BendtedWreath

I'm glad they figured things out and even brought the aunt with them!

That was a relief. I was worried Peter would come out of that locked fight missing an eye or limb or worse. Did Balar just gain a bit of self awareness?

@LJCC and @Headstall, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to provide help and examples. I know it's @ChromedOutCortex you're helping out right now, but I am also learning and am appreciative of any and all information.

I would be careful when writing mixed POVs. The only ones I've seen that work well enough are full chapters of just that one person's POV.

I am hoping Peter will be able to give Balar a good wallop.

Oh, I had a lot of help on this one. I just had that one idea, a man digging up shrubs he spent a lot of time cultivating because he was getting a divorce and his initial thoughts were "she can have everything except the shrubs." The rest of the details were pieced together later, including the reason for the divorce and the heartbreak that came with it. I still don't think I conveyed enough of the complexity of that kind of struggle since I haven't gone through this specific kind of grief. But I do know the grief of losing loved ones, and the crazy things it can lead a person to do while going through an emotional disarray.

If it makes you feel any better, I still have to deep dive into sentence structure and paragraphs because I apparently forgot all of my grade school grammar. 🤣

This one's grounded in bitter reality but is well worth reading. Not all relationship troubles can be addressed by the couple alone, and not all feelings can be easily conveyed. Grant and Elliot are an example of moving forward together through dark times, even if extra help is needed.

“I hate to say this, but it doesn’t sound like Grant is very concerned about your safety. At least not where Sarah and Jim are concerned.” - Yeah, it seems like Grant thinks Elliot is tougher than he looks just because he wasn't as shaken up when Jim confronted him. “So it’s really over,” Elliot said. He felt numb and empty./“No, you idiot. You still love each other, and it’s obvious this is making you both miserable. I think you need some outside help with this. Maybe some couples counseling.” - LMAO! Some sisters are the sounds of reason. Elliot spun around and had just enough time to register the gun in Jim’s hand before it connected, hard, with his face. - Jim's gone unhinged again. Tanaka sighed, and his worn face folded into deeper lines. "That is highly unlikely. Taking into consideration the amount of facial trauma and the type of ocular injury sustained, it is doubtful that your vision will ever return to the right eye. I'm sorry. - That fucking sucks! You can have the apartment, if you want it. If you want to never see my face again, that’s fine. Whatever you want, I’ll do. - Why don't you both move somewhere new after that chaos? There was an audible click of the key in the lock, and Elliot forced himself not to flinch when he heard it. He knew it was Grant; he had gotten a text from him when he left the office, and he had heard Grant whistling the song that was their signal as he walked down the hallway. He knew it was Grant, but it was still hard some days. - Nice detail of lingering trauma. Moving had hurt the most, because Elliot never wanted to leave their apartment: it had felt too much like a victory for Jim. - Yes! They moved! Sarah had barely spoken to either one of them since they had decided to press charges against Jim who was currently in jail. - Sounds like Sarah's the one most in need of counseling! What a fitting story title! I'm glad the two worked things out and are in a better place overall. I had hopes that Sarah would actually help add charges to Jim's arrest, not try to get them to drop them!

Ben's Bumblings- Entry 1/24/2025 Middles: Nuances and Distinctions Note: I am a novice level writer. Everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt or disregarded as I bumble my way around. This blog entry is dedicated to Nuances and Distinctions that I struggled with halfway into the writing of my first novel: Showing What Another Character Is Thinking While Being Limited to the Main Character’s Overall Point of View These are examples I gathered from the community when I found myself in a challenging situation in which Character A needed to gain Character B's trust gradually and I wanted to show Character B changing his mind gradually. I asked the community: Other than their actions and their words, how would YOU show what another character is thinking while being limited to the main character's overall point of view? These were the responses (you can also click on each name to visit their profiles because I found out that mentions are limited, but links are unlimited): KBois 1- you can italicize the thoughts of the character X so the readers know what he's thinking without relying on 'telling'. At the same time you have character Y pondering X's thoughts and gradually changing his perception. 2- you can have character Y hypothesize as to what he/she thinks the other person is thinking. This leaves room for further speculation on the main character's part and an internal dialogue showing the change if heart. Thirdly Though it also feels like cheating, one thing that came to mind other than what Kbois wonderfully suggested, are handwritten notes. 👀 I was a teenager once and I remember playing messenger passing notes from girls to boys, or girls to other girls, and so on. When writing from one friend to another (or anything intimate between couples), so much can be read between the lines. It's why there is a collective panic whenever someone intercepts those notes, especially anything incriminating like calling an ex a fusion of a magical girl and their scent of choice "Sailor Spice." Talo Segura Third person limited is just what it says with the label, it allows a little more freedom with the principal character because you are using he and they, rather than I, but nevertheless the reader is following only this main character's thoughts and inner feelings. The main character may speculate about a secondary character's inner thoughts, but he doesn't know what another person is really thinking. You cannot put the reader inside another character's head, only with third person omniscient where the reader sees all can you do this. Drown You are not necessarily limited to just one character's POV though. You can … head hop to another one. This is extremely dangerous territory. But without a lot of finesse, it often comes off heavy-handed. If a story constantly swaps POVs, I will stop reading. All suggestions above are good though. I like limited writing POVs, makes it more interesting to deal with such things. Focus on what your main character can see, smell, taste, hear, touch. Have them question their senses, for the reader to really get into the POV's head. Did he see that expression? It was there, wasn't it? I'm sure it was, oh god, this man was so hard to read! Exhausting. He wished Luke would just come out with it and say what's on his mind. But oh no, we had to sit here and ponder. Headstall: Dialogue and second character's actions, reactions, pauses, tics, facial expressions and the like... but definitely through dialogue for me. Just a quick example... Character 2: "Are you sure about that?" POV: "I was... ah, you don't think so?" Character 2: "Sure, sure, if that's your take." Leon nodded and smiled, but Ryan knew him well and saw right through it. POV: "Okay, well, I haven't made up my mind yet, so--" Character 2: "You do you, man," Leon said in a rush as he dropped his gaze. POV: A sigh quietly slid from Ryan's mouth. It was clear his friend thought him crazy for even considering taking Thomas back. Was he angry? It irked him to think he was, so he challenged his poorly concealed attitude. "Why do you hate him so damn much?" Character 2: Leon's eyebrows rose, and he looked sheepish, but stubborn too, and yeah, at the least, miffed about something. "I don't... hate him exactly, and it's none of my business anyway... it's not my life." POV: Yeah, he sounded defensive now, and that never went well. Ryan cooled his jets, not wanting to poke and prod. Character 2: "Listen, I gotta go. I promised my mother I would...." His voice trailed off as he turned away and started walking up his street. POV: Ryan sighed again, louder this time. Leon was definitely lying--he wasn't fine with anything--and he was going to do what he always did when things got uncomfortable. No doubt he wouldn't see him for a week. He watched his friend's hunched shoulders and hurried gait for a minute, but he never turned around once, like he would have done any other time. Annoyed at how their talk had played out, he strode away in the other direction. He was confused, but something about Leon's demeanor niggled at him. LJCC: By describing things, really. Context and subcontext are the keys to every situation. Subcontext is probably the most important part of storytelling you'd have to insert in everything you write. Without it, its like eating a sugarless cereal. The story would taste very bland. In-your-face writing is literally the opposite of fiction writing. It's like reading a news report. So to successfully hide whatever intention you have with your characters, you have to hide them in a subcontext that the readers will subtly understand. Some writers will directly hint at what the subcontext is (like in this sample), and some will hide it in their graves. This is a very short prompt I made to, hopefully (if it makes sense), give my answer to your question: SETTING: Context: William is showing his apparent 'fiance' to the guy he slept with last night. A fellow spy. Subcontext: Roger is doubting himself if William truly feels nothing about what they've shared together the night before. The CIA agent feels there's something more. He's also doubting if the fiance is his real fiance. “Well, this is my fiancé,” Damien said, smug as a cat dragging in a half-dead mouse. He turned to face Roger, his expression all polish and ice, heartless, soulless. Roger felt the contrarian demons stir inside him, their claws in his guts, pulling him toward what he shouldn’t feel, shouldn’t want—but did, and did deeply. He knew his feelings for Damien, and he knew Damien's duty. Knew, too, what he himself could give, which was less than nothing when the CIA had its iron hand on his leash. And yet, last night—goddamn it—last night had happened. He had let passion, real passion, take the wheel, knowing full well that today Damien would be boarding a plane back to London, back to MI6. Back to the interrogators, with their sharp questions and sharper eyes. If he wasn’t pitch-perfect, it would be his fault because he hadn’t said no to William last night Romantic, cold-effacing, heartless Brits. That’s what Damien was—wasn’t he? Or was he just a full-frontal asshole of an American to expect something? He wanted some version of romance, sure, but they were both intelligence officers. No room for distractions. No room for...this. And yet. Damien looked at him now, the look of someone who had already filed everything away in a locked box. Roger saw it. He saw the purple shadows pooling around his shoulders like bruises. Whatever connection they’d shared last night was gone, replaced by duty and steel. And now, as if the whole moment weren’t absurd enough, Damien was introducing him to this spineless twig of a man—this toothpick masquerading as a person—who was, apparently, William’s fiancé. The words floated, as pompous and self-satisfied as Damien’s tone. Roger swallowed down everything he couldn’t say and told himself, not for the first time, that what happened last night was for nothing. Or was it really for nothing? Because for certain, he'll be thinking of William till the end of his days. Fuck it, he thought. I have to stop his flight, was his convincing tirade in his mind. I'll blow up the plane if I have to. === Indirect Versus Direct Conflict: These are examples I gathered from the community when I found myself in a challenging situation in which I couldn't find enough examples about literary nuances/distinctions between direct and indirect conflict. I asked the community: 1. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a disagreement between two parties? 2. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a physical altercation between two parties? 3. What are any other types of conflicts that I didn't mention that would result in a direct vs. indirect conflict? Please write an example. These were the responses (you can also click on each name to visit their profiles because I found out that mentions are limited, but links are unlimited): KBois I literally just finished dealing with an irate resident. Direct conflict: The issue was a notice we gave him regarding items on his site that needed to be addressed. He was trying to argue with me saying that we are accusing him of not having a valid registration displayed. Our notices are basically a checklist... we place an X next to the violation and highlight when it needs to be taken care of. He could not comprehend that there was no X checked off by the registration. It was checked next to the 'remove clutter.' No matter how I tried to explain it to him he didn't get it. This is a direct conflict... both of us engaged in verbal sparring. He's lucky I didn't lean over the counter and initiate a direct physical altercation and throat punch him, especially after he started bad-mouthing my staff. I shut that down pretty quick. Thirdly 1. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a disagreement between two parties? Direct: "Grey is the most neutrally flattering color for all shades and there's nothing you can say to make me think otherwise." "The hell ever, it's black all the way! Screw you and your grey fetish!" Indirect: "Grey is the most neutrally flattering color for all shades and there's nothing you can say to make me think otherwise." "...You do know that black is also slimming?" 2. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a physical altercation between two parties? Direct: "This Friday afternoon. Schoolyard. No spectators." "You're on!" (the two meet and either beat the crap out of each other or make out?) Indirect: "I heard it was Chad that spread the rumors about you giving Theo a blowjob in the men's room on the second floor." "Oh fuck, Chad heard us? I hope Theo doesn't break up with me because of this!" 3. What are any other types of conflicts that I didn't mention that would result in a direct vs. indirect conflict? Please write an example. Direct: Calling someone out on the spot after being groped in a non-consensual manner. "Respect my boundaries! If I were a felon, you'd have lost your hand right then and there." Indirect: Calling someone out after the fact of being groped in a non-consensual manner. "Text: I didn't want to embarrass you in public, but I don't appreciate being touched without permission, let alone in inappropriate ways. The next time it happens, I won't hesitate to report you." Jason Rimbaud Indirect: Blake laughed and grabbed two beers from the bartender that smiled knowingly at both of them. Blake handed one to Greg and asked, “So why haven’t I seen you around?” “My house is just up the beach a ways,” Greg said as he gestured over his shoulder. “I’m on a quick, mini vacation.” “Me too,” Blake said as he led them on a path that led towards the main house. “I came here because a friend invited me.” “From where?” “LA,” Blake said with a big white smile. “That’s a long way to come for a party,” Greg said with a smirk. “Must either be a good friend or someone you want to fuck.” Blake laughed but quickly said, “A very good friend. Sleeping with her would not be ideal for either of us. And I usually don’t enjoy sleeping with girls.” “Me neither, and when I say I don’t enjoy it, I mean I never have,” Greg said as he finally spied Courtney near the house deep in conversation with a very attractive guy. Their eyes met and Greg waved. She waved back but turned her attention back to the guy next to her. “I have a friend just like that back in high school.” Blake noticed their exchange and asked, “Was that the girl you were looking for?” Greg nodded and Blake asked, “What did you say her name was?” “Courtney.” “Interesting, that’s not the name she gave me when I arrived two days ago,” Blake said conspiratorially as he reached out to stop Greg. Greg stopped and looked over at the girl some thirty yards away. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and said, “That would explain why you didn’t know who I was referring to earlier.” “I guess not everyone here is what they appear to be,” Blake said intently as he peered at the blond girl. “I’d say be careful, but something tells me you already are.” === General thoughts: I won't call them "final" thoughts, as I am still at the very beginning of my writing journey, and I have barely scratched the surface of writing as a whole. However, I will express how grateful I am for everyone who has provided me with help and examples. I am a fairly organized person, so I wanted to compile as much as I can in a blog (for both myself and any other fellow novice writers who might come across it) before the topic thread is buried under the newer topics. This community never ceases to amaze me. I never regret reaching out for help. My sincerest thanks to all of you!

"We use it as both a projectile with handheld slingshots and to write with," Griffin explained. "The color reminded me of you–ah, of your eyes, I mean." - "Here, you could use this to either pelter someone or keep it. It's pretty like your eyes." This had me laughing so hard. At least we know Griffin feels similarly to Peter, why go through the trouble for someone you don't like? Suddenly, a blue blur dove down right into Peter from above. The attack knocked the sharp stone right out of his hand. - He could have used that to pelter that guy! Peter, what are you doing? Losing a weapon almost as soon as you got it. "Why is he such an asshole?" Peter wailed as he inspected the damage. - He unfortunately really likes you. Which is ironic, as I also am working on a story where a bully makes their crush miserable. Completely different from this one, but similar bully motive, that's for sure. "And here he caught you this time. Peter, we need a new place to meet so that I can train you to fight back. He's already aware of this area." - Good point.

"So, they really are saltwater mermen?" Peter sighed in disappointment. - Talk about star-crossed. I'm a little (alright, a lot) behind on reading. But I thought I was up to date on this one but somehow missed the second chapter being posted. I hope they figure something out, those two.

Yes, write us something! Write in my name, as I don't think I'll be able to finish what I'm working on in time to start another story for the anthology. All of my efforts are on trying to finish this one thing. 😅

I'm a little late, but a very happy birthday to you!

Can't participate in this one, despite my story fitting the criteria. It's far too long. 🤣I am looking forward to reading entries, however!