Jacob Matthews - 5. Chapter 5

After class ended almost everyone sighed in relief at the end of another school day. It was lucky for those people with which school ended at the last period. Regretfully for me, this meant that it was time to serve my detention. Well, I’m not sure if ‘regretfully’ was the right word, as I was not in the slightest filled with any kind of regret after being callous and brutally honest about Tiffany in Geography. Maybe it was just regret that I got caught. Yeah that was it. Worth it.

Although at the time my outburst was worth it, it meant that as my teammates gathered on their way out across the soccer pitch, I was unable to join them. I saw more of them grouped together on their way out and missed the sense of teammate camaraderie I hadn’t felt since last season. I was itching to get this over and done with and get out there with them too. Before I could get out there myself though, I needed to serve my time first.

To be fair, Miss Faith was masterful in her explanation of the work I missed, and we got through all the required material in breakneck speed. It was refreshing and invigorating to be able to have this one-on-one session with her. Since Miss Faith wasn’t trying to control the class and help everyone understand all the content, we could focus on the more interesting aspects in detail, having a dynamic conversation about the political and economic factors affecting population growth. To say she was eloquent and passionate would be an understatement. It seemed as if her whole being breathed life into the topics, as if this was her bread and butter. I could only one day aspire to be as passionate as she was about my future career.

“Well Nick, that was great. Nicely done.” Miss Faith commended as we finished up with the lesson.

“I wish all my lessons could be that efficient. You really grasp the content well and have a deep understanding of all the assessable material, and then some more!” She brightly continued.

I looked down at my books, abashed. I liked the content, and I guess I was ok at it, but I never considered myself great at it. But to hear the praise from her brought some heat to my cheeks. I never was good at getting compliments.

“Well that’s just because you explain everything so well.” I stammered out, trying to change the subject.

“You’re too kind Nick, but I mean what I said.” She briefly paused, clearly thinking about what she was going to say.

“I don’t want to needlessly pressure you, but I really think you have what it takes to top the class this year Nick. I know you’ve typically come around middle of the class, but you always demonstrate an amazing wealth of knowledge in classroom discussions, as well as your assessments. I know the exams have been where you struggle most of the time, but you’ve shown some real improvement, especially since last year.” Miss Faith encouraged lightly.

I wasn’t sure how to respond, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear those words from her. It’s not something I’d ever considered. Sam was always the smart one out of us, but maybe I could have a real go of school this year. This was the year that counted, I thought. Twelve years of school leading up to a set of exams, then off to university for those of us who made it in, and work or travel for the rest.

“It’s going to be a tight contest I think, as this class has a lot of diligent students, but I think if you put the effort in, you’ll really be able to see it pay off.” She informed me.

“Particularly if you want to beat… ‘certain’ individuals” she said in an unsavoury manner.

There is no doubt in my mind she was referring to Tiffany, who despite my distaste, was top of the class last year. Notwithstanding the fact that Miss Faith clearly wasn’t impressed by what Tiffany (or myself too I guess) had said earlier that day, there was no doubting that she was a competent student despite her deepest desires to be popular and image focused.

“Thanks Miss Faith, I’ll see if I can give them a run for their money.” I said, with no doubt that we both knew who I was talking about.

“I need to jet to practice now, sorry about earlier, and thanks again for the lesson – ah I mean detention.” I fondly explained, while I was packing my belongings into my bag.

That earned me a wry smile before I made a mad dash through the corridor and out to the pitch, where practice was already underway.

I could see the rugby team training next to the pitch, and quickly scanned the faces, but couldn’t see Sam’s there. Maybe he decided to skip out on training, I thought. Either way that wasn’t my concern now. I hurried to the sideline to dump my bags and quickly get changed into my gear so I could go and join the rest of the team in completing the drills and exercises we were going to work on.

I grabbed my jersey out of the sports bag and slipped it halfway over my neck, where it was just sitting on my shoulders. I had one arm through one of the sleeves and was hopping madly on one foot trying to get my left shoe off so I could wear my boots. After managing to rip my shoes off, I pulled down my pants in one swift movement so they around my ankles and bent down to grab my shorts when I heard a resounding THWACK, followed by a sharp pain of a ball hitting me in the back of my head.

I stumbled forward but tripped over my school pants which were still around my ankles and slammed unceremoniously headfirst into the ground. It was at the exact moment that laughter erupted from beside the field that I knew my mistake. The image of me on all fours, wearing half a shirt and just my briefs was obviously exactly the kind of thing Sam was hoping would happen and his raucous laughter echoed from my left. I hurried to try and get up and salvage what little dignity I had left, hoping that nobody else saw before I turned to furiously glare at Sam.

“Payback is a bitch isn’t it? I warned you to watch yourself after your little stunt with my Maths textbook in the hallway,” he announced, all but admitting that this was almost the best possible outcome he could have.

I could see the cheekiness he had in him glint in his eyes, and my anger dissipated only to be replaced by severe embarrassment as I realised that he wasn’t the only one who witnessed my blunder. He’d been running some kicking drills with James and Ben who were still cacking themselves standing a few metres behind Sam. They were decent enough guys as far as I was concerned, however not warning me of this little stunt of Sam’s didn’t do them any favours in my book. About ten metres to the left of Sam, holding a rugby ball was Jacob, whose face was masked with a mixture of humour and something else I couldn’t discern.

Now astutely aware of the audience I had, I rushed to finish getting changed as I could hear the four guys chuckling amongst themselves. After Jacob’s comment in Maths about my physique, this was the absolute last outcome I could have wanted to happen. I self-consciously rushed to pull off my awkwardly tangled pant legs and pull on my shorts, and finally finished putting both my arms through the holes in my jersey, which I had never got around to doing before my stumble. There’s nothing like being splayed in the mud and grass, ass up in nothing but your briefs, and that’s no doubt the image they still had in their heads.

I shot Sam a last look after I had finished changing in an effort to let him know I was pissed off, but I found he had a softer look this time, and I knew I couldn’t be mad at him. After all, I did deserve it. Realising that today I had gone from thinking that I may not have still had my best friend upon waking up, to finding out that we were still mates, and we were back to playing pranks on each other was so refreshing and gave me a new lease on life. Normally I’d be one to dwell on the negative a little longer, but this afternoon had really gone almost as well as I could have hoped, and knowing that Sam and I were still going to be as inseparable as ever went a long way to making me feel secure in myself – despite the fact that he’d just kicked a ball at me and caused me to be the laughing stock. Life is too short to stay mad at your friends, I figured.

I jogged onto the pitch to try and seamlessly join in the drills with the nearest group. Upon my arrival, one of the friendlier guys, Rhys, gave me a bit of banter about flashing my assets to the rugby team. Given that it was a good-natured jab, and that he didn’t double down on my obvious embarrassment about the situation went a long way for him in my books.

“I think you’ve managed to get away with not making a complete fool of yourself in front of the others.” Rhys quietly explained to me as we took a brief respite to listen to the instructions of next drill.

Evidently, he was the only one on the team who seemed to notice my run in with Sam and the rugby guys. That’s definitely another positive for the day, I didn’t want to have to lose face in front of my teammates.

We then split into some smaller games two-on-two, attackers and defenders, where if the attackers missed a shot on target, or if the defenders made a mistake which lead to a goal, the offending team would run a lap. Somehow as luck would have it, I was paired with Rhys again.

“Just make sure you don’t fall on your ass again, I really don’t want to have to run laps because you’re clumsy” Rhys jabbed at me with a wink and a hearty chuckle.

Both being defenders, we worked quite well together. Up until this point, most of our interactions had been quite limited, and usually kept to matches or practice, but I found that we made a good team. We managed to successfully defend against 8 attacking pairs, getting disgruntled moans and looks from those who had to run laps because of us, until we ended up having to run some laps ourselves.

“Dude, I don’t know why it’s taken us this long to actually get to know each other, we were awesome just then” Rhys stated simply, puffing between each phrase as we were mid-lap.

“Yeah we sure gave them a run for their money out there,” I replied.

“You usually duck of pretty quick after practice and matches, you should join us out some time after a match, I think most of the guys just know you as pretty quiet,” he followed up.

That was kind of surprising. I wasn’t that quiet, but I guess I didn’t really know much of the team that well. I knew everybody’s name of course, but it was mostly just limited to soccer stuff. Even then, with Rhys, he played right fullback, compared to my position of left fullback, but out positions were separated by the centre fullback, Dan, so we didn’t usually directly get to make plays together during matches.

“Yeah I’ll have to join you guys sometime” I said tentatively, in a non-committal answer.

“Aww c’mon man, I’ve heard that from you before, people like you man, they just don’t get much of a chance to get to know you that well since you always keep to yourself except when we’re on the field.” Rhys stated matter-of-factly.

His observation surprised me. I thought I had been quite good at generally being friendly among everyone, especially within the team, but what he said rang true. It wasn’t that I didn’t like to participate, I did. I got really into it with matches as well, I loved playing and being competitive, and I was by no means quiet on the field. Yet, he was right. I didn’t really give many of them the opportunity to be mates beyond soccer practice – that was something I’d strive to change this year I guess. Better late than never.

“You know what man, you’re right,” I said to a somewhat surprised looking Rhys. I think he’d expected a gentle brush-off or denial that he’d just called me out on.

“If I can get on with them as well as we just got on for the last 30 minutes, then I’ll have to make sure I make more of an effort.” I explained.

“Awesome man, I’m keen for it!” he said excitedly.

After we got back from our last set of laps, practice was over. Our coach, Henry called Rhys and myself out to stay while he dismissed the rest of the team. Henry was new to coaching the team last year and he was a definite improvement from our previous coach who was, to put it simply, old, fat, and out of touch. In comparison Henry was energetic, fit and sharp. He doubled as a personal trainer and was in his early twenties. Henry bucked the trend of being called ‘Coach’ or ‘Mr’ as a title. He said it was too weird hearing us call him ‘Mr’ when he was only a few years older than some of us. He was passionate and motivated and was exactly what we needed as a team to do well this year. It didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes either, and not that I have a type, but if I did, it sure would have been quite similar to Henry.

“Rhys, Nick, you guys did great out there. More than once you had people running multiple laps. Great communication and effort for both of you. How come I haven’t seen that kind of energy translate in game between you two yet?” He queried with his arms crossed.

“We were thinking the same thing. When we ran our laps, we brought it up and mentioned that we’d have to get the camaraderie continuing on and off the pitch, because we really clicked when we teamed up.” Rhys detailed.

Henry nodded appreciatively, arms still crossed and seemed to be thinking hard.

“We’re going to have to go out with the team for a social night sometime soon to kick off the season – even Nick said he’d be in.” Rhys said, throwing me under the bus while looking to Henry.

“I think that’s a great idea.” Henry started.

“That’s exactly the kind of initiative I look for in a team Captain. I’m glad you’re already living up to my expectations Rhys.” Henry said in a semi-joking manner but had a friendly smile on his face.

“Are you serious?” Rhys all but yelled.

“Yeah man, congratulations. You deserve it,” Henry laughed at Rhys’ reaction.

“But don’t think for a second this means you’re in charge, I’m putting Nick here as the Assistant Captain to keep you in line, and both of you don’t really have shit on me. I still call all the shots – you hear me?” he said smirking at us.

That smirk really had an effect of me. Attractive, friendly, and funny. All positives in my book – but alas, coaches were off limits.

“Hahaha you got it coach” I smiled back, with Rhys whooping with delight next to me.

“Ahhh man, don’t call me that it makes me feel old” Henry balked.

“But well done to both of you. I know you won’t let me down! I was going to save this information to tell the team as whole, but I wanted to let you know today after how well you did together in the drills this afternoon. I think it may be the first time in school history that the team has had two fullbacks be Assistant Captain and Captain. Ah well – if the shoe fits! We’ll announce it to the team at the start of next training so don’t let slip before then. Alright off you run, see you next practice.” Henry finished.

Rhys cheered in excitement as he made his way towards his belongings on the side of the field.

“Oh, and Nick,” Henry said, causing me to turn and face him again.

“Make sure you don’t make a habit of turning up late to practice, I won’t take any excuses, and expect my Captains to lead by example. And you should go along to whatever Rhys is planning, he’s a good guy, so no weaselling out of this, I know you tend to avoid these things.” he admonished.

I was surprised that he had noticed that. I mean sure, I did miss half a practice so that was probably quite obvious, but he was astute enough after coaching us for a year that I tended to keep to myself a bit.

“Sure thing Henry, I’ll give in to your demands to hand over my social life to old mate over there” I ribbed as I pointed over my shoulder to an excitable Rhys who was still ‘whoop-ing’ in the distance and skipping along childishly.

Henry’s eyes crinkled as he wickedly grinned.

“Oh and try not to give the rugby team such a show next time you get changed.” he nonchalantly dropped.

I’m sure I immediately turned a vibrant shade of red, at the idea of Henry also seeing my embarrassing display before practice. I turned to hastily make my exit, much to my chagrin, and heard him chuckling light-heartedly after me. How could I have ever made the mistake of thinking he was unobservant. Not only was he all but commanding me to take his advice with regards to my social life, but he knew me well enough to know that I could back out. That and the fact that he saw my half naked making a fool of myself didn’t help. I couldn’t stomach how mortifying this all felt, but obviously he meant it in a joking way, so there was no harm there. I also slightly enjoyed the attention he paid me. What was wrong with me? Shows you how much attention I clearly get on the daily.

Pushing those thoughts from my mind, I jogged to get my bag and belongings and head home. I walked with Rhys back to my car, where Sam was waiting by the passenger door. I decided to begin putting in more effort with other people now, and offered to give Rhys a lift home, which he gladly accepted. Sam was already waiting by my car clearly wanting to use my chauffer service for a lift home.

We all piled into the car and made our way first to Rhys’ house. It turns out that Sam and Rhys had a few classes together so were already on friendly terms, and without much hesitation turned the conversation into a blow-by-blow of me getting dropped by the rugby ball at the start of practice. I tried my best not to roll my eyes or stay angry too long, but it was all too good-natured for me to be upset. The fact that Rhys has refrained from even mentioning it to anyone on the team was testament to his genuine character.

I dropped Rhys at his place and made my way round to Sam’s explaining that I had too much homework to catch up on for Maths, but if he was free later in the week we could hang out.

I stopped by the newsagents quickly to grab some snacks because I knew we didn’t have too many at home and pulled up to the house only to find Stephanie’s car in the driveway. I parked on the street wondering what Sam had driven over for. We said goodbye to him not a few minutes earlier, maybe he had forgotten something in my car?

I let myself through the front door, dropped by bag and made my way into the kitchen.

I yelled out to the house generally;

“Mum – is Sam here?”

“We’re in here,” came the reply, from the living room.

I sauntered in to find Mum and Stephanie sitting opposite each other, each with cups of tea. Mum wasn’t normally home by the time school finished, but on the odd occasions when she had her early shift, it wasn’t too uncommon for her to have guests over. Her and Stephanie did get along. I mean they had to with how tight Sam and I were as kids.

Yet seeing Stephanie was more awkward than usual as the last ‘run-in’ we had ended somewhat awkwardly.

“How was practice?” Mum asked conversationally.

“Yeah it was good. I’m going to be Assistant Captain for the team,” I said reservedly, still slightly unsure about Stephanie’s presence even though Sam’s conversation from lunch time cleared up the miscommunication.

“That’s great, congratulations,” she said.

“Steph just popped in a minute ago, actually,” Mum started, as she turned to Steph.

“We didn’t get around to why you were here though – not that I mind of course,” Mum said, almost like a question.

“Actually, I’m here about Nick,” Steph began, and my heart picked up the pace as we locked eyes.

I saw my Mum’s eyes flick back towards me.

“I just wanted to make sure there was no communication problems around what happened yesterday.” Steph stated.

“Sam texted me today letting me know that he had explained everything to you, and that you understood my response at the time Nick,” She explained.

Oh no. This wasn’t happening. Not now. Not again.

“Oh no it’s fine, there’s no problem” I stuttered out quickly, trying to brush everything aside. I really did not need to relive this now.

“What do you mean, ‘what happened yesterday’?” Mum asked curiously, her eyes passing between Steph and me suspiciously.

“Ahh sorry Gina, I may have had a bit of a lapse in judgement yesterday” Steph continued.

I did not like where this was going. Where was Sam? I thought he explained this. He messaged her saying things were fine right?

“I just wanted to let Nick know that there are obviously no hard feelings, and I just wanted to let him know that of course he’s always welcome at our place. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward or upset at all Nick, I’m sorry.” Steph said.

I saw the confusion cross my Mum’s face as she looked between Steph and myself.

I couldn’t handle this right now. My heart was beating a mile a minute. My hands were instantly clammy, all friendly thoughts and feelings after practice were immediately gone and replace with fear and dread. I tried to steady myself as my legs and body began shaking.

“Why would he feel awkward at your place?” Mum enquired, now concerned.

My breathing picked up the pace, I blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears down and somehow subliminally tell Steph to stop talking.

“Well I didn’t want Nick to feel like I was awkward about him being gay.” Steph put simply.

I’m sure my face betrayed the shock, confusion, and dread on my face. The sense of Déjà vu hit me like it was yesterday all over again. The same feeling of despair, tightness and fear all built up inside me. I could feel it bubbling up inside me as I couldn’t look either of them in the eye. My breathing hitched as I felt bile move up my stomach to my throat. I was going to be sick. I was shaking and couldn’t stop. I was sweating everywhere on my body. My ears had this faint ringing sound which was increasing with every passing second. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t afford to lose my Mum over this. Everything I had done up until this point had been for nothing. This was it. Everything was going to go to shit and my life would be turned upside down. I couldn’t handle it. My heart was practically bursting out of my chest. The ringing had grown from faint and distant to overwhelming. My head was throbbing. Each blink was a huge effort like they were trying to lift the iron curtains which were my eyelids. My vision slowly started closing in like a never-ending tunnel. My lungs tightened like a vice-grip, where I was being compressed from all sides at once, by a series on invisible walls. I tried to breathe deeper, but my rattling gasps couldn’t get enough oxygen in. I instantly felt extremely dizzy, tired and overwhelmed by everything. I tried to take a final breath as my vision went completely black, and the last thing I remember was the floor rushing up to meet me.