My Jump Off - 5. Chapter 5

The temperature in Andrew's house was low, making goose bumps appear all over my body as we lay still in his bed. His fingers ran gently over the length of my torso, starting at the base of my neck and gliding to my navel, where he drew an imaginary circle with his finger tips and made his way back up. For my part, I was enjoying the feel of his soft, stringy brown hair with my own fingers as I enjoyed the tickley feeling he was giving me.

We had gotten as close as we ever had to actually going all the way, but I stopped short because I wanted to be sure it was what he wanted. The thing about Andrew that attracted me to him so much was the fact that he was always down to do whatever I wanted. So, in that regard, I knew I could have my way with him. The problem was, I wanted him to want it.

So, instead, I went slow. When I got to his place, he melted me with his smile. I let him lead me up to his room where we sat and gave each other goofy grins before I took his hand and laid back on his bedspread. He laid down with me and we moved in for a kiss. His tongue felt so soft and yet so strong in my mouth as we said hello in our own silent way.

I slid my hands up his shirt and with a blissful smile, he closed his eyes and I felt his shoulders tense up for a moment as I ran my hands over his smooth stomach and chest. I hooked my forearms under his arms and shoulders as I crawled on top of him and deepened my kiss. I felt him reach down and start to pull my shirt up, so I unhooked my arms and let him pull it up over my head. When it was off, I grabbed his shirt and did the same.

The next move came naturally. I felt his fingers working on the button of my pants, so I simply supported my weight with the palms of my hand on my bed and let him work. Before I knew what was happening, he had my pants and my boxers down around my knees. That was a first. In all the times that we'd hooked up, neither of us had actually gotten undressed beyond taking our shirts off.

By the time I got his pants off, he was stroking my hard on slowly and breathing heavily as I reached down to grab his balls and our kiss deepened yet again.

At some point, I repositioned myself so that we were in a sixty nine. I wasn't sure how he'd feel about having my crotch in his face, so I laid flat and guided his body until he was on top of me. I took long strokes with my tongue at his balls and his hard on while he moaned louder.

When I was sure he was enjoying what I was doing, I carefully eased his cock in my mouth and ran my tongue over the head of it. While I was doing this, I reached up with my hands and parted his butt cheeks. It wasn't too hard for me to slip a finger inside of him, and almost immediately, I could feel his whole body tense up. He tried to warn me to pull off of him, but I just gave him a pat on the leg to let him know I didn't want to stop.

While he was coming, I pressed harder with my finger against the hot walls of his butt hole, making sure I flicked my finger back and forth. I felt him collapse on top of me and I knew he was done. I pulled my finger out and released his cock, which was still rock hard, and I crawled beside him. He rolled over and I moved in for another kiss.

As we kissed, I wound up on top of him and somehow, I ended up between his legs. He had a grin on his face when the head of my hard on touched his opening, which was throwing out heat. He picked his legs up and repositioned himself, under me, but as I started to press, I saw him wince and stopped right away.

There was no way I wanted to hurt him. The feelings I had for him were too strong at that moment. I couldn't explain it if I had to, but I suddenly felt fiercely protective of him and his feelings. So I decided we were done. I let him stay under me and we kissed for a while, but eventually, we laid next to each other and I let him finish me off with his hand as we made out.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," I said as his finger traced over my torso.

"You didn't hurt me at all," he said.

"I mean when I tried to push it in," I explained.

"I know," he said with a grin, then he reached down and grabbed my cock. "I wanted it."

"I think we should wait," I said. "I want you to feel good when I do it."

"I feel good right now," he said playfully as he stroked my cock again. His hand was making me hard again, and when he leaned in for another kiss, I had to respond. Our tongues wrestled passionately as I felt him climb on top of me, straddling me as our kissing got more intense. He took both of my hands in his as we made out, and before I knew what was happening, he had backed himself up, placing his ass against my raging hard cock. He broke the kiss for a moment and pushed his hot hole against the head until I felt him starting to slowly envelope me.

He stopped for a few moments and I was definitely worried about him. He had an uncomfortable look on his face, but soon, he relaxed and started to move back and forth.

"I can't believe it's finally happening," he said between the short breaths he was taking. His own cock was standing at attention, so I reached out and grabbed it. Almost as soon as I started to stroke him, he came. That was a good thing, because I was about to blow my load again. As his eyes rolled back in his head, I shot hard as his hips rocked back and forth and his ass muscles contracted against my hard on.

I felt so bad when we were finished. I had decided that I wasn't going to take his virginity, but I lost control and allowed it to happen. I had a terrible feeling in my gut because I didn't want to make him fall in love. I was dreading hearing him say the three words I was certain would be coming out of his mouth.

"That was great," he said as he moved his brown hair out of his eyes.

"It was," I agreed. "Are you sure your okay?"

"Am I okay?" he asked incredulously. "I'm better than okay. I feel so, .... I can't even describe it."

Instead of responding, I leaned in and kissed him again. I was having a hard time dealing with the feelings I was having. If I had to describe them at that moment, I would have called them love.

Wait. What the fuck?

This was not what I was planning on.

"So did you have fun riding your dirt bike today?" he asked.

My dirt bike? What about us? What about what just happened? How did my dirt bike come up?

I was at a loss. I had to blink for a second. Did he just ask me about my dirt bike? That was more than a little mind numbing.

Okay, what was wrong with me? I didn't want him to fall in love with me. He was my side dish. Why was I sweating this? I finally answered.

"Yeah," I sad nonchalantly, starting to calm down. I knew I was being irrational, but the idea that he was taking what we had done so lightly was shocking to me. I mean, was it all lust? I had been telling myself that it was this whole time. So why was I tripping? I decided to relax when I figured out that this was what I wanted. Wasn't it?

The next day, Phillip and I woke up early and met on the trail in the woods to have breakfast at the International House of Pancakes for breakfast. As soon as I spotted him waiting for me against a tree, I felt guilty and a little confrontational. He was wearing a pair of tan khaki shorts and a white Emerica shirt. His hair looked so good, too. I knew I had to put all of those feelings to rest though, because he had a huge smile on his face when he saw me coming.

"What's wrong, babe," he asked sweetly as I approached.

"Nothing," I said quietly, then thinking quickly, I added, "I just wanted to see you. I missed you yesterday."

He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a kiss on the lips, then he rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me for a hug.

"I love you Phillip," I said, feeling insecure.

"I love you too, Jarred," he said. "Are you ready?"

"Can we just stay here for a minute?" I asked. "I want you to hold me."

I have no idea where that came from, but I knew it was the truth. I was feeling rejected by Andrew. I knew I could never tell Phillip that, but it was the truth. I just didn't think I would feel this bad about it.

In that moment, I had a different epiphany. I loved Phillip, and I didn't want to cheat on him anymore.

"Tell me what's wrong," he said softly.

"I just feel like I love you so much," I answered. "Tell me we'll always be together."

"We will," he said with a reassuring tone. "I promise."

We stood there in each others arms for a long time, then finally, we held hands all the way to IHOP. As we made our way down the trail, I could feel his hand gently squeezing mine. I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled at him as we kept moving.

As I picked at my food, my mind kept going back to the day before. What was wrong with me? What made me decided to go see Andrew to begin with? Why couldn't I make better decisions?

I knew the answer. It was that I could make better choices. All I had to do was think with my heart and my head instead of my dick. The first decision I was going to make was to never see Andrew again.

I wasn't going to risk hurting Phillip. I already messed up, and he had his suspicions.

"You know I love you, right?" I said.

"I know that, Jarred," he said. "I love you too."

That brought a smile to my face. I looked down at my pancakes, which had been filling my nostrils with wonderful smells, and dug in.

On the way home, I had an overwhelming urge to show Phillip just how much I loved him. As we walked through the woods, I led him off the trail and into the trees, where I literally attacked his body with my tongue.

I started on his neck, then, once I got his shirt up over his head, I moved to his nipples. As I worked on his nipples with my mouth, I worked on his fly with my fingers. Once I got his shorts down, I moved down to his cock. I hungrily took it in my mouth and sucked it, then I pulled it out and licked it up and down before I swallowed it again. I felt his fingers running through my hair as I worked on him, eagerly waiting for his load. I got my reward in no time at all. As I sat back and swallowed, Phillip gave me a loving look. I stood up and gave him a kiss, then I told him I loved him as he shoved his hand down the front of my jeans. I looked down at his hand, which was grabbing my hard cock, and unbuttoned my pants. When my jeans fell, he moved back in for another kiss. When we broke it, he whispered in my ear.

"Fuck me."

"Right here?" I asked.

"Right here," he said seductively. He turned around and put his hands against one of the many trees we were surrounded by and stuck his ass out for me. I ran my hand up and down his crack, then I moved in with my finger. I buried it, then I added a second finger and dropped to my knees again. I used my two fingers to stretch his hole a little, then I spit a little on my other hand and coated his hole with it.

I stood up and lined my hard on up with his hole, then I pushed in. Phillip moaned loudly as I ran up in him, then he got quiet and bucked back and forth with my strokes. This was our first time ever doing anything as crazy as having sex in a public place, and I was more than a little anxious to finish as soon as we could. I was a little worried that I wouldn't make Phillip cum again, but when we heard a jogger running along the trail, that suddenly became the last thing on my mind.

We both froze and stayed quiet until the foot steps faded. When we started again, it didn't take either one of us long to cum.

If I would have had one wish at that moment, it would have been for us to be in my bed, where we could lay together and soak up the moment. But, even though we were nowhere near my room, I had so many feelings of love and devotion that I was truly satisfied just to be there with him.

After we were dressed again, I took a seat on the ground and leaned back against the tree. I reached up and took Phillips hands in mine and pulled him down into my lap, where he snuggled up to my neck and started to suck. He sucked just long enough to leave a dark red mark, then he brought his face up to mine and we kissed for the remainder of the time we were there.

"Phillip, I want you to know something," I said between kisses. He moved in for another assault with his tongue, then he smiled and waited for me to continue. "If we never had sex again, and I couldn't kiss you ever again, it wouldn't matter to me. You're all that matters to me. I'm satisfied just being in love with you."

When I finished, Phillip looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. But when his eyes watered up and he wrapped his arms around me for another hug, I knew he was happy.

"I love you babe," he said quietly as we hugged each other. "I feel the same way."

"Give me another kiss," I said, and he immediately locked his lips onto mine and our tongues met again.

Eventually, we had to get up and head home. We both had to check in, especially since I for one hadn't bothered to tell my parents that I was leaving to meet Phillip at IHOP. Leaving Phillip that morning was hard to do. In fact, it left me with a sadness I had never felt before. As I watched him turn and head toward his house, I was almost reduced to tears. This was definitely not normal for me.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and laid down face first on my bed to sulk. I had my cell phone with me, and I was hoping Phillip was going to call me so I could at least hear his voice. Of course, what I really wanted was for him to show up so I could hold his hand and cuddle with him, even if it had to be on the swing in the backyard or on the couch in the living room so my parents wouldn't worry about whether or not we were having sex.

Ten minutes went by, and I hadn't heard from him. I looked at the clock and realized it was only Eight o'clock in the morning, so it was way to early to call his house. But why couldn't he call me on my cell phone?

I could feel the despair building in my chest and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I let the tears start to fall and sobbed quietly. I really missed my boyfriend, and even though it had only been about 15 minutes since we had seen each other, not knowing whether or not I was going to get to see him again that day hurt.

I had no idea where all of this was coming from, but I knew that it all felt so real to me. I mean, maybe I had felt this way all along but I didn't realize it. Or, maybe these feelings were brand new. They certainly felt brand new. Or, maybe I hadn't felt that way all along, and maybe they weren't brand new either. Maybe they had been building in me this whole time.

Maybe I was getting what I deserved. I spent the last few months cheating on Phillip, who could be a pain in my ass sometimes but who was definitely in love with me. He was as true as they come. Even though we fought, he never stopped being there for me. Maybe I didn't deserve him.

Then there was Andrew, who I had been cheating with and misleading the whole time. True, he never asked me about having a boyfriend, but then again, I never mentioned the fact that I had one either. I was having a hard time sorting out my feelings for him. Part of me never wanted to speak to him again for the way he treated me after we had sex. I mean, what the hell? How could he do something that special with me and not offer me any feelings of love?

Then there was the part of me that never wanted to see Andrew again because I decided that I would never cheat on Phillip again. It would kill him if he ever found out about it, and I had a bad feeling that things would definitely be over for us. I couldn't live with that.

The sound of my cell phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I pushed the button without bothering to check who it was.

"Hey dude," I heard Andrew say on the other end.

"Hey Andrew," I answered, taking a deep breath and trying to compose myself.

"I was wondering what you were doing today," he said hopefully.

"Well, actually, I'm not sure yet," I answered. "I think my parents want to do something later."

"Oh," he sighed. "Do you think if you aren't busy later we could see each other?" That was all it took. Before I knew what had come over me, I found myself answering his question with a very cheery, "Sure."