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Another Gay Writer

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About Another Gay Writer

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    Acting, Film, Poetry, and many more.

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  1. Desdemona opens her eyes. She looks over at Darla. She’s sleeping like a rock. She sits up in bed. She can’t stop thinking about Caroline. After going back and forth in her head she picked up her phone. Hey She texts Caroline. She puts her phone down. She didn’t suspect Caroline would text back right away. Hell, Caroline may have changed her number for all she knew. Hey, I just want to make sure ya’ll were okay. *** Caroline wakes up in her childhood bedroom. She yawns and grabs her phone. Hey Hey, I just want to make sure ya’ll were okay. It’s from a number not currently saved in her phone. However, as she reads it again, she notices the word ya’ll. *** Desdemona cheeks her phone again in hair and makeup. It was so stupid to think Caroline would text her back. “Yo Des.” She looks up to see Rachel Benson, one the producers, standing in front of her. “You okay?” “Yea.” Desdemona puts her phone away in her bag, “Are they ready for me on set?” Rachel nods. Desdemona gets from the chair. They walk together. “Is Cane my pain, already there?” Rachel chuckles, “Cynthia is on her way.” “I don’t get why she doesn't like me.” “She’s just been in this business way too long.” Desdemona plays Alex, a bisexual poet, and performance artist. It was interesting playing someone totally different from herself. Alex is quirky, bubbly, and was awkward when it came to picking up chicks. Which definitely wasn’t Desdemona. Cynthia places Diana a closeted lesbian who fears coming out publicly will ruin her basketball career. In real life, Cynthia was very much out of the closest and very much respected for “Oscar-worthy” movies. Cynthia Cane plays Desdemona’s best friend on the show. But in real life, they can’t stand each other. Cynthia just has a stick up her ass about everything. They walk to the sound stage where the coffee shop set was at. “Hey, do you think Darla might be interested in a guest appearance?” “I don’t know.” Desdemona says, “Darla has never acted.” “Just thought I’d ask. We are casting for a barista.” “Really?” Desdemona says, not seemly interested. “I thought we were just using random extras.” “We were.” Rachel says, nodding, “But we thought we would try out having some recurring roles. So if Darla is interested, maybe it would be a cool in-joke.” “I doubt it,” Desdemona says going to her mark, “Thanks for asking. But now, I have to pretend I like Cynthia.” *** Celia and Caroline walked into the rehab visiting area. It was an awkward ride there. The last thing she wants is to hang around with her mother. But this seems to be the only way she can see her brother. Celia had a tight grasp on things. The two sat down at a table. This rehab was fancier than a five-star hotel. Of course, Celia would put him in a bougie place like this. Celia just has to have the best of everything. Someone even serves them sparkling water on a silver platter. A nurse came in with Jesse. Wow, it was like she hadn’t seen him in 10 years. He was pale. His hair was ragged and long enough to put in a ponytail. But what she noticed most was his brown eyes. They looked...ashamed. He couldn’t look at her. She reached out and put her arm around him. He hugged her back but still looked down at the floor. “How are you feeling?” Celia asks. He rubs his hands together. “Not the best..” He shivers. Celia and Jesse started talking about the treatment plan. She tunes most of it out. She looks at him and notices how much her brother looks like her dad. And she’s not sure if that’s good or bad. She looks down at her phone. Another text. Hey, Caroline, it’s Desdemona I was just curious if you are interested in acting? “Acting?” She mumbles then she turns back to her family, “I might need an agent.” *** Desdemona sits at the keyboard at her home studio. Caroline still hasn’t replied back. She plays slowly. “It’s half pass late. And my head isn’t thinking right. I see your face went I sleep Baby don’t you know, I’ve been thinking about ya. You’ve got under my skin. And you grabbed my bleeding heart. Now here we are. This is a message. From me to you. Letting you know, I get drunk off the taste of your lips. Letting you know. How badly I want to touch you right now. This is a message From me to you I’m reaching out. I want to feel your skin. Come on baby answer me. I won’t sleep tonight. Oh ooh baby answer me I want to intertwine. I just want to watch you, looking at me. And get lost in each other. But you haven’t replied. Now here we are. This is message From me to you. Letting you know, I get drunk off the taste of your lips. Letting you know How badly I want to touch you right now. This is message From me to you “ Her phone beeps. It’s Caroline. I actually am. Can you get an audition? *** Caroline walks through the studio warehouse. She has never auditioned before. But she had done some research. She had met with her brother’s one time agent. He was okay she guesses, and Celia trusted him so why not? She kept having to remind herself to slowly breathe. “Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath,” She mumbled. She had been given the name Rachel Benson and told to meet her at office 2B. Caroline didn’t understand why she was so nervous. She never had a problem with public speaking, and she has had cameras shoved in her face for as long as she could remember, so this should be easy. She sees 2B on an opened door. She knocks on the white door and steps in. There is a group of people she doesn't know, they all stare at her. “Hey I’m Caroline Abrams I’m here to audition.” A brunette with kind blue eyes approached her and held out her hands, “I’m Rachel Benson. Let’s take a seat.” They sit across from each other. “Ms. Abrams, we were so glad to hear from you. Why did you want to be on our show, specifically?” Caroline took a deep breath. The truth is that she wants to be closer to Desdemona. She’s not sure what “they are” but she needed her. But when she searched her mind, she found another answer. “Your show is about queer people and I want to a part of that. I want to do something...for pansexual repenstation.” They all stared at her, like they were caught off guard. “Oh.” Rachel nodded then motioned her hand, “So you are…” “Pan.” Caroline nodded, “I’m part of the LGBT community.” Rachel smiled, “I’m glad that you are passionate. We would love to have you, but we want to clarify your statement about your pay rate.” “Oh I don’t need any more money,” Caroline blurted out. Everyone chuckled. “I mean.” Caroline had to back pedal, “I want to get paid the same amount you would somebody else.” “Really?” “Yes,” Caroline nods. “My father put in a lot of hard work to become who he was….and I want to put the work too.” She was proud of herself for saying something so mature. Rachel smiled, “Can you say, ‘here is your coffee’? Caroline took a deep breath, “Here is your coffee.”
  2. Desdemona and Darla quietly walk into their kitchen. Darla says she’ll make coffee for them. But suddenly Desdemona scoops her up on to the kitchen island. She kisses her forcefully as she lifts Darla’s shirt to her armpits. Darla is confused by this sudden wave of affection, but so thrilled that Desdemona is finally touching her again. She backs off from the kiss to pull off the top as Desdemona unbuttons her pants almost ripping them as she pulls them off. Desdemona slips her fingers into Darla’s panties but she finds that the island is too high up and can’t angle her hand right. Darla kisses her encouragingly, as Desdemona tries to readjust. Desdemona huffs and steps away. She takes one of her shoes off and throws it across the room. Then takes the other shoe off and throws that one too. She grunts raising her hands into two fists. Then she starts beating her fist on the kitchen island huffing and grunting. Darla is careful to wait until she stops to grab Desdemona into a hug soothing her. *** Caroline wakes up, something feels off about today. She looks around at the studio apartment. Everything looks the same. She looks over at Krystal, next to her. She’s sleeping like a rock. She digs through the bed to find her phone. There were like 50 text messages of people asking about Jesse and referring to a video. Finally one of them actually gives her a link. She clicks on it. The camera is pretty shaky, and it was dark but she could see Desdemona dragged out of a club and falling onto the ground. She had never seen Desdemona actually stumble. She sees Desdemona puke on herself. Then a huge man in black hurling her brother onto the ground. She gasps seeing Jesse so pale, and well...fucked up. People started yelling at them. But they were both too out of it to hear them. She turns off the video and dials her brother’s number. It would ring about five times then there was a recording telling her to leave a voicemail. She thought to call Desdemona, but then remembered she deleted her number after Amsterdam. Then she huffs, realizing that she has to call her mother. Celia doesn’t pick up right away when she does her voice is sore. Caroline doesn’t know what to say. “You’re calling about Jesse, aren’t you?” Celia finally said. “Yea,” Caroline whispers.“What’s going on?” “Jesse needs help,” Celia says. “He’s being taken care of.” “Taken care of?” Caroline smirks. “What are you? Part of the fucking mafia?” Celia is not amused. “Where is he?” “Don’t worry about it.” “Well, I’m gotta worry. Can I talk to him?” “No” “What do you mean no?” “If you want to see Jesse so badly, you’ll have to come here in person.” Caroline groans and hangs up. Krystal is now awake staring at her, “Something wrong, my love?” Caroline puts her hands on her forehead and takes a breath, “I have to go home.” *** Caroline gets the plane off at LAX. She takes her phone off airplane mode and calls Celia. As the phone rings, Caroline goes to the baggage claim. She sees a Top Bridal ad with Darla and Desdemona kissing in wedding dresses. She drops her phone. She goes to pick it up. The screen is cracked. However, as if she was processed, googles Where does Desdemona Potts live? *** Desdemona hasn’t left the house for two days. She needs a rest after all the excitement. She watched Jesse almost die. She almost died. It was actually the thought that she lived made her tear up. Because what now? Her dying would have so poetic. She would have become the biggest star in the world then stupidly do too many drugs and die famously. But she had survived this one. And now she can’t get out of the next album. Pride had become a worldwide hit. No way was she going to follow it up. She pulls out a pen and one of her notebooks. She traps her pen on the paper. Trying to put the right words together to start off with. Prince of expectation, you’ve fallen off your pedestal. Didn’t you? Prince, my friend, I’ve fallen off too. They set up you up so high, that you fell, down hard. Prince of misery, are you happy now, my dear? Falling off your pedestal again. She then hears a banging on the door. She slowly gets up. Caroline stands out and bangs on Desdemona’s door. “Really Caroline?” Desdemona mumbled to herself. Caroline screams, “Talk to me.” The door doesn't open. She looks around for a window. Desdemona stares at the door, “Please go away. Just please go away, Caroline.” “Desdemona.” Desdemona walks toward the door. “Talk to me.” Desdemona stops and sits back down, “No, I’m done the Caroline drama.” “Somebody talk to me or I’ll scream louder.” No response. “Where is my brother?” Caroline yells. “I know that you know.” Caroline screams. Paparazzi gather around. Caroline screams more. Cameras flashed behind. “Caroline, any comment on your brother’s rehabilitation?” They repeated over and over again. “Fuck,” Desdemona gets up and the door. Caroline sits on the doorstep crying, swallowed by paparazzi and their questions. “Caroline, does your brother’s drug problem remind you about your father’s OD?” “Back,” Desdemona yells stepping forward. She grabs Caroline’s arm, “Caroline get inside.” “Please tell me.” “I will. I’ll tell you everything, just get up.” “Desdemona, what are doing about your own problem?” “Ya’ll go fuck yourselves. She’s crying for fucks sake,” She wraps Caroline’s arm around her neck. “Ya’ll got 5 minutes to get off my fucking property before I call the police.” *** Desdemona hands Caroline a bottle of water as she sits on her couch. “What the fuck are you doing there?” There were so many answers, but Caroline had to pick one for now. “I know things are between us are...crazy. And what I just did out there was crazy. But I want to know what happened to my brother.” “What does your family say?” “Celia won’t tell anything.” “Maybe because you can’t handle it.” “I can handle it.” “What do you want to know?” “How long?” “About a year...” “That’s not true.” “God, Caroline how can I tell you the truth, if you don’t let me talk.” “I’m sorry.” “I know your family blames me. I know I introduced him to weed. And it’s not like chained up him and forced a bong in his mouth, but I know I should take some responsibility.” “Were you giving him drugs?” “No.” “Don’t lie to me.” “I’m not. I bought the weed most times. But the other shit...I don’t know where he got that stuff, I swear.” “Why didn’t you say anything?” “Because I promised him I’d never rat on him. He made me promise him not to tell anyone, especially you. He’s the big brother and he never wanted to disappoint you.” “Did he really say that?” “He said that a lot.” “What happened, that night?” Caroline goes over to her side of the couch. She moves super close. “Just tell me what you went though. And I’ll just listen.” She lays her chin on Desdemona’s shoulder. Desdemona looks into those beautiful, sweet blue eyes. And feels the warmth of her skin. There was just something about Caroline that makes her feel so open. She missed talking to Caroline. She sat back. “Things haven’t been that good between Jesse and I for a while, since…” “Since Amsterdam?” Desdemona nods then goes on, “He showed at the club, and I knew something was wrong, but he begged me to get high with him. I didn’t want to do it, but ...I didn’t want him to be mad at me. So I did it. Then...my was head hurting and Jesse kept getting on the bar and kicking off glasses. I tried pulling him down, but I ended up getting on the bar too. And I was falling, over and over again, And look up at him laughing then he would fall to. Then it’s like I closed my eyes and I was the on grass, with puke on me. I saw Jesse again. He looked so different on the ground. I closed my eyes again, now he’s now my living room, shaking, blood coming out of his nose.” Caroline puts her head onto Desdemona’s chest and closes her eyes. “I completely went into panic. And I'm on the phone with 911. And it’s like my mouth is too dry to say words, but I have to speak in order to save him. The entire world was on my shoulders. And I have to stop my heart from beating so fast, so I could speak. And Caroline...I prayed.” She wraps her arm around Caroline’s body. “You prayed?” “I haven’t prayed in years. But I begged God to bring him back.” Caroline could feel Desdemona’s heart beating and her bones shaking. She wraps her arms around her. It feels so good to be with Caroline again. They sat in silence for a minute. They looked up each other. Desdemona leans in and kiss her lips. Caroline kisses back putting an arm around Desdemona’s neck. They make out Desdemona’s couch, until Desdemona pulls away for air. Her eyes are red, like she is about to cry. Caroline puts her nose on Desdemona’s cheek. Caroline starts to cry and then Desdemona follows. Desdemona pushes Caroline off of her and tries to stop her tears. After they calm down, Desdemona stands up and speaks. “We can’t do this... not behind his back, and not to Darla.” “To Darla?” Caroline takes a deep breath, “I thought you two were doing the open marriage thing,” “Yea, but..you are against the rules.” “So? You never want to see again?” “No, no. I...I don’t know what I want.” Caroline gathers herself. “Well, let me know when you figure it out.” Caroline walks out. *** Desdemona laid on the couch mindlessly watching TV. She hasn't moved since Caroline left. She hears her front door slam open. Darla walks in, with a bundle a sage. She pulls out a lighter and sets the sage on fire. She waves the sage around the room. “What are you doing?” Desdemona asks. “Cleansing our house of Princess Caroline.” Desdemona is shock to see Darla doing something so petty. But ever since Amsterdam, Darla been acting crazy jealous. “How do you…” “Oh,” Darla cuts her off. “Our house was on Entertainment Tonight. I watched you.” “What was I supposed to do? She was crying in our front yard. She was upset about Jesse. You wouldn't understand.” “What do you mean, I wouldn't understand,” Darla huffs. “Jesse is my friend too.” “Oh yea, you two, were real friendly.” Desdemona bites. Then she realizes what she just said. Whoa where did that come from? Darla’s mouth hangs open,“I thought we were over that.” Desdemona swallows, ”So did I.” Desdemona flops back down on the couch. Darla huffs, “I don’t want that girl in my house.” “I thought it was our house.” *** Caroline steps out of the hotel shower. After an eight hour flight across the ocean, then three hour public breakdown, she needed a good shower. She pulls her hair into the soft white towel and lays on the soft luxurious, Egyptian cotton sheets. The studio apartment was nice but boy did she miss this. She hears a knock at her door. She opens it, thinking it was room service, but instead it was Celia. “How did you find me?” “I looked at the charges on that credit card I pay for.” Celia says before walking in, “So when were planning on coming over to see me?” “When were you planning on letting me see my brother?” “Jesse is still in detox. The doctors said we should avoid any visitors, that might be disturbed the progress.” “Disturbed the progress?” “Well come on Caroline, how long is going to take for you to get ready? So I can tell the bell boy.” “Who says I want to go home with you?” “Don’t be ridiculous Caroline, no need to waste money on hotels, when I have a house full of empty rooms.” “I’m an adult now. You can’t control me anymore.” “If you would actually act like an adult, I’ll treat you like one.” Celia sits on the bed, “Please Caroline...I need to have you close to me. I need to know where both my children are.” Caroline saw a rare vulnerability in her mother’s eyes. “I need my family to be close to me.” “You’re not going to tell me what to do.” “How about this. I won’t. As long you text me when you are every night. And when you are in my house I don’t want to see it. Hear it. Or Smell it.” Caroline stares at her mother’s face. She got her father’s eyes, but her mother’s face. “Give me 10 minutes.” Celia gets up and kisses her on the cheek.
  3. Jesse wakes up to realize he passed out in chemistry class. He used to love science. And he never used to sleep in class. He has no idea what the professor is saying or what the numbers on the board mean. He is relieved when he sees all the other students leaving. He runs into the nearest bathroom and finds an empty stall. He takes out a pill bottle labeled, Adderall. He pops two into his mouth and dry swallows them. He takes a deep and walks out to the sinks. He splashes water on his face. *** Desdemona and Darla stand in their places on the set of the photo shoot. Both wearing white wedding dresses. The Top Bride shoot that Desdemona had been dreading. How did she do from sex, drugs, and rock and roll to a bridal magazine. But on the other hand, they were paying them A LOT of money and she was taught never to leave money on the table. Though she we had to admit Darla looks absolutely beautiful in her long bedazzled white dress. “I’m really sorry.” Darla whispers to her. “It’s cool,” Desdemona whispers back. “Can we please never mention it ever again?” Darla turns to her. “Because it was just a big mistake.” Desdemona grabs her hand, she nods. Darla goes for a kiss on the lips but Desdemona flinches. “I forgive you. I do. But not now.” The photographer starts barking Instructions. Desdemona and Darla move their bodies into various poses. Darla was definitely a professional. *** Things between Desdemona and Jesse are still awkward. They really should talk about what happened with Darla. Maybe they should also talk about what happened with Caroline. But that would be too hard. As much as she wants to avoid him, she also can’t say no when he asks to meet her at a club. So she sits at a bar with a beer waiting for him. Ever since seeing Jesse and Darla in bed together. She had not been able to get the image of them fucking out of her head. And that now felt it...gross to fuck Darla. It’s ridiculous thinking. Desdemona knows logically this shouldn’t effect her so much. But she couldn’t help feeling angry about this. But when Jesse walks in, looking half dead, all her anger turns into worried. He was pale and his hair was an absolute mess. He looked like he just woke up and hadn’t slept in days at the same time. He orders vodka and she worries more. “Hey dude, you okay?” “Yea.” she sniffs, “Just tried. School and all.” “Yea. How’s it going?” She asks really not sure what to say. She sips her beer. *** They are both pretty drunk, but it feels like old times. They can just hang out without the awkwardness that had been hovering around them since Amsterdam. Jesse takes her into the men’s restroom and cuts her a line. “It’s a bit brown. Are you sure this good?” “Oh it’s good, trust me.” There was definitely a voice in her head telling her not to do this. But Jesse was looking at her with his hurt puppy dog eyes. She sorts the off white line. She immediately gets a headache as her sinus become blocked. She sniffs her nose and blinks rapidly. The edges of vision become blurry and things were super bright. She blinks rapidly before noticing the lights were spinning. Seeing Jesse getting up the bar for some reason. She tries to get him down, but she can’t seem to move her arm. Suddenly she was being pulled. She could barely recognize Natalie, pulling her. She was the one spinning. “What the fuck are you two on?” Desdemona begins stroking Natalie's hair, “I..I don’t...know.” Jesse hollers and screams spinning on a table. His face was turning pale. Natalie drags her through the doorway and lays her on some wet grass. “Stay right here okay?” Desdemona nods, yet still didn’t understand what was going on. Natalie walks away. Desdemona’s body shaking and her stomach tied in knots. Her vision blurred even more and felt a horrible pain in her chest. Her body rolled over and she vomited on the grass as cameras flashed in her face. Jesse dropped beside her. A car pulled up, passing the paparazzi. She was thrown into the backseat. Jesse is thrown in the seat next to her. “Fuck, this is horrible publicity,” Natalie tells them. “Wh...at is happening?” Desdemona whispered. “You guys destroyed the place.” Desdemona finds her phone. How did to become 1 am? She thought it thought it had only 5 minutes since she sorted that line. Jesse laughs his head off. *** It took Desdemona 10 minutes to recognize her own living room. She sat down on her couch. “Dude I don’t feel so good.” “I’m going to get you guys some water.” The second she was off sight, Jesse pulls out the bag with the white powder and starts cutting lines. “What are you doing?” “We’re crashing” he sorts a line, “You gotta do more, to make the pain stop.” “Jess, I don’t think you should.” He sorts another line. “Dude stop.” Desdemona reaches her arm to him and falls into the floor. She grabs her coffee table accidentally knocking over the powder. Jesse yells going down the floor sorting whatever was in the carpet. “Jesse,” She calls out. “You don’t understand.” he cries, “It makes the pain stop.” Desdemona then notices blood dripping from Jesse’s nose. She reaches out to him, “Jesse” Jesse wasn’t speaking. His eyes still as his body jerked up and down. She patted her pockets to find her phone. Barely being able to dial the phone. “911. What is your emergency?” “My friend is bleeding like crazy, and like his body to doing this weird thing.” “Ma'am, breathe, where are you?” “My house.” she says, “My head is really hurting.” “I am finding your location. Is your friend speaking?” “No.” Her eyes filling with tears as she breathes heavily. “Ma’am, stay on the line. Now did your friend take any drugs?” “We did molly...and drank some.” “Ok Ma'am. The ambiance is on the way.” She hyperventilates and lays down her on the floor, “I can’t breathe.” “Ma’am, stay on the phone.” She stares at the ceiling. Natalie stands above her and takes the phone. Natalie needs a raise, she thinks as the ceiling becomes blurry. Everything went mute except for the sound of her heart beating. She turns her head to see the paramedics lifting up, an unconscious Jesse. She feels unable to move or breathe. One of the paramedics, turns to her, placing her oxygen mask on her face. *** The next morning Desdemona wakes up in a hospital bed. “Hello? Someone please?” The doctor runs in, “Ms. Brown, you’re awake.” “Is Jesse...dead?” He comes closer. “Mr. Abrams is stable.” “Can I see him?” “He’s not awake yet.” “Is she awake?” Celia says from the doorway. “Ms. Abrams please stay in the waiting room.” Celia marches into the room, “How dare you.” “Oh hi,” Is all Desdemona manages to say. “Meth. You gave my son meth.” “What the fuck are you talking about? I have never done meth.” “Well as I was about to tell you,” The doctor speaks up. “We found methamphetamine in both of your systems.” “What? All we did was molly.” “Was it an off white powder maybe a little brownish?” “Yea?” “Sometimes the two can look similar. Sometimes molly can be laced. So you were unaware of the methanpine?” “Of course I didn’t know. I’d never do meth.” she says. God how stupid of her. “You’re lying,” Celia demands. “I’m not.” “Then where did it come from?” Desdemona closes her mouth and crosses her arms. “Jesse almost died, so you better know something.” “Jesse almost died?” “Yes, Mr. Abrams, suffered a heart attack from the reaction.” “Oh my god,” She whispers putting her hands to her face. “There was a lot more in his system, than in yours.” “Well yea because..” She stopped herself. “I am not a snitch.” Celia sits on a chair next to her bed. “Honestly, did you know?” They looked straight into each other’s eyes. “I didn’t know.” “Tell me who bought it.” “Come on, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway.” “Well, I’ll listen. Because I want what’s best for Jesse,” Celia shifts. “Don’t you?” Desdemona sits quiet for a moment then turns to the doctor. “Can we be alone for a minute?” He nods and steps out. Desdemona turns to Celia, “I’m telling you this because he really needs help.” “Help? With what?” “He been...really...abusing drugs. And doing the hard stuff.” “Where the meth come from?” “He brought to club. He said it was molly.” Celia opens her mouth. “I know. Who's going to be believe the drug dealing juvenile delinquent? But there been...things...incidents.” “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” “Because he told me it was nothing, but after last night...I can’t watch him die.” “Does anybody else know?” “Only my friends. But don’t worry they would never sell him out.” Celia looks down takes a breath then looks back up at her, “You think he needs rehab?” “Yea I do. Even if it means we can’t friends anymore.” “Will you tell the press?” “No of course. It’s not good press for me either.” Then Darla runs in, wrapping her arms around her wife and kisses all over her face. “Excuse me,” Celia says. “We were talking.” Darla turns to her and snaps, “The love of my life, could have died. So shut the fuck up.” Celia huffs and stands up, “I have better things to do anyway.” Celia gives them both a serious look before walking out of the room. Then once Celia was gone, she processes what Darla had said. “I’m the love of your life?” She says. Darla sits down on the bed and strokes Desdemona’s arm, “Yea, you are.” *** Jesse sits up in his hospital bed. God, he is stupid. How could he have not known there was meth in his molly. And worst he had tricked one of his best friends. He’s gone too far. The door opens and there is his mother in the doorway. He images that she is mad and is about to yell at him. But instead she sits down and lovely grabs her son’s hand. Up close he can see that she is crying. It makes him sick to see her cry. “Mom. Mom I’m sorry.” “Who brought the drugs? And please tell me the truth.” Celia says. “I did,” he admits quietly. “I brought the drugs.” She sinks into her chair. “I was hoping, she was lying.” She? “Des?” Jesse yells. “Is she okay?” “Yes. Your friend is okay,” Celia brought, “How long have you been on this stuff?” “What?” He asks, even though he does know what she is referring to. “How long have you been doing drugs behind my back?” “Just this past year.” “Oh god, when you start hanging out with that girl.” “This is not Desdemona fault...she actually saved my life.” He wipes the tears forming under his eyes. Celia puts down her head and brushes her hair back. “I don’t know what to do. I expect this from Caroline but not you.” Jesse groans. “Of course,” Jesse says.”The perfect child can’t do wrong.” She looks up at her son, shocked. “Is that what you think?” She whispers confused. Jesse stays silent.
  4. The boys approach the west Hollywood basketball court. Riley and Justin take off their shirts. Jesse couldn’t help staring at their six packs. “Hey,” Riley snaps him out of the trance, holding his hands up. Jesse throws him the ball. Both Riley and Justin move fast and swift. If Jesse wasn’t intimidated enough by his abs, there was the fact that Riley play every sport in high school for four years. Riley plays rather aggressively shooting two 3-pointers in a row. The ball switches to Justin, another more experienced athlete than Jesse. However, in a movement of pity, Justin throws the ball to him. Jesse dribbles. Riley blocks him from the front. He tries to back up but is blocked by Justin causing their bodies to brush up against each other. He is sandwiched between two sweaty shirtless gay men. He tries not to show discomfort, because he doesn't want to offend them. He shifts the ball between his hands, trying to find an opening. He doesn't mind between brushed up against Justin...that much. He is the better smelling of the two. He sees his window on the side and dashes past Riley to shoot his shot. He jumps as Justin tries to pull him down. Jesse makes the basket and bumps into Justin on the way down. They stare at each other for an awkward moment, until they hear a loud click. The three of them turn to see a man in the brushes with a camera. Jesse rolls his eyes and grabs the ball again. Riley remains looking confused until signaled to refocus on the game. *** “So they really hide in the bushes?” Riley asks Jesse as they sit on the patio for lunch. “Yep,”Jesse asks flipping through the menu, “Bushes, trees, flower beds, anything to get a picture.” “But we weren’t doing that interesting?’ “Doesn't matter,” Jesse says, “They once took a picture of my Dad blowing his nose. They posted a story saying that he was dying of pneumonia.” Desdemona and Darla join them the table hand in hand. “Hey Des,” Riley turns to her. “Do paparazzi hide in the bushes just to you take pictures of you?” “No, I haven’t unlocked that level yet,” She says picking up the menu. “They just yell at me.” She holds out the menu for Darla to see. “How about we get the club?” Darla says. “We’ve been eating too many burgers lately.” “Ok. But can we get the fries?” Desdemona asks her wife. “Sure,” Darla nods. Jesse looks at them and smiles. He thinks it’s sweet when Darla and Desdemona share an entree. Then he looks over at Riley and Justin who just based on facial expressions alone, know what the other will order. He looks back to his menu. He is the lonely fifth wheel, between two cute couples. Then a weird thought comes into his head. The two cute couples are both gay. Does that mean something? He searches his memory to see if he’s ever met a good heterosexual couple. But he realizes all the ones he knows are bitterly divorced. Especially his own parents. He stares at Riley and Justin with admiration and jealousy. But maybe for deeper reasons. “Hey Jesse.” Riley says, seeing Jesse stare that them, “You okay?” “Did you always know you were gay?” Jesse straight up asks, “Could someone...become gay...later in life?” Desdemona, Darla, and Riley stare at each other confused. Justin on the other hand, leans toward him and holds out his hand. “You want to tell us something?” Jesse opens his mouth, but doesn't know how to continue this conversation. “You’re not gay Jess.” Desdemona says. “How would you know?” He bites turning to her. “How do you know, what I am?” “Because...” Desdemona says he holds out her hands to the group. “Because,” Riley follows. Jesse slams downs his menu. “Oh, you know everything about me huh?” “Jesse.” “So everybody thinks they Jesse Abrams, better than I do huh? Well, the fuck am I suppose to be?” “Jess,” Desdemona whispers, leaning toward him, “What is this really about?” Jesse storms off. Desdemona quickly follows. Jesse walks outside the restaurant and hears the familiar clicking. He covers to his face. “Jesse.” Desdemona calls out. She hears the clicking and turns to see the camera. She walks up Jesse and whispers , “Come back to the table.” Feeling trapped. He takes a breath and walks back with her. Desdemona and Jesse sit back down at the table. There is an uncomfortable silence until Riley raises his hand. “So we’re thinking about going to Rainbow Tango on Saturday. It’s the hottest gay club in LA.” Riley says. “Jesse would like to go with us?” Jesse turns to Desdemona, “Is that okay with you?” Desdemona looks down at the menu again. Even though she already knows what she is ordering. “I’ll be doing an appearance in Chicago this weekend, won’t be back until Sunday morning. But you can go with you want.” He rolls his eyes. “Ok, sounds good.” Jesse agrees. *** That Saturday, Justin’s truck parks next to the club. Jesse wears a blonde wig and sunglasses. Everyone else in the car understands why he needs to be disguise, but are still a little embarrassed. Darla straightens his wig and gives him a scarf. Riley pulls out a little baggie with white powder and divides it into four lines on a flat surface. They each take their bump and get out of the car. *** Riley walks through the strobe lights with three shot glasses. He walks his friends wearing glow sticks on the dance floor. Darla’s hair is up. Jesse's shirt is unbuttoned, his arm around her waist. Darla and Jesse each take a glass and drink. Jesse stumbles. “Dude, you okay?” Riley screams though the pop music. “Yea. I got to take a leak. Where is the bathroom?” Riley points and tries to explain the directions, but Jesse can’t hear him. Justin taps him on his shoulder, “I’ll show you.” Justin nicely grabs Jesse’s arm and drags him off the dance floor into a less crowded hallway. There is a line along the wall. Jesse pins Justin to the wall and presses his head on Justin's chest. “Dude, you are wasted,” Justin says putting his head up to avoid Jesse's stinky alcohol breath. “You guys are so cool. I had never met gay guys as cool as you two.” “Yea. dude.” “You guys like LOVE each other and still love football, basketball and guy stuff.” “Yea, dude. We are still guys.” “Yea you are,” Jesse puts his nose up against Justin’s ripped chest. “You are guy.” Jesse picks up his head and looks straight at him. Jesse leans forward places his lips on Justin’s. Justin’s eyes widen. Jesse moves his lips but there no response. Jesse pulls away. Tears coming down from his eyes, “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, you’re drunk,” Justin says patting him on the back. *** Desdemona walks into the house, seemly empty and quiet. She heads up the stairs. She moves toward her bedroom. Though her bedroom door, sees Jesse's bare chest. Darla’s exposed naked body next to him. She frowns not sure how to feel. She shifts between them dropping her suitcase. Then it was as if her diaphragm had filled up with air then started rushing up. She laughs. Riley and Justin come in and gasp. “Hey guys,” Desdemona says, still uncontrollably laughing. Darla opens her eyes. “What are you laughing at?” Darla turns to see Jesse next to her. Darla screams pulling the covers over her and exposing Jesse’s whole body. Desdemona quickly turns away and bites her lip. Jesse wakes and gasps. Darla and Jesse stare at each other. “Oh my god.” “We did.” “Did we?” “I don’t know” “Maybe.” “Oh my god.” Jesse notices Desdemona standing with her back to him. He walks up to her. She puts her hands up. “Dude, please put some pants on.” He looks around and picks up his clothes. “Wow,” Riley says. “We saw y’all dry humping each other on the dance floor last night but we didn’t think...you know.” “Oh my god, I can’t believe...it.” Justin follows. “I’m sorry Des!” Jesse pleas with his pants now on. “Well Darla and aren’t mono, so I can’t really be mad,” She says. “Plus it’s kind of funny.” Desdemona walks off and down the stairs. Jesse follows as Darla gets dressed. “You think this is funny?” He asks as they enter into kitchen. Desdemona turns on the coffee maker. “Kinda, Ya’ll went there to find a gay person for you to hook with, well mission accomplished.” “Desi I’m so sorry. I feel so bad.” “I’m fine, just getting coffee.” “You can’t be fine with this.” “Will it happen again?” “No.” “Then why should I get upset.” “I swear I owe you. You can fuck any one in the world and I’ll won’t say anything.” She stares down, watching the coffee brew. Did he really know what he was saying? Was he meaning Caroline? Or what this just her sick way of giving herself permission to think about Caroline? Either way. She hands him the cup of coffee. *** That night, Desdemona lays in the red and gold bed scrolling through her phone. She’s looking for any news about Caroline. Googling Caroline would have wrong. But if she had happened to be scrolling through and stumbled upon a headline about Caroline, then that would be okay. Darla crawls in bed beside her and slips her hand beneath Desdemona’s shirt. Desdemona shifts. “I’m not in the mood.” Desdemona says. “What? You’re not the mood?” “I’m not in the mood.” Darla rolls away. “Is this about Jesse?” Desdemona huffs. “I don’t even remember it. We blacked out. Please don’t get all mad at Jesse.” Desdemona turns to her. “I’m not mad at Jesse,” She says. “I’m mad at you.” Darla’s mouth opens. Desdemona goes on. “You should have known better than to mix drugs, to get to that black out point. I thought I could trust you to handle him and handle yourself.” “So I’m suppose to watch my own drinking because Jesse is a lightweight.” “Yes, maybe it would nice you cared for someone besides yourself.” Darla gasps. “What is that supposed to mean?” Desdemona gets up from the bed. “Nothing. Just watch the sheets.” She grabs a light hoodie and a pre-rolled blunt. “I need some air.” *** After fighting with Darla about Jesse. Desdemona wanders around the neighborhood with a blunt in her mouth. She sees a bar around decides to go in. She spots a brunette, wearing heavy black makeup who is definitely a little on the goth side. She kind of reminded her of Caroline. But only a little. Desdemona quietly approaches the kind of Caroline look alike. Not Caroline turns to her. Desdemona just stares into her eyes and asks, “Do you like pie?" *** Desdemona’s back presses up the window of the back seat in this stranger’s car. The girl takes off her pants and begins kissing her thighs, It feels good. But she can’t seem to fully get into it. Is this a bad idea? Is this considered cheating? Were the rules of their relationship still the same? But even if this was cheating , that would mean Darla cheated? So it’s even, right? She had to force her brain to stop thinking so she could orgasm.
  5. In 1935, Roosevelt created the Federal Art Project (FAP) as the agency that would administer artist employment projects, federal art commissions, and community art centers. Roosevelt saw the arts and access to them as fundamental to American life and democracy. The art produced through government programs pictured the hardships of the period. Breadlines, homelessness, and poverty were often common subjects. One of these works produced was Family Flats by Millard Street. Family flats artistically showed the overcrowded and in poor condition, of the ghettos. These tenements are often the only option for working-class families. It was finally time for me to pay for my sins. It had been weeks since I pulled the fire alarm. But because of my mother’s busy schedule, she had convinced Principal Hill not to expel me yet. But now my mom was in the Principal’s office talking with Principal Hill and Mr. Big Bird. They yelled at each other for a while but then things seem to calm down. The principal comes to the door and waves me in. I sat down between mom and Mr.Big Bird. Principal Hill sits across from us, under his desk. “Ms. Rivera, after talking to your mother and your teacher....I’ve decided not to expel you. But to make a compromise.” “Okay?” “You will work off your punishment, assisting in the cafeteria.” “What? That’s stupid.” My mom shushes me. “Georgia! You are lucky you are not getting kicked out. You will do what he says and you will listen to Ms. Jones.” “Ms. Jones?” “Yes,” Principal Hill says. “Ms. Jones will supervise you. You will report to her right every day, after school.” “Every day?” “And you will assist her for an hour and a half. And she will tell me if you’re not there.” I roll my eyes then say, “Fine.” *** “They want you to work?” Big Eyes asks me. “Yep. Every day, after school, for an hour and half.” “In a row?” She exclaimed. “In a row.” I nodded We walked into Mr. Big Bird's history class. The words “The Forgotten “ written on the chalkboard. “What does the lunch lady even do all day?” Big Eyes says sitting her seat. “Doesn’t the food just appear?” I shrugged my shoulders and sat in the seat next to her, “I guess I’ll find out.” Mr. Big Bird stands in front of the class, “Today we are going to learn about The Great Depression and the forgotten man.” *** I reported to the kitchen after school where I officially met Ms. Jones. A 6 feet tall black woman, I had seen every day at school. But I had never put a name to the face. “I’m...” “George Rivera.” She said cutting me off. “I know.” “Then, you know why I’m here.” “Yes, I do. Here.” She said as she handing me a pair of gloves, an apron, and...a hairnet. “Oh, I’m not wearing that.” She raises her eyebrows. “Yes, you will. I’m not losing my job just because someone finds a little red hair in their peas.” Okay, she kind of scars me. I put the hairnet on. “Today, you are going to help me prepare the mashed potatoes for lunch tomorrow.” She places a huge bag of potatoes on the sliver table. “Peel the potatoes put them in the pot.” “Have you ever tried using boxed mashed potatoes?” I smirked. She raised her eyebrows again. I threw up my hands. “Peel the potatoes put them in the pot. Got it.” She hands me the peeler and walks to the other side of the kitchen. *** The rest of the time was pretty quiet. I stood on one side, peeling potatoes with my earbuds in listening to my playlist. And Ms. Jones stood on the other side, listening to old disco music from her CD player. I know, who owns a CD player anymore? I walked out of the building, free at last. But I was pleasantly surprised to see Big Eyes on the steps. She turns to me and smiles. She’s so cute. “What are you doing?” “Waiting for you of course.” She says so matter-of-factly. “You didn’t have to wait for me.” “It’s no problem,” She says standing up. “How did it go?” “I peeled potatoes for an hour.” “In a row?” I had to laugh. “Yes, in a row.” She waited for me. That had to mean something, right? *** Walking down my street. I swear I saw Ms. Jones was walking on the other side of the road. But I couldn’t get a real good look. I walked into my apartment and my mom popped her head out of her room. “Hija.” “Hey mom,” I said really confused why she was home. I walked into her room to see her changing out of her blue uniform with her pink uniform laying on the bed. “How was the cafeteria duty?” “I peeled potatoes for an hour.” “Sounds exhausting.” “Yea...it’s hard. I don’t know how you to it for 40 hours.” Mom chuckles. I stared down at the floor. “I just want to let you know that...I appreciate you, for you know doing that.” I looked up at my confused mother. She seemed to be just as uncomfortable receiving the compliment as I was saying it. She reaches out for arms and steps forward. But for some weird reason stepped back. “I should get started on my homework,” I said before leaving the room. “Ok,” she awkwardly waved. “I’ll bring you back a patty melt.”
  6. “Welcome to the dog and pony show,” Desdemona sings into recording microphone. “I ain’t here to judge you. I’m here to entertain you. Sing, sing trailer rat. We are all looking at you. Sing your heart out, make that dollar so you can eat. Maybe they’ll tip you if you cry. Dance, dance trailer rat, they’re shooting bullets at your shoes, Dance until your feet bleed.” Jeff quietly enters the studio...with pink boxes. Doughnuts? He would never bring her doughnuts. “Drink, drink trailer rat, drink the bottle down. Just like mommy and daddy showed you. Whiskey will keep you warm and get you down to sleep. So dream, dream trailer rat, pretend you’re a city mouse. Comb your hair. Change your name. Try to be someone else. But the cat will get you soon. A trailer rat you’ll always be.” The band plays out and she gets the thumbs up from Dave. Jeff opens the pink box. It’s doughnuts. She takes her headphones off and exits the booth. She looks at Jeff, arms crossed as the rest of the crew gets their doughnuts first. Something is up. Their eyes meet. “What’s with the doughnuts, Jeff?” “I can’t be nice?” he questions. “You’re the one who put me on this stupid lemon, cucumber juice cleanse.” “And you lost 10 pounds!” he cheers, “So you deserve a doughnut. Maybe even two.” God, she hadn’t a doughnut in forever. Boy did she miss carbs. But she acts disinterested. “And?” Jeff clears his throat, “So I was talking to Smith.” “Fucking Smith.” “She and the label thinks…” “The fucking label.” “The label thinks for the next album...they want a love song.” “A fucking love song?” “Yes, with the show and the new marriage, a love song would spark great publicity for the whole album.” “What am I suppose to write a love song about?” And the minute she said it, she realizes how bad that sounded. “Darla, they want me to write about Darla.” She says answering her own question. Jeff crosses his arms, “I mean it shouldn’t too hard, right? You love writing, you love music, and you love Darla, right?” “Yea,” she nods before stuffing a doughnut in her mouth. *** Desdemona zips up her backpack as she prepares to leave the set. She is waved over by one the producers, Rachel. “We had a talk in the writers room. We love your episode.” “Really?” They walk together, passing by the set stages. “Reaching it into Alex‘s conservative upbringing, having the gang go outside their West Hollywood bubble to visit a southern Baptist church. Its actually a great idea and we love exploring your character. Where did you get this idea from?” Desdemona shrugs her shoulders, not wanting to get into it. “So I assume that you are interested in expanding your writing resume.” “Yea. I love music. I’ll be writing music until the day I die. But I would like to take shot at writing stories." “Well you have the talent. We’re putting it on the schedule.” “Really?” Rachel nods. *** Desdemona enters her and Darla’s mansion. There are dirty dishes in the sink. And stuff is everywhere. “Hey Dar,” She calls out. She searches the huge house until she sees two bodies in her backyard. Darla lays by the pool in red bikini and red sunglasses while the pool girl cleans the pool. “Honey I’m home,” Desdemona smirks. Darla motions for Desdemona sits next to her. Desdemona sits down and Darla grabs Desdemona's face and kisses her. The pool girl looks over and smiles. Darla looks over and smiles back. “How was work?” “Good. They loved my script. They are going to make it.” “That’s great,” Darla says. “Oh my god, imagine the billing you’ll get.” “Well that’s not why I did it,” Desdemona says. “But yea.“ “And what if you win an Emmy?” “Come on I don’t know about that.” “We have to celebrate,” Darla pulls out her phone, “Let’s go out tonight. Riley and Justin, and Jesse.” ”Jesse is a no... he’s busy with school stuff.” Darla rises her eyebrows,”What is with you two? Like I know it’s awkward and all after Amsterdam...” ”It’s not awkward,” Desdemona says in denial. “He’s busy that’s all.” “Okay,” Darla gives in grabbing her wife’s hand. “Oh babe, we need to hire a maid.” Desdemona huffs, “Having a maid, sounds so rich assholeish.” ”You’re giving somebody a job. How is that being an asshole?” Darla defenses and puckers her lips. “Please.” Darla says before starting to kiss her neck and ear. “Okay” Desdemona agrees before kissing Darla. *** Desdemona stares at the blinking censer. Writing used to be so easy when it wasn’t homework. She closes the lap and pulls out paper and pen. Old school. Raw. Pen and paper. That would help. Darla. Darla. Darla. Darla is amazing. There’s gotta be something to write about. Darla is beautiful. Smart. Loyal. Kind. Then a random thought pops in her head. Did Aaron Abrams ever write love songs about Celia? This suddenly became an important question. She goes back to the laptop and googles Aaron Abram’s songs. But the song that pops out, is called Caroline. How stupid. Did she really think she could google Caroline’s father without thinking about Caroline? When she thinks of Caroline. Music plays in her head. She just couldn’t think of anything words. As if she was suddenly possessed, she pulls out her phone and goes to her saved voicemails and those months ago. In the first voicemail, Caroline is laughing, “I just heard the funniest thing. That you got married. Wow isn’t that the weird.” The next message plays. “Fuck you.” Caroline yells through the phone, “Fuck you and fuck her. How dare you get married. Married.” She shouts. Desdemona feels sick to her stomach. As if she was going to throw up but everything refuses to come up. She feels guilty for hurting her. Now she feels guilty from even thinking about her. The sinking feeling comes over her. It gets worse as the next message plays. This time Caroline is crying. “I love you. I love you so much. My heart is exploding.” She wheezes. “Why don’t you love me. I just wanted you to love me.” Oh my god, does Desdemona feels like the scum of the earth. The next message plays. “You know what, fine. Get married. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care” Caroline repeats over and over before screaming out one last time. The next message plays. “Ok, I get it. I’ll never call you again.” The last message ends and the robotic voice asks her to press 1 to save or press 7 to delete. Her finger hovers over 7. Listening to Caroline over and over again definitely wasn’t healthy and if Darla found out...that would become a nightmare. But she presses 1.
  7. Georgia O' Keeffee, American artist most known for her flower paintings once said, "I feel there is something unexplored about women that only a woman can explore." So dear lame journal, I was staring at myself in the mirror this morning. I now have armpit hair. Great. I'm never going to wear sleeveless shirts again. From now on its only long sleeves. That goes for the legs too. Another thing I was noticing...my chest. I know that sounds really weird. But lately, they've been like...coming out. I've kind of been thinking about that bra. It's still in the cardboard box next to my bed. I've been thinking that it might kind of cool to try it on. But I don't know. *** Big Eyes was extremely happy. Like annoying happy. "Today is a wonderful day." she cheered. She was always a positive person but something was up. "Okay, why are you so happy? Come on, seriously what's up with you?" She started blushing. Then she opened her hands and began to raise them. She has to be so dramatic. "I, am now a woman." I chuckled, "What are you talking about?" She blushed again and took both my hands. Whoa, they were warm. "I got my period this morning." she perked, "My very first period. Womanhood knocked on my door and I said 'come on in'." Of course, she would be the one to get all excited about that. In case you're curious, I got mine like a year or so ago. Not much of a story. Woke up. Toilet full of blood. Now that'll the beginning of every month for like the rest of my life. But of course, to Big Eyes was a glorious event. "I'm thieving. I'm like a flower going like this" She said doing some kind of hand motion. She's so weird...yet so adorable. Then we headed to Mr. Big Bird classroom. But I saw something. Something pretty bad. Baseball talking, no just talking but like flirting, with this other girl in class, let's call her...Lipstick. Okay I know it's not like Big Eyes had any claim over him, but ...still. I quickly covered her eyes. Then she walked in and saw it. Then stepped right back out and slid down the locker. I, of course, slid down beside to consult my little flower. She turned to me with those cute brown eyes, "I wish we were the only girls in the world." I nodded, "Me too." *** Mr. Big Bird was talking about some war. Something about a snack wrap. Big Eyes was too distracted by Baseball and Lipstick to take notes for us. Mr. Big Bird looked over at me. I could tell by his face, he was wondering about her as she usually paid more attention. I motioned to Baseball and Lipstick. He seemed to ache for her. *** I found her at her locker mopping. Then to make things worse, Lipstick walks up. "Hey, so what's your deal with the new boy?" God, she's so mean. Pretty. But mean. Big Eyes took a deep breath, "Nothing. Why?" She chuckled, "I think he's into me. I think he's ready for a real woman. Not just a little girl." Big Eyes slams the locker, "Wait, wait, wait. I, am no girl." She perked, "I got my period. So Booyea" Lipstick laughed, "That doesn't make you a woman." "Yes it dose." "No it doesn't." "Yes it dose." "No, it doesn't." They went on like this for a while. I finally interrupted. "Then what does make you a woman?" She rolled her eyes, "Come on GIRLS, its boys. You're not a woman until your first kiss with a boy." "Really?" We both went. Then I smirked, "Like you've really kissed a guy." "I've kissed two." "Are you gotta kiss...him?" Big Eyes asked looking like a sick little puppy dog. "Oh I'll do way more with him." Lipstick flipped her hair and walked away. *** "Do you think he will sit us or her?" Big Eyes said as we sit down at lunch. She's obsessed. I shrugged. "I don't know." Baseball started to walk up to us...until Lipstick dragged him off. "So what kind movies do like. We should totally go together," she said deicing to pull on her skirt up for some reason. Then Big Eyes being actually unlike Big Eyes, got up and actually talked to Baseball. "Hey." "Hey." he smiled. "I don't think you should go to movies with her." He raised an eyebrow and smiled more, "Why not?" I think he really wanted her to say because she liked him. Of course, she didn't "directly" say that. "Because I...would like to go to the movies...you with." Then Lipstick's eyes grew as big as golf balls. "Hey" she snapped, "I asked him first." Baseball nodded, "Yes, you did." He turned back to Big Eyes, "But I would like to...go to movies with you." Lipstick got up and like stormed out of the cafeteria. Now I kind of can't help but like Baseball a little more. *** So I was on the phone with Big Eyes, when I got home tonight. We were still trying to sort out this whole "becoming a woman" thing. "So do you think she is right?" Big Eyes went, "About you know, kissing boys." "I don't know," I said caring in another box of clothes. She started ranting, going back and forth on the subject. Then I heard Mr. Harris laughing in the background. "What's up with your dad?" She huffed then said, "He's on the phone with 'The Amazing Spider-man'." Spider-man is apparently Mr. Harris's best friend, but I don't think he's real. One, I can't picture Mr. Harris having an actual life. He's just Big Eyes's dad. Like he has friends. Two, I don't believe someone as boring and weird as Mr. Harris was best friends with someone like 'The Amazing Spider-man' who was poplar and rebellious. I swear all of his stories sound like they're from some old TV show. I was now walking past my mom's room. She was changing form her pink uniform to her blue uniform. She spotted me, "Oh hey Georgia." I gave a quick nod and went into my room. She followed me for some reason. "So how was school?" she asked. "I'm on the phone," I smirked. "Oh hi," she yelled. "Hi, Ms. Rivera." Big Eyes yelled back. "She says hi," I told mom. "Hey George, my mom is calling me for dinner." Big Eyes said, "Okay?" I nodded. "Okay bye" "Bye" I put the box down and hung up the phone. Mom was looking out the window. "Wow, that woman across from us is really working on something." I went to the window to check the mystery drawing. She had added flowers. "Aren't you supposed to be at work mom?" She checked her phone, "Yea, I need to leave in a few minutes." I nodded. "Oh Georgia I almost forgot." she said running back into her room, "I wasn't sure if need any more of them," she called from the other room, "but I got a good deal so I just bought a lot." She walked in back and handed me a...package of maxi pads. It got me thinking about Big Eyes getting her period. I looked up at my mom, "Hey can I ask you a question?" She sat down on my bed, "Okay?" I awkwardly sat down next to her, "How did you...well when did you...become a woman?" The first thing she said was, "In the back in Frank Garcia's truck." I guess one point goes to Lipstick. Then she realized she was talking to teenage daughter then went, "Um, no. no. no. Don't do that." She paused a few seconds then her phone alarm went off. That meant it was time for her to leave. She got up "I'm so sorry, but I really got to go. Maybe we can talk about this later?" I nodded, "Its okay. I understand." She blew me a kiss as she walked out. I started looking at the box. Found another bra. I kind of wonder if Lipstick wears pretty bras. I'm sure she does. Why was this so hard? How are we supposed to know when we are women? Is it when we get our first period? Is it when we get our first kiss? Our first date? Is it when we turn 13? 15? 16? Or 18? Is it when we become wives? Or mothers? And when it does happen, how are suppose to know? Though I honestly I'm starting to think we can't know. Like we're not supposed to figure it out. We have to just live and survive girlhood.
  8. In the aftermath of Van Gogh's 1888 breakdown that resulted in the self-mutilation of his left ear. Van Gogh voluntarily admitted himself to the Saint-Paul-de-Mausole asylum. During the year Van Gogh stayed at the asylum, The Starry Night was painted. So dear lame journal, So the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to check out the mystery drawing. She added stars. And they weren't those five-pointed fake-looking stars. They looked liked crystal balls, or like ghosts in the sky. Whoa, I just got kind of poetic here. But anyway, she added stars. *** Somehow, someway, for some reason, Mr. Big Bird started talking about cell phones. Bla bla we rely on our phone too much. Bla bla he's old. Bla bla we're an emotionless, soulless generation. Bla Bla our homework is to go to a real library. and cite real books Bla bla no cell phones. That really didn't bother me. I hardly really use it outside texting Big Eyes. See I'm like the one person left in the world that doesn't have a smartphone, an unlimited data plan, or any of that. Yea, I know that's so lame. "For this assignment, you'll be partners." There are only two people I partner with. Big Eyes or Turtle. They like to take turns doing all the work. It was Turtle's turn. Big Eyes turned around and smiled at Baseball. He nodded and smiled back. So...I guess that made them partners. Anyway, so we decided to go to the library together. We took the subway to the pubic library. And of course, there was Crazy Pants was at the station sitting on her usual bench. Oh, Crazy Pants is this homeless woman who lives at the subway station. I don't know her real name, I just call her Crazy Pants, because she sat on the bench talking to herself. "Stopping looking at your phone." I told Big Eyes. Crazy Pants started laughing. "What are you laughing at Crazy Pants?" I bit. "You kids and all of the fancy phones. You can't walk, talk, or eat without those little screens. That's what Jerry's always telling me." I don't know who this Jerry is. I guess it's one of the voices in her head. "I swear I watch you, kids, these days" she went on, "It's like you're all zombies...spirits..." "Like Ghost." I burred out. I don't know why. I just thought to say it. I guess maybe I wanted to sound a little smart or something. "Like ghost in the sky." Turtle turns to me, "George, that sounds deep." I rolled my eyes to ignore him and looked over at Crazy Pants. She was smiling at me looking very impressed. "Ghost in the sky" Crazy Pants nodded, "I like that." *** So we finally got to this library. And it was dark and dusty and creepy. "History of Communication," Baseball read off a random book. I grabbed it and flopped it on the table, "Okay Turtle, you know what to do." And then there was this old lady telling us to shut up. Turtle and I moved by the window. He handed me a pad of paper and a pencil and told me to take notes while he read. But come on, how long has he known me? Plus...I got kind of focused on something else. See, form the window there was this great view of the New York sky. You could really see the stars. It all just looked so pretty and cool, and I just ended up drawing. I just started with one star then I just kept going. And I know I should have been listening to Turtle, but I just too focused on the sky. It was like the moon, the clouds, and the stars were all...like...connected. "Wanta read back the notes?" I heard Turtle say. "What notes?" I asked. "You were supposed to be taking notes" He shrugged, "Why bother? All we have is a pencil and pad, and what can we do with that?" Then he took the pad. And honestly, I got a little nervous. See, I don't really like people seeing my drawings. Because they suck. No one, not if Big Eyes, had seen me draw. Well until tonight with Turtle. "George, I had no idea you were so good." he awed smiling at me. That kind of meant a lot to me. And as I looked at the picture...I felt...good inside. Because it was good. "Thanks." I looked over at Big Eyes and Baseball. They were...taking and...looking at each other. I mean it looked like they were really happy. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It's like, I like seeing Big Eyes happy, but I don't like seeing her happy with Baseball. Does that make any sense? I couldn't help looking at Big Eyes more now. She's so pretty. As the night went on the library didn't seem as creepy anymore. I actually looked around and I actually found something cool, this big book called "The Great Book of Artists". It's about all these famous artworks and artists. I flipped through the pages just scanning when I came upon a page I found interesting. The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh. "In the aftermath of Van Gogh's 1888 breakdown that resulted in the self-mutilation of his left ear." I read to my self, "Van Gogh voluntarily admitted himself to the Saint-Paul-de-Mausole asylum. During the year Van Gogh stayed at the asylum, The Starry Night was painted." I laughed, "So Van Gogh painted this awesome painting while he was in a crazy farm, wow."
  9. George Rivera doesn't talk to her father. Hardly talks to her mom. And she finds there even some things she can't talk to her best friend about, like her feelings for her. So why I guess the only thing to do is to...write. She's not a good writer, she's an artist. Well, a wannabe artist at least. It's really dumb for her to have a journal. But maybe that might change.
  10. What do I believe in? Okay... Okay, I believe in... This is a stupid assignment. Okay, let's brainstorm. So the other day, my best friend Big Eyes and I were walking to class. The first week of seventh grade. First period. We are the bestest friends in the world. Big Eyes is the most...kindest, sweetness, most amazing person I've ever met. She's tall and skinny, but not in an athletic way. Big brown eyes. Long brown hair. Total dork. Mega goodie. But as I said bestest friends in the world. I brushed the small red steak into the rest of my long black hair as saw her staring at this blue-eyed boy opening his locker. He was also tall though he looked more athletic. Kind of tan. Blonde hair. Pretty much like a picture of a baseball player. Baseball looked over at us. Especially at Big Eyes. It was like a romantic comedy from the start. She stared at him petrified. He on the other hand just smiled at her. It kind of bothered me how he smiled at her. It kind of bothered me how he looked at her. He just looked up at her with his boring shit blue eyes and sweet cheesy ass smile. Whoa, where did that meanness come from? I watched them stared at each other, it looked like a sweet moment. I got on my toes and tugged at her shoulder, "So where's our first class?" "History. Room 454" I was so happy when I found out Big Eyes and I were going to have the same homeroom. At least I was going to know somebody. *** "So I have a special project you guys this year. A writing project." said my new History teacher, Mr. Big Bird. I'm calling him that because of his bushy curly black hair and his big, bird-like nose. "Boring." I bit in. To be honest, I tuned him out. I could already tell that Mr. Big Bird was just like history, old (like 30 something), boring, and not relative to me. Then guess what. Baseball walks in. Big Eyes once again looked up at him all dopey eyed. And he sweetly smiled at her sitting down behind her. "Today's homework," He said to turn the attention back to him, "Something you believe so strongly enough, I would fight for it. Just write a two page essay and then give a short speech about it." "Well, I believe in no homework," I said to him. "Well um." he pointed to me trying to think of my name. "Call me George. And I'm not doing it." Mr. Big Bird narrowed his eyes at me, "Well it's your grade." I already hate History class. *** I climbed the stairs to my very low state New York apartment, to find the cardboard box by the door. See every few weeks or so, someone leaves a box of donated clothes by my door. I have no idea who or where is it coming from. I dragged the box inside with me. "Mom, I'm home." I jokingly called out. Of course, she wasn't home. I always hated the apartment so quiet. But I was used to it. I just dragged the box to my room. I really do have a nice room. Soft yellow conformer set with shiny white pillows. White dressers with red handles. Christmas lights hanging on the red brick. You know, my mom designed it. She really did. A couple of years ago she got a Christmas bonus and used it to redo my room. She would be a great interior designer if she wanted to. I got give her credit for something every once in a while. I threw my backpack into the sea of lost souls (aka my desk) and plopped down on my bed. "Bed, you understand me." I sat back up and started looking through the box. It always had the coolest stuff. Today I found a red scarf, a cameo jacket, and a pair of jean shorts. Then, oh my god you won't believe this, I pulled out a rainbow leopard print...bra. A real bra. And it almost fit me too, I couldn't stop laughing. But then I kind of got a little grossed out that someone donated their bra to me so I put back in the box and looked at more shirts. I even set aside a top with pink roses on it for Big eyes. Big eyes. Class. School. The homework. "It should be easy right?" I asked myself, " What do I care about to so strongly enough I would fight for it?" I took out a spiral and a pencil. What do I care about to so strongly enough I would fight for it? Okay, something I believe in so strongly enough I would fight for is... I rolled my eyes. Even when I try to do the right thing, I can't. Instead, I deiced to get up to check out the mystery drawing. See, form my window I could see into this person's apartment. Not in a creepy away though. All I could see was the drawing. She, I for some reason always assumed it was a she. She had been working on it for a while. And she added something new to it every day. It looked like she was sketching New York. Buildings. Street lights. An outline of a yellow taxi. Lately, she had been working on the sky. Shading it top to bottom, dark to light. It's really pretty. I wish I could draw something like that. But I can't even do my homework. *** I went too far today. "Today we will see what everyone believes in." He pointed to me, "George." God, did this guy ever listen? "I..." "I'm going first. I always go first." I heard my other friend, Turtle, called out. Turtle had to be the teacher's pet. Yup, first to volunteer since I met him last year in the 6th grade. He was pretty much the image of a super nerdy white boy form an 80's movie. And wore turtle neck sweaters. I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. "May I go to the restroom?" I blurted out. Mr. Big Bird nodded as Turtle stood up in front of the class. "I believe in valuing our education," he stated, "that we shouldn't take our opportunities for granted." I stepped out of the classroom. And started walking down the yellow hallway. "Why didn't I just do the homework?" I said to myself. Come on tell me you've never talked to yourself when you're alone in a hallway. I passed through several classrooms, not really sure where I was going anymore. Truth is I really didn't know the bathroom was, but I kind of like walking down the hall alone. "I was going to do. Really." I went on, "Really I was but..." I took another look at the yellow walls, "I have to go back. Maybe I can wing it. What do I believe in?" I passed the bathroom, "I don't believe in anything I guess. Come on, what should I do?" I passed a fire alarm. "Wait." I stopped and turned around. I considered walking away. I really did. Did I think about the long term? No. Did I ever think anything though? No. I pulled it. It was like hell broke loose. The alarm banged through the halls of the school. The sparkles went off and were beeping although with the blaring fire alarm. Doors flying open. Teachers and students running out. Crowds stamping to the exits. Rained on students were screaming. Panicked teachers screaming louder. Moving in fast forward. Everything became blurred. One blurry figure started growing larger. I blinked and Mr. Big Bird came into focus. I looked to see my hand was still on the fire alarm. I opened my mouth, but I couldn't speak. There was no way to justified this. "George? What are you doing?" I turned to see Big Eyes staring at me, eyes wide and mouth open. Turtle stood next to her shaking his head. Mr. Big Bird backed away and started running around the whole school to tell everyone that there wasn't a real fire. "What are you doing?" Big Eyes repeated. "You are in so much trouble." Turtle followed. "I...just wanted to get out of..." Big Eyes step forward putting her hand on my shoulder, "Well I'm here for you." Baseball walked by us refusing to make eye contact. Mr. Big Bird came back, drenching wet and fire up. "Miss Rivera, the principal wants to see you." Big Eyes took my hand, "I'm just there to stand by my girl. Real friends stand by each other when they're in trouble." His cold eyes shifted to her, "You missed the chance to stand by your girl. Real friends don't let each other get in trouble in the first place." He took a breath. "Can I please talk to Miss Rivera alone?" Big Eyes removed her hand and left with Turtle. "Do you have any idea how selfish and that was?" He started ripping on me. And I'm standing there thinking, this guy really doesn't care about me. He doesn't really care about my life. He just wants me to sit down, shut up, and do his dumb homework. All Mr. Big Bird cares about is homework. It's like I just get all this anger inside of me. And all this made me yelled, "Nobody is home to help me with my homework." I was kind of surprised myself. I don't think I ever thought that before. I walked away without even caring about his reaction. *** Big Eyes and I rode the subway home. "Hey...so if your dad says we can't be friends anymore, it's okay." "What are you talking about? My dad wouldn't do that," she said. Big Eyes's dad, Mr. Harris, doesn't liked me. "He hates me." "No, he doesn't." "He hates me. And I can't blame him." "George..." "I'm horrible for you. I' m trouble. I'm going down and I don't want to take you down with me." I said. She placed her on the pole right on top of mine, "But we're best friends. We're supposed to old cat ladies together, remember? I love you." After she said that something happened. She looked like herself but suddenly...there was...like...a rainbow around her. And I felt like I was eating marshmallows. And I saw a bunny. I know that sounds totally crazy and I wouldn't believe myself. But I saw bunnies. All around her. Rainbows and bunnies. My head was light, my stomach got heavy. Big Eyes then took our hands off the pole and cross them. For some reason, holding her hand was different. It was...warmer...and my body....felt weird. I didn't say anything of course. I couldn't explain it to myself; much less explain it to Big Eyes. I'm starting to think there's going a lot of things I 'm not going to talk to Big Eyes about. But in that I found something to I think I believe in. Wow, I can't believe I actually wrote all this. Five pages, more than Mr. Big Bird said. This isn't my homework though and it's not like I was planning on turning in anything anyway. This will be for me. I guess this turning into a diary thing. Oh god, I'm a girl with a diary, shit that's so Disney channel. But I'm the only one who's ever going to be seeing it. It's just a lame journal.
  11. “When you’re the King's daughter,” Caroline sits on a stage in a French cafe. "Beautiful roses grow along the castle walls, and I think about you my love. Even from behind the beautiful walls, my heart is still with you.” Her hair is dyed purple and she has gotten a nose ring. “Don’t matter how far apart. It remains in your pocket." Her new french lover, Crystal sits at a small table in the front. She watches. "I remain missing. But I keep the poison you gave me. The poison from the kiss we shared, had rooted itself inside of me. As I wonder why you can't love me. Then I remind myself that you are not a white knight on black horse. And I remind myself that I am not a real princess. I live in the castle but I don't own it. I see the roses but I don't grow them. I speak of love, but I don't have it. You are not a Prince and I am just the King's Daughter. " She bows her head and the audience snaps. She joins Crystal at the table and wraps her arms around her. *** Caroline sits in front of the window of their studio apartment with her sketch book. She colors in her drawing. A renaissance princess, looking out a window. She focuses on shading sunshine just right. Crystal sloths in with her coffee and turns on the TV. "Desdemona Potts continues her winning strike," An entertainment reporter says. "Her TV show, Queer Word is the number one drama on television, a beautiful marriage, and her latest album, Pride has already sold 60 million worldwide and reached number one on the charts." They show clips of Desdemona, with short hair in a pants suit, with her wife Darla in beautiful red evening grown. "Turn it off." Caroline yells. Crystal finds the remote and turns off the television. Caroline takes a deep breath and turns back to the window. "So is that her?" Crystal says with her thick french accent. "The one that poisoned you." Caroline rolls her eyes. "I know, it's hard to give your heart to someone, who won't give you theirs." Caroline slams her drawing on the floor. Crystal picks it up. "Caroline, you draw beautifully, but look at her face." Caroline looks at the drawing. The princess looks out the window, frowning. Caroline didn't even realize that. Crystal kneels and puts her arms on Caroline's knees. "Sweet, sweet Caroline, I know your heart is still in Los Angels," she kisses her lips. "But it’s a pleasure to have been your distraction." *** Caroline sits in a cafe drinking a latte. She wears big black sunglasses and a big black hat. The paparazzi wasn't as bad in France as they were in America, but she still liked being in incognito sometimes. She tries to call Jesse. She still as no idea how the time difference works, but she figures if she calls a random times, he is bound is to be wake eventually. The phone keeps ringing. It is super annoying that Jesse couldn't pick up the phone for his one and only sister. A little girl in pigtails walks in cafe, her father follows behind her. They talk in french. Caroline only understands bits and pieces, but she can see they are having a sweet conversation by the way the look at each other. So sweet that Caroline had to look away. She wanders if her and her dad looked that sweet. Occasionally she'll have these moments. Moments when she'll see a father order his daughter a croissant, and she'll wonder "Did daddy like croissants?". She tries to remember if she had ever seen her father eat a croissant. "Hello," Jesse's deep voice comes from the phone. "Hey Jes, What's up?" She says refocusing her brain. "Trying to write a this paper. I am going to have to pull an all nighter." "Ah." Caroline says still a little distracted by the father and daughter. "You really need to call Mom, Care." Caroline rolls her eyes. Celia was demanding that she come home. Because of course, Celia can't nag her enough from across the world. She hears a loud snort from the phone. "What is it?" "Nothing." Jesse says. Caroline watches the father and daughter leave with their pastries. "Hey, Jes," Caroline whispers. "Do remember daddy ever eating a croissant?
  12. The club is full of people. Caroline stands at the door greeting her guests. Cousins. Childhood friends. High school friends. But no Desdemona. Caroline looks at her phone. No messages. “Are you okay?” She looks up to see Jesse and Celia. “You think she’s lost?” “I don’t know,” Jesse says. “Should I text her?” “Just relax and enjoy your party,” Celia rubs her shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll come.” Caroline turns to greet more guests. *** Desdemona and Darla dance in the strobe lights. Darla drags her into a bathroom stall and kisses her hard. Desdemona pulls back, breathing hard. “I'm going to get us, some drinks." Desdemona's phone beeps. Before she can grab it, Darla reaches into her back pocket and fishes out the cell phone. "I'll take care of whoever it is." Desdemona nods and walks out of the stall. Darla looks down at the phone and sees the calls and texts from Caroline and Jesse. She erases them. *** Jesse pulls out his phone. Hey, where are you? Everybody gathers around the cake. “She hasn’t responded to any of my text,” Caroline whispers to Jesse. “She hasn’t responded to mine either.” Caroline turns to the crowd and puts on a smile. As they all sang to her, see once again scans the room for Desdemona. She closes her eyes to hold back the tears as she blows out the candles. *** Desdemona flops down on her couch. “I am so fucking tired," she stares into space. “I feel there was something else I was supposed to do today. Is there anything on my phone Darla?” “Nope,” Darla says sitting down on her lap. *** Jesse stands at the door with Celia saying goodbye to guests as the club empties out. He shuts the door. “Hey, Care." No answer. He searches the club until he hears crying in the bathroom. He opens the door to see Caroline in tears. “Care?” “Why didn’t she come?” “Maybe she was busy.” “I begged her to come.” Jesse sat down beside her, “This isn’t just a crush, is it?” “I’m love in with her.” “You feel that…” “I know. I really know. We’re in love.” He puts his arms around her, “Des likes you. But you have to understand, it’s complicated. She’s with Darla." Caroline puts her head to his chest, “Everybody just loves Darla. What's great about Darla? Her fake tits? Huh? She is a total bitch." “It’s not about who's better. It’s just how it happens." *** Desdemona’s phone blast though her bedroom. Darla rolls to her side. “I’ll get that,” Darla says lifting her arm. Desdemona intersects her, grabbing the phone and sitting up. “Hey, Jesse.” “Where the fuck were you last night?” He yells through the phone. “Smoky Mirrors in Santa Monica.” “Oh well, maybe you could have told her? Or at least texted one of us back?” “What are you talking about?” “Caroline’s birthday.” “Oh shit, when is that?” “Yesterday.” She puts him on speaker and looks at her calendar. “I swore it was on my calendar.” “Well, you didn’t show up, and she ended up crying all night.” “I'm sorry.” “Don’t just say sorry,” Jesse yells. “Do something or just stop misleading her.” “Misleading her? No, I'll make it up to her. I swear.” “You better.” *** “Caroline you got flowers,” Celia yells through the mansion. “What?” Celia leaves the card alone and goes to the stairway, "You got flowers." Caroline goes downstairs to see a vase full of pink roses. “Wow,” She grins. She picks up the note. 18 roses for your 18th birthday. Caroline, I’m sorry I missed your party. I hope to make up for it by inviting you to be my VIP guest t Smoked 420 music fest in Amsterdam. Desdemona Potts “Why is that woman sending you flowers?” “Not just flowers, but a trip.” “After what she did?” Celia says. “I'm not going to allow you to go outside the country with that girl.” “Well good thing I don’t need your permission anymore.” She pulls the letter to her heart and runs upstairs. She jumps on her bed. She pulls out her phone. “Hi,” she beams as soon as Desdemona answers the phone. “Hey, birthday girl did you get the flowers?” “I did.” “So you’re not going to kill me now?” “We’ll see.” Caroline giggles, “So are you like, serious about Amsterdam?” “I will be performing at Smoked 420,” Desdemona says. “So I thought I’d bring some friends. No cost to you of course.” “Friends?” Caroline says dropping her smile. “Is Darla coming?” “No,” Desdemona says. “Me. You. Jesse. Riley. And Justin." Caroline pauses unsure, It wasn’t a “romantic vacation” like she had hoped. But a group hang with her brother. However, it was close enough. *** Caroline runs through the gift shop as if she were a kid in a candy store. She speeds through grabbing pot leaf jewelry and Rastafarian clothing. “Can I have this?” She asks turning to Desdemona. Desdemona and Jesse look up from their English to Dutch dictionary. Desdemona nods. “You know what, since it’s your 18th birthday, you can get 18 things.” “Really?” Caroline chuckles. “Sure,” Desdemona says holding out her debit card. Caroline grabs it and smiles. Jesse rolls his eyes. Desdemona raises her eyebrows. “What?” she asks. “You didn’t have to do that.” He bits his lip and turns back to the dictionary. Riley and Justin come to him. “Dude we have to check out the brothels.” “Brothels?” Jesse whispers, “So that’s a real thing?” Riley shows Jesse his phone, “It’s totally legal and totally real here. Everything is.” Justin scrolls through the web page, “So many locations, we get ever pick our girls.” “Let me pick.” Riley chuckles, “I know your type.” Jesse shifts and moves his hand between them. “So you guys are cool with...that stuff?” Jesse says struggling to put the words together. “Who says there are only girls?” Riley chuckles turning his boyfriend. “Either way, Justin will some fun. And I am secure enough in our relationship to let him.” Riley kisses Justin on the lips. Jesse nods. “The real problem is that a lot of these are exclusive for celebrities.” “Don’t worry,” Jesse says. “I can get us in, anywhere.” “Awesome,” Justin turns to Desdemona. “You in Des?” Caroline hands Desdemona a shopping bag, “There are so many shops WE NEED to check out. And we need to try Danishes. Get it? Danish danishes?” Desdemona grabs the bag and turns to the boys, “Go have fun. I guess I’m spending the day shopping and eating pastries.” *** Caroline records Desdemona's dressing room. "Oh god," Desdemona yells from the bathroom. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Come out." "No video." "Ok," Caroline stops the recording. “I'm serious, put the phone down.” Caroline puts the phone down on the table. Desdemona walks out in green high heel leather boots, tight black leather pants with chains hanging down them. A tight corset with pot leaves. Her hair straighten and face covered in black and green make up. She holds up her hands to cover up her arms. "It's too much." "You look totally hot...but you look uncomfortable." Desdemona looks into the mirror and tries to bend her knees. "How can I even perform in this?" There's a knock at the door, "Ms. Potts, we’re ready for you." Caroline grabs her phone and gets up, "I should get my seat." Desdemona nods. Caroline touches her arm, "You're going to great out there." Desdemona looks down at the floor and nods shifting away. *** Caroline walks to her front-row seat to the boys staring straight into the flashing lights. "Are you okay?" She asks her brother looking into his bloodshot eyes. The boys giggle at each other. "Desdemona Potts." She hears the announcer say. The stage becomes covered in smoke. Desdemona enters. "Hello, Amsterdam." The crowd cheers. "I am so stoked to here with you tonight. Is everyone high?" They cheer. "Feel free to load your bowls, roll your joints and, puff puff pass." The music starts. "With green in her hair, I lay with Mary Jane." Desdemona pauses and the crowd cheers. "I breathe her in, she fills my lungs, and things start to get...funny." Desdemona pauses and the crowd laughs. "If being with her is wrong, I'm not right." The crowd applauds and music grows louder. "Puff puff pass" she sings. *** As the group exits from the back, the boys declare they're going to go to another club. Desdemona bites her lip, "Are you sure? Y'all look...tried." "Come on, let's keep rolling," Jesse yells like he can't hear the volume of his own voice. Riley pats him on the shoulder and laughs. "Yea, we're in another country," Riley says. "Let's party. Y'all coming?" Justin waves his hand out and a cab drives up. "No," Desdemona says. "I'm going to head back to the hotel." "I'll go with you," Caroline says smiling at her. The boys stumble off in the cab. Caroline turns the direction of the hotel of sees a small horse-drawn carriage. She pulls on Desdemona's arm. "Let's go on that." "No." "Please." "No" She puckers her lips. "Pretty please." Desdemona crosses her arms. Caroline runs to the driver and gets on. She stares at Desdemona from the carriage. Desdemona huffs and then walks to the carriage. She hands the driver her card and sits next to Caroline. As the carriage moves Caroline wraps her arms around Desdemona's arm and puts her head on her shoulder. "I love horses. Have you ridden a horse?" "I actually I haven't," Desdemona says. "We have a ranch back in California, we used to go there every summer." "That sounds cool." "You really think?" Desdemona nods. "Yea it is. I loved living at the ranch,” Caroline says. "If I had a farm, I would grow pot." Caroline laughs, "Definitely." "Yea. I think I would like to live on a farm," Desdemona says."You know fresh air, away from pollution, and I bet you really see the stars." "Yes, you can. Dad loved looking at the stars. We would go outside and look at the stars and he would name the consultations." Caroline bites her lips and hangs her head down. Desdemona signs, and then puts her arm around Caroline. *** Desdemona opens the door to the roof of their hotel. Caroline walks out holding a hotel blanket. Caroline smiles at her, “Thank you." "Yeah yeah yeah happy birthday," Desdemona says. "I can't believe I had to bribe the hotel manager to get just an hour up here." "I appreciate it." Caroline lays the blanket down and they sit on it. The city lights are beautiful. They look up into the indigo sky with millions of beautiful specks. Desdemona lights a joint. Desdemona takes a big puff. “My mother used to say that the stars represented our souls. And she said that our stars followed us wherever we went." Caroline chuckled, “Wow that's deep.” Desdemona smirks passing the joint, “I don’t know, she was drugged out of her mind.” Caroline lays her head on Desdemona’s shoulder. Caroline points at the two stars right above them, “That’s us right there, away from the others, they shine on their own.” Desdemona laughs, the corners of her mouth rising, her teeth shining. “We’re fucked up aren’t we?” Desdemona asks. “Bonding over shit our dead parents said." Caroline cuts her off with a kiss. It starts slow but gains friction. It was a moment out of a silly movie. It was a moment where they both could just forget all the wrongs and rights. It was a moment they just could feel rainbows shining and butterflies fluttering. They grab on to each other. Desdemona pins Caroline down. Caroline’s back hits the blanket. Desdemona could feel that Caroline’s hands exploring her body. They break for a short breath. “I love you.” Caroline mumbles. Desdemona looks into those aqua blue eyes. Caroline touches her lips. Desdemona pulls completely back. She stands up holding her head. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” “What?” “My head is spinning.” “Isn’t that good?” Caroline kisses her neck. Desdemona shudders and gathers her things. “No, I can’t.” “I thought you liked me.” “I do.” “Then what’s wrong?” “You don’t understand.” “If you would tell me, I might.” “I need to go.” Desdemona walks off Caroline follows her. “Why won’t you talk to me?” “I can’t explain this to you. I need to be alone.” “I’m not leaving you alone.” “You never do,” Desdemona yells. “What is that supposed to mean?” “You’ve been stalking me since we met. I can’t turn around without you making googly eyes at me,” Desdemona opens her hotel door. ”I don’t have time to deal with groupies.” “Am I really just a groupie to you?” Desdemona walks in and slams the door shut. Caroline starts punching the door. “You fucking bitch. I wish I’d never meet you.” “Same here,” Desdemona yells back. *** The flight home was silent. Desdemona could see Caroline had been crying. She hated herself for that, but even more, she hated herself for letting it happen. She catches Jesse staring at her. He looks mad but not like he’s going to yell at her. They had gotten really close over the past year. But she screwed it up. She blinks and stares out the window, not wanting to look at either one of them. When they walked out of the airport, the siblings called their own cab and left without a word. *** The next night, Jesse shows up to Desdemona's apartment, sniffing his nose. “Dude, what’s up?” She asks, not sure what else is to say. He enters the living room and stares at her. “Did Amsterdam really happen?” “Yea, we went to Amsterdam, I performed at the 420 concert. You had fun.” “Am I talking about when you kissed Caroline?” “Yea, ” Desdemona says shifting her eyes away from him. “Are you going to hit me or something?” “No, but I would like an explanation.” “I’m sorry,” Desdemona sits down on the chair. “We were on the roof looking at the stars and got swept up in the moment. And I stopped it the minute I realized.” “Why did you stop?” “Jesse, our friendship…” He holds his hand up. “Don’t give me that “I won’t fuck my best friend’s sister” shit. You need to stop using me as an excuse. Because I know that our friendship is not the real reason.” Desdemona is silent. “Caroline terrifies you,” Jesse says sniffing his nose. “She makes you feel, and that scars the fuck out of you. Somewhere in your fucked up brain, you think you shouldn’t be happy. I think you like feeling pain, so you pushed her away. When you are actually crazy about her.” “She makes me crazy and I make her crazier. She doesn't want to believe it, but we’re a bad combination.” “Caroline packed up and moved to Europe yesterday,” Jesse says. “She said she needs to ‘find herself’ there.” Desdemona crosses her arms. “You don’t seem upset?” “I figured she never wanted to see again,” Desdemona says. “No surprise she would move to another county to avoid me.” “What exactly happened in Amsterdam?” Darla says entering the room, arms crossed and eyes red as her hair. “Dar…” “Just say that you fucked her.” “I didn’t fuck her. We made out.” Jesse shifts out of the way as Darla charges toward Desdemona. “Made out? What are you, like 12?” Darla shifts her neck. “No...yes...we were on the roof of the hotel, blazed, and we had this moment.” “A moment. You had a fucking moment. What the fuck does that mean?” Darla raises her hand. “God Desi, why couldn’t you just fuck her?” “Darla...” “I’m not saying that you have to commit to me...but I need to be your number one.” “You are. You are number one.” Darla starts to walk away. Desdemona grabs her waist gently. “Please Dar, I’ll do anything.” “Anything?” “Yes, anything?” Darla thinks for a minute as she stokes Desdemona's fingers. “Marry me.” Darla states. Jesse and Desdemona both gasp. “What?” “If you and I are really, ride or die, then marry me. Marry me or so help me I will leave and never speak to you again.” Desdemona couldn’t let Darla getaway. She couldn’t imagine her life without Darla. She needed her. At that moment she wasn’t sure if that meant love or not, but as she stares into Darla's eyes, she images that she could live the rest of her life happily with Darla. Everyone was right about Caroline. Caroline was complicated, spoiled, and had done nothing but cause drama between her and Darla. Plus Caroline had said she never wanted to see her again. Darla was perfect and much more than she deserved. She would hate herself if she let Darla walkout when Darla asked for so little. “Ok,” Desdemona finally spoke. “Let’s get married.” This time Darla gasped. Shocked at the answer. “Really?” “If that’s what you want?” They both stare at each other, waiting for the other to say ‘gotcha ya’. “Well,” Darla says. “I’m up for it...when you are.” “Anytime...you want.” “Ok...what about tonight?” “Whoa,” Jesse interjects. “Let’s hold up, ladies.” “Yes tonight,” Darla speaks again. “Call Riley and Justin. And just do it.” “Ok,” Desdemona says. “Call them and let’s do it.” Darla walks backward slowly, watching Desdemona as Desdemona watches her. As Darla leaves the room, Jesse walks up Desdemona and shakes her. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing getting married?” “I can’t lose Darla,” Desdemona says recovering from the shock. “But you kissed Caroline like two days ago.” “I know, but…” “Do you even...love Darla?” She blinks a few seconds searching for the answer. Darla walks back, on the phone, “Okay pick us up and we’ll go the chapel.” She turns to Jesse, “So are you coming?” Jesse closes his mouth and shakes his head. “Not tonight. I’ll see around.” He steps toward the door and waves good-bye. *** Before Desdemona knew she was watching Darla pick out wedding dresses in the back seat of Justin’s truck. “I think we should wear dresses, ” Darla states. “You could wear a suit, but I hate that because reapplies that one of us needs to be ‘the man’ to enforce this heterosexual tradition.” That sounded more like Darla. “But both of us wearing a long white dress? So cheesy.” “Why don’t we just wear rainbows dress, that would be gay as fuck,” Desdemona says as a joke. “Oh my god, I love that.” Justin pulls over to the sign with the neon wedding bells. “We’re here,” Darla swallows. “Ok...we’re here.” Darla opens the door, “I’m going to go set everything up.” Riley and Justin turn to Desdemona. They huddle. “What the fuck are you doing? Seriously, getting married?” “What’s wrong with Darla and I getting married?” “Because for one, you kissed Caroline.” “It was just a kiss. It meant nothing compared to Darla.” “Oh Come on, Desi that kiss meant something.” “Caroline was a mistake. And I will never see her again.” Desdemona gets of the car and slowly walks into the chapel.
  13. Thank you so much for commenting. Shaggy is the funniest of course. But before I even knew I was gay, I knew I wanted to fuck Daphne. I really to play out the intro will the fake out.
  14. Thank you so much! This made me week. I glad you love lyrics and see the parallels,
  15. The high school cafeteria is covered with music notes and records. Four pretty girls in poodle skirts place food on a clothed table. “50’s theme was actually a cute idea, so you’re not as freaky as I thought you were Desi Mae.” Sixteen-year-old Desi Mae lets it slide because she’s trying to get along with the other football girlfriends, at least she got her 50’s sock hop theme selected. *** Desi Mae dances with Riley. Her wearing a skirt. Him wearing a football jacket. Riley puts his mouth close to her ear. “Thanks, Desi, for trying,” he whispers. “I know you can’t stand the other football girlfriends. But I appreciate you trying.” “You know I’ll do anything for you,” she whispers back. *** Riley opens the door for her. Her grandparent's house was straight out of the '70s. Her grandparents approach. “How was the dance?” Her grandmother asked. "Good," They both say nodding. “You treat my little star right, young man?” Her grandfather asks. “He always does, Papa,” Desi Mae says. “I’d never risk upsetting you, Mr. Brown,” Riley says. Papa shakes Riley’s hand. “You comin’ by the shop tomorrow?” “Yes, Sir.” *** Desi Mae, dressed in prepish, 60ish clothes, sit at the front desk of her grandfather’s auto shop. The office phone to her ear. “Hi Mr. Hebert, this is Desi Mae from the shop,” she says. “I’m calling you to inform you that your car should be ready for pick up tomorrow at 1,” she smiles. “Yes, and the rest of your payment will be $300. Alright, thank you and see you soon.” She goes back to filing paperwork. She sees a headline on her cellphone. TEXAS GAY TEEN TAKES HIS OWN LIFE. “Desi Mae.” She looks away and toward a customer. “Hey Mr. Goodson, I’ll tell my papa you're here.” “Thank you, Desi Mae.” She opens the door to the shop. “Papa, Mr. Goodson is here.” “Thanks, sugar pie.” Her grandfather comes in with Riley, saying complex car stuff. “So...the car is okay?” “Yes.” “Thanks for looking at it Mr. Brown,” “If you’re going to be driving around my little star, gotta keep your car in good shape. Desi Mae knows what to do in an emergency, but a woman shouldn’t have to.” He shakes Mr. Goodson’s hand, “Hey Albert, got your baby purring.” “Good,” Mr. Goodson says. “So are y'all going to church tomorrow?” “Of course.” “Can’t wait to see Desi Mae perform, ” he smiles at Desdemona. “You’re the best singer our choir’s got.” “Thank you,” Desdemona says. “I love to sing.” Her grandfather smiles and motions Mr. Goodson to the shop. They leave. Desi Mae turns to her phone. Riley leans in, “What's the matter?” “Another gay teen suicide. 15 miles from here,” she whispers. “Oh,” “He was bullied mercifully. Someone wrote faggot on his locker.” “Desi.” “It’s wrong.” “I know it’s wrong. But he should have been...smarter. He should have made sure nobody knew.” “Riley…” The men walk back in. Riley kisses her on the cheek and waves good-bye. *** Desi Mae turns on the shower. She puts it on hot. She takes off her cross necklace and steps in, her legs with scars all over them. She sits in the shower and folds her hands. “Lord please forgive me for sins. Please fix me so I can be normal. Please burn out all the bad in me. Please make me good.” She grabs a razor and cuts her thigh. *** Desdemona and Jeff sit in big chairs at Appleseed records. They sit across from Johnson and Smith. Johnson, a white guy, who probably misses his blackberry. But he rolls up his sleeves, to make himself look “cool”. Smith, a white woman, whose pants suit probably cost more than a car payment and who still shoulders pats with still "in". Smith puts her hands together. “So we invited you two here today, to discuss the new album...we love what you’ve done so far..but we think…” She stops, trying to find the nicest way to continue. “We want the album to be gayer.” Johnson spits out. Jeff bites his lip. “Gayer?” Desdemona chuckles, “What does that mean? Isn’t it already pretty gay, if it’s made by a gay artist? What about Stand Tall?” “We loved, loved, loved Stand Tall,” Smith says. “But we need to make some changes.” Desdemona looks at Jeff. Jeff motions his hand downward, telling her to keep calm. “We are open to changes,” Jeff says. “Well we love the story,” Smith says. “Drag queens are so in right now. But the murder part is a real downer.” “A downer?” Desdemona says, “But I thought you liked being dark and edgy. I mean that’s what the fans like.” Jeff shoots her a look and repeats the hand motions. “But sure.” Desdemona nods, “How can I make it an upper?” Smith rolls her eyes. “Basically,” Johnson says. “Get rid of the murder part and add some more gay shit.” “Gay shit?” “You know, throw it some rainbows and glitter or whatever.” Desdemona takes a deep breath. “We just feel,” Smith speaks again. “That if we are going to build you as a symbol of the community, we need to do it with positively.” Desdemona looks at Jeff then at them. “Okay,” she finally says. “I’ll rewrite it, without the murder and add more...gay shit.” Desdemona gets up. Jeff follows. “Hey before you go,” Johnson says holding up his hand. “That pretty little redhead, you're always photographed with. Is that your girlfriend?” Desdemona pauses, not knowing how to answer. She wasn’t sure if she wanted people to know that. “What does that matter?” Desdemona asks back. “We want to meet her,” Johnson says. “Bring her next week.” Desdemona opens her mouth, but Jeff raises his hand, cutting her off. “Yes,” Jeff says. “We would love to bring her in.” *** Jesse holds the door for Desdemona as they enter the small diner. “They say they’re 'expanding' my audience,” Desdemona says in air quotes. “But what that really means is they want generic.” “Is that bad?” “Yes, it is. Generic is bland. And the whole reason I wrote the song was to honor Rainbow, but they don’t want me to tell the real story.” “Okay, but wouldn’t Rainbow have rather people hear it? Wouldn’t...she...want you to...adapt in order to be successful?” Desdemona bites her lip. That’s a good point. A cute blonde in a blue waitress uniform comes up to them. “What can I do for you?” She stares up at Desdemona. “Oh my god...are you Desdemona Potts?” “Yes, I am,” she says charmingly. The waitress flips her hair and bats her eyes. “I love your...music.” “Thanks.” “Um hey,” Jesse interjects. “Pick up order for Jesse...Jesse Abrams.” “Okay,” The waitress said, still looking at Desdemona. “I’ll go check your order, personally.” She walks away, being sure to show off her hips as she moves. Desdemona and Jesse lean against the counter. “So you think I should let this go?” Desdemona asks him. “Yea. It’s one song for the greater good. The album is going to be good. You just need to blow off some steam.” Desdemona looks over at the waitress staring at her by the pie display case. “That looks good.” “Yea,” Jesse says. “You want to get some pie?” Desdemona goes over to the pie case. "Hey, any chance I could get some pie?" The waitress smiles and leans forward, "You like pie?" Desdemona leans on to the counter and puts her fingertips over the waitress's nails, "Yea, I very much enjoy eating...pie." The blonde moves her hands under Desdemona's fingers, "Do you want it cold or hot?" "Hot. Really hot," Desdemona answers before biting her lip. The waitress chuckles, "Do you want it.. alamode?" Desdemona strokes her hands, "Well everything is better with...cream." She gasps and then whispers, "I'll add it to your order." The blonde waitress walks to the restroom. She looks over at Desdemona and goes inside. Jesse walks up to her, "What are you doing?" “Yea, you get the pie. I’m going to screw that waitress.” “What?”Jesse says confused. “You said I should blow off some steam.” She laughs before walking away. *** They sit in Desdemona’s living room watching TV when Darla walks in. She sits down next to Desdemona and grabs one of her fries then the other half of her burger. “This is good.” Jesse shifts his eyes. “Yea,” Desdemona says casually. “It's from the diner on Melrose. We got pie too.” Desdemona leans back, “The waitress tasted good too.” Jesse raises his eyebrows. Darla chuckles, “You did?” “In the bathroom.” “Public sex. Score,” Darla holds out her hand. Desdemona slaps her hand then puts her fingers in between Darla’s. Darla takes her hand and puts her head on Desdemona’s shoulders. “Okay,” Jesse says leaning forward. “You’re cool with that?” Darla shallows and leans toward him, “Yes I am. Because we don’t conform to your hetero concepts like monogamy.” “But it doesn’t make you jealous,” Jesse asks. “I thought with two women it would like double drama.” “Because you have been led to believe women hate other women. But the truth is that we love women and I would never restrain her from getting some ass.” “See why I like her?” Desdemona asks. Jesse nods and leans back. *** Once again, Desdemona and Jeff sit in the big chairs across from Johnson and Smith. “What did we tell you about going too dark?” Johnson bites. “What we mean is,” Smith says, putting her hands up. “This new intro...we can’t put that on the radio?” “Why?” Desdemona asks. Smith turns to Johnson. Johnson grabs a piece of paper and reads off of it. “In the town next to mine, there’s a boy who is sick of hearing, all you…” He trails off. He looks at Desdemona. “Faggots,” She leans forward. “There’s a boy who is sick of hearing, all you faggots must die.” Everyone raises their eyebrows. As if they have never heard it before. Johnson clears his throat and goes on. “And he knows exactly why, So he must...slit his wrist and die.” They turn to Desdemona. She could feel even Jeff, staring at her with anger. She takes a deep breath. “Okay it’s dark, but in the context of the song…” “We can’t have that.” Smith cuts her off, “We can’t have kids killing themselves. Mentioning...that...can lead to...” “What?” Desdemona bites. “That’s not how that works, okay. Besides every other song on Child of the Night, was about suicide and death.” “But that’s different,” Johnson speaks up. “That was before you received mass public attention. We now have a responsibility.” “Responsibility?” Desdemona bites again. “Exactly, a responsibility to share the stories of a young gay and trans teens that felt they needed to kill themselves to escape the horrible homophobia..” “But, do you have to say it like that?” Smith says. “Using...that word.” “Faggot?” Desdemona yells. “That’s why I need to use that word.” She turns to Jeff, “Come on, you know that we have to stand up and take back the word faggot. “If this is going to be an album for gay people, it should be about real gay issues.” Jeff stares down at the floor. “Then there’s the verse about murder.” “Another verse about murder.” Jeff mumbles. The points of Desdemona’s mouth drop. “On the other side of the country, there’s a young girl. She wears pretty dresses and has pretty hair. But they don’t believe she’s a her, so they bash her in.” “I believe in that verse,” Desdemona says, but quieter this time, seeing Jeff not looking at her. “Jeff?” Jeff takes a deep breath and stands, “We will discuss it and get you a rewrite by the end of the week.” *** Caroline and Desdemona sit in the living room. “When you’re the king's daughter,” Caroline sings while playing the guitar. "Beautiful roses grow along the castle walls, and I think about you, my love. Even from behind the beautiful walls, my heart is still with you.” Jesse walks in. The girls don’t notice. “Don’t matter how far apart. It remains in your pocket.” Desdemona rolls her eyes. Caroline stops playing. “You sound good...but what’s with these lyrics?” “I liked it,” Jesse says. “I’ve never heard you play before.” “Thanks, bro,” Caroline puts down the guitar. “Des has been giving me lessons.” She sits next to Desdemona. “But see,” Caroline points to the paper in Desdemona’s hand. “It gets better.” “You need to get the part sooner.” “Like here?” Caroline asks, brushing up against Desdemona’s cheek. Jesse raises his eyebrow. “That works,” Desdemona says focusing on the paper more than on Caroline. “And what about swapping these lines?” “Yea, sure,” Caroline responds, placing her arm over Desdemona. Jesse rolls his eyes. It seemed obvious his friend wasn’t interested in his little sister. But it is creepy to see Caroline flirt like that. Riley and Justin come in wearing football jerseys. “Game is on. Time to clear out.” “Okay.” Desdemona gathers her papers, “We will go out and get a bite or something.” “You don’t want to watch the game?” Jesse asks. “No. I've watched enough football for a lifetime,” Desdemona chuckles. “What about you, Care? You like football.” “Nah.” Caroline picks up the guitar and follows Desdemona to her bedroom, “Can we take the motorcycle?” “Des doesn't let anyone on her bike.” “She lets Caroline on it.” Riley mumbles to him. “I don’t know,” Desdemona says, walking through the kitchen grabbing her keys. “I want to ride on Esther.” Caroline says coming into the kitchen, “Please.” “I bet she’s going to do the puppy face.” Justin whispers to Riley and Jesse. “The puppy face?” Jesse asks. Caroline frowns, biting her inner lips and bats her eyes. Desdemona huffs and then says, “Fine. Get my helmet.” Caroline smiles, grabs the helmet, and they walk out together. “What was that?” Jesse asks. Riley and Justin chuckled sitting down the couch. “We don’t know when it started." Riley says as opening titles roll, "But when Caroline wants something, she does the puppy face. Dez almost always caves.” “That sounds annoying.” “I actually like it when Caroline is here, it brings out a sweet side of Dez.” “Is she over here a lot?” “Yea. Hey, can you get the chips?” He goes to their pantry, "What about Dustin?” “Oh, Caroline didn’t tell you? They broke up.” “No," Jesse gets the chips and walks over. "What happened?” “We don’t quite know. Just that Dez had to pick her up. She came here crying. And slept in Dez’s bed.” Jesse's eyes widen. Riley realizes what he said and puts his hand up. “No," Riley stands up. “No, Dez won’t touch her. When Caroline spends the night, for what reason. Dez sleeps on the couch and gives Caroline her bed.” “Well, it’s nice.” “Exactly, she can’t help but to be sweet to Caroline.” “But as a friend, just?” “Yea, Dez wouldn’t fuck with you like that.” Riley says as the game starts. “Also Darla would murder her. She’s hella jealous.” Justin adds on. “I thought Darla didn’t get jealous.” “Oh, Darla is very territorial.” “But it doesn't matter how many times she has told Caroline. Caroline won’t stop.” Jesse sits on the couch and turns to his focus on the screen. *** “That’s bullshit,” Caroline says after Desdemona tells her about the meeting as they walk out of the movie theater. It’s hot outside so Caroline takes off her hoodie, showing some skin that Desdemona couldn’t help to look at. “I know, right,” Desdemona says, playing with her keys. She takes a small glimpse at the little cleavage peeking out of her tank top. “You’re the artist. You are the one in charge of the music.” Caroline leans over the motorcycle. “Really?” Desdemona says noticing the curves of her hips and her cute little ass. “Yea, they’re like marketing people or something right? Isn’t their job to sell you? They work for you.” “I don’t know about that.” Caroline blushes her long brown back, “And Jeff didn’t say anything?” “Nope.” Desdemona shakes her head. She’s actually getting really turned on. She had to stop thinking about Caroline like that. “Well, isn’t it his job to defend you? Shouldn’t he be telling them to let you create?” God, her lips looked so lickable. Desdemona does not say anything but shifts her eyes. “You okay?” Caroline asks, hopping on the back end of the bike. She looked down at the ground, “I'm going to take you back home.” “Now? It’s like 8:30?” “I gotta go to Darla’s. Plus maybe it’s best to at least try to get on Celia's good side.” *** Desdemona pulls her bike up to the gate of Celia’s mansion. Caroline gets off the bike and hands her the helmet. Desdemona puts on a helmet. She waves and drives off without saying anything. Caroline is confused. She turns around to the small silver box by the gate and types in the code to open it. As she walks through the front lawn, she looks back to see if Desdemona might come back. She enters the house and goes the kitchen. She is surprised to see Jesse drinking ice tea with Celia. They both stare at her. “Hey, how was the game?” Caroline asks just to fill the silence. “Pretty Good. I’d thought about leaving early so I can talk to you about something. So Dez drove you home?” “Yea, she just dropped me off and left. Apparently she just had to go over to Darla’s.” “Well Darla is her girlfriend...you know that, right?” She really didn’t like his tone. “What is that supposed to mean?” “Care,” Celia says leaning forward. “We are worried that you might be getting some wrong messages from this girl. And that you might get yourself into some complicated situations.” “Oh because you don’t want to see me with a woman.” Celia rolls her eyes, “Oh come on Caroline. I don’t care if you are gay, bi, pan or whatever. But I don’t want you to get yourself into something you can’t handle.” “What and who I do, is none of your business,” Caroline says before turning around to leave. “What happened with you and Dustin?” Jesse calls out. Caroline stops. “Yes dear, why didn’t you tell us?” Celia asks. “Thank God, of course, but what happened?” She was getting really sick and tired of telling people. She huffs and turns around. “He cheated okay.” Celia comes toward her, “Oh dear, I’m sorry.” Caroline takes a step back, “He cheated on me. He yelled at me. And he probably never loved me at all.” She turns away and stomps out. *** Desdemona knocks on Darla’s door. Darla opens it wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt. God, she’s so happy to see Darla. She is so horny, she was surprised she was to drive straight. Caroline pressing into her didn’t help. She grabs Darla’s waist and attacks her with kisses. She slides her hand down to Darla’s plump tight ass. They back petal to Darla’s room. Her roommate didn’t seem to be home so it was perfect. She really needed something rough and loud. Darla is an amazing kisser, and her long red so soft. It’s almost as if Darla was built in a lab just for her. Darla lays on her bed.”I don’t know what has gotten into you. But I like it.” *** For the third time, Desdemona and Jeff sit in those god awful chairs. She can tell he is still mad at her. Darla sits beside her wearing a business outfit as if she were about to be called into a job interview. Smith and Johnson walk in. They shift their eyes to her then to Jeff, then to Darla. Darla stands up and reaches her hand out. “I’m Darla Sinclair.” Smith shakes her and smiles. Giving Desdemona a sort of ‘why aren’t you respectful like this’ look. Johnson eyes Darla down and then shakes her hand while taking a quick look at her chest. “Nice to meet you,” he says. “So what is it that you do here in LA?” “I...I’m a model.” “Oh,” he says then asks. “Any place I would’ve seen you?” Darla swallows and takes a deep breath, “Just around, you know.” “So you're comfortable in front of the camera?” Darla nods. “Is there anything you’re not comfortable doing on a camera?” Darla and Desdemona raise their eyebrows. “What he means is,” Smith climes in. “Would be okay with doing on-camera appearances, like red carpet events with Desdemona.” “Oh,” Darla says shocked, “Of course. I'm totally open to that.” “Good,” Smith nods and then moves closer. “You’ll find if you play ball with us, we’ll swing a few your way.” “I hear you,” Darla says and then nods. She turns around and sits back down. Desdemona holds her and rubs her fingers over Darla's skin for confront. “So after going back and forth, we think we have come to a conclusion. Two edits?” “Two edits?” Desdemona asks. “Yes, a condensed clean version for radio and web, and then an extended version for the album.” She looks to Jeff. “That’s perfect,” Jeff says. “Yup, prefect,” She repeats “Really?” Smith says raising her eyebrows. Jeff side-eyes Desdemona. She sits up. “Yea, that sounds great,” she takes a deep breath. *** Desdemona kicks the walls of the parking garage as she, Jeff, and Darla walk to the car. “I’m so sick and so tried..of having to so nice to those dicks.” Darla reaches out to rub her shoulder but she moves away. Darla grabs her hand. “Just calm down. You’re overreacting.” “Caroline says the label is supposed to work for me.” Darla and Jeff look at her and roll their eyes. "Well, what Caroline says is not important," Jeff says. "And do ever let Caroline use your studio time ever again." "How did you find out about that?" Jeff gets in the car as paparazzi come running through the parking garage with a camera. Darla quickly grabs Desdemona and kisses her. The cameras flash.
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