Wildone's Bizarre World of Prompts - 1. The Capybara Invasion

August 24, 2054 was one of the hottest on record in New York City. Reaching temperatures of over 120F tested even the most seasoned residents. Myself, working for a local pest control operation was used to the heat and what it brought out, the worst in the city. The capybara.

Some attractive, tall, leggy, blonde genius in Kentucky was known to have said in the mid 2020’s that they were cute and non-invasive. Someone took her advice and thought since they were the world’s largest rodent, maybe they could finally control the common Norway rat population that had literally taken over the city. Through a genetic modification program, before they were brought to New York, much like Monsanto had done in the late 1980s. Created with their genetically modified organisms as in crops that were weed resistant had borrowed that train of thought. They created a lab-bred species of capybara that would eat meat, specifically Norway rat meat, and move away from their vegetarian diet.

The capybaras, grown in test tubes and then incubated in cloned sheep uteruses that were cloned for this sole purpose. Four to five capybaras could be grown in one sheep’s uterus in about one month's time.

At the start of the 2040s, they estimated that in NYC, specifically Manhattan Island, there were 4 Norway rats to every human. No longer was NYC the place of the rich and famous. They had the money to move to places like the Hamptons and other areas that had rat policies and were somewhat successful in keeping them off the island. The Long Island Rat Patrol monitored landfills, fields, and patrolled the shores to ensure the able swimmers came up Long Island Sound.

Meanwhile back in NYC, people were known to cover everything they owned in specialty made bubblewrap designed to release a neurotoxin if chewed on, that would target and only kill the rat. Other pets of larger sizes like most cats, dogs and unfortunately penguins were unaffected by the toxin.

One of the biggest obstacles of dealing with the rats were that they were always adapting and breeding and learning how to avoid dangers to their lives. Soon the bubblewrap wouldn’t work anymore. Evidence was already being collected of rat populations learning to use tools like twigs to pop the bubbles, releasing the toxin from a safe distance.

When the genius in Kentucky came up with the mutant ninja capybaras, as soon as they were born, they were let loose in all the boroughs of NYC, most emphasis was on Manhattan Island.

The capybaras took about 3 years to eliminate all the rats in the city. Just the genius never thought of sterilizing the capybaras before releasing them. As the rats disappeared the capybara population exploded. Although not as bad as the rats, there was an estimated one capybara for every human. People said how they were cute and they had seen them in petting zoos in the late 2020s, but these were anything but friendly to humans. They wouldn’t attack, but they would eat everything with little discrimination. Not even pigeons or lapdogs were safe. Another issue the leggy genius overlooked was the amount of defecation and urinating these large rodents produced all over the place. Like most experiments in mankind's history, the introduction of a species and especially a genetically modified species, they made life worse than better.

Long introduction to me, Clayton Smyth, capybara killer at large. My business had grown over the years, but I still wanted to remain small so did not have anyone else working with me. My techniques were considered extremely radical, but like it said on my van, ‘You Got Them, We Kill Them!’

One of my best techniques was to use a small hot-air balloon remotely controlled from outside the city, to release a bunch of imported rats into an open parking lot or open space to attract as many capybaras as possible. I did not trust carrying rats in my van in the city as they would probably chew through my tires and even the metal as if it was a birthday cake to them.

I would park off to the side of the lot and watch all the capys, as we called them in the biz, surround the deposited rats. Just the smell of rats on the first ones to devour them, attracted even more capys. With that, I would open the back doors of my van, which was filled with refillable bags of napalm. I would use my flame thrower to burn the suckers to death by the hundreds. Where I got my napalm supply was nobody’s business and why I worked alone.

I didn’t always get all that showed up, but the capys would eventually feel the heat, not the ambient temperature of the climate, but of my 2,000,000 btu flame thrower. They would try to scurry; to take out a thousand in one afternoon was the average.

I have to admit, it was good money as condo and hotel owners would pay a pretty penny to have their area cleaned up. Sometimes when working I would get some from areas too that weren’t paying for them. My opinion is that a fried capybara is a good capybara. Between the big contract eradications, I’d go into the less rich areas, without getting paid to set the bushy varmints ablaze.

Since the city isn’t paying me, I doubt I will ever see any real celebration or appreciation for my dutiful work, even the freebies. I leave a smoldering mess of bones and gnarled capy teeth behind me for them to clean up. If they don’t, imagine the smell.

I would settle for a firework show in my honour, let it be a reminder to the last remaining capys that I’m still out there and that their days before a fiery end are numbered.