You Complete Me - 10. Chapter 10 - End of an Era

Jake had never been great at “acting natural,” even when he wasn’t being suspected of anything. When his mother was still alive, she only needed to give him a look before he promptly started crying and confessing every sin he had ever committed. Needless to say, Ellie never trusted him with any secrets growing up.

He wasn’t quite that reactive anymore, but he could barely make eye contact with Meg before they parted ways at the end of the day. She didn’t seem to suspect anything, or at least never outwardly confronted him about any suspicions.

“Are you busy tomorrow night?” she asked him, squeezing his hand as they walked together to their cars.

“No, who told you that?” Jake shot back, more defensively than he intended.

They had been snippy with each other lately, so Meg just laughed it off. “Easy, babe. Just thought it might be time for another ‘sleepover.’”

“Oh, of course.” They were still playing the perfect couple. He tried to smile and even sold it with a kiss on her cheek. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

As they parted ways, Jake was certain of two things: that this overwhelming guilt wasn’t going away any time soon, and the only way to remedy that was to break up with Meg as soon as possible if he still cared about her at all. The only question was how?

It turned out to be a terrible time to introduce drama into his life. Jake’s first onslaught of exams were scheduled throughout the next week and a half, and he was already wondering which ones he could afford to fail this early in the semester. He also had his first game next weekend, and his father was due to finally come home shortly after. One of the first things Samwell would want to discuss would be Jake’s report card. Somewhere between these events, he had to execute his first-ever breakup and deal with whatever fallout would result from that, all while ruminating about his first-ever gay hookup.

The next evening, Coach Reynolds was on Jake before he even had time to put his things down for practice. “Haven’t gotten an email from you yet, so tell me you have your starting lineup.”

Despite everything else, and largely because Coach kept nagging him, this was one thing that Jake was prepared to be confronted about. He looked around at his teammates milling about, busy putting on their cleats and conversing, then motioned Reynolds a few steps away from them. “Yeah, I’ve got an idea. Does Amir have any rookies going up? I don’t want too many starting at once.”

“Just one. Enzo on wing.”

Jake raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Kenny Enzo? Really? He just started last week.”

“Yeah, but have you seen that kid run? Names, Ferguson.”

“Right. Me as lock, then...” Jake went on to rattle off the other seven names, ticking them off on his fingers. Most of them were veterans, but he chose a handful of first-timers that at least seemed to know which way to run. His coach quickly scrawled them down on a notepad with a nod.

“That’s probably what I would’ve gone with. Good eye.” He started to walk away, but Jake stopped him.

“Thanks for taking care of Neumann, by the way.”

Reynolds almost smiled. “I barely had to do anything. He didn’t really need any convincing – a lot of cheerleaders are in the first period class.”

Jake snorted. “Figures. As long as he’s gone and happy about it.”

Reynolds nodded once. “Yeah, I hope Nic feels a little more comfortable now.”

As per usual when Nic’s name was mentioned unexpectedly, Jake felt a twinge of panic. “What’s Nic got to do with anything?”

Reynolds smiled for real this time, and far too late, Jake realized that a less suspicious response would have been to ask who Nic was. “You reported an incident and the very next day the smallest kid in the class shows up in a wrist brace. I’ve had a lot of concussions in my day, but I can still put two and two together, you know.”

As he walked away, barking some orders at his other students, Jake tried to convince himself that there was nothing wrong about Coach knowing he did Nic a favor. After all, there was a huge leap between helping someone out and fucking them. Now that he knew firsthand how Nic liked to “repay” people, Jake didn’t want him to ever know what he did. He really was just doing a nice thing, and he was in too deep as it was.

Jake reached for his phone to check it one last time before practice started. He found a series of missed calls from Ellie, all within the last twenty minutes or so, which immediately put him on edge. To make matters worse, it wasn’t his sister that answered when he called her back.

Practice had just begun with Coach Reynolds ordering the team to warm up with a few laps. A hoard of guys raced off in a stampede of thundering cleats, but Jake jogged back over to Reynolds.

Reynolds noticed the change in Jake’s demeanor right away and stood a bit straighter. “What’s wrong?”

“Coach, I’ve gotta go. Family stuff.”

The older man nodded curtly. He was pretty fond of Ellie and knew a little of what she had been going through. “No problem. Do what you got to do and let me know if I can help.”

Jake was already hurrying off, his bag slung over his shoulder as he pointed distractedly across the field. “Have Goldstein take over for me and let them know I’m sorry!”

***

Twenty minutes later, Jake careened down a quiet suburban street at a speed that should have gotten him pulled over. He only slowed to read the numbers on the mailboxes, coming to a hard stop when he missed the address with a mumbled curse. His BMW, Bond, groaned in protest as he shoved it into the reverse gear, which didn’t go ignored by Jake. “Easy, girl,” he murmured, making a mental note to check the brakes later.

Jake had parked in front of a well-manicured lawn surrounding a pastel-green house with white shutters, which looked almost exactly like every other house on the block. He hurried up to the door and gave it a firm knock. To his relief, it was answered almost immediately by a young woman holding a joint. She was a few years older than him at most, in rumpled clothing that looked like they had been slept in.

She looked him up and down, lingering on his grass-stained rugby shorts. “You’re the brother?” she asked, by way of greeting.

Jake nodded. She had given her name over the phone, but he didn’t remember it or cared enough to ask again. “Yeah, where is she?”

She indicated vaguely behind her. “Out back, in the pool – she won’t get out.”

Jake wanted to berate the girl for leaving his sister alone in a body of water, but starting a fight would waste precious time. He followed her into the dark house, which was much more unkempt than the outside would suggest. It looked like he had stepped into the aftermath of a house party, with discarded beer cans and other trash littering the floor and the couches occupied by sleeping bodies. Jake narrowly avoided stepping on someone that made themselves at home in the middle of the floor, tucked under a blanket.

“I’ve only known her for a few weeks – I had no idea,” the girl was saying over her shoulder, her tone nonchalant. “She went pretty hard last night and just started drinking again a few hours ago.”

They had reached a sliding glass door on the opposite side of the house, which led into the backyard containing a pool that seemed too large for it. Ellie was right in the middle of the pool, kicking her legs as she did a surprisingly graceful backstroke. Spotting her brother, she paused and gave an emphatic, upside-down wave.

Jake slipped past the girl and crouched by the edge of the water, his elbows on his knees. “Ellie...what are you doing?” He kept his voice light, almost singsong, as if he were talking to a child. Upsetting her would just make this worse.

“Whatzit look like?” she slurred. “I’m having fun.” She waded to where the water was shallower and stood so that it was about chest height. She wasn’t naked, thankfully – otherwise Jake wouldn’t know how to deal with her – but she was only wearing her bra and underwear. Jake noticed some tattoos he had never seen before and looked away.

“It’s four in the afternoon, Ellie. On a Wednesday.”

“Thank you for being my living calendar.” She gave him an ironic salute, which made her waver threateningly. “Why are you here anyway, hermanito?”

Jake stood up, releasing some of his irritation in a deep exhale. “Making sure you don’t drown. Weren’t you the one that told me never to swim drunk?”

“That’s before I found out how fun it is.” Ellie tried to wade away, but slipped on the silly little decorative stones on the bottom of the pool. Jake tensed as he prepared to dive, but she managed to catch herself. Giggling at her own clumsiness, she rolled over to float on her back.

Jake was rapidly losing his patience; he had to tell himself to calm down. “See? It's dangerous.” Ellie was just silly-drunk now, which was merely embarrassing for everyone involved. However, it didn’t take much to make her sad-drunk or angry-drunk, and the latter two options often resulted in property damage.

She playfully splashed in his direction, but it fell way short. “Make me.”

“I’d rather you just came to me.” He’d had to reign her in when she’d gotten publicly drunk a few times before, and it got progressively less funny each time. Especially when she was the only one drunk. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to physically drag her out of the pool. Jake was not a strong swimmer. Even wasted, Ellie would be hard to catch.

Ellie didn’t answer him. She’d gotten further way, but he could faintly hear her humming tunelessly. Jake was having the sinking feeling that this may be out of his depth. The frustration and disappointment in his sister sucked the morale out of him, and the sweltering summer heat didn’t help. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the girl with the joint watching them from the other side of the sliding glass door. She was useless, and it irritated him even more.

He was on the edge of calling Coach Reynolds for help when an idea finally came to him. He crouched by the nearest edge of the pool again. “You probably haven’t eaten today, have you?”

Ellie liked to eat almost as much as he did. She craned her head towards him so abruptly that she nearly went under again. “No - but I’m starving, now that you mention it.”

“If you get out, we can go to that sandwich place you like so much.”

“McAllister’s? That’s the first good idea you’ve had since you got here. Maybe even ever.”

Jake tried not to take that too personally. He offered an outstretched hand. “Let’s go.”

Ellie swam over to him and accepted it. Up close, Jake could properly see how rough she looked: her skin was unusually pale and breaking out, makeup was smeared all over her face, and she had a day-old hickey on her neck. Her dark eyes were hollow and slightly sunken-in, in eerie contrast to the lazy smile beneath them. Ellie looked a lot older than nineteen, almost unrecognizable from the sister he’d known a year ago, or even a week ago when he’d last seen her.

He shook the frankly depressing thoughts away, reminding himself to stay on task. “Where are your clothes?” he asked, all but dragging her to a standing position.

Ellie was rediscovering solid ground, looking a bit green. “Was hoping you could tell me.”

“How would I – ? Ugh, never mind.” He pulled her a safe distance from the pool and went back up towards the house. Joint Girl opened the door as he approached, looking relieved. “You know where her stuff is? And can I get a towel?”

“Yeah, everything’s right there.” She pointed to a small pile of clothes by the door and ran to the back of the house for the towel. Jake briefly inspected Ellie’s things, equal parts relieved and dismayed – relieved that her phone, keys, and wallet were all present and dismayed that the only clothes she had with her was a black minidress and stilettos. There was no way he was going anywhere with her other than home in that outfit.

Jake heard a splash outside and looked back, fearing that Ellie had jumped back into the pool. Instead, she was bent at the waist, throwing up onto what looked like a very lovingly cultivated flower garden. Joint Girl had returned to stand next to him, the requested towel hanging off her elbow, her eyes wide.

“My mom spent all summer on those,” she said faintly.

There was nothing to say other than apologize, but Jake’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he grew white-hot with embarrassment. He sheepishly took the towel from her, avoiding eye contact and pretending he hadn’t heard her.

He only found his voice again as he was about to walk back outside with his arms full of Ellie’s things. “Um...do you also happen to have a bucket?”

***

They managed to get back home without any further incident. Ellie was apparently in the comedown stage, in and out of consciousness as she clutched the borrowed wastebasket to her chest, shrouded in her borrowed towel. They didn’t speak the entire drive back, which took a while. Ellie just happened to go on a drunken rampage on the opposite end of town, a good half hour from their house. Now that the threat of her drowning had passed, Jake was angry, and Ellie seemed to sense that. She didn’t even pester him about going to McAllister’s, which was probably in her best interest, since Jake knew he wouldn’t have a kind response to that.

Once they had returned to their carport, the silence weighed heavily over them. With a long-suffering sigh, Jake asked, “Cual es la escusa esta vez?”

Ellie swallowed hard before answering, her cheek pressed against window. “I don’t have an excuse.” He glared at her for a moment more, and she closed her eyes. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

In time, Jake knew he would forgive her, but he wasn’t anywhere close to it right now. “You owe me for gas,” he muttered, getting out of the car.

“I’ll pay you back on Friday,” she called after him, making no move to follow him just yet.

She had picked up a job at an art supply store since returning from rehab. Jake wondered if she blew off work to drink, or if she even still had a job to get back to. Ellie from before college was horrified at the thought of even being late for something.

Jake dumped his bag by the door and went straight through the house and down into the basement where they kept all the gym equipment. Since he was still in his practice clothes and had no chance of returning to practice before it was over, he intended to pass the rest of the evening down here. Two summers ago, he and his father spent months slowly building a small home gym together, one of the few things they ever bonded over. More often than not, Jake found himself working out alone, but he hardly minded. Time seemed nonexistent down here, and it was a convenient place to burn out some agitated energy.

He pushed Ellie out of his mind – it wasn’t like she was in any state to go anywhere - and started out on the treadmill. Then it was the concrete weights. Back to the treadmill for a burnout. His mind never went completely silent, but the physical exertion gradually calmed him. He had never been able to hold onto anger for very long.

This wasn’t Ellie’s first ill-fated attempt at sobriety. Before anyone knew it had become a problem, Jake had just thought his sister was finally loosening up. It wasn’t until she took him out to a few college parties that he saw for himself that she was getting out of control. After the second time he had to coral her back to her dorm after she decided to go on a drunken, barefoot sprint around campus at two A.M., he confronted her about it. She swore she’d cut back, last a few weeks at most before going on another binge, and the cycle repeated until she got put on academic probation and Samwell was finally clued in on what was going on.

Though the drinking had made him uncomfortable, Jake hadn’t realized it was serious enough to rat her out until that moment, and he still regretted not saying something sooner. Maybe if Ellie got help a year ago, she wouldn’t have had to drop out and she wouldn’t still be struggling. He was still processing what it really meant to be close to someone with an addiction. He understood that Ellie lacked a switch in her brain that told her she was going too far, that it wasn’t entirely her fault, but knowing these things didn’t make it any easier to watch her fail. This was the first time she had relapsed since getting professional help – that he knew of – which meant he had to say something to their father this time. Ellie would hate him.

Jake only stopped when sweat was pouring off him and his stomach started to growl, which was about two hours later. He shakily climbed the stairs on legs that felt like jelly, toweling his face as he ascended.

He found the living room couch occupied by a snoring Ellie, in fresh pajamas and damp hair splayed across the leather. She didn’t stir as he stood over her, wrinkling his nose against the smell emanating from the wastebasket she had parked next to the couch. She had apparently been waiting for him to return so they could talk. Jake shook his head, went back down the hallway to retrieve a blanket from a closet, and tossed it over her.

Jake started searching the cabinets, wondering if he should throw something together or just order food, when he heard a chime in his ear from the one AirPod he still had in, signaling that his phone was ringing. He pulled it out, saw Meg’s name, and frowned. He gave his sister’s sleeping body another glance and decided to answer it outside.

Jake knew that Meg was displeased before she even spoke, since, like most people their age, she rarely called. “What happened to texting me after practice?”

Jake checked his Fitbit as he settled onto the front step. It was only six o’clock, too early for their usual dinner time, so what was he forgetting? Better to apologize to cover all his bases. “Sorry, I lost track of time. You know me. Give me a few minutes to get ready and maybe we can go then.”

“Go where? You were supposed to let me know when you’re done with practice so I could come over. Honestly, Jake...” She sounded like she had a lot more to say about what Jake ‘honestly’ was, but luckily for him she was too pissed to gather her thoughts.

That did give him time to scramble for something of an excuse. Usually, he was tripping over himself to apologize for forgetting something, but tonight he just didn’t feel like admitting it. “Practice ran late, I figured I’d just catch up with you for dinner instead. Either way, you can’t come over…something kinda came up.”

“Are you cheating on me?”

He nearly dropped the phone. “What makes you say that?” he practically yelled once he recovered.

“Your car wasn’t in the parking lot when I left, so I know you weren’t staying late with practice.”

This was why Jake didn’t like lying. He was shit at it. He was rendered speechless for a moment.

“You’ve been distant lately and you were hiding your phone from me the other day,” Meg continued. She sounded uncertain, something so uncharacteristic of her that Jake flinched with guilt.

You have to tell her, a reasonable part of him demanded. He had already been caught in a lie. He even opened his mouth to blurt out everything, even the major detail about the gender of the person he cheated with, but he stopped before he committed social suicide. He had to be more strategic than this. Meg would not handle being cheated on well – he doubted anyone would, but Meg least of all. She already suspected he was cheating before he fucked Nic, which meant that she’d think he was having an full-on secret relationship if he admitted to it now.

Who was he kidding? Jake had hooked up with Nic twice now, willingly despite what he’d been telling himself about the first time, which officially made it an affair. Or at least that’s what he heard on the telenovelas. If he told Meg the truth, he had no doubt that she’d do everything in her power to ruin him. She’d done it before.

“I’m not cheating on you,” he asserted, mustering as much confidence into the statement as he could muster. Thank God he wasn’t face-to-face with her right now; she’d know he was lying immediately from his sudden fidgeting. He stood up to start pacing away some of his nerves. “It’s Ellie, she’s having some problems. That’s why I left early.”

“Oh, that’s all?” Meg’s tone was relieved, much less dangerous than it had been a moment ago. And since Jake was still on edge from the events of the evening, it irked him.

“Well, that’s not all. It’s still fucking serious, Meg.”

“Ok, jeez, I’m sorry. But, like...it’s not the first time.”

“I know.”

“She needs some real help and to stop relying on you all the time. You have a life, too, you know, including a girlfriend that feels kind of neglected lately.”

“I know! But she’s my sister. You don’t get it.” Meg was an only child – a spoiled only child at that – and this was one of those times that that was very apparent. “She’s part of my life, too.”

Meg paused. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, grudgingly.

“No, it’s fine.” Not anymore. Her responses reminded him that Meg was not the person to vent to. She was the one to vent, and for the most part she rarely had things worth venting over. Jake’s anxiety mounted as a realization come over him, and he started pacing. Her life was great: she did well in school, had a future laid out for her, and her two whole parents were invested in her life. Jake was the opposite in every way. She didn’t need him or even want him, really; she just liked the idea of him. He may not be able to admit that he had cheated, but there was still something that needed to be done.

“Meg,” he said, cutting her off in the middle of a tirade about a patient she encountered during her hospital internship.

“Hm, what’s up?” She didn’t sound happy about being interrupted.

“We need to stop.”

“Yeah, sure, we can talk tomorrow if you need to go.”

“No, I mean...this. Dating. We need to break up.” How eloquent, he thought dryly. When Meg didn’t respond, he started to panic. “Meg?”

“You are cheating on me,” she hissed venomously.

“I’m not cheating on you.” The lie was getting easier each time he repeated it; the flash of guilt he felt was fleeting this time. “I told you that this wasn’t working weeks ago.”

“And we talked it out. I thought we were good?”

“No, you decided we were good. Like you decide everything.” That seemed to shock her into silence, so he rode on the momentum. “We’re not good for each other, Meg, and I don’t want you to waste your time with me anymore just because you don’t want to be single senior year. Your dad would be happier, you would be happier, and so would I. I’ve just got a lot of things going on right now.”

Meg was so quiet on the other end that Jake thought she hung up on him, but he could faintly hear her breathing. Say something, he silently urged her, and when she didn’t, he did it for her. “It’s got nothing to do with you.” He was getting the hang of this lying thing. “It’s got everything to do with me and just not having the capacity to date right now. We had a good run, right? It’s like you said, we have fun together, but I think we’re just in different places right now. I hope we can still be cool.” Again, he waited.

Finally, flatly: “I’ve never been broken up with before.”

Jake was again at a loss for words, until she hung up a heartbeat later. “Fuck,” he muttered into the phone. It was a first for both of them, then.

His hands were shaking and his heart was taking a long time to return to normal, which only made him more nervous. He shoved his phone into his pocket before he dropped it and kept pacing for a few more minutes, repeatedly running his hand through his still-sweaty hair.

When Jake eventually went back inside, Ellie was roused from the slamming of the door. She groggily lifted her head up from the armrest, took one look at his face, and sat up a bit straighter. “You alright?”

Jake shook his head absently. “We’ll talk in the morning. Can you order a pizza? I’m going to go shower.” He left before she could answer.

Once he was finally alone with his thoughts in the shower, Jake replayed that final conversation with his now-ex over and over again, analyzing every piece of it that he could remember. Yup, his life was over.

The thought should have panicked him more. He waited to feel sick as he considered the many ways Meg would spin the story of their breakup to the rest of the school. Instead, he felt remarkably light, even a little giddy. This evening had been hectic, and the most stressful part of it just left him relieved. It felt wildly inappropriate, almost like laughing during a funeral, but he couldn’t stifle it.

Instead of reminiscing about Meg, Jake ended up thinking about that last encounter with Nic for the first time in hours. Lately, being in any bathroom setting triggered an image of Nic, and this was no exception. He ended up showering for a very long time.