Don't Shout - 7. Chapter 7

He hadn’t spoken to anyone since he’d gotten back, simply holed himself up in his bedroom, ostensibly reading the latest of the Discworld novels. Jared lay curled up on his bed, book forgotten, hugging the duvet in the half dark cast by his desk lamp. He’d left Cole, abandoned him in the truck without a word, hadn’t let him explain. If he hadn’t cared, Jared doubted that he would feel this awful. He hated to admit after the fact, but he felt about Cole the way people in stories seemed to love. It was weird and sudden and so good it was as if he was drowning in honey. And now he had gone and ruined it.

No, Cole ruined it….and it was true in a way. It had been at least half Cole’s fault. No matter how good the heady rush of love and lust, it couldn’t be reconciled with the fire that rose through Cole, the visible snapping of his temper.

Jared dug around in his pocket and grabbed his phone. He thumbed through the pictures until he got to the one Cole had sent him. He own had been cocky, confident, his best come-and-get-it fuck-me smile, taken right after he’d finished stroking himself to a messy climax thinking of Cole. Cole’s picture was markedly different. The boy in that picture was not the same boy who had gone ballistic and tried to kill his younger brother; it just couldn’t be. In his photo Cole looked shy, unbelievably sexy in his un-sureness, hair in his face, his perfect chest lit by the blue screen of the phone. He looked younger in the photo, innocent and a little scared. That’s the boy I love….

Jared was tapped by a flying foam ball, which his sisters equivalent of a knock on the door. The Parker twins kept a huge number of the soft golf-ball sized projectiles in varied colours about the house and Jared’s family used them to get his attention from a distance when he was otherwise absorbed.

‘Hey you. You OK?’

‘No.’ Jared shook his head and went to put the phone away. Not quick enough.

Shelby’s eyes went wide as she looked at the photo, then thrust the phone back her brother, looking like the devil in disguise.

‘So I can see why you like him now.’

‘Shelby!’ Jared made a face, ‘Don’t.’

‘So you had a fight,’ Shelby sat and knuckled her brother in the shoulder before she continued, ‘You obviously still like him. And he loves you.’

‘We didn’t fight. He lost his temper with his brother, I was scared of him.’

‘Well do you trust him?’

Jared stared at the phone in his hand. He trusted that boy, the one who looked like he might love him, might be sweet and adorable and kinda scared.

‘Hang on,’ Jared sat up to make his signs easier, ‘What do you mean he loves me? How do you know?’

‘He told me.’ Shelby’s hand signs and facial expression were innocent as spring rain, but Jared knew his sister better.

‘Shelby…what do you mean?’

‘Didn’t I mention it? He’s outside.’

Jared barely let her get to the end of sign before leaping off of the bed, phone in hand, scrambling in socked feet down the stairs of the Parker’s modest town house, crashing through the landing and coats, not caring for the noise he didn’t know he made, and out of the front door.

Sure enough, the shape of Cole’s monster Hilux sat blocking the driveway and Cole stood, hands in pockets, leaning against the door, looking like a dog which had been commanded to stay. Probably by Shelby. Cole looked up, opened his mouth to frame the shape that Jared knew was his own name and in the split second before Cole dissolved into tears Jared saw the boy he loved. Half innocent, half afraid, looking a little in love and a little confused by that; there was the Cole that Jared wanted. He stepped forwards, suddenly sure that the snapping flame of Cole’s temper was not the real him, and caught the much taller boy as he collapsed in floods of tears.

Jared put his arms around Cole’s ribs, took his weight and buried his head into the boy’s shoulder. Cole’s arms came around him, bone crushingly tight, hanging on to him like he was going to vanish into thin air if he let go and Jared tried to be more solid if such a thing were possible. He worked a hand to the back of Cole’s head and rubbed his fingers through the unfairly soft golden waves. For a long sixty seconds everything was still and Jared was hyper aware of all his senses. Cole was heavy and solid in his arms, a collapsed wall of muscle and sinew. He vibrated and shook with his crying and somehow that was a turn on and Jared felt his own cock thickening in his jeans. Cole smelt of hay and rhubarb and molasses, his hair was silky and as Jared scratched the back of his head he felt the vibration of Cole’s chest change until he felt like a big version of a cat. He purred. Jared found Cole’s face with his hand, moved his jaw so that he could look at the beautiful wild boy who had told his sister that he loved him and smiled. Cole’s eyes were an unreal blue, shining with tears, wetness splashing over his cheeks. Jared kissed him, caught up in the hot saline taste of Cole and wrapped his arms around those strong shoulders until Cole stopped crying enough to kiss him back. Jared had the older boy pinned against the side of his truck, one hand wrapped tight in the back of Cole’s hair, groaning in his mouth. Cole’s hard on pressed into his hip, fantastically proportioned and Jared was so high on the kiss that it took him a long time to realise that they were making out in front of his house.

He dropped back to the ground, no longer tiptoeing in socks and stood leaning against Cole, his boyfriend, for several long minutes until they both reached normal oxygen saturation levels again.

‘Come pick me up tomorrow.’ Jared made the signs really simple and Cole nodded, ‘Ten.’

‘O-K.’ Cole made the signs using fingerspelling, his fingers shaking so hard that Jared was almost scared to let him drive home. Then he put both hand together, heels touching, fingers curled to make a heart shape. Jared pressed Cole’s hands to his chest and smiled, kissing him once, simple and chaste.

‘Go on.’

Cole got back in the truck, started the engine and backed towards the road. Jared watched him go. It was only after he’d come down that he realised how painful the gravel was on his feet, how cold it was outside without his jacket, he turned to limp and stumble indoors.

Shelby didn’t stop him as he headed back upstairs, just sat there on the upper landing wearing a smug grin. She had obviously changed her opinion of Cole Sathie since she’d slapped him. Jared collapsed on his bed, emotionally exhausted and physically drained. OK, not totally drained. His throbbing erection made a bid for his attention at pretty much the same time his phone beeped. Taking both in hand, Jared looked at the photo that came with the text.

Cole: missing you already.

The photo was taken in the truck, starlight and moon lit trees showing that Cole had pulled up on the verge to take the photo. He looked just like he had when he’d left Jared, leaning against the steering wheel, looking every inch the happy Texas cowboy, fringe falling in his face, smiling so wide with eyes shining so bright with love it was a wonder that he didn’t just jump right out of the phone. At that moment, Jared would have done everything to have Cole in bed with him.

Jared moved his hand over his erection, his chest vibrating as he rubbed the silky pre-cum from the slit over and down the length of his cock. Cole kissed like his name, like fire; burning and hungry and all-consuming and Jared felt his heart beat double time as he stroked himself. He twisted his palm in the way he knew brought the most pleasure, applying pressure to the head but not the shaft, thinking of the heat and hardness of Cole against him as they kissed. How good would it be to have the boy here in his bed, stretched out underneath him, writhing and wanting. Or to be in that photo, in the truck with his boyfriend, Cole all shy and blushing, unsure and adorable as Jared reached into his trousers and touched him in way he’d never known.

Jared felt himself tingle at the mental images of Cole he conjured up, and he turned his head to stare at the photo on his phone. Cole’s eyes were so blue, his smile so perfect, and Jared almost fought against the vision of those lips wrapped around his cock. It was all too good. He felt the familiar ecstatic tightness in his balls, telling him we had about thirty seconds to keep going. Cole, he wanted to touch the boy who seemed so confident at home and so shy in his arms and the last thing Jared saw before he screwed his eyes shut with pleasure was that picture of Cole in the truck, looking soft and beautiful and missing him. He came in three long spurts, cupping his hand to catch his seed and shuddered as he came back to his senses. He’d kicked off the sheets, lay naked to the knees in his bed and sighed, licking his own essence from his fingers.

Visions of Cole were deeply satisfying. Jared smiled and took the photo with his phone, making it obvious that he had just jerked off, and sent it to Cole.

Jared: sorry, couldn’t wait xx

*

Cole swore and threw the shirt across his room. It was following an ever greater number of his clothes which were beginning to create an amorphous mass on his floor. The problem was the Cole didn’t have a huge number to clothes to chuck left and unless he wanted to pick Jared up for their date naked he was going to have to make a decision.

He’d been awake for hours, getting up extra early to see to all the chores and had already done more with his day before nine o’clock than most people did with a whole weekend. The horses had been turned out, the yard skipped out, tidied; the livery horses had their tack cleaned and ready for when their riders came; Cole had fed the fish in the big pond, combed the sand in the riding school, exercised Dune and poop-picked the small field where Bray and the skittish Arab were housed. All the troughs had been filled and there was new hay in the fields. Now showered and dried, Cole had to complete the simple task of getting dressed neatly.

The next pair of jeans to fly through the air were caught be Clayton just before they would have caught Chase around the face.

“And what’s wrong with these ones?” Clayton asked, not waiting for an invitation to enter his brother’s room, sitting on his bed.

“Oh…What are you two doing here?”

“Well you obviously need help,” Chase, ridiculously sensible for an eleven year old, scooped up the clothes that Cole had dumped, “You can’t go out wearing that.”

Cole was standing in front of his wardrobe mirror in his rattiest work jeans, falling apart at the knees and all seams, and his only pair of ‘good’ boxers, which were slightly tighter than usual, black and sort of satiny-shiny.

“Indeed.” Clayton laughed from the bed, “What’re you doing Cole, you trying to get lucky?”

Cole glowered at his brother in the mirror and motioned to Chase.

“Oh like he doesn’t know. We live on a farm Cole and we’ll be lambing again in the spring. It’s not like-”

“…I don’t know about these things.” Chase finished, “We do have sex ed at school you know.”

Cole frowned, but turned back to the state of his wardrobe.

“This is hopeless.”

“No it’s not,” Clayton got up from the bed and elbowed his brother aside, “You’re proud of being born in Texas right?”

“Yeah?” Cole wasn’t quite sure where this was going as his younger brother began to sift through his clothes, “So go for the look. Wear those good riding jeans Mum bought you for your birthday and the rodeo shirt you got in Calgary. It still fits right?”

Cole shucked his jeans and shrugged at the same time, which involved some tripping, and pulled on the light washed blue jeans his sibling handed him. The riding jeans were good, cut well to fit and a little longer than usual, designed for riding with no inner seams and contrast black stitching on the outer leg and pockets. Chase vanished and reappeared with their father’s show-belt, black with the big silver buckle in the shape of steer’s head. Cole already knew he was going to wear his good boots and it was Clayton who handed him the red pearl button shirt with the white piping that he’d bought at the Stampede Rodeo when he was sixteen. He hadn’t worn it in a long time and Cole was surprised to find that the well washed cotton fit him better than it hand before. It was no use for riding, tight in the shoulders now he’d put on muscle, but the shirt looked fitted across his tight abdomen and he stuck his arms out of Clayton to fold-roll his sleeves up.

“Where’s your flying jacket?” Chase asked.

“I leant it to Clay here,” Cole grinned as his brother rushed off to get the sheepskin that Cole had all but forgotten he owned. Cole settled the jacket on his shoulders when Clayton returned and looked in the mirror. He looked like…

“Like an American dude rancher stud. Hot damn pup, where are you going dressed like that?” Carla Sathie was standing in the doorway, a pile of clean laundry in her arms.

“Cole’s got a date…” Chase said in a sing song voice, back to being eleven years old and giggly all at once, “We made him dress nice.”

“So you did,” Carla handed piles of person separated laundry to her younger sons, “Run and put these away for me now boys.” She waited until Clayton and Chase left the room then closed the door with her foot, “Now Cole…”

“Aww Ma…” Cole stared, but his mother held up a hand, “Now pup, calm down. You look like Rodeo week in Amsterdam, Jared’ll love it. It’s nice to see you look after yourself for a change. Have you got protection?”

“Mum!” Cole covered his face with his hands, turning bright red, ruining his cool confident look, “Og god please don’t say anything else right now…”

“Oh pup…” Carla ruffled her son’s hair, having to reach up to do it, “I know you’re an adult, you’re eighteen after all, I don’t expect you to behave like a school girl. I was going to buy you something, but I figured you were old enough to do it yourself,” she handed him a crisp twenty from her pocket and Cole took it, shaking with embarrassment. His mother had just given him condom money. Oh god…

“Now come here. No son of mine is going out with his hair un-brushed.”

Half an hour later Cole stood in the beauty-pharmacy store in town trying to avoid making eye contact with any of the labels on the packet in the ‘family planning’ aisle of the store. Having managed to skirt around pregnancy testing kits and things for rashes and infections and stuff he’d found himself facing an assortment of condoms and…other things… that made his face burn with embarrassment. The fact that’s he’d let his brother’s dress him like a walking Western sex symbol didn’t help much. Cole shook his hair over his face and tried to read the packets without looking too hard. Ribbed…flavoured…her pleasure…sensitive… Cole shook his head, feeling stupid and like he was on fire and picked up a packet of six feather lights because at least the box was mostly plain. He was turning towards the tills when his eyes landed on the ‘play’ shelf of the aisle.

Lube. He knew from his adventures online that lube was a must, but he hadn’t expected there to be more than one kind. Ye gods… Cole snatched the one that looked the most boring, and therefore safe and headed for the till, wanting to get out of there before his ears burst into flame. No suck luck.

“Hi Cole…” the shiny pretty curvy girl behind the till was at college with him. Cole had never committed her name to memory, but remember that she hung out in the music department a fair bit and usually had a bass with her along with a small collection of piercings, “Getting lucky are we?”

Cole managed to grunt and pushed money at her, hoping the ground would reach up and swallow him whole.

“Hi.”

“I didn’t know you were dating anyone. Whose the lucky girl?”

“T-there isn’t one,” Cole mentally kicked himself, he’d never stuttered, and apart from the first time he’d kissed Jared he swore he’d never been this nervous in his life.

“Player.” She winked as she handed him the bag and his change, and Cole bolted before she could say anything else, or wink again. He stuffed the bag into the deep glove box of his truck and prayed for the universe to explode before he died of shame and embarrassment.

Oh it wasn’t that bad… His inner voice mocked him. She flirted with you. That’s not great. Cole wondered if he should have mentioned Jared’s name, wondered if the boy would have been embarrassed and decided to think less before his head exploded. He glanced at the clock, put the truck in gear and rove the ten minutes to Jared’s house without incident.

He parked up the truck and worked up enough courage to knock on the door, shuffling his good boots nervously. He waited, all his clothes felt too tight and wrong at the same time and Cole wondered if anyone else was home. Jared wouldn’t hear the knock. Belatedly he saw the doorbell buzzer and realised that there must be a system inside the house involving some kind of lights or something.

The door was opened by a small woman who looked almost exactly like Shelby but without the bad attitude and plus an extra twenty five years or so.

“Well now, I don’t remember ordering a cowboy,” she smiled warmly, “You must be Cole,” she signed when she spoke and Cole found himself following the signals as he listened, “Jared’s told us all about you. Come in why don’t you?”

Cole stood nervously in the hallway. Town houses always made him feel overly aware of himself and his body. Cole was tall, gangly, over-sized in many ways, and his long frame was not suited to the modern style of building which he found in towns. He waited while Jared’s mother pressed a little buzzer button at the foot of the stairs and then bustled to the kitchen at the end of the little hallway.

“Tea?”

“No thank you ma’am,” Cole always found himself reverting to a super country accent when he was this sort of nervous. Like you need any more reasons for people to think you’re a dumb country fool…

“That button makes a light flash in his room upstairs, Jared’ll be here shortly. You look just he described, but much more handsome.”

“Thank you.” Cole coughed, took two steps and walked into a light fitting, “Sorry…”

“Hey Cole…” Shelby appeared from another doorway into the kitchen, “Well don’t you look…neat. Mum have we got any juice?” Cole saw that both woman signed when they spoke, it was obviously a habit they’d picked up and couldn’t put down. Then something touched his back and Cole spun around to see Jared and all other thoughts fled.

Jared was dressed like a hug. Neat pressed black jeans and a cowl necked jumped that made Cole want to reach out and enfold him in his arms. His hair was spiked, sort of neat, textured and oh-so touchable. Cole snapped his hands to his sides to avoided reaching out to him and nearly jumped out of his clothes when Jared wrapped an arm around him before starting to sign to his mother. Jared had hugged him, in front of his mother and sister. All open and loving an unashamed.

Cole was too turned on and distracted to follow what Jared was saying, too focused on the hot swathe of the boy leaning against his chest, skin and bone vibrating gently against him as he breathed.

“So we’ll see you tomorrow then,” Mrs Parker said, speaking for Cole’s benefit. “Have a fun day boys.” Cole turned around only when Jared jabbed him in the ribs to get him to move, and he followed the shorter boy out to his truck, Jared having scooped up a little hold-all on the way out. Cole stared at him in confusion.

‘What?’ he didn’t know the rest of the symbols for his question, so hoped that one would suffice.

‘You look hot,” Jared replied, and Cole blushed, ‘Drive?’

Cole nodded and helped Jared into the truck before getting in himself. No sooner had he done his seat belt up than he found the smaller boy scooting over the bench seat, leaning against him, hand pushing the shirt-moulded contours of his chest. Cole found his breath catching under Jared’s fingers, his hand shook as the Hilux sprung to life and he had to push Jared away. He tapped the message out on his phone, handing it to Jared.

Cole: I’ll crash the truck if you do that again.

Jared: did you like the photo?

Cole had tried to avoid thinking about that photo since he’d gotten dressed, not especially wanting to reveal the exact size and shape of his erection to the whole world. Having the hard, well liquid, evidence in his hand that his boyfriend had jerked off while thinking off him was erotic and sexy as hell and Cole really wanted to keep hold of his senses when he drove rather than kill them both in a loud metallic fireball.

Cole nodded, kept his eyes straight ahead but smiled as Jared wrapped a hand over is thigh, near his knee. That he could cope with, deep breath, just about. Cole drove, following the directions Jared gave with points and gestures, in the direction of the city. When they were on the double lane bypass Jared leant forward and flicked the stereo on. Cole frowned at him and Jared answered by putting a hand against his chest, over his heart.

Cole fiddled with the station until he found his favourite combination of rock and country and began to sing along un-self-consciously. Jared couldn’t hear him sing, couldn’t tell when he was off pitch of out of key a little bit, but he could feel the vibrations in his chest. Cole became more and more aware of the movement himself as he drove. When they reached the city itself there was less time for singing, more time for concentrating on the one way system, twisty roads not designed for a truck like Cole’s mega Hilux, and Jared’s silent but insistent directions. When Cole finally parked up in a half filled mini-lot he’d never been to in front of a brick building on the seafront that he never really remember seeing before, he was initially confused. Then he read the sign that bolted to the brick next to the door.

Brighton Deaf Centre and Sussex Deaf Association Building

Jared grinned hugely and Cole wondered what he’d let himself in for.

*

Jared practically dragged Cole into the Deaf Centre, smiling all the time. After all, it wasn’t every day you got to bring a great big incredibly hot cowboy to meet all your friends and tell them that he was your boyfriend. It was an excellent feeling. In the centre there was a collection of people milling about and Jared spotted Dina straight away and waved.

‘Hey, where’s Shelby?’ she asked, before spotting the tall well-dressed shape behind him, ‘Oh my god you brought Cole! Are you two like properly together and everything?’

Jared nodded and pulled Cole up to stand next to him. The tall tanned blond was getting his fair share of attention, and not because he was a stranger to everyone there. Cole was shocked, then smiled as Jared pulled him to his side, possessive and strong. He signed with one hand.

‘You ready?’

Cole nodded, looking like he was braced for a storm.

‘This is Cole,’ Jared signed to the crowd in general, ‘He’s my boyfriend!’

Twenty minutes later Cole was sat in a fast and furious BSL practice lesson in conversation with a diminutive brown haired girl called Jess, who was hearing so could correct him all the time, and one of Jared’s deaf friends from the centre Phil, who was a few years older than them both. Cole looked alternately excited, confused, confuddled, bewildered and lost, but Jared saw the flashes of smile that made his heart leap every time.

‘I cannot believe you,’ Dina shook her head when she signed, ‘Throwing him in at the deep end. His hands will have never been so tired.’

Jared remembered the roughness of callous and hard work that characterised Cole’s skin.

‘I doubt that. You know he lives on a farm?’

A chair was dragged over to join them and a boy with short black hair came to sit with them. He made a sign that he was hearing in one ear and then signed. He wasn’t as fluid as Jared or Dina, but he was obviously trying hard and practicing.

‘Is he really a cowboy or does he just dress like one?’

‘He really is. His horse is called Dune. You’re Damon right? I recognise you from the party last summer.’

‘Yeah,’ Damon smiled, especially at Dina, ‘My family live in the middle of nowhere and I can’t drive yet so I don’t get to come here often. I like to practice as much as a I can.’

‘Well Jared’s lucky,’ Dina smiled when she replied, ‘His cowboy has a monster truck to go with that smile.’

Jared saw himself being waved over by Jess and made his excuses, leaving Dina to flirt.

“He’s really keen Jared,” Jess spoke to him, forcing him to lip read as he got close, “A fast learner. Well done.”

‘Thanks.’

“You want to go for a voice session?”

Jared shook his head, he should have known that Jess would ask that. She was always trying to get him to speak, to learn to speak again so that he could communicate with a larger range of people.

‘Why not?’

‘It’s too embarrassing. Every time I make a stupid noise I think that he’s going to bolt and run.’ Jared signed quickly, hoping that Cole, still in conversation with Phil, wasn’t paying too much attention.

Jess frowned at him.

‘He’s good Jared. Trust him a little bit. He’s brave to come and here and try and make mistakes. He does that plenty, but he’s learning.’ She saw his resilience to her idea and sighed, ‘Fine, come help Jen brush up on her finger spelling would you?’

The rest of the morning flashed by and Jared’s stomach was rumbling when Cole finally found him again.

‘Hey Jared. I’m starving.’

‘You want to go for lunch babe?’

‘Yes please.’

Outside by the truck Jared pulled on Cole’s wrist to get his attention.

‘Thank you. Did you enjoy it?’

‘It was great. I liked getting to talk about you lots.’

‘You talked about me?’ Jared was surprised, most people learning BSL tended to talk about themselves.

‘You and Dune. What else was I gonna sign about huh?’

Jared stayed pressed against his boyfriend as they drove into town. Cole manoeuvred the truck with an amazing skill and dexterity for a machine so big, and eventually they parked in a pay and park carpark near the cool, arty part of town. Jared watched the way his boyfriend moved, an awesome confidence every time he forgot not to be, but more than that he watched other people watching Cole. Lots of people watched Cole, men and women, boys and girls of all ages. They stared for his height, the foreignness of his clothes, his other worldly tan and blond combo, his blue eyes, his good looks. Groups of teenage girls stared and giggled; a handsome muscle bound guy with a big black dog stood stock still and gawped as Cole strode past, apparently totally unaware; a woman in a business suit on the phone tracked him with her eyes, her lips never still.

Jared stared at Cole, marvelling at the way he moved, the stride of his long legs capped so that Jared could keep up, the way the muscles of his chest rippled under his chest, the contrast of hard jaw and shoulder with the soft leather and sheepskin. When Cole smiled at him Jared wondered if he was still touching the ground. He grabbed Cole’s hand as they walked through the trendy lanes, and Jared saw people look at them with cute admiration. It was moments like this that made him wish he could shout. Jared would tell anyone who would understand that he loved the man who walked beside him.

They reached a café of the sort which still had a wraparound blackboard menu with a thousand choices and only took cash. Jared used his tablet to translate what he wanted for the server and when he went to pay found Cole peeling notes from a little bundle from his jacket. Cole took their drinks, a coke and a massive mug of tea for Jared and they slipped into a little wooden booth.

Sorry this is such a tiring date. Jared tapped the message onto the tablet lying between them, and instantly felt Cole’s leg against his own, inexplicably hot through two layers of denim.

I’m having fun. Cole smiled at him and flicked the tablet around to grab the paint set. He drew a comic book heart and put Jared’s initials in the middle.

Me too.