Perfect Can't Endure - 6. Thursday

I woke when Asher’s breathing changed, and I saw him watching me. He gave me a smile and a kiss before leaving for a shower. I got up and followed after a minute, grabbing clothes for both of us from the closet. I brushed my teeth while he showered, and soon he was out. He’d only put on boxers, and I didn’t hide that I was admiring his sexy body. He blushed cutely, but he seemed flattered. I stepped into the shower when he started putting on the rest of his clothes, and I showered quickly before grabbing my towel and drying off. I grabbed my boxers, putting them on and stepping out, but Asher stopped me before I could put on anything else.

“Wait for a second?” he requested, so I stopped, puzzled. He stepped closer, and I swallowed as I felt his hands touch my back. He slid them down, feeling all my muscles, and slipped them under the waistband of my boxers. He caressed my ass, and I leaned forward to kiss him. His hands felt so good on my cheeks, and his mouth tasted like mint mixed with his own taste. I was getting really aroused, and our kiss was getting more passionate. I found the waistband of his shorts and started pulling them down, but Asher stopped me. He pulled his hands out of my boxers, broke our kiss, and stepped back.

“Sorry,” he laughed. “You can get dressed now.”

“Damn,” I grumbled. “You’re teasing me.”

“I’m teasing me, too,” he said regretfully. “But we shouldn’t waste our morning like that.”

“Who says it’d be a waste?” I asked.

He laughed. “There’s plenty of time for it at night, when the sun isn’t out,” he clarified.

I frowned, disappointed, but I put my clothes on. We went upstairs for breakfast, and we talked to Tommy for a few minutes before he had to leave for a friend’s house. We finished our breakfast, found Bear, and lost our shirts before going out running in the forest. We ran around the bay, ending up at the opposite shore from the house, and then we swam to the island. When we arrived, Bear was the only one who could still run around. Asher and I lay down together on the beach, catching our breath. That didn't last for long, and Asher ended up trying to catch my breath, with his tongue in my mouth. He rolled onto me, grinding our hardening dicks together, but Bear pounced on us before anything else could happen.

I sighed. “Fine,” I said, defeated. “You win, Bear. We’ll hold off.”

Asher gave me another kiss before standing and helping me up.

“Your dog is an asshole,” I told him, making him laugh.

“That makes three of us,” he joked. “Maybe we deserve each other.”

I laughed, and we explored the island a bit more before swimming back to the cottage for lunch. When we were done eating, we took the canoe over to the island. We made Bear swim, because as Asher had pointed out earlier, we’re assholes. Bear loved it, and we almost managed to tire him out. We ran laps around the island, looking for the deer, but Bear only got more energetic. When we collapsed on the bed after circling the island three times, Bear looked like he could run a few more laps easily.

“How does he do it?” I panted, and Asher laughed.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It must be magic.”

I laughed. “Are you magic?” I asked Bear in baby talk. He barked and ran in a circle, excited.

We laughed, but Bear wasn’t going to let us rest now that I’d gotten him riled up. He pounced onto the bed, and he started licking my face. I managed to roll over and hide my face, but that only made him move on to Asher. Soon, we were both laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe, and we finally managed to push Bear off the bed and get up.

“That was your fault,” Asher managed to say through his laughter, leaning against me.

“Yeah,” I agreed, getting control of myself. “I probably shouldn’t have teased him.”

“Let’s go back to the house,” Asher said. “Bear can get rid of some of his energy on the way there, and then we can have dinner.”

I nodded, and we started off. We couldn’t seem to kill any of Bear’s energy this time, so he was still running circles around us as we walked up to the house. Asher started making dinner while I fed Bear, and when I was done I helped him. We soon had it ready, and then we ate, trying to ignore Bear’s pathetic begging. I gave in first, and soon we were both throwing him pieces of our meal. When it was all gone, we ran back down to the sailboat. We launched it, and Bear swam after us as we headed towards the island. We beached the boat as Bear caught up, and then we sat down to give him a rest. He flopped on his side, panting, and we laughed and patted him. It didn’t take long for him to get up and want to play again, so we took off our shirts and shorts, swimming into the water in our boxers. Bear followed, and Asher looked like he had an idea.

“Want to see something funny?” he asked, smiling mischievously.

I nodded, curious, and Asher dived underwater. I followed so I could watch him, and he swam underneath Bear and blew bubbles into his stomach. The bubbles floated up, and when they tickled Bear, he shook. We surfaced laughing, and I tried, getting the same result. I felt bad for tormenting him at first, until I saw how happy he looked.

“He looks like he’s having fun!” I laughed, trying to give him a pat without getting scratched.

Asher smiled. “That’s the best part. He loves this. I guess it feels like being patted.”

I dived under, and swam towards Asher. When I got underneath him, I blew out all my air, creating a huge torrent of bubbles. When I surfaced, he was laughing so hard he was having trouble swimming.

“That ticked so badly!” he managed to say, in between his laughing and gasping for air. I laughed too, and swam over to him to give him a hand to the cliff. We got there, and he hung on for dear life until he managed to stop laughing.

“I guess you’re ticklish, then,” I said, giving him an evil smile so he knew I’d remember.

“Shit,” he laughed. “I’m going to regret letting you know that, I can tell.”

I nodded, smirking, and he laughed again.

“Oh well,” he said. “Now it’s your turn.”

He dived down, and I waited nervously as he swam under me. I saw the bubbles rising, and as they touched my feet I learned why he’d been laughing so hard. It felt like thousands of feathers brushing lightly across everywhere they touched, and it soon had me convulsing with laughter and trying to get away. Asher burst to the surface next to me, laughing at the glare I attempted to give him through my giggles. He put his arm around me and held us both up as I got control of myself again.

“I can’t believe Bear likes that!” I laughed. “That tickles so much it hurts!”

Asher smiled. “It must be his fur protecting him from the worst of it,” he guessed.

I nodded, fighting down another round of laughter. Asher realized we’d be here for a while, so he found a foothold and pulled me onto his lap so I was sitting on his knees. I managed to stop laughing as I realized that I was sitting on my boyfriend’s lap, and I looked at Asher. He was smiling happily, and it hit me again how beautiful he was. His eyes were sparkling with joy, and it made the grey flecks stand out even more. His lips were a tantalizing shade of pink, and the way they curved as he smiled was suddenly the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. I leaned in, mesmerized by his perfection, and he tilted his head to meet me. Our lips touched, and I was amazed all over again by how soft his were. The taste of him was driving me crazy, and I was sure the warm glow in my heart was visible to him in my eyes.

He broke our kiss, leaning back, and I watched, unable to look away from his sexy lips as they curved into a sly grin.

I’d barely seen the tips of his white teeth before I felt his hands on my ribs, tickling me mercilessly. I writhed, my trance broken, and I managed to squirm off his lap and sink underwater, just getting a breath in. I saw Asher dive after me, so I swam deeper, trying to get away. I didn’t need to be watching him to envision his amused expression. I swam down to thirty five feet, where I knew he couldn’t follow, and I waited there as he stopped at thirty feet. He waved, trying not to laugh, and I gave him a one finger salute. I saw a bubble escape from his lips as he snickered, and I smirked at him as we both realized he had no chance of staying down longer than me. He must have decided that he needed to catch me now, because he came down deeper, to my level. My ears had adjusted enough for me to go down to around thirty seven feet, but I couldn’t go any deeper just yet. He had to stop just out of arms’ reach, and I jokingly reached up, pretending to tickle him. He grabbed my hand, pulling me up, and we wrestled playfully. We broke apart as we became aware of two more problems. One, predictably, was that being so close to each other while three quarters naked had given us both boners.

The second was more serious, and the smile dropped from Asher’s face as he realized just how far down we’d gone. I felt fear roiling in my stomach as I realized that Asher couldn’t hold his breath as long as me. I pulled him over to the cliff, so we could pull ourselves up faster, but even with the extra speed he obviously didn’t have enough oxygen left. When we were twenty feet from the surface, I grabbed him and sealed my mouth against his, giving him half of my air. When I let him go, we pulled ourselves up hand over hand, going as fast as we could. I exhaled the now-useless air in a small steady trickle, buying just a little more time, but I was fully out by the time I was ten feet from the surface. I looked up, trying to find some handholds before my vision went dark, and I located three. I pulled myself up at top speed, straining my oxygen-deprived muscles, but after I used the last one I was still underwater. The burning of my lungs was the only thing telling me I was still alive, and I clung to it. I was aware of my legs fluttering uselessly, and I considered stopping them. Thinking was becoming too hard, so I stopped, instead just feeling the embrace of the water.

Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad, I thought, my legs slowing even more. It’s nice down here, even though everything’s black. Why didn’t I want to die before?

I wasn’t aware of my legs anymore, and I knew I was about to open my mouth and welcome death.

Dying really isn’t scary at all, I thought. It’s kind of nice. Asher might be angry at me, though. Asher. ASHER!

I floundered furiously, unable to feel enough of my body to know if I was actually moving, but apparently it worked because I felt something weird against my head.

Air! I thought, tilting my head back to take a huge breath. I coughed, but as my brain started working again I remembered why I’d bothered to come to the surface in the first place. I took another huge gulp of air, ignoring the horrible feeling of water in my throat, and dived back down. My vision was starting to return, and I could vaguely make out a shape beneath me. I struggled lower, fighting the dead feeling in my limbs, and I managed to grab hold of Asher. I kicked as hard as I could, working through the burning pain as oxygenated blood passed through my arteries once again, waking my body from its hibernation. My mind felt confused, and the only thing I was sure of was that I could not let Asher die. I managed to get us to the surface, dragging Asher’s dead weight.

NO! I screamed in my head, refusing to use that word to describe Asher. He’s OK, Damnit!

I somehow managed to keep us on the surface as I made a pathetic attempt at swimming towards the cliff. My stomach felt like it was being crushed in a vice as terror consumed me, and I could still feel the water sloshing sickeningly around in my lungs. In a minor miracle, probably thanks to adrenaline, I got us to the cliff. I tried to hold on with one hand so I could help Asher, but I was too weak, my muscles still deprived of oxygen. We slipped, and I pushed Asher’s unmoving body up so he wouldn’t go under, driving me deeper in the process. I clawed against the wall, faintly aware of skin ripping against the sandpaper surface of the rock, but I found a handhold. I pulled myself up, keeping Asher above the surface, and took another gasping breath of air.

“Asher!” I coughed, terror weakening my voice. “Asher! No! You can’t-” I broke off in a fit of violent coughing. I would NOT say that fucking word! He had to be alive! He had to!

He moved. It was almost nothing, but I was sure I hadn’t imagined it. It had been a slight cough. I shuddered as I viciously suppressed my coughing, accepting the water in my lungs for now. I pulled Asher closer to me, trying to do a one handed variation of the Heimlich maneuver. I pressed my fist weakly into his stomach. He didn’t move. I mustered all my strength, doing it again slightly harder. It didn’t do anything. My mind was so foggy that I wasn’t even sure I was doing it right. All of my CPR training felt so far out of reach, and I mentally screamed at myself, pulling my fist into Asher’s stomach again and again.

It was above the belly button! I thought, moving my fist higher. I didn’t care if I somehow fucked up my mind by straining it this hard when it had barely woken up from near death. I didn’t care if it KILLED me, damnit! I’d rip the fucking WORLD apart if it would help my boyfriend! I tore through the fog in my mind, forcing myself to remember, and I moved my hand to the appropriate spot. I pulled as hard as I could, tightening my grip on the granite. The stone bit into my fingers reassuringly, the pain keeping me grounded. I forced myself to pull harder, feeling my muscles screaming at me in rebellion. I had all this energy in the pit of my stomach, and I felt like I’d explode if I couldn’t let it loose! It was the feeling of being useless, unable to do anything as something precious was taken from me, and I couldn’t bear it.

“Asher!” I yelled hoarsely, trying to make this rage useful somehow. I pulled against Asher’s stomach, feeling tears of helplessness flowing down my face. Everything seemed unreal, and I couldn’t focus on anything except my terror of losing Asher. I felt like I was in a nightmare. I was trying to move through molasses, and my strongest attempt at moving felt pathetically weak. Asher moved again.

“Asher!” I screamed, desperate. I spun him around, making him face me, and took the deepest breath I could before sealing my lips against his and forcing it into his lungs. I broke off, coughing, and I ground my fingers into the granite pitilessly, focusing on the pain.

I will not pass out! I screamed at myself, forcing the coughing to stop. I took another huge breath, and forced more air into Asher’s lungs. He coughed weakly, but with more force than before, and I did it again. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked at me. His eyes were filled with a terror that ripped me to pieces inside, but before I could try to reassure him, his beautiful eyes, always so full of expression, grew dull. I felt like my heart had just turned to ice, and the smallest touch would shatter it, but a small cough wracked his cold body. I breathed into his mouth again triumphantly.

Unconscious, not dead, I thought, relieved beyond expression. I hugged him tighter to me and threw us sideways, grabbing onto another ledge. I could feel a puddle of blood growing in the new handhold already, but I didn’t even have to ignore it. I just didn’t give a shit. I pulled us in by the new handhold, not caring at all as I left even more skin behind, and grabbed onto the next one. I had to stop here and give Asher more air, but I could feel the strength starting to return to my muscles, making me realize that we really hadn’t been on the surface for long. Asher was still coughing weakly, and I had to stop to give him air again. His lips were cold and unresponsive, but he continued coughing when I pulled away to grab the next handhold. The panic was still there, and a part of me was gibbering madly in the back of my mind, but right now most of what I felt was determination. I would not let Asher die. He was my perfect angel, and I would never see that look of terror in his eyes again. I’d take him far away from everything, to somewhere he could be safe. I’d die before I let him get hurt!

Some part of me knew I wasn’t thinking rationally at the moment, and after a second of mentally smacking myself, combined with grinding my fingers into the granite again, I pulled myself together.

Asher needs me, I told myself, brutally grating my fingers against the stone as I threw us further. I knew I was going to pass out soon, and the beach was still too far away. I needed the pain to stay conscious. I forced myself to break out of the tunnel vision I’d had since my brain had shut down, and I looked around. The cliff was still far too steep to climb, and there was nothing in the water to help us. I glanced around again as I became aware of a noise, and then my hearing came back all at once and I was assaulted by the sound of Bear barking madly. He’d almost caught up to us, and I let myself stop moving. He came closer, still barking crazily, and I grabbed onto his collar.

“Go, Bear!” I managed to choke out, past my swollen throat. He swam valiantly towards the beach, and I tried to support as much of the weight as I could so we didn’t drag Bear under. He pulled us faster than I’d been able to, and it only took us what seemed like an hour to get to the beach. As soon as his paws touched ground, I let go of his collar and stood. I felt the water sloshing around in my lungs, and I tried not to break out in another coughing fit. I grabbed Asher, barely managing to pick him up, and carried him onto shore. Bear ran around me, sniffing at Asher and whining in fear, and I set Asher down on the beach, still half in the water. Bear licked his face, trying to get him to wake up, but I ignored him and started pressing against Asher’s stomach, leaning all my weight into it. Asher’s coughs became more violent, and soon water was spilling out of his mouth. I put my hands on either side of his face, and Bear stayed further back, seeming to understand he couldn’t help, but he didn’t stop whining. I took a huge breath and pushed it into Asher’s lungs, shuddering at the horrible feeling of water trying to climb up my throat. I pushed the last little bit of my air into him, forcing him to breathe, and he coughed up a bit more water when I broke off. His coughs didn’t have the terrifying liquid sound to them anymore, and he gasped in his first breath on his own. I sighed in relief, and promptly started coughing my guts out. I managed to get all the water out, and I turned back to Asher, trying to control my shaking body.

“Asher!” I shouted, trying to wake him. It came out like a hoarse whisper, and I began coughing again. When I got it under control, I looked back over and found him watching me, unable to move, the terror still in his eyes.

“Everything’s OK,” I promised him, my voice still almost too soft to hear, and the fear receded a bit. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. I reached over, putting my hand on his chest comfortingly. It had the opposite effect, because he suddenly looked down at it, horrified. I followed his gaze, and I saw I was bleeding all over his chest.

“I’m fine,” I told him again, taking my hand off his chest and hiding it behind my back. “It’s not important. Are you OK?”

He hesitated, and then he started coughing violently. I rubbed his stomach, trying to comfort him, and he squeezed my hand in thanks. He looked down at my fingers, and I realized I’d gotten even more blood all over him.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to splash some water onto him with my other hand, but he didn’t even seem to notice as he examined my hand. He looked up at me, and I saw terror in his eyes again, barely controlled.

“You’re hurt,” he said, his voice wavering. Why, after all he’d just been through, was this the thing that almost pushed him over the edge?

“I’m fine,” I said again, closing my hand into a fist so he didn’t have to see my fingertips. I winced as the open wounds touched my palm, and his eyes widened, filling with even more fear.

“Are you OK?” I asked, getting straight to the important questions. Frankly, I didn’t give a flying fuck about my hand in the face of Asher almost drowning. I swallowed as I realized how close he’d come to being seriously hurt. More than hurt. Asher… Asher had almost died! I could feel the icy fingers of terror stab into my heart, crushing it mercilessly. “Are you OK?” I asked again, horrified that he hadn’t answered me the other two times. My mind was conjuring up every worst case scenario it could, and Asher saw how terrified I was.

“I’m OK,” he said, and I collapsed beside him, relief taking all my energy but none of the fear. I pulled him close to me, burying my face in his chest to reassure myself he was OK, and he tentatively stroked my back.

“You… you almost…” he whimpered, and when I looked up he was petrified. “You almost died!” he sobbed, and I saw all the pent up fear shatter his control as he started to cry. I felt my own eyes burning, and I hugged him tighter.

“I almost lost you!” I managed to whimper, my voice weak with terror, and then I broke down. We clutched each other tightly, trying to reassure ourselves and eachother. When I managed to get myself under control, I wiped away my tears, embarrassed, and hugged Asher again. He was still sobbing uncontrollably.

“I saw you stop moving,” he said, and he was crying so hard I could barely understand him. “I thought you’d died!”

I imagined what it would have been like to watch Asher stop fighting, his body growing cold as he accepted death and floated towards the surface, and I almost broke down again at the image. I managed to keep myself together, and I held Asher tighter against me. I could feel the sobs wracking his body, and I kissed his chest over and over again, trying to help him calm down.

“I couldn’t help you at all!” Asher whimpered, clutching me, and I tilted my head back to kiss his chin.

“It’s OK,” I told him. “I remembered that you were still down there, and I remembered what I have to live for.”

“Don’t you ever forget,” he said, hugging me painfully tight. “I couldn’t take it if you’d died,” he cried. “You mean everything to me.” He looked away, afraid, and his crying didn’t slow.

I was too tired to even comprehend what he’d said, but he was obviously afraid it would make me hate him or something. I hugged him closer to me, smiling to show him I wasn’t angry, just tired. I knew he could see in my eyes that I was too tired to understand anything right now, and he seemed to feel better about seeing it. He managed to stop crying, and he hugged me closer. I was barely aware of it, I was so tired, but I reached up to take his hand in my uninjured one and give it a kiss. I didn’t let go of his hand, and I heard his breathing settle as he hugged me protectively. I knew that he’d said more than he was comfortable with, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I’d been fighting off the inevitable collapse ever since I first surfaced, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I heard Asher’s breathing deepen as he started to fall asleep, and I remembered last night, when he’d mumbled something I hadn’t heard.

I’m asking him tomorrow, for real this time, I thought tiredly, as the warm water lapped against our bodies, washing all my blood off us.

I hope I don’t bleed to death, I thought idly, too tired to care. If I had to deal with one more thing today I swear I was going to drop dead. I concentrated on Asher’s breathing, which was approaching the comforting rhythm of sleep now. I felt myself getting calmer as I listened to him, until it stopped for a moment. This was when his breathing would start again, and it would be the rhythm of sleep I’d been waiting for.

“I love you,” I heard Asher mumble softly. Boom. I was out like a light switch.