Wait, In My Next Life I'm WHAT?!? - 1. Wait, In My Next Life I'm a LITTLE GIRL!?!

Today has been So Much FUN! Any more fun and I might have to start a kickstarter for bail money. Seriously, why can't some people just fuck off and take their baggage with them. And why is it always me people unload their frustrations on.

Walking down the street, I'm quietly fuming, trying my best not to let anyone see just how angry I am.

No, seriously, with all my heart, fuck today specifically!

First I wake up late because my alarm didn't go off, because my phone died. Note to self, get a new charge cord. Then I find out my roommate "borrowed" my car, because he really needed to go get "groceries". Despite having totaled his car and having his licence revoked. Hope he knows I'm flushing his weed stash when I get home. Then I have to scrounge up money for bus fare, and guess what's Not in my wallet. No cash, no bus.

Looking at the traffic congested road I give myself a sarcastic chuckle thinking I might get home sooner today Because I'm walking.

So by the time I actually get to work I find out several people are out sick and just my luck I get to work till's. And the people waiting for their checkout are not happy. So they let me know how impressed they are with how the store deals with customers.

Normaly working at a grocery store is fine, discounted groceries, but having to deal with angry people, and their expired coupons, makes for a long day.

After a few hours of this special hell on earth, I finally get to go on break, where I realize I didn't bring lunch with me in my panic to get here on time. So twenty minutes of self - deprecating reflection later and back to hell on an empty stomach.

Oh, Gods No, I just remembered that I made chicken parm and penne to take with me today! It had better still be in the fridge or I might just have to kill my roommate. Knowing Ryan "the Stone" Ried, it's probably already gone. And this is why you don't room with a massive stoner. He spends more on weed than food.

End the workday with a lecture on proper employee behavior and back to the adventure of walking across the city for home. All with no verbal complaint out of me.

Passing a car wash, I can't help but think that my boss is signaling me out as the cause of most of these problems, when I'm barely even involved.

But wait, I hear a little inner voice cry, why do I let everyone walk all over me. Elementary my dear inner critic, cause any potential conflict makes me so massively uncomfortable I agree to anything to make it go away.

Stoping in front of a cross walk, I let out a massive sigh of frustration. How am I so timid? I'm a big tall guy who could crush most people by falling on them and I can't maintain basic eye contact? This is ridiculous and I've got to do something about it.

Looking at the vehicles zooming by, I make up my mind. "I'm almost thirty, time to stop acting like a scared kid."

The cross light signals to walk and as I begin crossing, I make a small wish, deep in my heart. Please give me a chance to change, even if it's for a little while.

Then all I can hear is a car horn before the world around me fades away, bathed in red and pain.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Tossing around in my bed, slowly waking up, all I can think is how much that dream sucked. Please don't let today suck. I promise to be more assertive if only today goes well, so please unnamed lords of murphy, DON'T LET TODAY SUCK.

Sitting up, I rub my eyes with the back of my hand, casually looking around for some jeans to put on that I tend to leave on the floor. Only this isn't my room. In fact I doubt this room belongs in any city in an industrial area. There's a candle on a nightstand dresser, no electrical fixtures in sight, and the walls and floor look like they were made without power tools. Or a sander.

Then I see some kid sitting on a bed across from me, frozen in place, looking like she just got up too. She looks like she's probably five, and has long honey brown hair with dandelion yellow eyes. She's kinda thin and frail looking, but in a antique china doll way. The nightgown she's wearing would fit right in on little house on the prairie. As I start to ask her whats going on, i realise she's making all the same moves I do.

Then I notice its just a mirror, and I just start screaming.