A Night with no Stars - 19. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Aleks felt he was going to lose it any time now. No, he wasn't mad at Maks, it wasn't his fault. It was his own fault, because he'd told him he needed to run just one little errand and then was coming home. That was an hour ago and Maks was getting impatient.

11:02 pm. From: Maks. How long it's going to take?

11:52 pm. From: Maks. Don't forget to buy butter.

Aleks rolled his eyes. Butter. Right.

He looked around suspiciously, but he was surrounded by dead silence. It had only been a few minutes since the guys disappeared inside and he was already on edge. He decided that he was way more useful keeping watch than following them, so he lit up a cigarette and leaned against the wall, breathing the smoke out and listening intently. His phone started to vibrate. He stared at Maks's name on the screen, not having the heart to reject the call but knowing he couldn't answer it either.

11.57 pm. To: Maks. I can't talk right now. I'll call you back.

11:58 pm. From: Maks. Everything's ok? It's already midnight and we’re leaving in the morning.

11:58 pm. From: Maks. That little errand isn't for P by any chance, is it?

11:59 pm. To: Maks. …........

0:00. From: Maks. Fuck, Aleks.

0:00. From: Maks. YOU PROMISED ME.

Aleks felt his throat going dry. Of course he'd promised, he made many promises to many people.

Yeah, but Maks wasn't 'people'.

0:01 pm. To: Maks. I'm sorry. I had to take care of something before we go. Everything's fine. Don't worry.

He typed it out of habit, because he was always assuring Maks that everything was fine and there was no reason to worry. He'd barely hit 'send' when he heard a loud bang echoing through the silence. He jerked and glanced sideways in terror, before he remembered that they were in the middle of nowhere.

Everything's fine. Right.

0:04. From: Maks. Ok, stop fucking texting me and focus on whatever you're doing. We'll talk later.

He was damn right that it wasn't the best time for chatting, even though this 'we'll talk later' sounded ominous.

The first gunshot was followed by another and Aleks felt his heartbeat speeding up. He told himself to chill, pathetically wondering if maybe they were shooting like that, just for fun, even though he knew it was very unlikely. He checked around the entire building. Not a soul around.

It felt as if he was waiting for ages, even if in reality it was less than fifteen minutes. There were no more gunshots. He went back to the main door, staying vigilant, he smoked another cigarette, counted to ten and back a few times and read the last texts from Maks, but they didn't cheer him up all that much, because the upcoming conversation they heralded didn't sound pleasant.

He took a deep breath. They should be out any moment now. He knew that, he'd got every damn minute worked out, along with game plans for every unexpected circumstance. Except for running into someone. There was only one game plan for that and it definitely wasn't authorized by him.

A few seconds later he heard the door opening. Aleks looked up, but instead of the whole crew he only saw one of them.

“What's wrong?” he asked sharply.

“We don't know if we're supposed to clean up,” the thug grunted. They called him Homer. Aleks wasn't sure if it was because he was bald. They were all bald, so they just as well could all be called that. He decided to call them all Homer and see when someone caught on.

He rolled his eyes. “The whole point is to not clean up,” he drawled out impatiently.

Homer still looked uncertain. “You better check,” he said stubbornly.

Aleks nodded his head decisively. He refrained from gulping and took a cautious step towards the door.

“How old are you?” Homer asked out of the blue.

Aleks glanced at him over his shoulder. He had a crooked smile, though he didn't seem to be laughing at him. He seemed nice. Not Wincent level of nice and thank God for that, because Aleks had no wish to fuck him, but still nice. Yet Aleks was wary. “What's in it for you?” he scoffed dubiously.

Homer shrugged. “You look like a kid,” he explained casually.

Aleks ground his teeth. He hadn't shaved in days and definitely didn't look like a kid. He looked at least twenty one, everyone said that. He was just... boyish and these fuckers knew nothing.

He decided not to dignify that with an answer and not only because he didn't feel he had to explain himself. He really didn't want these people to know how old he actually was. He would be pissed if he had to listen to an eighteen-year-old and he was an eighteen-year-old himself.

He bravely went inside and took one look from the doorway. It was a good thing that his mouth started to work regardless of a short circuit in his brain.

“Yeah, leave it as it is,” he said coolly, making sure that all of these idiots wore gloves. “It's not like they can call the cops here. We're good.” He took a few more steps, trying to look as if his stomach wasn't up in the back of his throat. He stopped next to Wincent who was leaning casually against the wall. “Any trouble?” he asked quietly, not specifying what he meant. The amount of gunshots matching the amount of bodies definitely indicated quick and painless.

“Easy-peasy,” Wincent shrugged.

Aleks nodded again, taking one last look. “Excellent. Let's get out of here,” he ordered, because he was getting more nauseous with every second. He closed his eyes and turned towards the door, intending to be the first to leave.

Two bodies. Two random dudes who probably came here late at night to take a deck before everything went for sale in the morning. A small one so the boss wouldn't find out. At least that's what Aleks suspected happened. Two stupid junkies.

He didn't know why it got him so shaken. It wasn't the first time he'd seen a dead body. Then there was Rogal and he hadn't only seen his body, he'd actually seen him getting shot. But that was different, because Rogal was a scumbag who was capable of stabbing anyone in the back, no matter if they were friends or foes. The world was a safer place without him, but this... two harmless idiots? What for?

He hadn't considered himself a bad guy up until now. Sure, what he was doing wasn't exactly commendable, but he tried to tell himself that he wasn't the one creating evil, he was just using the evil that already existed for his own advantage. It would all still happen without his participation. Only it might have happened on a different day while these two junkies weren't here, but it was a random chance, nothing more.

But suddenly it crossed his mind that how was he going to look Maks in the eyes ever again. It was such a stupid thought, but he just realized that there was a guy and that guy thought the sun shone out of Aleks's ass, when in reality Aleks was the kind of person who hung around reading texts while on the other side of the wall two people were being shot.

And what if – the mere thought chilled him to the bone – what if one of those junkies also had their own Maks? What if they both did? And their Makses were going to wake up tomorrow only to discover that their little worlds just ended?

Fuck, don't think about it.

“Hey,” he heard a whisper behind his back and realized that he must have spaced out a bit. When he looked around he saw that the guys were already waiting at the back of the van and he was standing like an idiot at the drivers door, staring at nothing. He fixed his eyes on Wincent who looked at him in concern. “Go to the other side. I'll drive,” he offered.

Aleks swallowed heavily. “I can drive,” he argued.

Wincent looked dubious. “You look like you're about to start hyperventilating,” he remarked, sounding understanding.

Aleks suddenly realized that he had started trembling at some point and instead of better, he was feeling worse, even though in theory the shock should be waning by now. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

Wincent glanced warily at the van before leaning in. “Come on, let's go back to my place. We'll calm you down,” he suggested with barely hidden hope.

Aleks squeezed his eyes, trying to clear his head. One thing Wincent was right about, he wouldn't trust himself behind the wheel right now. “I can't, I need to be... somewhere else,” he whispered lamely, instantly clinging onto this one thought. In just a moment he would be in Maks's arms and everything would be all right. He promised he would be home soon and he needed to at least keep this one promise. They were going to the lake tomorrow. Yeah, the lake sounded good. Everything would be all right at the lake. As soon as he saw Maks, everything would be all right.

Wincent gave him a dirty look, giving up his caring attitude. “Ok. Where should I drop you off?” he asked quietly, grabbing the door handle.

“Ochota,” Aleks said without second thought, walking to the passenger door as if he was in a trance.

Wincent was looking at him blankly when he got into his seat. Aleks couldn't even put two and two together to decipher that look, it was too much for him to handle and he didn't understand why Wincent was glaring at him while he was having a mental breakdown.

Wincent shook his head eventually. “You've got some nerve,” he muttered, fixing his eyes back on the road.

It suddenly hit Aleks what he'd carelessly revealed, but now that they weren't alone anymore he couldn't really defend himself. Though he probably wouldn't know what to say even if he could, because Wincent knew he was going to a guy. Aleks wasn't sure how he knew, but he knew and didn't look too happy about it. He sank into his seat, dreaming of nothing else than to be somewhere far away from here. He was involuntarily relieved that they had company, because while the rest of the guys might not have substantially contributed to the situation, he wouldn't want to stay one-on-one with Wincent right now.

After half an hour or so he started to gather his wits back, so he suddenly jerked awake when they got to Dickens Street.

“Ok, I can get off here,” he said, even if it meant that he was in for a twenty minute walk. It might be good to have a moment to sort out his thoughts. Besides, he didn't want these people to be anywhere near Maks in any way, he didn't want them at his building or even in his neighborhood. He felt the further he could keep them from him, the better.

Wincent pulled off to the bus bay obediently and scoffed when Aleks undid his seat belt.

“That's a useless effort,” he grunted so quietly to not be heard in the back. “You think I don't know where he lives?” he challenged.

Aleks studied him for a moment, hating his poker face. Wincent's expression was carefully blank, not giving him a chance to figure out what was happening in his head. He might have been planning slow, painful torture or thinking that he was hungry and there was no way of telling. He eventually didn't react at all, just turned to the guys in the back with a quick 'later'. They just nodded in response. At least none of them had realized how badly it had affected him. In this company being silent made you a tough guy. Silence was golden.

Wincent drove away, not wasting another glance on him, so he slowly headed towards home. It was already after one pm. It started to rain at some point, so he raised his head, completely unbothered by drops of water running down his face. Sometimes rain was capable of appeasing him better than anything else. It wasn't a real rain though, but just a dull, annoying drizzle that wasn't helping to soothe his nerves at all, so he decided to put his hood on after all. For some reason he remembered that his mom used to say when it was raining it meant the angels were crying. It crossed his mind ludicrously that maybe some angel did get upset that Aleks virtually had blood on his hands now, then told himself to stop being silly and went into the convenience store.

A fat lady at the counter was arguing that she'd paid for something she never bought, waving the receipt in front of the bored clerk's nose. Aleks grabbed butter and dutifully stood in line, fixing his gaze on the alcohol on display behind the clerk's back. Right now he would really love a shot of something strong that would numb him a bit.

The impatient clerk informed her politely not for the first time that he wasn't going to give her money back before looking expectantly at Aleks, who reluctantly took his eyes off a Jack Daniels bottle and passed him the butter wordlessly. The guy gave him a quizzical glance, as if he was asking if that was all. Aleks knew he looked as if he desperately needed a drink, but didn't think it was so clearly visible. He tossed a few coins at the counter, grabbed his butter and left the store.

He was almost at Maks's building when he felt vibration in his pocket.

1:16 am. From: P. Good job.

He let out a little hysterical laugh. Well, at least someone was happy.

He got into the apartment quietly, noticing that the light was on in the living room. He hung up his jacket and looked inside hesitantly.

Maks didn't even glance at him, even though he had to have heard him coming in. “You lied to me. Again ,” he emphasized, his eyes fixed on the screen of his laptop.

“I know. I'm sorry,” Aleks said, not moving from the doorway. ' I know. I'm sorry'. What a cliché. “I brought butter,” he added dumbly.

“I don't give a shit about butter,” Maks snapped, jumping from the table and turning around. He'd been staring at him intently for barely a second before his face softened. “Hey, what happened?” he whispered, coming up to him slowly. He raised his hand to cup his cheek when he was in front of him.

“Nothing,” Aleks muttered out of habit, quickly averting his eyes. It wasn't possible that everything that happened tonight was reflected on his face, right? Did Maks really know him so well already to be able to take one look and know that something was deeply wrong with Aleks? He closed his eyes, focusing on nothing else but the touch of fingers on his skin, and took a shaky breath, feeling like he was going to explode from keeping it all inside. “Could you...” he broke off, mortified. “...hug me?” he finished quietly and immediately felt himself being pulled into an embrace. Aleks spent a few minutes just breathing in and out in Maks's arms, uselessly trying to settle down.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Maks whispered into his ear.

Aleks shook his head slightly with his face still nested in Maks's neck. He more felt that heard his sigh.

“At least... are you ok now?” Maks asked tentatively.

'Ok' was the last word Aleks would use. “Yeah,” he mumbled into his skin, feeling Maks's fingers running through his hair, stroking the back of his head soothingly.

Maks sighed again, not believing him for a second. It was funny how Aleks was doing everything to come across as a tough guy, but every once in a while he turned into a little boy who just needed someone to take care of him. He drew back just enough to gently kiss his forehead.

“I won't be able to help you if you won't tell me what's wrong,” he whispered calmly. “Whatever it is... you don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to try telling me what you think I want to hear. I want you to tell me the truth, so I can help you deal with it.”

Aleks was silent for a long moment. “I can't tell you everything,” he said in a hollow voice.

“Then tell me whatever you can...”

“But I don't want you to know,” Aleks cut him off, sounding half adamant and half fearful. “There are things I don't want you to know.”

“I know. I get that,” Maks said gently. “And I want you to know that I'd like to hear them anyway. Because they concern you and I want to know everything about you. Not only the pretty parts.”

Aleks closed his eyes, suddenly feeling even more vulnerable now, because Maks sounded as if he was just as affected as Aleks only from seeing him in this state and if he ever wondered if he actually loved this guy, here was his answer.

“I just thought...” he started weakly. “I just thought I could do it, you know? I thought I was... I don't know, stronger,” he muttered reluctantly, because it really bothered him how much the whole thing had traumatized him. He'd been in similar predicaments before, it's just... this time it was solely down to him. He put the whole thing together, he brought the guys there with one goal in mind. So he took responsibility. It was on him even more than on whoever actually pulled the trigger. Now that he remembered the distress he felt the moment he realized it, he found himself trembling again. He pressed his lips tightly together, trying to suppress it.

Maks looked at him, seemingly not knowing how to react at first, before he pulled him back into his arms. “Aleks,” he murmured soothingly and a bit indulgently, embracing him even tighter than before. “Whatever it's about, that's silly. You're no superhero, but you're strong and resilient, and capable of whatever you put your mind into. Because you're just... extraordinary,” he breathed with a trace of embarrassment. Aleks drew away slightly to look at him, astonished that he actually believed that and that he decided to voice it. “I do think that you're made for better things though...”

“But... I'm not,” Aleks broke off, trying to gather his thought. “What if I'm not suited for this? And if I'm not suited for this, how am I going to stomach anything else? I mean, I don't care if it might be considered a good thing from the moral point of view, it still sucks. Being weak in this world, it's just... it's not good,” he finished lamely, cursing himself for feeling sorry for himself and coming across as a complete wimp. Couldn't he have a nervous breakdown at any other time, did he have to do this right now, in front of Maks?

“You're not weak,” Maks said stubbornly, starting to look helpless. “What do you want me to tell you? That you're a great gangster?” he asked reluctantly, because telling anyone that they were a great gangster kind of clashed with his worldview. He could make an exception for Aleks though, laughing a bit inside, because he'd never thought he was going to say something like that to anyone.

Aleks snorted. “Oh, yeah, I'm so successful, I just need you couching me and patching me up and convincing me I'm not a loser,” he said bitterly, pouting a bit.

Maks couldn't hold back a snort. “Aren't you fishing for compliments there?” he asked suspiciously.

A very weak trace of a smile finally appeared on Aleks's face.

Maks shook his head in disbelief. “Jesus, don't be so hard on yourself,” he said, sobering up. “The fact that you're going through what you're going through right now doesn't mean you're a loser. It means you're human. I'm personally invested in you staying that way,” he added with a crooked smile.

Aleks hesitantly smiled back, not looking very convinced.

“Look,” Maks started, sounding determined. “I know you. I know that you... feel things very strongly, even if you're trying to pretend you don't. And whatever happened tonight, I can see it got to you. It's not a bad thing, Aleks. It's just the way you are. So ask yourself if the thrill or the money, or whatever you do it for is worth what's happening in your head right now. Just take these few days and think about it,” he suggested quietly, looking him straight in the eyes. Aleks averted his gaze, looking a bit at a loss. “Unless... unless you don't feel like going anymore, then...” Maks added hesitantly.

“Don't be silly,” Aleks cut him off, smiling half-heartedly, before kissing him chastely on the lips. “Of course we're going.”

***

“Oh my God! Maksymilian!” Aga shouted, running down the stairs and throwing herself at him.

Maks caught her out of habit in the last possible moment, a bit bewildered. He wasn't all that used to people jumping at him out of the blue. He'd completely forgotten how extrovert she was. He let her go and sized her up. She looked exactly as she always had, in shorts and loose t-shirt, like she'd been frozen in time here at this lake for years, while he was out in the world. There was something both reassuring and wistful about it.

“I was so surprised when I heard from you! I was almost sure that we were never going to see each other again. I heard that you went abroad.”

“I've been studying in England,” he corrected modestly.

She whistled quietly. “Fancy!” She looked over his shoulder at Aleks, who was watching this scene with amusement, pulling stuff from the trunk. “Hi! Aga!” she introduced herself cheerfully.

“Aleks,” he said, putting it all down and reaching out his hand.

She ignored him and pulled him in to kiss his cheek instead. “You're lucky it's not in season yet, I've moved things around a bit and voilà, this little cottage is at your disposal,” she announced, indicating a small, wooden cabin in front of them.

Maks's eyes it up and down and smiled to himself. That was all they could possibly need. “Thanks,” he said softly. After yesterday's late night talk that left them both grim, from the moment he'd woken up he'd been in a fantastic mood. He hadn't even been grumbling all that much that he had to get up so early, they just loaded everything including themselves in the car and had been driving for almost four hours in full sunlight, listening to Bruce Springsteen and it was so blissfully carefree. The moment they left Warsaw behind, Maks felt completely free, there were only the two of them and the road ahead. He could spend his whole life like that, driving with Aleks. They'd taken breaks every once in a while, either to take a picture, or because Aleks wanted to smoke, or because Maks suddenly felt that fields and sun and lakes were so beautiful, they just had to get out of the car and lay on the grass for a bit. They hadn't been in any hurry after all. Then Aleks dared to accuse him of crawling, so they changed places and the last sixty kilometers or so were covered in a flash. Well, Aleks had covered it in a flash while Maks sighed loudly and pestered him to slow down every few seconds. The whole trip had taken ages because of that, but it was wonderful, just as wonderful as it was right now. Just them surrounded by nature. It was perfect.

“I'll put it inside,” Aleks suggested, overloaded with bags and a case of beer they brought with them, because after they had one neither of them would drive to the store and they were intending to remain in a state of slight inebriation for the whole weekend. It looked like a regular, innocent guy's weekend, didn't it?

Maks nodded and Aleks winked at him before disappearing.

“I'm so glad you're here,” Aga said not for the first time. “You need to tell me everything, how are you doing!” she demanded.

Maks felt like wincing, because sure, he'd missed her too, but here in this little cabin was his turtledove, waiting for him so they could lock themselves in it, make love on every flat surface, down a beer or two, talk the night away and then in the morning go out barefoot, sit on the grass and watch the sunrise. Maybe they would jump into the lake. Or maybe not, maybe they wouldn't feel like it. That was one of the most delightful prospects Maks had ever seen in his mind.

In the meantime, Aga went on with her tirade. “...how was England, and how is your sister doing, the little one. Wiki, wasn't it?”

Maks snorted. “Little one,” he echoed mockingly. “She's almost seventeen.”

“Oh my God, they grow up so fast, don't they?” Aga sighed.

“Are we so old already that we can say that?” Maks raised his eyebrows.

“Yes we are!” she laughed. “What about a girlfriend? Still the same one?” she asked curiously. “The one who hates me?”

Maks rolled his eyes. “Come on, Ewelina didn't hate you...” he got defensive.

“Right, I remember her demonstrating that the first and only time we got together,” she mocked before shrugging. “Ok, I know you hadn't been together all that long back then and she'd gotten a bit carried away. I'm not sure what had led her to the conclusion that I was going to steal you from her, what a silly idea,” she snorted seeing a frown on Maks's face. “Sorry, but for me you're completely asexual.

“Thanks,” Maks deadpanned with a scowl.

“Don't pout! Asexual as a little brother would be. If you remember someone wetting their bed until they were six and eating crayons and ants, you can't look at them that way ever again,” she explained with a trace of disgust. “Though I also remember how you'd panicked when you'd thought you'd killed Wiki with a stuffed bunny. That was pretty cute,” she shrugged.

Maks raised his eyebrows. “Weird things turn you on,” he muttered. “Besides, I could have hurt her...”

“She hadn't even woken up, Maks,” Aga cut him off mockingly.

Maks smiled, dismissing the taunt, because he just realized that most of his favorite memories were in some way connected to this girl. And this place. His childhood hadn't been overly happy, most of the time he had spent with nannies, because his parents had been always busy. He had had few friends living close by, but he had been going to private schools in Warsaw and 'carefree' wasn't a word he would use to describe his early years. He was only ever carefree here, spending his summers at this lake.

“So Ewelina is still in the picture, huh? It seems serious, are you guys planning of getting hitched or something?” she raised her eyebrows curiously.

Yeah, I was stupid enough to propose to her a day before meeting the love of my life, he thought. How's that for shitty luck? Though one could argue that meeting the love of your life at all was pretty good luck on its own. Maks stared at her for a long moment in deliberation.

He couldn't believe that he was actually considering this, but right now she was just one more person he needed to pretend to and that could really fuck up his perfect weekend. Besides now that he was looking at her it hit him that she didn't really know him at all. To her he was nothing more but a teenage cutie she used to duck in the lake a decade ago, because she was always a better swimmer and never wasted the opportunity to rub it in his face. She didn't know him as a boring financier or Ewelina's fiancé, she just saw a childhood friend who suddenly turned into a grown up guy. She didn't know how he'd turned out any more than he knew how she'd turned out.

He couldn't believe that he was actually considering this, but it was so fucking tempting to be able to be just anyone for these few days. And if he could be anyone, he could just as well be himself .

“No, we're not,” he said finally, only after uttering these words realizing that it was actually a lie too. Fuck, the deeper he got into it, the more he felt like nothing was the truth anymore.

Aga stared. “You broke up?” she ascertained.

Maks couldn't help but notice that she didn't sound too heartbroken about it. “Well... not really. Not yet anyway,” he rectified awkwardly, wondering if it was even possible to fully explain.

Aga raised her eyebrows. “No yet?” she repeated, bewildered. “Look, whatever is going on... if it's not working anymore then just end it. What's the point of dragging it out needlessly?” she advised carefully.

“I know,” Maks cut quickly, not feeling like listening to another lecture. Of course he knew that the sooner he broke up with Ewelina, the better. He had no doubts about it. He had just failed at doing it. Repeatedly. “It's just... when I dump her, she's gonna figure out why I dumped her. And I don't want her to... not yet anyway,” he muttered vaguely, knowing that it probably didn't make much sense from the outside point of view.

Apparently Aga fully agreed with him. “Yeah... I don't get it,” she said, looking defeated. “I mean... it's not hard to figure that you've finally woken up and realized that wasn't it. To be honest, even back when I'd just met you, you two didn't seem to be all that much in love or something. It was more like... she had you whipped and you'd been doing everything she'd told you to for your sanity's sake,” Aga wrinkled her nose and shrugged unapologetically.

“I was sixteen,” Maks protested flatly. “I was too stunned that a girl liked me to wonder how much I actually liked her back,” he admitted, not even all that much embarrassed, even if he thought he had plenty of reasons for embarrassment.

Aga smiled indulgently. “And then you got stuck. Yeah, I know,” the way she said it suggested that she already worked it out ages ago. “I just didn't expect it to take that long, that's all.”

“Yeah, it took a while,” Maks shrugged.

Aga let out a slightly hysterical giggle. “A while? It took you eight years, Maks,” she chastised him, then shook her head. “You're such a loser. You've met someone else, right?” she figured.

Maks didn't do anything to either confirm or deny, but the way he was looking at her was apparently pretty telling.

“If you hadn't, you'd probably stay stuck forever, right?” she continued with a sense of absolute certainty.

“Yeah, probably,” he admitted easily, unable to fully hide his smile.

Aga was eyeing him for a long moment with an all-knowing smirk on her face. “Dump her,” she advised him quietly. “Whoever they are, they make your eyes light up. It's so blatant it's almost disgusting,” she informed him smugly.

Maks averted his eyes sheepishly, glancing at the cabin involuntarily. Aga followed his eyes and frowned. Maks could almost see the little wheels spinning in her head.

“I still don't get it,” she finally gave up. “Why didn't you bring her with you? The other one, I mean. You know I wouldn't tell anyone,” she pointed out, visibly hurt that Maks had so little trust in her. “Why is he here?” she added, pointing her chin towards the cabin.

Damn, Maks would definitely prefer if she just figured it out herself. He stared at her stubbornly, trying to wordlessly tell her what he had no idea how to say out loud.

“What?” she asked, baffled by his intense gaze.

“Nothing, I'm just waiting for you to put it all together,” he said impatiently.

She looked confused for another moment before her eyes suddenly widened. “Is...” she broke off, shook her head and started again. “Is he the other one?” she asked in a conspiratorial tone, sounding a little apologetic, as if she was ready to turn it all into a joke in case Maks looked at her like an idiot in response and asked where she even got that idea. But he didn't, he just bit his lip and shrugged helplessly. “But... what...” the rest of the sentence seemed to get lost somewhere on the way. She looked as if it was the first time she was seeing him. “Jesus, Maks!” she burst finally. “You're such an asshole!”

Maks blinked, bemused. “I'm an asshole?” he repeated indignantly.

“Yeah!” she scoffed forcefully. “You conveniently set yourself up with a girl and happily put up an act, and now that a guy came along you just dump her after eight years? Whatever she's like? Asshole,” she repeated, crossing her arms and looking reproachful.

“Well, when you put it like that, then you're right. I'm an asshole,” Maks admitted meekly, because he didn't feel like explaining that he couldn't be putting on an act on purpose when he didn't know himself. It sounded pathetic even in his head, so he decided to pave it over.

Aga looked appealed for a moment longer before she visibly deflated. “Damn, Maks,” she sighed, shaking her head half in horror, half in awe. “Damn. I don't even know what to...”

“Can it stay between us?” he asked quietly. “Cause you know... nobody knows.”

“Nobody?” she echoed, then suddenly smirked. “Then the only reason you're telling me is so you and your boy don't have to sneak around for the next few days?” she figured with amusement. Maks didn't even smile, so she rolled her eyes. “Jesus, of course I'm not gonna tell anyone. Did we meet yesterday?” she asked rhetorically, before her eyes widened dramatically. “Oh my God, you're parents are gonna blow a gasket when they find out. Auntie Beata, ok, I can see her being all accepting and proud of you for embracing your true self, but your dad? He won't be happy.”

As if Maks didn't know that already. “Yeah, that's why I would rather they didn't know,” he emphasized.

“But what, like, ever?” Aga wondered.

“I don't know,” Maks grumbled, because he really didn't know, he could hardly picture that. She was right, his mom would probably lament for a while then get over it, but his dad definitely wasn't the type of man who would say 'do whatever you want, son, as long as you're happy'. No, his dad didn't care for him being happy, he wanted him to be prosperous, whatever that meant. “So don't tell yours,” he warned.

She gave him a disbelieving glance. “Why the hell would I tell my parents that you're gay?” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. Maks shrugged, slightly reassured. “So... him, huh?” she asked suddenly with a trace of a smile, looking over his shoulder. Maks turned and saw Aleks getting out on the porch and lighting a cigarette. “He's young,” she observed with wonder, eyeing him up and down.

“Yeah, he's eighteen,” Maks muttered.

Aga looked at him, startled. “He's practically a baby,” she cooed. “He's like... ten years younger than me,” she said, sounding both surprised and amused.

Maks rolled his eyes. “That just makes you old,” he teased. “And he's not a baby.”

Aga hummed in agreement. “Definitely doesn't look like a baby. He's cute,” she judged, still sizing him up discreetly and raising her eyebrows with interest. Aleks leaned casually against the railing, letting the smoke out slowly and pretending that he hadn't seen them looking and wasn't glancing back himself.

Maks dropped his head, abashed, wondering briefly if it would be weird if he agreed with her before chastising himself. He still caught himself on these things from time to time, like thinking that Aga could say that Aleks was cute, because she was a girl, but if he said something along the same lines out loud then it would be weird. Why would it be? He literally just admitted to being with him. He could consider him cute. In fact, he should consider him cute.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, avoiding her eyes when he saw her grinning widely. Instead he briefly caught eye contact with Aleks who raised his eyebrow questioningly. Maks nodded subtly. “Ok, I have to...” he started, pointing him awkwardly.

“Sure, go to him,” Aga snorted, before narrowing her eyes. “But you're not going to lock the two of you in there for the whole four days? I still get to spend some time with you too, right?”

“Of course,” Maks assured her easily. “I'll come to you... or we'll come to you... tonight. Or you know what, let's make it tomorrow,” he quickly changed his mind.

Aga snickered. “Seriously, you need until tomorrow...?” she started incredulously, then thought twice about it. “No, ok. Young love, I get it,” she said indulgently, though still rolling her eyes a little.

“We're not...” Maks got automatically defensive.

“Yeah, right,” Aga cut him off derisively. “That's why you look like you're about to float away, because you’re so not in love. Ok, go,” she ordered. “Have fun. And be good, because I might stop by unexpectedly,” she added with her voice raised to make sure that Aleks also heard. He apparently did, because the corner of his mouth rose slightly, though his eyes were still fixed on his phone. Maks laughed before joining him on the porch.

“We will have to lock the door,” he whispered. Aleks quickly put his phone down and hid it in his pocket. Maks didn't notice it, he was too excited and felt lighter than he did in ages. “I just came out of the closet,” he confessed conspiratorially.

Aleks sent him a faint smile. “Good for you, baby,” he muttered, sounding a little distracted. Maks was too proud of himself to worry about it right now. Sure, it was only Aga, but he expected it to be the most awkward conversation he had in his life and it was actually... great. Owning up to his six years younger boyfriend, this imp right here, smooth, devious, artful, looking like a model, overall perfect, was great. There was nothing surprising about Maks being into him. You'd have to be mad not to be into him. Coming out wasn't embarrassing, it was awesome.

Well, only to people who also thought so, of course.

“I'll check inside, ok?” he said, dropping a careless kiss at the back of his head. Aleks glanced at him over his shoulder and grinned, but there was something about this grin that wasn't completely convincing. Maks frowned, but let it slide, because he was still too upbeat to wonder about Aleks's lack of enthusiasm.

When he disappeared, Aleks exhaled heavily, taking his phone back out and opening the last received text.

1:23 pm. From: Unknown. You're gonna regret coming onto my turf and messing with me. It won't take long. You're fucking dead.

He stared absently for a moment before snorting and shaking his head. It was more laughable than threatening. Someone was in a dire need of a little ego check. Or they were just bored. Either way, it wasn't a good enough reason to ruin such a nice weekend.

Delete.