snapshots - 1. getting;laid

Getting laid

It was late October and fall was in full swing. The paths and lawns in the small park were littered with leaves in all shades of red, yellow and orange. A few isolated trees were clinging to the last leaves, unwilling to surrender defeat and to prepare for the long wait for spring to come.

A man, dressed in warm, earthy colored clothing, made it's way across the grass, ignoring the paths that criss-crossed through the park, to get to one of the benches that surrounded the small fountain. While walking he frowned and slightly shook his head whenever his feet dragged through the leaves on the grass that were still wet from the rain the night before. With a quiet sigh he sat down and let his gaze wander around his surroundings.

Only a few people besides him were in the park at this time. He glared at two elderly ladies with their lap dogs, that were barking or more precisely yapping at each and everything. How anybody could stand such annoying beasts was beyond him. His eyes then spotted one lonely sport enthusiast who was jogging along one of the circular paths that would pass close to his bench.

His eyes followed the runner, soaking in every detail that he could make out from the distance. Sadly there was not much to see right now, except that he was wearing simple sweatpants and a hoodie of which the lower part of the zipper was slightly closed, to keep it from flopping around. Short brown hair topped a head that was resting on nicely proportioned shoulders, that were part of the overall impressive stature.

Slowly the jogger came closer and he could make out more details. Underneath the hoodie he was wearing a simple white shirt, that was sporting a darker spot on his chest from the sweat. The shoes didn't show any brand that he'd ever seen. The pants weren't of the overly loose kind, but they didn't made him look like he was dressed in a sausage casing either. The face wasn't one to make it on a cover of a fashion magazine but it was certainly above average for his taste.

He tried to keep his staring of the jogger discreet while the guy passed him by at a relaxed speed. When he was sure that the jogger wasn't able to notice, he lifted his eyes again to get a look at his back. The loose pants weren't definitely not loose on his backside. Instead they hugged his butt in a very delicate way that didn't leave anything to the imagination. Jasper swallowed hard and tried to find something different to focus on.

When he couldn't spot anything interesting, he opened his jacket and took a small notepad and pen out of a pocket inside. Flipping the cover to the back he read the first page:

1. Paint the apartment

2. Clean out the wardrobe

3. Get rid of old books and other stuff

Those three points on the list were struck out by a bright red text marker and underneath was written a new list in the same bright red which contained only one point:

1. GET LAID!

He smiled when he remembered the day before yesterday. Penny came over so they could get on lunch break like usual and saw him writing this list. She took the notepad from him and gave his list this resolute work over.

"That's all you really need right now, Jasper!" she said while handing back the notepad. Her eyes pierced into his: "You can leave the planning to paint your wardrobe and throwing out your walls or whatever for later."

"And how do you think this will work, assuming I'd really take you serious? As if someone would want to get laid by me.", he replied scoffingly.

She looked at him quizzically for a second before asking: "You're not really serious?"

"Oh my! You are serious. Alright, time to get some things straight." She grabbed his arm and started to drag him behind her. They made it along the corridor and finally came to a stop at the open office of their coworker Samuel. She stopped in the middle of the room, pulling him beside her. Samuel looked up and his face showed amused curiousity at the scene in front of his desk.

"Penny", Jasper started, "what the heck are you trying..."

Before he could finish she shut him up. "Shush!" Ignoring him she turned to Samuel: "Sammy, little Jasper here has a slight misconception about him and I thought you would be able to provide us with an unbiased answer."

Samuel's curious expression was now completely replaced by amusement. "Sure. If I can be of help, just ask."

Jasper opened his mouth again, but before he really had a chance to sort through everything that was racing through his mind, Penny started to explain: "I thought it is about time that our sweet Jasper here gets laid. You see, Sam, Jasper here thinks that there is no one that would be interested enough in his charms and good looks to get it on with him. So I thought it is about time to prove him wrong."

Sam's eyes widened with Penny's explanation and he had to try hard not to burst out laughing when he noticed Jaspers embarrassment. "And how do you think I can prove him wrong?" he answered, raising a brow slightly.

"In a hypothetical situation, in which you weren't his coworker and both of you would meet in a bar or somewhere. Would you think you were intersted in this dashing exemplar of the human species? Or in other words, would you kick him out of your bed if it weren't inappropriate?" she asked grinning widely.

Leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms across his chest, Samuel looked at him thoughtfully before he finally answered: "Purely hypothetically, of course. I would kick him out of the bed and even the apartment." He smiled and continued, "If the performance isn't to the satisfaction of the customer, which in this hypothetical case, would be me. Does this answer your question?"

Jasper turned to Penny and glared at her as if he was trying to set her on fire with his eyes. "I can't believe you did this!" he hissed before storming out of the office.

The crunching sounds of gravel tore him out of his reminiscing and he saw the jogger coming close again. Jasper noticed him looking him over and flashing a smile. He wasn't totally sure but thought he noticed a slight change in his posture. His chest was puffed out more. Yeah, probably marking his territory, Jasper thought, before looking around to see if someone else was around the jogger was trying to impress.

He stole another glance of the beautiful backview, before his thoughts started to drift again.

After the humiliating scene in Samuel's office Lunch was pretty uncomfortable. Penny tried to make it up to him and told him over and over how sorry she was. He wasn't really mad at her, it was just typical Penny. She meant well, she just doesn't have a clue how to manage without going totally over the top. It was his kind of revenge, to let her think he wouldn't forgive her.

A smile crossed his face when he remembered that she pointed out all the guys that she thought were trying to flirt with him. He couldn't see it and frankly he was pretty sure that Penny only saw what she wanted to see. You just smile, when you notice someone looking at you. No big deal, nothing special, right?

He raised his head when he heard the jogger coming closer. This guy definitely was trying to make an impression on someone, the way he's running, Jasper thought. He smiled back when the Jogger passed by and gave him a slight nod. Again his eyes followed him to get sneak another peek at this marvellous cotton covered butt. He noticed too late that the jogger turned around and was now running backwards watching him staring. He felt his face getting hot, the ears burning and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

He tore the page with Penny's stupid list from the notepad before putting pen and pad back into his pocket. Crumbling the torn page into a ball, he stood up and started to leave the park. He slowly strolled along the path and his face lit up as he remembered Samuel coming into his office yesterday. Trying to excuse his teasing the day before. He even sounded genuine when he assured him, that he certainly would try to chat him up, if they weren't working in the same place.

Jasper noticed too late that he was on the path the jogger was using and before he could change anything about it, he heard the crunching of the gravel again. He looked up and noticed the examining look of the guy coming closer. He wasn't sure if the smile was a friendly one or more of a sneer. He tried to look away but the green eyes of the jogger seemed to have captured his gaze and weren't letting him go. His steps faltered slightly and after nearly stumbling as the jogger passed him he continued on his way.

The scent of fresh sweat that lingered behind the jogger hit him and he couldn't help but look behind him for one last glance at the man. Again, the jogger had turned around and was now jogging slowly backwards. Jasper was about to turn back when he noticed the jogger losing his balance as he tripped on those wet and slippery leaves. With a loud curse the jogger was down and Jasper hesitated just for a moment before walking over to him.

"Everything alright?" he asked holding out a hand helping the jogger getting back on his feet.

"Yeah, I think so.", the jogger answered. Dusting off the leaves that were sticking to his pants he went on: "My sister told me I needed to get laid, not sure if she meant it like this. But I guess she has a point when the first handsome guy I run across manages to throw me on my back."

Jasper was listening to him rambling on without knowing how to react or what to say.

Blushing and now clearly embarrassed the jogger continued, "Shit! I can't believe I said that."

"Glad I could be of service." was his lame answer after Jasper managed to get his brain to catch up again.

Still slightly brain fried, he turned around and continued ont the way towards his home.

He didn't notice the crumbled paper falling to ground, he didn't hear the jogger calling out to him, he also didn't see the joggers broad smile and he certainly didn't notice the guy starting to follow him.

As he left the park he saw the old café that he often visited and he decided to enjoy some nice coffee before returning home. Sitting at one of the free tables next to a window facing the street he sipped his coffee deep in thoughts. Get laid! Like that's going to happen anytime soon, he thought with a quiet sigh.

A hand shoving a crumpled piece of paper over the table in his direction, startled him. When he looked up he was again caught in the gaze of those green eyes. He looked down at the paper and noticed another point on the list.

0. Get on a date (0143 782 66239)

He looked up, only to notice the jogger leaving the café, when he passed the window at Jasper's table he stopped and held his fist up to his face with his thumb and pinkie stretched out to mimic a telephone. Smiling at Jasper he mouthed: Call me.