that he didn’t know the sign for learning, but he smiled and spoke when he signed and Jared managed to get most of the sentence by lip reading, ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good,” Jared smiled back, ‘Hungry,’ he gestured to his lunch, ‘How are you?’

Cole stopped, he looked confused, and Jared realised he probably didn’t have complex signs enough to deal with answering that question in an honest way. Not really wanting his sister to act as translator he got his tablet computer out and put it on the table between them. Cole typed first.

I missed you. We need to talk about the other day.

After lunch?

Cole nodded. Wilton returned from the serving hatch with his and Cole’s lunches and Jared watched in fascinated surprise as Cole tore into the rack of ribs like a starving wolf.

‘Does he not eat the rest of the time?’ Shelby asked. Wilton, eating a sandwich without much fuss, replied after he’d swallowed and faced Jared and Dina so they could lip read/

“You gotta kept the Sathie people fed or they go nuts. I’m kidding,” he added at the look of horror on Dina’s face, “He does a lot of work on the farm, so he eats a lot.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Cole swallowed, wiping his face with the back of his hand and dropped the bones he was holding, “I can hear you y’know.”

‘You live on an actual farm?’ Jared asked. Shelby put her food down and settled into a role as translator for the rest of the session.

Cole smiled, and his leg touched Jared’s under the table.

“Yup. Me and,” he held up the sign for five, “All my siblings. And the horses and dogs.”

Jared smiled, reached out and thumbed sticky rib glaze off Cole’s cheek. It had been a calculated gesture, but he had not been prepared for the sudden stillness in Cole, the perceptible widening of his eyes and Jared own answering erection. Jared realised the conversation at the table had gone on without them as he sat staring at Cole’s face.

He was surprised to find that he had never really looked at Cole before, not properly, but now Cole was still he tracked his eyes all over his face, his hand still resting on the taller boy’s cheek. Cole’s skin was tan three or four shades darker than his own and his messy blond hair fell across eyes a brighter blue than Jared’s own. He had a slim nose, aquiline, and lips cracked from spending too much time in sun and wind and cold. The cheek under Jared’s hand was totally smooth, the line of jaw sharp and clean cut. His eyes were set under thick straight brows and he had wide, high cheek bones. Jared’s mental sweep took all of ten seconds, which was plenty of time for his cock to go from sitting up and taking notice to downright begging. Jared traced the shape of Cole’s lips with one finger and was surprised when Cole pulled away.

Cole pointed to Jared, then to himself before making an unmistakable gesture towards the door. He got up and left with the tall blond man following on his heels. Cole didn’t stop until they were outside the back of the building where he sat on the low brick wall, his back turned towards college, facing the nature reserve. Jared sat next to him and placed his bag by his feet, the tablet still held in his hand.

‘What’s wrong?’ Jared stopped signing when he realised that Cole understood him, but wasn’t responding. Jared got off the wall and hopped down onto the grass. He stood in front of Cole, finding himself about level with the taller boy’s abdomen, looking up into his face. ‘Talk.’ He spelt it out then made a frustrated noise-vibration in his throat, ‘T-A-L-K’

“I can’t do it Jared,” Cole made the sign for his name automatically, “I can just sit there all casual and have you touch me knowing that there’s someone else in your life. Have you any idea what it does to me? It hurts. I feel,” he made the hand shape for bad on each hand and waved them away from himself, “Awful.”

It his pocket Jared’s phone buzzed. Cole fastened his eyes on the device as Jared reached for it.

“Is that him?” Jared gaped as Cole snatched the phone. The message made him shake his head, a mixture of horror and shame and disgust. He handed the phone to Jared and walked off, away from school and into the underbrush of the nature reserve. Jared looked down at the phone.

Joel: bored. blow job?

*

Cole kept walking until he was sure that no one from the college could have shouted and he would have heard them and then slowed his pace as he came upon one of the little grass tracks that wound their way through the reserve. He followed it until he came to on open place with a little timber docking platform for children to stand and use rock-pool nets from and a stream. Cole collapsed on the decking and put his head in his hands.

Jared hadn’t seemed surprised by the message, which probably meant that sex in the middle of the day was not an unheard of occurrence from him. Vivid images of how that love-bite had happened flashed in unholy amounts of detail in Cole’s mind. He couldn’t picture this Joel person, but in the vision the unknown man was smirking at him.

Cole knew that it was unreasonable to be jealous. He and Jared had barely even had four actual conversations and already he’d drank himself stupid because of the guy and stormed off into a field, it wasn’t exactly mature behaviour. What is wrong with me? Cole spent another few minutes feeling sorry for himself before what his mother had said popped up in his skull. Fine, so Jared had some secret lover, Cole would win him over with charm. But who the hell did you charm someone in sign language? As he got up his phone beeped at him, vibrating against his leg.

Jared: cole, i’m sorry. i really need to talk to you. please.

Cole: who is joel?

Jared: don’t…he’s just this guy from school, we used to be sort-of friends

Cole: used to be friends? he still thinks you are friends.

Jared: he’s an idiot.

Cole sighed and stamped his boots on the dock, forcing the moorhen in the reeds to flap hastily away, screeching.

Cole: look can i just tell you something?

Jared: sure. you want to do it over the phone?

Cole: saves me from running away again. i know we don’t know each other very well but i think I like you, but i know i can’t just ‘be your friend’ or anything. so if you and joel are a thing just let me know now. save us both getting hurt.

Jared: no thing. i’m thing-less, it used to be but it’s not now. please come out of the woods.

Cole grinned to himself as he read the message. His heart began to swell in his chest and he swore it was only the distance that kept the damn thing from exploding with emotion.

Cole: no. come find me. hide and seek

Cole dropped the phone back in his boot and grinned. Despite his height and obvious appearance, he’d gotten good at playing hide and seek with his sibling around the farm, hiding in plain sight in fields of young corn, creeping behind horses and sheep and hiding in trees. He’d once spent half an hour under the hood of their father’s Chevy Blazer, waiting it out until he could jump on Clayton blindly searching for him. Now Cole knew he had an advantage. He stepped of the path and jogged through the grasslands until he reached the edge of the trees. There was the definite sound of snapping branches, rustling, and the odd half-sounds he had come to associate with Jared. The deaf boy had no idea how much noise he was making, and Cole didn’t have to worry about moving silently himself. He scrambled up a thick trunked beech tree and hung there on the lowest of the big branches, waiting for Jared. The boy was signing his name with one hand, peering across the landscape as though Cole would just ride up out of the grass. Cole sniggered to himself, hooked his legs over the sturdy branch and let go. He swung down, ruffled Jared’s wavy hair and swung back up out of sight, unless the boy looked directly up of course.

For the last week Cole had wanted to know what those curls would feel like under his hand, so he’d just reached out and…they were like silk, smooth like water. Jared made a drawn out syllable like a growl and span around in circles. Cole stuck his fish in his mouth and sniggered. It was too funny. He curled back down as Jared turned and the boy exploded in frantic hand symbols that Cole didn’t really understand. He smiled. Jared was staring at him and Cole realised to late that his shirt had obeyed gravity and was somewhere mid-chest exposing his stomach for all the world to see, and Jared. The boy typed something onto the tablet and held it up for Cole to see. Cole damn near fell out of the tree in shock.

You’re beautiful.

Cole made a gesture to get Jared to back off, swung up and grabbed the branch, unhooked his legs and dropped down, landing in a crouch. He straightened up and pulled his ridden-up shirt straight again.

‘How are you?’ Jared’s hand signals were slow and clear. Cole replied with something that he hoped could be interpreted as:

‘Better.’

They walked along the grass path in the vague direction of town. Jared’s shoes weren’t really designed for walking in fields, so Cole tramped in the long grass, wetness streaking his jeans. They spoke by typing, and Cole burned to touch the other boy again, but he kept his hands to himself.

I’m sorry you had to see that, Jared sighed as he handed the tablet to Cole to read, I told him it was over. He obviously didn’t get the message.

Not too bright huh?

My sister said the same thing about you.

Yeah, Cole thumbed his jaw which ached dully, about that…

I’ll talk to Shelby. She’s always been really protective of me. Guess when we were younger she needed to be.

Cole stopped the field and frowned at Jared.

And the reason you never told her about this ‘Joel’ guy is?

Jared’s facial expression made up for him being unable to snarl.

I’m not exactly proud of it OK? No one was supposed to find out.

‘Sorry.’ Cole repeated his most familiar hand sign, he held out the tablet and when Jared took it, he made sure to touch the older boy’s fingers. Cole’s pupils went wide and dilated again and Jared smiled.

No more secret men?

‘Please.’ Cole signed as he spoke, “I think I’d have a heart attack.”

So this thing…

I thought you were thingless… Cole smiled to show it was a joke.

Well, is this a thing? Jared gave him time to read the message before taking hold of Cole’s hand, lacing his soft finger in with larger calloused ones. Cole thought his heart was going to jump right out of his mouth, but he managed to smile and keep walking, holding Jared’s hand in his own.

Now all you have to do, his inner voice said, is not screw it up. Good luck.

*

Wilton and Shelby were waiting by the truck when they got back. It still surprised Jared, who treated driving like something scary, that Cole could just start the thing up and be in control. The machine looked like it would eat anyone who came near it. Jared waved to his twin and signed with one hand, not willing to let go of Cole’s hand just yet.

‘You waiting up for me?’

‘Yeah. Where have to been? And what are you doing?’

‘Duh.’

‘Why then?’ Shelby tapped her foot impatiently.

‘I like him. Get used to it.’

“Dude,” Wilton made sure to face them both when he spoke, “We are really really late for anthropology.”

“I was…busy,” Cole spoke, but he signed too. Me, you. Jared smiled and finally let go of Cole’s hand. Cole grinned.

Point at Jared, point from one side to the other, point to himself; internationally recognised symbol for drinking.

‘Do you wanna go for a drink with me?’

Jared nodded enthusiastically. Cole gave him the thumbs up, grabbed Wilton’s shoulder and took off running.

Shelby looked disappointed, but Jared didn’t care. All he had to do now was get rid of Joel and it would be plain sailing from here on out.

During English Jared prepped a bunch of stuff on his tablet for him and Cole to use. He got out a new conversation page, a canvas drawing page with a bunch of coloured brush options, and some games. The idea of being able to talk to Cole with his hands excited him. Cole was taking BSL lessons so he could communicate easier. If Jared had needed any signs to show that the boy cared, it was done. Just as seminar let out his phone buzzed and he walked with Abi in silence down towards the library and Classics.

2 new messages

:Joel

:Cole

Joel: what gives dude? got bored of waiting for you. call me

Cole: i need to tell you something, i’m not sure how to say it. you might freak out

Jared considered both messages. Joel he could just ignore until he actually became an issue. For now Jared just re labelled his contact from ‘Joel’ to ‘Do Not Answer.’ He finished his message to Cole just as the lecture started and had to rush to get all his gear set up before pressing send.

Jared: tell me anything. i promise not to get weird

The lecture was excellent a guest speaker in to talk about Greek mythologies impact on art and architecture through the ages. Jared flicked between the images that she showed them and Abi’s hand signals, trying to keep up, and didn’t even notice his phone until just before they were finished. He packed away his notes and books, taking the hand out and turning off the voice-to-tape recorder and backing up the file onto his tablet. The phone’s green notification light blinked at him.

Cole: i’ve never kissed anyone. or done anything else either. and I think I want to kiss you. forgive me for being such a loser?

Jared smiled to himself and saved the text message to his tablet. He wanted to make sure he kept it so he could tease Cole with it at some indeterminate point in the future.

*

Cole paced up and down in front of his truck. It had been over an hour since he’d sent the text, and no reply was forthcoming. Maybe Jared had freaked out and wasn’t coming. Maybe he thought it was funny. They hadn’t actually arranged anywhere to meet, but since everyone seemed to know where his truck was these days, Cole had figured on a safe bet. He was not banking on the lazy drawl of Jake Patterson.

“Hey there Farm-Boy. Heard you turned out to be a faggot.”

Cole rolled his eyes and clenched his fist, short nails digging into his palm. In a house with three brothers and having been in at least some sort of physical contact fight with every mechanic and brute-hand on the farm, Cole was much more used to settling disagreements the easy way. Somehow he figured that Jared probably wouldn’t be too impressed by that.

“Fuck off Jake.” He replied genially.

“And I mean what’s with the truck,” Jake stood there and grabbed his own crotch through his jeans, “Making up for something are we?”

“I’d shut your mouth if I were you Jake.”

“Really?” Jake sneered, “What’re you gonna do, shut it for me with your tiny little dick?”

Cole felt himself losing his grip on staying focused.

“I’ll whup your arse buck naked if I have to boy.” Cole snarled.

Jake obviously hadn’t grown up in a pack. He either failed to recognise the threat or he didn’t care. Or he was too stupid to have any sense of self-preservation when it came to picking fights with alpha males who were stronger than he was. Jake swung, the lazy muscle-boy jock-style punch of cocky little shits everywhere and Cole simply ducked and jabbed, his knuckles striking the lower portion of Jake’s ribs and compressing bone and muscle, skin, flesh and organ for a moment before Jake staggered back.

“Fuck off Jake.” Jake decided to be smart and, clutching at his ribs, walked away with his shoulders hunched. Cole shook the punch out of his hand and leant back against the Hilux just fast enough to be looking cool and nonchalant when Jared rounded the corner.

Cole waved hello and smiled. Jared didn’t slow down, didn’t stop, and walked right up to him, bold as brass and before Cole had any time to process anything at all the brunette had a hand either side of his face and was kissing him for all he was worth. Cole felt the metal against his back, Jared’s stubble grazing his skin, his tongue wet and smooth and hot in his mouth. The softness of his full lips, the accidental clash of teeth. His own erection pressed against Jared’s stomach, his was pushed against Cole’s thigh. Cole found himself responding, his reaction to the kiss automatic and hungry. Jared only broke the kiss when he thought that Cole might be running out of air.

Then he held up the un-sent text reply on his phone.

Jared: will that do for a first try?

Cole knew he wore a grinner bigger than his truck, but at that moment, it didn’t matter, because Jared was smiling and the sun shone from him. Cole motioned to the truck.

‘Get in.’

Watching Cole drive was fascinating to Jared. They couldn’t talk, since Cole didn’t know enough hand signals to do them one handed and Jared couldn’t lip read well from this angle. Before Cole had started the car vibrating like crazy he had gestured to the stereo and Jared had motioned that he didn’t mind. Now he watched Cole sing along to whatever was playing through the speakers in the truck, and manipulate the huge vehicle like it was an extension of himself. The inside of the Hilux was not exactly plush, but it was an American model with a right hand gear stick and a long bench seat. Jared sat sort of in the middle close enough to touch Cole without actually touching him, and wondered where they were going.

Cole parked the truck out the front of his favourite pub and bought a ticket for the windshield. Jared had never been in a pub without his parents before but Cole walked in like he owned the place, so Jared followed him, trying not to look under-age. Cole leant his long frame against the bar, arms crossed on the shiny wooden surface from elbow to elbow, chatting to the man behind the bar. Jared took the opportunity to stare at Cole without the pressure of the taller man’s eyes on him. Cole’s body was long, every part of him seemingly stretched, from the lengthy jean-clad legs to the long ripple of his spine. Cole’s clothes were not designed to show him off, but they did anyway, his legs encased by the blue denim were trumped only by the perfect roundness of his butt. To Jared, Cole was perfect in that moment.

The man at the bar with the Mohawk said something Jared didn’t catch and gestured towards him. Cole turned, his eyes smiling and summer blue and Jared walked up to the bar in time to see Cole sign.

‘This is Jared.’ The man behind the bar started to say something as he turned and Cole reached out a hand to stop him, ‘He’s deaf.’ He must have added something about lip reading because the barman faced Jared, smiled and said.

“Any friend of Cole’s is a friend of ours. I’m Tony, what’ll you be drinking?” Jared turned to Cole, totally unsure of what he should order, and not sure how to say it. Tony began to pour a long pint of red beer for Cole and Jared asked him what it was. Cole proffered the full pint to the smaller boy who sipped it gingerly. The beer was sweet and tasted like strawberries. Jared nodded and Cole got Tony to pour another pint. Thy sat at a small square table by the back window and looked out onto the cold garden. In summer Jared through it would be lovely to sit in the dappled shade of the big oak tree. He would be eighteen by then, and able to enjoy his pint with Cole legally. Not that tony seemed to mind, or even check for ID. Cole obviously knew what was thinking because he grabbed the tablet when Jared got it out and wrote an explaination.

Tony knows my family really well. The mechanics have been bringing me here to drink for years.

Mechanics? Jared moved their drinks to the side, so that he could see Cole better.

“Yeah, at the farm. I live up at Black Rock farm, you know with the big stones.”

Jared signed for Cole to tell him again and gestured to the tablet. Cole plugged the machine into the wifi and pulled up a picture of the gates of the house.

You LIVE there?

Cole nodded.

It’s amazing.

It’s fine. I like it. lots of people don’t.

They’re crazy. Jared signed after he’d typed it, moving his finger around his head to describe insanity.

It’s a lot of work

They talked about Cole’s duties up on the farm and Jared began to teach him the signs for some of them, things he hadn’t been shown in class; like horse, feed, chickens, truck, hay, ploughing, dogs. Cole signed like a child, and Jared had to stop himself from correcting every little detail. They were most of the way down their pints before Cole turned back to the tablet. He found the paint pad and picked out a red pen to draw the word.

KISS

Jared smiled in a self-satisfied manner.

How did you get this far in life without getting kissed? He typed, but he smiled at Cole, reaching out to touch his hand. Cole spoke when he replied, his voice low, but his lip movements clear.

“Have you ever met anyone gay who is anything like me? All the guys at school were all into theatre and dance and fashion and wouldn’t even give me the time of day as a friend. I’m a farm-boy,” Cole gritted his teeth as he said it and Jared saw the flash of pain and anger flit across his face, “I have no idea what being gay means if you’re like me.”

Jared didn’t know what to say, and when Cole stood up he began to panic. Cole motioned to him to stay where he was.

‘Drink?’

Jared nodded and watched him slink around tables towards the bar. When Cole returned with another strawberry beer and a pint of cola Jared had an answer for him.

‘Be yourself. Life is way too damn short to try and be anyone else.’

‘I like that.’ Cole sipped at his cola, ‘You enjoying the fruli?’

‘Yeah. You not drinking?’

Cole gestured to the front of the pub, then made a steering wheel motion with his hands. Jared nodded.

“So,” Cole sighed heavily, Jared felt the movement on his face. Cole’s fingers walked softly across the table, closer and closer to his hands, “This kissing thing…”

‘Yeah?’

“Can we do that again?”

Jared grinned and stood, motioning for Cole to go with him. Cole drained his pint and Jared stared at the undulating movement of his throat, the soft sheen of escaped liquid glittering down his neck. Jared gulped audibly. Unused to the alcohol as he was, Jared through it rude to leave so much, and he drank his pint quickly, but not nearly so cleanly as Cole had. As he set his glass on the table the beer buzzed around his skull and he felt suddenly dizzy. It passed and he held out a hand to Cole as the taller boy stood.

It was later than Jared had thought from the darkness outside, and he wasted no time in pulling Cole towards him, his own back pressed against the passenger door of the truck to kiss him. He made it light, just a touch of lips, and when Cole didn’t push for more Jared began to worry. He pulled back and watched as Cole’s eyes grew only slightly less intense. The tall boy drew away from him, doing something to his phone as he strode around the truck to get in on his side. Cole handed the phone to Jared as he started the engine.

Cole: sorry. i just don’t know what to do. i’ve only ever had that one kiss. don’t be mad.

Jared smiled to himself, not knowing how the light from the screen lit up his face for Cole to see. He handed the phone back and Cole glanced at it quickly before he pulled away.

Jared: don’t worry, i’ll teach you J

Jared had to use the sat nav on his tablet to guide Cole to his house, as trying to give signalled direction in the dark wasn’t especially clever. He wished he could talk to Cole, and for the first time in a long time, cursed his disability and the fact that unlike other people, he couldn’t talk and do something else at the same time. It was deeply frustrating.

Cole pulled up outside his house and killed the engine, the truck going still beneath them. Jared undid his seat belt and slid across the bench seat to Cole, who sat staring at him with eyes big with lust, his fingers picking at the knees of his jeans. Jared chuckled to himself to see him nervous. He knew he’d made a sound, his throat vibrated, but he couldn’t tell if it bothered Cole or not. Well, he thought to himself, you said you were going to teach the poor thing…

Jared put a hand at the back of Cole’s neck, surprised at how soft and silky his hair was and found Cole’s hands resting in his lap. Jared put Cole’s hands around his waist, pulled himself in closer and put a hand flat over Cole’s chest. His heart was beating triple-time under his shirt and his eyes were huge in the half darkness of the dashboard. Carefully, by inches, Jared leant forwards, connected to Cole from hip to shoulder, moving slow enough to allow Cole to mirror him, tilt his head, move forwards and part his lips. Jared kissed him softly, making himself hold back to taste the rough sweetness of Cole’s lips. He flicked out his tongue, just enough to let Cole know it was OK, and smiled in his skull to find Cole’s tongue wanting to explore his own mouth. Lips parted further, tongues met and twirled and then Jared found himself pulled fully against Cole, the big work-rough hands hard on his back, in the dip of his spine and he felt Cole’s groan as the taller boy vibrated against him.

They broke the kiss only when Jared felt himself start to go dizzy with the lack of oxygen in his system and the lack of blood in his brain. He kissed Cole softly, less urgently, many little touches as he scratched at the back of his neck. Cole’s body thrummed with something Jared assumed was a happy noise and leant into his hand. Eventually Jared pulled away and motioned to the house.

‘I have to go.’

Cole nodded, he was smiling, and Jared watched fascinated as his chest heaved and shook. Jared hated to leave, but he got out of the truck, jumping down to the road and walked around to Cole’s side and craned his neck to stare up into the cab of the truck. Cole blew kisses and watched Jared turn to walk into the house.

*

Cole plugged something cute and romantic and country into the speakers as he drove through the night, headlights shining across early rising bunny rabbits and quick silent foxes as he left down. His heart flew. Kissing Jared was amazing, better even than Cole possibly through anything could be, a sensation like molten lava that had flowed through him at once forest-fire fast and slow and lazy at the same time, turning every nerve into an erotically burned charge. Jared’s tongue had coursed electricity through each one of those charges, setting him off like a string of fire crackers at New Years. Cole could imagine nothing as perfect as that. He hated to leave.

He got home just in time to recuse his shepherd’s pie and peas from his brother’s gaping maw and could only grin like a happy idiot when they asked him where he’d been. It was already late, so by the time Cole had been back to see to the horses and skip out before pulling down the beds and saying goodnight to Dune it was near enough bed time and Cole was tired. The soft Jared-lust of near sleep beckoned, and fled as soon as Cole walked into his room. On his bed was a pair of pink pyjamas, obviously stolen from his sister’s room. Hot anger flared up under the happy cloud Cole had been drifting in and he felt his tolerance for his siblings antics snap. He grabbed the offending item and strode from the room.

The door to Clayton and Caden’s room slammed open and banged against the hinges and the wall as Cole marched in. He threw the pink material at Caden then snatched up Clayton, holding him by the front of his sleep t-shirt.

“You incomparable little shit.”

“Hey Cole,” Caden’s voice was almost evil, “What’s the matter? We thought you might prefer them given your new taste in gay-boys.”

Cole dropped his next-youngest brother without a second thought and snarled at Caden.

“You make me beat it into you too?” Cole crossed the room in three quick strides, and his arm curled back automatically. Before he could reel off and hit his brother a plaintive voice from the doorway stopped him mid-step.

“Cole don’t…” Chase stood there in his pyjamas. At eleven his was still young enough to have them patterned with superheroes and was also carrying a neon blue toothbrush in one hand.

“I told you it was a stupid idea!” Clayton threw a pillow at Caden, who slapped it away.

Cole took a deep breath, letting the tension reel out from him as Chase put a hand in his.

“Don’t hit him Cole, he’s stupid but he might grow out of it with time.”

“Hey!”

“You don’t get an opinion Caden,” Cole snapped quickly, “You’re lucky to still be standing there.”

“Now what’s going on here then?” William Sathie stopped at the door to his son’s room, “All my pups in one place. How unusual.”

There was a quick chorus of half sentences, all spoken in a desperate I-didn’t-do-it and it-wasn’t-my-fault tone.

“Stop,” All four boys ceased at the one word from their father, “I gather that since Cory cannot find her favourite jim-jams and they seem to be here that this has something to do with what Cole told us all this morning?”

Cole nodded and when Caden tried to speak again his growled.

“I see. Now boys, let me ask you something. Does your brother look any different?”

“No.” the reply was grudging.

“Does he act any different?”

“No.” Clayton was pulling his shirt straight, knowing all too well how close he had come to being first point of Cole’s rage.

“Why therefore do you assume he is any different?” William put his hands on his hips, nearly satisfied that he had gotten through to his brood.

“He’s gay. I bet he secretly likes theatre and fashion.” Caden’s tone was whiny.

“Do I look like I like fashion?” Cole asked in disbelief.

“Well…er…”

“Can I go to bed now in the knowledge you’ll always be a prat?” Cole sighed and turned. He squeezed Chase’s hand and walked him back to the room he shared with Cory, “Thanks little buddy.”

“Your welcome.” Cole gave his brother a hug and a big bear scoop for Cory to make her giggle before going back to his room. He stripped and got into bed in his boxers and lay staring at the ceiling in the dark. His phone buzzed.

Jared: thinking of you

There was an image attached and when Cole opened it his saw sure his pupils were the same size as the lit screen. Jared stared back at him from his phone. The picture was dark, Jared obviously only being illuminated by the light of the phone. He was lying in bed, and the sheets were low enough to show it was the only thing covering him. His hair was messy and his eyes were sultry and satisfied like he’d just finished jerking-off. Cole’s heart squeezed inside his chest. Jared’s chest was defined and perfect, his pecs showing a fine layer of dark fur that spread from his breast-bone and down in an ever thinning trail to the sheet.

Cole gulped as he felt himself harden beneath the sheets. Jared was thinking of him. he looked tousled and sex-satisfied, and had been thinking of Cole. Cole found the camera on his phone, turned the light on and pull the sheets down to his waist to take a similar photo. He gave the imagined Jared in his head his most winning smile, then thought better of it. he smiled, thinking of Jared naked in bed, dreaming of him and took the photo. Before he could really think about it he pressed send, too scared to doubt if the action was a good one.