Sex, Money, and Fame - 11. Chapter 11- Other side of the Rainbow

Desdemona stands at her mark trying to breathe in this god-awful ball grown they put her in. She is starving. She eyes the crafts table across the studio hanger. Oh god, she wants a muffin. But she can't move, because the crew is setting up the lights around her.

Most celebrities get stand-ins, but Jeff tells her not to be difficult.

She looks around at the white sound sage. The crew tests the paint hoses. She loves the idea of rainbow paint coming down the walls in one of her music videos. But she still doesn't get why she has to be in this dress. The back-up dancers line up on the sides.

Were back-up dancers really needed?

She steps up into the open wooden frame on wheels.

She gets the signal that they are ready to start. She takes a deep breath to stop thinking about muffins.

The lights flash red. Another male director calls for action.

The fast guitar music plays. It still feels weird to her not playing live. She begins to sing.

The dancers enter, beginning their choreography. Two men roll the frame across the stage. Desdemona shifts her feet to maintain balance, without breaking eye contact with the camera.

The paint stares rushing down the walls. But she can't look at it. The men spin her around. She grabs onto the edges of the frame while posing.

The dancers moved to the sides. Desdemona steps out, taking two steps forward...then bam!

The glitter cannon explodes right into her face. She closes her eyes, backing up.

Desdemona stops lip singing and yells out, "What the fuck is that?"

Everyone halts and stares at her. The so-called director comes toward her.

"Hey, Dez baby, what's the problem?"

"First of all, don't call me baby. Second Look." Desdemona yells with her finger up, then starts coughing up glitter.

He rolls his eyes at her, "You were only supposed to take one step. If you had actually done that. You wouldn't have gotten hit."

Boy is she tempted to punch him.

"Okay." He says, very annoyed, "Give us two minutes to clean it up, and then we will run it again." He turns his back to her and mumbles, "Bitch."

That was it.

She walks past him and gets a muffin. She storms off the set, eating her muffin.

Jeff runs after her, "What are you doing?"

She stops and turns to him, "I'm getting drunk."

***

Still wearing a ball grown, covered in glitter, Desdemona walks through West Hollywood with a 40 in one hand and a Twinkie in the other. She's actually surprised no paparazzi are following her. Must be something insane going on in the hills.

She walks by the Rainbow Tango. She doesn't think she has ever seen it in the daylight. So she walks inside. There were literally five people in the club. Sitting at tables with dirty glasses. Desdemona sits at the table in the back and begins watching the performer on stage. A 6-foot- tall, black drag queen, belting Over the Rainbow. Desdemona leans in. She had always been fascinated by drag queens. Growing up in the club circuit back to Houston, she had befriended quite a few.

The queen on stage was 300 lbs with a five o'clock shadow. Yet she sings as if she is the most beautiful in the world. Drag, back in Texas, wasn't as...cool as it was in West Hollywood, where even the mailman wore lipstick and high heels. Drag queens elsewhere had the unfortunate pleasure of being discriminated against in two genders. Yet a drag queen will slap glitter herself and come out cheerful.

The performer looks over at her. She smiles and snaps her fingers as a sign of approval. Desdemona snaps back. Desdemona looks around to see the people now staring at her.

At first, she figures because she was the only one day-drinking in a ball gown. But she realized she had been recognized by her blue and red highlights.

Everyone seems to slowly move toward her as if she is a wild animal. Desdemona grabs the sides of her dress, jumps off the chair, and dashes out to the doors. But then, the awful dress trips her at the doorway. She tumbles on the sidewalk, rolling over to see paparazzi greeting her.

***

Desdemona knew she was in trouble as Jeff came up to the jail cell.

"I bailed you out." He coldly says as the cell opens, "Public intoxication and a walk-off, in one day. Really?"

She opens her mouth. Jeff puts his hand up.

"In the car."

***

As she buckles her seat belt in the back seat, she tries to keep her body from shaking. Daddy was going to yell at her.

"You know you're paying for that dress now," Jeff says, starting up his car.

She nods.

"So." Jeff pulls out of the police station, "Talk to me? What happened?"

Desdemona crosses her arms, "It was a mockery of my song. What the need for this...fluff?"

"Because.'' Jeff looks at her in his rearview mirror, "Fluff is entertaining. You knew sacrifices had to be made in order to thrive in the business."

"I know but..."

"Why can't you just do one fluff song?"Jeff asks, "Why can't you just do one fluffy cotton candy, happy song?"

"Because I don't know what happiness is" She blurts out. "I don't know what happy means. So I don't know what it sounds like."

The car grew silent.

"When I was 16. I became friends with a drag queen named Rainbow."

"Rainbow?"Jeff chuckles.

"Rainbow was the first gay person I met. She was black, 6 feet tall, and stunning. We met while we were both performing at a variety show at the bar. She was on right before me. I used to wait in the wings and watch her. She had this big, amazing voice. And she sang with so much heart and soul. I had never seen someone so glamorous yet was so kind."

"Ok?" Jeff raised his eyebrows, still figuring where this is going.

"One night, I was passing by an alley, to go into the club. And I saw it."

"Saw what?"

"These guys surrounded her. They were beating her with baseball bats, repeatedly calling her....faggot and,...every horrible thing you could think of."

Desdemona closes her eyes to keep control of her emotions.

"Rainbow didn't show up for her act. And when they skipped to me, I felt it. I just somehow knew she was dead. And she was dead because she was different. I knew nothing about being gay, but I just felt it, when I walked up to the mic. I looked out to the audience, and she wasn't there. But the men were, acting like they didn't do anything."

Desdemona buckles her seat belt. She stares in space thinking for a minute. She bobs her head.

"At a bar, I met a woman, 6 feet tall, gold glitter-covered her Adam's apple." She blows her brown hair out of her face," She changed my life her rendition of Over the Rainbow."

Her head clicked again. She bangs her hands on the door.

"Let's go on to the other side of the rainbow," She sings. "Because life is too short to keep on hatin." She bangs on the window on the dashboard again, "Come on down and stand tall."

"That sounds good Des," Jeff says, still very confused, "Catchy."

"Yea," she bangs on the dashboard again, "I need to write this down."