Jimbo - 5. Il Gran Si

Had we really seen what we thought we had seen? Were the deer just an apparition? Surely not, as we both had seen them. I knew from my studies of Native American life that deer symbology signified an ability to move through life’s challenges with grace and agility. The deer was also seen as being sensitive and intuitive. Deer imagery also signified a magical ability to regenerate and bring meaning to life’s mysteries.

Mason had the deer antlers and white tail on his loin cloth. Little did we know that he had chosen wisely and innately what characteristics he and I would both need in our lives in the near future. The heart energy from the deer would be important as we were now coupled. We needed our hearts to be joined together.

Sunday morning was magical as I prepared our meal. We went to the dining hall and I pulled eggs from the coolers. I grabbed the container of grits and started boiling the salted water. Mason popped bread into the toaster. When we sat to eat, I noticed that he had smeared strawberry jam on his cheek. I laughed as I licked it off and told him that I might have to try some rope culture on him before others arrived at the camp. We were mirthful and bumped hips as we stood at the sink washing our dishes. Mason had turned on the radio and we swayed and sang along with the music. Neither of us were great singers but that didn’t matter. We sang along and made absolute fools of ourselves. We laughed with contentment and joy.

Noon arrived and the staff who returned for the final week were ready to finish off the camp season. We were expecting the scouts at 2 pm so we needed to make sure that everything was in order. Mr. Fish was very distracted when we had staff meeting. He asked me to review several things – it would have been nice if he had told me ahead of time. I knew that part of being a leader was handling things that flew in from left field. After the meeting I asked Mr. Fish if he was okay. He gave me a grim smile and said that things were great, just great. Somehow, I didn’t believe him.

The troops arrived along with the pick-up troop we had put together. The pick-up troop was comprised of scouts who hadn’t been able to come with their own troop or those who wanted to come back for a second week. I saw a Scout Master and assumed he was the leader for the pick-up troop. Imagine my surprise when he introduced himself as Ed Higinbotham. He was Mason’s Scout Master. Just at that time, a vehicle pulled up and Toby jumped out. Neither Mason nor I knew he was coming for the week. We were fairly non-plussed as I gave Mr. Higinbotham directions to the camp site. Toby piped up and said he would lead the guys to the site. I saw Higinbotham and Toby have a private conversation and they kept looking at Mason and me while they were talking. It felt awkward. Mason told me he would head to the waterfront to make sure all of the troops were arriving for the water safety event.

I turned and walked to the office. Mr. Fish was sitting at his desk. He did not greet me when I walked in. I sat at my desk and went through a few papers. Without looking up, I said that I wished I had known that Mr. Higinbotham was leading the pick-up troop. I also said Mason was surprised to see Toby and that his name was not on the roster I had received on Friday. Mr. Fish said nothing. I stretched back in my chair and asked Mr. Fish if had anything to say to me.

“Yes. We have a very busy week ahead of us. We also need to talk about how long it will take to dismantle the camp after the last camper leaves on Saturday. I would like for you to plan the logistics and have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow.”

At that point he arose and walked out of the office.

Something was wrong, very wrong.

I wandered through the camp sites to make sure that the troops were settling in and to answer questions they had. I reminded them that dinner was at 5:30 sharp and joked that if a troop was late their food was distributed to the other tables. Actually, that didn’t happen but I preferred that they be prompt. Stretching the truth a little never hurt. Little did I know.

Mr. Fish and I had an easy working relationship but I decided to double check things that afternoon. I went to the dining hall and the head cook was in a bit of a panic. She did not have a final head count for dinner. This was something that was normally handled by Mr. Fish. I gave her the numbers we would be dealing with for the week. Normally, I would not have been so attentive to being in the dining hall as the troops arrived but I knew that this was not a normal night. I stood at the door and welcomed the troops and pointed out their tables. I looked over and saw Mason. He was giving me a quizzical look, I returned it in kind. Just before we were to have grace, Mr. Fish walked into the dining hall and headed into the kitchen. I moved over and sat beside Mason.

Normally, Mr. Fish gave a rousing welcome to the troops on Sunday night but as he was leaving the dining hall he asked me to give the welcome. He then walked out. He didn’t eat dinner. I emulated his approach and had each Scout Master introduce his troop. They would tell us where they were from, what they hoped to accomplish during the week, and how they were going to be better than any one troop during the week. This one-ups-man-ship got the boys really revved and ready to charge into programming the following day. Mr. Higinbotham stood and told everyone that he was glad to be at camp following surgery a couple of weeks prior. He said he was still learning who was in his troop but related that he was a quick study and with the help of Toby they would be on top of their game by breakfast. The boys in his troop stood and whooped it up. I gave a final overview and said I looked forward to working with them all week. I made a spur of the moment decision and asked Mason to stand. I introduced him as my assistant and that he would be in touch regarding some special projects planned for the week. Mr. Higinbotham and Toby gave each other a significant look. I led everyone in a rousing Boy Scout song and out the doors they went.

I went into the kitchen to thank everyone for doing a great job. They were a little perplexed by the turn of events. I pretended that everything was normal and that we would have a great final week. I asked for volunteers who could help for a few days as we dismantled the camp and stored all equipment until next year. It was important to make sure that the staff who stayed were well fed. Closing up camp would be grueling work.

When I got to the tent, Mason was lying on his bunk in just his briefs. He had painted bull’s eyes around each of his nipples. A smile came across my face as I took that to mean that I had a job ahead of me of zeroing on the targets. We both liked playing with each other’s torsos. Me particularly.

“Do you know what is happening?” Mason asked with a questioning look.

“I don’t have a clue.”

“I went up to Toby to chat and he told me that with his new position he would be very busy and probably wouldn’t have much time to talk during the week. I didn’t ask about his new position.” Mason was perplexed by that encounter.

I leaned over and licked one of Mason’s nipples. He moaned. He had a fullness in his briefs. I was just about to lick the other nipple when I heard someone call my name. Luckily, I was still in my uniform. I adjusted my shorts and stepped out of the tent. There stood Mr. Fish.

“Can we take a walk?”

I nodded my head knowing that Mason had heard the question.

We walked out of the campsite and he headed to the amphitheater. I was silent. This was his time and he needed to tell me what was happening without me interrupting. We descended the hill and he asked me to have a seat. He paced back and forth in front of the fire pit.

“I am going to need you to take a leadership role this week. I can’t tell you all of the particulars but it is important that you be seen as running the camp. I will be there to support you. Are you able to do that?”

“Of course, I will do anything you need.”

“I will be around. Let’s think of this as role training. You will do my job and I will do yours. Except I refuse to come into the dining hall in just a pair of swim trunks.”

We both laughed at that. It was the first time I had seen Mr. Fish smile all day. Mr. Fish had enjoyed too many meals and his girth could barely be contained in his uniform. He looked like a bear. He was very hairy except on top of his head. It looked like he polished his head. He maintained a two-day growth of beard that was starting to turn grey.

“When the season is over I will be able to tell you more, but I don’t know that I can tell you everything. I really appreciate that you will keep this confidential. You should not tell Mason anything. That boy is smart and will probably figure it out without being told.”

Mr. Fish then came over, asked me to stand and gave me a hug. It was more than the perfunctory man hugs we normally gave each other. I felt like he was hanging on for life itself.

We walked back up the hill and I headed to the staff camp area. He said nothing more.

When I got back to the tent, Mason had fallen asleep. I crawled in behind him and set the alarm clock. Normally, my internal clock would waken me but I couldn’t depend on that. The world had tilted off its axis and I needed to find a way to maintain equilibrium. I pulled Mason to me, I kissed his neck and told him that I was so glad that he had flown into my life. I held him as if my life depended on our relationship to get me through the night.

Monday morning arrived with lots of rain. The land around Camp Falls was red clay so the troops came into the dining hall stomping the mud off their shoes and boots right outside the door. They were a glum bunch. Who wanted to go to camp and deal with rain? Luckily, it was a hot breakfast morning. The bacon, eggs, waffles, oatmeal and juice were inhaled. I then made the morning announcements. We always had alternative schedules for rainy days. The waterfront staff were redistributed to other program areas and I quickly reviewed for the troops how that would work. We also made it fun. There was less emphasis on skills building and more on teamwork and fun. By lunchtime the boys were chatty and said they were enjoying the day. The rain had slowed considerably and I told the troops that if the sun was out by 3 o’clock then we would have a mass gathering at the waterfront and for everyone to be prepared for water battles. I think every scout was praying for sunshine. The staff were inwardly groaning because of the massive effort it took to keep everyone safe while having a good time. It also guaranteed that everyone would sleep well because we kept them at the waterfront until after supper time. We would forego uniforms and eat in our swimsuits. The kitchen staff kept at least 72 hours of food on hand at all times. I asked if it was possible to switch out the menu and have a cookout? They were grumpy about the extra work but agreed.

“Only for you, Mr. Jimbo. Only for you.” The cook smiled as she assured me that all would be well. The cooks worked in the local schools during the year and loved kids. They knew that food was an important part of keeping the scouts happy. I also made sure that the scouts let them know how much they enjoyed the food. It took a lot of work to get the grills down to the waterfront but I was determined that we make the sacrifice.

Mr. Fish stayed in his office all day. I checked in with him before I made any of the changes to our camp life. He complimented me on my quick thinking and ability to get the staff to pull together. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usual two-day beard growth was now on day number three. Mr. Fish was the definition of an extrovert so I knew it had to be killing him to stay in his office.

I would see Mason in the distance during the day and wave. We didn’t have time to talk. By the time I got to the waterfront that afternoon, Mason came up and said he needed to talk with me.

“Later, please. I need to make sure that everything is set.”

“I have taken care of that for you. Stop and look at me, please.”

I stopped and looked at Mason.

“I don’t know what is going on, but I know it involves Mr. Higinbotham and Toby. You and I are a team and we will work together on this. Remember Greek mythology. I am here for you and we don’t do it alone. Something smells rotten in Denmark. That is actually Shakespeare. By the way, I have the Cavafy poems and we need to start reading them.”

I nodded my head in agreement.

“Tonight, after you get back to the tent we will start figuring this out. I will see what else I can find out from Toby and Higinbotham. See what you can learn from Mr. Fish. But right now we have this major waterfront battle to deal with. Come, Odysseus, we go forth into battle.”

Mason had worn his orange speedos which caught the eye of Mr. Higinbotham who was in a pair of box style swim trunks. I could see the incision from his recent surgery but it was hard to take my eyes off of his square pecs. They were covered in a dusting of blond hair. His swimsuit could barely contain his manhood. He had the same blond hair on his legs. His taut midriff was an indication of his exercise routine. He was an extremely handsome and desirable man. I guessed him to be about 25 years old.

I walked up to Mr. Higinbotham and asked if he was able to do the water battle. He turned and looked me in the eyes.

“Unfortunately, no. The doctor would kill me if he even knew I was at camp this week. I couldn’t let Toby down. He insisted that I come to camp.” He laughed. “Whatever Toby wants, Toby gets.”

We stood in silence. I didn’t know how to respond to what he had just divulged.

“Mason seems to have a lot of power with the staff. Is that because he is your boyfriend?”

Were we that obvious? Did everyone know that Mason was my boyfriend? “No, he has built up a strong relationship with staff. They trust his instincts. He has proved himself to be a good leader.”

“Two strong leaders who are lovers. That is rather formidable. I guess Mason would say it was very Greek.” Mr. Higinbotham turned and looked at me. He smirked. I tried to keep a neutral face. “Toby confirmed what I suspected: Mason is just a little gay Jew boy. Who knew he would hook-up with the Assistant Camp Director? That makes it convenient for you, I am sure.”

I walked off. It was either that or smash his face.

Mr. Higinbotham moved down to the shore and kept up verbal encouragement and direction to Toby. He only had eyes for that one boy. As the time ended for waterfront activities, Lester pulled out his whistle, blew it and got everyone’s attention and told the scouts it was time to get out of the water. The score was tied between the teams. I told them we would have a tie breaker later in the week. Lester walked up to me, threw his arm across my shoulder and said that there was something strange about the Higinbotham fellow.

“Be careful, Jimbo. He is not to be trusted. Also, I think Toby has an ax to grind. He is a devious, scorned boy. If you need us, the staff is totally behind you. Either you or Mason only have to say the word and we will bring forth our support. We love you guys.”

I was more rattled than ever.

The cook-out was a huge success. Burgers, hot dogs, chips, baked beans and ice cream sundaes for dessert. I thanked everyone for their efforts that day and told them we would be back on regular schedule the next day.

I walked into the office. Mr. Fish had an apartment behind the office and I knocked on the door. The door opened and Mr. Higinbotham walked out. He was still in his swimsuit. He had a look of the cat that had just eaten the canary. He was not expecting to see me. I pretended like it was the most natural thing in the world and looked at Mr. Fish and said that we were back to regular schedule. I then turned and walked out of the office.

Curiouser and curiouser.

That night Mason and I sat in the tent and told each other everything we knew. He became very emotional when I told him of the comment that Mr. Higinbotham had made about him. It took a few minutes of comforting before we could continue. I felt it important to tell everything even if it hurt his feelings. We were in unknown territory.

“They probably think I am your butt boy.”

“Well, there is one way to solve that problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Suppose I become your butt boy?” Mason’s eyes flew wide open. He started stumbling while trying to speak. I laughed. “Just a thought.” I laughed again. We hugged and I grabbed his hands and moved them to my butt. He backed up and just stared at me. “Think about it, we could both be the butt boys. Then nobody could mess with our shit.” I cracked up at my feeble joke. “Now back to problem solving.”

After the waterfront activity that afternoon, Mason had walked back to the campsite with Toby. He said that Toby kept rubbing his crotch and talking about needing some action. Mason reminded him that he wasn’t doing that with him anymore.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I have someone else who likes me. He also has money. How do you think I was able to pay for camp this week? This will be taken care of tonight – it is being arranged right now.”

We looked at each other thinking the same thing. It couldn’t be.

“OK, this is what we do and we will do this together.” Mason nodded as I laid out the plan. He made a couple of important alterations to the plan. Thank God for Mason’s brain.

First, we would go to their campsite. That could be easily explained as just a routine inspection. If Toby and/or Higinbotham were not there we would go to the office. The apartment had windows and no curtains. Mr. Fish said that in the woods you don’t need curtains.

A bunch of staff were sitting around the campfire in our area. I called Lester over and told him to be on stand-by. He nodded. As I was walking away, he grabbed my arm.

“Be careful, Jimbo. I don’t know what you are doing but for God’s sake please be careful.”

I smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up.

Mason had his flashlight which helped as we walked the back trails to the campsite. We turned it off when we approached the site. A bunch of the guys were around the campfire. We acted stealthily and stayed outside the perimeter. We didn’t want to be seen. Mr. Higinbotham was sharing a tent with Toby and the flaps were open on both ends. They were not inside. They were also not around the campfire. I motioned to Mason and we back-tracked. We knew not to talk but used hand signals to communicate.

We stayed off the main path and circled behind the office and apartment. A light was on in the office but no one was there. We dropped to a crouch position and moved behind the building to the apartment. The images I saw seared themselves into my eyes and brain. Mr. Fish was supine on the bed, naked. Mr. Higinbotham had forced himself into Mr. Fish and was calling him vile names. Toby was standing back and pleasuring himself. Mason swayed from the vision in front of us. I held him tight. We didn’t need to see anymore so we lay on the ground. I heard Toby say that he was glad that they had come to understand his demands. He also said that he had other things he had for them to do. Mason and I stayed in the same place until Mr. Higinbotham and Toby left. We heard the office door close. We continued to lie there. Then we heard Mr. Fish leave the office and walk down the trail toward the staff area.

We ran through the back trails and arrived to the campfire just before Mr. Fish arrived. We were sitting with the other guys and pretended like we had been there all night. They gave us weird looks. Mr. Fish asked how things were going and I spoke up and said we were all just sitting around chatting about how the day had worked. Mr. Fish thanked everyone and asked me if things were set for the next day. I told him that everything was under control in case he needed to go to town. Mr. Fish gave a quizzical look and said that he wasn’t needed in town.

“OK, I didn’t know if you wanted some extra time off since this is the last week and I have everything under control.”

“Nope, I am here to support you.” He then smiled and said, “Also, I have to do a performance evaluation for the Assistant Camp Director and I need to be here to properly assess you.” He did his eye brow wiggle thing and everyone laughed. At least he could manage a sense of humor.

After he left, all of the guys looked at me and asked what was happening. I told them I didn’t know what they were talking about. They said that you could cut the tension with a knife for the past day and a half. One of them said, “this involves that scout master and Toby doesn’t it.” I shrugged my shoulders and said I would pay closer attention now that he had mentioned it. The fire was dying down so I suggested we all get a good night’s sleep.

Mason and I went to the tent and tied the flaps. We couldn’t be sure if some of the staff were outside listening so I pulled out a note pad and wrote that we would go to the waterfront early in the morning and discuss what to do. He nodded.

“Now, to Cavafy. Do we start at the beginning and read through the volume or do we pick certain poems?” Mason told me it was my choice. I flipped through the book and randomly chose a poem.

“Then let’s start with Che Fece…Il Gran Rifiuti.”

Mason gave a groan. “Am I going to have to translate the Italian for you?”

I gave him a pretend slap against his head and told him that luckily it was already translated. Could he really translate Italian? I read the poem and then we then talked about when a great opportunity presented in our lives would be brave enough to say yes. Cavafy had laid out the end results of each answer: yes or no. We had chosen ‘yes’ and we were in the midst of figuring out what it meant. A ‘no’ would have shut the door forever but the ‘yes’ had opened up endless possibilities. We were satisfied that we were together on this great adventure. We also discussed ‘il gran si;’ the great yes. We were open to the possibilities of yes and the adventures it would bring. It was both magical and scary. Actually, Mason focused on the magical and I moved to the land of scary.

Could this happen to us at such a young age. We talked about historical figures and how old they were when they made the grand gestures in their lives. Mason talked about the Greeks but I needed to bring it back to an area where I had some knowledge.

“Think of our founding fathers. They were young rebels. Change is brought by the young, not the old. The old sit around reflecting about their earlier lives and how they turned the world on its head.”

“On that note, I am snoring. Let’s go to sleep and be prepared for the morrow.” Mason immediately dropped down and was sleeping.

It was a restless night for me as I thought of what we had seen in Mr. Fish’s apartment. We awoke and put on our swimsuits. When I opened the tent flap, the deer were standing there looking at us. We caught our breath. The buck raised his head as he heard noise from a nearby tent. He and the doe turned and within two leaps were out of the campsite.

“Why are they here?” Mason asked.

“I have no idea, but I take it as a good omen. They are reminding us of something important in our lives.”

Imagine our surprise when we saw the Scout Master and his protégé on the dock at the lake. They had been in the lake and were drying each other.

I looked at Mason and quietly said, “Remember your Whitman.”

“What Whitman? What are you talking about?”

“Those who love each other shall become invincible.”

Mason gave me an odd look.

“We love each other. We are invincible when we are together. Each of them has his own agenda. They would betray each other in a heartbeat.”

We were walking toward the water as we talked. I tried to make it appear to be a normal conversation even though I was about to crap my pants.

“Good morning, gentlemen. You are up early.” I had on my best Assistant Camp Director smile.

Mr. Higinbotham said they came down early for a swim before the rest of the guys awoke.

I looked at his incision and asked if the doctor said he could be in a fresh water lake.

He looked down and asked if I thought there was a problem.

“It looks a little red and infected. I may be wrong. I back up the nurse when she is not here but I could be wrong. We have the lake tested for parasites and amoeba but that is for healthy intact skin. We don’t have it tested for wounds because scouts aren’t allowed to be here if they have open sores. I suggest you see the nurse. Especially if you are febrile. You know the guys piss in the lake all the time. Some even take a crap when they are skinny dipping. I keep telling the water front staff that is gross but they just laugh at me. I try to never put my head under water.”

Mr. Higinbotham looked pale. Toby looked at Mason and then me to see if we were joking. We kept our professional demeanor.

“Ed, maybe you should see the nurse as soon as she arrives.” Did I just hear Toby call Mr. Higinbotham, Ed? Yep, I sure did. As they were walking off, Toby reached up to Mr. Higinbotham’s forehead to check for his temperature.

All during breakfast, I would see Mr. Higinbotham raise his shirt and look at his incision. I had planted a seed of doubt about his safety. Additional seeds might need to be planted.

Wednesday lunch was the usual riotous experience. The boys were looking forward to their parent’s arrival. They also were busy rehearsing their skits. They had already chosen the person to be tapped into the Order of the Arrow. The pick-up troop did not get to pick someone to be tapped.

I was aping Mr. Fish when I handed out mail.

“Oo, la, la. I have a package from Paris. Is that French perfume I smell?” I made a big show of sniffing the package and letting out a big sigh. The scouts were going wild.

“Let me see who has a French girlfriend?”

I could see Mason blushing. He was eager to come take the package.

I sniffed again and said “Let’s see who this if for?” I acted startled. “Boys, boys, boys, I don’t believe it. It is for……..me.” The boys were whooping. “Ah, I guess Gigi is missing me.”

One final sniff and I then smiled at the boys and told them I would see them at dinner.

They headed out into the sunshine. They loved the play acting. Mason came up with his hand out. He was grinning. I looked at him and asked what he wanted.

“The package. Jimbo, give me my package.”

I looked at the package and in a French accent said, “I don’t have a package for you, Monsieur Jenner.” I showed him the package addressed to me. He looked lost and tears came to his eyes. I had overdone it. He was missing his parents.

“Tonight, when we are getting ready for the ceremony we will open the package.”

“Do you know what is in the package?”

“Oui, Cheri. I ordered this especial for us. In a few hours we will see whether they were able to fill my order.”

I reached out and pulled him to me. This was the first time I had hugged him when other people were around. He needed comforting and I was going to provide what was needed. I kissed the top of his head, told I loved him and that we had work to do.

I met with Mr. Fish and was given news that I was not expecting. This was a week of surprises. I thought of the deer that had appeared at our tent. It took all of my agility and grace to get through the afternoon. I was thankful that Mason and I were together. I didn’t know if I could get through this alone.