Extra Innings - 17. Chapter 16

The last few days of being at home were nice. Dad was able to get some time off for Christmas, so we were able to spend a lot of time together, and it was nice to catch up with him to see how he was doing. Without me around, Dad was feeling a little lonely, which was only natural, but not having me in the house also meant that he was able to save up a bit more and not have to stress out so much about the bills. Apparently my eating habits alone were costing a lot more than he thought they were, but then that makes sense considering how much I ate on campus. Athletes are expensive, and now he didn’t have to pay for all that food and the gas costs to get to my games, it was a lot easier for him to pay for his own stuff and save for whatever.

He seemed more relaxed, anyways. Dad was one of those people that I could never tell how he was doing. He was smiling more and wasn’t always reading bills, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was more relaxed. Having said that, he didn’t seem like he was worrying so much and we had a bigger Christmas dinner than we normally do. We actually had all the fixings with the Christmas ham this year. Hell, we had a ham this year! I couldn’t remember the last time Dad had enough money to go buy a ham.

Christmas was fun. I got some new batting gloves from Dad. The gloves were a perfect fit and were the white Easton gloves I’d been looking at the year before. I was a little annoyed with him since they were more than our twenty dollar limit for each other, and when I called him out on it he smiled at me and said a Dad has the right to overspend on his kids. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, and I did need some new batting gloves, so I was happy to get them once Dad said it wasn’t a big issue. He loved the belt and put it on for me right away. The rest of the day was spent watching some bad Christmas television and talking about what was going to be happening when I got back to school.

I tried to get some studying in for my classes, mostly by looking through the course outlines and trying to determine what kind of things we might be covering in the class. if it was something that I thought I could find online, I went looking for it, but for the most part it was an exercise in looking at the different course outlines online and trying to see what would become of them.

I had decided that I would only be taking three courses again this semester, and I was focusing a bit more on the sports studies courses this semester, now that I had gotten some of the core English courses finished. I thought that the beginning aerobic conditioning and the beginning speed and agility training courses would be good fits for me to stay in top shape for baseball. Also, because I was on the baseball team this year I was allowed to register for a course called intercollegiate baseball. It wasn’t a course, but it counted as a credit towards graduation, so I suppose that meant I was taking four courses this semester. For English I was taking an introduction to creative non-fiction. I thought it might help my essay writing skills after my Encounters and introduction to literature classes last semester.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot available yet for me to look at, only a book list that I couldn’t deal with because I wasn’t on campus to buy any of the books. All that meant was that there was going to be another mad dash through the bookstore to get everything I needed, and then probably spending the first day of class cramming to do as much reading as possible, assuming that I didn’t have another baseball practice to take even more of my time away from me.

When it was time for me to head back to Whitman, I never thought I'd be happy to be going back to school, but I was happy to be going back to school! Leaving Colfax didn’t feel as bad as it did in September or November, and I could tell that Walla Walla was starting to become home for me. Even though the roads were still covered in snow and campus was basically frozen solid when I got back, it was nice to be back in my dorm and to see Vincente shivering away while he waited for everything to defrost enough to get a good practice in for his tennis team.

I decided to go back a few days after New Year’s Day to give myself time to get used to campus and to see how things were going with a few of my friends that I’d made on campus. Besides, as much as I loved being home and with Dad, I think he was getting eager to get rid of me for the semester. I knew I’d see him later in the year anyways, there was always going to be some kind of semester break.

I packed up everything I needed and we got in the car, taking care to leave with lots of time to get back to campus before the residences closed down for the night. I didn’t want it to be too dark or cold when I got there and started hauling my stuff up, and I especially didn’t want Dad to be stuck driving home on icy roads at night. Thankfully, we got there early in the afternoon and it wasn’t too cold when I got out and started unloading things. I was wearing a Whitman hoodie and jeans, and I didn’t have too much trouble bringing all the winter clothes I’d want for the semester up to my room.

On the Wednesday before classes began, I went to the bookstore to pick up my books. As it turns out, there’s a lot of reading involved in introduction to creative non-fiction courses, and they all look technical and full of the sorts of things I wouldn’t enjoy reading about. At least there wasn’t much reading to do in the sports fitness classes, but there would be a lot more physical activity. I was beginning to figure out why there was a limit on the number of sports courses you could take that counted towards your degree, otherwise everyone would take the sports courses and not learn anything.

It was too bad, since the sports courses were what I was really looking forward to and hoped to have as a degree. However, it didn’t seem like Whitman offered a sports degree of any kind, so I’d have to stick with my English degree. I wasn’t sure how that was going to affect my ability to get into coaching or fitness training as a career, but it’s something I could definitely start discussing with admissions counselors once I got back into the swing of classes.

I was laying in my room, listening to music Friday morning when I heard my phone buzz. I had no idea who would be trying to contact me at this time of day. Most of the people I knew on campus hadn’t come back yet, so I felt a bit weird being the only one there, especially since I had come in early specifically to see them. Oh well, lesson learned for next year I suppose. It wasn’t like I was missing out on anything at home, and it was sorta cool to have the room to myself without Vincente. I guess he’d be coming back in the last weekend before classes started.

I checked my phone and was surprised to see Bryce’s name pop up, asking if I wanted to spend the day with him.

I was surprised, I thought that Bryce was still out of town. I quickly replied back.

‘You’re back already? Yeah, if you’re free I’d love to spend the day with you.’

I got a response back a few minutes later.

‘Awesome. How about in half an hour, I’ll come get you from your rez.’

‘Perfect. Sounds good Bryce.’

Wow. He wanted to spend the day with me. Cool. I guess things were getting serious and it wasn’t just a bunch of hot air from him about what he wanted from me. I wondered if it was always going to be like this, with him leading the way and me either saying yes or no to whatever he was suggesting. Maybe I should ask to spend more time with him, I mean away from baseball and school and everything else that we actually already do together.

Speaking of which, I was wondering when he was going to start teaching me everything I needed so that I could become a full member of the fraternity. Robert had been pretty clear that at the end of the pledging period, we’d have to prove we were up to the task of being Phi Delta Theta members.

I dressed myself in a hoodie and darker jeans that were fraying around the knee and feet. I liked the look of the Whitman hoodie. It hid my messy blond hair, which was starting to cover up my eyes.

Before I went down to go meet Bryce, I made sure to get my present for him. I had wrapped it at home, so everything was ready, now I had to give him the cap and see what he thought of it. I must have looked weird carrying a box wrapped in brown paper, but Dad didn’t want to spend on anything fancy that was only going to get ripped apart instead. I could get that, but it felt tacky to wrap something up in the brown paper. A reminder to me that we were still poor and I had to do well so I could get a good job and not live like this forever.

Bryce was waiting in the lobby area when I came down. He smiled and waved at me to come over to him. I kept the package behind me, so he didn’t see the surprise I had waiting for him.

Instead, he surprised me by wrapping his arms around me and hugging me in front of everyone. I had to hug him back too, so I know he felt the present digging into his back when I embraced him. We hugged for a few seconds before he untangled himself from me and rubbed his back.

“Jeez Devin, what are you hitting me with, an anvil? That hurt!” He said with a wink.

I handed him the gift and refused to look at him.

“Merry Christmas.” I muttered, looking down at my feet.

“Awww, Devin, that’s so nice of you! Let’s go back to my place so I can get you your gift, I’ll open this when we get there.” Bryce gushed at me, apparently very surprised and touched that I’d gotten him anything.

I was surprised to hear that he’d gotten me something as well. I didn’t realize he was that kind of person to get gifts, I thought he was more of a physical person who was more touchy-feely than a gift giving type of person. It made me happy to know he took the time to go and find me something, even though we hadn’t known each other for very long and the time we had spent was mostly for the things we had in common. We hadn’t had much of a chance to get to know each other and what the other likes and didn’t like. Maybe that was going to happen over the next few days and weeks, since I wanted to get to know him better instead of him being the guy that took me to bed first when I got to college. I hoped he felt the same way.

We walked back to the frat house, with Bryce holding my left hand and my gift the whole way there. I saw some of the people we walked by giving us some odd looks, and every time I saw someone who looked like they didn’t totally approve, my hand twitched in Bryce’s hand. Every time, Bryce would squeeze my hand a little and hold on, making sure I didn’t let go. It was exhilarating, but also terrifying because I was sure people were going to start talking about us, and I wasn’t sure how ready I was to be the object of people’s gossip and ridicule again.

When we got into Bryce’s room, he pulled me in close and gave me a hug, before he set down my package and rummaged through his school bag to find something for me. He pulled out a small package wrapped in traditional Christmas packaging. It looked small, so I was trying to figure out what it might be. I tore apart the wrapping and found a small paperback book. ‘The Mental ABC’s of Pitching’. I couldn’t figure out if this was saying something about lack of talent, or if Bryce thought this would actually be useful to making me that much better, but it was nice that he was thinking of me, and it made sense. It complimented my gift for him quite nicely as well, which was a relief and I was glad that he didn’t spend too much on me.

Bryce opened up my gift and gasped when he saw the Mariner’s cap inside. I wasn’t sure what the gasp meant until Bryce wrapped me up in another hug and kissed me.

“I love it, it’s perfect! Thanks so much babe.” He exclaimed, planting a couple extra kisses along my neck and causing me to shiver in pleasure.

Babe. He called me babe. Whoa, that’s new. I wonder what that was about. I was surprised, no one had ever called me babe before. I hadn’t even called Alex or any of my sorta-girlfriends babe before. It felt weird, and I must have given him a weird look because he looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

“Did I say something wrong Devin, I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay.” I quickly replied. “No one’s ever called me babe before, it caught me off guard, that’s all. I’m still new to all this dating stuff, remember?”

“Right… I forgot. I’ll try to remember that. Ready to get going? You can leave the book here and pick it up later, we’re going to be pretty busy today, I think.”

Sounds good to me. I couldn’t wait to see what Bryce had in store for the day. He hadn’t said anything, and to be honest I hadn’t asked because I was looking forward to being surprised by what he had planned. I could learn a bit about what kind of person he was by what he wanted to do with me when we had some spare time. That, and I sort of thought it’d be something quiet like coffee or maybe a trip into town for something that was there. I didn’t expect anything too big, especially since everything was frozen over.

I left my gift on the bed, though I was happy to see Bryce kept the hat on. We left the house and he guided me out, walking out through campus and back into the city itself. I was confused, but we continued on through town until we reached the Macy’s close to campus. I wasn’t sure why we had come here first, but I wasn’t going to say anything.

“There’s a fraternity event in a few weeks, Devin. You’re going to have to have something formal to wear… we don’t want another mishap like what happened at the last event where you didn’t have anything to wear.” He said with a laugh.

“What makes you think I don’t already have something to wear!” I asked, indignant at the idea that I didn’t have anything nice to wear.

“The fact that you didn’t have anything nice to wear tells me you don’t have anything nice to wear. Besides, who said it was only about finding you something to wear?” He smirked at me again.

I blushed hard and stammered out a reply.

“Flatterer. Let’s go, before you get any more ideas in that head of yours.”

When we got there, we both steered ourselves directly to the men’s fashion part of the store. I was surprised by how much was in this Macy’s, and the clothing collection they had available. Bryce immediately started loading me up with different pants and shirts to try on, adding more to my arms as we went through the store. I was trying to keep up with all these different clothes, and by the time we got to the change rooms I had at least five different complete outfits.

“There, that should be enough, I’m sure we can find something that works for you. This is going to be fun, isn’t it Devin?” Bryce said, looking me over with a hungry look in his eyes.

“Wait a minute, where’s your stuff? Aren’t you trying anything on too?”

“Oh god no, I’ve got a suit at the house.”

Bryce leaned in closer.

“If you’re good, I’ll show it to you later, and maybe you can help me take it off.”

I shuddered and groaned. I knew what Bryce was suggesting, and it was having an immediate effect. I was terrified of going in to change, knowing that I’d be walking out wearing dress pants with a bulge in the front.

Of course, that was probably the exact effect Bryce was looking for. Sighing resignedly to myself, I grabbed the clothing and locked myself into the stall to change. stripping down to my boxers, I enjoyed having a look at myself in the full-length mirror. Years of baseball had left a definite toned mark to my body, but being at school, eating like a college athlete and actually having the gym access I had was starting to leave a mark too. Muscles I’d never had before showed themselves, and it was a wonder that I hadn’t noticed them before.

The first one I tried on was this white suit, I saw it was from Sean John and din’t even want to think about the price of it. Putting my t-shirt back on, I wriggled into the suit and pants and had a look. It wasn’t a bad fit. I straightened the jacket and went outside to see what Bryce thought.

The first thing he did was start feeling all over my body and the suit. His hands were everywhere, and while he could pretend all he wanted that this was to figure out if the suit was a good fit, I couldn’t help but notice he spent more time in some places than others, and that his eyes weren’t wandering too far away from the crotch of my pants.

“No, these won’t do at all. White is not going to work for you.” He said. He then patted my ass and squeezed hard. “Besides, these aren’t a good fit for you anyway. I can tell. Go try on the other ones.”

We went through a few more suits before I got to the last one that Bryce had sent me into the booth with. Buying a suit could not possibly be this difficult normally, and I’m sure Bryce was beside himself laughing about how painful the experience was becoming for me. This suit was gorgeous; jet black, with equally dark pants. When I put them on, I gave the jacket a slight tug downward, and I prepared myself for the next series of pokes and gropes from Bryce.

What I was not expecting was for him to stare at me for a full thirty seconds before he very quietly spoke up.

“These. Get these. Now. And the shirt. We’re done. Time to go back to the house.”

I stepped backward to go change, but Bryce was already going into the stall.

“Forget about changing. They’ll ring you up as is, and I’ve got a shirt and tie that’ll match that for you right here. Let’s go already!”

Bryce all but dragged me to the cash register, my street clothes in one hand, the dress shirt and tie in the other and me trailing behind. I was surprised at how quickly he’d wanted to get home now, and what kind of effect my new clothes had on him. He was right though, the cashier pulled at the clothes long enough to scan them in, and I was even more surprised when Bryce put everything on his credit card.

Part of me was frightened by how Bryce was acting. This was way more intense than when Sean controlled what was happening to me, but this was different as well. Bryce wasn’t doing this to blackmail me into anything… I mean, I knew he wanted to tear my clothes off as soon as we got there, but he would stop if I wanted to… right? I wanted this.

So why was I getting a feeling in the pit of my stomach, and the hairs on the back of my neck were sticking up, covered in sweat in spite of the cold weather. Once everything was paid for, we walked back to the house as quickly as we dared. The sidewalks were icy, though thankfully there wasn’t much snow left and we only had to make sure we didn’t fall or slip on the way back. I’m pretty sure there would have been hell to pay if the pants got covered in snow, so there was that going for me that we didn’t have to deal with it on the way back.

As soon as we got back into Bryce’s room he closed and locked the door. I barely had time to step out of my shoes and take in the fact that he’d put the bags of clothes down before he pinned me against the door, grabbing at everything he could and kissing me deeply.

Everything was happening so fast. Too fast. I could feel my heart beating too fast. I was sweating, but this wasn’t the sweat you feel when a make out session feels good. I was breathing too quickly, too hard. Bryce’s hands were everywhere, pushing, pulling, squeezing. Probing deeper and further. Too fast for me.

Sean.

An image of him crashed through my mind. The way he would push me down. The way he controlled me and forced me.

I pushed back hard.

Bryce moved towards me. I saw Sean lunging at me. I pushed him back harder this time, hard enough for him to land on the bed. I stood, back to the wall, hands balled into fists. My breath was coming in sharp and fast. Shallow breaths that I could hear, hyperventilating. Images of Sean flashed through my mind and superimposed themselves on what was happening and I screamed my outrage and defiance.

“Devin, what the hell!?”

I could barely hear him. It wasn’t Sean’s voice, or Alex’s voice or Dad’s voice. I knew it was Bryce.

Strong hands were holding me, pinning my arms to my side. I was shaking, I couldn’t stop and the urge to run away was nearly overwhelming. I heard Bryce talking. Soothing. Calming, trying to reach past something he didn’t understand but had to deal with. He wrapped himself around me, soothing me. Stroking my hair and gently guiding me down to his bed, never letting go.

“Devin… what’s wrong? What’s going on?” He asked. Concerned, confused, I knew that I’d done something to scare him.

“Space! Bryce, I need space.” I gasped out.

He reluctantly left me on the bed and walked over to his chair, watching me as intently as I was watching him. Being left alone, I could feel my body reasserting control over itself and calming down. Once I was calm, I sat up and faced Bryce, who was looking at me like he was only seeing me for the first time now. Something had changed in our relationship, and I needed to explain it before everything fell apart.

“It wasn’t you, you know.” I said.

He didn’t say a word in response. All he did was look at me and wait for me to continue to explain myself.

“I mean, it was. But it wasn’t you I was fighting. I’m sorry… this is confusing. Can I try to explain it all? I really wasn’t meaning to attack you, Bryce.”

“I’m not going to enjoy this, am I?” He asked, crossing his arms and scrutinizing me.

I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts. I wasn’t even sure how I wanted to describe everything.

“Before you met me, you know I was dating a guy, right?” I asked, not sure what else to say.

He nodded.

“Alex wasn’t the first. Before anything else, Alex was my friend. He was there when I was exclusively heterosexual, and he watched what happened to make me more aware that I also had an attraction to males.”

I stood up and balled my fists again. Bryce stood up and got ready. I relaxed, but grasped his chair to keep my balance.

“Before Alex there was Sean. He… he blackmailed me. Said that he’d tell the whole baseball team I played for that I was gay if I didn’t suck his dick.”

Bryce looked shocked. Whatever else he thought I was going to say, he wasn’t expecting anything like this.

“It was only sucking, at first. But every time I tried to get out of it and find a way to live my life normally, he’d up the stakes and make it worse. Eventually, he forced me to his place where he took me. He was the only one home. He didn’t care about anything but his pleasure and proving to me how much he controlled me. He died that same night, on the way to either show someone the photos he took demeaning me, or on the way home.”

“Devin…”

“Don’t. He’s dead, and the rest of my year was spent being harassed as his murderer and his gay sex slave. I was attacked and hospitalized by his friends because they thought I killed him in revenge for everything.”

I walked back to Bryce’s bed and collapsed on it, enjoying the familiar feel of a campus bed.

“He was always so rough, so violent. When you pushed me, it was like he was pushing me and everything snapped back. I know what you wanted, and all my mind could think was that this wasn’t you, it was Sean and I had to do something to stop it.”

Bryce sat down next to me on the bed, rubbing my shoulders and tracing circles along my back. The touch didn’t scare me this time. He wasn’t Sean. This wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rough and it wasn’t violent. It was Bryce, and he was acting like Alex would have acted.

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have ever done anything like that. I’m sorry Devin.”

“Shhh, its fine. Stay here, let me feel you. It’s okay this time, I know you’re not going to act like Sean.”

We stayed on Bryce’s bed for a few minutes, his arms wrapped around mine.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t how the date was supposed to go.” I said, breaking the silence.

He put his finger to my lips and pulled me in closer, shaping his body to match my own position. It wasn’t how we expected today to go, but as my fears drifted away and I let myself become more comfortable, I wasn’t sure I would have said it was a bad thing.

When I went home later that night, I was more at peace with my relationship with Bryce than I had been. He had given me a lot to think about with who he was. When I hung my new clothes in the closet, I thought about everything Bryce had told me about the fraternity and all the things he let me share.

Things were different now.