shamayne

Overall an interesting read, but there are some points that left me incredibly unsatisfied. The ending feels a little bit like a soap opera that's been cancelled in the middle of a story arc due to lack of viewers. Too many questions unanswered, too much unexplainable behavior from professionals in the health department. Too many, well, many. A lot of those unexplainable things (at least to me), feel like they have been entered to serve as a deus ex machina. Gary's dad who has ties to someone/thing/where to get rid of everyone who hurt David, which also seem to involve David's father and grandfather. The journey to New York (or wherever) without any obvious reason or explanation. Ginny's blindness to the real state of David. It all feels like it happened so David would be more or less completely alone by the end of the year, without any real explanations of the how and why. Are there any plausible answers to those things or did it happen just for dramatical reasons like in those hilarious horror movies where the blonde girl runs screaming into the arms of the axe murderer instead of silently trying to find a way to safety. Up to the point where David goes all out ninja investigator everything makes sense, after that pretty much everyone starts acting crazy and does exactly the opposite of what I expected, based on their previous behavior and what is said. I tried really hard to understand and find reasons for all the strangeness, but that only caused me to feel less for everyone involved. Maybe, just maybe, Twoey would have been better of with Erik and David at the bottom of the lake. For me that would have been much more plausible than what really happened AND it would have saved David from Twoey, which I absolutely can't stand anymore. Also the idea to have Ginny as his therapist... Good luck with that David, you need it. Don't get me wrong, I like your writing SkinnyD, but compared to Toph's empty Year, I don't know what happened here or maybe I am just to blonde myself and should start taking screaming lessons so I can find my one personal axe man ;-)

@Timothy: I think you mixed up Mark and Carl I have a few mixed feelings about laying all the blame simply on society. Like Kim said: It takes two to make a 'situation'. And the scene after the party isn't the first time Carl can't keep his hands to himself and and 'drops' the responsibilty solely on Mark to not let it go to far. Still he has the audacity to lay all the blame on Mark later in the confession at the pub. I can understand his argumentation but all this reasoning makes it pretty clear that Mark probably got away (for the time being) before it gets even worse. Funny how the perception of a person can dramatically change when this person isn't able to acknowledge their own responsibility. Carl, you suck (at least for now).

What I find interesting is that Twoey rules out Matty as potential boyfriend material *because* of the promiscuitive bbehavior and yet he seems to welcome the "candy along the way"... talk about hypocrites. I would laugh my ass off when he finally finds out he could have had David and gets the finger because he valued the candy a little bit too much. That would really make my day. Don't get me wrong, I like Twoey but maybe someone should point out to him to be slightly more picky when it comes to casual encounters because in the end there is always a price to pay.

Oh, she did read the list correctly, she was merely making fun of it, although I admit that it often times is a sign of 'I know better'.The idea behind the scene with Samuel/Penny/Jasper was: Samuel is Jasper's and Penny's superior and the guy has a strict policy of keeping business and pleasure apart; well, sort of at least. It's something that I didn't get across clear enough, I fear. Jasper couldn't really act on the apology as it's simply not in his nature, at the time being. I am wondering if I should give this story a rework as I'm not quite satisfied with the way it turned out. I originally planned on making those pasings of the jogger more, erm, in-your-face. The whole spectrum of 'manly' courtship behavior, just short of pounding the chest and grunting. Hearing that the flashbacks worked puts me at ease, I was afraid how to implement them to be not completely artificial. Frankly, I was surprised by the review, as you mention things that I wasn't even trying to address consciously. So, yeah, this review really made my day.

I'm not sure what to make of this story. I tried to make sense of a lot of things while reading this but I couldn't. There are so many logical mistakes (at least I think those are mistakes). I just mention a few that are still fresh in my mind. - Jamie and Matts vacation at the police station (after the joyride). Hunter Sr. comes into play after being busted (which means he must have done something shady again) still Jamie says "he really has changed". I mean, 15 year old kids may not be the brightest cookies in the jar, but I sincerely doubt that they are that stupid. - Matts confession AFTER Jamie blurts out to Shawna and the lobby full of his class mates that he is gay and he still says nothing to Matt himself? - The movie project: Was this Shawn really convinced he's dating a girl? Seriously? The idea of the project is intriguing. That the three were able to pull it off, not so much. Then it sometimes feels like the story is rushed in other parts, for example when Jamie meets his brother Jake by chance. He gets pissed back to Donovan, his father shows up and ta da Jake knocks at the door. How did he know the address in the first place? Jake leaves and his teacher nudges him to talk to his brother and Jamie calls him right away. Where the heck did he get the phone number in the first place? I won't go into the issues I have with understanding Jamies reactions in most of the situations in the first place. Most of the times they don't get explained and without explanation they just don't make any sense. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but at this point the story feels like a second rate soap and all the drama is just there for drama's sake, which in the end doesn't add up or serves any purpose. I think it would be a good idea to find someone who is willing to check the chapters for those kind of mistakes, as it is easy to lose the focus for such things as the writer. God knows I've done more than my share of it myself. Overall I like the characters of Matthew and his parents and James. The english teacher is great okay, too, although I have my doubts that there would be teachers that take in a student, just due to legal issues.

This is a really good summary of an abusive relationship that builds on the physical part. Those are the kinds that are more easily spotted. There are sadly a lot of other kinds that aren't even acknowledged as abusive by the majority. Having been myself in a psychologic abusive relationship for 8 years it took me 12 years AFTER it ended to really realize what exactly was happening and I still haven't really come to terms with it. The end results are serious trust issues and plainly not being able to believe in the good of people anymore. Ah well, life sucked before, it just sucks a little bit more now.

Thank you for these very encouraging words. Now I wish even more to find the right words, a dictionary only helps so much. It's lacking in so many ways compared to what I had in mind when I started it.You're not alone with that wish...

If I am honest, I have to confess that I'm curious as well how a possible date between Jogger-Man and Jasper would turn out. My fear is, as much as I know about Jasper so far, with his social blindness it would turn out in a complete deseaster and that's not what I want for those two. Jasper would probably get hit on by some other guy and he would just be his usual self smiling friendly, Joggi-Bear would become jealous and go completely bonkers and challange the rival to a stupid pissing contest and everything goes nuts... Do we really want something like that? I don't even want to think about Penny coming to the rescue.There is another short that starts to take shape in my head. It's this guy with this crush and a small problem with panic attacks (well, sort of). Not sure how to pull it off but it already drives me crazy and that is usually a good sign.

Believe it or not, I once knew a guy that was totally oblivious just like Jasper, okay maybe not completely off the grid like this guy, but close. Sadly I lost touch to him.Sorry to crush your hopes, but those shorts are one shots with a common theme of quirks and odd behaviors that people Harbour. If Jasper will be used in another short it will be about something different if at all.

Very short stories. This is what happens when I don't get my needed drugs like Coffee, Chocolate, Potatoe-Chips or Nikotine. My brain shuts down and makes me think strange stuff. Feel free to join me on a journey into some weird situations that sometimes border on the bizarre.

Getting laid It was late October and fall was in full swing. The paths and lawns in the small park were littered with leaves in all shades of red, yellow and orange. A few isolated trees were clinging to the last leaves, unwilling to surrender defeat and to prepare for the long wait for spring to come. A man, dressed in warm, earthy colored clothing, made it's way across the grass, ignoring the paths that criss-crossed through the park, to get to one of the benches that surrounded the small fo

After lurking around and trying to follow to many "in Progress" stories manually, I finally decided to Register and use those 'nifty' (ha ha) Features. Still fighting with this auto-correct stuff in this Editor which I have no idea where it's coming from... Oh well, I just ignore it for the time being. Stumbled upon GA after trying to find the rest of a Story that wasn't completed over at Nifty, but Google was nice to Point me over here. After finding a lot of really good stuff, compared to the cheap porn lit at many other places, I decided to stick around. Now I'm trying to translate some of my own snippets to come somehow close to the Quality here, but it's hard. Until later, T-.