Language of Love - 2. Chapter 2:: "I don't think we're right for each...."

Chapter 2: “I don’t think we’re right for each….”

I woke up on Saturday morning and ran through my normal routine. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, made a bowl of cereal, and turned on some Saturday morning cartoons. Sure, I’m 26, but it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a cartoon or two. While I can laugh at the stupid antics of cartoon characters, serious Anime will always be my passion and I know it will probably last into my old age. There is an artistic flare to an anime and cartoon series, plus a subtle measure of humanity. Too bad, most cartoon shows are aesthetically rudimentary and the storytelling is on par with a 1980’s episode of “Care Bears”. Luckily, the good cartoons of my youth are still around and “rebranded” as new cartoons for today’s kids, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and DCAU Justice League.

As I stirred my half eaten bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and enjoyed the climatic fight between Goku and Frieza for the tenth time in my life, I remembered that I had to respond to the guy from last night. I dreaded having to respond, because I was still uncertain about what I wanted and what this could lead to. Still, he was a nice guy and I owe it to him and myself to try this out. Worst thing that could happen is that we hate each other’s guts and never speak again.

I grabbed my Samsung Galaxy III off the table and began typing his skype name for a text chat. I hoped he did not ask for a video chat, because, in all honesty, I was in my boxers and an A-shirt, definitely not the type of outfit I want a guy to see me in at least before a few dates.

I began typing out a greeting,

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Me: Hello

Him: zhaoshang han

Me: Duìbuqi, can you chat English?

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I forgot he said that his English was bad, but I thought we could have a simple chat in English at least. My understanding of Mandarin is non-existent, except for numbers, “yes and no”, and sorry. I just said sorry and that was 1/3^rd of all the Mandarin I knew. I hope he did not expect me to do more than that.

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Him: I can write it well, but I cannot speak it

Me: That’s interesting

Him: Yes

Me: How long have you been in the US?

Him: Two months, I will be heading to the university in the fall

Me: Which province are you from?

Him: Pudong, Shanghai

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At this point, our chat froze in place. I didn’t know what to say to him, he spoke Mandarin and was from Pudong. Most of you guys probably do not know this, but Shanghai is one of the few cities treated like a province in China. Its subdivisions are similar to New York’s boroughs, except they are even larger with 23 million in total population. Pudong is known as the “new” commercial and financial district like New York’s midtown, where the Shanghai exchange is held. It’s equivalent to saying that he’s from China’s upper-crust, because few people can afford to live in that area just like New York’s Park Avenue. If my early suspicions were not incorrect, he’s either from a very wealthy family or a politically powerful family, because you do not live in that district without some serious money, power, or both.

I’m not looking to be a gold digger and definitely not looking to be a kept boy, plus we speak completely different languages. Everything about this seems complicated, if we push it further than friendship or anything like that. Now, most guys would probably give up and call it a day. I wanted to, but he texted before I could finish my line: “I don’t think we’re right for each….”

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Him: Do you like watching TV?

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I deleted the line and tapped a reply that I thought would be sufficient.

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Me: Sure, I love TV shows

Him: Do you like TVB dramas?

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Damn him, he picked one of my other fascinations about Asian culture. In Hong Kong, bordering the province of Guangzhou, which is also my birthplace in mainland China, there are two principal TV studios: TVB and ATV. Among the Hong Kong viewing public and Cantonese speakers, TVB is an icon due to their drama series. I can remember as a kid watching shows like “Secret of the Heart” or “Threshold of an Era”. While western TV viewers might call those shows soap operas due to their plot twists and emotional storylines, the Chinese viewed them as legitimate dramas.

The best dramatic parallel that I could point to is the American ABC’s series, “Revenge”, which my family and some online Hong Kong commentators call a rip-off of TVB 1990’s drama “Vengeance”. Basically, it’s the same plotline; a girl, whose family is destroyed by a rich man, goes out for revenge against the wealthy man and his family. She abandons her old love, who holds hope until his death that she would rekindle their love. She falls in love with her arch-nemesis son and does not know whether she should embrace her heart or continue on her revenge until her friend is murdered by the rich man’s family. I see the similarities, too, and have to wonder if there’s a Chinese writer on staff that came up with the original concept. However, I hope now you see why our drama series are so memorable.

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Me: Yes, I love TVB. What’s your favorite series?

Him: No Regrets

Me: Right Wayne and Sheren were good couple

Him: Who are Wayne and Sheren?

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Another one of those cultural things, Hong Kong people have English names in addition to their Chinese name. It’s a tradition from the time of the British control over Hong Kong. It wasn’t forced tradition, but it grew as part of the cultural blending between Cantonese Chinese and British. In Chinese culture, we have three names in tradition. Our family name comes first from the father, our nominal first name, and our honorific names based off historical or mythical constructs. An additional name was usually conferred on people, who were blessed or achieved something great as a special honor. It probably was natural evolution that allowed Hong Kong Chinese people to blend their names. Many Hong Kong actors and actresses still refer to their English names in public to fans, especially Chinese people in other countries, like US, Canada, and UK.

I had to do a quick search with google to find the Chinese names of the actor and actress:

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Me: I mean Wayne Lai Yiu-cheung and Sheren Tang Shui-man

Him: Yes, they were good

Me: Sorry, I thought you knew their English names

Him: Now I do

Him: Thank you

Me: Well, do you like any other TV shows

Me: I really liked Bu Bu Jing Xin

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After typing that, I remembered something and smacked myself on the head. He wouldn’t say that he liked that one even if he did. The Chinese government had put a cultural prohibition against Time Travel related stories after it had gain such a huge fan base. However, being interested in a gay relationship, he might not really be that politically careful.

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Him: I loved it and bought the DVD’s in the US, when I saw they were available

Me: Cool

Him: They were a great couple

Me: The story was also really good, too

Me: It was much better than Gong

Him: Amazing, I disliked Gong and its sequel

Him: The couples were horrible

Me: Lol

Him:

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We just kept discussing TV shows and movies throughout the day. He was really into Chinese dramas and luckily, I also enjoyed mainland TV series as well. Production value, the mainland TV shows were poorer quality, but the plotting was more interesting.

Their storylines work with more Chinese centered themes and less with Western styled morality plays. Even though Hong Kong’s TVB is loved for its interesting dramas, it still holds a hybrid western-eastern morality concept in its dramatic storytelling. In traditional Chinese culture, people will cheer on the good guy to win at the end, but we will also cheer on the evil son of bitch to take power and triumph over the orthodox good guys. The story of our 1^st true Dynasty, the Han, is one where the bad guys won, but everyone agreed it was the right thing for a better and more unified society. Liberal and Leftist politicians would praise Chinese communist underpinning for this phenomenon; in opposition, Conservatives would denounce it as revolutionary and destructive thought. In my thinking it has nothing to do with Communism, but inherent Chinese martial doctrine dating back to Sun Tzu himself. It is not the quality of morality that defines our Civilization, it is the value of our people as a whole.

Anyway, we kept talking about TV shows and I completely forgot about what I was going to say to him. It felt nice to really interact with another gay Chinese guy, who shares some of my taste for things. I wondered if he might enjoy Anime as well, but I didn’t want to open to many cans so soon.

By 4 PM, we had been chatting for over 5 hours, I decided it was probably time to stop and take a break.

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Me: Hey I need to grab some dinner

Him: That sounds good

Him: Do you cook?

Me: Yes, I do

Him: What do you like cooking?

Me: Mostly Hakka cooking, nothing fancy

Him: I love mui choy cai yuk

Me: You wish

Me: That dish takes five hours to prepares

Him: Really?

Me: Yes, you need to Brine the pork and mustard greens

Me: Wok the pork until moist

Me: Stir fry the vegetables in pork lard

Me: Then re-cookin a pot

Him: I was just excited hearing you cook hakka

Me: I might play the piano, but I am not a prodigy

Him: Ha

Me: However, I know a place in Chinatown that does the dish really well

Him: Do you want to go there?

Me: Sure, if you have nothing to do tomorrow

Him: Okay

Me: Well, I have to head out

Him: huí tou jian

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As I clicked my 20% remaining battery life phone off and returned it back to its charger, I grabbed shorts, a T-shirt, my wallet, and headed towards the Shaws’ supermarket. Nothing fancy, I just wanted to grab some vegetables and maybe some meat, if the price was right. While I was mulling in my head about the price of pork versus chicken, a revelation came to me like a ton of bricks.

I just accepted an invitation to a date with a guy that I met less than 24 hours ago. I was seconds away from just telling him that we should see other people, because I feared our socio-political levels were not going to mix well. How the fuck did I just accept a date from him?