A Night with no Stars - 7. Pumped Up Kicks

Maks was woken up by the noises coming from his living room, surprising him once again, because he was still used to silence. He got up reluctantly and left his bedroom half asleep. He vaguely remembered how angry he was when he was watching Aleks with Wiki last night, but now this resentment returned in full force. He saw Aleks leaning over the table telling some story animatedly and Wiki who apparently couldn’t stop giggling and felt as if he was filled from head to toe with some treacherous, overwhelming emotion that made him want to clench his fists, plunge into the living room and drag him or her out of there, he just wasn’t sure which one of them more.

He didn’t do that though, instead he just went inside and muttered a ‘good morning’ under his breath. Aleks looked up and grinned when he saw him. Wiki snickered and Aleks shot her a sullen glance.

“Ok, I’m going.” He rolled his eyes, taking the last sip of his coffee and getting up reluctantly.

“Maks, your friend talks a lot,” Wiki said, even though she didn’t seem to mind. “He's been trying to bring himself to go take a shower for the last hour. He’s already told me his whole life story,” she added when Aleks poured coffee from the pot to another cup and gave it to Maks along with the significant glance when he passed him in the door. Maks had no idea what that look was supposed to mean.

He sat at the table, trying to convince himself that he was pissed at Wiki because of last night, but he knew it was more because of her last comment. He’s told her his whole life story, seriously? Maks knew it was ridiculous, but he was actually hurt that most of the time they’ve spent together Aleks’s been bending over backwards like a fucking acrobat just to avoid his questions, and now he was revealing things to his sister, who he’s met yesterday? He was pissed and it wasn’t that he was jealous of Wiktoria, that would be absurd, but it couldn’t be that Aleks liked her more than him, right?

On the other hand… he knew Aleks had a big mouth and was talking way too much. Maybe they’ve just hit it off. That would actually make sense, they were closer in age after all. They were both kids. That was a weird thought. He shook his head to get rid of it.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly. He could see she was embarrassed by the way her eyes were fixing on everything but him.

“Better now,” she murmured, staring vacantly at a jar of jam. Maks wanted to wince, but he held himself back. He didn’t know how to approach this and not scare or piss her off, but make her open up. He and Wiktoria have never really talked and Maks just realized that he didn’t know her very well. The age difference was too big. When he was leaving to England, she was fourteen and essentially a child, then he came back and all of the sudden she was a teenager. And he knew what some teenagers were like, but he had Wiki eternally labeled as his little sister and it wouldn’t even cross his mind that she could be one of them.

“Listen,” he started, deciding that she was right and it was much easier when they weren’t looking at each other. “How long are you doing this? Taking these… stuff?” he asked awkwardly. Wiki’s head jerked.

“What? Maks, no,” she reassured him quickly. “That was the first time, first and last, cause it was awful,” he added with conviction, scowling. “I… I won’t try again, I…”

“First and last time, are you sure?” Maks emphasized, this time leaning in to look her straight in the eyes. “You swear?”

“I swear,” he mumbled with resignation. Maks exhaled loudly.

“Why would you even do that?” he asked after a short silence, frowning, because he really couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“I just wanted to try,” she said half-heartedly, shrugging. “Everyone does it…”

“You’re not ‘everyone’,” he snapped, because that was a really dumb reason.

“You sound like mom.” Wiki shot him a knowing look and Maks realized that shit, he kind of did. He sighed, attempting to collect himself.

“I know. I’ll try not to,” he promised, pulling a face and deliberating for a long moment. This one was going to be harder. “You shouldn’t even hang out with people like that. Do you know what they…” he broke off, cause he doubted she knew what they’ve been doing besides street racing.

“Now you’ve just overreacting,” she scoffed. “They’re normal people, they just have their own circles…” Maks barked a short, dry laugh. What a pleasant euphemism.

“Ok,” he agreed for her sake, because he couldn’t actually tell her what her friends were dabbling in after-hours. She would ask how he knew and he would have to turn on Aleks. Besides, the less she knew, the better for her.

Shit, he didn’t even realized that he started to quote him mindlessly.

“Well, regardless. You’re still too young for all of it. If you’re starting to try these things now, at sixteen, what do you think comes later…”

“Not necessarily,” she objected self-assuredly. “Aleks said that it’s a natural curiosity that needs to be sated, so maybe it’s a good thing that I’ve tried now and decided that it’s not for me…”

“Ok, first things first.” Maks raised his hand to cut her off. “Don’t listen to Aleks. Most of the time Aleks is full of shit. Just because Aleks says so doesn’t make it true.” Wiki was staring at him for a moment before she snickered.

“Asshole,” he muttered with amusement. “Where did you even find him, huh?” Maks shook his head firmly.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he said, smiling secretly. Of course it only piqued her curiosity.

“Tell me,” she demanded, leaning over the table.

“It was… one of these crazy coincidences that we don’t believe exist until they happen,” he explained enigmatically. Wiki seemed disappointed when it became obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more.

“I just… I would never expect to see you with someone like… him,” she wrinkled her nose, unsure what she really meant. Maks snorted, cause it didn’t make much more sense to him either.

“I’m just… changing my habits,” he said casually, admitting it out loud for the first time. And he really did. He felt like he was becoming a completely different Maks. And it was Aleks that did that to him. He didn’t know whether at the end of the day it’s gonna be a good thing or not, but right now he mostly just felt alive. For the first time in a long while he believed that tomorrow was going to be exciting. It was… eye-opening.

“Yeah, you are,” Wiki agreed in awe. “Street-racing, really? It’s like you were abducted by aliens,” she laughed. “But it’s good,” she added quickly. “You know, up until now I thought you were a complete drag. Last night I’ve changed my mind,” she said without beating around the bush or a trace of remorse.

“Gee, thanks,” Maks scowled and was about to turn it all into a joke, but suddenly changed his mind and got serious again. “How do you think it would end if I wasn’t there last night? You were completely out of it. Do you think that dickhead would look after you? Escort you home?” he snorted, because doubted it himself. Wiki bit her lip hesitantly.

“Adrian?” She shrugged. “Probably not. I would just wait until I felt better. And then stayed the night at one of my friends…”

“Are you even real?” And now he was getting pissed again. “A sixteen-year-old girl wandering around Warsaw by herself, high, at night? Do you have any idea what could have happened? Do you even think at all?” He didn’t realized when he started to raise his voice and sound exactly like a parent would. Wiki pulled a face.

“Ok, ok,” she mumbled dismissively. “I know it wasn’t the smartest thing to do. It’s just… I would be fine, it wouldn't be the first time I was out on my own. I know this city inside out. And I don’t need a babysitter, it’s not that when I go out with Adrian then he needs to hold my hand the whole time…”

“If he was a gentleman, he should, especially when you are in a condition you were last night,” Maks pointed out, cutting her off. “But that guy is definitely not a gentleman. Where have you even met him?” he asked incredulously. She opened her mouth to answer, but he didn’t let her. “But nothing is… happening… between you and him, is it?” he added with apprehension.

“Well, after last night definitely not anymore,” she said grumpily. Maks closed his eyes and counted to ten to keep himself in check.

“Jesus, Wiki…”

“What?” she snapped. “I’ve met him and we’ve started seeing each other. People do that, Maks, we can’t all date one girl for the last ten years…”

“Eight,” he corrected her mechanically.

“Whatever,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “And that he turned out to be a dick… well, it happens, time to move on…”

“I can’t believe you’re so blasé about it. You should stay away from guys like him, don’t you have any self-preservation instinct?” he hissed angrily.

“So maybe I don’t! Stop yelling at me!” she yelled herself. “What, you would like to keep me sheltered and away from any possible harm? Just as mom did to you?” she sneered. Maks open his mouth to snap back, but closed it, because it was a surprisingly good point. He knew she was right, he has grew up in a bubble and that’s why now, at the age of twenty four, he knew nothing about real life. So of course he didn’t want the same for her, but still… “Maybe you’re not aware of that, but I have a brain on my own and I can use it to decide whether someone is worth my attention or not, but in order to do that I need to go out there and try first, am I not?”

“I would just be happy if that someone wasn’t an obvious outlaw,” Maks drawled out.

“You’re just like them, you know?” Wiki said suddenly, crossing her arms and sounding almost disappointed. “You’re all so judgy! If someone is not an upper class, high society, privileged prep boy then he can't possibly be worthy. People are more than just the size of their wallet, you know?”

“That's not what I'm saying,” Maks objected heatedly. Being compared to their parents didn’t sit well with him. “Don't put words into my mouth, you know I'm not the kind of person that considers someone's social status the only indication of their worth. I'm just saying that I would prefer if you chose the ones that earn an honest living…”

“Being a hooligan is not the same as being a criminal,” she said firmly and Maks sighed, because he didn’t think that, but he had to admit that the more of them he met, the more he thought so. “And just so you know, Adrian isn't. He's actually from this side of the river. Unlike Aleks, who's from the projects and that’s like… the worst of it all. But you're still friends with him, which makes you a hypocrite. So? Would Aleks be a good catch or is he too much of a low-life as well?” she asked derisively. Maks wasn’t sure whether she was just trying to prove her point or was that supposed to be a valid question.

“No, Aleks wouldn’t be any more of a good catch,” he growled, cause either way the answer was the same. Also, he felt sick when he thought about Aleks and his sister together in any sense. Wiki raised her chin haughtily.

“That’s a shame, cause neither me nor Aleks need your blessing,” she snarled. Maks blinked, wondering if it was still all hypothetical. Sure, he could see that Aleks caught her eye and Aleks seemed to like her as well, but talking about it openly made it much more real. He leaned in.

“Wiktoria, listen,” he said quietly, using her full name for the first time in ages. “I’m not kidding and I’m not saying this out of spite. Leave Aleks alone. He’s not a guy for you. You don’t know him, but I do and he’s not… who you think he is.” Yeah, knowing was probably a strong word.

“How do you know what I think?” Wiki asked defiantly.

“Look, I know you like him and that he’s fun. I like him and think he’s fun too,” he emphasized. “But just trust me this once, ok? It’s a bad idea.” Wiki seemed a little thrown that the conversation took such a serious turn, cause she frowned and clearly didn’t know what to say.

“But why?” she asked at least. “Why would you say that? He’s not like Adrian, I mean… he stood up for me and he was nice. I thought he was actually one of those good guys, so why would you… Is it because you’re friends with him?” Maks rolled his eyes.

“It’s got nothing do to with whether we’re friends or not. Just trust me, ok?”

“But how can I just trust you when you’re not…” she started defiantly.

“Wiki,” Maks cut her objection off firmly. “That’s enough. You’re fucking sixteen, so just… don’t go to illegal races, don’t take any drugs that are not prescribed by the pharmacist and stay away from shady guys. I don’t wanna lecture you, but it will be much better for you if you find yourself a normal boyfriend, not someone… someone like Aleks. He’s trouble, ok?” The moment he said that, he suddenly got haunted by thousand worse-care scenarios of what could have happened if Aleks had a girlfriend and if that girlfriend was Wiki. After all these… these people were not like them and lived by a completely different set of rules. They had no mercy and were capable of everything. That was not something he wanted his little sister to deal with.

It was mainly about that. He was trying to ignore the other reason for his anxiety, which was the fact that if Aleks and Wiki started seeing each other, he would focus on her and Maks wanted him to focus on him. It was childish and awful, but he just wasn’t ready to share Aleks, especially with someone he knew. Especially with his little sister. Aleks was his discovery, his private rush of adrenaline, no one else’s.

All of these thoughts must have reflected on his face, because Wiki seemed to understand that he was serious after watching him carefully for a long moment. She might not know why, but she knew it wasn’t some game, so she gave up further arguing.

“Listen, Maks… I was going to ask you,” she started uncertainly, as if she wasn’t sure if she should say anything at all. “Would you mind if I…”

“If you what?” he urged her, wanting to roll his eyes when she just bit her lip.

“If I stayed here for a while?” she blurted hopefully. “Like here… at your place. Not for long, but just… I don’t know, maybe till the end of the week?” Maks closed his eyes. What was it about kids treating his apartment like a hotel? Did someone hanged the sign on the door saying that everyone was invited to stay? He doubted it, he didn’t even have a fucking ‘welcome’ doormat. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Why?” he asked resigned. Wiki seemed embarrassed for a moment, but got over it quickly.

“And how long you would survive with mom and dad under the same roof?” she asked challengingly. Shit. He couldn’t even argue with that, after all he was the one she was exchanging significant, miserable looks with every time their parents made another contest who was the bigger fuck up.

“Wiki, I’m not sure…” he started uneasily, desperately trying to come up with some plausible excuse. “I mean, I know they’re not really…”

“Ah, so you’re not going to help me,” she said drily, trying not to appear disappointed. “It’s ok, it’s not like I’ve expected you to care…”

“No, it’s not that,” he protested, thinking frantically. Shit, he couldn’t blow her off, cause when he just got back from England, back when they still weren’t talking very often, he assured her awkwardly that if she needed anything she could always count on him and that was the first thing she’s ever asked of him, so he really couldn’t. Especially with the company she’s been keeping lately, this way he could look after her, cause he knew that their parents couldn’t see beyond the end of their own noses.

On the other hand, if she stayed here even for a few days, she and Aleks would spend time together and probably get closer and… Maks didn’t even want to know how that one would end.

“If you can convince mom and dad, then ok,” he decided, sighing internally and wondering how it was possible that his private seclusion was now going to get rampaged by two schoolkids.

“I’m sure they’re gonna be fine with it, why would they mind me staying at your place?” she asked rhetorically. “Besides, I’ll be closer to school and won’t have to take a train,” she added smugly, looking excited. “Listen… thanks,” she said shyly and Maks couldn’t not smile in reply. He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, just one more thing. It’s gonna be a little crowded, cause Aleks is staying here too, so…” He tried to quickly make up some unsuspicious excuse why Aleks would stay in his apartment, but he wasn’t sure one even existed. Wiki blinked.

“Aleks?” she echoed, frowning. “He lives here?” she asked disbelievingly.

“No, of course not,” Maks scoffed, as if the mere idea was ridiculous, though based on the last few days maybe it actually wasn’t. “He just needs to stay here for a few days.” He shrugged, pretending it was completely normal.

“But why?” Wiki really didn’t know when to drop the subject. “Doesn’t he have his own place?”

“And can you not pry or do you have to know everything?” he snapped. “It’s his business. It definitely isn’t yours.”

“Does he have some issues with his family or something?” Wiki gulped, looking concerned and Maks just made a vague gesture between nodding and shrugging. It turned out to be a good strategy, because she stopped drilling him. “Sorry, I didn’t want to butt in. And I don’t mind that Aleks’s gonna be here,” she added quickly. Maks scowled. Yeah, he had no doubts she didn’t.

“What are you whispering about?” Aleks joined the conversation, walking through the room with a towel over his shoulder. Little shit was acting as if he owned the place.

“We’re going to live together,” Wiki announced cheerfully. Aleks raised his eyebrows.

“Wow. That was fast. Don’t you feel like we’ve skipped some vital steps here?” he asked dumbly. Wiki giggled and Maks rolled his eyes.

“What she meant is that you’re both…” he emphasized. “…going to stay here for now.”

“Oh. Ok.” Aleks shrugged, but Maks felt like his enthusiasm dampened after this. Maybe he was afraid that she was going to find out something she shouldn’t? That was more likely than the other explanation, that just like Maks he would prefer them to be alone and not have some outsider hanging over their heads. He wasn’t sure when he started to think of Aleks as someone familiar, when he didn’t even feel close with his own sister.

“I mean you both still need to go to school and…” Maks hesitated, trying to step into the role of the responsible one, but not really feeling committed to it. “And neither of you actually went there today, so I feel like I should…”

“But we were hangovered,” Wiki explained half-heartedly.

“Speak for yourself,” Aleks scoffed.

“You were not both hangovered,” Maks picked up, narrowing his eyes at Aleks. “And even if you were, that's not a reason to…”

“Maks,” Aleks cut him off calmly, so Maks glanced at him quizzically. “You really suck at this,” he informed him callously. Wiki burst into laughter. “And we’re not babies anymore, we don’t need to have our dippers changed. Do we?” He glanced at Wiki, who nodded instantly.

“We don’t,” she concurred. “So… what are we doing?” she asked hopefully.

“You were hangovered literally a minute ago,” Maks pointed out. “Besides, you’ve done enough.”

“I’m not saying right now, it’s the middle of the day,” she assured him reasonably. “But later tonight…” She looked expectantly at Aleks.

“I’m listening,” he perked up. Maks was torn, feeling like suddenly he was in constant comparison with his little sister and was coming out of this contest very boring and dull. Still, he needed to stay true to himself and, more importantly, keep his sister in just moderate sobriety, so he glared at Aleks, who smiled apologetically, as if he was saying ‘oops’. “Yeah, Maks is right,” he changed his tune immediately, resting his chin on his hands on the table, as if he wanted to emphasize that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Let’s stay here and open this Jack Daniels bottle that you’ve probably been keeping in that cabinet for years,” he suggested, smiling at Maks who didn’t smile back. Aleks frowned, wondering what was his problem this time. “What I meant is… let’s have one glass and sip it throughout the entire day?” he added tentatively. Maks rolled his eyes and stood up. Damn Aleks was useless as always.

“Is anyone hungry?” he asked, then went to the kitchen without waiting for an answer to make some breakfast and feed the children. Aleks joined him after a moment and started to wash the coffee cups.

“Don’t pout,” he said flat-out.

“I'm not pouting,” Maks replied immediately. “It’s just… could you not encourage her every few minutes to misbehave?”

“I was just trying to be nice. And that’s the only way I know how,” he shrugged disarmingly. Maks started to smile, but held back.

“Yeah, I know, so don’t be surprised that I don’t like that your mere presence is stirring her up,” he said gloomily, chopping the onions vigorously. “If that’s how it’s going to be then I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea for you both to be stuck on this fifty square meters,” he muttered and Aleks suddenly went still.

“You know, if it will make you sleep better, then I can stay somewhere else, no problem,” he said calmly, but a little rigidly, trying to pretend that he wasn’t hurt. Maks looked at him abruptly.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he assured him quickly. “Come on, you don’t have to… go or anything.” He was curious if his panic could be seen on his face or heard in his voice. He hoped not, because for a moment he really was afraid that Aleks was going to leave and deep inside he was… excited… about these next few days. Hopefully few peaceful days, because so far there were lots of things that could be said about Aleks, but ‘peaceful’ was not one of them.

Aleks frowned a little disbelievingly, but eventually shrugged, deciding that if Maks didn’t mind his presence then he definitely wasn’t going to argue.

“Sorry, I didn’t want it to sound as if… as if you weren’t welcome or something. You are. You’re very welcome,” Maks explained awkwardly, digging himself even deeper. He felt his face flushing. Just what he needed. “I’m just… I’m just worried that…”

“Maks,” Aleks cut him off in a lenient tone. Maks obediently fell silent, suddenly realizing that he really liked the way Aleks was saying his name. He was always doing it when he was tired of his melodrama, he was just cutting him off and saying his name just like that, like you do when you’re addressing someone very dear to you. “Your sister was literally smoking crack yesterday, do you really think that by today you’re going to turn her into a nun?” he asked reasonably. “Look, I know that you’ve panicked a little, but this is the worst possible approach. Help her see that doing drugs is bad, but don’t go overboard, because it’s ok for her to have a drink, especially at home with her brother,” he emphasized and Maks had to admit that what he was saying made sense. Even though he didn’t really feel like agreeing with him out loud.

“She’s still underage,” he persisted, set on ignoring his actually not bad advice. Aleks rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, cause sixteen-year-olds are known for abhorring alcohol,” he mocked.

“I wasn’t drinking when I was sixteen,” Maks objected instantly and Aleks smirked.

“Why am I not surprised?” he grinned. “I was when I was twelve and I turned out fine, do you know why?” he asked rhetorically. “Because I’m not dumb. And neither is Wiki.” Maks looked at him skeptically and Aleks raised his finger. “Not a word,” he warned. Maks snickered.

“Yeah, maybe something is happening under this perfectly styled hair,” he surrendered.

“Aw, you think my hair is perfect?” Aleks brightened up, raising a spoon he was just drying and vainly admiring his reflection in it.

“I take it back,” Maks said flatly. They've stayed silent for a moment. “I’ll try not to be too fussy when it comes to her. And not to restrict her. Too much,” Maks brought the previous topic back. Aleks smiled.

“I can guarantee that it wouldn’t work even if you did.” That didn’t reassure Maks at all. “You know what teenagers are like,” Aleks added flippantly. Maks snickered loudly. “But she’s cool, she shouldn’t be too hard to bear. Besides, we can always get her drunk and…” he broke off seeing Maks’s stare and backed off immediately. “Or we can’t. Sorry. Bad plan.”

Maks knew he should get mad, but he couldn’t bring himself to it, so he laughed instead.

“She’s only staying till Saturday, you know,” he started in a conversional tone. “Just stay longer,” he suggested innocently, trying to sound more like he didn’t mind and less like he wanted him to. Aleks dropped his head, but Maks could still see the enormous smile on his face.

“Ok,” he whispered, not looking up.

So maybe Aleks didn’t like Wiki better than him after all. After realizing it Maks felt a sudden sense of accomplishment, but at the same time a stab of concern. Why did he feel that where him and Aleks were, there was just no room for anyone else?

***           

Maks rolled over on the uncomfortable mattress. He’s spent a long time deliberating whether it would be more awkward to sleep with Wiktoria or with Aleks and finally decided that both of these options were mortifying. The sun was already rising, he rolled back and fixed his stare on Wiki laying spread out across his bed. Aleks was sleeping on his couch. By now even Maks had to admit that the couch was his.

These last few days had been fun. Well, maybe ‘fun’ wasn’t the most fitting term, but it… haven’t been as bad as he was expecting. They were an odd team; Aleks and Wiki got along great, even though he was mostly ignoring her not very subtle attempts at flirting. He probably knew Maks wouldn’t like it and didn’t want to end up on his black list. He and Aleks were mostly exchanging significant looks and rolling their eyes to each other at Wiktoria’s constant nagging to do something. He used to think of Aleks as an embodiment of chaos, but now that they were just staying in, eating popcorn, watching sitcoms and exchanging lavatory jokes, he turned out not to be that bad. Maks was kind of expecting to miss the adrenaline rush, but in reality he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t even better. Cause Aleks wasn’t such a walking disaster when he wasn't fooling around or trying to prove something. For example, sometimes he stretched out on his couch with textbooks and notes and was marking out specific paragraphs with colored highlighter pens. It was so not him that Maks was barely able to avert his eyes. Wiki was usually watching some stupid TV show at the time, so Maks was opening his laptop and preparing for the second part of the interview, looking up involuntarily every once in a while, cause Aleks looked freaking funny while he was trying to concentrate. He was frowning really hard and chewing his lower lip, and let’s not forget about colored highlighter pens. He was so not a type of student that used colored highlighter pens. He was a type of student that had one notebook for all subjects.

He felt like a creep when Wiki was here, so by Saturday he was both relieved and full of guilt. She was finally going home today, and after she’s gone Maks will be able to stare at Aleks scot-free during a revision of market-based mechanisms that he’s already managed to forget since Cambridge. Studying was just easier while staring at Aleks, who was reviewing traits of various chordate sub-species, and not worrying about his bratty little sister interrupting at any moment. When Aleks was concentrated, there was even something kind of soothing about him.

Suddenly he heard some noise and rolled his eyes, cause he still couldn’t understand why Aleks had to wake up so early. Shouldn’t all teenagers sleep in? Wiki at any rate was looking like she was just entering her REM sleep. He closed his eyes, listening to Aleks roaming around the living room. Maks had to admit that he was quiet as a mouse. He was going to get up so Aleks didn’t have to tiptoe around them, cause at this hour Wiki wouldn’t be awakened even by a nuclear bomb, when suddenly he heard the front door clicking. He frowned, but stayed still until he heard his phone vibrate.

7:14 am. From: Aleks. Hey, I’ve got something to take care of and need to go away for a while. I didn’t want to wake you up. Sorry it’s so out of the blue. I’ve cleaned up the kitchen. I’ll try to get in touch in couple days. Don’t worry too much xx

Right. What was he just thinking about Aleks being soothing? Well, he wasn’t. Didn’t he know that when you tell someone not to worry, they’re automatically starting to do just that?

Jesus, at this rate and with that menace constantly around Maks was going to go grey before he even turned twenty five.