Silver and Gold - 16. Chapter 16

Feldspar stared, dumbfounded. Mal was pushing his way through the line of human passengers shuffling through the security screening line. If Mal hadn’t looked so frantic, he would have laughed at the way he was following the line as it serpentined forward and back on itself rather than hopping the stanchions. Mal was breathing heavily and his wild black hair looked damp with sweat. He paid no mind to the offended squawks coming from the disgruntled passengers he elbowed out of his way as he pushed to the front of the line.

A hundred possible reasons for Mal to be in Paris ran across his mind, none of them good. The Wood could be under attack by humans or perhaps other faeries. Stars, something could have happened to Gneiss and Mal wanted to deliver the news in person. Or perhaps the European delegation had invited him for a diplomatic visit — but then why would he look so desperate? For Mal to cross the world to find him, something truly horrible must have happened. What was so urgent it couldn’t have waited for him to get home?

Mal reached the front of the line and walked brusquely past the human security agent checking boarding passes. The man began to berate him in French while reaching toward his belt. Mal paused long enough to level a haughty glare at him and hold up what appeared to be a passport. The man blanched and bowed, his face morphing from superior to terrified in a split second. Mal strode onward without so much as a backward glance.

As he moved beyond the human checkpoint, a faery in an airport security uniform stepped forward to direct Mal toward the fae-only security corridor. Mal gave him a withering look and handed him the same travel document.

“My lord,” the faery said, bowing low. “We are humbled by your patronage. If I may, we do have security protocols to complete before your flight.”

“You may not.” Mal stared at him, every inch the lord and commander he was. He plucked his passport out of the faery’s hands and strode past the other fae creatures waiting patiently for their turns to go through the checkpoint. None of them dared raise an objection. The power radiating off of Mal was palpable in the Wood, which had a thickly magical atmosphere. Here in the human realm power rolled off of him in such contrast to the mundanity of his surroundings that it was almost violent to experience. Faeries stepped back from him, eyes averted as they felt the rush of power sweeping ahead of him.

In seconds he was standing in front of Feldspar and Silver. “Feldspar,” he said, panting slightly.

“Mal. What are you doing here?”

“Feldspar,” Mal said, still trying to catch his breath. His hair was all out of place and Feldspar could see a faint sheen of sweat across his brow. “I came to — “ He sucked in a deep breath and looked at the ground. “I came to see you.”

“You came… to see me?” Feldspar frowned in confusion. It didn’t make sense. Mal looked wild and panicked. Then his stomach dropped. The last time he’d seen Mal looking so low was when Daniella had left him. Maybe she’d gotten fed up with him again and left him for good, and now he was crawling back to Feldspar. The thought put a bad taste in his mouth.

Silver slid his hand into Feldspar’s and angled his shoulder just slightly in front of him, as if to shield him from Mal. “What do you mean you came to see him?”

“I — “ he looked between the two faeries. “I couldn’t find you. I went to the place where you said you would be staying and that faun told me I’d already missed you, so…”

“You went to Silver’s flat?” Nothing was making sense. “Why did you go to Silver’s flat?”

“To see you,” Mal said, now exasperated.

“But why?” Feldspar demanded. He didn’t understand why Mal was being so oblique.

“Because, Feldspar! Curses, because I missed you and I let you leave on bad terms and I wanted to see you.”

Feldspar’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“When you left I was so angry. I wanted you with me while the European delegation was visiting and you did not even ask permission to leave the Wood. Daniella became so irritated with me that she withheld her affections for a week. A week! Gneiss refused to train with me until I listened to them.

“All Daniella had to say was ‘what if you had lost Feldspar, as Silver lost Brody.’ It’s horrifying, Feldspar. I cannot imagine losing you. It would kill me to face that. I cannot even hold the thought in my mind, it’s unthinkable. You and Gneiss are my two dearest, oldest friends, who have been with me through everything that has ever mattered.

“They made it abundantly clear what an arsehole I was for not having sympathy for Silver and for expecting you to abandon him at his lowest. I have missed you terribly and though I know I hardly deserve it, I wanted you to know that I will do anything to make our friendship as it once was.”

“You’re here to… win me back? As a friend?”

“Precisely.”

Silver gave Mal a hard stare. “Keep talking and maybe Feldspar will consider it.”

Passengers flowed around the three faeries, giving them a wide berth and mostly pretending not to see them. Even the humans sensed that Mal, powerful beyond measure, was not someone you wanted to be near when he was lacking self-control. A few wide-eyed American tourists in sneakers and sweatsuits lingered, trying to watch without being conspicuous. It took only a glance from Mal, whose eyes swirled briefly with green energy, to send them skittering toward their gate.

“As I was saying, I missed you terribly while you were gone. The longer you were away the more I realized how desperately you are needed in the Wood.” Mal’s brown furrowed and he looked at his feet. “Not just needed in the Wood. Needed… by me. I was scarcely myself without you, to the point that the Wood was starting to get imbalanced.”

“So you’re here because you need me back to fix the Wood?”

“No! I… I am here because I cannot abide another minute without apologizing to you.”

“For what, exactly?”

“For letting you leave without making things right. For not supporting you when you needed me. For being an arsehole to you and to Silver both.”

“Okay,” Feldspar said slowly, his face impassive. Silver squeezed his hand.

“I am sorry. Truly sorry. All I could see was what Dani and I were hoping to accomplish, and how important it was to build good relations with the European delegation. I should never have pressed you to stay when you needed to support Silver. It was unfair of me. I was an ass for not transporting you here myself. It’s why I came. I wanted to bring you home. When you are ready, of course.” His cheeks flushed and he mumbled, “Although, it appears you already have other arrangements for your return journey.”

“Fine, you’re forgiven for that. Silver, let’s go. We’ve got a plane to catch.”

Mal blanched at Feldspar’s hard tone. “Wait! I was not done.”

Feldspar sighed dramatically. “Don’t panic, Mal. We’ve been friends for too long for me to cut you off completely. I’m just going to be pissed at you for a while longer.”

“But there is more I need to say to you,” he said, his voice cracking. Feldspar looked down at the ground, unable to watch Mal get emotional over him. It was almost enough to break his self-control.

Silver glanced between them and tugged on Feldspar’s hand. “We’ve got time, babe.” Feldspar willed his eyes to stop tearing up, then nodded to Mal to continue.

“I did not come here only to apologize for my self-absorbed behavior before you left. I came because I needed you to know that I know that I wronged you when I chose Daniella. I knew it would hurt you and I did it regardless. I know I cannot easily repair that harm, but I hope you will let me attempt it. I am, from the depth of my soul, sorry for how I treated you.”

“Mal, you’re allowed to fall in love. I don’t begrudge you that.”

“Of course you don’t,” Mal shouted. A few humans in the vicinity jumped and he lowered his voice. “You are possibly the most selfless, kind soul I know. Stars, we all know that’s certainly not Gneiss. You have always put me first since the day you were made. How could I not know that about you? What I am apologizing for is that I knew how much it would hurt you, and I let you tell me that you were not hurting. I let you lie to my face that you were happy for Dani and I, that you were not crying yourself to sleep nightly. I let you carry on that farce for months though it was hurting you to conceal your true feelings. I chose to believe it, because it made me feel less guilty for hurting you and it made it easier for me and for Dani. I did that. I let you lie and I accepted that lie, even when it hurt you. Even when a reasonable friend, a good friend, could see that it was hurting you to keep up the charade.” His voice cracked and he wiped a hand across his eyes. “I am sorry.”

Feldspar stared at his friend. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Mal cry. Tears were streaming down his face, which was starting to get red and splotchy. “You really hurt me, Mal,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“I know, Fel, I know.”

Everything in Feldspar yearned to have Mal’s friendship back, but he couldn’t trust that side of himself. There was a part of him that would accept Mal’s friendship at any cost. It was Silver who had tempered that urge, who had showed him that no relationship was worth losing his peace and self-worth over. The last thing he wanted was to forgive Mal and lose Silver’s respect. Almost afraid, he looked to Silver. He found only warm compassion and acceptance in his eyes. Whatever his decision, Silver would support him.

Feldspar looked at Mal again. Mal was here, in Paris, for him. To beg forgiveness. To have his friendship back. He had left the safety of the Wood, traveled across the world at no small outlay of magic, and apparently searched the streets of Paris to find him. Seeing him flustered, breathless, sweaty and distraught brought Feldspar right back to their days fighting side by side. With that thought he couldn’t hold himself back. He stepped forward and wrapped Mal’s familiar form in his arms. “You,” he whispered, “will always be my brother. Even when I'm mad at you.”

Mal let out a stuttering breath of relief and buried his face against Feldspar’s neck. His shoulders jumped with silent shudders as Feldspar held him. “I’m sorry I’m such a selfish arsehole sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“With frequency.”

Feldspar smiled even as he felt emotion prickling at the corners of his eyes. “I’m still going to make you grovel for a few more weeks.”

“Happily.”

“And I reserve the right to be mad at you and tell you off.”

“As I deserve.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Truly?”

“Yeah, you idiot. I’ve missed you, too. And you’re a mess without me.”

Mal drew back from Feldspar, wiped his eyes, and in seconds magically transformed himself. His black hair was crowned with an elegant diadem, his clothes were smoothed and straightened and all traces of tears and sweat were wiped away. Silver almost laughed at how suddenly he transitioned into the picture perfect Lord of the Wood.

“May I escort you home?” he said gallantly, bowing slightly and extending a hand toward Feldspar.

Feldspar grinned and shook his head. “Oh no, Sil already bought our tickets. We couldn’t possibly let those go to waste.” He snuck a look at Silver, whose mouth dropped open in disbelief. He chuckled and pushed on. “In fact, you’ll be riding back with us, just so you can see how lovely it was travel coach on the trip over here. You won’t mind, will you? It will be eleven hours, but I know you’ll be happy to cram into a seventeen inch wide seat in order to spend time with your best, best friend.”

Mal’s mouth twitched. “If that is what you wish of me.”

Silver narrowed his eyes at Feldspar but held his tongue. Feldspar grinned at him. “What?”

“Nothing, love.”

“You bought all those snacks and downloaded shows to watch. He doesn’t get to just appear out of nowhere and change all our plans.” Feldspar winked at Silver, still grinning.

“Boy,” Mal called, gesturing to the faery security screener who’d checked his documents. The faery’s head jerked up in alarm. “I require your assistance with acquiring a ticket — “

Feldspar burst out laughing. “Mal, stop,” he cried. “I’m just messing with you.”

Mal held up a hand to waylay the faery who was somehow simultaneously trotting and bowing his way over to them. Feldspar shook his head. “As fun as it would be to make you enjoy the pleasures of coach seating, I’m not going to make Silver suffer an eleven-hour flight unless he needs to.”

“Such a gentleman,” Silver said dryly. Feldspar poked him in the ribs, enjoying the offended squawk his boyfriend let out.

“Well then, shall we?” Mal said, gesturing back toward the entrance to the airport. “All I require to travel is a tree, and I will have us home in minutes.”

Home, Feldspar thought. It had never sounded so good.