BendtedWreath

What in the surly shrimp was Peter even thinking of a stranger? - 🤣 That's clever, surly shrimp. Despite their different dialects and accents, Peter was able to understand the basslet's song. - That makes me wonder what underwater accent differences sound like. Is it as different as Australian versus Canadian Dialects? 🤔 An interesting and colorful start!

My thoughts are with you and your family during these difficult times. The wait is indeed rough.

@Headstall and @LJCC I have been taking notes this entire time. These examples help tremendously. I am hoping other beginner writers are also paying attention. Nuances and subtext are still difficult for me to portray well. Many, many thanks to everyone!!

The refusal to head hop is what made it challenging. Thanks so much for your input and for the example!

Sailor Spice doesn't sound like much of an insult to me. 🤣 But I've completely forgotten about handwritten communication (or texting and emailing). Thanks for your input!

I believe it's third person limited.

Ah, so Pepe IS Joseph! I'm glad you pointed that out. 🤣

I didn't think about pointing out Character 1's thoughts or thought progression/mental perceptions. 🤔And speculating about how we think others view us is something we subconsciously do every day. I just need to try to "transfer" that way of thinking onto the written page. Thank you so much for your input! Now, if I can only figure out what "gradual" in "Character 2's mental language" looks like in my head. 😂

Actions speak louder than words! ...but do they always? I find myself in a challenging situation in which Character 2 barely believes Character 1's actions are sincere since they were perceived incorrectly, and he believes the words coming out of Character 1's mouth even less! My goal is to show Character 2 changing his mind gradually. But that had me wondering everyone else's methods to help showcase another character while the main character is still very much the key tool through which we are measuring everything that happens. Other than their actions and their words, how would YOU show what another character is thinking while being limited to the main character's overall point of view?

Gary's writing style is as eloquent as his comments. This was a real pleasure for his first entry! I would gladly read more and more.

Juan groaned half-silently as the harsh bell on the old alarm clock rang out in his dark and spartan bedroom. - Already, this is incredibly descriptive. Before we even started the second paragraph, we can already start guessing at things, like Juan's mother being religious. What a strong start! But then a worry entered his head: was he on their lists? Had he been seen approaching that bar in the town 25 kilometres away? - I know that fear too well! "Hopefully, the next generation will give us a team of potters to be proud of.” He was to pass away still disappointed and deceived. - Oh, let him keep such useless feelings as disappointment. Everyone has different skills and talents. I'm actually glad Juan didn't have a kid, or else his grandfather would have tried to burden the child with such lofty "straightly painted pottery lines" expectations. His reverie was interrupted by a loud crash of falling pottery, by a strong, very unlady-like curse, and by the door opening to announce that Mother had arrived. - Whoa! It's hard enough for him to sell anything. Ruining his hard work is wasting money, Mom! But his thoughts were on that brief encounter with the guys from the other evening. Why? - The real question is who wouldn't prefer thinking about better moments like someone giving you a free drink at a bar and trying to talk to you? Jack sighed and headed to the kitchen to escape. Sometimes Johannes was just too much. - HA! I just realized...Juan, Joan, Jack, and Johannes all start with J...I'm just a tiny bit disappointed Pepe wasn't a Jose, Joel, or Julio to complete the set. This was a really solid read, though I wish we had more detail and longer scenes towards the end (just like how the beginning scenes were). I think this was supposed to be your prompt piece, so I understand the rush to finish. The ending of mine didn't feel as detailed, either. I'm glad Juan's free AND that he managed to expand his business, even if he hasn't fully realized it yet. The area he lives in feels a bit dangerous, though, to keep his orientation from garnering too much religious attention. Overall, I really enjoyed this. I'm looking forward to more stories from you!

Do anthology entries need to be complete works?

Having read three of this author's stories almost back-to-back, I can say for certain that I look forward to anything and everything written by @wildone from now on. As for why Ethan's underwear is in the swimming pool, you'll have to read and find out for yourself.

I couldn’t believe that Todd from the university swimming team was actually in the uni pool at this time of night or even the bigger surprise that he was talking to me. - Wait...Todd from the previous story, Todd?? If it is, I'm glad he has someone crushing on him at Uni! It's been a while coming. The second day I wear some cargo shorts with all the pockets filled with socks - 😂What a method of madness. Who would think losing a pair would end up this way? - 🤣!!

You never know what a bully struggles with until you truly get to know them. This was an excellent story that made me feel hopeful.