GFD 12: Blood Ties - 41. Chapter 41

​Walking over the giant chessboard on the floor, I noticed The Jeweler looking me over. Head to toe. Smiling with approval. I couldn't understand why. ‟Still wondering what it is that I see in you, Justin?‟ He asked. ‟What could possibly be so special about someone so young? So unprepared for the duty of bringing a new era to the light for so many lost souls.‟

‟I'd be lying if I said that it hadn't crossed my mind.‟ I replied.

‟Sometimes a lack of experience is the true strength and beauty of youth. No universal truths, no stubborn beliefs resistant to change...you're a walking miracle, Justin. The Dawn was wise to choose you as its next vessel.‟

Confused, I said, ‟I just don't understand. Why me? What sense does it make to choose me? I'm not some great warrior, or a genius, or a leader. I'm just a stupid kid who gave up on life and got lucky enough to even be standing here right now.‟ I said. ‟There's nothing special about me at all.‟

The Jeweler stopped me at the end of the chessboard, looked me in the eye, and smiled warmly. He said something in that weird vampire language and patted me on the shoulder.

‟What was that?‟ I asked.

‟It's a very old vampire proverb. About life, about death, and the value of the experience in between. About those who choose, and those who are chosen. The 'value' in us all.‟ He said.

‟What does it mean?‟

‟Well, loosely translated...it means, 'once the chess game is over...both the king and the pawn...go into the same box.' It means death is an equalizer for us all, and life should never be seen as anything different. From womb to casket...we are all equally capable of miraculous deeds.‟

‟Heh...you said all of that?‟

‟The language of shadows contains centuries of wisdom that many will never know. Perhaps I will get the chance to teach you more during your stay here.‟ He said, guiding me down a hallway towards another room. I swear this place is so HUGE! From the outside, you'd never believe it contained so much...stuff. The next room he took me into was built like a giant circle, with strange markings on the floor positioned around a series of circles. Each circle getting smaller as it got closer to the center. ‟Please, sit down.‟

‟What? Like...you mean on the floor?‟ He nodded. ‟Is this a test?‟

‟Isn't everything?‟ He replied. ‟No firecrackers this time. You have my word.‟ I did as he said, and crossed my legs in the center circle. ‟Arms out to the side. Comfortably.‟ I stretched my arms out. ‟Fire.‟

‟What?‟

‟I want you to conjure fire. With both hands. And I want you to hold that fire until I tell you to stop.‟ He said, walking around the outside of the circle.

‟Just, like...in my hands or...?‟

‟Fire, Justin. Now.‟ He said. ‟Find the appropriate energy, and have it manifest in a calm and controllable manner.‟

Controlling an extra is never as easy as it seems. Especially when it's not even my extra. There's a process involved, where I have to visualize it, and conjure it up. It's easier to do when I'm fighting, because whatever I need just sort of leaps to the surface to protect me. It feels weird when I actually have to think about it.

‟I'm waiting, Justin.‟ He said.

Ok...fire. Where is the fire? Ummm...ok. Something's happening. I hope I don't burn myself.

My hands started to get warm, my palms were face up, and the more I thought about it...the hotter things got, until finally two stalks of flickering flames shot up nearly three feet in the air above me. It burned out almost immediately. Just one huge flare up, and then it was gone.

‟Is there a problem?‟ He asked.

‟It went away.‟

‟Is that what you wanted to happen?‟ He said, still walking a slow circle around me.

‟No. I mean...I don't know. I got fire. That's what you wanted, right?‟

He stopped to give me a stern look. Not so much in a mean way, but in a way that let me know that I was clearly missing the point. ‟Try again, Justin. Fire.‟

‟I'm not...I'm not sure I know how...‟

‟You know how. Focus. Manifest the fire, and hold the flame.‟

With a sigh, I tried to concentrate a little bit harder this time. I remembered back when Taryn first taught me how to do his 'message' thing. How I was straining and gritting my teeth and balling up my fists to try to get it to work. He kept reminding me that it wasn't something 'physical' that was making it happen. It was my feelings. My mind. Relax. And breathe. Yes...breathe...

There it is.

The flames began to rise up out of my palms again, but it wasn't as violent as it was last time. I kept concentrating and holding the flame steady, the heat of it was already causing beads of sweat to form on my forehead, but I kept it burning.

‟Lower, Justin. Calm the flame, and hold it.‟ It took a couple of tries to figure out how to turn down the heat a little and make the fire smaller, but before long...I looked at both hands to see me holding a small fireball in the center of each palm. ‟Very good.‟ He said. ‟Now, I want you to close your eyes, and listen to the sound of my voice. Do not let go of the fire. Do not permit it to burn out of control.‟

‟Okay...‟ I said.

‟As I'm sure that you have already accumulated more abilities than even you are aware of, it is going to be a serious challenge to keep these talents from slipping out of your control. Not simply to avoid material damage to yourself and others, but also to rewire your way of thinking.‟

‟My way of thinking?‟

‟Yes, Justin. You are going to have to start thinking deliberately. You are going to learn to create the things you want to happen, instead of merely reacting to the things happening around you.‟ He said, every measured step still positioning him behind me. ‟Being the Vampire Mimic is about choice. It is about bringing reality itself to life in ways that give them purpose. The reactive mind must take a backseat to conscious, intentional, decisions.‟

‟I'm...I'm sorry, Mr. Lockheart, but I don't understand.‟

‟Why did you walk out to the end of that Pier, Justin?‟ He asked.

‟Wait...what?‟ I opened my eyes, and I saw the fireballs in my hands burn brighter.

‟The fire, Justin. Calm the flame.‟ He instructed, and I got them to settle down again. ‟Your eyes...close them. I need you to focus.‟ I already didn't like this, but I did what he asked. ‟The Pier, Justin...you walked to the edge. You climbed over the railing. You stared down into the dark waters below. Why?‟

‟You know why...‟

‟But do you know why?‟ He asked. ‟Articulate. Put your actions into words. What did you go there to do?‟

‟I don't see what this has to do with anything...‟

‟You realize that it takes more energy for you to avoid the question and hide the secret than it does to simply say the words aloud, don't you? Every being's default setting is to tell the truth. So speak. What were your plans...once you stepped over the railing...and looked down into the waters below?‟

I could feel the flames in my hands heating up again. I didn't have to look this time, it was almost as if I could feel the extra surge of energy slipping away from me and had to fight to get it back under control. A part of me didn't want to say it. A part of me was filled with...this never-ending sense of shame when it came to the life I lived before Taryn came along. But as The Jeweler continued to pressure me into answering him, I finally mumbled...‟I was going to jump.‟

‟Jump?‟ He said, still waiting for me to complete my answer.

I gritted my teeth, but still maintained the flame, even though my arms were getting weak. ‟I was going to kill myself...‟ I said, barely above a whisper.

‟Can you explain why?‟ He asked.

‟Because I just couldn't take it anymore. That's why.‟ I could feel the anger welling up inside of me, but had to swallow it down in order to keep the balls of flame at a supposedly 'manageable' intensity.

‟Take what anymore?‟ He asked.

‟Any of it. Life in general. I was so SICK of being abused and forgotten and mistreated for NO reason!‟ I sneered.

‟So tell me...do you think that wanting to kill yourself was a 'choice'? Or a reaction?‟ He asked.

‟Wha...what...?‟ I said, now struggling to keep the fire down to a minimum.

‟Was your march towards a suicidal solution a deliberate choice? Or was it merely the result of you reacting to the situations surrounding you at the time?‟

‟I don't see what this has to do with anything...‟

‟Everything. What you think, what you feel, what you believe...are these your conscious choices? Are they intentional? Or are you simply surrendering to a series of unfortunate circumstances?‟

‟What's the difference???‟ I growled.

‟The 'difference' is that you are in control of one...and the other is in control of you.‟ He told me. ‟Surely, you don't plan to simply 'react' your way into an eternal legacy without thinking.‟

‟I didn't ASK to be a part of anyone's legacy...‟

‟And yet, here we are.‟ He said. ‟What do you plan to do about it?‟

‟I don't know...‟

‟It is your duty to know. The time for running on autopilot and feeding off of your current emotions is at an end. You become more dangerous with every vampire you come into contact with. Will you be able to carry the burden of knowing what kind of destruction you may cause if you act merely on instinct alone?‟ The Jeweler stepped in front of me and squatted down to look me in the eye. Eyes that were supposed to be closed. ‟You stand on the fine line between being an angel and becoming a demon. If you're going to simply become a product of the events that lay behind you, instead of an innovator for the challenges that lie ahead of you...the demon will win. You will become a reflection of the pain and the hatred that surrounds you, and will have no defense against it. How can a boy who has known such suffering possibly offer hope to others when all he sees are the dismal shadows of his past?‟

The flames in my hands began to flare up again. I was getting angry, and it was becoming harder to hold that anger back.

‟Do you think your varied abilities makes you worthy of being a Mimic?‟ He asked. ‟Vampire extras are nothing but emotion and experience translated into different forms of energy. Powerful, yes. But while I'm impressed with what you're capable of, that is not why you're here. This is not the way to the Vampire Dawn.‟ ‟I thought you were supposed to help me!‟ I said, my arms now fatigued from being stretched out for so long.

‟Oh, but I am, boy.‟ He said. Now placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me and try to maintain the flame in my hands. ‟How much of your life has been lived as a mere 'reaction' to outer influence? Your suicidal thoughts? Your running away from home? Your attack on that one bully in school?‟ He asked.

‟I TOLD you to stay out of my head!‟ I grunted.

‟I don't HAVE to be in your head, Justin. You're entire future has been revealed to me, in great detail, in the scriptures themselves.‟

‟The scriptures are WRONG!‟ I said.

‟The scriptures...are NEVER wrong!‟ He snapped back. But as he saw the distress in my facial expression, the struggle to maintain a steady flame quickly giving way to the emotional turbulence that I was feeling in my heart at the moment...he stood up straight again, and took a much more understanding approach. Deflecting our conflict by changing the subject, while still watching to make sure that I didn't lose my focus. ‟The written legend of the vampire Mimics who precede you are very detailed indeed. Battered souls born of fire, and pain, and tragedy. Vampires who are challenged to rise above all that they have been through so they may overcome their own torment and torture...all for the sake of something more.‟ He continued to travel just outside of my circle, walking around me. I wanted to let the fire go. I wanted to bring an end to this stupid exercise and get back to normal already. I'd much rather be on one of the buildings higher floors, snuggled up next to Taryn and enjoying a touch of luxury for a few minutes. But I don't think Mr. Lockheart was interested in my comfort at all. ‟You know...vampire scriptures, much like many tales of old...share certain concepts with one another. The truly ancient ones borrow and imitate one another, creating a great deal of similarities between them. It happens much more often than you might imagine.‟ He said. ‟Much like the Nativity, where Jesus was born at night under a bright star...and visited by three wise men, bearing gifts. As our savior, you too were born into darkness under a bright light. And destined to be given gifts of knowledge and power from three wise men as well. For you...the Vampire Comicality was the first. Vampire Elder Zero was the second. And I have been studying and patiently waiting for a great many years...with the hopes that I could potentially be your third. To be granted the honor of bringing the sacred Vampire Mimic to the dawn. A new era is finally upon us. Everything is falling into place at last, just as it was written.‟

I HATE to hear that, 'just as it was written' stuff! I don't care what some stupid, six hundred year old, scripture says...I'm not going to lose my Taryn! The rest of the world can burn if it comes down to me making a choice between the two.

‟The true power of the chosen one does not come from raw power.‟ He said. ‟It comes from awareness. From choice. From standing at the nexus of all reality and being able to realize the infinite possibilities around you...if only you are willing to cease the constant war inside you.‟ I was trying so hard to grasp what he was saying, all while keeping calm enough to stop the fire from fiercely blazing out of my control. But that's when he said, ‟I can tell from the hidden shadows cast over your heart...that you have already lost your sacrificial lamb. Yes?‟

I didn't answer at first. In fact, the truth behind his question didn't strike me until a few moments later.

‟Every Mimic has been deeply burdened with the loss of his loved ones during their transformation. The ones closest to you are destined to fall, but will eventually enhance your understanding of the Dawn...no matter how much it pains you.‟ I don't know how he was able to know so much about my life, either in daylight OR in darkness. I can usually 'feel' it when someone is attempting to read my thoughts, or poke into my memories..but not when it came to the Jeweler. It was almost as if my story was an open book to him. One that he had read over a thousand times. ‟It hurt, didn't it? Losing him?‟

My mind was suddenly flooded with flashes of what happened at the hospital. Fighting Alec as hard as I could...only to let Dylan pay the ultimate price because of my failure. In my mind, I saw the jagged piece of metal pierce his lovely heart...over and over again. The most innocent of whimpers escaping his open lips, a thin river of tears rolling down from each eye. He sacrificed himself for love...and I don't think even he knew that it would hurt so much.

‟He was...my friend...‟ I said sadly. The moment the memory of Dylan and how happy he was to be in love, ready to leave the lot with Dion and start a whole new life somewhere else...the flame in my palms fizzled out, and only a few pitiful wisps of smoke remained. ‟He didn't deserve to die the way he did.‟

‟Does anyone?‟ The Jeweler asked. ‟Your friend did what he was meant to do. He followed his circle to completion.‟

‟I should have done more...‟

‟There was nothing more you could have done.‟

‟I could have saved him! If...if only I was stronger. If only I had enough time to find the right extra...‟

‟Sure.‟ He said, almost sarcastically. ‟Why not? You could have gone out into the city, scanning every vampire you came across to see if they had the means to repair your friend's wounded heart. You wouldn't have to ask permission, you're a 'reader', are you not? You could have ripped the extras from them and wielded their fantastic abilities as if they were your own. Problem solved, right?‟ At this point, The Jeweler knelt down beside me and lifted my chin to gaze into my eyes. ‟A collection of evil deeds, no matter how small, no matter how much you believe they are justified...will never add up to the greater good. They only add up to a bigger pile of evil deeds.‟ He told me. ‟The pursuit of power, the need to force solutions upon the situation at hand, is the path that leads to madness. It is the mindset of ogres and tyrants. The craving of power will do you no good, boy.‟

‟I'm just saying that I could have been stronger. That's all.‟

‟And yet, with all of your strength and all of your varied abilities, his end would have still been the same.‟ He was so quick to put the idea out of my head, and I couldn't understand why. ‟You are still 'reacting' to the world around you, Justin. This is the habit we must break within you. You will always be two steps behind if you continue to think this way.‟

‟Think WHAT way???‟ I grumbled. ‟Why can't you just talk to me like a normal person? What the fuck is any of this supposed to mean?‟ I saw his face harden slightly, a look of disappointment in his eyes. ‟I'm sorry. I just...I'm so tired of being confused. I just wanted to be happy. For ONCE, I wanted something for myself. And now I've got this to deal with, and I can't even use my powers for anything that matters.‟

The Jeweler stood up, and he offered me his hand. ‟If you think that you can use your muscle, your wild variety of extraordinary abilities, to save the world...then you are going to waste a lot of time and energy on a circle that will ultimately lead to ruin. And failure. Not just for you...but for the ones you love, and any vampires who are foolish enough to believe in you and follow your example.‟ He motioned for me to accept his help to get back up on my feet...and I took it. ‟BUT...if you can find away to use the talents you possess to inspire them to save themselves...then entire generations of vampire kind can be spared the downfall.‟ He lightly gripped my shoulders and said, ‟You are so young. But in your youth is the advantage of growth. Adaptability. In you, we can find freedom from the prisons we built for ourselves. But you have to be willing to give us the key.‟

‟How am I supposed to do that?‟ I said.

‟How, indeed?‟ He replied. ‟It appears we still have a long way to go in breaking through your personal shield. But we'll get there. In time.‟