Hellish Date - 1. Piper

In a very STRICT Catholic High School in the south, it was about time for the senior prom. I being the only male of age to attend had been made the Art Club representative. Now my rank can the whole school hierarchy was that of outcast even of the outcasts ask. So trying to find a date was difficult to say the least. To wit I had to go with the take "mothers co-worker's daughter" to the prom.

Sadly the pick up was the highlight of the date. She was talking and conversing, but the instant we left she did a wonderful impression of a mime with severe boredom.

It was to be a nice dinner with time to chat, maybe become friends... It was fucking hell.

We were seated and gave our drink orders. Then I decided to get out of my shell, take the lead and open a dialogue with her.

"So, how are you?"I started. (Solid gold beginning)

"Good." (Solid response, I wasn't expecting War and Peace)

"What do you um... like to do?" (Stumbling B, be careful. But nice and broad so she can answer any way she wants.)

"Stuff." (Anyway but that!)

"I like to read, any favorite stories?" (Good, good, some info about myself and an open question for her, excellent!)

"I don't care to read." (OK, swing and a miss but now we can change topics.)

"How about movies do you have a favorite genre?" (OK. Sounding desperate there chill. Just because she has the vibrancy of new risen zombie, she may just be nervous. If she can't do this then just focus on the meal and maybe we can get out sooner )

"I like horror." She said. (Oh My God! We can have a conversation, Angels are singing, trumpets blaring, and somewhere on a green meadow a unicorn begins to prance!)

"Really, I'm kind of a coward when it comes to horror movies, but I would have to say my favorite would be Puppet Master." I leave out just to see what I'd get.

"I think puppets are creepy." (That's it?! The Angels fall down. OK I can save this.)

"Yeah there were. What's your favorite (horror) movie?"

"Don't have one." (The trumpets rust over.)

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yes." (AAAARRRRRRGGGG! EMOTE DAMMIT! Do I need to jam forks in my eye sockets to get some reaction out of you?!)

So having finished my meal and the dance an hour and a half away I talked to the only one I could. Myself.

Unknowingly doing the glass rim sound.

"How are you doing that?"

The question brought me to reality and I tried to teach her. Try being the opportune word because after trying for not even 30 seconds she folded her arms and pouted. (The unicorn has tripped and broken it's leg.)

During her pout she spots some classmates and leaves me to go talk with them, I get up walk up to her friends and am swiftly told to go back and she just wanted to say hi. (The unicorn has been taken to make glue.)

So after her 20 minute "hi" we left for the dance. And it only got worse. Not once during our 3 dances did she look at me talk to me or acknowledge that I was even there. She had her eyes glued to EVERY other guy in the room...and absolutely not subtle. Well I got my honors, pictures, and dance and dropped her off.

Mom told me several days later that her coworker said that her daughter had the best night of her life with me. Would I like to take her out again?

It was so bad that my classmates asked if I was OK about her hitting on everyone else...including my brother who came to congratulate me on being on the prom court. no editor or beta just decided to write. Hope you enjoyed.