Blake & Ben (A New Beginning) - 5. Chapter 5 - "Just Stay"

- BLAKE ABEL FOSTER -

After the beautiful scenes of love, lust and a private concert performed by yours truly, we lay together in my bed, wearing nothing but our boxer briefs. I breathe in Ben's scent, wishing Febreze bottled it in an aerosol can. My head, again, is resting on his chest as my finger lightly begins tracing his right pectoral muscle. I start near his armpit, work my way down underneath his nipple then, up the middle of his chest. I feel him shiver.

"Mmph. That tickles," he says, with a smile in his voice.

I chuckle then make an audible humph.

"What's wrong," he asks.

I raise my head from his chest and lay on my side, propping my head on my hand as I look at him. I remain silent for a bit, just smiling at him, totally in love. I could stare at his face all day and never find a flaw. Never find anything I'd like to change. Never get bored or sick of looking at him. I sigh and finally speak up.

"You've screwed yourself, Benjamin Jaxon," I say, tapping the tip of his nose with my index finger.

"What are you talking about... Blake Abel," he asks, smiling - I assume at the fact that we’re using each other's middle names.

"You've pulled me in too hard and too fast, Ben. Your hooks are so deep in me, it's hard to breathe. You can't ever get sick of me, got it? 'Cause you're stuck with me now." I smile at him, drunk in love.

He sits up a bit, seriousness washing over his face. I can see something in his eyes, but whatever it is, I can't quite decipher it.

"That's never going to happen, you hear me? I told you I love you. I told you you're my first and my last." He pauses, looking me in the eye, letting it sink in. "I fell for you the moment I laid eyes on you. I mean that.” He lightly holds my face with the palm of his right hand. “I know ‘kids’ our age drop that three-worded bomb hastily, not really understanding the weight of it. But, I know what love is. Love is you, Blake."

I sniff and blink, to fight back the burning in my eyes. My God… How did I get so lucky?

I manage a smile and say, "You come here to me," in a jokey, flirty tone.

He wastes no time. He pushes himself on top of me and lowers his face to mine, planting the softest kiss on my lips. He slowly raises his head and looks down into my eyes. It's his turn to trace me with his fingers. The look on his face is still and studious, as if he is deeply studying my face, trying to remember every curve, every detail. He starts at the tip of my nose, lightly running his finger up the bridge of it and over my eyebrow, down around my eye to my cheek, then under my chin. The light touch brings what feels like goosebumps to my face.

"You're too damn cute when you do that," he says, finally smiling that smile that warms my heart as I open my eyes.

"When I do what," I ask.

"When you blush," he says, swiping his thumb slowly back and forth across my cheek.

I lean into his touch as he cups the side of my face with his hand. I nuzzle into it. I could stay here, just like this, never letting go. Not having to keep this as a memory. This could be my life from here on out and I would be happy.

"Just stay..." I whisper under my breath.

"What‘d you say, baby," he asks.

Oh, he called me ‘baby…’

"Just stay…” I say, smiling blissfully. “Stay here... with me... like this," I say, looking into his eyes.

His eyes slowly bounce back and fourth, looking into both of my eyes before answering. "Okay."

With that, I slowly close my eyes, as he repositions himself on his side. His hand is still holding onto my face and I can feel his thumb softly going back and forth across my cheek, lulling me to sleep.

***

My eyes shoot open at the sound of the garage door opening underneath my bedroom. I immediately see Ben's sleeping face, his mouth open slightly ajar, his breath steady as he sleeps. We are both still laying on our sides, facing each other, foreheads touching. His hand is barely hanging on to the side of my face, where I last remember feeling his touch.

"Shit," I exclaim, shooting up out of bed, startling Ben.

He inhales deeply and stretches. "What is it, babe?"

Oh! Now, he called me babe... Not now, Blake. Quit being a giddy, little girl. More pressing matters await.

"I think my Dad's home," I say, tossing him his discarded clothes. "Hurry and get dre-..."

I'm cut off by the site of his hard on as he removes the blankets from his body, the shirt and shorts I just tossed at him slowly slide down his face where they landed. I make an audible gulp, loud enough for him to hear. He grabs at the shirt and shorts and looks up at me, seeing what my attention is drawn to. Using his muscles, he makes it twitch under his boxers. I swallow, loudly, again and let out a loud exhale.

"And, dear God, please do something about that before I get both of us in trouble," I say, a smile creeping across my face.

My thirst for Ben is currently outweighing the fear of my Dad walking upstairs and finding us like this.

I turn my back to him and bend down to pick up my own discarded clothes. I hear him get out of my bed and feel his footsteps approaching me. Suddenly, Ben's hands are gripping both of my hips and pulling me into his still hard member. I push myself back into it even harder, bringing an “Mmph! from his throat. The seriousness of the situation at hand, of my Dad finding us up here, nearly naked, has disappeared into the far reaches of my mind. I'm not using my head right now, well, not the one on my shoulders anyway.

I stand up, my back pressed against Ben's chest and crane my neck to look back at him as his hands begin exploring my abdomen and chest. His exploring hands, his touch, I feel it in my very core. I lose feeling in my legs as my knees begin knocking together. Our faces are brushing up against each other, only stopping for a quick, half-assed kiss. I'm breathing heavy and am on the edge by this point - on the edge of stripping out of my boxers and ripping Ben‘s off his beautiful body. When he bites my earlobe, I melt and damn near go over the edge of that proverbial cliff.

I have to pull myself back into the now and the seriousness of the situation as I hear the garage door lower. That means my Dad's vehicle is now in the garage and he is either walking into the kitchen from the garage or is already somewhere in the house.

"Ben," I exhale a little too loudly, a little too sensually, "I want you so bad right now… God, do I want you… but, if we don't stop, my Dad will find us. And before he kicks my ass, he will most definitely kill you. So, please..." He grabs my hard member through my boxerbriefs and squeezes it. "Uhn... Fuck. Ben, please," I say, bumping my ass back into his groin, but not in a sexual manner. I'm trying to push him off my body before we get caught. He's so much stronger than I am, I can't escape his clutch - not that I want to, I have to.

He finally releases me and lets out a rather sinister chuckle. I pull up my red Under Armour shorts and slide an old football t-shirt over my head. I turn around to Ben and run my hand through my hair as he lowers his own shirt over his head. He's still smiling. My eyebrows raise as a serious look replaces the lust driven one I had a moment ago.

"You just wait, Benny Boy. You're gonna' fucking pay for that," I say, pointing at him.

"Oooooh, I'm trembling," he says, swatting my ass as I pass by him.

I stop dead in my tracks, look over my shoulder and cock an eyebrow. "Oh, I'll have you trembling, alright."

This time, it's him who lets out an audible gulp.

"Now, let's go downstairs and act natural. We'll say we were up here playing Xbox. One on one in Call of Duty, I whooped your ass, blah-blah-blah..." I say, laying out the plan.

"Please, babe. I'd own your ass, in more ways than one," he says with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, just do me a favor. Try not to act like you just had your dick rubbing up against my ass," I say, smiling.

"Up against it... In it... Whatever..." he says, with a cocky smirk.

I've never seen this flirty, jokey side of him before. I fucking love it. It makes me love him even more. I bring my hand back, threatening to swat him in the face. But, the smile on my face betrays me and calls my bullshit. I can't help it, I pull him into my body, my arm around his neck. His hands instinctively find my hips and rest there.

"I fucking love you, you know that? I could just explode," I say, pressing my body into him.

He looks down at me with adoring eyes. The look on his face is sheer bliss. His eyes look into mine for what seems like an eternity. I look back into his. If I don’t stop, I’ll get lost in his beautiful hazel eyes. I notice his eyes turn up in a smile as he lets out a sly chuckle.

"The evidence of that 'explosion' is now a stain on your sheets, you know that, right," he says, smiling.

I remove my hands and playfully punch him in the chest. I go to turn around, but Ben grabs me from behind. He wraps his arms around my waist, his hands overlapping across my abdomen and pulls me back into him, not with a sexual undertone, but love. He rests his head on my shoulder, rubbing the side of his face into my hair.

"You're everything to me, Blake Abel."

He plants a kiss on my cheek as a knock comes from my door. Panic jolts through my entire body.

Oh, fuck!

I motion for Ben to go grab an Xbox controller. He does as he is told - he knows now is not the time to be cute. He does a quick, awkward jog to my television and entertainment center and grabs one of the black controllers. He turns on the Xbox One and the TV in one fowl swoop, then plants his butt on the carpet.

"Come in," I say, approaching Ben in a hurry to take a seat next to him.

The door handle jiggles. "It's locked," my mother's voice says outside the door.

Oh, thank God. It's not Dad.

"Oh, sorry! Just a sec," I say standing back up.

I walk over to the door, unlock it and back away, allowing my mother entry into my room. She a small step in with a smile on her face.

"Sorry, honey. I didn't interrupt a jam session, did I," she asks.

I can't help myself, I smirk, thinking, "No jam session, just Ben jammin' 'dat dick up my ass," in an Ebonic accent.

Ugh! Not now, Blake! I snap out of it and answer her, "Nope. No jam session. Just hangin' out with Ben," I say, opening the door a bit more so she can see Ben sitting in front of the TV.

"Oh, who do we have here," she asks, with a chipper tone in her voice.

Ben places the controller on the floor, stands up and walks over to my mother with his right hand extended. She takes his hand in hers’ as he introduces himself.

- BENJAMIN JAXON SMITH -

"Hi. I'm Ben. Ben Smith. My family just moved in down the street."

"Oh, yes! The old Wilson place. Good to see that house full again. It sat vacant for entirely too long! Good to meet you, Ben,” she says with a genuine smile. “Where did your family move from?”

“Colorado,” I say nodding with a nervous smile.

“Oh! Colorado is beautiful,” she says, her eyes lighting up. She looks back over at Blake. “As if it's not entirely obvious, I'm the mother to this handsome young man, here."

Mrs. Foster grabs Blake around his shoulders and pulls him into her motherly embrace, planting a kiss on the side of his head. I can't help but stand there and smile as Blake pushes away from her with embarrassment. Blood rushes to his face and his cheeks turn rose red.

God, I love when he blushes. He's too damn cute. Too adorable.

"Hello? Ben, honey?"

Caught up in my adoration for Blake, I snap back to present time. I look at Blake, his eyebrows are raised, eyes slightly wide. He's worried I'm going to blow our cover.

"What was that, Mrs. Foster? I'm sorry," I say, smiling.

"I was just telling Blake dinner will be ready in about an hour and that you're welcome to join us, if you'd like."

I look at Blake for permission. He smiles and slightly nods his head.

"That'd be great, Mrs. Foster," I say, smiling again.

"Ugh," she says, sticking her tongue out like she just tasted something terrible. "You're making me feel old with that 'Mrs. Foster' crap. Call me Kelly," she says with a smile.

I nod at her and smile. She takes a deep breath, raises her eyebrows and takes a deep breath. "Alright! I'll let you boys get back to business."

I snicker under my breath as she steps out from the doorway. Blake quickly closes the door, pushing in the locking mechanism on the door knob. He walks up to me and punches me in the arm.

"Are you trying to blow it," Blake says in a serious tone.

"No," I say, still snickering. "But, if you're up for it."

I pull him to me and dig the tips of my fingers into the waistband of his Under Armour shorts. He smacks my hands away.

"Not now, handsome," he says, kissing me on the lips.

"Yes, now, cutie," I say, pulling him back to me for an intense make-out session.

- BLAKE ABEL FOSTER -

I literally have to pry myself away from him. This is all new to me, a loving relationship. A loving relationship with sex. I want it all and I want it now. I just want him. But, I know better. As much as I want him right now, I know that not only would it be disrespectful to my parents, should one of them come barging in here while Ben is balls deep in... well, you get the picture. But, it would also out me to my parents.

***

I'm not so sure I'm ready for that. Not saying the thought hasn’t crossed my mind in the past couple of days. I love Ben that much. I love him so much, I’m actually contemplating the thought of coming out to my parents.

Oh, God…

My mother, I'm not too worried about. Her brother, my Uncle Jeremy, is gay. She's always been very supportive of him and his lifestyle. Has always stood up for him to their parents, my Grandma and Grandpa.

But, my father on the other hand, I'm petrified.

I couldn’t tell you how many times he would mock my Uncle Jeremy behind his back. Making homophobic comments under his breath before taking a sip from his drink at family gatherings. You wouldn’t believe how much it killed me, hearing him say those awful things. I mean, my God, he has a gay son - he just doesn’t know it.

My father is the definition of a man's man. Tall, well built and in shape. He's been a police officer with the Liberty Police Department for twelve years. While well accomplished in his line of work, years on the police force have put a strain on his relationship with my mother.

He's one of those cops you always hear about - bringing the job home with him. Drowning his sorrows into the large bottle that's in the cabinet above the refrigerator. He was a recovering alcoholic before joining the police force. The alcohol problem nearly caused a divorce years ago when he unintentionally broke my right arm.

- JUNE 1^st, TWELVE YEARS AGO -

I was only six at the time. We were in the backyard, and him being the manly man that he is, he was teaching me how to play catch. He was determined to get my onto a little league slow-pitch baseball team that summer. I showed no interest in it. I would much rather be in the house, playing video games or playing with action figures.

He was on his sixth or seventh beer that afternoon and was nearly hammered. He threw the ball entirely too fast and too hard for someone of my size. So, after the fourth or fifth time that I failed to catch the ball, he got angry. A slur of cuss words and, for some reason, homophobic comments poured from his mouth.

He approached me rather quickly and tossed his glove to the ground.

"If you can't catch the goddamn ball, you might as well give me that fucking glove back!"

He grabbed my gloved hand and yanked so hard, he pulled me forward along with him. I heard a sickening snap as I teetered over and hit the ground. The pain hit me like a ton of bricks and I let out a blood curdling cry.

My mother came tearing through the sliding glass door as soon as she heard my cry. She knew allowing my father to teach me how to play catch, while he was drunk, was a bad idea. My father was standing over me asking if I was alright. The sick sounding snap and my crying popped him out of his drunken stupor and brought him into a groggy, unbalanced reality.

"Blake, bud, I-I’m sorry. Are you okay," he asked reaching down for me.

My mother pushed him out of the way and scooped me up into her arms, my chin resting on top of her shoulder, as her hand caressed the back of my head. She turned and faced my father.

"You son of a bitch. If you ever lay a hand on my son again, I swear to God..." she didn't finish the sentence. She just loaded me into the vehicle and rushed me to the hospital.

Later that night, I heard them in the kitchen as I got up to use the bathroom. I tip-toed down the hall, stopping just short of the kitchen as I rested my newly casted arm on the wall to balance myself.

"...I told the doctors and nurses he fell off the slide at the park. I'm not lying for you ever again, Hank. If you don't get this drinking problem of yours under control, Blake and I are leaving. I'd rather Blake grow up and come from a broken family rather than go on living with a drunk, abusive father and a blind mother."

She sat there and stared intently at my father for a moment before she got up and stormed past the dark hallway I was standing in, completely oblivious to the fact that I was there. I peeked around the corner and saw Dad sitting at the kitchen table, elbows resting on the wooden surface, his hands covered his face as he cried his heart out.

My father began going to A.A. meetings that week. Then, later on that autumn, he enrolled himself into the police academy.

***

"Earth to Blake," Ben says, waving an Xbox One controller in my face. I snap out of it, and look at him. "Welcome back to the here and now, cutie. Ready to see how I've master prestiged more than once in Call of Duty," he asks, smiling and raising his eyebrows a few times.

I smile at him and grab the controller he hands me. My finger brushes the side of his hand as I look up at him.

"I love you, Ben," I say, tears forming in my eyes.

"I love you, too, babe," he says, smiling that handsome smile.

I've come to the realization, I do need Ben. I need all of him. Just those few minutes, while my mother was in the room with us, I wish I could have introduced him as my boyfriend - not just a buddy. I don't want to hide our love anymore than I need to. Tonight, after he leaves, I'm going to come out to my parents.