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    mcarss
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Deeds of Their Past - 7. Chapter Seven

Nathan woke to a hand shaking his shoulder. Rubbing his eyes, Griff’s concerned face came into focus.

“I think it’s time you found your way out of Remich, friend,” he said quietly.

“What’s going on?”

“Word is there’s a detachment of the royal guard coming to town this morning. They report of two dangerous men who escaped the dungeon at Helmsley Keep.”

Nathan turned to peek out the window. The sun was still well below the horizon. “Can we hide out here?”

Griff shook his head. “I really think it’d be best if you two made yourselves scarce.”

Nathan sighed. “Okay. We’ll need provisions and horses. Could you help us with that?”

He nodded and turned to depart.

“Griff.” Nathan stopped him. “Thanks for watching out for us.”

“Somebody’s gotta do it,” he said with a grin and left the room.

Brohm, snoring loudly, remained fast asleep. Leaning over, Nathan grabbed his shoulder to wake him. The big man woke with a snort and snagged his hand, twisting it with overwhelming power.

Nathan yelled out in pain. “What’s the big idea?”

Brohm immediately let go and offered a tired sigh. “Sorry. Old habits die hard.”

While Nathan shook feeling back into his hand, Brohm yawned and peered out the window. “It’s still dark out. Why’d you wake me?”

Nathan explained the situation that they needed to leave immediately.

“Maybe we could hide out at my Pa’s farm,” Brohm said, pondering.

“Where is it?”

“Not far. Near the mountain range between Summerton and Oxollo.”

They headed downstairs to the common room, finding a few men asleep, sprawled over tables and on the floor. A barmaid carrying a tray moved about the room, collecting glasses and tankards. Griff came in from the front entrance.

“I’ve secured two horses. They’re being saddled now. The stablehand knows you’re coming and’ll bring them to you.”

Griff continued walking to the bar as he spoke. “I’ve gathered some dry goods I had in store. It’s not much, but better than nothing.”

He handed Nathan a package wrapped in cloth. “You’ll find some bread and some dried meat. It’ll keep you going for a day or two.”

Nathan stored the package in his rucksack, and clasped arms with Griff. “Thank you for everything. How much for the horses and food?”

Griff waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it.”

Nathan smiled. “You’re a good friend.”

“You owe me. Safe journey to both of you.”

Brohm shook the barkeeper’s hand, and they turned to leave.

“I almost forgot,” Nathan said. “I was hoping to see Danny before I left, but there’s no time. When you see him next, be sure to let him know I said ‘thanks for everything’, okay?” Nathan flipped a coin to the barkeeper. “And to have a round on me.”

Griff’s face blanched.

“What?” Nathan asked.

“It’s Danny. He’s . . . not with us anymore.”

Nathan blinked.

“There was a fire three days ago,” Griff continued. “They found his body, what was left of it, in his home. Nobody knows how it started.”

Nathan’s skin flushed ice cold. His mind flashed with the memory of men leaving Helmsley Keep the night he arrived. He knew in his heart, he was the reason Danny was dead. Speechless, he left the inn in a daze, leaving Brohm to catch up behind him. The big man watched him closely, clearly wanting to comfort him, but wasn’t sure how. Upon reaching the stables, he gestured to Nathan to stay put.

“I’ll take care of this,” he said quietly.

Nathan stood there, blank-faced, watching Brohm speak with the stablehand. Returning with two horses, he handed one set of reins to Nathan, who took them without pause. While Brohm led them down the quiet main street, Nathan glanced up at the pre-dawn sky, stars still twinkling. They usually offered him solace, but now, he felt nothing. Finally arriving at the gate, Brohm painted a smile and waved at the two guardsmen.

“G’morning,” he said.

“Morning?” one of the men grunted. “It’s hardly light enough to call this morning.”

“Yuh, I suppose. We’ve a long road ahead of us. Wanted to get an early start,” Brohm said.

“Clearly. No other reason to be up at this ungodly hour.”

The two gatekeepers didn’t seem to care who they were, and opened the gate without delay. Riding through, they made their way to the road, and headed east toward the brightening horizon.

* * *

They rode hard toward Summerton with Brohm leading the first few hours. But as Nathan recovered from the shock of Griff’s news, he spurred his horse past Brohm, forcing him to follow. Stomach in knots, he couldn’t help but be worried about Samuel. He could hear the man’s hefty laugh, and imagined him saying that nothing was wrong. He hoped he was worrying for nothing.

It wasn’t until the sun was nearly overhead that Nathan finally spoke. “It was my fault.”

Brohm knew he’d said something, but couldn’t hear with the wind rushing in his ears. “What?”

Nathan slowed his horse, allowing Brohm to ride up beside him. “It’s my fault Danny’s dead.”

“How? Weren’t you with me when the fire broke out?”

Nathan sighed. “It’s a long story. But it involves Lord Helmsley and his magick-dabbling alchemist.”

Brohm’s ears seemed to perk up. “Magick? Really?”

Nathan nodded, staring at the road ahead.

“Why did Helmsley have him killed?”

“I don’t know for sure. But I led him to Danny without even knowing it.”

“How can it be your fault if you didn’t know?” Brohm asked.

“It doesn’t matter whether I knew or not. He’s dead because of my actions,” Nathan said, his voice on edge.

“Let’s keep moving, yuh?” Brohm suggested.

Nathan answered by urging his horse to a gallop.

By mid-afternoon, he recognized the few landmarks that announced Summerton was near, and the long grass covering the countryside soon gave way to farmland. Mostly corn, but also potato, carrot and turnip. The thought of food made his stomach rumble, and he realized they’d never stopped to eat. His singular goal had been to reach Summerton as quickly as possible. He glanced back at Brohm. He looked tired, yet seemed determined to follow without complaint, and Nathan silently thanked his friend for being so understanding.

The small village soon became visible on the horizon of gentle hills, yet Nathan felt something was amiss. He couldn’t see the Willow Inn, which easily towered the small buildings of the settlement. Arriving in the village proper, the villagefolk going about their business stopped to stare as they passed. The inn finally came into view, and Nathan looked on in despair. The charred remains of the building had fallen in on itself. The massive willow tree—its namesake—was a blackened skeleton, its thin branches burnt away, leaving only a dead husk standing over the collapsed building.

Nathan leaped off his horse and ran to the collapsed building. Three men stood nearby, inspecting the damage. A grey-haired man caught sight of Nathan, and held out his arms to stop him.

“Whoa, whoa! Slow down, son. It’s dangerous in there.”

Not meaning to put up a struggle, Nathan took a few steps back and surveyed the area.

“What happened?” he asked, out of breath.

“A tragedy,” the man said, shaking his head. “A fire hotter than I’ve ever seen. No amount of water quenched its thirst.”

“But how did it happen?” Nathan demanded.

He shook his head again and shrugged. “It was the middle of the night. Nobody knows how it started.”

“What about Samuel? Did he make it out alright? He was a friend of mine.”

“He was a friend to us all,” he said, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry, son. A number of poor souls lost their lives that night, including Samuel.”

Nathan, mouth agape, stepped away from the man, and Samuel’s warning flashed into his mind again. Had Nathan listened to that intuition, everything could’ve been different. Brohm, the only person left Nathan cared for, stood in the distance, holding the reins of their two mounts. Closing the space between them with determination, Nathan stood toe to toe with him, yet found himself forced to stare up due to his height.

“We’re parting ways,” Nathan said simply.

Brohm gave a look of bewilderment. “But—”

“There’s no discussion. Give me the reins.”

Brohm reluctantly handed them over and Nathan mounted up.

“Don’t follow me,” he said, suddenly overcome with a sense of déjà vu from their first meeting. Ignoring the pained look of dismay on Brohm’s face, he forcefully dug his heels into the horse’s flanks, and fled back west through the village to the rolling hills of the countryside.

He had no idea where to go, but it didn’t matter. He only needed get away from Brohm. As much as he tried to fight it, tears streamed down his face, and he screamed out with every ounce of strength he had, cursing the sky.

© 2013 Mike Carss
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

13 hours ago, drpaladin said:

Nathan hasn't provided any philosophy behind what he does beyond for coin and getting rid of problems. He's not a stellar example of humanity and morality himself.

Indeed. In case it wasn't obvious by this point, I wanted to write a story from the bad guys POV, yet still have the reader root for them. As you've seen, Lord Helmsley is flawed in his own ways, but he's still technically the good guy in this story. He had Danny and Samuel killed (also "bad guys") although some innocent folk at the Willow Inn were caught in the blaze as well. In hindsight, I would've changed it so those innocents weren't harmed.

12 hours ago, drpaladin said:

There has been no indication of Nathan or Samuel doing any due diligence in vetting these contracts and it's this method which has put him and all who know him in this fix.

Yeah, that's left to the reader's imagination. Going into that kind of minutiae would only bog down the story. What's done is done, and they have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

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On 3/10/2024 at 10:26 AM, mcarss said:

Indeed. In case it wasn't obvious by this point, I wanted to write a story from the bad guys POV, yet still have the reader root for them. As you've seen, Lord Helmsley is flawed in his own ways, but he's still technically the good guy in this story. He had Danny and Samuel killed (also "bad guys") although some innocent folk at the Willow Inn were caught in the blaze as well. In hindsight, I would've changed it so those innocents weren't harmed.

Yeah, that's left to the reader's imagination. Going into that kind of minutiae would only bog down the story. What's done is done, and they have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

From someone who thrives on minutiae, I find it hard to believe.

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4 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

From someone who thrives on minutiae, I find it hard to believe.

One of the many reasons I started writing was in protest to a number of novels I had been reading beforehand. (In case you're curious, I have no idea what novels they were. It was a long time ago.) They frustrated me with details I didn't care about, nor did they feel relevant to the overarching plotlines.

For this story, I started with a simple idea and just had the characters lead me while I transcribed. I wanted to keep the scope small. It was originally supposed to be a short story, then novella, before ending up around 75k words. I wound up cutting out 10k in the editing process. I didn't cut out any plot details, either. It was just extraneous fluff.

The backstory of Helmsley's son and why he was assassinated does nothing to advance Nathan and Brohm's story. That's why it's not in there. That you care enough to want to know is humbling -- that I've written something that you care enough to ask. I feel bad that I can't provide you with the answers you seek.

Anyway, all that said, I feel you would've been a very helpful beta reader. The few I had offered some great nuggets of insights, but never asked the questions you have.

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On 3/16/2024 at 8:28 AM, mcarss said:

The backstory of Helmsley's son and why he was assassinated does nothing to advance Nathan and Brohm's story.

Sure it does. I'm not saying what you write is wrong. Just that I can see how it might have advanced the story.

1) It provides a certain closure to Lord Helmsley's rage.
2) Provide the reason why Nathan did what he did and
3) Reveals who wanted the Heir dead. (That's 3 things that further the story.)
    3a) Nathan could send the guys head to Helmsley as a peace offering?
4) This now could give Nathan the impetus to inquire about the who and why in future endeavors. (but that would turn him into a sort of good guy!)

What's done is done, however. So far, I'm enjoying the story, so please, don't take this as criticism. It's just a difference of opinion.

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6 hours ago, Al Norris said:

What's done is done, however. So far, I'm enjoying the story, so please, don't take this as criticism. It's just a difference of opinion.

While my earlier comments were a bit defensive, my attitude has since changed. You said it exactly: "just a difference of opinion," and not at all wrong, either. The events that occur before the start of this story were simply a vehicle to put Nathan (and Brohm) in a terrible situation. I didn't care about those details when I was writing because neither Nathan or Brohm would care. All they're trying to do is survive.

In any case, I was middle of writing the first draft of my third novel while posting these chapters, and I took those constructive criticisms to heart. The biggest takeaway was to make sure the MC doesn't take overly dangerous risks or make bad decisions based on what he already knows. That's not to say he doesn't get into trouble, but I hope his reasons are understood and accepted. Both in this book and the sequel, readers have commented on Nathan's "stupidity." In hindsight, these "stupid" choices were my way to create tension -- poorly executed, I suppose. 😉

I appreciate the comments you've written in the many chapters. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story, and perhaps read the sequel, which I feel is much better in many ways.

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