Don't Shout - 5. Chapter 5

Carla Sathie lay in bed and fretted about her sons. Her husband had been gruff and annoyed when he had arrived from the bathroom fresh from brushing his teeth and after much cajoling had relayed to her the events he had uncovered in Clayton and Caden’s bedroom. Cole’s announcement had shocked everyone to varying degrees, but the two middle brothers seemed most affected. Cory was too young to understand, and as the only girl, idolised her eldest brother like a god. Chase was not yet a teenager, and hormones had not yet taken her youngest boy away from her and into the grunting uncommunicative grip of puberty. It was the middle children, both discovering girls as well as themselves, who had reacted most strongly, and most vehemently.

Carla lay and stared at her sleeping husband. William had the strange blessing of being able to fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, despite whatever was on his mind. His wife did not have that blessing. In the dark Carla got up, wrapped herself in her fleecy dressing gown and sheep-skin slippers and went out into the house’s upper hall way. When they had moved to Black Rock farm the house had been the only structure, and there hadn’t been a single fence in any of the fields. By main force and with three small children and Cole only ten but demanding to help anyway they had turned the hollowed out waste of the farm into the thriving business it was eight years later. In her head Carla could still see Cole helping his father put up fence posts, directing his two younger brother’s to fetch him tools and nails while Chase, only a baby and not even walking, had gaggled and gurgled from his play pen. Now she had her oldest son close to striking his brother’s, and Carla wondered where all that love and happiness had gone.

Cole’s revelation had been a shock, but it had not been one hundred percent unexpected by his mother. Cole’s general lack of interest in girls where his younger brothers were almost more keen than many would consider healthy had been a big clue to his mother. Carla was convinced that something to do with proximity to engines made all the men on the farm notice things a little less than they would otherwise, and the mechanics were the worst. She stood in the doorway of the middle sons shared room and sighed. She had been surprised and but genuinely pleased by Cole’s coming-out. Whatever makes them happy… it was all she had ever wanted for her boys, and for Cory, was for them to be happy in whatever they did. She knew already for example, that Caden, fourteen, rebellious and fast-paced, would not stay with the farm. He would leave as soon as he could for some hectic city life. It was as clear to Carla as the shape of her children’s faces. Did she want to Caden to leave? Of course not, but she wanted him to be happy, the same as Cole.

Cole did not fit her idea of a gay teenager, but Carla knew through lack of experience more than anything else, that the template in her head was not what all gay people would be like. Cole was just himself, the same sweet, careful and conscientious hot-blooded young man he had been yesterday. Hi sexual preference changed nothing. No, he would never meet a nice girl and settle down to have kids, she would get no blood-grandchildren from him. but that mean he wouldn’t meet a nice boy and settle down to be happy and maybe adopt. And with five children the chances of some grandchildren were high. Carla hated to admit it, she knew it made her sound overly feminine and sappy, but she did want to hear the patter of little feet in the farm again one day.

Caden and Clayton would have to be sorted out first. Carla watched her boys sleeping, remembering times when they had be younger, more innocent, and would have maybe accepted Cole just as Chase had done, without argument, teasing or question. Carla returned to the master bedroom and snuggled up into bed beside her husband. William turned, wrapped one arm around his wife and snuffled in her ear, completely obvious in his sleeping state. Well, Caden and Clayton had been chastised enough for now, Carla decided that she would deal with them later, and went back to sleep.

*

Jared woke up from a dream in which he could hear Cole’s voice to the motion of his vibrating phone. He had fallen asleep with it his hand, the sweet shy-sexy photo of Cole burned into his mind like a fire brand. It had delighted and surprised him to receive the image back, and Jared had saved it and backed it up on the tablet straight away so he could stare at Cole’s image on a bigger screen. The older boy obviously didn’t knew he was beautiful, deeply sexy and delicious to look at, or he wouldn’t have looked so unsure in the photograph. Jared clicked the phone open expecting to find something sweet from the man he was beginning to think of as his boyfriend.

Do not Answer (Joel): hey there sexy boy. you been running out on me with a tall farm-boy?

Jared scowled and managed to resist the urge to thrown the device across the room. He thought of ignoring the text, but the idea of Cole being there when Joel sent something else inappropriate made him shiver.

Jared: fuck off, I don’t want to see you again, stop texting me

The reply buzzed back within minutes

Do not Answer (Joel): bet you won’t say that while I suck you off. Come meet me in the reading room during second period

Jared scowled. Apparently polite suggestions hadn’t worked and now rude ones were being ignored. Jared wondered if he could actually scare Joel off completely. Sighing, he got up and got dressed, keeping the soft-lit photo of Cole open on his tablet to watch him while he selected black jeans and a dark grey shirt with a blue stripe.

‘Matches your eyes,’ Shelby greeted him as he came downstairs and offered freshly jammed toast, ‘Breakfast?’

Jared took the proffered baked item and went to fridge to pour himself a glass of milk. On his return to the table his sister was waiting to talk to him.

‘You were back late last night. Did you go out with Cole?’

Jared nodded, munching, wary of where his twin’s train of thought was going.

‘Did you have fun?’

Jared swallowed and smiled as he replied.

‘More than I could know.’

‘Is he good to you? He’s not going to,’ Shelby’s hand signals stilled as she tried to come up with a word that she could associate with her sibling without retching, ‘Force you or anything?’

‘He’s clueless,’ Jared signed before he could stop himself, ‘It’s so adorable. Don’t tell him I said that!’

Shelby giggled, a hand over her eyes.

‘Why am I so not surprised? Come on little brother, we gotta go fetch that bus.’

‘You’re OK with this?’ Jared frowned. His sister was nothing of not stubborn, and this was a very quick U-turn for her. Shelby grinned from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat and waggled her fingers around her head before she signed.

‘Better the devil you know.’

*

Cole’s truck was sitting in its usual spot outside college, looking oversized and out of place and it made Jared smile and shiver as he ran his fingers along the edge of the bonnet. He could just see the truck parked in some distant field, a blanket in the flat bed back and he and Cole kissing and writhing. Jared’s finger nails tapped the bull bars and he closed his eyes to imagine being bent over the cold metal, Cole taking him fast and rough from behind. Jared only realised he’d moaned aloud when he opened his eyes to see his sister staring at him in horror and fascinated delight. Jared had just given her one more thing in her arsenal of taunts and teases.

“Oh Jared…” she shook her head, speaking without signing, “You bad thing.”

Jared looked everywhere for Cole as he moved through the college buildings, his eyes searching out that tall form with the continually tousled blond hair like he’d just gotten out of bed. But Jared’s didn’t find him. During first period English he kept checking the image on his tablet, fascinated by the shape of Cole, smooth and hairless, smiling like he didn’t know what to do, was hardly daring to take the photo and send it. Jared wanted to kiss him again, part those beautiful chapped lips and swell them with the force of his passion. His was pleased for the dull subject matter of the lesson because he was overwhelming horny in a way he’d never felt before, especially in the middle of the morning.

As soon as the class ended his phone bleeped and Jared waved Abi off excitedly hoping to find a message from Cole. No such luck.

Do not Answer (Joel): i’m a waiting on you babes

Jared snarled in his own head and kicked at the ground, scuffing his shoe. Joel was obviously completely unaffected by his hints and direct instructions. Sighing, Jared turned and made his way to the library. Joel was standing just where he had been before, looking lazy and sexy and delicious and Jared didn’t respond to his smile. He stood at the end of the aisle, making sure he was in public view and sent a text reply to Joel.

Jared: please stop texting me. lose this number. i don’t want to see you.

Do not Answer (Joel): what?

Joel strode forwards along the stack, his fingers catching at the spines of books, his torso swaying as he moved in a way Jared had found sexy. Now Joel deliberate attempts at seduction made him angry. When Joel reached out to touch him Jared threw up his hands to ward him off.

‘No!’ he knew Joel couldn’t understand the signs but made them anyway, ‘I have a boyfriend now. I don’t want to see you.’

Joel slapped his hands away, not interested in the explanation that he couldn’t understand and Jared struggled against the taller boy’s grip. Jowl was speaking, his attitude so hard that Jared couldn’t make out the lip patterns, though his facial expression was angry, frustrated, vicious. It was obviously pointless, Joel who had never been interested in him as a person, couldn’t let go now he was being denied sexual favours. Jared went from seeing the man in front of him as a sex object to a petulant child in the middle of a tantrum in the time it took Joel to stop speaking. Jared tried to pull away and found his wrists caught by Joel, who had always been stronger than he looked. Jared couldn’t stop the hand signals as he struggled ineffectually, the words coming out blurred and half formed even to himself.

‘No, don’t-I don’t want, get-no, get off- let go!’

But the hearing word was oblivious to his struggles and Jared felt himself grunt in pain as Joel pressed himself up against him, gripped his jaw hard enough to force his teeth and lips apart before plundering his mouth. Joel was too strong and Jared wriggled in his grasp, trying to twist himself out of the unwanted kiss. Joel’s tongue was in his mouth, forcing its way into him and he tasted of un-brushed teeth and coffee. Jared found a hand free and tried to push Joel away but it was no use. He bit the other boy’ tongue and when he tasted blood knew he had won.

Joel snapped away from him, spitting and screaming and swearing. Jared spat a mixture of Joel’s blood and saliva at him and turned away. Cole stood at the entrance to the library in full view, a yellow and black book in his hand, and a look of horror on his face. Before Jared could sign or do anything Joel had brushed past him with an angry sneer. Jared was sure they were being shouted at by the library staff but he didn’t care. Joel said something to Cole because the tan boy visibly paled and before Jared could reach him he had turned to walk away. Joel stood there with a self-satisfied look on his face, blood staining his lips.

Jared phone buzzed as he stood there feeling at once triumphant and dejected.

Do not Answer (Joel): i’ll forgive you biting, i kinda liked it. he won’t be forgiving you anytime soon.

Jared: what the fuck did you say to him?

Jared hated to be held up by texting Joel but the look on Cole’s face scared him. He didn’t want to go out there and face him with an anger and disappointment like that.

Do not Answer (Joel): nothing that wasn’t true. come here and blow me and we’ll forget all about him.

Jared snarled, he felt the vibration in his throat, and pushed past Joel forcefully, not allowing the other boy to get his claws into him again. Facing Cole would be scary, but going outside to find him and the big truck gone would be worse. Jared ran.

The big Toyota Hilux was not in its space and Jared panicked. Cole had gone, left, vanished into thin air and disappeared without him because of something Joel had said. Jared turned and ran out of the car park, turning the corner into the road quick enough to walk straight into someone. He didn’t have time to stop and apologise, merely skidded on his leather shoes, and ran down the road, heart thudding in his ears. The road outside college had the benefit of being straight and Jared saw the Hilux near the roundabout at the end nearest to town, the truck was too big to miss. His feet pounded the pavement, his breath was cold and hard and painful. Jared did not do a huge amount of exercise, especially not running and his lungs burned with the effort.

When he was within fifty yards of the truck he realised that the vehicle was stationary. Jared ran to the driver’s side door and flung it open to look up at Cole with tears in his eyes.

*

Cole killed the engine and let the Hilux roll to the stop on the road, half pulling over as he did so, not that it made much difference with the truck as wide as it was. Tears streamed down his face, and no amount of sniffing, wiping or pressing at his eyes seemed to make a difference. Cole pulled on the handbrake and put his head in his hands hearing Joel’s words rocket around his skull like a rubber bullet.

“We fuck in here most day’s you know…”

Cole gritted his teeth against a sob and a little part of him stopped to wonder why he was surprised. Jared was cool, confident, experienced. He was not. Anyone with sense could have foretold something like this happening. Cole had come fresh for his BSL class to find Jared kissing him, kissing Joel, and he had turned around with such a look of triumph until he’d seen Cole. He had blood on his mouth…his inner voice said, Was he kissing Joel? Are you sure?

Cole snarled at himself in his head, too wrapped up in his pain to want to think rationally, that maybe he had overreacted, not seen what was actually going on. It was about then That Jared flung open the car door and Cole had to thank the seatbelt for stopping him from falling out of the car and onto the boy in a collapsed mess.

Jared was crying, his tear streaked face to match Cole’s own, and his hands flashed so fast that Cole could barely follow the symbols he didn’t even understand, distracted by the urgent half-syllables that Jared’s lips formed. Cole remember those lips, kissing Jared, the deep almost spicy taste of him, like cinnamon and pimento and something else that was just him. Cole unbuckled his seat belt to get down and was surprised when Jared put a hand on either side of the door frame and hoisted himself up into the cab. The smaller boy ended up sitting mostly in his lap, his back pressed along Cole’s right side as the older boy found his arm instantly coming around the back of Jared’s neck. Cole was shocked at how well they fit together, locking into place like a jigsaw.

‘I’m sorry.’

Cole took Jared’s hand softly and then wrapped his arms around the boy. He placed his lips on Jared’s neck, on the opposite side to the fading love-bite, and concentrated on the heartbeat which echoed against his own.

“Shhh…” he murmured automatically, knowing that Jared could neither hear nor lip read the words, “No apologising.”

Jared pressed back against him, responding to the vibration of his voice and Cole found himself kissing the soft skin of Jared’s neck. Lust took over his body automatically, his brain worn down with worry and stress and tears. Cole allowed his hands to roam over Jared’s torso, feeling his washboard stomach, his calloused fingers snagging on the soft fabric of Jared’s shirt. Jared moaned, angling his head to allow Cole better access to his neck and Cole continued kissing upwards, his lips grazing stubble along Jared’s jaw line. The sound of the truck’s horn jolted Cole out of his lust-filled haze.

Jared leant away from him, turning, and Cole moved his hand from the centre of the steering wheel. He gestured to the wheel, pointed to Jared and made the symbol for headache by putting four fingers flat to his forehead, then tugging at his ear. He didn’t know the symbol for noise but figured that would do. Cole tried to shift his weight, adjust the hardness constricted by his jeans and gulped, his whole body still and thrumming like a guitar string when Jared noticed. Cole was almost relieved when Jared broke his gaze to get the tablet out of his bag.

I’m sorry. Please don’t cry anymore.

Tell me. Cole typed back one handed, keeping his other arm looped softly around Jared’s waist. What happened?

He didn’t like that I would be with him anymore. I bit his tongue.

Clever. Cole sighed and caught his fingers in Jared’s shirt, I don’t like that you were with him. Why did you go to him?

Jared picked at his cuticles and signed when he answered. Cole waved two fingers for ‘again’ and pointed to the tablet.

I told him not to call me. I told him to go away.

He didn’t like that. Cole felt his hand tighten in Jared’s shirt. He was surprised at his possessiveness, the angry beating of his heart and the thought of Jared with someone else.

No. Cole? Jared put the tablet down and moved in Cole’s lap so that he was nearly facing him. Jared wriggling in the confined space of the cab did interesting things to Cole’s anatomy. Cole watched the signs carefully and got Jared to repeat them.

Pointing at Cole; pointing at himself; drawing a straight horizontal finger across his chin; two hands shaking; a question mark drawn in the air. You; me; boy; friend;?

“Yes!” Cole signed and spoke and tried to hug Jared all at once, which made the smaller boy tap the horn with his elbow once again. Cole wanted to reach forward and kiss him, but he was unsure, caution and inexperience getting the better of his desire. Jared took his chin and Cole felt himself blush through his tan. Jared was too close to sign anything but Cole spoke to him, his lips still moving when Jared’s closed over them. “I can’t believe I get to be with you…”

Cole groaned into Jared’s mouth as the brunette began to scratch at the back of this skull. Every muscle in him went slack, except one, and Cole felt Jared’s body respond to him, pressing against his chest. Eventually Jared broke the kiss with a smile and slid from Cole’s lap to the passenger seat. He held up the tangle of leather and webbing that was Dune’s dually halter and drew a question mark in the air.

You want to come with me?

*

Shelby sat with Drew and Lena under the stairs working her way through a chicken mustard salad, for once eating instead of translating. Dina had art club duty day lunch, looking after primary children from the local school for the day and Shelby hadn’t seen Jared since the morning. Shelby tried not to fret. She knew, with the clarity of self-awareness that is the curse of clever people everywhere, that she was deeply over-protective of his twin. Her parents thought it a twin thing, many people thought that she was a good sister to look out for her deaf brother, but Shelby knew that her love for her twin was in no way selfless.

Jared had nearly died when they were little. The Parker twins were five, Shelby was bright, outgoing, always into everything, loud and boisterous; Jared was still super-shy, not often able to express himself fluently, still learning the language which he would use to communicate to the outside world. Shelby hadn’t learnt to sign. She loved her brother, they were close, but they didn’t really talk.

A day out with both their parents was a treat even at that age and Shelby skipped ahead as they wandered around the working farm, getting into everything, chasing after chickens and have her hands licked by soft-eyed jersey calves. Jared had stayed close to their parents, walking with his mother, at that time the only one of them who could sign with any confidence. He hadn’t wanted to go near the big cows in the milking shed, but their mother had encouraged him and Shelby had grabbed his hand in hers and led him away from their parents.

The man in the cow shed had been nice and smiley and talked to them and the other assembled children like they were important. When he has showed them the milking apparatus and then let them stroke the heads of the big cows as the lowed in the shed Shelby had let go of her twin and hurried forwards to be involved. Jared of course hadn’t heard the instructions about staying close, about not straying into the yellow hatched areas of the milking shed. Jared had wandered off.

They’d all heard his yell, the strangled half syllables, the wordless shout of horror and surprise, and Shelby had arrived before in time to see her brother being trampled by a less than friendly young bullock.

Jared been lucky, more than lucky, miracle lucky. Bruised ribs and a half collapsed lung. Hoof print bruises on his chest, hands somehow untouched , face fine. Shelby had cried the whole time Jared had been in hospital, her parents had told her it was her fault, but Shelby hadn’t let go of her twins hand since.

Her phone vibrated violently, bleeping from her bag.

Jared: gone with cole. tell mum won’t be home for dinner x

Shelby’s nostrils flared. Her brother had gone off with that tall farm-hand again. She wanted to be happy for her twin, but she didn’t like Cole. The boy was rash, too intense too quickly, and like friends Jared had made at school, Shelby thought he would lose interest once it got too hard. Once the shine wore off.

Shelby: again?! j, where have you gone?

Jared: he’s taking me too the farm

Shelby: mum will throw a fit. will you be home tonight?

Jared: don’t know. cover for me

*

The sight of Black Rock Farm in the afternoon sun was impressive. The stones at the entranceway gleamed from their rain wash, keeping them scrubbed free of lichen and moss was one of Caden’s jobs, and the farm seemed to unroll in the front of the truck in a series of loops, the long driveway weaving through fields and paddocks, the farm buildings clustered and scattered in the green. Horses and sheep grazed in the fields and Cole’s heart soared to be home.

Nowhere ever felt like this, coming home, however long he’d been away, always felt like coming home. Regardless of whether he left for college or for an hour, Cole always felt better when he was at home. Now he let the truck idle as he drove, allowing Jared to stare and take in everything he saw. Jared pointed and made strange noises but Cole could tell by the timbre of what he was starting to recognise as his ‘voice’ that he was excited. He parked the truck up by the stable yard and got out of the cab to be greeted by a cacophony of over joyous barking.

“Boys, boys, boys!” Cole crouched to fuss over the mess of spaniels, “Where’s our Alpha then kids?” Cole straightened as he heard his mother’s voice over the now calming din.

“Down Biba! Shush Bolo! Hey there pup, you’re back early.” Carla Sathie stroked the dogs as they returned to her, then busied themselves rotting around in the yard’s car park, “And you brought a friend… Hello there.”

Jared got down from the cab not quite visibly shaking and Cole almost ran back to him to touch is arm.

‘Sorry.’ Cole smiled, ‘This is my mum.’ Cole positioned his body so that Jared could see him but his mother knew he was speaking to her. ‘Mum this is Jared. He’s deaf’ “Speak clearly so he can read your lip patterns.”

“Oh, I see,” Carla smiled and held out her hand, “Welcome to the farm Jared, it’s nice to meet you. You boys going to ride today then pup?”

‘Yeah.’ “Can Jared stay for dinner?”

“Of course,” Carla smiled, “Jared is there anything you don’t eat?”

‘No. Thank you.’

“See you boys later. Come on pups!” Carla waved to them, called the dogs to heel and headed off with a bucket of sheep nuts in the direction of the spring lambs.

‘Riding?’ Jared asked, repeating the sign a couple of times, fist over fist until Cole understood. Cole took Jared’s hand, trying to still his thudding heart as he laced his fingers into Jared’s own. Cole loved watching the smaller boy moving around the yard, his space, where he spent all his time. Jared ran his fingers over the metal edging of the stalls, touching halters and the ribbed texture of the lead ropes which Cole kept coiled in skeins along the wall. Jared’s curiosity made him smile, and Cole didn’t want to break that by using his phone to talk on. His touched Jared’s shoulder as the boy, his boyfriend, he remember with a sudden breath, peered around the door into the tack room, smelling of saddle soap and leather. Cole jerked his thumb over his shoulder and beckoned Jared to follow him.

Halfway to the paddock he put his thumb and finger to his lips and whistled sharply. It probably a good thing Jared couldn’t be shocked by it. Most people covered their ears when Cole whistled. Jared stared at him, then with a boldness Cole was starting to love even though it scared him, put his hand on Cole’s throat and used his other hand to make the motion for ‘again.’ Cole whistled, heard the answering neigh and felt his vocal chords vibrating against Jared’s hand. Jared tickled him, showing him what the noise felt like. Cole pulled away as his breath got short, not wanting to get stupid on the fields, especially as Dune rounded the corner of his field at a happy canter. Jared gaped at the big horse, all sixteen three hands of Dune shining it the low afternoon sun.

Cole took Jared’s hand and brought him to the fence line, motioned to him not to touch the electric tape and ducked into the field to get Dune. The hunter pressed his long face against Cole and the tall boy placed his own forehead on dark forelock and exhaled slowly. Being with Dune felt better than anything, better than driving, better than coming home, better even that kissing Jared, but in a totally different way. Dune made him feel complete like no creature alive. Eventually Cole looped the dually halter around Dune’s fabulous head and led him to where Jared stood by the fence.

He spelt the horse’s name for Jared; a C-hand with a flat palm; forefinger touching opposite little finger; two fingers in the palm; two forefingers touching. Jared made a sign that had ‘name’ and ‘good’ in it and Cole took it that he approved. Cole walked Dune towards the outdoor sand school and Jared followed, moving carefully around the horse, making sure to keep out of the way. Dune walked with his nose pressed to Cole’s shoulder, as good as his weight in gold. In the yard Cole shucked the horse of his rugs and showed Jared the best way to brush him down, giving the boy Dune’s favourite curry comb and the left side. Dune was a horse always interested in what was going on around him and he bent his head around to snuffle at Jared as he worked.

It was a beautiful to watch is confidence grown as he touched the big animal and Cole sighed to himself, humming softly as he worked, brushing out man and tail with a wide toothed steel comb. Jared kept his free hand in contact with the horse, moved slowly, minded where he put his feet. He laughed silently when Dune snuffled at him, made small odd-cute noises when the horse blew in his face and it made Cole’s heart soar. Cole returned from the tack from with Dune’s bridle and the extra-long western saddle with the hand carved feather patterned leather. Jared watched carefully as he tacked up, folding a mustard and red striped saddle rug under the horse. Cole made his movements slow and clear, showing Jared what he was doing. Finally they lead Dune up into the sand school and Cole mounted up easily, walking the horse round to warm him up.

Jared sat on the mounting block and watched, and Cole, with half an ear on his horse, made sure to watch him when Jared had his back turned. Somehow having Jared here, in his world, a place where he was respected and confident, where men on farms for miles around knew his worth in the weight of his efforts and skills. Cole could ride any horse, tack up faster than most, haul hay for twelve hours and get up at the break of dawn to do it all again; he could be trusted with shears and hoof clippers, could work out the measurements for sheep medicine and worming syrup and administer it correctly; he could, and would, sit up early in the morning to help with lambing, sleep in the hay to keep watch over the injured and sick, help fix a tractor a moment’s notice and never complain. Now, he had Jared in his world, and Cole didn’t much feel like the idea of Jared not being there.

Dune rode up to the mounting block and began to nuzzle Jared’s hair. The boy giggled and pulled away to turn and look up at Cole. Cole’s hand was out, beckoning to him. Cole hoped his face said it all when he asked;

“Come with me.”

Jared stood on the mounting block with fear written all over his face. But Cole had every faith in Dune and the horse stood stock still and four-square in the pale sand. He whickered at Jared, unaware that the boy couldn’t hear him. Cole had chosen the extra-long for a reason and now he shifted back in the saddled, making room at the front as he gripped Jared’s hand. Jared started with the wrong foot in the stirrup and Cole used a hand to direct him before helping the boy to swing his weight over onto Dune’s back. It was unconventional to have an inexperienced rider in front when riding double, but Cole had left no place for Jared except in his lap, and as his feet found the stirrups again in leathers much too long to be useful to Jared he wrapped the brunette’s hands around the saddle horn. Dune, ever patient, swung his head to muzzle his new rider and Cole delighted in putting his arms around the boy, no, his boyfriend, god that was good to say, to take up the reins, nice and slack, and have Dune walk at a steady pace.

Jared’s body vibrated against him and Cole could feel his heart thrumming double time, a weird counter to his own relaxed steady but cacophonous internal muscle drum. Cole turned the horse, bringing his arms tighter around Jared and steered them out of the sand school. He buried his face in the boy’s hair, those messy brown spikes that smelt like spice and apples, inhaling like a drug. Jared’s skin was soft, rough with dark hairs against his own tan and blond as their arm’s touched. Cole felt himself harden as he listened to the sound of Jared’s breathing, and it was someone right, not weird, with the heat and movement of the horse beneath them, the fire of Jared against his body, burning his skin. Not believing how forward he was being Cole flicked the lobs of Jared’s ear with his tongue and nipped at the soft skin. Jared moaned, his hands flickering something unintelligible, and for the tenth time that day Cole wished he could somehow learn to sign faster.

The lake shone like a mirror, the sun was red and gold, the sky blue and yellow and Dune clopped happily in the green grass. Jared softened against him, relaxing, trusting him, trusting the horse and Cole’s heart beat so hard he thought he might die of it. Everything was perfect.

From here it could only go horribly wrong, surely?