Tragedia Et Amor - 4. Chapter 4

July 2004. Today is Wednesday, and I have to work the late shift on the night dive. I love night dives. It’s a whole different world and a different diver that comes out for them. These are the serious divers, ones with hundreds, a lot of times, thousands of hours of dive time. The best stories and tips come from these people. Tonight, would be the first time I’ve worked directly with Quinn since that Sunday, three weeks ago. If I remember correctly, this is the first full day he has worked since last Sunday, too. Which is normal for during the week as we run a skeleton crew. Except for the days on which we have dive trips scheduled. Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are usually the off days for boat crews. Mike and Pam wanted to work this week since they missed that weekend by only taking Tuesday off. They did the same thing last week too. Wednesday is usually our first series of trips for the week with the big boats that hold 14 divers and 3 crew. Quinn has done good, according to Mike, and we assigned him to Mike’s boat. For the night dive, I act as second to the Dive Master, giving us 4 crew for safety reasons.

The weather is changing as we dived the old oil rig. It was another fantastic display of fish and coral growth lit by hand lights. Back on the dive boat, the rain had started, and Quinn was putting our plastic curtains up to close off the rear of the seating area for our onboard heaters to warm. Despite the boats being powered by two diesel outboards, we occasionally use a 7-kilowatt generator to provide auxiliary power for heating on nights like this. The winds had changed, and the ride was rocky on the way back. Quinn had sat next to me.

“Hi. How is it going?” I said. Kind of unhappy I haven’t really talked to him about this trip yet until now. He gave me a smile. Not exactly friendly, mixed with a touch of sadness and tiredness.

“It’s going well so far. How are you doing? Are you warm enough?” He asked as I saw his eyes flick to my leg and back to my eyes.

“It’s OK. I’m wearing the 5mm suit to keep warmer.” And it was. I was sweating underwater, but up here I was chilled in the rainy night air with us doing 20 knots.

“I have snacks if you’re interested.” Quinn said as he grabbed his bag and pulled it up on his lap. I smiled in thanks.

“No. Thank you, Quinn. I’ll be fine. When I get home tonight, I’ll soak in my tub as usual.” We went silent after that exchange.

* * *

It took us over an hour to get back in as we had to slow to 12 knots because the seas were coming up. Of course it poured too. Just one of the cold, wet nights we sometimes get. Just enough wind to make it annoying. I changed into my hoodie and track pants before we docked. I had the head oversized when we had these boats built so I could change comfortably, in privacy. Didn’t want to upset our clients with my scars. It was another hour of cleaning up the boat, bleeding and filling the air tanks for tomorrow’s dives and double checking all the previous work done today before I was ready to leave. Waiting inside as everyone said their good nights and punched out, I motioned for Quinn to wait.

“I’ll toss your bike on my rack and drive you home tonight.” I said as I shook hands with Mike and Pam on their way out. Quinn’s face clouded with emotions before he hid them.

“You don’t have to, it’s alright. I know you’re in pain.” He replied.

“You’re right. I don’t have to. But I will. No sense in you getting wetter than you already are.” I said as I set the alarm and motioned him out the door. Once I had it locked, we took off for the parking lot, loaded his bike, and jumped in my Jeep. I had it started and fired up the heat as I waited for it to warm up.

“How is it going? Really going, I mean. Aiden said your mother is fighting with your dad about your working.” I asked softly as we sat listening to the rain pelt off the Jeep. Quinn tensed, then sighed.

“It’s no different from any other day with Mom,” Quinn said, and I waited for him to continue. “She’s concerned that something is going to happen. Like you punching me again.” I snorted, which made him look towards me.

“Did you tell her you survived almost a month working near me and you’re still alive?” That made him laugh a little as he put his head back against the headrest as I dropped the shifter into reverse and backed out of the spot.

“That was what Aiden basically said on the first day.” He paused again, and I felt he had more to say. “Thanks for letting me work here, Orion. For protecting me. I appreciate it and I know it was hard for you to do it. Even if you were desperate for help.”

“Not as desperate as it may have seemed. I called Aiden because my mom didn’t want me going out alone on the boat that day. But you have done a good job for us and worked hard, so I think I made the right decision, and you are welcome.” I said as I pulled into his driveway. And there was more than that. A few of the local’s that knew of our history had questioned why he was there those first few days. I made it a point to tell everyone that I hired him. He overheard me doing it. We jumped out and unlatched his bike from my bike rack. Saying our good nights in the rain before I went home.

* * *

Mom had left me a plate of leftovers for my dinner in my kitchen, which I microwaved and ate at my table. Thinking about Quinn and our limited talk. I did what I thought was necessary and made sure I didn’t work directly with him very often. Aiden has kept me up on the latest family gossip. Apparently, his dad is fighting with his mother about Quinn staying here for his senior year, as he is doing better than he has with her. Of course, in her mind, it isn’t about Quinn, but about her losing her child support. Not that she would come out and say it. I sighed as I finished my dinner and went for my evening soak before heading to bed.

The next morning, I was in the shop early as I had paperwork to do and some research for a new idea. The day crew filtered in as I started the inventory I wanted to finish this morning before lunch. We only had a 6-person dive for the morning and a 12-person dive this afternoon. It also looked like Friday through Monday. We were full steam ahead, all boats loaded for dive tours. I also had to field a call from our boat designers down in Australia. They had some questions they needed answered and were going to send up the preliminary second design on Monday with all the corrections we wanted from the first design. I looked up as I finished the last rack of suits to see Quinn smiling. He waved as he passed through the shop to the office, and I gave him a smiling nod. He wore a noticeably happier expression, confirming Aiden’s observation. Blowing a breath out through my lips, I continued with my inventory.

Quinn

When I got home, Aiden and Dad were sitting at the table talking. They even grabbed me a plate of food and warmed it up while I took a fast shower and changed out of my wet clothing. Aiden was looking rather pleased with himself when I came back into the kitchen. That is always a bad sign. I thought as I sat to eat.

“Who gave you a ride home?” Aiden asked with his patent smirk.

“Orion.” Dad smiled and then he became serious.

“What do you think, Quinn? Do you want to stay, take your senior year classes here or go back to your mom’s?” Dad asked. This is going to be nothing but a battle with mom.

“Like she is going to let me stay here, dad. I’m nothing but her child support ticket. She’ll fight you every step of the way.” I said with annoyance. Because I was. Ever since she thought she could use me for money, it has always been the same thing. She fights tooth and nail for me to stay with her.

“True, and she already is. I am asking because we all know that your eighteenth birthday is coming in September.” He paused. Waiting for me to comment, which I didn’t, but Aiden did.

“What I mentioned to Dad, and now I will tell you, is that we could register you down here for school. If mom doesn’t let you stay, you go back to her place for the first few weeks of school. Then when you turn 18 in September. You come back here. Mom won’t be able to stop you.” He said. Both of them were looking at me for my reaction as I set my fork down and sat back, thinking about it. He had a point. I am sure that if I talked to Orion, I could keep my job. I looked at Aiden, who had the smirk I wanted to smack right off his face.

“Orion would like it if you stayed. Have you talked to him yet?” Aiden said. Dad was listening intently for my answer.

“Not yet. He arranged it so he doesn’t work with me often.”

“But he stood up for you those first days? Told everyone he hired you? And he worked with you, brought you home because of the rain tonight?” Aiden asked.

“Yes. I just haven’t had the chance to talk to him.”

“Well. Tomorrow night is the local bonfire. Why don’t you invite him? I’ll go too.” Both he and dad were smiling at me. Encouraging me to do it. I released a soft sigh.

“Fine. I’ll ask him if he’ll meet us there.” Aiden smiled even more as he squeezed my shoulder.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I was happier than normal. Aiden and Dad had figured out a way I could stay here. Even if it means I have to go home to Mom’s for almost four weeks. I just need to explain to Orion what is going on and I need to really talk to him. To apologize for all those years ago. It wasn’t long before I was at work and dropping into my routine when I spotted Orion working in the shop. I waved on my way to the office to grab my clipboard with my daily work orders on it. On my way out, I made my way over to him and waited as he finished counting a line of items.

“Morning Orion.” I said, as he turned. A smile on his face, one eyebrow raised.

“Hi Quinn. How are you today?” He asked with a curious tilt to his voice.

“Good. Thank you. Aiden and I are going to the bonfire tonight. I was wondering if you were going?” I said quickly before I lost my nerve. I saw the flash of surprise before Orion hid it, but he hesitated before he answered. Which was a cue that I caught him off guard with that question.

“Yes. I can go. Meet you there about 7?” he asked. I nodded as I flushed a little.

“Sounds good. I need to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight.” I said as I moved away before something stupid came out of my mouth. I thought I heard him make a sound, though.

Orion

“Huh.” Was all I could produce as I watched Quinn practically run out of the shop. “Was I just asked for a date?” I asked myself. Because I really didn’t know. I shook my head and went back to work. Thinking I’ll have to hit the store for brownie mix and nuts. Laundry needs to be done, and I need a haircut… That was followed by many other thoughts I tried to shake off as I worked. The morning dive was setting up and I should get out there for that.

By 2 pm, I finished my work for the day and informed Mom that I would go to the store to get supplies for the bonfire tonight. She smiled as she asked me to pick her up a few things and told me to order a pizza for dinner instead of cooking. That would save me time. By 3 pm, my kitchen looked like a bomb hit it as I dropped one of the bags of brownie mix and spilled a half cup of chopped walnuts. Buzzer was going off on the laundry. That needed to go into the dryer, and I set the oven to the wrong temperature. By four, the laundry was on the extra dry cycle as I vacuumed the kitchen while the brownies cooled. My leg was making painful reminders that I needed to get off it for 30 minutes or so. The doorbell chimed. Which I am sure is the pizza delivery.

By 5 pm, Mom was coming in and we ate pizza together as she looked around the kitchen and then at me.

“What’s up? Hot date tonight?” She asked, and I almost choked on my pizza as she chuckled. “The look on your face. Anyone I should know about?”

“Mom. I’m just meeting Aiden and Quinn over at the bonfire. Do you want to go? I’m not staying past 10.” She stopped eating as she gave me an appraising look with her lips puckered before she smiled.

“OK. If you sing, I’ll go for a while. I’ll bring my car in case you need yours for something else. I haven’t been to one in a while. Getting out would do me good.” She said. She trapped me really, by including the, sing for me and I haven’t been out, routine. Works every time.

By 6:45 we were good to go and pulling onto the beach, heading for the area that is always reserved for us. It’s really an off chute of the local chamber. We pay an extra 20 dollars a year to cover the cost of the fire permit each week. They also made a deal that we get use of the same spot all the time, even having signs made a few years ago that proclaimed it as a private party area and would always be used on Thursday and sometimes Saturday nights. Park Rangers have made it a point to tell the local campground our parties are off limits, not open to the public. And that is because of the off-duty Rangers, Police, Sheriff’s Department, Beach Services, Town Employees, Fire Department, County Rescue, Chamber of Commerce members… bottom line. All locals. There is a committee that makes sure things are ready each week. Everything has always been a group effort.

Quinn

We were late and didn’t arrive until after 7. Aiden was teasing me, acting like it was a date. Deep down, it was a date. I was going to talk to Orion and try to let him into my life. Orion was looking good, as always, when I spotted him talking with a group of people that he obviously knew. His mother was here too. That helped to comfort me, as I would at least know somebody. Then I picked out Mike and Pam from work and a few other people as I led Aiden straight to Orion.

“Quinn. Just relax. It’s all people that we know. You’ll be fine.” Aiden whispered from behind me. I noticed a few looks before we arrived at the group. A tall, strong guy standing next to a mountain of a man was laughing before he stopped and looked our way. Eyes intent on Aiden? That is something I’ll have to investigate later, but for now, Orion just turned, and his smiling eyes landed on me.

Caleb

My smile brightened my face as I saw Aiden walking with Quinn towards us. This should be an interesting evening, as I haven’t seen Quinn or Orion together since the Thursday night after the dive trip. Aiden had told me he thinks there is something between them, but Quinn is the little Alpha and Orion is the big Alpha. Until one of them breaks the other, they with continue their quest for control of the situation. Butting heads and dancing around each other. Once one of them wins control, the other steps into the Beta role. He thinks they will spend the rest of their lives together. So, I watched with anticipation as they approached us. Wondering if we were going to have emotional fireworks tonight or if it was going to be some different type of explosion as those two collided again?

Orion

“Hey. You guys made it,” Orion said as he shook my hand and then Aiden’s. His mother waved to us from the other side of the group as Orion stepped next to me. “Gang this is Quinn.” He put a hand on my shoulder, then pointed to my brother. “And Aiden. Brothers and friends of mine.” Then he removed his hand and pointed to each person in time with the name, “This is Barney, Caleb, Peter, Tammy. Mom…” It was this point I forgot who he said as I stood close to him, nodding at each person he mentioned in turn. Close enough, I could smell the faint whiff of cologne covering his body scent. I slowly took a deep breath to take it all in before I turned to him.

“Hey Orion. Can we go for a walk? I would like to talk about some things.” I asked. He smiled down at me before he excused us. Aiden was talking with Caleb and smiled over at me before we turned away, walking slowly towards the water.

Quinn

“What’s on your mind, Quinn?” He asked as we turned to move down the beach alongside the rolling foam of the waves lapping on the beach.

“When school starts, I have to go back to Mom’s. But. Aiden and Dad told me that when I have my birthday, I can come back here.” I paused as Orion started to speak, but I held a hand up to stop him. “Listen. I don’t want to leave at all, but I have to. My birthday is in mid-September. Dad is going to enroll me in school here and when I come back, I’ll finish out my senior year here… With you.” I said. Waiting as he digested that.

“OK. Aiden said something about that. Your job is here when you are. I’ll help you catch up in school too, when you get here. What else?” He asked, and I looked up into those eyes. Those eyes that bored right through me.

“I was having trouble in school. Other kids taunted me daily. Then you were hurt and came back. I could do anything and people teased me. You could do nothing and everyone practically carried you around. You wouldn’t even look at me when I walked with you and Aiden. You wouldn’t talk to me.” I stopped and wiped the tears that had fallen as I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me tight into his side as we walked. I took a deep breath and exhaled, then did it again. Inhale, 1, 2, 3, Exhale, 1, 2, 3, just like my therapist told me.

“I loved you back then, Orion. Taunting you was the only way I could get your attention.” He stopped walking, but didn’t stop holding me. Suddenly, I felt him turn slightly as his other arm came around in front of his body and cupped the side of my face. Turning my head to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me then, Quinn? Talk to me instead of taunting me?” He asked. I heard the tremble in his voice. He was getting upset. “I never would have hit you and you wouldn’t have had to go to your mom’s.”

“I couldn’t. I was scared. People already talked about me. Then you always had so many people around that I couldn’t get near you to talk privately. You didn’t see me anyway.” I said, and he frowned. Wiping away another of my tears.

“That’s not true Quinn.” His voice hitched. “I saw you. Every day. I always wanted to hang out with Aiden because you were there. I was afraid to talk to you because you always had a hurtful comment.” He said sadly. The hammer blow to my walls left them reverberating like a bell. I couldn’t believe how stupid I was. How different my life would have been if I had just spoken to Orion, but I didn’t. I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Don’t run from me, Quinn. Stay with me. Talk with me. Let me in and I’ll let you in.” He whispered into my ear. Even as I tried to pull away from him. Then I heard another voice.

“Quinn. Are you OK?” It was my Dad. He came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. “Orion.” Dad said in a tone I only hear when he talks to mom. “What’s going on here?”

“Hello Mr. Newton. We are talking about the past and just had some hurtful revelations that we are working out.”

“Why is Quinn crying?”

“Because we are both stupid.” Which made me snort between sobs.

“Dad. Let them work it out.” Aiden said as he came over and kissed the top of my head. “You’ve got Orion right where you want him. He’s holding you in his arms. Let him all the way in. You can do it, Quinn. You won’t regret it.” He whispered in my ear and kissed the top of my head again.

“I’ve got him Aiden. Thanks.” Orion said, then he reached down and picked me up. Cradling me in his arms as he walked. “Aiden.” He called out. “Can you tell everyone we said good night? We are going back to my place to talk. I’ll bring him home later.” I looked up as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he smiled at me. “I’m sorry Quinn. Let’s just go back to my place and talk. Is that, OK?” I did the only thing I could do and nodded my agreement.

Orion

My head was spinning with all the revelations as I took Quinn up to my condo. I held him in my arms as the elevator doors opened and we walked down to my door and inside. Pulling Quinn with me, I dropped on the couch with him on my lap.

“No trying to run.” I said, as I locked my arms around him. Quinn smiled up at me before he laid his head on my shoulder. Whispering into my ear.

“Kids used to taunt me and beat me up. I developed the attitude to keep people away. I guess it worked too well. Then you came along. I didn’t care if you were in a wheelchair or using crutches or a cane. I just wanted to be near you. To hold you. To be held by you. Talk to me. I wanted you to be mine. I used to dream at night we would run away together and live happily ever after.” He stopped to look up at me. I reached out with my hand and brushed his hair back. Before, I leaned in to touch my forehead to his.

“How about we start over?” I whispered. “Why don’t we hold hands, so everyone knows you are mine and I am yours? Let’s see if we really are boyfriends. You talk to me, and I’ll talk to you. Everything Quinn. Let’s not hold back. Let me in behind that wall to live with you inside of it.

“Deep down inside, I still love you, Orion. I’m afraid you won’t love me once you hear everything.” I pulled him tighter against me.

“Stop thinking Quinn. Feel my arms around you?” I waited until he nodded. “I’ve got you now. Let it all out and I will deal with it. I’ve got you. Please Quinn. Let me in. Let me help you.” I tilted my head and kissed his nose as I felt the beginnings again of his body shaking with the pain he was releasing through his sobbing.

We sat like that. Whispered words. Tears and fears. Stories of the past. Pains caused and pains felt. It was an emotional hour, as I ran through the gambit of emotions with him. It was after 10. We had been here for over 2 hours, but we both needed to be in to work early tomorrow and I took him home.