The Castaway Hotel - 6 - 41. Chapter 41 - Saying Good-bye

After I made the arrangements with the funeral home, I worked with the minister to plan for the service I wanted at the church. After Brent died, I wasn’t thinking very clearly, so I made mistakes, which I didn’t want to repeat.

The biggest of those mistakes was that I didn’t involve all the boys in the planning or service. Some of them had mentioned it several times during the intervening months and let me know they would always regret they didn’t take part. This time, everyone would be included, one-way or another.

I called Nick’s parents’ home, to let him know about Cody. Nick wanted to come back for the funeral and offered to delay his trip to Brazil, so he could do this. However, I was reticent to have him make such a quick decision. Instead, I told him to think about it for a while and talk it over with his parents, before he made up his mind. I told him the entire family would be fine with whatever he chose to do.

I emphasized everyone would understand if he went to Brazil as scheduled, but I didn’t want to influence his decision, because I realized it might be a choice that could affect him for years to come. He said he’d let me know which option he settled on, as soon as he knew himself, and I assured him that would be fine. A couple hours later I got a call back from Nick, during which he informed me he and his parents would be joining us for the service.

Since we arrived home from Sloan-Kettering, Kevin had been spending a great deal of time with Graham. He was helping him work through the grieving process, since he had gone through it when Brent died. This, of course, made Kevin the most qualified for the job and he took the responsibility seriously. He had taken it upon himself to help Graham through this, with no coaxing from any of us, so I made sure to thank him, the next time we were alone.

I also thanked Vinnie for being so understanding and sharing Kevin with a needy brother. Vinnie said he understood Graham needed Kevin right now and he wasn’t jealous, but I told him it was still nice to see. It is especially heartwarming to witness one of them going out of his way to help another and it also showed a certain amount of maturity on his part.

For the entire day after we got home, there was nothing scheduled to take place. The calling hours wouldn’t be until the following day, so I used this time to work with the boys who wanted to do something special for the service. When I spoke to Dion, he asked if he could sing the hymns and other spiritual songs before, during and after the service, which I thought was a wonderful idea. Eagerly, I sat down with him to pick out appropriate selections for this occasion.

I also called the church and spoke to the minister, so I could tell him what we wanted to do. He agreed to allow Dion to sing the various hymns we’d selected and then suggested he could arrange for the children’s choir to back him up. Once we agreed, he recommended setting up a practice for later that evening, so we could get them all together to make sure they knew the various songs and it all gelled with the organist. We agreed it would be fine with us and then we thanked him for his help. I knew this would sound beautiful and be perfect, under the circumstances, and I praised Dion for his offer.

Graham and Trey had also suggested they wanted to do something special. They were going to write something appropriate for the service and then read it at the church. I told them that would be fine and sent them off to compose whatever it was they wanted to say. I would look their ideas over later, so I could offer suggestions and help polish their rough drafts. They both thought it was a good idea, so they went to their rooms to consider what they were going to write.

Andrew had also come up to me and asked if there was some way we could use the picture he drew of Cody. I told him I’d have it framed and placed beside the casket, to help others remember what Cody looked like before he got sick. Andrew smiled at my response and asked if he could do another picture too, but this one in color. I told him it was a wonderful idea, while also reminding him he didn’t have much time to complete it, just in case he wanted to reconsider. He said he would do it anyway and raced off to get started.

I also spoke to the other boys, to determine which of them wanted to be pallbearers and which would prefer to assist with communion. Although communion isn’t normally a part of the funeral service, I had requested it be included. This would help remind the rest of us that someday we would all be reunited in God’s presence, as promised by the sacrifice Jesus had made and signified by this sacrament. The minister agreed we could do this, so I informed him I would have four of my boys assist him with this portion of the service.

Now, I just had one more thing to take care of, so I approached Vinnie to discuss the idea with him. Seeing he used crutches to get around, I obviously couldn’t have him be a pallbearer. I also couldn’t ask him to help with communion, as that would require him to help pass out the appropriate items and he’d need both hands for his crutches. That is why I asked him if he would be willing to read the twenty-third psalm during the service. He confirmed he would be pleased to do it, so everything was set.

I understood Graham slept snuggled in between Kevin and Vinnie that evening, as the duo served as a buffer to protect and comfort him at the same time. I, on the other hand, was still not sleeping very well, even in Jake’s reassuring embrace. I not only still had Cody on my mind, but I was worried I had forgotten to take care of some important detail and concerned about how everyone was dealing with Cody’s passing. I would lie awake in my bed, listening to every little noise in the house, to see if I could pick up any clues about anything unusual going on. I would also get up and make my rounds through the house. As I did this, I would check on all of the boys, just to make sure each of them was all right.

Jake often woke when I got out of bed, but I’d tell him to go back to sleep, as I just needed to walk off some of my nervous energy. He would usually turn over as I left the room, although at first he would question me further, to see what I was up to. Seeing he always got the same response, he finally just gave up asking and now went back to sleep, as soon as I told him to.

When we got up the next morning, no one was his normal cheery self. They were still holding their own and not letting their grief overwhelm them, but they were more somber and morose than I could ever remember.

I took some time to speak with Graham in private, just to see how he was holding up, and he seemed anxious to get to the funeral parlor, so he could see Cody again. He even asked me if the two of us could go in alone first, so he could make sure Cody looked alright before anyone else went in. I told him that would be fine and he thanked me for allowing him to do this.

While the other boys were getting ready, I told Jake what I had promised Graham and then asked him to keep the other boys outside, until I signaled them to come in. He said he would, so I thanked him for his assistance and then we finished getting ready ourselves. Once everyone was prepared to leave, we got in the vehicles and set out for the funeral home.

As soon as we arrived, Graham and I got out of the car and went inside the building. We told the funeral director we wanted to check everything out, before the visitors arrived. He agreed to allow us to do this and led us into the room where Cody’s body was laid out.

Outside, Jake called the rest of the boys together, explained the situation and asked them to be patient until I signaled they could join us. No one seemed to have a problem with this and tried to keep each other occupied while they stood around in their suits, waiting for us to finish our inspection.

As Graham and I entered the room, we immediately spotted the casket. When we looked in its direction, we could see Cody’s face, even from this distance. While walking forward, we began to get the full impact of how impressive everything looked and we slowly moved toward the area. Cody was lying in a powder blue metallic coffin, with a white silk lining, and there was a large bouquet of flowers covering the closed lower half. This bouquet had a ribbon across it, which read ‘son,’ and was the arrangement I had sent from Jake and me. There was another large arrangement at the head of the coffin, placed on a stand, and this one read ‘brother.’ There was also a floral cross placed against the inside of the lid, which had the word ‘uncle’ attached to it.

In addition to the flowers, there were also two pictures placed on stands on either side of the bouquet from the boys. They were set in gold-plated frames, and the first was the charcoal sketch Andrew had done of Cody, which he had won a ribbon for at the art festival. The other was a watercolor of Cody, done using a slightly different pose than the other one, but this one showed off Cody’s blond hair, his clear blue eyes and highlighted his wonderful smile.

We walked up and looked at Cody for a second, before Graham grabbed a comb out of his pocket and started primping Cody’s golden locks. When he was satisfied Cody’s hair was done correctly, he stroked the back of his hand against Cody’s cheek and then bent forward, so he could kiss him. First, he gave him a little peck on the nose and then he kissed him squarely on his lips. I wasn’t sure he’d do this, at least not after his reaction in the hospital, but he did. It proved his love was stronger than any uncomfortable feelings he might have had.

When Graham was through fussing over Cody, I also gave Cody a kiss. However, mine was a fatherly kiss, on the forehead, like I often did with the boys when I was proud of them or whenever we parted ways. Then Graham and I talked for a few minutes, while noting all the other bouquets that had been sent. We made sure to see who had sent each one, so we could send them a thank you note later. When Graham finally agreed everything was as it should be, I went out and motioned for the rest of the family to come inside.

The other boys took turns going up and saying a final good-bye to Cody, but some were more emotional than others. This didn’t mean the ones who were more demonstrative or hysterical loved or missed Cody more, nor did it mean the others loved or missed him less. Instead, it was merely their way of dealing with a situation such as this. Everyone has their own way of coping with tragedy and unpleasant situations, but it is hard to qualify one as being more expressive about how someone feels than another.

As the boys were doing this, I pulled Peter aside, so I could see how he was dealing with a situation he had been thrust into.

“How are you doing?” I asked him.

“Fine, sir,” he answered. “I didn’t know him very well, but it’s still very sad. I’m sorry he had to die so young and I know you’ll all miss him. I could tell you loved each other and I can see how deeply you miss him already.”

“You’re very perceptive,” I replied. “Have you ever been part of anything like this before?”

“I went to my grandmum’s funeral,” he told me, “but I’ve never known anyone this young who has died. I’ve read about such things, in the newspaper and magazines, but I’ve never actually seen the body or been there for the service.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother, but I’m glad you’ve never lost anyone this young before,” I confirmed. “Are you certain you are all right.”

“Yes, Sir… I mean, Pop,” he said with an apologetic gaze. “You don’t have to worry about me. Take care of your sons and I’ll try to help, especially with Ricky.” Having said this, he walked over and stood next to the older blond. It was obvious Ricky was one of those taking this very emotionally.

When the immediate family was through saying their final farewells, I told the funeral director he could allow the other visitors in. I had Jake and the boys line up beside me, so we would form a welcoming line to greet them.

Among the first to arrive were the members of our extended family and they took a moment to see how each of us were holding up. They offered their condolences and support, before asking what we needed and volunteering their services for whatever they could do. I thanked them and explained we’ve always known we could count on them, especially when things had sunk to their lowest. They just acknowledged they were willing to do whatever was necessary.

Even though Cody hadn’t been with us for very long, he still had made many friends and they arrived at the funeral home too. Most of them had a parent or two accompanying them, for moral support, since this was most likely the first time they had known someone from their own age group who had died. There were plenty of tears flowing as they passed by, but many kind words were also said and we thanked each and every one of them for coming.

There were also some teachers in this group, some who had had Cody in one of their classes, but others who came just as a show of support for the rest of the family. It is nice to know you have such loyal friends and colleagues.

In between the afternoon and evening calling hours we went home, and much to our surprise, Sally, Mary and Margaret had prepared a meal for us. They said they knew we probably wouldn’t eat much or very well otherwise, so they wanted to make sure no one starved. I thanked them and we enjoyed what they had prepared, but I don’t think any of us ate very much. If the boys were like me, they didn’t have much of an appetite while enduring the many feelings we were each experiencing.

The evening viewing was much the same as the afternoon session, with more of Cody’s classmates, additional teachers and staff and other family friends arriving to show their support and offer sympathy. Some of these people had attended earlier, but still came back a second time.

My older children arrived during the second viewing and my two oldest grandsons were with them. Seeing those two had spent so much time with their uncles, their parents thought it best if they were included, if they wanted to be. Both Jordan and Nicky expressed an interest in being here, so they were allowed to come. Once they saw their Uncle Cody resting in his casket, they started to become nervous and apprehensive, so they stayed close to me. They asked many questions about what happened to Uncle Cody and why he had to die when he was so young, which I answered as honestly as I could. I’m not sure anyone could have answered those types of questions to their satisfaction, but I did the best I could.

“Even though it’s not pleasant to think about,” I began, “sometimes even younger people can get really sick. This is what happened to your Uncle Cody.”

“Will we get it too,” Nicky wanted to know.

“No, you can’t catch what your uncle had,” I assured them. “He was just unlucky to have gotten it himself.”

“Did he hurt bad?” Jordan asked.

“For most of the time, the doctor gave him medicine so he wouldn’t hurt,” I explained, “but there may have been times when he felt some of it.”

“What happens when you die,” Jordan followed, and I could tell he was deadly serious.

“Different people believe different things,” I began. “Even though the body remains behind, those who are religious feel the soul goes to be with God. There are some people who believe the soul just disappears and others are convinced the soul goes into another body and lives another life.”

“What do you believe, Papa?” Nicky asked, directly.

“I believe your Uncle Cody is now in heaven, with God,” I advised, “and we’ll all see him, and be with him, again some day.”

“Does that mean we’ll all die too,” Jordan asked.

“Yes, eventually everyone dies,” I explained, “but hopefully most of us will be very, very old when that time comes. It’s not something you should worry about now, since you’ll probably live to be eighty, ninety or even one hundred years old before that happens.” The boys seemed to accept this explanation and didn’t pursue it further.

After the final viewing concluded, we went back to the house, but things were still pretty somber. The extended family had taken care of everything while we were gone and cleaned up after we had eaten. They were truly amazing.

The funeral was scheduled for 11:00 the next day, so there was still a great deal to go through. I also understood this would be another night of very limited sleep, due to all the emotional turmoil enveloping each of us. Actually, I was surprised I was still going fairly strong, but understood my body was just functioning on instinct and adrenaline. I also realized my body was going to crash, big time, once this was over. I hoped it wouldn’t wipe me out completely or cause other problems, like the health-related issues I suffered after Brent’s funeral, but there was nothing I could do about that now.

Although we all turned in a short time later, emotionally drained by the events of the past few days, we also knew there was another big day ahead of us tomorrow. I did fall asleep for longer periods than the previous two nights, but I still didn’t have what I’d call a good night’s sleep. There was still one more day to get through and I wanted to make sure this one went off perfectly; without a hitch. I was nervous, but I was certain each of the boys would do his part, so this helped to allay my fears somewhat.

After a quick service at the funeral home, the casket was going to be closed and moved to the church, where the religious service would be performed. As was my custom, I planned to be there when the coffin was sealed, but Graham told me he wanted to do something in private, before that happened. When I inquired as to what that was, he said he had something he wanted to put in the casket with Cody. I told him that would be fine with me, and then I made arrangements with the funeral director for this to take place.

I had Jake take the other boys into one of the other rooms, to wait until we were done. Once Graham and I were alone with Cody’s body, Graham walked up to the casket, reached into his suit pocket and pulled something out of it. It was a ring and I recognized it as one I had given him for his birthday a few years ago. He looked up at me and said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought this would show Cody I will love him forever.”

I couldn’t speak. I was so choked up at the moment that I merely nodded my head, to let him know I had no problem with what he was planning to do. Seeing my response, he turned back toward Cody, placed the ring on Cody’s finger and then kissed him one final time, once on the nose and then on the lips. After he had completed his good-bye, I had him leave and join the others, while I watched the funeral director seal the coffin shut.