The Flamekeepers of Delta Psi Theta - 5. Paperwork

The humvee rattled as I drove past marker tango and made the turn to return to the checkpoint. Novo held onto the squawk mic for dear life, focusing entirely on it. The tension was obvious; even Harveson could pick up on it. I kept us on the path, giving Harveson a chance to make sure the fence was secure. We were deep in the middle of nowhere, so it wasn't likely someone would fuck with the perimeter, but we couldn’t be sure.

We followed the route to the checkpoint marker, and I killed the external lights. Internals were set as low as they would go, making us visually harder to see. I'm sure we glowed like the sun in infrared. I kept the engine running; there was barely enough water for us, much less to keep the battery cells wet. I didn’t trust them to run for 40 minutes and restart the engine. Sgt. didn’t seem to mind.

Tension was stifling; not even the breeze coming through the windows helped. Harveson distracted himself by targeting mice on the road with the remote gun. I didn’t have that luxury. Harveson knew about Sgt and me, so when we signed up for this patrol a month ago when he was a corporal, this would be an easy night to get some semi-alone time to cuddle a bit. After his promotion and our fight this morning, that wasn't happening.

I kept an eye on Novo, in any case. The Sgt. was usually sharp, but his mind seemed somewhere else. Maybe he was thinking the same thing I was, wondering our ways forward. I wanted to say something, anything, to break the tension, but I couldn’t find the words. After about 20-something minutes, I kinda knew what I wanted to say and was about to say it when the monitors flickered.

“Uhh, Harveson, what was that?”

“Dunno, Sergeant, maybe a glitch.”

“Let's make damn sure it isn’t a glitch. Becker, get your eyes on and scan the area.”

Fuck.

I reached into my pack to grab my night vision goggles and scan the outside. Over the giant glowing maw of the engine, I could see it. Something was making even night vision go dark.

“Becker, you seeing this?”

I was already in gear when he finished his question.

“Yeah, Sergeant. T-1 minute”

He got on the squawk to call to base. He got about half the call out before he and Harveson both lost their systems in an ear-shattering squelch from the radio.

I could hear Harveson prep Novo’s rifle. I had to say something. Novo checked that his rifle was loaded and chambered. Now was my chance.

“I…”

“Becker, you pull up to the building and let me out. Move to a good firing position. Harveson, you keep eyes on me. When I give the signal, you unleash hell on this thing.”

“Love you, Novo” flew out of my mouth, but he was already out and on foot.

By now, whatever the fuck this was, it was visible and coming quick.

“Harveson?”

“Get about 300 feet back; I'm inverting the targeting to go for cold instead of hot.”

“Just tell me when you go loud.”

I watched the RPMs fly as the tires ate up those couple hundred feet. I turned us back around in time to see whatever it was destroy the checkpoint building.

“Go loud,” was all I said as I punched it again, trying to keep our distance while also maintaining maneuvering space.

The humvee shook with the force of the cannon as Harveson targeted it among the remains of the checkpoint building. The triangle of darkness coalesced into a featureless human figure standing above the other patrol team. He knelt down over one of them, and… it's not possible.

His arm became a sword, and he stabbed the corporal right below the rib line. As the corporal coughed blood, the creature got close to his face, almost looking like he was going to kiss him. He continued to stab with his arm until the corporal's mouth started to glow. A ball of blueish-white light left the corporal and entered the creature. As he moved to the next Marine, the featureless creature began to grow a face.

This was a demon from fucking hell, and the only person I'd ever loved was in there.

“Is it having any effect?”

“No… What are you thinking, Becker?”

“We get Novo and get back to camp. Try and get them back on the squawk while I go in. Give me some covering fire while you are at it.”

“This is insane. There’s no way I'm letting you do this.”

“Then shoot me with the .25mm when I get out. I'm not leaving them to whatever the fuck that is.”

We sat in silence as whatever it was sucked the light out of another one of the other team.

“I got your 6,” Harveson told me, changing the guns chain to one that was almost all tracers.

This was hopeless. Neither of us was making it out of here. Maybe Novo would. Harveson went loud with the .25mm roof gun, and I hopped out, trying to cover the 300 feet between the ruins of the checkpoint building and our humvee. As I ran toward Novo, I saw the tracer rounds fly past my head, sinking into the ghost in the ruins.

He was lying near where the back wall of where the front room would be if the building were still there. His rifle was trashed, and he was bleeding badly all over his right side. I couldn’t hear the fire as I knelt down over his broken body. I caressed the side of his face, and he slowly opened his eyes. They took a minute to focus while I checked his body for any more visible injuries.

“You broke orders.”

“You can discipline me later,” I told him as I pulled the tourniquet out of the pocket on my leg.

“You came for me,” He told me, eyes locked on mine as I worked it around his arm.

“Of course I did; I'm never as far away as you think. Take a deep breath; this is going to hurt.” I told him as I tightened the tourniquet over his right arm to stem the bleeding. “Can you walk?”

“Probably not,” he told me, looking like he was straining to move his legs.

Fuck. This was going to be a challenge. I looked back and saw Harveson still pouring lead and phosphorus into whatever that demon was, its face gone again.

“Remember when I said that you can discipline me later? Add blowing off leg day to hang with you on that list,” I told him, moving him into a fireman carry.

I had a 200+ pound sack of lover on my shoulders and 300 feet to cover. Easy, no pressure. I tightened my grip on Novo and took off running. My legs burned, and I saw the tracers moving closer. Whatever this fucking thing was, it was chasing us. Fuck.

We were almost at the humvee when I felt searing pain move from my back to my stomach. I saw a shard of pitch black sticking through my body armor. My body locked. I could taste blood. The darkness then pulled out, and I lost control, falling face-first into the ground, dropping Novo.

 

I jolted awake with that feeling of falling. Track simply rolled over, still using me as a pillow. The back of my head and elbows felt the dull ache from where they hit the wall.

Fuck.

I was losing my mind. The only logical explanation is that I was losing my mind. Maybe I needed to burn off some of my aggression, or maybe I just needed to finish yesterday's workout. Some good ol' brain off marine time could help get me centered and get my head in the game.

It had to help more than having another crazy ass dream about him.

Becker.

Just thinking about him made my arm ache. Well, not just my arm. I could almost see him down where Track’s head lay. My chest started to tighten.

No fuck this; I need to do something.

“Hey buddy, I'm just gonna get up here ok,” I said, lifting Track and moving his arms from holding my leg.

“Am I up, coach?” he said, very much still asleep.

“Yer good, champ,” I told him, sliding his pillow under his head.

I slid off my briefs and slid on the fraternity's sweat shorts. I opened the door and found the small sitting room softly lit by a light from the bathroom. I closed the door to our room and softly made my way down the hallway, tracing the steps Teo showed me yesterday morning. It was dark when I got to the gym, so I turned on the lights and closed the door. I had no idea what time it was, and the last thing I wanted to do was get in trouble for waking someone up.

I picked up some weights and started to do some rear flys. One set became five sets, and I moved through my usual circuit. No music, no distractions from my brain except my breathing. The more I worked and tried to shake this feeling, the more I felt like I couldn’t. It didn’t make any sense—this feeling of not being alone even when I was alone.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Teo asked, walking in wearing the same shorts I was.

“Would be a fun way to sleepwalk,” I said, giving him a sly grin.

He handed me a water bottle.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked me.

“No, but also yes? I don't know. I feel like I'm losing my mind,” I said before I could catch myself.

“Why do you think that?” He asked, taking a few steps closer to me.

“I watched myself die in my sleep. Only I wasn't me, I was Becker, and I died saving me. It doesn't make any sense.”

“It was just a dream. I wouldn’t read too much into it.” He said, but looking at him, you could tell he was holding something back.

“It felt real.”

“Last night was your first night in a bed in a week. Before that, you were in transitional housing on post, which is not exactly a deep sleep kinda place. This is probably just your brain working things out.”

I didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or me.

“Yeah, maybe; it's just never been this vivid, though. It's like something has broken through a wall in my brain.”

He nodded. “Sometimes healing hurts worse than the injury,” He said with a slight smile. “Mind if I work in?”

“No problem,” I told him, getting off the bench and letting Teo do some chest presses where I was doing flys.

“So dumb question,” he asked me, “why do you think you guys failed yesterday?”

“It's not real yet; it didn’t feel serious until it was. Maybe yesterday will be enough, but you don't really know until you’ve had to carry someone knowing if you fuck up, they can die. Sometimes you need that reality forced on you,” I said, still very much in my head from earlier.

Harveson, Becker, the whole team of Charlie Echo, and the Checkpoint crew, I failed all of them. It wasn't real until it was. Once it was real, I ended up folded in a corner, Charlie Echo and the Checkpoint crew were decimated, Becker and Harveson…

“Novo, you with me?” Teo asked, snapping fingers in front of my face.

“Yeah, sorry, kinda drifted off there for a minute,” I answered.

“Take a seat; I’ll be right back,” he told me with a concerned look on his face.

I sat there, heart racing, feeling like my chest was about to cave in. I was trying to control my breathing when Teo returned holding a blue and orange can.

“Now, I'm not supposed to give you this, so don't tell Tyler,” he said, handing me the can with a wink. “Maybe this will wake you up without waking up the whole house like the coffee maker will.”

I smiled and took the can. I had a case of these locked away in the fridge at Delta. Precisely what my team needed on a long patrol night.

“I take it those fridges are emptied out,” I asked him.

“Yeah, you failed the first task. No energy drinks or beer is your punishment.” He said, sitting on the ground in front of me. “Not that you will get the opportunity to drink any beer.”

I sipped my energy drink in near silence.

“Something has you shaken more than just the checkpoint dream.” He said matter of factly as if he was no longer trying to convince himself or me to brush this off.

“How do you know what my night terrors are?”

“You were vetted thoroughly before we offered you a bid. We had to know how you would react. This is something different. So what was it.”

“He was here, in my room. He talked about Track. He said he was with me, and it felt like more than just in memory.”

“Does that scare you?”

“Yes. The last time I let myself get distracted by him, seven people died, and I nearly lost my arm. That’s not happening again, not to those seven other pledges. Also, what’s with the questions, Dr. Phil?” I tossed back at him, the liquid gold working its magic.

“Psych major man, getting some clinical time in without having to get dressed,” he answered, sticking his tongue out at me, “and you need it. It's my job to help brothers and future brothers.”

“What do I need?” I asked, missing something.

“Time. Safety. A warm bed where you aren't alone. Some time to get your head on straight.”

“Maybe,” I said, trying to take in the scope.

“Or maybe you need to get drunk and laid,” he said, laughing and smacking my back.

Both were probably true, but the change away from serious was welcome. I finished my set, admiring the veins starting to bulge on my biceps.

“You offering?” I asked, throwing him off his rhythm.

“I uh… not with pledges, bro. That's a hard rule.”

“Really?” I asked, finally seeing a way to make him off balance the way he made me off balance with his emotional questions; I lowered the back of my shorts, so a bit of my hairy crack was showing, “Even when you tempt them with a fuzzy peach.”

“Not. Fair.” He said, obviously flustered.

“You bribed me with caffeine for your Dr. Phil stuff. This is the cost of that.”

“Why do I try to help you again?” he asked, play-punching me.

“It's your job,” I told him.

“I really need to see who else is hiring,” he said with a chuckle.

We did our next few sets in silence. When my water bottle was about done, Teo asked me, “feeling better?”

“Yeah”

“Good. Tyler will be waking you boys up in about 15, giving you just enough time to get Track functional. Go enjoy yer pump, and I’ll hide the empty can for you,” he said with a wink, but the intent was clear; go wake up Track.

I re-racked my weights and made my way back to the bedroom, this time without worrying about my steps being soft enough. When I stepped into the room, it was as if I’d never left. Track was still in the exact spot I had left him. I turned the light on, waiting for the curses to come.

“Ughhh, not yet….” He whimpered before pulling the blanket over his head.

“We really gonna do this again, Track?” I asked, moving to the foot of his bed.

“No, imma get up. I just… 5 more minutes”

I figured he was horny again; I remember being 18, unable to take my hand off my meat. Only he wasn't humping his hand. Instead, his face remained buried in the pillow. He seemed to be actively hiding it as I moved to his side.

“What’s up, champ?”

“Just felt safe last night; I haven’t in a while,” he said, almost sniffling.

That instant, I felt fiery rage at the assholes that hurt this kid and pride I was able to help.

“You are still gonna be safe, champ; now get up before Tyler wakes you up.”

“Ugh, fine,” he said, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

I tossed him his sweat shorts and stepped out of the room to grab another water bottle. Opening the fridges was sad, just bottles of water. No beer, no energy drinks, just water.

“Can you grab me a monster” Track yelled from the room.

“How about a water bottle?” I yelled back, seeing Ryan step into the room.

“Don't be a jerk.”

“I'm not; I can grab you a water or a water.”

“What the hell do you mean,” Track said, stepping out of the room while finally putting on his shorts.

“I mean, we have water, water, and water,” I said, opening the door to show him the empty fridge.

“Awww, are you serious,” Jer said, pulling his shorts on as he walked out of his room.

“Yeah, all we have is water in the fridges,” I said, closing the door with three bottles in one hand.

“Consequences,” Ryan said, still leaning on the wall, watching us get moving.

“For failing last night,” Jer asked him.

“We told you they would happen. It sucks, too, these fridges are the closest to my room, and y'all had good beer. Might wanna get the rest of your pledge class up. Tyler would love nothing more than to catch you boys still asleep. I think fucking with sleeping pledges in the morning is one of the things that truly gives him purpose.”

“I heard that,” echoed from the hall as Tyler yelled at Ryan.

“Can you hear your alarm clock? All these pledges are waiting on you. I thought you wanted to scare these boys awake,” Ryan yelled back.

Those who were up tried to stifle a chuckle as we slowly got the rest of the pledges up. The boys were rubbing sleep from their eyes as Tyler walked down the hall pulling his clothes on.

“Teo told Novo to stop working out early again, didn’t he?” Tyler asked Ryan as he walked into the room.

“Ask Teo, but probably.”

“He won’t let me do my R. Lee. impression, will he?”

That made me choke on my water. This frat guy was going to try and channel one of the most, if not the most, famous drill instructors with an actual marine sitting in front of him: the balls, the absolute balls of this dude to try and pull that off.

“Probably because it's no good,” Ryan said

“Yeah, that’s what Teo says.”

“And Novo would laugh at you,” Kevin said, bringing the pledges into the fray; thankfully, Apollo elbowed him to get him to be quiet and not let his mouth get him and us into more trouble.

Tyler turned to see all of us on the beat-up couches. He got his trademark grin, clapped his hands together, and stepped right in front of Kevin.

“You got jokes, Kevin? You must be feeling outstanding after carrying your pledge brothers last night, don't you? Ask them how they liked going to get breakfast in their underwear. Ask them how they like no energy drinks or beer. Ask Ryan how it felt moving all those beers and drinks out while y’all slept. Ask us how much we like to see you fail.”

He stepped back to the center of the couches and shook his head.

“So I see you already discovered what I said yesterday morning was true; if you fail, things get worse. Kevin just took away something I didn’t want to give you anyway, but it won’t make sense till tonight. It's 8 am on the Monday before classes start. To avoid having you meet your professors before they are acclimated back to being on campus, we will hold off on going to breakfast now, so you can shower and get dressed. We are going to head to breakfast at 9 am. Before we walk to The Commons, I am going to hand you three sheets of paper. One of them is your freshman schedule verification meeting with your advisor. One of them is your shopping list, including all of your books and what you need to get from the bookstore to be a pledge. That second part is a school requirement, so don't complain to me about it. The last page is how you will get into the frat lounge so we can get you when you are all done.

Be polite. While you are out doing what needs done and getting items, you are to talk to no one except your advisors and the people working at the store. If we hear you were rude to the people working the bookstore, there will be hell to pay.

Do you boys understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” most of us answered.

“Better than yesterday, but still not good. Did you understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” we answered in unison.

“Good, you boys can learn,” he said, actually channeling a bit of drill instructor energy.

“You got 1 hour. I expect you showered, dressed as a unit, and ready to go.”

He turned back around and walked to his room.

“There’s a coffeemaker in the kitchen, wasn't there?” I asked as soon as Tyler was out of eyeshot.

“I think so,” Logan answered, still rubbing his eyes.

“I'll go get that started while you decide what we are wearing. I prefer not to meet my advisor in just my underwear,” I said, heading up to the kitchen.

“Be quick, four scoops for a full pot, mugs are right above the coffeemaker, and coffee is in a can in the pantry,” Ryan told me with a wink.

I shot up the stairs and to the kitchen. Honestly, doing something as mundane as filling a coffee maker felt good. Work is all these industrial coffee makers that people come around and maintain for the 24-hour plant operation, and I haven’t had a place to call home for a long time. The simple ritual of putting the filter into the basket and filling it with grounds was peaceful. I filled the pot with the filtered water from the fridge door, knowing that makes the coffee that little bit better, and dumped it into the machine. Hearing the gurgle of the machine and seeing those first few drips was so satisfying. I lifted my arms to pull out a mug and got a whiff of my armpits.

Nope, shower first.

I went back downstairs to hear all the other pledges showering. I grabbed my toiletry bag out of my room and went to shower with the rest of the boys. No limit on hot water, no timers, just Bear, Ryan, and Scott standing around. I walked up to Track while taking off my shorts and grabbing my soap out of my bag.

“How you feeling, champ?”

“Waking up. Shower is helping. Feel like something punched me in my sleep. Weird question, was I flailing in my sleep?”

“Yeah, once I came over, you slept like a baby, though.’

“Came over? What do you mean?” Track asked, soaping his legs up and letting me get under the showerhead

“You don't remember anything? No dreams or anything?”

“I remember someone holding me and something glowing saying someone needed something. I don't know; it's all so fuzzy.”

“Dreams are like that, champ,” I told him, lying and wishing I could have dreams I couldn’t remember. “Get some coffee into you, and you will feel better.”

“I guess. Thanks, Novo.”

“What friends are for, champ,” I told him, tussling his hair.

Track gave me a hug, covered from neck to toe in suds. Our height difference thankfully avoided letting our junk touch.

“Awe cute, also kinda gay, not gonna lie,” Declan said softly.

Track responded by simply extending his middle finger while Bear, Scott, and Ryan stood there laughing.

“Wait, didn’t y’all jerk each other off in here yesterday,” Scott asked.

“That’s different; that was helping brothers out,” Declan defended “our balls didn’t touch.”

“Neither are ours, ya jerk,” Track said, stepping back and showing the height difference.

“Besides, the only one that truly enjoyed it was Travis,” Logan said

“Just cuz it got in my mouth and I swallowed some don't mean I enjoyed it, ya jerk,” Travis defended, throwing soap at Logan.

“It's ok bro; it's prime stuff from me,” Logan said, flexing.

“Next time, use those muscles to get yourself off,” Travis answered, losing the playful tone in his voice.

“Would you feel better if you shot off in my mouth”

“I mean, yeah. You offering?” Travis asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, you are my bro. We gotta take care of each other. If you feel that put upon that I accidentally shot off in your mouth and you accidentally swallowed, then I’ll even the field,” Logan said, rinsing the last of the soap from his massive frame.

Travis was chubbing up at the thought of Logan getting him off again when Scott stepped in

“As fun as that would be, you are down to 40 minutes, and we need you to finish up, get dressed, and for those who need it to get caffeinated before we walk to the commons and see Ms. Olson and get some grub.”

“I'll take that rain check then, bro,” Travis winked at Logan.

“Pretty gay bro,” Logan said back.

Kevin looked like he was taking the lesson from Apollo on keeping his mouth shut while the rest of us laughed at our weird performative dance of proving we had the not-gays while showering and getting off with each other.

We all finished showering and drying, putting on khaki shorts and polo shirts in the same maroon as the sweat shorts we basically lived in with the fraternity logo embroidered on the chest. We also found Adidas high-top hiking shoes in the bottom drawer of our dressers.

“These too?” I asked Track

“I'm going to guess yes; I’ll ask the other guys,” Track answered.

I pulled on the shoes and looked at myself in the mirror. The last time I wore a polo like this was in Germany at a little tavern for a date. Staring at my uneven shoulders and destroyed arm; what I wouldn’t give to have been back there. I almost felt like I was back there, his arms across my chest, hugging me from behind, when Track walked back in and stared at me for a second, looking confused. There was a pregnant pause as I pulled myself together.

“Tucked or untucked, champ?” I asked him, breaking the silence.

“Tucked, I think, might look like a bunch of rich kids, though,” he answered.

“Hey champ, the fraternity you are pledging for just gave you a $200 pair of shoes. I think it's safe to say we can look like rich kids.” I told him with a wink while he pulled his shoes on.

“How do I look?” I asked him as I bucked my belt and gave a twirl.

“Like you are about to go on a date Dad,” he said, making fun of me.

“You little shit, see if I give you coffee,” I said, walking out of the room.

“Wait, there’s coffee,” he said, chasing me.

“Coffee?” Logan asked me, poking his head out of his room.

“Got a pot upstairs; we can do finishing touches upstairs and get caffeinated,” I answered him.

Ryan was sitting at the counter flipping through a magazine in the same spot he stayed posted up yesterday while we were cleaning. I opened the cabinet above the coffee maker and set out 7 cups.

“You not drinking any this morning?” Ryan asked me as Track and Logan walked out of the stairwell leading the charge.

“No, Track doesn't get any because he’s a little shit,” I said, looking at Track.

“Awww come on, Novo, it was just a joke,” Track said, coming to the counter.

I stared at him for just a second before laughing and pulling out a cup.

“And you called me a shit,” he said, taking the cup out of my hand.

“Because you are,” I said, patting his head while he went to get creamer out of the fridge.

I poured myself a cup and stepped out of the way of thirsty under-caffeinated 18-year-olds.

“You play a dangerous game,” Ryan told me as I sat on the stool next to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I wouldn't get between a half-awake Track and coffee. But then I also don't enjoy sleeping sitting up.”

“How did you…”

“I think you will find almost nothing happens in this house without at least a few of us knowing. Like why you are probably only going to drink about a quarter of that cup of coffee before you leave, or why you are always already awake when we get there, or why there has been clanging in the morning since you got here.”

I stared into my coffee cup and was about to respond when Tyler showed up with stacks of papers.

“Ok, gentlemen, just like we talked about downstairs. Each of you are going to get a stack of papers. Don't lose them as I am not a secretary who will reprint stuff for you.

The first sheet is your appointment time and location for your advisor and your class schedule. If you have any questions about this, talk to them, not me.

Your second page is your shopping list at the bookstore. Your lists include your books, notebooks, pens, supplies, and anything else you will need for the semester. You need to get everything on your list, and your lists are not the same.

The last page is how to access the fraternity lounge in the student center. Each of you has a unique passcode; once you have added this to your account, you can use your student ID to access the lounge for the rest of your time in DPH; if you wash out, you also lose access to the lounge. Again if you lose your stack of papers, I will not help you.

While you are on campus, who do you speak to?” Tyler asked

“Only the staff,” we answered.

“Good. I'm glad we all understand each other. As soon as you have these papers, we are gonna get going, so finish your coffee and put your mugs in the sink.”

He called each of us and handed us our packet. The pages were held together in the clip of a pen, but otherwise loose and easy to lose. I folded my pages in half and put them in my pocket, watching a few other guys in the pledge group do the same. We put our mugs in the sink after finishing our coffee, with Ryan correct about how much of mine I would end up drinking.

“Ready, boys?” Ryan asked as we formed up at the front door, with Tyler bringing up the rear with Scott and Bear.

It wasn't a question as he opened the door and led us to the commons to get breakfast. We walked just as we did the day before, two by two, with brothers at the front and the rear. We were the only group like this, and people were giving us space, the reputation of hell week preceding us.

“Well, don't you boys look nice,” Miss Tonya said as Ryan handed her his ID.

“Gotta make a good first impression on the advisors, in case any professors see them.”

“Oh, I don't know; I think yesterday's breakfast would give them the right impression about this lot,” she said, handing his ID back.

“I don't get all day, kiddo, come on now,” she said, pointing to Track.

“Sorry, ma’am,” he said, handing her his ID.

“Now, what did I say about that yesterday, Track?”

‘Ma’am makes you feel old and to call you Miss Tonya.”

“Don't let it happen again,” she said with a wink handing back his ID, “now go eat; it will help.”

“Good morning Miss Tonya,” I said, handing her my ID.

“You gotta be nicer to that boy in the morning; he’s wound higher than girdle on Sunday morning.”

“I was a perfect gentleman, but I know what he’s stressing about,” I said, thinking back to the mall on Saturday.

“Well, get him sorted; you know he looks up to you,” she said, handing me back my ID.

“Yes, Miss Tonya,” I said, taking my ID.

“Atta boy, now go eat and stop clogging my line.”

“Yes, Miss Tonya,” I said, taking a tray and walking towards the food.

Ryan had already staked out a table near the middle of the wall of tables. Track’s plate was loaded down, and he was headed that way. I grabbed a plate of pre-made eggs and hash browns and headed to sit across from Track.

“You know I can cover you at the bookstore,” I told him, unwrapping my silverware from the napkin.

“I think I can cover it. I know I have financial aid for the books. The rest of it, though,” he said, his face starting to show that same fear I saw on Saturday.

“Like I said, I can cover you. Don't stress, champ. You deserve to be here, don't let some nickels and dimes make you feel like you don't.” I told him, stabbing some eggs.

He smiled at me as Declan, Logan, and Jer sat down with their plates piled with food. To be 18 again and have the metabolism for all that food. The conversation was full of nervous banter as we knew we would be separating after this, meaning it would be harder to avoid talking to anyone. The meal hall also felt busier than it had in the past, as more people came back to campus after the summer. As more upper-level students went through the turnstile by Miss Tonya, I felt less like the old man but still clearly one of the older men on campus.

“You boys might wanna take a look at your times,” Tyler said after many of us lost track of time in the banter.

SHIT

My appointment was at 10:30 in the veteran's hall on the other side of the quad, and the clock on the wall said it was already 10:10. Jer and Kevin looked similarly perplexed.

“Go, ill take care of your tray,” Track told me as I got up.

“I owe you one,” I said as I got up.

“Thank you, Miss Tonya,” I said, slowly jogging out of the commons and into the corner of the quad.

Twenty minutes to get across the quad and find her office. No biggie. It was a 15-minute walk, so likely a 10-minute jog. Easy, no pressure. I started to jog across the grass. Thankfully it was still early enough that the quad had not filled with sunbathers and other students looking to blow off some steam and get out of the unairconditioned dorm buildings to enjoy the shade of the big trees. I ran up the stairs to the building and opened the doors to the spartan lobby. The fluorescent lights hummed with a dim yellowish glow from the water-stained diffusers. I found the directory board and made my way up another stairwell to get to the 2nd floor. I made my way through the labyrinth of offices and stopped at the office with “Ms. Ellie Bradford” stenciled on the glass. I sat in the small waiting area and looked at the clock, with 5 minutes to spare. Around me, other offices with names stenciled on the glass fed out of this waiting room while a lone ceiling fan spun lethargically, shaking itself around more than effectively moving any air.

“Mr. Novotny,” a brunette woman younger than me called.

“Yes, Maam, Ms. Bradford?”

“Yes, please, come in.”

I followed her in, closing the door behind me. Whereas the waiting area was a drab and poorly kept-up affair, this office was bright and cheery. Several plants sat on the window sill while stacks of folders sat precariously underneath. Another bookshelf full of files was behind me as I sat down.

“OK, Issac, can I call you Issac?”

“Prefer Novo if you don't want to do the whole Novotny game.”

“Novo, awesome, love that. OK. So let's go through your file here. Your advisor could not get anything free today, so I will be doing her bit and mine for you. I hope that’s ok?”

Before I got a chance to answer, she was off again.

“So let's get my part out of the way first. So I still don't have a dorm room for you which is insane. Don't get me started on housing. But I got a call from a lovely man named Teo that said you were pledging for a fraternity which means you have accommodation until you either wash out of the pledge process or choose you don't want to live in the house, so that takes the stress off of me. I will keep the housing request in until you finish pledging, but it's much less paperwork to have it in reserve than having them chase down a bed for you, even though Teo said it shouldn’t be a worry. Now for the financials, your GI bill will cover 75% of your costs, and your housing allowance will cover part of your fraternity fees as long as you live there.

Before you moved into the house, did you have some temporary housing after your transition ran out?”

She finally stopped long enough that it was clear she wanted an answer.

“No, I was sleeping in my car,” I said with a bit of shame.

“Really? well then, that changes the calculus a bit in your favor. So you didn’t have a short-term lease or anything? No documented housing arrangement at all?” She asked, now taking her time to speak.

“No. Just sleeping in the back seat of my car for almost a month,” I said, feeling more broken repeating it.

“Ok, well, I have some good news; it looks like you qualify for the homeless veteran interdiction program. That means your fraternity fees will be paid for the rest of the year as long as they provide you with housing. We can set that up to come directly to them or have it go in with your disability, and then you pay the fraternity, whichever you prefer, and don't worry, you don't have to do it now.” She said, typing on her computer, looking at changing numbers with this new information.

“Now, for your advisor's part, you needed an in-person class because you are doing on-campus dining and activities. Again Teo was nice enough to give us your regular work schedule, so we got you a physics class that’s in-person lecture and lab, which provides you with your science requirement and three nights of in-person courses.

Do you have any questions for me?” She said, finally finishing.

“Umm… not really,” I said, a bit overwhelmed by the information she just threw at me.

“Ok, well if you think of anything, here’s my card. Call me when you figure out how you want your fraternity fees to get to you. Around midterms, make sure to see your actual advisor or come back to me, and we will get your schedule for spring set up, ok?” She said, handing me her business card.

“Ok, will do.”

“And Mr. Novotny, do the Marines proud with those frat boys.”

“I'll do my best, Ma’am,” I said with a smile.

“Can you send the next one in? I only get up for war heroes,” she said with a wink.

“Will do, ma’am,” I said, stepping out of the office and nodding at the expectant young marine officer candidate sitting in the same seat I waited in.

I looked at the clock. 10:40. A whole 10 minutes to be told my 100% online class load was no longer 100% online. The good news was that the VA was finally doing something right. I made my way out of the veteran's building and found a bench under a tree on the quad. I pulled out my sheets of paper and looked at my schedule. I had in-person classes three days a week; two days were lecture hall and one day a lab. You know, maybe this wouldn’t be that bad. I sat people-watching as the quad became filled with more people. Parents moving their kids back into the dorms were everywhere along the sides as students filled the quad to sunbathe or hang out.

“Excuse me, Sir, but are you Issac Novotny?” a man in a green windbreaker and black slacks asked me.

“Umm, yes,” I answered, confused.

“Amazing, I am Special Agent McKnight, and this is Agent Lamb,” he said, introducing a similarly dressed man. “Before we start, we want to thank you for your duty to our country. Your actions reflect the best of what we see in the Marines. Because of your impeccable military record, we wanted to introduce ourselves. We are investigating what happened and continues to happen to you. Our investigation has revealed some facts about you and your associates that don't add up. Now that you have a steady communication path, we would like you to notify us if you see anything unusual in your actions with your associates.” He handed me two business cards, one for each of them.

“I'm sorry, I'm lost. What is this concerning.”

“Please, sir, report anything out of the ordinary. Divulging much more information than that may be a risk to the investigation. Have a good rest of your morning.”

Weird. I added their cards onto a stack and watched them go into the veteran's building, no doubt to have a competition for who could talk faster with Ms. Bradford. Kevin seemed to spot me and made his way toward me while I continued to enjoy the morning breeze.

“Hey Novo, we are meeting at the bookstore when we are done, then doing the frat lounge. Wanna join” he asked, unsure of what my reaction would be.

“Yeah, buddy, I was just keeping an eye out for you guys,” I said, getting up and pushing the weird feelings from those agents down into the back of my mind.

“Man, they push you through these meetings fast, don't they,” Kevin said as we walked across to the student center.

We went inside and crossed over to the bookstore, taking up the entire left side of the student center. We walked into the massive store and worked down our lists, eventually stopping at the textbook desk to get our textbooks and lab manuals. As we worked through, the rest of the pledge class ended up with us, in line to check out.

“You serious about what you said earlier,” Track asked me, trying to keep his voice down.

“Yeah. Just put your stuff down with mine, and we will put it all on my card.” I told him, feeling his anxiety melt away.

“Hey, you are the Delta Psi Theta pledges, aren't you” the guy working the end of the line telling people which register to go to asked.

“Uhh yeah,” Track answered.

“Cool, you should be able to scan your ID. You don't have to worry about floating it on a card and stuff. At least that's how I've seen it work before.”

“No shit, thanks, uhh, Darrin,” Track said, looking at his nametag.

“No problem, man; good luck this week; I hear it's tough.”

“It's hell,” Logan said with a chuckle.

His bad joke met with a chorus of jeers and boos from the rest of us, with his smile only getting bigger from our dislike of his dad joke.

A register opened up, and Track went over, being the ballsy one. Just as Darrin said, they scanned his ID and bagged up his stuff without payment. Weird.

We all did the same thing, made our way down to the frat lounge, and attached access to our IDs. For the first time since becoming pledges, we had nothing really to do for a bit. The guys bantered back and forth, but with nothing to focus on, my mind did what it tends to do; it wandered.

I thought of our three nights in Germany. Our only actual date. The almost childish excitement of being alone together. I was twirling my pen in my fingers, staring at the middle distance, when I noticed the rest of my pledge brothers staring at me.

“What?” I asked them, extremely confused.

“You are shimmering,” Kevin answered with his trademark lack of tact.

“I need more than that,” I answered with more annoyance than I meant on my tongue.

“You started to shine with little threads of white light,” Logan answered me.

“You were doing the same thing this morning getting dressed. Little threads of light coming around your chest.”

My heart started to race, and it began to get harder to breathe. This couldn't be real. This was just a dream. I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to.

“Do any of you remember your test to get into here, into being a pledge?” I asked with a hint of panic in my voice.

Only Logan spoke up, “I remember a white room; looking at my hand, it was encased in white and glowing, I think? Im not sure. It's like trying to recall details from a dream; the more you try, the less you can remember.”

I knew that feeling too well. It's why I had to ask Teo. It's why I clung to any shred of tangible facts of myself, the rest of my life seemingly a dream. Sometimes I wasn't sure if what happened at the base was real…

“Anyone else?”

The rest just shook their heads.

“None of this makes any sense, and I don't pretend to think it does. But this kinda thing happened a ton when I was growing up. When I was scared of the dark, little gossamer strings of light would sprout from the ground. When I was lonely random pieces on a board would move. This morning when I was missing my… brother… I could almost feel his arms across my chest. But I always thought they were dreams.” I said in a measured tone, controlling my breathing.

“Is this why you don't sleep?” Track asked me.

“Way to put ALL my details out there, champ!” I said back with a joke, desperate to break the tension.

Before they could pester me for more answers, Sam, Colton, and Tyler walked into the lounge.

“What a sorry group of pledges, just sitting on couches in a lounge,” Colton said, taking off his sunglasses.

“To be fair, they were speedy in the bookstore,” Sam said while taking off his.

“True. Most of them even followed the rules. Come on, back to the house.”

We got up, me still feeling unsure about others seeing the light. It had always been something I thought I imagined, a dream, a delusion. But other people saw them.

“Novo! You listening,” Tyler screamed at me as we stood outside the house.

“Sorry, Sir”

“Would someone else like to inform Novo of what you will be doing”

“Stripping naked, putting all our dirty clothes into the washer, putting on silkies and the shoes we got this morning, and meeting back in the garage,” Track yelled back.

“Well, at least your roommate is paying attention for you. Get to it,” Tyler shouted back.

I was in a daze following the motions. I tossed my bag of books at the foot of my bed and pulled off my clothes, following Track's movements. I followed him, carrying my clothes to the laundry room.

“Does anyone know how to use a washing machine?” Kevin asked after all our clothes were loaded in the washer.

“Oh wait, I know how!” Track said.

That gave me a bit of pride. In less than a week, he went from lost to confident, at least at this task. He even saw a shadow with me and trusted me enough to stand behind me as if I could keep him safe. Like I had ever kept anyone safe. But if the light is real, that means I was able to make a saber out of it. That means I could try to make him safe. I could try to keep all of them safe. I pulled my silkies on as my mind raced with the possibilities. I was so lost in thought that I barely noticed the bag in Teo’s hand when he walked towards me.

“Pledges, normally this is a Tyler thing, but since this task is an all-hands-on-deck event, it's fallen to me. This morning Novo said that the reality of where you find yourselves hasn’t fully hit everyone. I believe you summed it up quite eloquently ‘it's not real until it is.’ Well, hopefully, y’all learn to trust each other quick because your survival now relies on each other. Welcome to the Trial of the Mountaintop.’

He took a step forward and put the black bag over my head. Before he pushed me into the van, he whispered in my ear, “keep em safe, sergeant.”

The panic was now in full effect.