Magic Man - 2. Chapter 2

Part 1

The next morning, I woke up with my hand aching and my body crying out for just a few more minutes of sleep. I looked at the alarm clock, and realized that I had only gone to bed three hours ago, give or take fifteen minutes. The time flew by in a single blink, the cradle of sleep caressing me until my reality was so rudely interrupted by the clock next to my bed. The second I stopped the alarm from blaring loudly in my ear, I closed my eyes and felt myself being lulled into a deep sleep again almost instantly. Shit...I really don't wanna get up right now. Fuck! Stupid school! Why couldn't today be a weekend?

I tossed and turned in frustration for a few minutes, before finally giving up my warm spot under the sheets to sit upright on the bed. I felt my blood trying to get itself in motion again, feeling like mud in my veins. I had spent HOURS on that damn drawing last night, working on every painstaking detail, making sure that it came out better than perfect. My hand had actually cramped up on me at one time, forcing me to take a well deserved break. But once the cramp was gone, I got right back to work on that artwork. This was the one to almost break me, and after putting so much thought and effort into it, I knew I had to make it amazing.

Of the three, it was probably the hardest to get right. Probably because of the subject matter. I'm sure that Gideon is gonna take one look at this picture and laugh at me. Boys aren't supposed to draw pictures of other boys. Not unless they're queer and abnormal....like me. Maybe he won't notice. Nah, look at how gorgeous I made him, of course he's gonna notice. Stupid. I should have drawn something else entirely. Something safe...like a pile of dog shit on the sidewalk.

I stood up, rubbing the sand out of my eyes, and lazily walked over to my desk top. Yeah....this is way too pretty to be the work of a heterosexual teenager. I made sure that I covered the drawing with a book last night, just in case my mom came in and saw it by mistake while I was sleeping. I adjusted the semi-erect ogran in my boxers a bit, and gently lifted the book to gaze upon the artwork that I had been agonizing over for most of the night. I half expected to hate it, now that some time had passed since I finished it off. I was sure that a second glance would cause me to cringe and immediately begin ripping it to shreds, just from the embarrassment alone. But....surprisingly, I still liked it. My eyes were scanning desperately for mistakes, but even the flaws I made in the drawing seemed to add a certain genuine personality to it. Wow...I can't believe I actually did that.

I stared at the drawing for a while longer, softly sighing to myself. There he was...in all his glory. Joshua Roth...sighhh...just beautiful. I never tried to actually draw someone from memory before, but with Josh...it came so easily. I spent so many heartbreaking days mentally licking every single inch of him that it wasn't hard to remember his every delicate feature in detail. I even made sure to draw him in one of my favorite shirts that I liked to see on him. The purple and white long sleeved one that always made him look so cuddly. You know when you get the right shirt on the right boy, and it just makes you want to touch and kiss and hug and squeeze him every minute of the day? That's what it was like. I stared at the sketch, noticing the attention that I paid to his beautiful eyes. The extra pencil strokes that I added to get the golden glory of his hair just right. And his body frame....wow. I remember actually getting chills as I drew in the sensual curve of his neck, the flat of his soft belly, and the lickable hint of a v-line heading down into his faded jeans whenever he stretched, his shirt rising slowly to reveal his stomach. God, he was dreamy. It was almost like having a piece of my fantasy right there in the flesh, looking at that drawing. And just like the real thing, I could stare at it all day.

The sweetened nature of his features were so soft and smooth, giving him the fragile appearance of a newborn bunny. But that's just how gentle his features were. Like a dream, ready to fade away if you pushed too hard to focus on it. I even drew a few of his hairs lifted back, as though a gentle breeze had carried it in its embrace. Yeah...this is way too gay for me to show to Gideon. I've gotta change it. I'll...I'll just tell him that I messed up on the drawing and I wanna make a better one. Besides, I think I wanna save this one just for me. Just to....stare at from time to time and remember what it feels like to be totally lost in someone. It will help when I'm feeling down.

I'll have to give Gideon a substitute though. What else can I draw? I guess I could do, like, a bounty hunter or something more manly like that. Ooh, I've got a good idea for how I want it to look too.

Just then, the phone rang...

I put my geometry book over the sketch, and walked over to answer it. "Hello?"

"Why did you cover it up?" Said the voice on the other end.

"What?"

"The drawing. Why did you cover it up? I want to see it." What the hell?

"Gideon?"

"In the flesh. I'm coming to check out the drawing, so get that book off of it and let it breathe a little."

"How the hell did you know that I...?"

"Are you gonna open your bedroom door, or should I knock first?" He said.

"Huh?" Just then, I heard a knock at my door. How the hell does he DO that??? I slowly walked over to the door, and opened it up just enough to peek into the hallway. There Gideon was, standing in the hall with a cell phone in hand, smiling at me with a mischevious sparkle in his eyes.

"Are you gonna let me in?" He said, hanging up the cell phone.

"How did you get in here?"

"Your mom let me in on her way to work. I called from downstairs."

"She left without me?"

"I told her we'd be walking to school today instead of her giving you a ride. She said it was fine. Nice lady. She offered me some bacon." He said, holding up a piece and taking a bite. "So....are we gonna talk through the door all 'cloak and dagger' like, or are you actually gonna allow me inside?"

"I'm not...decent."

"Nothing I haven't seen before, trust me. We were both built with the same parts. Of course...mine happen to come from a bigger mold." He grinned, and I slowly opened the door to let him in my room, hiding behind the door a bit. I think a part of me was still dazed by how amazingly unaffected he was by what I might be thinking about him for bursting into my house unannounced like this. But Gideon was never really one to be self conscious about much of anything. His confidence seemed almost limitless when he was around me. It was both impressive and aggravating at the same time. Gideon proudly walked into the center of my room and looked back at me as I stared at him, not knowing whether to be insulted by this intrusion yet or not. "What?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"You're looking at me like you haven't seen me in five years or something. Wake up, braniac, we've got a lot to do today."

"We...we do?"

"Yes indeedee! You wanted to be popular right? No better time to start working on that than the present. Don't you think?" He walked over to my desk, and put his hand on my book to lift it up a little bit off of the drawing. I instantly tensed up with a slight gasp, and he looked up to see my reaction. He smiled at me, seeing how worried I was. He didn't lift the book all the way off of the drawing, he did it just enough to make me nervous. "So you finished the third drawing last night? That's good. Did it turn out the way you wanted it to?"

"Um...actually...I was kinda thinking that, maybe I could do another one. A...a better one." I got more flustered as Gideon used his thumb to slowly flip through the pages of the book. Lifting the cover up, and letting it fall. Lifting it up and letting it fall. The pages fluttering down with every lift.

"What's wrong with this one?"

"It's...uhh...I mean it's not really...what I..." He lifted it some more, and then, with one more big grin, he lifted the book off of the drawing completely and took a look at it. Shit! I was busted! I flinched and closed my eyes in humiliation while he stared at the picture in silence. Why did I have to make such a 'faggy' sketch of Joshua Roth? Huh? Why? I should have hidden it in the drawer instead of leaving it on top of the desk like that. Stupid!

An eternity passed while I cowered in my terrified thoughts of being exposed, and then Gideon asked me, "So who is it?"

I opened my eyes, feeling my heart pounding and my chest rumbling with fear. My mind was already thinking of a thousand excuses as to why I would be drawing nearly erotic pictures of a cute blond teenage boy from school. It was a natural instinct to cover it up with as much dirt and mud and emotional concrete as humanly possibly so that no one would discover my dirty secret. I could just deny it all. I could say that it was a friend. Who is Gideon to suggest that I'm gay? This boy could just be some random sketch for all Gideon knows.

"It's not a trick question." Gideon said, looking down at the drawing and tracing the lines with his finger. "Who is it?"

"The boy in the picture?" I asked, hoping to buy me a couple of extra seconds while I get my lies straight.

Gideon looked up at me with a sarcastic smile. "Yes, Gavin. 'The boy in the picture'. Who is he?"

"He's....I dunno...just...some guy I know. From school I mean." My voice was trembling at this point. Hide it, Gavin. Don't let him figure you out.

"Just some guy you know from school, huh?" He asked again, and I nodded. He picked up the paper and held it up to his chest to show me. "I really like this one. I like the attention to detail. The shading. The pressure you used in your pencils is so firm in some places, but oh so gentle in others. It feels like you put a lot of emotion into this. This drawing came from the soul. I wouldn't change a thing." Ok, so far so good. Let me just grab my stuff and get him out of my room before he thinks twice about it.

"Yeah. I guess. It's nothing special though." I said, downplaying everything about it as he put it back down on the desk top. "We should probably get going if I'm gonna walk. School isn't necessarily around the corner..." Whew...thank God he didn't start looking deeper into the whole thing.

"Gavin, are you gay?" Gideon asked me so quickly, so matter-of-factly, that my entire body seemed to instantly lock up and go into shock. It was like being hit by a fucking truck!

"Wh-what???" My stomach began to sommersault beneath my ribs, and my hands were shaking.

His grin got bigger. "I asked you if you were gay." He said again. Speaking bravely, clearly, staring me directly in the eye. And it shook me to the bone.

"Wha...Why would you ask me that?"

"Don't avoid the question. Just answer me, yes or no." He said. I stuttered and stumbled and even tried to laugh it off a bit as though it were a joke, my eyes being directed down at the floor. Gideon giggled right along with me for a second, then after a short pause he got serious and asked, "So are you?"

"Dude...c'mon...what...I don't know why you would even think..."

"It's not a difficult question, Gavin. Just tell me."

I had no way to stall him. And I couldn't think with him staring at me like that. My mind froze up on me and no answers would come. No one had ever just come out and just....ASKED me like that before. Ever. "I'm not...well...what do you even mean by...by 'gay', anyway? Like, that could mean...anything, really..."

"Well...it can mean 'happy', and it can mean 'homosexual'. Right now I'm asking you if you're a homosexual. It would make me 'happy' to know." He said.

"You're...you're just...weird..."

"Ok, let me make this as simple as I possibly can for you. Do you prefer penis...or vagina, when you're thinking about sex with another person?" He was talking to me like I was slow or something, mocking my hesitation. Was he making fun of me? Could he see the answer in the instant blush on my face? There was only one thing that I could say. The champion phrase for every closeted teenage homosexual on the planet...

"That's really none of your business." Ah yes, the old 'none of your business' manuever. A classic. It's right up there with 'Why, are you?' and 'I haven't decided yet.'

"Actually, Gavin, it is going to have to be my business very soon if you want me to help you. Remember what I told you? If you give me an honest effort, I'll give you honest results. But I can't do that if you start getting squeamish everytime I ask you a simple question."

"I'm not getting squeamish!"

"Then answer the question."

"I already told you what the answer was."

"No you didn't. You said it was none of my business, and that's not the same thing. So...spill the beans. Are you gay?" He waited a few seconds for me to answer, raising his eyebrows as he saw my mouth open reluctantly with nothing coming out of it. "Are you gay, Gavin? That's all I need to know."

"WAIT! Gimmee a second to think!"

"What is there to think about?"

"Nothing! I mean...I'm trying to tell you!"

"So tell me."

"I WILL if you shut up long enough!" I said, then he stood with his arms folded in perfect silence, waiting. Shit....

"Need more time?" He asked after a moment of two.

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult, you're being difficult. I asked you a simple question with a yes or no answer and you can't tell me. Why?"

"Just...leave it alone, ok." I said, and walked over to my closet to grab a pair of pants to put on for school. The faster I'm out of here, the better. I don't have to tell him anything if I don't want to.

"Again with the 'alone' stuff...sighhhh..." Gideon said. "Ok, listen...I'm not here to judge you one way or the other. If you're gay, be gay. It's great. But you've got to be real about it. This whole excercise isn't about being 'normal', it isn't about being 'perfect', it isn't about being what you think people want you to be. It's about being honest. That's all. There's nothing to worry about, I promise." He walked over to me, and put his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. "Understand, Gavin...if you want me to, I can get you butt naked and bumping uglies with the hottest girl in school, but it's really not gonna do you much good if you'd rather wrap your lips around some boy's sausage after track practice." He grinned. "So...let me ask you again, and be honest with me....are you gay?"

I let my eyes drop and fiddled with my belt loops for a second, but he lifted my chin back up with his fingers to look him directly in the eye, and waited for my response. I don't think I had ever said the word outloud before. I had been choking it back for so long that it nearly brought tears to my eyes just trying to get the voice to say it. "You already know, so why should I have to say it."

"Don't say it for me, say it for you." He said softly. "Come on....just try it. Say it."

It was like a large lump of coal in my throat, struggling its way to the surface, and when I finally opened my mouth, my eyes watering up slightly from the strain...I said, "Yeah...maybe. Just...just a little bit...gay, sure. I...I think." Was that a confession? Hell, I don't even know.

I saw Gideon giving me a strange look, trying not to snicker at my half assed attempt to tell him that I was gay. Then he let go with a laugh. "Hehehe, I suppose that's a baby step in the right direction."

"You're laughing at me." I pouted.

"Yes, Gavin. Yes, I am. Hahaha!" He giggled. "But, you DO realize how silly that sounded, right?" He ruffled my hair, and flashed me a grin that made me smile too. I guess it did sound kinda stupid. "Alright. So, my Gavin is just a 'little bit' gay. Ok. Great. We'll see if we can work on getting you just a 'little bit' laid, then. Cool?" I snickered a bit to myself and gently shoved him as I nodded with a blush. I couldn't believe that I had just made the biggest confession of my life to a boy that I hardly even knew. But you know what the craziest part is? The second that awkward sentence left my mouth...my entire spirit felt a hundred times lighter. Almost weightless. "So..." Gideon said as I put on my shoes, "...You want the boy in the picture?"

My heart sped up at the mention of it, but I tried to calm it down a bit. "I'm not gonna let you con me into thinking that it's gonna be that easy." I smiled, my bashful eyes looking down at my feet.

"You let me worry about how easy or how hard it'll be to get your hands on him. All you've got to do right now is concentrate on telling me what you want. Making it happen just so happens to be my specialty." He gave me a pat on the back and backed away from me to let me finish getting dressed. I was putting on a belt when he clicked on my computer without asking. "Password?" He asked.

"It's private." I told him. Then, I suddenly felt a slight dizziness come over me, and my eyes rolled back for a moment while I leaned on the closet door to keep from falling over.

"Euphoria...got it." He said, typing in my password while I fought to get my balance back. He got into my computer files and looked back at me. "Sorry. I shouldn't do that. It's cheating. I suppose I'll pay for it later in the balance." Who IS this boy???

My homepage came up, and I blushed a little. "That's just..."

"...A Gilligan's Island screen saver, yes, I can see that." He said, typing away to search through my things.

"I know it seems...kinda geeky." I told him. "It's just a joke, that's all. I'm not really a big..."

"I didn't ask for you to justify your taste in tv sitcoms, Gavin. Just having a peek at your computer, that's all. Finish getting dressed." He said without looking up. I relaxed a little and went to my dresser to put some deoderant on. "You've gone through a lot of trouble to hide your gay activities on this computer, haven't you?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No." He said immediately after I asked. I suppose I should've expected that answer. "So what do you like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, aside from the boy in the picture. What is it that you're looking for. Someone blond, someone brunette, redhead, tall and thin, short and stocky, supermodel teen heart throb or the quirky boy next door? Do you like them aggressive, submissive...maybe a little bit 'kinky'? What's your type?"

I thought about it for a minute or two and told him, "I don't know. It's not exactly a certain type, really. It's more like...a feeling, you know? That feeling like...like you could just love him and enjoy his existence from any distance, even if he doesn't even notice you're there." I said, sitting down on my bed as my knees weakened with visions of Josh dancing through my thoughts. "Only certain people are able to give me that feeling."

"And this boy...he's one of them, correct?"

"Yeah." I sighed dreamily. "Joshua Roth. From the moment I saw him I knew he was something special, you know? It was like...love at first sight." Gideon spun around in the computer chair and smiled warmly at me. "I guess that's pretty ridiculous, huh?"

"No. Not at all. Perhaps you just see something in his aura that attracts you. Its perfectly logical." He stood up to come over and sit next to me on the bed. "Afterall, they say that there's more magic in the power of love than anywhere else in the universe. Love is the kind of influence that makes all things possible."

"Yeah, well don't go breaking out the candy and flowers yet." I said, my mood sinking slightly. "Joshua Roth is beautiful. Beyond beautiful."

"And you're not?" Gideon asked.

"Look at me, dude. I'm hardly in the same category as he is."

"I agree. But that's only because you think of yourself the way you do." He told me. "Suppose Joshua Roth didn't think he was beautiful either? Suppose he didn't like his nose? Or his teeth? Suppose he wished he was taller, or his hair was a different color, what then?"

"He'd still be gorgeous." I sighed.

"How would he know unless the right person came along and told him so?" Gideon asked. "What if you were that person?"

"Whatever. Let's just go..." I said, getting up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"No...not whatever. Talk to me. Don't run from your demons, they can run a lot faster than you can." I turned away from him, feeling that ice cold shadow cover my world in black all over again. Choking on its thick toxic atmosphere. "Henry Ford once said, 'believe you can, believe you can't, you're always right.' And it's true. The more you doubt your own value, your beauty, your confidence...the less chance you have of someone seeing all of the wonderful things there are to see in you. You subconsciously bury it under a mask of inadequacy. Don't. Your thoughts and desires...your will power alone...is what makes things happen. That's where the true magic lies. Right there beyond the doubt ad the fear, waiting to get out and make you the person you want to be."

It was strange. But through all of his sassy comments and borderline rude antics...Gideon was being surprisingly warm and friendly this morning. I still wasn't sure if I should keep my guard up or not though. People this blatantly open aren't usually this cheerful about it. "You really believe in all this magic stuff, huh?" I asked him.

"Absolutely." He told me. "And you will too, in time. Like most people, you need 'proof' to believe. You need some kind of concrete definition so your mind can handle the new information as more than just some long forgotten fairy tale. But it takes time. And it takes practice. More importantly, it takes faith."

I thought about it a second, and asked him, "Do you think I'm ready?"

"If you have to ask me that question...then the answer is no." He said. I looked down at my shoes, not knowing how to take that. But he added, "I can't validate your level of ability for you, you'll have to do that on your own. But you can't help but find it. It's all around you, Gavin. All the time. You don't have to chase it, it's right here. You don't choose magic, the magic chooses you. All you have to do is be open to it."

"How do I do that, exactly?"

"That's what we're here to learn, now isn't it?" He grinned. "You have to find your own method of belief, and let it grow with your experience. Your limitations depend on you." I was sorta understanding what he said, but some confusion still remained. "Imagine that the world you live in, the choices you make, the magic and power of your spirit, were all websites on the internet. Think about how many thousands of websites you've been to in your lifetime, based on your own needs and desires, curiosities and interests. Life is the same way. You build your perception based on what you've experienced so far. You follow me?"

"I think so..."

"Ok...so now, try to imagine how many millions of websites there are out there that you HAVEN'T been to before. Imagine how much information you're missing out on. Imagine how many soul mates, friendships, deals, offers, and winning lotto tickets, there are out there just waiting to be discovered. Imagine that there's a website out there with EXACTLY the information that you need to truly be happy...if only you could find the right combination of letters, numbers, dots, and slashes, to get you there. Magic is about spreading what you already know about yourself, and exploring what you don't know about yourself, in order to find the answers you're looking for. Once you learn how to look in the right places, it'll get a lot easier. Believe me."

"So you're basically telling me to look for something that, as far as I know, doesn't even exist." I said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Yep. That's exactly what I'm doing."

"But that doesn't prove anything."

"Your faith in its existence IS the proof. And that proof will, in turn, increase your faith. It's as simple as that." He laid back on the bed, smiling at the fact that he stumped me, yet again. "There's more to life than what you see on a day to day basis, Gavin. Look deeper. There's a deeper meaning in everything."

"Riiiiight..." I said, and shoved my homework in my backpack, standing up so I could go to school. "Wax on, wax off, and all that jazz. Are you walking with me, or what? I don't wanna be late."

"Don't forget to turn off your computer." He said. I walked over to turn it off and he stood next to me with a smirk. "You're a big fan of Gilligan's Island, right?"

"Don't tease me, ok? It was a VERY popular show! I'll have you know that there are entire fan clubs dedicated to..."

"Stop, stop...you're defending yourself against something I didn't even suggest. Simple question, simple answer. Don't over think everything. You're a fan, right?"

"Yes. I'm a fan, so what?"

"Can you tell me what the show was really about?"

"What do you mean? It's pretty straightforward."

"Is it?" He smiled.

"Yeah. People went out on a boat, three hour tour, a storm landed them on an uncharted island, and they're stuck there. Every episode they try to get home, but they can't."

"Why?" He asked me.

"Why?" I was puzzled. "Because it wouldn't be much of a show if they actually got home, now would it?"

Gideon smiled at me without an answer, and then headed towards the door. "Shall we go?"

"Go? Was that it? What about Gilligan's Island?"

"I'll meet you outside." He left the room, and used that same cocky stride to walk right out of the front door. Why do I always feel like I'm missing something when it comes to him?

I made sure I had all of my books and stuff with me, and then zipped up my bag to meet Gideon outside. I kept thinking in circles about what he meant about Gilligan's Island, and I came to the conclusion that he was just pulling my leg. What's so deep about people on an island anyway? I just like the show. He just likes making fun of me, I think. When I saw him, he was leaning against a tree with his thumbs in his pockets, waiting for me. You know...looking at him, he really was beautiful. Exceptionally beautiful. What does he know about being 'less than attractive'? Anybody would all to their knees and thank God that someone like him would even look twice in their direction. How can I expect him to know what it's like for me...living alone like this, with only my wet dreams and my stupid drawings to keep me company? It's not like I was infatuated with him or anything, but...something about him made me envy him and admire him at the same time. Even when I hated his guts for being so much better than me...I knew that Gideon was the boy that I always wished I could be.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." We started walking, and he didn't say much at first. It was like he was always waiting for me to speak first, just to hear what was on my mind. "Aren't we supposed to be...um...'doing' something right now?"

"What would you like to do?"

"I dunno...talk? Maybe learn some magic or something?" Hello? He WAS supposed to be helping me learn stuff afterall.

"Hehehe, you're not ready for that just yet. It would be like giving a loaded handgun to a monkey." He giggled.

"Gee, thanks."

"You haven't opened your eyes yet, Gavin. If you can't see, then you can't believe. And magic doesn't work if you don't believe."

Arrgh! "Well, how the hell am I supposed to believe, then?"

"It certainly isn't by getting upset with me, cutie pie." He snapped back. I rolled my eyes and looked away from him. "You're still living on the surface. Absorb what's going on around you. Take it in. Enjoy it, sense it, examine it. The warmth of this beautiful sunshine, the feel of the wind blowing gently across your arm, the sounds of birds in the distance. What is the deeper meaning of it all, and how can you better come to appreciate it on an entirely different level? With new eyes, and a new perspective? Imagine how long these things have gone on without you paying any attention to them. Learn to walk the path between the lines, Gavin."

"How am I supposed to appreciate birds and sunshine on another level? I see this shit everyday."

"It doesn't make it any less important. Tap into it. Open your eyes."

"Are we gonna do this all day? Because I'm really not in the mood for a bunch of psycho 'hippie-talk' today, alright?" I grunted at him, and he stopped me from walking to look him in the eye.

"Gilligan's Island is one of your favorite shows. What is it about?"

"Here we go with THIS again. I TOLD you what it was about..."

"That was what was on the surface, Gavin. What is the deeper meaning?"

"I don't know. Ok? I don't know. You happy now?" I said with a frustrated huff.

"Do you want to know?"

"This should be good." I sneered. Gideon looked at me with an eyebrow raised, waiting for me to ask. "SIGHHH....fine! Can you please tell me the deeper meaning behind Gilligan's Island?"

His smile widened again. "Gilligan's Island is based on the seven deadly sins."

"Ha! Ok...you've completely lost it, dude! Thanks for the giggles though." I moved around him to keep walking to school before I ended up being late.

But he called out from behind me. "There were seven passengers aboard the ship. Seven. Each one representing a different deadly sin." I slowed down a bit, and turned around to look at him standing behind me. "The overweight Skipper was gluttony, the lazy Gilligan represented sloth, the overconfident Professor was pride, Ginger the sexy movie star was lust, the fiesty Mary Ann was envy, the luxurious and pampered Mrs. Howe was greed, and the angry Mr. Howe was wrath. God created the storm to trap them on the island, and asks that they only leave their sins behind in order to get home. But they never do. Every episode, Gilligan falls asleep and lets the fire go out, or Mrs. Howe sinks the raft with excess luggage...Ginger falls in love with a native, whatever. Their own sins hold them hostage, and until they battle their demons, they can never return to the world. So is the tale of Gilligan's Island." He said. I stood there and watched him for a second, my brow wrinkled up.

Then, after a moment of silence, I giggled. "Hehehe, you know, I have to admit, that's a pretty deep philosophy for this early in the morning before school. Completely crazy and fucked up....but deep. If nothing else I can definitely say that you're entertaining, Gideon."

"Wait until you hear me break down the highly politcal representations in Alice In Wonderland. You'll flip." He walked closer to me, and touched his finger to my right temple. "What you enjoy on the surface is not all there is, Gavin. What you see as mundane and repetitive has value. It has life. It has meaning. More importantly, it has magic. Teaching yourself to recognize and appreciate the little things is the first step to finding your focus. The better you know yourself and the power around you, the stronger you'll become."

"I just...I don't know if I can..."

"Unfortunately, doubt comes easy. Belief is harder to achieve. But I'm going to show you how, Gavin...if you trust me. I'm going to open up a whole new world to you. And when you're ready, there won't be any question as to whether or not you can be happy." He said softly. "Or 'gay'...however you want to phrase it." He giggled, and I slugged him in the shoulder.

"Hehehe, fuck you!"

"Sorry. I'm straight. But keep it hard, babycakes. We're gonna find you somebody sexy to take care of that." He said, and with a demonic smile, he through an arm over my shoulder and we began our journey towards the high school again. And hopefully...towards a new beginning.

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Part 2

As Gideon and I took the long walk through middle class suburbia, I found myself actually feeling good. And I don't mean 'satisfied'...like a 'well, at least I haven't been bitten by a rabid dog' type of thing. I mean that I actually felt good. Better than normal. Maybe it was the sunshine, maybe it was the walk, maybe I was just loopy from having so little sleep the night before. Whatever it was, it just....it made me shine from the inside, you know? I can't remember the last time I felt like that. I can't remember the last time I had someone to share it with either.

Gideon's company was a fun addition to my day. He was wildly funny, witty, and he was honest to a point of nearly pissing you off at times. But he'd get you to smile and admit to your own faults before you had the opportunity to get your feelings hurt. He wasn't a mean person, not really. But he never sugar coated a single word that came out of his mouth, and while you had to duck a few sharp insults to your pride every now and then...it was a somewhat admirable trait. He was just so free with...well...everything. I wonder if maybe this magic thing could ever bring me to that level of freedom too. Because sometimes...Gideon makes me feel like I can do anything.

"Here's what I want you to do today, Gavin. I want you to walk into school today, and say hello to every single person you make eye contact with today." Anything except that.

"Wait....what?" I asked.

"You heard me. I wanna kick start this thing today and set events in motion. It sometimes takes a week or two, but I think if we start today..."

I stopped him. "What are you talking about? I'm not gonna do that. I'll look like a total dork."

"Why?" He asked, his pace picking up a little bit, racing us to school even faster.

"What do you mean, why? I don't KNOW any of those people!"

"Yes, I'm aware of that. And that's the problem. We need to develop your people skills. That starts by getting rid of the whole 'I'm too shy to talk to anybody' routine."

"I happen to LIKE my shy routine, thank you very much. It keeps me from looking stupid in front of a bunch of strangers."

"It keeps you from interacting. Nothing more." He told me, and I tried to get him to slow down a bit as I could see the high school coming closer, now only two or three blocks away.

"Gideon....wait, dude..."

"Wait for what? Grow some balls, man. They're not gonna eat you alive, you know?" He said with a smirk. "Listen, you asked to be popular. That means actually talking to people instead of hiding out in a corner and hoping that they'll come talk to you first."

"That's not part of the deal. I thought you were gonna use magic? Can't you just...wave your magic wand around or something and make them like me?"

"Hehehe, and you think MY ideas are weird?" He giggled. "The only 'magic wand' I've got to wave around might be good for getting a few dates with high school cheerleaders, but I doubt it's gonna make you any more popular."

"Well...then how is this supposed to help me?"

"I told you, you've got to find your own path and follow it. Magic isn't just some effortless wave of the hand that makes everything all better. You've got to grow into it. You've got to grow into yourself. Now, are we gonna walk the rest of the way to school, or would you rather be late?"

"You are so full of shit." I pouted, and started walking again.

"Hey, hey...come on now, champ. If you're gonna start bailing out on me now, you'll never be ready for the big game." He said, but I didn't answer him. I thought he was gonna make things right. That's what he told me. If I ask for it, he'll make it happen. I'm a fucking idiot for even getting my hopes up. I should have left my life the way it was. "Come here. Gavin, stop. Come here." He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around, but I kept my eyes on the ground. "You're really that scared of talking to people, aren't you? Jesus, kid...exactly how did you expect to live the rest of your life without ever meeting new people?"

"You shouldn't have lied to me, Gideon..."

"Whoah! Wait a minute! Who lied to you? Certainly not me. I told you that an honest effort would get you an honest result. I never promised you a free ride on my magic carpet while I give you everything you wanted on a silver platter. That won't happen." He told me. "Look at me, Gavin." I rolled my eyes, not trying to connect fully with his stare. "What I'm teaching you here has value. And it's going to matter later on. You got me. This is a part of your training. Are you gonna make a go of this, or are you gonna stop now and try again when you're 45 years old and still don't have any friends?"

"It's just....dude, I can't just..."

"Shhhh shh shh! Stop. You're gonna use up twice the energy it takes to talk to these kids making excuses for why you can't." He literally put his finger to my lips, and smiled. "Look...you walk into the school, the hallway is full of, like, a billion teenagers. You walk to your first period class with your eyes open, and your chin lifted off of your chest. If you make eye contact with someone, even by accident, you acknowledge them, and you say hello. That's it. Nothing else. You don't even have to stop walking. Then you make eye contact with someone else, repeat the process. And that's it."

I grumbled under my breath for a moment, but he wasn't going to let this go. I know he wasn't. "And all I have to say is 'hello'?"

"All you have to say is hello."

"And that's IT?"

"That's it." He told me. "Of course, you could suddenly blurt out that you were gay. But I'm assuming that that's a bit much for your first time out."

"Yeah, I'm thinking it is." I replied sarcastically.

"Sure. But if you get the urge, I say let it fly." He grinned, and then we started walking towards the school again. I was literally beginning to tremble at the thought of it. I didn't wanna walk through the school saying hello to everybody. What kinda weirdness is that? That's not gonna make me popular, that's gonna send me on a one way trip to the freakshow category in this place.

We were getting closer, and I could see kids filing into the front doors of the building. God, there were sooo many of them. I didn't like this. My palms were sweating, my breath getting heavy...I don't know what to say to these people. What if they laugh at me? What then? I'm gonna look like such a jackass! "Can we...postpone this little lesson for a day or two? Maybe when I'm a little bit more prepared for something like this?"

"What's going to happen in a day or two that's gonna make this any easier for you?"

"I don't know...maybe the fact that I'll have more than a ten minute warning?"

"Ahhh, but spontanaeity is the spice of life, is it not? Besides, what have you got to worry about?" He asked boldly.

"Gee, I don't know. Possibly the fact that the whole school will be calling me a misfit by the end of the day."

"At least they'll be talking about you. Your popularity will soar through the roof."

"Or fall through the floor."

"See? You've got a sense of humor. They're gonna love that about you." Gideon just kept walking forward, and the school was right across the street now. This is bad! This is a mistake! I should just tell him no. I can say no, can't I? I mean...Gideon can't MAKE me do it! Right? Um....right? "Consider this an excercise. Social interactions are like a muscle. You start off a bit nervous and a little shy..."

"A LOT shy!"

"...Fine...a LOT shy, then. But as you work on it and practice and excercise your social skills, they grow stronger over time. Soon, you'll be talking to people in no time. This is where popularity begins."

"But...I don't see how embarrassing myself in front of everybody is gonna make that happen." I told him, hoping that traffic would keep racing by so we wouldn't have to cross the street just yet.

"You won't embarrass yourself. Look at you, you're making them all sound like an army of hungry jackals."

"It's high school, dude...an army of hungry jackals isn't necessarily a harsh judgement of the people inside when it comes to people like me."

Gideon wrinkled up his brow, as though my view of the situation was just plain ridiculous. "Ok, your first mistake is believing for one second that you're beneath a single one of the people in this building. Teachers included. You've gotta stop putting yourself beneath their supposedly superior status and start out on a level battlefield." There was a break in traffic, and Gideon took me by the arm, practically dragging me to the other side of the street. "Everybody gets nervous, Gavin. Everybody has problems and secrets and insecurities just like you do. None of them want to look stupid in front of a bunch of strangers either. And you can use that to your advantage."

"My advantage? How?"

"Because by simply saying hello with a smile, you'll be opening up a gateway of communication. You elevate them to your level, and you acknowledge their value as someone worthy of speaking to. Do it enough times, and they'll soon find comfort in coming to you first." He said, but I wasn't buying it. And I was shaking even worse as he took me to the front door. "Trust me, baby, it'll work. Now get to work before the hall empties out. Move it, soldier!" And with that....he shoved me inside.

My eyes immediately gravitated to the tiles on the floor beneath my feet, and in a subtle panic, I attempted to swiftly hurry my way through the crowd as fast as possible. But Gideon wasn't having any of that. Instead, he put a hand on my shoulder and slowed me down to a snail's pace. "Eyes up, back straight, princess." He grinned. I took a deep breath, and instantly felt the whole world collapse in on me as I saw how many teenagers were between me and my next class. "Go on. Do it. After the first fifteen hundred, it'll be a breeze." He teased.

"I am really gonna make you pay for this! You know that, right?" I said through gritted teeth, faking a smile.

"Ohh, you're gonna have to learn some pretty nifty tricks to pull that off. You just concentrate on getting from point A to point B without letting that head of your drop again." He told me, his hand in the small of my back, pushing me forward. "Now...just make eye contact...nod...and say hello. Simple. Try it out."

"This is so stupid..."

"TRY it!" He said, poking me in the back. "Here...right here." He pointed to a girl heading in our direction. Sighhhh...why am I doing this???

I took a deep breath, briefly glanced at her eyes, and mumbled, "Hi..." My voice was barely audible, and I couldn't look a her for more than a second. But I said it. She looked back at first, but didn't answer. In fact, she looked at me the exact same way I figured she would. As if to ask why this random asshole was even speaking in her direction. I turned to Gideon, "I TOLD you this was stupid!"

"It helps if you try to fake a little bit of confidence, ya know? Just for the half second that it takes to say hello. Maybe even raise your voice so she could hear you."

"Well...I didn't....I wasn't ready."

"Not ready? Gavin, you're just saying hello, not planning to snatch her purse. Come on, humor me a bit. Try it again."

There were two boys walking past me, already in the middle of a conversation with one another and giggling to themselves. As they walked past us, they looked up to see me staring at them. "Hey...hi..." I said, a little bit louder.

"What's up?" The first boy said with a smile, and they kept walking. Well...I guess that's better than the first girl.

"Good. Now...do it again." Gideon instructed me, moving me slowly through the hallway.

Another young girl walked by, and I said, "Hello..."

And she smiled at me and said, "Hey..." Okay...that's two.

"Again." Gideon said.

"Hey..." Wow...whoever that boy is, he was HOT! It wasn't too hard to work up a smile while saying it to him.

"How's it going?" He said, and rushed past me to his next class. That's THREE!

"Again." Gideon was smiling wide, but kept calm as he walked me through my 'excercise'. And we made it down the hallway, with me speaking to everyone I came into contact with.

"Hi...Hello...Hey...What's up...Hello..." I chirped, navigating my way through the crowded corridor. Some students returned the greeting, some ignored it completely, and a few wondered who the hell I was. But Gideon kept me going, walking right beside me, step for step. Encouraging me the whole way. I was still nervous and shaking, but I was surprised to find that nobody really rolled their eyes at me, or just flat out rejected me altogether. In fact, as I kept walking, even the people who didn't respond verbally at least gave me a little smirk or something. It got to be a little bit easie once I got past the fear of being ridiculed for being...well...friendly.

By the time I had gotten to my first class, I must have dealt out 75 greetings or more. Which is...umm...75 more than I usually give out on the way to my first class. I stood outside the classroom with Gideon, quaking inside, but smiling nonetheless. Naturally, he took the opportunity to laugh at me. "Hehehe, are you smiling, Gavin? Is that a smile I see on your face? Oh PLEASE, Gavin! PLEASE don't smile! I couldn't bear it if you smiled and gave me the fucked up idea that I might be right about something!"

"Shut up." I grinned. "Besides, that doesn't prove anything."

"It proves that all of those 'mean old people' aren't as scary as you thought they were. Jackals, you called them! That's hardly fair."

"It doesn't make me popular just to say hello to a bunch of people. All of those people are gonna go to class and they're gonna forget all about me ten minutes from now."

"Yes. Yes, they will. And that's exactly why you're gonna do it again after this class. And after the next one, and the next one, and every class break afterwards, for the rest of the week. Possibly some of next week too."

"Ok, now you're just getting crazy." I said.

He playfully pnched me in the gut with a smile. "Hey, don't be so afraid to pop out of the background every now and then. Be noticed. It's a good thing."

"Right." I looked towards my room, and the bell rang for us to get to class. "I guess I've gotta go. Is there...like, anything else I need to do?"

"Nope! Not for now. You gave them a taste on the tip of their tongues. And right now, while they're trying to figure out why you were being so friendly to them, or deemed them special enough to greet on your way to your first class...you get to relax. Then, when the bell rings, you get to do it all over again, and hit the people you missed this morning. Do this for two weeks, and soon they'll be coming to you."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Sure? No. Let's just say that I'm 'highly confident'." Gideon giggled. "You just gave an entire high school wing reason to wonder exactly who you are and what your deal is. That tiny bit of mystery is about to make you very interesting indeed. Consider it an effective form of jackal bait." He started to walk away from me, but before letting me go, he turned me around and unzipped my backpack, reaching his hand in to dig around.

"What are you looking for?"

"The dragon drawing. You brought it with you, right?" He asked.

"Um...yeah. Why?"

"Let me grab it from you. Just for a little while." He said, and I gave him a suspicious look. "I'll give it back! I swear."

I reached into my notebook and handed him the picture. "Be careful with this, ok? I worked REALLY hard on this."

"I know you did, and it's fabulous! Thanks!" He took it and started to trot off down the hall with it.

I called out after him, "Don't show it to anybody, ok?"

He turned around with a grin. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna show it to anybody...directly."

"What does that mean?" He didn't answer, just giggled and jogged off with it. "Gideon! Just...you better not....UGH!" And I backed up to go into the classroom when I turned and saw Joshua Roth walking in at the same time. He had his head down, looking at his books as if he were trying to get a few extra seconds of studying in before going inside. My entire world froze, and my stomach turned upside down as I had no way to brace myself for his sudden appearance in my line of vision. My insides became this hysterical turmoil of emotions, and I awkwardly rocked from one foot to the other as he stopped right in front of me. He looked up at me, his hair sliding back a bit to expose those magnificent eyes to me in all their glory. Omigod...he's gorgeous! I am seriously turning into a ball of wiggles here! "Uhhh.........hey.." I said softly.

"Hi, Gavin." He replied, and then he went inside, and left me sitting there...stunned. Stunned and amazed. I just...I just spoke to Joshua Roth! Like...almost a complete sentence! And he said 'hi' to me. I know it was to me, because he said my name. I never knew how awesome my name was until the moment he let it glide through those perfect lips of his. Oh wow...my whole body is getting chills right now. Does this speaking thing really work? Oh man...what if Gideon makes it possible for me and Josh to be together? What if I get to actually KISS him someday??? What if...

"Gavin? Class is starting." My teacher leaned his head out to see me standing in the hallway daydreaming about the possibilities. So I went inside to take my seat, but I couldn't stop smiling. Not at all. I must have looked like a freak, but whatever. Joshua Roth spoke to me! He called me by name! Has he ever done that before? Arrgh, I'm too excited to remember! Ok, I've gotta calm down. Breathe, Gavin. We'll work out the details later. But for now...we need to breathe. Just....breathe.

I took my seat in the classroom, and for the first time I almost regretted choosing one so far away from him. There's just something so incredibly unreal about having the boy of your dreams speak to you that excites you into a fit of infatuation so severe that you can't help but giggle to yourself and swing your feet under your desk like a 4 year old with a sugar rush. I saw his sandy blond locks sway gently with every turn of his head. So silky and sweet. I swear that it was moving in slow motion sometimes. And it looked more blond sometimes, and more brown others, depending on how the light hit it. And those lips. A poet could spend his entire career trying to capture the beauty of those lips.

Just then, Josh looked up at me briefly, and it was too quick for me to turn away in time. Just a flash of those big blue eyes was enough to reduce you to jelly inside, and I found myself squirming a bit in my seat as the blissful feelings got to be too strong for me to keep still. When I got the guts to look back over there again, he wasn't looking back. So I guess it was just a random glance around the room that got him to catch me staring. But...as much as I tried to prevent myself from doing it, I continually looked over at him every few seconds for the rest of the class period. Keeping updates on his every graceful movement, and mentally recording it to replay again and again for every minute that he was away from me. Sure...there was still a part of me that felt so microscopic just being in the same room with someone so majestic. That doesn't go away overnight, and my mind was constantly telling me that I wasn't worth spitting on as far as he was concerned. And yet, in the same moment, something about him made me feel better than ever. In a completely selfless way. All he had to do was maintain his existence in this world, and I was walking on air. There's something so comforting about being able to find the one person on Earth who can make you feel that way. Who can make time stand still, and cure every illness you've ever had. Someone who forces you to realize how lonley and pointless your life really was before he stepped in and made everything beautiful again. God...just looking at him from across the room is all the magic I'd ever need.

At that moment, he looked up again, and I think I was able to effectively dodge his gaze this time. I think. I hope he doesn't see me staring. Arrrgh! Idiot! Quit being weird! I tried to pay attention in class, but I think I learned more just trying to battle my emotions as Joshua and I played this silly game of 'eye tag' for the rest of the period. He's gotta think I'm some kinda psycho by now. I hope I didn't go too far overboard this time. He spoke my name, he said hello...I should be happy with that for now. Yeah....happy.

When the bell rang and class was over, I desperately wanted to speak to him again. I mean, I was feeling the butterflies in my stomach going wild, and I could hardly walk straight from being so weak in the knees. But I paced myself while I was putting my books and materials back into my backpack, timing it so I'd go towards he door at the same time as Josh. And when I saw him zip up his bag and stand up, I knew this was it. I got up from my desk, and tried to breathe, even though it felt like my lungs had suddenly been frozen into two heavy blocks of ice. I caught up to him at the door, but he kept walking out into the hallway. He walks fast. His legs are longer than me. I thought that I might miss him, but in a last ditch effort...I actually found the courage to speak. "Bye, Josh..." I had to fight hard to keep from whimpering. I had to fight to keep from fainting on the floor when he turned around in response. Those eyes must cause instant paralysis in everything they land on.

He looked at me for a moment, and I did my best to keep eye contact, even with his ocean blue orbs dissolving a hole in my confidence. Answer me, Joshua Roth....please answer me. Hurry up! I can't take much more of this agony! Then, I saw those sweet kissable lips part, and he said, in his soft angelic voice, "I'll see you later, Gavin." Thank God! I was starting to blush really hard, and I was afraid I'd have to run off if he waited another second to say something. Josh walked away from me, but after a couple of steps, I saw him look back at me again...and he smiled a little. He smiled at me! It was short, and kinda bashful, but it was definitely a smile! It was probably because I looked like a complete moron trying so hard to get his attention for something as simple as saying goodbye. But whatever! It was CUTE! And it was mine! I sighed out loud with a grin, and leaned back against the lockers, staring off into space. That's twice in one day he spoke to me. Not once...TWICE! Wow, I hope this feeling lasts forever.

"You wanna move away from my locker, geek?" Came a voice from in front of me, and I looked to see an angry blond boy and two of his friends grimacing at me. I was leaning on his locker, and had to shuffle aside to let him by. He sneered at me, and all three of them looked at me like I was a loose piece of trash on the floor. So I hoisted my backpack up on my shoulders and started walking away, hearing some mean spirited giggles from behind me. But even though they were being jerks, Joshua Roth, the most gorgeous boy ever created, spoke to me twice in the same day. And nothing they could do would ever take that away from me. It felt damn good!

"Hey...Hello...Hi...What's up?" I continued as I went to my next class. With more of the same results. But my mind was too wrapped up in other things to really take count this time. After a while, it kinda became a strange routine, talking to random strangers in the hallway. And I was never really around them for long enough to make fun. By the time they heard me, I had already passed them by. If nothing else, it at least made them take notice of me. I have to admit, it was a change from the everyday. As always, Gideon gave me a glimpse of something I never had before, and it turned out to be....kinda cool.

After four classes of spacing out over my brief 'less than intimate' run in with Josh, and greeting people in the hallway like I was running for mayor, I had finally reached lunch time. I went back to my locker, grabbing my sack lunch and thinking of nice quiet places to eat around the campus. But when I closed the locker door, Gideon was standing right there waiting for me. "How goes the struggle, my friend?"

"Jesus, do you ever just make a normal appearance in stead of trying to scare me shitlees all the time?"

"I tend to favor entrances with a more theatrical flare." He grinned. "SO...I can see that you've been taking my advice."

"Exactly how can you see that?"

"It's in your aura. Twinkles and all. You've been making some changes, and it shows." Then he leaned forward to whisper, "You talked to him, didn't you? The boy in the picture?"

I blushed a bit, but admitted it. "Yeah. Maybe a little. Nothing major, though."

"This is your life, Gavin. Everything is major. Come on, we're going out for lunch."

"We?"

"Yes, we. Hurry up and get moving before you make me think you don't appreciate my company."

I closed and locked my locker, carrying my lunch with me. And just as we were walking towards the door, the two cute boys that I had seen earlier that morning before first period walked around the corner. The were passing us, and both gave me a bit of a grin. "Sup, man?" They both said. Were they talking to me? To Gideon? To somebody else enirely? At first I thought it was a mistake, but as I turned to watch them walk away from us down the hall, still playfully locked in their own conversation...it hit me. Two complete strangers, cute ones at that, just said hello to me for no reason at all. None.

I looked over at Gideon who grinned and threw his hands up. "Don't look at me! I swear, I didn't wave my 'wand' at at them. You did that all on your own, stud boy."

"Hehehe, let's just go." I told him.

"You wanna fuck them don't you?"

"Ack!!! Geez! Keep your voice down!" I said with a jump.

Then he whispered, "You wanna fuck them don't you?"

"Can we just leave please? Pervert."

"I know you wanna fuck 'em. They're cute. I'm straight and I wanna fuck 'em. The one on the right has got one hell of a nice ass too. A girl's ass...."

"STOP! Hehehe!"

"Making you hard? I know it is. It's ok. Once you get your wings, I'll show you how you can fuck 'em." He teased as I gave him a harsh look to shut him up before somebody hears us. "Aww, you're blushing! That's so cute!" He pinched my cheek and gave me a brotherly shove as he led me out the side door and back out into daylight.

We walked out to the school's football field where we could sit under the bleachers and have some privacy. I opened up my lunch and started chowing down a bit, while Gideon had only brought with him a single can of soda and some chewing gum. We leaned up against the network of metal rafters holding the bleachers together, and Gideon stared at me with a smile. "What are you grinning at?" I asked him.

"You don't have to be afraid, you know?"

"Afraid of what?"

"Being happy." He said. "There's nothing silly or embarrassing about it. Enjoy it. Laugh, dance, scream it out to the world if you want to. But wallow in it. Wallow in every second of happiness you get in this life. It's a beautiful thing. And a lot of people bottle it up for the sake of looking childish. Don't you become one of them."

"I'm fine. I'm happy. See?" I gave him the biggest, fakest, cheesiest, smile that I could, and then went back to eating my sandwich.

"You can be extremely entertaining, you know that?"

"I could be a lot more entertaining if you actually taught me some magic instead of making me a social misfit." I said, wiping some mayonaisse from the corner of my mouth.

Gideon was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "You wanna learn something?" I looked up at him, and he gave me a sly grin. "Here, hold your hand out." Excited, I put my sandwich down and eagerly put my hand out. "Palm up." I turned my hand palm up. And then...he spit his gum in my hand! A big juicy wad of gum dripping with Gideon spit.

"Eww, what the hell???" I jerked my hand back and tossed the gum into the grass far away from us, wiping my hand off on my pants leg. "What the hell kinda magic was that???"

"Hehehe! Who said anything about magic? I said put your hand out, and you did. Sucker." He laughed. "You wanted to learn something? Well you just learned not to ever trust me when I say 'put your hand out'. You feel much wiser for the lesson, now, don't ya?"

"Har dee har, funny man. You know, you could at least renew my faith with a couple of dazzling feats every now and then. It wouldn't hurt you to keep my interest."

"Hehehe, Gavin, despite what you see in the movies and on tv, magic isn't just about clouds of smoke and lightning bolts. It's so much more than that. I mean, there are the parlor tricks and the fancy effects too, but a true magician doesn't have to show off with gimmicks and flashing lights. A true magician is more content with what he 'can' do other than what he actually does."

"As usually, you're going right over my head, dude."

"Only because you keep ducking." He said, and took another sip of his soda.

"So....you said you didn't have a magic wand or anything, right?"

"Never had one, never will."

"So...what do you use? A crystal ball?"

"Nope."

"Wizard's staff?"

"Nope."

"Charmed necklace?"

"Nope."

"Well what, then?" I asked.

"I use my head. Nothing else is required."

"Come on, get outta here. You've gotta use something."

"More cinematic hoopla, I'm afraid." He told me. Then he scooted closer to sit next to me. "You see, magic is all about the mind. It's all about faith and belief and the way you use them to tap into something extraordinary. It's really not all that different from any other religion, when you think about it." Gideon poured some of his soda on the ground, and then used his finger to draw a circle in the dirt. "Now...suppose this ritual of me pouring this soda on the ground, and drawing a circle with this finger, was the required spell for making myself invisible. I'd have to make sure that this particular process brings about this particular effect. You follow me?"

"Um..so far..."

"Ok, well, the actual 'process' of pouring out the soda and drawing the circle isn't where the magic comes from. It's merely a focus. A ritual that gets me to identify invisibility with this particular ritual. So I teach myself to believe that I'll become invisible every single time I make this motion. And voila!" Suddenly, before my eyes, Gideon litterally faded away into nothingness. I jumped back for a second, my eyes wide open, looking at the nothingness befor me, and I slowly reached my hand out to see if he was still actually there. Just as I got close to where he was, he grabbed my hand and reappeared right in front of me again! "Gotchya!"

"Omigod..."

"No applause, please. You're too kind." He smiled. "Now, how did I do that? I did it by focusing my thoughts and making it happen, nothing more. Do I need the soda and the circle? No, not really. But if I want to really concentrate on this specific spell, I know that I can do this ritual, and it'll bring my mindstate to the exact place where I need it to be to make it happen."

"So...you're saying...?"

"All of the chants, the talisman charms, the crystal balls, the magic potions...they don't really have any real effect on magic itself. It merely has an affect on the beliefs of the one performing the magic. If you train yourself to believe that throwing salt over your shoulder will bring you good luck, then it's not the salt, but the faith in its abilities that cause it to happen. Four leaf clovers, knocking on wood, crucifixes against the town vampire, rain dances, demonic symbols, all of these objects and rituals were created to signify certain states of mind to create certain types of magic without getting confused. So if you tell yourself that bat wings will cause someone to die, and wormswood will cause someone to suffer, and lizard guts bring illness, then you have three separate spells to chose from when you need them. And if course, if you want someone to get sick and die a slow painful death...then you mix all three of them in a giant pot, and your mind stays focused on what it needs to do with each separate vibration." He said.

"So none of that stuff is real?"

"It's real enough, just not as important as the faith behind it. If I had told you that chewing that gum I just spit out into your hand would get those two cute boys from the hallway to sleep with you, you would have chewed it, right?"

I frowned up my face a little. "I guess so..."

"Of course you would have. And if you believed in it strongly enough, and the magic inside you made it happen, then your faith would be justified. And you'd be asking me to spit gum in your hand everytime you saw a nice piece of ass walk by. That's your ritual, the gum is your magic wand, and your belief is what makes the spell happen. It's just a matter of association, nothing more."

"I can just make up stuff to represent what I want to happen?"

"Sure, if you want to. Every time you attach a certain skill with a certain object, chant, dance, or whatever...you give it a definitive place and power. It's the same as you filing those little gay exploits of yours on the computer into places where only you'll be able to find them. You know which folders to go to, and which files open the websites, stories, or pornographic pics and videos, that you want to see. You classify your own spells as you go along." He told me. "Just don't go making the sacrifice of any virgins a part of the plan, ok? You don't want to have to go doing THAT everytime you wanna use a spell to bring sunshine instead of rain."

"I imagine that would be difficult." I said dryly.

"You'd be surprised how many civilizations got that wrong." He grinned, and then stood up to dust himself off. "You ready to go back?"

"Yeah." I chugged down a drink and finished what was left of my sandwich and got up to join him. "Do I need to use that other stuff? The symbols and everything?"

"You will at first. Until you get to a level where you can simply use your thoughts to create the changes you need. But focus is the next part of your training. Don't get ahead of yourself."

"I just wanna....DO something, you know?"

"You are doing something, Gavin. You're building the foundations you need to keep from spinning out of control. Magic isn't anything to play around with. And whatever bad vibes you put out there, even by accident, are gonna come right back to hit you where and when it hurts most. There can be severe consequences for interfering with the natural order of things if you don't know what you're doing. So just keep concentrating on getting through this part right now. And I'll teach ya he jazzed up version later, ok?" I agreed, and we started walking back towards the school. "Before you can believe in anything else, you're gonna have to believe in yourself. Do you understand?"

"Sure thing, coach." I said, giving him a fake grin and a thumbs up.

"Gotta love that tricky sense of humor."

We made it back to the school and walked in through the side door. The halls were full as the bell had all the students scampering back and forth from one end of the building to the other. And as Gideon walked next to me, we tried to make our way past the cafetera. And that's when I saw it. Hanging up for everyone to see...in the hallway right in front of the cafeteria exit!!! "Oh...my...God...." I gasped.

"Marvelous, aint it?" Gideon smiled. And we both stood there, looking at my dragon picture thumbtacked to the wall in plain sight of EVERYBODY! With my NAME on it, no less! "Putting your name on it was my idea. I thought it could use that personal touch."

This...is one of those times that I needed a spell for a slow and painful death!