Billy's Newt 13th Birthday - 1. Billy Newt's 13th Birthday

Billy Newt’s 13^th Birthday

By WL

 

The universe is a joke wrapped in a field of deadly radiation, dead worlds, and the occasional intelligent life that knows how to stay clear of all the crap that can kill you. I look at my life as a joke really; an unwanted troubled preteen going into his teenage years with a litany of small crimes like theft and vandalism, plus a history of sexual abuse. I’ve moved from home to home throughout my life without a place that I can honestly say is a place I belong, because someone does something wrong, my ass is still sore from the last “good” home, or they decide “you are just too much trouble”. Fuck that, seriously, I am just too real for you guys. You think you can just have a plain orphan kid without serious problems or feel good about being one of those “Christian” stereotypes. News flash, the system is filled with kids like me, who aren’t exactly clean cut and innocent.

This new home is only slightly better than the last few; Nick and Rick are two fags that hooked up and wanted to form a family together. Nick is 39 and Rick is 26, which is kind of weird that we’re all 13 years apart in age. I got no problem with them; they don’t want to touch me, nor do I really care about who pokes who in their bedroom. After all the dicks I’ve taken up my ass, I don’t really care if two dudes do it, because they “love” each other. I don’t care about chicks, I don’t know if I am a fag either, but love to me is like a weird fucked up reaction that no one can explain. I don’t think love is real at least for me. Like I’ve been with a few fag couples over the years, they’re all pretty much chill, but in the end, none of them wanted to keep me after the shit hits the fan. Where’s their unconditional love for me, huh?

I’m not a bad kid, like I don’t kill little animals for kicks or intentionally harm people. I just don’t give a crap about what other people expect or want from me. If I want something, I just take it; like my PS Vita, I lifted it from the case of a Best Buy as the idiotic clerk was trying to sell himself to a bunch of college girls. My iPod is courtesy of an old classmate, who let his mouth run too long with some jock friend in gym class. If you don’t want to give me shit, just don’t let your guard down and make it so easy.

Sometimes, if you piss me off or I feel like you need to take life less seriously, I play a few pranks. My two best friends, Ethan and Jason, join in on some of the bigger pranks, like lining a church’s pews with hardcore porn printouts after the priest ranted for an hour about the evils of “lust”; shit, can you get anymore boring? It was funny to see the entire congregation staring in amazement and outrage at the various sexual positions that were strewn across the aisles; I was also very liberal, I included a few gay porn action shots, too, just to get everyone into it. Suffice to say, my foster parents at the time found out it was me due to an internet browsing history program, which was kind of fucked up that they put it in to spy on me.

Well, that’s my story so far, I am just 12 years old Billy Newt, fucked up foster kid, who’ll probably end up in Juvie and be some guy’s bitch. Only good thing to happen to me is that I am now in the same middle school as my two best friends. We met at a weird summer camp organized for inner city kids or something when I was 9; they tried to theme it after Harry Potter, like broomsticks hanging by wires, weird cotton robes, and even a “fake” 3-headed puppy all in the woods of Vermont. Seriously, if you really wanted to inspire “magic” and “wonder” why the hell do you have a 3-headed puppy. After the camp, we got close despite our different circumstances and kept in touch.

Ethan is a good bit taller than me or Jason, he’s 5’11 with black hair, and he has a regular stable family. I met his mom and dad once during dinner time; they were dressed up like vampires, but seemed pretty chill. Ethan has a “weird” dietary problem; he’s a “pure” vegan, no animal products at all or else he says, he will “die”. Also, when we were at camp, he gets really grumpy during the morning; we were roommates and it took Jason and me to wake him up every morning.

As for Jason, he’s a little taller than me at 5’9 with curly brown hair, and he has a less normal situation in his family. He lives with his older brother and his brother’s boyfriend, because his parents died when he was still a kid. He wouldn’t say what happened to them, but it sounds like Ethan and he have talked as Ethan just nods, when we mention that part of Jason’s past. His brother seemed pretty chill and we usually hang out around his house before I got new “parents”. An interesting quirk about Jason, he doesn’t sleep with his clothes on; I’ve seen him naked in the morning. As for his diet, Jason will practically eat anything that can breathe and for some reason enjoys chewing on carrots. I’ve thought about messing around with him or both of them, but I never got a chance to get them alone long enough to even try to get in their pants until recently.

Well, my birthday is today and it sounds like I might actually get a “real” party tonight between Jason and Ethan coming over to stay and my “parents” keeping it low key with something “special”. I’ve been begging for a PS4 with not so subtle hints, plus the newest Assassin’s Creed. It’s harder to steal a console and keep it than a portable video game system. Last time when I was 10, I pinched a Wii from Wal-Mart, but my prior “parents” found it in the pillow case. I hide the PS Vita in a stuffed bear that I got as a birthday present last year from the asshole. I know they might not get it for me, but I still can dream.

After school, the three of us just began walking and talking like usual, except they were heading back home with me:

 

“I think Jordan was checking me out in Gym”

 

Ethan with his backpack strapped on one shoulder, “Seriously, you don’t seem like his type.”

 

“Why? He’s just black with an average sized dick.”

 

Jason chimed in, “You were checking him out first.”

 

“I’m just comparing, Jase, relax. Not everyone is automatically gay just because he likes to look at another guy’s dick.”

 

Jason shot back, “Yeah, but you said “average”, which means you were comparing more than one dick at a time.”

 

“Sue me, I like to look around; besides, it’s not like you and Ethan don’t take peaks.”

 

Ethan squeamishly replied, “I…uh…just want to know who is getting hair.”

 

“E, your pubes are like less than an inch high despite being as tall as Meyers Leonard, while Jason is getting a trail down his stomach already. Seriously, are you using Rogaine on your pubes and chest Jase?”

              

Jason just blurted out, “Uh…It’s sort of genetic; like some guys are hairless and I am just extra “hairy”…Billy, why are you on my case when your pubes are growing like a wild rainforest?”

 

“I don’t have a trail up my body on both ends. I am proud to have the bushiest pubes in gym class.”

 

Jason laughed, “Well, you have to be proud of something in gym, because you’re sure not good at sports.”

 

“Hey, I can throw a ball and catch it.”

 

Ethan punched my shoulder, “Like hitting my nuts today, when we were playing a pickup game with Alvin and Kris. Seriously, it still stings.”

 

“Come on E, it’s just because you’re abnormally tall and got no cushion down there.”

 

I began to run after that comment, while Ethan followed close behind with Jason in pursuit, Ethan yelling “I’ll show you cushioning!”

 

Midway to my house, Ethan caught up to me and landed a quick jab to my gut, and then I instinctively pushed him away. I didn’t think I actually pushed him or even had the power to, but next thing I knew, he and Jason were lying the pavement about 2 yards away from me looking on in shock. I went back to them and I lend a hand to Ethan, they both said nothing else through the entire walk. Fuck, I really screwed up with them back there, but I didn’t know my own strength. I hope it doesn’t ruin thing between us.

When we reached my house and opened the door, I was half expecting a big surprise party with cake, a piñata, and some other crap that my prior “parents” had done. Except, there was nothing, except a small note:

 

“Billy, please follow Baxter downstairs to the basement.”

 

“That’s weird, where are they and why should I follow the dog?”

 

Jason and Ethan looked at each other in that, I know something gesture, “Dude, just do it.”

 

I hate surprises that everyone is in on except for me. I know they want to surprise me with something, but I just hate the idea that my friends were keeping secrets from me. They already talk privately, when I am not around and I kind of feel left out.

Baxter is a golden Labrador, he’s kind of smart for a dog, but he is not above licking and whining for milk bones and chew toys. I like dogs especially this breed, since I was a kid. During my time at the summer camp with Ethan and Jason, a similar Golden Labrador puppy followed me around. It was weird, like when I was lost on a hiking trail, he’d be there to help me find my way. Plus, late at night, I could swear that the puppy would crawl under my covers and snuggle up to me. In some ways, he reminds me of Jason; they both have the same glint in their eyes and a funny kind of endearing annoying quality.

Baxter appeared suddenly after I read the note and bowed his head, then turned to go down the stairs leading down to the basement. When we reached the basement, it was completely empty. Was this a prank on my expense?

 

“Like what gives?”

 

Baxter eying me and my friends responded, “Come with me.”

 

What the fuck, “you can talk?”

 

He didn’t respond, but he definitely got my attention as we followed him into a wall. I’ve seen the special effects of the Harry Potter movies, but damn, it feels so weird to actually go through a solid wall and arrive at another place. It’s sort of disconcerting and unbalances your inner ear, like you was just on an airplane going a million miles a second. Still, I had arrived at my destination, a weird candle lit room with Nick and Rick standing at the center near an altar in weird white robes. I was kind of freaked out, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was chicken or anything.

 

“Okay, let me guess, I am some kind of magic chosen one or whatever.”

 

Nick shook his head, “Something like that, you are a warlock, Billy.”

 

I searched my memory for that term, “So, I’m like a wizard or something?”

 

Nick shook his head in expressing dismissal, “No, not yet at least. Warlocks become wizards, when they have proven their hearts are pure and noble. In your current form, you are still more aligned with chaos.”

 

Rick trying to soften the tone, “Don’t worry, you’re not that bad, I was setting fires left and right, when I was your age. Actually, I am still setting fires off, just for business instead of pleasure.”

 

I turned to my two friends, shocked at their own complicity, “You guys knew and what you’re Warlocks too? Why didn’t you guys tell me?”

 

Jason looking slightly hurt tried to explain, “I wanted to, but there are rules that we’re not supposed to interfere in your development until you hit 13. I really wanted to tell you about me and my pack. I tried to give you hints and hoped it would reach your thick head that I was a werewolf.”

 

Then it clicked, “You were the golden lab that followed me at camp…Wait, you said werewolf?”

 

Jason skirted nervously towards me, “Yeah, well, I can transform into any canine or lupine form, because my ancestors were part of Odin’s hunting pack. I was there with you at camp and when you saw me standing naked near your bed. I thought you’d seen me transform, but you just assumed I slept nude. My brother, Andrew, and I sleep in canine or wolf form together, I was homesick being alone in bed, so I was subconsciously going over to you like sleepwalking.”

 

Ethan chimed in, “Like I was also trying to point it out to you too, I am a child of two vampires, but you never really picked up on the fact that my parents don’t show up during the day time, or their actual appearance at Camp.”

 

“Seriously, you’re a vampire, but I’ve seen you eat Tofu and bean sprouts every day?”

 

Ethan nervously moved towards me as well, “Well, Vampires aren’t like what you see in movies or books. Twilight really made a joke out of Vampires and Werewolves. A child can be born of two vampires and still be human at birth. However, upon our first source of animal or human protein product; we become full vampires, basically stop aging and need living blood to survive. My parents have to kill people, usually criminals, in order to stay alive. It’s why modern vampires keep their kids on strict vegan diets until they reach 18, when they are fully matured, so they can choose to be turned or not. It gives guys like me another choice in life.”

 

I didn’t know what to think; seriously all of this is too much to take in, “Anything else, you guys been hiding from me?”

 

Jason making puppy dog eyes, “uh…Ethan and I are betrothed…it doesn’t mean anything though, just a formality.”

 

“Wait, you two are getting married?”

 

Ethan shook his head, “Technically, vampires and werewolves actually share a friendly alliances between packs and family clans. Since, we’re the youngest members of our groups; they just formalize their alliance by an arranged marriage.”

 

Nick jumped in before I can pry any further, “Look Billy, the world is not what you think it is. Vampires and werewolves have their rules and customs, so do we. You are a warlock, twice cursed and twice blessed by the old Gods.”

 

“Twice cursed and twice blessed by the old gods? What do you mean?”

 

Nick looked to Rick, who cleared his throat to explain, “The old Norse Gods, like Odin, Thor, and Freya were patrons of mankind. They gave us tools to make homes for shelter, food for nourishment, and weapons for defense or attack. Some humans were even given forbidden wisdom, like magic. A group of them were given their powers by the traitorous god Loki, who aligned himself with the Giants during Ragnar. After Loki lost the war, the humans were cursed by Odin with the name “Warlock”, meaning “Traitors with Loki” in the Old Norse tongue. For centuries, they were hunted and hated throughout the world for their betrayal of the old gods, until a boy named Merlin came along. I don’t need to tell you his story. Suffice to say, Thor, who became King of Savard after his dad Odin had passed on during Ragnarok, blessed Merlin and his descendants with a new title, “Wizard”, which meant “wise ones”. However, when magic tore apart the world with the struggles of Merlin and Morgana La Faye and destroyed Avalon, Thor sought to limit magic. He placed a curse to limit our numbers, every 13 years; only one Warlock can be born. So you see, Warlocks are what we are born as, but through our choices in life, we can become Wizards, which is actually a cool power boost. Still, you don’t need to be a wizard if you don’t want to; warlocks are highly respected and feared even without the Norse blessing.”

 

“So, why didn’t you guys just tell me sooner? Why didn’t you guys come after me earlier?”

 

Nick cleared his throat, “It was for your protection as well as ours. You might have noticed that there are only three of us left, no one 52, 65, 78, 91, or even 104. They all died out either due to persecution or Witch hunters, or the “Holy Knights of the Black Circle”, formed after the fall of Camelot to hunt down all remaining Warlocks and Witches alike.”

 

“You could have tried something, maybe make my ass inaccessible, when some of those “good” foster dads wanted a “magical” time with me.”

 

Rick appeared before me and placed a hand on my shoulder, “Billy, we wanted to take you in, since you were placed in foster care at 3, but you know the state won’t allow gay guys to adopt foster kids 10 years ago, let alone a 29 year old gay man and his 16 year old boyfriend. There are a lot of things we can do magically, but we can’t force people into doing something their hearts are dead set against. Look on the bright side, if we had gotten you earlier, Nick wanted to change your name to Mickey, so you were spared a childhood of embarrassing comparison to mice and Disney.”

 

“So what now, are you guys shipping me off to a magical boarding school?”

 

Rick smiled, “Don’t be silly, like Nick said there are only 3 of us left and most of the magical schools around are for witches. Unless, you want to go through a transformation spell…”

 

“Hell no, I like my dick!”

 

Nick turned serious, “Witches are nominally our friends, but their covens have a lot of weird politics and there are a few guys that join them, mostly fem guys. They’re power comes from the Earth itself, not through Asgard or the higher planes of existence.”

 

Personally, I don’t like to be around fem guys; even in the old fag …err…gay couples, it felts so awkward to be around a guy that acts like a chick. They’re chill and all, but I just don’t see myself ever falling for someone like that. Nick and Rick didn’t seem effeminate at all; they’re just two regular guys that just so happens to like each other’s dicks. I can understand and live with that. Now that I am a Warlock, I get the difference; I’m like the manly version of the other guys, which makes a lot more sense to me. Maybe, I really am gay.

Looking over at my friends, I was checking out Jason’s sweatpants, which were noticeably tenting up. Now that I know he’s a werewolf, it explains all his strangeness, but the constant boner in his pants makes me wonder if he wanted to try something more with me, other than snuggling up as a puppy. He did say that he and Ethan were not really a couple, despite being married or something. I wonder if he likes it doggie-style.

 

A man came out of the corner of my eyes; he looked like an older version of Jason dressed in orange robes, “These things still itch so much; I’d rather be in my other form.”

 

Rick went over to give the man a kiss, which was surprising, “Baxter, you look so cute in your orange robe, maybe, I can make one that fits you in your dog form.”

 

“Wait, you’re Baxter. Did you just kiss him?”

 

Nick spoke up, “Rick and Baxter were college roommates and we became really close to each other. We’ve sort of formed a three person relationship. That’s why you see Baxter sleep in our room at night.”

 

Baxter laughed, “Sleep is not the word I’d use, more like if you give a dog a bone, he’ll lick and…”

 

Rick punched Baxter in the shoulder, “We’ve got guests, you horny dog, one of them is your nephew.”

 

Baxter whimpered, “He’s seen a lot more than that with his brother Bryan and Andrew. I was watching the little pup at a pack meeting that ended in a furry orgy.”

 

“Uh….”TMI”…can we get back to this whole weird situation, like I am a warlock.”

 

Nick laughed at my outburst, “You definitely can be a good leader in your own right. Alright, first things first, did you experience any burst of power yet?”

 

“I…uh…did push Ethan several yards away earlier without touching him.”

 

Nick nodded, “Telekinesis is a good first sign of real magic. You will figure out your natural element later, which is the element of magic that you can control best. I am a water elemental wielder or hydro-kinetic. Rick as you could guess from his love of fire is a pyro-kinetic. The other two are terra-kinetic for earth and aero-kinetic for air or weather. We can test to see your alignment now, if you just put your hands into this bowl.”

 

I walked up to the altar and placed my hand in the empty bronze bowl. Nothing happened, not even a snide remark from a talking hat. Then, a little black bird with mistletoe in its claw flew down and landed on my hands. Seriously, I thought this was a magical experience or something; why the fuck did I end up with a little feather. I want a giant flood or a wall of fire.

 

Nick and Rick were both too shocked to speak; I just had to ask, “What the fuck is wrong? Am I like too fucked up to being a warlock or whatever?”

 

Rick shook his head, “No Billy, you don’t understand. This raven, we call him Muninn, was Odin’s personal messenger, which means the Asgardian Gods grant you access to all magical knowledge without limits. However, the mistletoe is considered the most powerful symbol of death. It was the only thing to kill the indestructible Baldur. It’s also a symbol of mischief, since Loki had made his first betrayal by tricking Hour into killing Baldur by throwing the mistletoe at him.”

 

“Um…It’s just a few leaves, how can it hurt anyone? If the Norse Gods were that wimpy to be killed by a little leaf, no wonder everyone switched to Christianity.”

 

Nick grew grim, “That’s a more complicated story for another time. Suffice to say, Christianity and magic users have not had good relationships. As for Baldur and the Norse Gods, they’re eternally young, but not invulnerable usually. Odin died during the last war, because he was killed. Unlike other “Pagan” deities, they’re just normal guys with a lot of power and potentially eternal youth if they are a peace.”

 

Baxter howled softly at Nick’s explanation, “Those guys are basically frat boys on steroids, who spend most of their time playing sports and drinking beer. They’re wise when they’re sober and have great feast of meat, but I wouldn’t read too much into what they might think.”

 

“So getting back to me, I have no element?”

 

Nick shook his head, “Well, Muninn’s appearance means you’re aligned with the air element, so you have weather manipulation potential, but also the ability to have as much control as Merlin once did with some training from us and a lot of studying. It’s a rare gift and another curse, since it usually only appears during times of war. I am just…”

 

Rick calmed everyone down, “Let’s get the ceremony over with, we can worry about the future later.”

 

The entire ceremony was what you’d expect from a magical induction; some pyrotechnics from the candles surrounding everyone, a few weird songs that I can’t understand, and a flash of blue energy. Yeah, it’s cool, but it felt sort of empty and lonely. I get that there aren’t that many warlocks or wizards, but why couldn’t they have invited some more vampires, werewolves, or even the witches? Was secrecy really that necessary for safety?

After the ceremony, we all gathered to get back home with Baxter back in his golden lab form in between Nick and Rick. Jason and Ethan moved nervously parallel to me; they seemed unfazed by the events, but were scared to be around me. Hell, I’d be scared to be around someone, who might be starting a war. It only took a few magic words, which sounded like the same language as the songs, then we were all back in the house.

 

“So, are we going to have a real birthday party or was that it?”

 

Rick smacked me playfully over the head, then directed my sight to a pile of gifts and a double chocolate cake, “Jeez, Billy, you got to learn to trust us. We won’t leave you hanging. This is your birthday, not just your coming out party as a warlock.”

 

Well, if they keep this up, I might even start giving Baxter his weekly baths, which for a dog that can turn into a human being should be a lot easier than the water spraying machine he actually is. I think I finally understand why Rick is the only person, who can wash him. I wonder how the relationships between Nick, Rick, and Baxter work with each other; it’s so unlike any type of love story I’ve ever heard or seen.

The gifts were awesome; I got my PS4, a dozen games, the new copy of Assassin’s Creed, plus a dozen other “real” gifts. I was half afraid these guys would give me a broomstick or a wand that can actually do magic and stuff. I know it’s kind of stupid, but I’d rather have gifts I know how to use and that is more immediate to my interests than something that lets me fly, explode, or turn into a fish. Maybe some kids want to do all that and more, but seriously, I just want to play video games, chill with my friends, and enjoy my life. After all the crap, I think I deserve some peace in life.

Jason and I took huge slices of the cake, while Ethan moped around with some strawberries covered in Chocolate. I feel really bad for Ethan, more so than I did before. I never got into the entire Vampire thing that everyone jumped into, but Ethan’s life is worse than just sucking blood to stay alive, he’s cursed to either live a limited human life or become a killer to stay alive. Compared to that, Jason and I have a really good life despite our families, which brings up another question I wanted answered from Jason.

After the party was over and the three of us were ready for bed, I grabbed Jason and Ethan into my room and shut the door.

 

“Alright with all the weirdness, I need to know a few things,” Jason and Ethan nodded, “Alright, my first question, How did your parents die Jason? I know it’s connected with all this crap.”

 

Jason frowned at the point blank question, “I…was 6 and my brother was 14. Our parents were considered the familiars of the last Warlock/Wizard generation before Nick and Rick. Do you know what a familiar is?”

 

I shook my head, Jason began to explain, and “A familiar is what humans consider the animal companions of witches and warlocks. For witches, it’s usually a cat that they transform into humans. For warlocks, it’s usually werewolves of Odin’s line, who chose to be their companions. My uncle Baxter was able to lead out both Nick and Rick from the old house, before the Witch Hunters torched it. They along with a few of my pack were able to escape, but my parents and the other warlocks stayed behind to defend us as we were escaping.”

 

“Why are they coming after us, if I remember the show, Merlin and the Wizards were good guys?”

 

Jason shook his head, “The Holy Knights of the Black Circle was formed by a decree from the Pope at the Time after the collapse of Camelot and Avalon. While Merlin was a good guy, he also came from a really bad line of Warlocks, who had helped to destroy both realms. After Merlin died, there was no distinction among witch hunters; they didn’t care as long as you had magic.”

 

That explains why secrecy was so tight and made me wonder about Jason’s own desires, “Do you want to be my familiar?”

 

Jason beamed as I asked him that question, “I was watching your ass every time you got lost on the hiking trails at camp, called the cops on one of your former foster fathers after seeing what he was doing, and I helped get the attention of a few clerks away from you when you were lifting shit. So what do you think?”

 

“Well, outside being a stalker, you’re an awesome friend.”

 

Jason threw a pillow in my direction, but I reflected it back at him, I love telekinesis, “Alright, I’m sold at having a puppy around. Now, Ethan, how do vampires fit into this picture?”

 

Ethan fidgeted, “Well, I am not a vampire yet, but we’re kind of dark aligned…basically, we helped the bad guys in the last major war. Some like my parents are moderates, who want to live side by side with human beings, werewolves, and magic users. The Knights of the Black Circle are also tasked with hunting us along with a few other groups from witches and werewolves, too. Basically, the world really doesn’t like vampires.”

 

“Wow, must be pretty lonely being a vampire or being closed to being one.”

 

Ethan nodded, “You can’t imagine how bad it feels sometimes. Sunlight doesn’t hurt me, but I am photosensitive and I hate waking up in the morning, which means I am really tired in the morning and at school, I can barely focus.”

 

“Isn’t there something I can do, like a magic spell or something to help?”

 

Ethan nodded, “You’re not there yet, even Nick doesn’t have the skill to perform a conversion spell of that magnitude. Vampires were human warriors cursed by the first demons on earth. Only Merlin himself has ever been able to convert a vampire into a human again.”

 

“I promise. I’ll turn you into a real boy, one day.”

 

Ethan laughed, “Dude, I am a real boy. I just can’t eat animal protein. It’s not that bad.”

 

A thought just occurred to me, “So you guys never had sex?”

 

Now both of them turned red, Jason stammered, “I…uh…”

 

Ethan smiled, “I can’t have real sex; even with this arranged marriage thing between us. The most I’ve done was jack off with Jason.”

 

I don’t know if it was subconscious, but Ethan’s pajama bottoms slid off immediately to reveal his patch of pubes, he screamed in shock, “Dude, What the fuck!”

 

“Sorry, I was kind of distracted.”

 

Jason eying Ethan and me, “Do you want to try jacking off together?”

 

I want to do more than that with Jason, but I want to include Ethan in as well, “Sure, let me take care of our clothes.”

 

It’s going to be a fun first night as a 13 year old; this is hands down the best Birthday ever!