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    Jaro_423
  • Jaro_423
  • Author
  • 10/03/2014
  • 80 Words
  • 822 Views
  • 12 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

My Poetry Prompts - 2. Haiku Happenings

In response to Poetry Prompt 2.

NATURE

Bees busy toiling

Amidst Jacaranda buds

Carpeting the lawn.

 

URBAN

Hollow chant crying

Shatters suburban quiet

Tracking the broom man.

[The broom man hawks his wares of homemade brooms along the residential avenues. To announce his whereabouts he has this weird hollow chant that carries quite far and alerts potential customers that he is passing by. Sorry, I forgot about it being seasonal though I heard him go by while I was thinking what to write!]

Copyright © 2014 Jaro_423; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 7
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

AC Benus

Beautiful! Jacaranda is both a beautiful tree and a lovely word for poetry! One question though, are the bees coming in and out of the blossoms while they are on the ground? That's the image I took away with me, and it's beautiful.

I love the broom man poem too! In Japan there are many hawkers who still ply the streets, and each one has a different call. I'm sure in my backlog of poems i have one or two similar ones about the Ishi Yaki Imo men, or Stone-Roasted Sweet Potato men, who all have lovely songs! They push around their braziers on wheels, and call out. It's like the autumnal, Japanese version of the ice cream man - kids come running to him.

See what your poem has done..? It's done its job! And brought up memories and images in me and everyone who reads it.

Jaro_423
On 10/04/2014 04:42 AM, Irritable1 said:
I love both of these Jaro! Especially the broom man, because that call sounds so eerie and unusual. But I had to look up your weather here :*)
Thank you so much for your encouragement. You have the sound absolutely. It is very mournful. Our weather is normally great and I often think we have the best climate in the world - never too extreme!
Jaro_423
On 10/04/2014 10:05 AM, AC Benus said:
Beautiful! Jacaranda is both a beautiful tree and a lovely word for poetry! One question though, are the bees coming in and out of the blossoms while they are on the ground? That's the image I took away with me, and it's beautiful.

I love the broom man poem too! In Japan there are many hawkers who still ply the streets, and each one has a different call. I'm sure in my backlog of poems i have one or two similar ones about the Ishi Yaki Imo men, or Stone-Roasted Sweet Potato men, who all have lovely songs! They push around their braziers on wheels, and call out. It's like the autumnal, Japanese version of the ice cream man - kids come running to him.

See what your poem has done..? It's done its job! And brought up memories and images in me and everyone who reads it.

Wow, Al! Thank you so much for such a wonderful response! Yes the bees are still exploring the flowers on the ground so one has to be careful where you walk. My little Schnauzer got stung on her paw and was very distressed!
Jaro_423
On 10/13/2014 11:44 PM, pDaisy said:
Excellent juxisposition between the two. I don't know anything about the structure of poetry, or haiku in particular, but I appreciate the vision that words portray and there is a vibrancy of imagery in your poems that I enjoy. Thanks for writing.

Pink.

Thank you for responding. I have always enjoyed dabbling with the haiku form though I don't think I have a great poetic soul! Haha! I have fun. Bless you for the encouragement.
Uplifted Spirit

Jaro, I put water out for my birds and for some reason all the bees and yellow jackets go to the deep bowl and quite a few of them die there. It's odd. The birds never go to that bowl. I don't think it has anything to do with the bees and yellojackets because when I didn't have the deep bowl they all shared the others. Strange. Your poem reminded me of that.

Jaro_423
On 10/17/2014 02:58 PM, Uplifted Spirit said:
Jaro, I put water out for my birds and for some reason all the bees and yellow jackets go to the deep bowl and quite a few of them die there. It's odd. The birds never go to that bowl. I don't think it has anything to do with the bees and yellojackets because when I didn't have the deep bowl they all shared the others. Strange. Your poem reminded me of that.
Are yellowjackets some sort of insect? It is strange how that is so but it seems they find the deeper bowl difficult. I find the birds prefer a shallower bowl, more like a large saucer, in which they can stand easily and then dunk in the water and have a good flap.
Guest Arazon

Guest Arazon

Posted

I don’t know much about haiku, but I admire the visual I get from so little words (which I imagine would be a challenging task). With ‘Nature’ I see the bright colour of the bees and flowers and hear the hum as they toil. With ‘Urban’, I’m not familiar with the broom man, but the line ‘hollow chant crying’ gives me the impression of a deep drawn-out sound (forgive me if I’m wrong, I only get the ice-cream man).

Jaro_423
On 06/17/2016 10:44 PM, Arazon said:

I don’t know much about haiku, but I admire the visual I get from so little words (which I imagine would be a challenging task). With ‘Nature’ I see the bright colour of the bees and flowers and hear the hum as they toil. With ‘Urban’, I’m not familiar with the broom man, but the line ‘hollow chant crying’ gives me the impression of a deep drawn-out sound (forgive me if I’m wrong, I only get the ice-cream man).

Right on the button with the sound. Yeah I love the haiku discipline and the neatness of the few lines expressing a thought or two.

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