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RIP - Comicality
    Bumblebee
  • Bumblebee
  • Author
  • 03/28/2011
  • 215 Words
  • 735 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Picture - 1. Chapter 1

Closing my eyes
wondering if I’ll ever open them again

just a minute
gotta turn some music on

fumbling around
trying to find the stereo
tripping over something
falling

I don’t usually fall
must be something about today
shit
blood
what’d I land on

feels like glass
no it can't be
I got rid of all of them
they shouldn’t be here

looking into your smiling still eyes
huh
they’ve gone blurry now
the picture must have gotten wet
or something

I remember when it was taken
you didn’t know I existed
you looked into my eyes
with love
and you didn’t see me
nobody ever saw me

you were so happy
you beat everyone
you hugged me after your win
told me how much help I've been
told me you mightn’t have won
I know you would’ve

you won’t notice
you didn’t notice
nobody noticed

caressing the picture
out of the frame
your smiling up at your boyfriend
you didn’t notice the flash

oh well
you might remember me now
someone will clean it up
I'm sick of it
tired of everything
can I sleep in peace now

slowly standing up
brushing the glass off
still holding it
its ripped
he’s not there anymore
good

music
finally
this has taken too long

Copyright © 2011 Bumblebee; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 6
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Marzipan

This feels like a payback for someone. And even if you don't mean it that way, it felt cruel both to the bleading and shattered protagonist and the girl in the photo. This was a lovely and honest poem, please write more!

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Frostina

Ouch! :o

bee, that was soooo very emotive! U really really should write some more darling! u have the talent! and we can never have too many good poets! :)

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Bumblebee
On 04/18/2011 07:22 PM, Frostina said:
Ouch! :o

bee, that was soooo very emotive! U really really should write some more darling! u have the talent! and we can never have too many good poets! :)

Thanks... I've written some more, but I can't decipher them from my notebook :P
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Bumblebee
On 04/18/2011 05:40 PM, Marzipan said:
This feels like a payback for someone. And even if you don't mean it that way, it felt cruel both to the bleading and shattered protagonist and the girl in the photo. This was a lovely and honest poem, please write more!
It's a sorta payback, kinda like this is what you've pushed me to, Thank you for reading and reviewing :)
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Bumblebee
On 04/22/2011 04:52 PM, Foster said:
I'm telling you twice no three times, I like this poem. Well done.
Thanks very much Sammy :hug:
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  • Site Administrator
wildone
  • Site Administrator

I really liked this piece of work Bee :hug:

 

It tells a story in a short amount of time and expresses what the writer is feeling.

 

Well done.

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Bumblebee
On 04/23/2011 05:26 PM, wildone said:
I really liked this piece of work Bee :hug:

 

It tells a story in a short amount of time and expresses what the writer is feeling.

 

Well done.

Thanks Captain Steve :hug::)
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Mark92

Hey Bee, I really enjoyed this one so many mixed feelings. Well done write more :great:

Mark

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Bumblebee
On 05/25/2011 01:15 AM, Mark92 said:
Hey Bee, I really enjoyed this one so many mixed feelings. Well done write more :great:

Mark

Thank you again Mark :)
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