Sex, Money, and Fame - 12. Chapter 12- Hidden

Sixteen-year-old Desdemona, dressed in preppy clothes, sits at the front desk of her grandfather's auto shop. The office phone to her ear.

"Hi Mr. Hebert," she says. "I'm calling you to inform you that your car should be ready for pick up tomorrow at 1," she smiles. "Yes, and the rest of your payment will be $300. Alright, thank you and see you soon."

She goes back to filing paperwork. She sees a headline on her cellphone. TEXAS GAY TEEN TAKES HIS OWN LIFE.

She looks away and toward a customer.

"Hey Mr. Goodson, I'll tell my papa you're here."

"Thank you, Desi."

She opens the door to the shop.

"Papa, Mr. Goodson is here."

"Thanks, sugar pie."

Her grandfather comes in with Riley, rattling on about complex car stuff.

"So...the car is okay?" Riley asks because he has no idea what he was saying.

"Yes." Her grandfather nods.

"Thanks for looking at it Mr. Brown."

"If you're going to be driving around my little star, gotta keep your car in good shape. She knows what to do in an emergency, but a woman shouldn't have to."

He shakes Mr. Goodson's hand, "Hey Albert, got your baby purring."

"Good," Mr. Goodson says. "So are y'all going to church tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Can't wait to see Desi perform, " he smiles at Desdemona. "You're the best singer our choir's got."

"Thank you," Desdemona says. "I love to sing."

Her grandfather smiles and motions Mr. Goodson to the shop. They leave.

Desdemona turns to her phone.

Riley leans in, "What's the matter?"

"Another gay teen suicide. 15 miles from here," she whispers.

"Oh,"

"Someone wrote faggot on his locker."

"Desi..."

"It's wrong."

"I know it's wrong. But he should have been...smarter. He should have made sure nobody knew."

"Riley..."

The men walk back in. Riley kisses her on the cheek and waves good-bye.

***

Young Desdemona turns on the shower. She puts it on hot. She takes off her cross necklace and steps in, her legs with scars all over them. She sits in the shower and folds her hands.

"Lord please forgive me for sins. Please fix me so I can be normal. Please burn out all the bad in me. Please make me good."

***

Desdemona and Caroline lay on the floor of Desdemona's bedroom. Caroline with headphones on, swipes her tears.

Desdemona nervously, plays with the carpet. She had been watching the minutes. Caroline was almost done listening to the entire album.

The first person in the world to hear her new album. She watches Caroline's eyes shift. The new song was beginning. Caroline smiles and bobs her head to the music.

Desdemona lies to her head down. Her cheek burning on the rough carpet, until Caroline takes the headphones off.

"So?" Desdemona's voice shakes.

"Dez," Caroline says, "This is the best thing I've ever heard."

"Be honest." Desdemona rolls over to her back.

"I am. Not only are the songs amazing and...tell a story...but the order you put them in...tells a bigger story."

"Really? I'm glad at least somebody noticed."

"You did that on purpose?"

Desdemona sits up, "Yea, I wanted the album to be a journey.."

"A journey of your coming out?"

"Yea," Desdemona shifts, "There's a lot riding on this album. I don't want to screw it up,"

Caroline rolls closer to her.

"You're not. It's going to be great, because...you bled all over it."

"You know, you're the first person to hear it fully," Desdemona says.

"I'm honored," Caroline says, moving to head forward.

Their noses touch.

Desdemona backs away.

"Hey um.." Caroline looks down, "My birthday is coming up and I'm having a party...would you want to come?"

The door opens. Riley and Justin come in with plastic bags of food.

"Hey girls."

"Hey, gays." Desdemona says getting up before turning back to Caroline, "Sure. Text me the details."

She walks to the counter and starts unloading bags. She finds a pack of cookies.

"You found these?

Riley turns around, "Of course."

Caroline smiles at seeing Desdemona's sweet side.

"Can I help?" Caroline steps up.

Riley smiles and hands her a bag.

Desdemona's phone beeps.

I'm coming up now

"Oh shit. I totally lost track of time. Darla is here," She mumbles and texts back.

No need, I'll meet you down there.

Desdemona gathers her keys.

"Oh, you two have a date?" Caroline asks innocently while loading the freezer.

"We are going dress shopping." Desdemona replies, "I can wait a little for your ride to come?"

Caroline rolls her eyes.

"Um," Riley says. "After we finish unloading, I can take her home?"

"Are you sure?" Desdemona says.

"Is that okay with you, Caroline?" Riley says turning to her.

"Yea, that's great with me." Caroline grins.

***

Desdemona walks out of the fitting room in a tight red dress.

"I don't know about this."

Darla gasps, "Oh my god. You look so hot."

"It's too tight."

"Tight is good."

"I'm not ready for this launch party," Desdemona looks into the mirror and examines her butt. "But I can't choose what I wear."

Darla smiles onward, "But aren't you excited? They're throwing you a major party."

"I was." Desdemona says looking at the mirror, trying to style her, "I look here and I see...a fake...and I thought I was done being a fake."

"We make sacrifices for our work Desi."

"I know... but,"Desdemona walks up to her and kisses Darla on the lips. "It would way more fun if you were my date."

Darla scowls, "Why can't I be your date?"

Desdemona pulls her phone from her jeans. Ignoring Darla's question.

"Can you take a picture of the dress?" Desdemona asks her own question, "Jeff wants final approval."

Darla nods. Desdemona hands her the phone and steps back. Darla holds up the camera and takes the picture of Desdemona frowning.

She turns back to mirror, "I'm going to try a bigger size."

"You're wearing the right size," Darla assures. "You're just afraid to show how great your ass is ."

Darla spanks her on the ass and giggles. Desdemona walks back into the fitting room.

Desdemona's phone beeps, still in Darla's hand.

A text from Caroline.

Darla raises up her eyebrows. She swipes up and opens the text. She reads the first line.

So my birthday party is...

Darla deletes the text and puts the phone down next to her.

Then she gets up and sneaks into the dressing room. She sees Desdemona struggling to pull the dress around her ankles.

"Let me help you."

Darla pulls the dress off and sets it aside. She puts her hands on Desdemona's thighs, moving her hands upward.

"What are you doing?" Desdemona asks, smiling.

Darla moves her body up to Desdemona's face and kisses her cheek, her ear, and then her neck. Desdemona closes her eyes. Darla slides her hand into Desdemona's underwear and begins to finger her.

"We're going to get in trouble." Desdemona chuckles.

"Then you better be quiet," Darla smirks.

Desdemona tilts her head back and gasps but stops her throat from making a sound.

"Oh my god, you're awesome." Desdemona whispers.

***

"Yea, and Riley is running behind me in his boxers...carrying this purse." Justin laughs, closing the icebox.

"Justin gets to the truck first, so he's like 'guys hurry, " Riley says wiping down the counter. "And Desi is running and laughing so hard, I swear she peed her pants."

Caroline laughs, quickly checking her phone again.

Desdemona hasn't replied to her text yet.

"So you've known Des for a long time?" She asks Riley.

"I've known her since forever, " Riley says. "That's my original ride or die."

He kisses Justin, "Until you."

"I know." Justin turns to Caroline. "I've only known Des since Junior year. But she and Riley grew up together."

"So you know everything about each other?"

"Yea?"

"So you know her real name?"

Riley and Justin look at each other.

"Desdemona is one hell of a complex woman. She's got layers and layers, that all contradict each other."

"I love her," Caroline says.

The boys huff and look down in disbelief.

"I'm serious. I want to know everything."

"I don't think you can handle..."

"I can handle it. I can handle all of her baggage, but I need to know what that is."

"You think you can trust her?" Justin asks Riley.

"Yes! You can totally trust me. I swear won't tell anybody. Riley please?"

"Sit down."

Caroline sits down on the couch.

Riley grabs a thin book.

"Are you sure?" Justin asks.

"Desi is going to reveal everything at some point anyway. Caroline deserves to know what she's getting into."

Riley sits down next to her. Justin sits on the chair across from them.

Riley hands her the book.

"This is Desi and I's high school yearbook."

She turns the cover and sees a lot of signatures, "You were popular huh?"

Riley nods. He turns the book to a bookmarked page titled, "Sock Top Homecoming."

Caroline gasps seeing young Desdemona in a poodle skirt dancing with young Riley in a football letterman jacket.

"No way."

Caroline searches and points to the description, "Sophomore Riley Hudson dances with his sweetheart Sophomore Desi Mae Brown."

Caroline pauses processing the information.

"Desi Mae Brown?"

"She always hated that name," Riley says. "She says it sounds like a redneck stripper. "

"I think it's beautiful actually," Caroline says."It's weird seeing her so..."

"Conservative?" Riley chuckles. "She loves the 50's you know, she's a sucker for those old cheesy musicals."

"I would have never guessed that."

He turns the book to another marked page.

"Young Christens of America," Caroline reads out loud. "She was in this?"

"We both were." Riley points to a picture of the two of them sitting together with bibles.

Caroline gasps, "I can't believe it. So what happened?"

"That is something Desi should tell you about," Riley takes the book. "I thought you should know about Desi Mae, because as much as Desdemona wants to forget about the past, it's still there. She tried so much to be the girl in these pictures, but she just couldn't be what her family wanted."