Reap the Whirlwind - 1. Chapter 1

Nothing can stay the same forever. We get in trouble in life when we think it can and will. Everything changes, or as King Solomon said in the Bible and The Byrds sang in the '60s, to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. It's not a particularly easy lesson to learn. Or a fun one for that matter. I learned it the summer between high school and college, and my life would never be the same.

 

We burst into the house, laughing and shoving each other playfully. We were both sweaty from playing basketball on the driveway. The black macadam drew heat like a magnet. For what must have been the millionth time, I looked at my best friend Joey and thought about how different we were. We were a study in contrasts, a true testament to the old adage that opposites attract. We'd been inseparable since we were toddlers, but we couldn't have been more different.

Joey was tall, a little over six feet, and I was...well, short. I was five four barefoot, but I eked out five foot five in shoes...if the heel was thick enough.. He had poker-straight pale blonde hair that he wore long, cut off bluntly just above his shoulders. He'd pulled it back into a ponytail while we played, but half of it had fallen down and was stuck now to his face. My black hair was so curly I had to keep it cut short or it sprung out into an afro. Joey had a year-round tan that darkened to a golden brown on the first day of summer. I had pale white skin that burned over and over without ever turning into a tan, turned an unflattering shade of red if you even looked at me funny, and broke into freckles across my nose at the first hint of sunlight. Joey had these huge puppy-dog brown eyes while mine were a deep blue.

Actually, my eyes are my favorite feature. They are so dark they are almost violet, framed by incredibly long black lashes. My other best friend, Laura, was always saying that she would kill to have my eyes.

The differences didn't end at the physical, however. Even our personalities were polar opposites. Joey was gregarious and boisterous, while I was quiet and thoughtful. He was caught up in the popularity games at school, collecting friends like trading cards and moving seamlessly between cliques. He was desperate to become an influencer and spent huge amounts of time filming videos that never got more than a few dozen likes. I was content to stay in the background and focus on my two besties. I almost never used social media. Joey took everything at face value and rarely looked past the surface, while I tended to be introspective, always looking for a deeper meaning in things.

Laura, Joey, and I were almost inseparable all through school, earning us the nickname the Three Musketeers. We'd grown up in the same neighborhood and played together since we were old enough to walk.

Since we'd graduated a few months ago though, things had started to change. We didn't see each other nearly as much as we used to. Laura met Gabriel, or Gabe, as he preferred to be called, at her summer job on the boardwalk in Ocean City. They started dating, and were soon inseparable.Then, it turned out that they were even attending the same college, and a summer fling turned into something more serious.

College turned out to be the biggest blow to the Three Musketeers in more ways than one. When Joey and Laura started college at Pemberton University, a small liberal arts school founded in the early twentieth century as an alternative to the stuffier, business-oriented college on the other side of town, I was left behind. It was my own choice, and it had seemed like the right call at the time, but I'd since questioned my decision.

Both Joey and Laura had been accepted at other schools, but picked Pemberton when I chose to take a year off to work before going to college. Officially, I was recovering from academic burnout, taking a break from the pressures of academic life and using the gap year to recharge, de-stress, and refocus on my academic goals.

The truth was my parents would only agree to help me pay for college if I went to Christian school, and I couldn't imagine going off to school without Joey and Laura. My plan was to save up enough money to pay for my own tuition at Pemberton...eventually. Sure, I'd be a year or two behind my friends, but at least we'd be at the same school, and, in the meantime, we were still in the same town, keeping the Musketeers intact.

There was only one problem in our cunning plan: I'd hardly seen them since classes started. They had an entire new life of settling into classes, attending campus events, and meeting new people.

Meanwhile, nothing really changed for me. I was still working at my dad's church and dating my on-again-off-again — more off than on — high school girlfriend, Beth. She was from the neighborhood, too, and, while she was a year younger and had never really been a part of our little clique, she'd been around enough that when we started dating, no one was surprised.

If Beth had her way, we would have been engaged long ago. I was always the one who put things on hold, and Beth was the one who talked me into going out again. I was perfectly content just to hang out with Joey and Laura. In fact, Beth was the only girl I had ever dated. Going to dances with Laura because she didn't have a date doesn't count.

Laura claims I have a problem with commitment, and maybe I do, but I think I've just watched too many romantic movies. I want the kind of romance where you light up when you hear their name and melt down when they walk into the room. I wanted fireworks, and there were none with Beth. We got along fine; she was familiar and comfortable, but there was just no...spark.

Since Beth was in her senior year of high school, we still hung out now and then, though not as often as she'd like. I tried to keep my schedule as open as possible, just in case I heard from Joey.

My vigilance paid off. After several weeks of not seeing each other, Joey had finally called me that morning to see if I wanted to hang out. It was a Saturday, so I invited him over. We weren't doing anything special — just playing some basketball, Joey beating me soundly every game — but I was surprised how much I had missed him. Just being with him again filled a hole in me that I hadn't even fully recognized was there.

Without thinking, I suddenly grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Dude!" he said, pushing me away roughly. "What the hell was that for?"

"Language!" my mother called from the next room.

Joey rolled his eyes, and I shrugged. "I dunno," I answered, choosing to ignore my mother. "I guess I just miss you."

"Yeah, well, I guess I miss you, too, but you know I don't like all that touchy-feely gay sh—" He stopped himself just in time, then finished with "...stuff."

That was another difference between Joey and me. Though we were both an only child, I was from a very affectionate family and I wasn't afraid to show my affection. Joey's mother was a single mom who worked a lot and was always tired when she was home, which meant that we spent a lot more time at my house growing up. He barely remembered his dad, who left them when we were about five or six and was never heard from again.

Maybe it was all that, or maybe it was just his personality, but, either way, Joey was reserved emotionally. He was the typical macho guy who never showed his feelings and called everything outside of his narrow version of masculinity "gay." I knew he didn't mean anything by it, so I never let it get to me.

"Let's get something to drink," he said as he headed for the kitchen, dribbling the ball as he went.

"Don't bounce the ball in the house," Mom called.

I trailed after him, mentally kicking myself all the while. I knew better than to be physical with him. Anything more than a high five or fist bump was strictly off limits.

"God! When are you going to get out of here?" he said as soon as we were in the kitchen. "It's like we're still twelve."

"Right, like I can afford that. It's not like being a church secretary pays that much."

"So get a roommate."

"You make it sound so easy."

"People do it all the time."

"Well, I don't want to live with a stranger and I don't know anybody."

"Well, it just so happens that I do."

My eyes lit up. "You?"

"No, not me, dumb ass. You know I'm still living at home, too. Every penny I make goes right to ye old tuition fund."

I felt my face heating up and knew I was turning red. Thankfully, Joey had his back toward me as he hunted in the fridge for something cold. He emerged with a carton of orange juice, grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet, and proceeded to pour OJ all over the counter as he tried to get it in both glasses at once.

"Jeez, Joey, wreck the kitchen, why don't you," I complained.

"You sound like your mom," Joey grumbled as he mopped up his mess with a towel. "Anyway, there's this guy in one of my classes, his name's Aidan, and he mentioned the other day that he's looking for a roommate for a two-bedroom apartment. I told him I'd ask you."

"Why'd he get a two-bedroom if it's just him?"

"I don't know, Will, what difference does it make? Are you interested or not?"

"I don't even know this guy...what's his name? Hayden?"

"Aidan. And I know you don't know him, but I do. He's a nice guy. I think you two would get along. Look, he's having a kind of housewarming party tonight. Pretty lowkey. I told him I'd bring you if you were interested, so why don't you go with me? That way you can meet him, see the apartment, see if you like him...the whole nine yards."

He handed me my glass of OJ and started gulping his down, spilling it down the front of his shirt in the process.

"I won't know anyone there," I protested.

"Ha! I knew you'd say that. I just told you I'd be there, plus Laura and Gabe will be there."

"Laura and Gabe?"

"Yeah, Gabe has classes with him too. I think they're the same age. Bonus, there will only be, like, one or two other people there, so you don't have to worry about your terminal shyness."

"I don't want to crash his party, especially if there aren't even that many people going."

I was getting weaker, and Joey knew it.

"I told him I might bring you so you're not crashing anything." I hesitated, and he moved in for the kill. "There's going to be someone there I want you to meet besides Aidan."

"Who?"

"Come and you'll find out."

I played my last ace. "I'm supposed to go out with Beth tonight."

"So cancel!" he yelled, throwing his hands up. "Come on, Will. You just said you missed me. Here's your chance to spend some time with me plus meet some new people and maybe find some new digs. Live a little. Beth will get over it. She always does."

I sighed, and Joey grinned. He knew he'd won. Why he still got any pleasure from his victories was beyond me since he always won. You'd think he'd be used to it by now, the manipulative bastard.

"What should I wear?"

"Whatever you want. It's just a kickback, not a debutante ball."

"A what?"

"Look it up."

"Oh, so you don't know either."

"Shut up." He laughed and punched me in the arm.

"Ow!" I shoved him back, and soon we were wrestling around the kitchen, crashing into the table and knocking over a chair.

"No roughhousing inside!" Mom called.

We froze and looked at each other, then collapsed into a giggling heap on the floor...just like old times.

 

An hour later, I stood in my room with a towel around my waist as a puddle of water collected at my feet. I stared at my buzzing phone, wondering if there was any way I could avoid picking it up. Beth's name and photo filled the screen. I dreaded the inevitable confrontation when I broke off our date tonight...for the third time in a row.

The phone stopped vibrating and went dark as I breathed a sigh of relief.

A second later, it lit up with Beth's laughing face again. I'd taken the photo one afternoon when we were all at the park. Beth was on a swing and Laura had been pushing her, her mousy brown hair blowing around her face. The photo was cropped so you couldn't see all that, just her expression of unrestrained laughter, making her somewhat plain features joyfully radiant.

Which definitely would not be her reaction once I disappointed her yet again.

I couldn't put it off any longer. "Hello?"

"Hey! I thought I was going to have to leave another message," Beth said, sounding half amused, half annoyed.

"Sorry, I was taking a shower," I said lamely.

"Oh yeah? Getting ready for our date tonight?" she teased.

"Actually..."

"So what are you wearing?"

"Listen, Beth, about tonight..."

"No! Will!" she interrupted. "Don't do this to me again. Tonight was going to be special. You promised. Just you and me."

"Something came up." I was dying, and I knew it.

"Let me guess, that something is named Joey, right?"

"I didn't even mention Joey..."

"You don't have to. Everything with you has something to do with Joey. Joey always comes first with you. When is it my turn? You treat me like you treat Laura."

"What's that supposed to mean? What's wrong with how I treat Laura? She's one of my closest friends."

"That's just it, Will." She sighed. "Laura's your friend. I'm supposed to be your girlfriend. And you treat both of us like a very distant second. Anytime Joey wants to do something, we both get shoved aside. At least Laura has found someone who knows how to treat her."

"Did she...did Laura tell you this?"

"She didn't have to. Look, Will, this obviously isn't working. I thought things might change when you graduated and Joey started college, but nothing is ever going to change. You aren't committed to us. I think we should take a break until you figure out what you want."

"Wait a minute. You're breaking up with me?"

"You can call it that. Just don't call me until you've figured things out. It's your move this time."

"Figured things out? What's to figure out? What I want is that...that spark of chemistry. That feeling that everything is alright when you're with them, that you're finally home. Don't you want that?"

"Yes, Will, I do," she said quietly, "but the thing is, I thought I had it — with you. I'm sorry you don't feel the same way. I hope you find it. Goodbye."

"Beth..." I tried, but she'd already hung up.

I stood there with the phone in my hand for several minutes replaying my conversation with Beth in my head. She had said so much it took a while for it all to sink in, and when it did, I didn't know whether to be angry, laugh, or cry. Maybe all three would suffice.

 

The car horn sounded, letting me know that Joey had arrived to pick me up for the big shindig at Aidan's. I checked myself in the mirror and was somewhat surprised to see that I was wearing jeans and a short-sleeved, dark-blue pullover collared shirt. I didn't remember choosing that particular outfit, but then I had been kind of preoccupied with my thoughts since Beth's phone call. At any rate, it would do. At least the blue brought out my eyes.

"Hey," I said as I slid into Joey's little sports car. It was his pride and joy, even if it was barely big enough for both of us. His only complaint was the backseat was too small to get it on with his seemingly never-ending revolving door of nameless girls.

"Hey," he gave me a close look, then threw the car into reverse and backed onto the road. "Okay, what's wrong?" he asked as soon as we were moving forward.

"What do you mean?" I tried the dumb approach.

"Come on, Will. We both know you're a terrible liar, and I know you well enough to know when something is bothering you. Is it this whole apartment thing? 'Cause if it is, I'll back off. It's not that big a deal. Your parents are just a drag sometimes. Okay, all the—"

"It's not that," I cut him off. "Beth and I broke up tonight."

"So? You guys break up like every other week. It's a tradition. You'll be dating again next week."

"I don't think so. This time was different. She broke up with me."

"Whoa!" He looked over at me to gauge my reaction.

"Look at the road, please," I said automatically. Having driven with Joey before, I knew we needed all the help we could get.

"So, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You? Mr. Let's-talk-about-our-feelings?"

"It's just... I need some time to process some stuff she said."

"Like what?"

"She said...I don't know. I just need to think about it."

I definitely wasn't ready to tell him what Beth had said. Maybe I'd be in the place to frame it as something we could laugh about at some point, but I wasn't there yet.

"She really got to you, huh?"

"Yeah."

Thankfully, he dropped it, and the rest of the short ride was spent in silence. It wasn't like Joey to be particularly thoughtful, so I assumed he had something on his mind as well.

I was snapped out of my own thoughts when he pulled into the parking lot of our destination — a recently renovated nineteenth-century brick warehouse-turned-apartment building down by the river district. The project was part of a rejuvenation effort for a long-depressed area, and — in addition to a facelift, extensive landscaping, and high-end finishes, according to the huge leasing sign out front — had included the installation an exterior glass elevator designed to look like a grain lift, complete with a wrought iron gate.

"Uh, are you sure I can afford this place?" I asked.

"Will," he said in a warning tone. "Just relax. You're just meeting the guy and seeing the place. You're not signing anything."

I made a physical effort to do as he said as I followed him to the elevator. He pushed the button for the fourth floor, and we started up.

"He's on the top floor?" I asked.

"Chill."

The elevator doors opened, and Joey walked confidently to a door and knocked. After a moment, a guy around our age answered the door. He had wavy dark blonde hair and the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. I wondered if they were contacts. He was taller than I was, of course, but shorter than Joey, so that put him at about five foot ten.

"Hey, you made it!" he said, breaking into a wide grin bordered by twin dimples.

Joey and the guy did that weird bro hug thing where you clasp hands and sort of pat each other on the back. I've never gotten the hang of it, so I was relieved when he simply stuck his hand out to me for a traditional handshake.

"Hey, you must be Will. I'm Aidan," he said. "Aidan Scott."

"Hi, yeah, I'm Will Keegan."

Joey had already moved inside, leaving me standing awkwardly in the hall.

"Come on in," Aidan said. "I've heard a lot about you."

I forced a smile. "Well, you're ahead of me."

He laughed as I entered a large, airy room with high ceilings crisscrossed with steel girders and exposed brick walls. Enormous floor-to-ceiling multi-paned windows with the original wavy glass still intact lined the outside wall. Sparse furnishings made the room look even larger, though what was there looked high quality. A black leather sofa and matching recliner faced a state-of-the-art TV mounted on the wall, with what looked like the latest gaming system set up underneath. R&B dance groove blasted from surround sound speakers. There was a complete lack of anything hanging on the walls. It looked like he'd just moved in, which, considering school had only started a few weeks before, was probably accurate.

I was relieved to see Laura and Gabe sitting on the sofa, so close a sheet of paper couldn't have slipped between them. A leggy blonde had draped herself over the recliner like a carefully positioned model in a Vogue fashion shoot. Joey was nowhere to be seen.

Laura waved to acknowledge my arrival, then went back to her conversation with the blonde.

"Welcome to my home. It's not much, but I guess it's home for now. At least for one year according to the lease," Aidan said.

"Are you kidding? It's awesome," I said sincerely. "This place must cost a fortune."

"It's not that bad," he said unconvincingly. "You want to see the rest of the place?"

"Um, sure." I was still wondering where Joey had disappeared to.

"Cool.Then prepare yourself for the grand tour," he said. "You've already seen the entryway, or the foyer as I prefer to call it. On your right, you'll note the lavishly furnished living area. If you turn to your left, you'll enter the large and spacious kitchen complete with all the gourmet accoutrements one could ever desire. Julia Child, eat your heart out."

I laughed since the kitchen was barely large enough for the both of us. A built-in table and the three chairs around it took up most of the space, and the missing Joey occupied the rest as he made himself a drink, pouring a generous portion of a clear liquid into a glass of ice.

"Hey, leave some for the rest of us," Aidan joked, then turned back to me. "What do you think so far?"

"Small, but functional," I said helpfully.

Aidan narrowed his eyes. "Have you been talking to my real estate agent?"

I laughed again, and Aidan motioned me back into the living room.

"As we continue with the guided tour, we will now be entering this stunning hallway where you'll find these three doors!" He switched now to a game show host voice. "Well, Will, what will it be? Door Number One? Or maybe you'd like to try Door Number Two? Or how about trying your luck with Door Number Three?"

One door was straight ahead at the end of the long, narrow hallway, and there was one door on each side toward the far end, one left, one right, directly across from each other.

"Um...let's try for Number Two," I said, picking the center door.

"Oh, jeez, Will. I'm sorry, but Number Two is appropriately named because you chose the bathroom. But we have some lovely parting gifts, don't we, Jimmy?" He dropped his voice an octave and boomed, "That's right, Aidan. We'll be sending Will home with a lifetime supply of Charmin. Enjoy the go!"

I laughed so hard I snorted, which of course caused my face to begin to burn. I imagined I must have been pretty close to the color of a tomato. Aidan acted as if I hadn't just made a rude porcine noise and went on with his game show host shtick.

"But the game's not over yet. You get one more try, Will."

"Door Number Three."

"Excellent choice," he said as he swung open the door, "and may I just say that is a lovely shade of red you are wearing. Very flattering."

The spacious room we walked into now was evidently Aidan's bedroom. It held a queen bed, two dressers, a desk with only a small lamp and a closed laptop sitting on it, and an open closet full of clothes...and there was still plenty of room to spare.

"If you decide to be my roomie, your room will be across the hall," Aidan said in his normal voice. "Come on, I'll show you."

We crossed the hall as he opened the door with a flourish. I stepped in expecting a copy of the room I'd just seen, but was surprised to find it was half the size and stacked to the ceiling with boxes.

"I, uh, haven't finished unpacking yet," he said sheepishly. "I know this room is smaller, so to make it fair you would only have to pay a third of the rent instead of half."

"Are you sure you can afford that?" I asked automatically.

"Oh, money's not a problem. That's not why I wanted a roommate. It's more for the company. I'm from a big family, and it's weird going from that to living by myself. I thought I could offset the culture shock by having someone else live here. I mean I have the extra room so it made sense. Not that I'm expecting you, or whoever moves in, to be my best friend or anything. I know you and Joey are tight. It'll just be nice having someone else here. Oh wait, I almost forgot! There is a bonus to having the smaller room. Check this out."

He shoved boxes aside until he had cleared a path to the window. I followed him and looked out. I had to give it to him; the view was spectacular. The window overlooked the river, the lights from the apartment building sparkling and dancing across its black surface. An iron fire escape just outside the window formed a sort of balcony that would be awesome on a summer night.

"Do you have a boat?" I asked him after a moment, still looking out the window.

"Uh, no. I'm not rich."

"Too bad," I said with a little laugh as I pulled myself away from the window and turned to face him.

He grinned. "Sorry to disappoint. You ready to head back? Don't want everyone to think we ditched them."

I was reluctant to leave the view and even more reluctant to return to the group. I wasn't in a party headspace, even though Aidan's good humor had lifted my dark mood somewhat. I followed Aidan back to the living area anyway.

Someone had changed the playlist, and the vibe was decidedly more chill. The mood seemed to be as mellow as the music. Laura and Gabe were still sitting closely on the couch with plenty of room for another person, but Joey had perched himself on the arm of the recliner next to the leggy blonde, who, I couldn't help noticing, was resting her hand rather possessively on his thigh.

Everyone stopped talking as we entered the room. I took the seat next to Laura, and Aidan sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Hi, I'm Will," I said to the blonde, since no one seemed to be planning on introducing us.

"Nice to meet you, Will. I'm Mackenzie," she said. "I've heard a lot about you from Joe here," she added, giving his leg a little squeeze to punctuate her pronouncement.

I lifted one eyebrow and tried to make eye contact with Joey, but he seemed to suddenly find the carpet pattern extremely fascinating.

"Joe seems to have been doing a lot more talking about me than to me, because I'm afraid I've never heard anything about you."

For a moment, everyone froze. An awkward silence followed, and I forced a laugh in an attempt to undo the damage. Everyone smiled nervously. Joey was still busy trying not to look at me.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean that the way it came out. I've, uh, had a bad day."

"It's okay, I understand," she said graciously. She had a rather pronounced southern drawl that I couldn't quite place. I guess she was pretty if you liked the type: long white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, pouty lips, and big boobs — she had the whole package.

Personally, I thought Laura was much prettier. She was biracial, her father black and her mother was Indigenous, giving her flawless golden-brown skin, large almond-shaped eyes so dark they were almost black, high cheekbones and jet-black, poker-straight hair that hung almost to her waist.

She and Gabe made a striking couple. Gabe was Hispanic and quite handsome, with a square jaw, straight black hair that he wore short and carefully styled, and dark eyes that sparkled whenever he got excited about a topic, which was often. He was only a year older than Joey, Laura, and I, but he seemed much more sophisticated. Maybe that was just because I hadn't known him all his life, as I had Joey and Laura. I didn't have any milk-shooting-from-the-nose memories about him. He seemed to be good for Laura, complementing her in almost every way. His dark good looks matched hers perfectly.

"So you had a bad day?" Laura asked after a brief but loaded pause.

Leave it to Laura to pick up the one thing that I didn't want to talk about.

I waved my hand dismissively. "I don't want to talk about it. So, Mackenzie, do you go to school with Joey...er, Joe?" I put extra emphasis on this new name. I'd never heard anyone call him anything but Joey for the entire eighteen years I'd known him.

I ignored the looks on everyone's faces: the dirty look Laura shot me, the curious ones from Gabe and Aidan, and the uncomfortable expression on Joey's face. I kept my focus carefully on Mackenzie's pointy little face.

"Yes, we're both in Professor Strauss' American History class. That's where we met on the first day of school." She cast a smile in Joey's direction, but he was still engrossed in the plush pile. "He asked me out the next day, and we've been going out ever since. But, I mean, it's only been what? Two weeks? So I guess that's why you haven't heard of me," she added quickly.

Well, that explained why Joey had been so busy the last few weeks. I was surprised how hurt I was.

"Yeah, you're right," I said with venom in my voice. "Two weeks is not long enough for a best friend to tell someone they have a new girlfriend." I stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need some fresh air."

"Will!" Laura said sharply.

"I...I'm sorry. I'm going to...go take a walk...or something," I mumbled as I made a beeline for the door. I paused at the door long enough to say, "I've had a bad day."

I found my way back down to the ground level and wandered around the building into the grassy backyard that butted up against the river. The wooden bulkhead made a great seat, so I plopped down and dangled my legs over the surface of the water.

I had just about gotten myself under control when I felt someone come up behind me. I didn't have to look up to know it was Laura.

"Okay, that was appalling. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I've had a bad day," I repeated softly.

"So you keep saying. Wanna tell me about it?"

"No."

"How 'bout you do it anyway." She sat down next to me and swung her long legs out over the water, tapping my foot with one of hers.

"Beth and I broke up today."

"So? You're always breaking up or getting back together. Call her tomorrow, and tell her you're sorry."

"It's not like that this time. She broke up with me."

"Oh. Oh wow."

"Yeah, I got the feeling it was pretty permanent this time."

"Will, I don't know how to say this tactfully..."

I snorted. "Since when have you been tactful?"

"Okay then, have it your way. Why are you so beat up about Beth dumping you for a change? You've dumped her enough times. You don't like being on the receiving end?"

"It's not that. Actually, I don't even care that much. I mean, we've been together for years, but..."

"A 'but' is never a good sign, sweetie, and there was always a 'but' with Beth."

"Yeah. She never felt like 'The One,' you know?"

"I know. So what's really bothering you, then?"

"Something she said."

"Am I going to have to drag every word out of you? I mean. I will if I have to, but maybe you could just make this easier on both of us and spit it out already."

I kicked her foot. "She said that I always put you and her second."

"Me? How did I get into this?"

"She said that I always put Joey first. Do you feel that way too?" I looked over at Laura for the first time. She was looking out over the river, the reflected light playing softly over her even features.

She didn't answer at first, and, when she finally began to talk, I had to lean in closer to catch what she was saying. "You never knew this," she said. "I never told anyone, but I had a huge crush on you for the longest time."

I gasped, but she shook her head before I could speak. "Let me finish. I used to get so hurt whenever I would call or text you to hang out and the answer was always 'Joey and I are doing this' or 'Joey and I are doing that.' It was even worse when it was 'Joey and I might be doing this or that.' I wasn't even competition for a possibility."

I started to protest, but she held up a warning finger to silence me.

"I'm not finished. After a while, I guess I just sort of accepted the fact that Joey would always get top billing as far as you were concerned. But I still wanted to be close to you, so I infiltrated your little club. We became the Three Musketeers, and we lived platonically ever after. All for one, right? As long as Joey was 'the one.'"

There was a slight bitterness to her tone. I was dying to say something, but didn't dare interrupt after two warnings.

"I got over you eventually," she said. "And I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything now. If nothing else, I learned what I want from a relationship — friendship or otherwise. Gabe not only knows I exist, but he makes me a priority. He treats me right, and I'm crazy about him. But to answer your question, yeah, I do feel like I always came second to Joey."

"Why... Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Like what? 'Hey, Will, I'm in love with you but you barely acknowledge my existence?' Or how about 'Hey, Will, why is Joey so great? What's wrong with me?' Or "Hey, Will, notice me, dammit?' What exactly was I supposed to say?" She swiped angrily at a single tear rolling down her cheek.

I had only seen Laura cry a few times as long as I had known her. It unnerved me worse than anything she had said.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm so sorry, Laura."

"It's ancient history." She took a deep breath and gathered herself. "I moved on. Like I said, Gabe is the greatest. I feel so lucky to have met him." She cut her eyes at me. "Okay, maybe I'm not as over you as I thought," she added with an ironic laugh, "but I am moving on."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Did you know Joey and Mackenzie were dating?" I said at last.

Laura sighed. "He still comes first doesn't he?"

"I didn't... It's just..."

"It's okay. I should be used to it by now. Yeah, I knew."

"Why didn't he tell me?" I tried to keep the whine out of my voice, but I still came out sounding like a petulant five-year-old.

"Maybe because he knew this would happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Will, every time Joey has ever had a girlfriend, you've been jealous. You do nothing but pick them apart and criticize their every move. Maybe Joey wanted a little grace period with Mackenzie before you started in on her."

"I'm not jealous," I said defensively.

"Oh, please."

"I'm not!"

"Then what was that whole scene up there?"

"I was just surprised. I mean, you saw the way she was all over him. 'Joe has told me all about you,'" I mocked in an exaggerated southern drawl.

"See, there you go."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Laura hurried on, "Look, Will, I have a serious question I need to ask you, but listen, I want you to be honest with me...and with yourself."

"Of course, Laura," I said indignantly, "You know I would never lie to you."

"Not on purpose, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind. Here's my question, and I don't want you to answer until you are one hundred percent sure. Got it?"

I was suddenly nervous, but I nodded anyway.

She took a deep breath. "Are you in love with Joey? I mean as in romantically in love. Because if you are, you need to face that and deal with it and figure out what it means. You can't just keep on hurting everyone around you. You know I'll always love you no matter what."

"Are you... Are you asking me if I'm gay?" I asked in amazement.

"Will?" We both turned toward the voice. It was Joey up by the parking lot. "Hey, Will? Laura? Are you guys out here?"

"We're down by the water," Laura called back. She turned back to me, grabbed my hand, and squeezed before quickly releasing it. "Think about what I said, and remember I love you."

She jumped up and moved off into the shadows as Joey approached.

"I, uh, didn't interrupt anything, did I?" he asked.

"No, we were just talking," I said slowly, though my mind was racing.

"So, uh...what did you think of the apartment?"

"It was great — airy and light with a great sense of the original integrity of the building. Great color schemes and tastefully decorated. Everything a guy could want," I said sarcastically. "Why'd you come here, Joey? It wasn't to talk about the apartment. Or are you that eager to pass me off on Aidan?"

"It's not like that. Mackenzie just thought I should make sure—"

"Mackenzie. When were you going to tell me about her? Was I going to be invited to the wedding?"

"Jesus, Will. We've only been dating two weeks! I was going to tell you tonight. I told you there was someone I wanted you to meet. Do you think I'm stupid enough to invite you to a party she was going to be at if I wasn't going to tell you about her? I would have told you sooner but...I guess I needed some time with her just to myself first."

I looked out across the river. "We're growing apart," I said softly. "Laura and Gabe, you and Mackenzie...me and nobody."

"We're not growing apart, we're growing up. You're my best friend, and you always will be. Nothing will ever change that. But we're not fourteen anymore. We can't spend all our lives together. We're all going to have families and careers. It can't be just the three of us forever."

"I don't want things to change."

"Everything changes. If you don't change, then you're dead. Make the most of it. Now that Beth is out of the picture, date new people. Try some new things. Get out there and live. You can start by moving in with Aidan. He's cool. You won't find a better roommate, and you really need to get out of that house. I think it would be good for you to be more independent."

"I'm sure I ruined any chance of that happening with my bad first impression," I said sourly.

"Nah, he's not like that. He almost went after you when you stormed out. He was worried about you. Like I said, he's a really nice guy. I wouldn't just set you up with anybody."

I gave him a sharp look. "Set me up?"

He snorted. "Not like that, you homo."

"I'm not—"

"I'm kidding! Shit. Chill."

We fell into silence while I mulled over everything that had happened in a short twenty-four hours, especially what Joey had just said. Finally, I stood up, dusted the dirt off my bottom, and started for the building.

"Where're you going?" Joey asked, trotting to catch up.

"To see if that roommate position has been filled."