Remembering Tim - 5. Chapter 5 - Loving Tim

The new school year at North Park High started without me. I showed up a couple of weeks later. It takes a while to recover from a stabbing by someone who knows where to put in the knife. Only, they missed a lot of arteries, by only fractions of an inch, though. I could’ve died on that bridge. They were that close. Nicked my liver, trashed the lower right lobe of my lungs to where removing it was the better option. The scars from the surgery were much bigger than the stab wounds. The scars in my mind were even bigger.

My girl friend, Monica, was waiting at the front door. She’d been bringing me my homework and taking it back to the teachers. The perfect friend, no questions, no fear, willing to stand by no matter what. She’d changed, too, over the summer. Her hair was pulled back in a bun making her look more studious. She was still just a little above average, though, but she did look like one of the smarties.

“Nice dress, is it new?” I asked, wincing a little from the climb. Five steps shouldn’t be that much to a fifteen-year-old boy, but I was still compensating for the lost piece of lung and the incision. It was much worse in my mind, than in my body. Young bodies heal quickly; minds take a bit longer.

“Yes, thank you for noticing. That’s a lot more than anyone else said.”

“Ouch.”

“Football players! God, what a bunch of egotistical dummies.”

“How is your tight end? Still the great kisser? Or, is it something else that attracts you to him?”

“Why do boys always think ...”

“Because we take PE and get to see what’s hanging between the legs, not that your tight end has anything to brag about.”

“God, Geoff, you’d notice something like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, it is ...”

“Stop it! I don’t want to talk about, well, you know.”

“Penises?”

“Stop it!”

“Cocks?”

“Damn it, Geoff, stop!”

“Made you say it! You’ll have to go to confession now.”

“You’re impossible.”

“I love you anyway.”

“Yeah, I know. Say, do you want to go to a movie Friday night?”

“With who?”

“The gang, you know, Mark, Tim, and me.”

“Tim, huh?”

“What’s wrong with Tim? I thought you liked Tim.”

“Yeah, I thought I did, too.”

“Did something happen last summer that I should know about?”

“No, nothing you need to know about.”

“Do you want to go?”

“Yeah, it’ll be great seeing Tim, again. I wonder why Kiel isn’t going.”

“Who?”

“Kiel, Tim’s friend, the boy who lives next door to me.”

“Oh, him, umm.”

“What? Don’t you like Kiel?”

“No, it’s not that. So, you excited to be back at school?”

“No, I’d rather be at home, alone.”

My first week at school went rather quickly. I was excused from gym for a couple months. Not that I was bothered, too much. Having the athletic ability of a piece of kindling doesn’t do well in a class where that matters. They put me in the library helping Mrs. Chanson who’d been at North Park since the beginning of time. The rumor around school was she actually dated Moses a couple times before he had to go do all that stuff in the Bible.

And, then, it was Friday evening and I was in my bedroom changing clothes while Kiel sat on my bed watching me. We weren’t lovers, yet. We gave each other orgasms, though. He sucked my dick and I, well, I got to hold a really big cock and do things to do it, too. Make it perform tricks. Make it give me a surprise at the end of every performance, which I sometimes took in my mouth. Edible surprises are so much better.

Tim was going to be picking us up. He’d gotten his driver’s license during the summer and his parents just bought him a ’53 Ford Coupe. It was a little worse for wear with patches of skin cancer here and there, but it ran good enough to get Tim to school and back. When Monica said it was a pain for her to come over and pick me up, he said he could do it, though he didn’t seem too excited. I suppose because most kids suspected I was queer, he was nervous someone might think he was, too, because I rode to school in his car. Kids think like that.

We were supposed to go see that new movie with Brandon De Wilde and Paul Newman, but Mark didn’t like movies in black and white. I tried not looking disappointed, but any movie with Brandon had to be good. I’d written to Uncle Walter about getting Brandon’s autograph, but he said I’d have to do my own star searching.

We ended up going down to Lake City and watching something forgettable, again. Monica was right, football players are a bunch of dummies. What I didn’t like most, though, were all the night shots because Tim’s hand was in my crotch nearly every time the theatre darkened. Finally, I’d had enough and got up to go to the rest room. I didn’t see Tim follow me.

I was standing at a urinal trying to make a show of having a full bladder when I saw Tim standing next to me. I started getting hard.

“What’s with the hands? They’re a bit busier tonight,” I said, turning to Tim. I hoped we were alone because I left my dick out.

“I thought you liked it. You certainly seemed to like it when Stevie did it to you.”

“How could you see that?”

“He told me.”

“He told you he felt me up at the movies?”

“Yeah, he told me a lot of things about you.”

“Damn it, Tim, I thought Stevie was my best friend.”

“Yeah, I did, too. Are you still mad at me for what happened?”

“Some, but, hey, how about a little peace offering. Go ahead, give it a good feel.”

“What if someone comes in?” Tim asked. His soft fingers wrapped around my erection. His eyes were in constant motion looking at my eyes, the stalls, the door. His fingers worked their magic along the length of my dick then slipped into my briefs and fondled my balls.

“Then I’ll put it away and you can play with it another day.”

“I’d like it better if we could both do this.”

“You have a hair trigger.”

“Yeah, that’s what Stevie said.”

“Maybe I could do something about that. It’s a lot better if you can make it last a while.”

“I’ve always wondered what that would be like.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow afternoon?”

“Tomorrow night?”

“Sunday afternoon?”

“Yeah, I can do that. Do you want to meet me somewhere?”

“No, I could pick you up.”

“What about Kiel?”

“What about Kiel?”

“Aren’t you afraid he’ll make a big deal about us being together? After all, he’s your number one friend.”

“No he isn’t.”

“He isn’t?”

“No.”

Somebody wasn’t telling me something, but I hadn’t a clue what it could be.

**********

I felt weird waking up Saturday morning. Then I saw Kiel naked, sitting on my bed, his dick standing firm, ready for action.

“Uh, my mother?”

“She had to take Sally somewhere,” Kiel said, pulling my blanket back and crawling into my bed. His erection pressed against my thigh as he began unbuttoning my pajama top. “I saw her outside and she said I could come up and wake you. Do you want to wake up?”

“Will you punish me with your big stick?”

“No, I will caress you and make love with you,” Kiel said, tightening his lips around my right nipple. His teeth nipped as my pecs tightened against his assault. A hand floated down across my imaginary abs tickling as much as arousing until it stopped at my pajama bottoms where fingers quickly popped open the snaps.

“You know what I want,” I said, turning onto my side away from him. He was gentle, comforting as he pulled my pajama bottoms down, kissing the white skin of my buttocks. I waited, not wanting to say anything to ruin the possibility that my wish might come true.

Kiel’s strong hands, soft fingers pushed my pajama top up and over my head as his lips and tongue followed behind laving my skin with gentleness. He pushed my shoulder down, forcing me onto my stomach. Teeth nipped at my ears as I felt his hardness press against the point of my desire. I was not ready for him. I had not prepared for a dawn attack. Yet, I did not struggle. Relaxing instead, opening myself to his earnestness.

He barely broke in before I felt the spasms, his hot cum released to lubricate further passage. But that was not to be, not today. Kiel held back, allowing his orgasm to subside with only the head past the gate.

“I love you,” I whispered, feeling the dampness of my own orgasm under me.

Kiel pulled me over and lowered his lips to my cum sodden pubes. He looked into my eyes. I smiled.

“I love you,” I whispered, as his cum moistened lips met mine.

He lay down beside me and began to weep. I knew we went too far this morning, beyond the limit he set for our love. I would have him, though. My desire for his love was insatiable. I would have him inside me, expressing his love with long, steady strokes. Today was but a tiny step, removing a small brick weakening his wall only slightly.

“I talked to Tim this morning and he told me you let him rub your dick in the rest room at the theater last night,” Kiel said without emotion. He rolled onto his side and began to massage my left nipple with two fingers. “He said you’re going with him tomorrow afternoon to fuck and do whatever to him. You told me you couldn’t share Tim, but I know it will be different with him. I like you Geoff. I like you a lot; and, I like Tim, a lot. I can share.”

I wanted to scream. Tim! What kind of person was he? Was this some kind of joke with him? Did he think Kiel wouldn’t tell me? And, yet, Kiel was willing to share, but for how long? How long did I have until I’d have to choose?

“He said he wouldn’t say anything,” I said, trying to sound apologetic, sorry I had given in to Tim’s desire. “I can’t help wanting him. I’ve never fucked another boy and Tim wants me to do him. I said I’d go slowly with him; try to get his orgasm to last. God damn it, Kiel, I love you.”

“But you want to fuck Tim.”

“Yes.”

“Then enjoy yourself and give him pleasure. I’m sure he’ll call and say he had a wonderful time.”

“I’m sure he will.”

**********

I don’t know if Tim was nervous when he rang our front doorbell, but I was when I opened the door. He was wearing a loose, long-sleeved green and blue plaid, flannel shirt; faded blue jeans a little tight in the crotch and tight enough across his ass to make me want to touch it, which I didn’t do; and shiny, black penny loafers with white socks. He was smiling, showing off the results of good, expensive orthodontia. We stood there a moment staring at each other.

“Are you going to invite me in?” Tim asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure. You’re early.”

“It’s 12:15, that’s afternoon most places.”

“Come on up to my room,” I said, closing the door. “You’ve never been here.”

“I think maybe once with Stevie. Do you miss him?”

“Not as much as I used to. After finding out he was fucking you and practically not doing anything in return, and considering I was the only one sucking cock when he was with me, I’ve been thinking he wasn’t as great a friend as I thought.”

“Yeah, but I like being fucked,” Tim said, sitting down on my bed. “Is your mother home?”

“She’s still at church with Sally,” I said, starting to take off my church clothes. “There’s some kind of children’s program this afternoon. I told her you were taking me out so I could fuck you and she let me come home early.”

“You didn’t!”

“No, but I thought about it when I did come up with an excuse,” I said, pulling off my pants. I was down to briefs and t-shirt. Knowing Tim’s short fuse, I wondered if he was up a little rehearsal. I sat down beside him. “Would you like something before we go?”

“Um, well, yeah, but I was hoping we could get out of here before the Elkins see me.”

“They don’t get home from church until after one,” I said, undoing his belt. “Stand up; knowing you, this’ll only take a second.”

“Gee, thanks, I appreciate your confidence in me.”

“God, Tim, you’re already hard.”

“I’ve been that way practically all morning, thinking about what was going to happen today.”

“You’ve got a nice dick,” I said before wrapping my lips around the head.

“It’s too small,” Tim said.

“The length’s okay, but you don’t have any thickness,” I said after pulling off for a moment. He was wearing yellow and pale green striped boxers. Of the kids I knew and seen in gym, Tim was the only boy I knew who wore boxers. I liked the way they concealed everything until it was time. I pulled his jeans down, but left the boxers up.

“You’d better watch out I’m about ready to lose it,” Tim said.

I set my lips and tongue back to work savoring the softness of his skin, the sweet smell of him. I slipped a hand up the back leg of his boxers and felt him tense.

“Damn it, Geoff! Oh, God.”

Tim’s voice trailed off as his cock stiffened in my mouth and hot cum splashed against the back of my throat. I swallowed, taking him down my throat as the orgasm shuddered through his body. I kept him in my mouth until he finished as I slowly, softly caressed his cloth-covered ass with my hand. I imagined the possibilities those boxers offered as they were definitely a turn on.

“What about you?” Tim asked as I pulled up his jeans and buttoned him up.

“I’m in the mood for fucking today,” I said, getting to my feet. “I’ll be ready in a minute. How long are your parents going to be out?”

“I don’t know. We’re going to my sister’s apartment down at Lake Woodin.”

We headed straight down Oak Park Boulevard to Eightieth where Tim turned left. At Meridian he went right and down the hill to Lake Woodin Boulevard. I’d have gone on down Oak Park to where it turned into Aurora at the city line and turned left onto Lake Woodin, but I wasn’t driving. I couldn’t get a driver’s license. I was taking medicine so I wouldn’t commit suicide. Some kids don’t get driver’s licenses.

His sister’s yellow brick apartment building looked old like it had been there since the cities of North Park and Seattle settled the argument of who owned Lake Woodin by circling the lake with a park to be administered by the county. In the heady days between WWI and the Great Depression, many apartment buildings were built at the North Park trolley junction on the north side of the lake. The apartment building we parked in front of was a block away from the lake and a hundred dollars a month cheaper than those on the boulevard facing the lake.

We hadn’t talked since leaving my house. Tim seemed out of sorts as if I offended him by sucking his cock. My intention, which I had no intention of telling him, was to dull his response a little. I wanted him to last a little longer than a couple seconds. I wanted a little pleasure in giving him an orgasm, rather than having to respond quickly because his dick was unexpectedly coming. I wanted to feel that I was doing something other than just being there.

It surprised me a little when Tim had a key to the apartment and it was on his key ring. I was more surprised when he didn’t even knock.

Directly inside was the living room. There were coved ceilings, a bay window, a large well-worn over-stuffed sofa, a dark cherry coffee table, and a turquoise side chair. This could’ve been 1924 except for the TV on a rickety metal stand in the corner. Pictures on the walls and knickknacks around the room told me this was a woman’s apartment, but there seemed to be something else, some hint of another occupant. Then we turned left into a small hallway leading to a closet, a bathroom, and two other doors, one of which opened to Tim’s room.

This room was much different from the bedroom where Tim raped me. That room had been plain compared to this one. There were black and white posters of Hollywood stars on all the walls; model airplanes hung from the ceiling in various arrangements that made them look like they were landing, taking off, or engaged in aerial combat; the bed was a double and had a red cotton bedspread with navy blue squares of varying sizes stitched across it like some kind of quilt stitched by a crazy woman; and there was a bottle of lube and a box of rubbers on the nightstand. The teenage boy who lived in this room obviously was cautious about what went up his butt and, considering what comes from there, it was probably a good thing, too.

Then I saw the Corsair. The model wasn’t flying. The plane was mounted on a clear plastic stand. The detailing was more than perfect with oil stains, worn paint, and half spent munitions. There wasn’t a pilot. I couldn’t help but to get in close to examine it.

“That was my uncle’s plane,” Tim said behind me. “He was shot down in the war. He lives up on Beacon Hill near the Veterans Hospital. He lost his lower right leg, dick and balls, and right hand. I go to see him once in a while, on weekends when he isn’t working at the hospital.”

“Does he have any medals?” I asked. My dad had a Purple Heart.

“Yeah, a bunch. I guess he was some kind of hero or something. He has a lot of friends who were shot up in the war just like him.”

“You sound a little sad talking about him.”

“He takes me to the pool at Thornton Creek Country Club and I’ve seen him naked. It’s not a pretty sight. War is something I definitely never want to get involved in. Bullets do bad things to people.”

“Yeah, but to fly a Corsair. That must have been something. Taking off from a carrier out in the middle of the ocean, and then coming back in to land, damn some guys have all the luck. With my glasses, I’ll be lucky to get to sweep floors on a carrier.”

“I didn’t think they let queers in the military.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to tell them.”

“Stick your cock up some sailor’s ass and they’ll know.”

“Speaking of which, come here,” I said, turning to him and planting my lips on his. He suddenly pulled away. “What’s the matter?”

“I’ve never kissed a guy before, not on the lips, anyway.”

“But you fuck; you have to kiss, too.”

“No one’s ever kissed me. They might stick their cock up my ass, but no one’s ever put their lips to mine.”

“But you fuck,” I said, looking at him as if there was something wrong. Then I noticed something I’d seen before, but hadn’t recognized as being significant. Tim definitely looked younger, a lot younger than sixteen. He looked practically like an eleven-year-old, maybe twelve, except for the smattering of light pubic hair and his cock. I had to know. “When was the first time you fucked?”

“Tennis camp three years ago. We, Stevie and I, were rooming together in this college dorm down in Southern California. Stevie got real chummy with one of the instructors. I think Stevie was sucking the guy’s dick or, probably knowing what we know about him, the other way around. Anyway, about halfway through camp Stevie invited me to go with him to the instructor’s apartment. They got me drunk. Then, well, then they, both of them, fucked me. Then kept doing it, Geoff. One would get off, and then a couple minutes later the other would go at it. We went to the instructor’s apartment every night after that. Then when we got home, Stevie was coming over to my house or I was going to his, and he continued to fuck me.”

“You don’t like being fucked, do you?”

“Not really, but I know you want to, so it’s okay.”

He looked just like a kid who was about to be spanked by his dad for something he’d done earlier in the day and his mother hadn’t punished him other than to say he was going to get when Daddy got home. Well, as much as I wanted to shove my dick up where it belonged, I wasn’t Stevie and had no intention of becoming someone that disgusting.

“Come on,” I said, taking Tim’s hand and leading him over to the bed. I squatted down and took of his shoes and socks. Then I stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, undid his belt, and unbuttoned his jeans. In a moment he was standing in front of me with nothing on except his boxers. I was reluctant to remove them. For some reason, seeing him in nothing except those made him very, very appealing to me. I was hard as a rock and stripped as quickly as I could.

“I think it’s time someone showed you some of the more pleasurable parts of guy sex, at least from the little I know about them,” I said, pulling down his boxers. Then I saw him as I’ve never seen him before. He really was a little kid. Obviously, puberty was taking its time with Tim. The smattering of pubic hair I’d felt was much less when exposed to the light, but he could get hard and make cum.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. My lips started on his forehead and worked their way down and around his face. I came close, but not too close, to his soft, tender lips. My hands floated across the soft skin on Tim’s back reaching down occasionally to knead his ass cheeks. When my lips finally zeroed in on his, he was ready. Actually, he was more ready than I was. I felt the spasms course through Tim’s body as another orgasm spewed hot cum onto both of us.

“Sorry,” Tim said, trying to pull out of our embrace.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” I said, holding him, not wanting him to get away that easily. Personally, I think he was trying too hard, practically forcing himself to have orgasms to get it over with, but I had all afternoon to have mine and I wasn’t in any hurry. And, I wasn’t going to fuck him, either. “Come on, lie down on the bed.”

We kissed—he discovered he liked kissing a boy—and touched and licked and caressed each other until I didn’t think he could come anymore. I never imagined a kid could produce that much semen, we were practically swimming in the stuff.

“Use your hand to get me off,” I said as I rolled onto my back. “Come on, I know you like the feel of it.”

I certainly loved the feel of his soft hand around my cock. He came just about the time I did and neither of us was touching his cock. It did it all on its own.

“Thank you for not doing me like Stevie did,” Tim said after wiping our cum up with a damp washcloth. “I kind of liked doing what we did.”

“Sex is supposed to be mutual, Tim. It’s not supposed to be one sided. I can’t imagine how you put up with that dickhead. I’d have cut him off a long time ago if I’d known what he was doing to you.”

“That instructor told me I had to let Stevie do that to me. It was supposed to help his game, or some shit like that. I actually believed it at first. After a year or so I realized Stevie wasn’t interested in me any more than having a convenient place to shove his cock, but by then I couldn’t figure out how to end it.”

Then he surprised me. I’d gotten hard again, mostly because he hadn’t stopped rubbing my cock. Before I could say anything, Tim put a rubber on me, lubed it up, and straddled me before easing himself down onto my erection. His little dick was still hard and I started to lightly stroke it. I could feel it throbbing in my hand as I felt Tim tighten his ass around my cock. Slow and steady, slow and steady Tim pulled himself off then settled back down.

I took my hand away from his cock and began to massage his inner thighs, working my thumbs into his tender, nearly hairless skin from `mid-thigh up to his groin and up over his cock stopping before the head, then returning to mid-thigh. He was breathing harder as his orgasm approached. I didn’t know whether he was giving himself one, or if I was doing anything to help, but as soon as cum shot out I grabbed his cock and stroked it, milking everything he had left.

Tim collapsed down onto my cum covered chest and abdomen just as I came. I put my arms around him and held him to me as I lost myself in short, quick thrusts into his young ass.

“I’ve never done that,” Tim whispered in my ear. “Done it like that to make myself come. I kind of liked doing it that way. Thank you.”

“Hey, no problem, okay? That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. You’d like to be my friend, right?”

“I think this proves that.”

“Yeah.”

“Not like Kiel.

“Huh?”

“He said you two weren’t having sex.”

“Nah, we played tennis and hung out, mostly. We’d done a couple models together.”

“Well, knowing how athletic he is, it’s not surprising he plays tennis, too, but the modeling is a surprise.”

“Do you build models?”

“No, I couldn’t see any purpose in it.”

“Maybe, you and I can get together sometime and build something. Then I can have my way with you.”

“I’d like that, but you’ll have to convince Kiel to fuck me.”

“What?”

“I want Kiel to fuck me.”

“Geoff, please, cut out the crazy talk. Okay?”

“What crazy talk?’

“You know, about Kiel, like he was still here.”

Who was crazy? I saw Kiel practically every day. Maybe Kiel dropped Tim. Kids are like that. One day you’re a friend, the next day you’re not.

I suppose to make peace, Tim put his lips to mine and we kissed and kissed and kissed and we came again, Tim twice. I couldn’t believe he could come so much.

**********

“Well, I made up with Tim. We’re friends now. Well, more than friends. We had a wonderful time Sunday afternoon. We made love to each other. I guess he had the bad side of my best friend Stevie, too. When I think about what happened to Tim it really disgusts me that I tried to kill myself because Stevie died. I loved him, but he was the biggest, baddest bastard in North Park and I loved him. And, I came really close to dying for him. God, what a fool I was. I should have seen, but I was in love. ‘Suck my dick, Geoff, come on suck it, put it in your mouth, come on, watch the teeth, lips and tongue, oh, god, that’s it Geoff, yeah just like that, man I love the feel of a good blow job, put your hands on my balls, gently now, don’t get rough with them, oh, yeah, oh, man, yeah, Geoff, down your throat man, oh, yeah, fucking your mouth, Geoff, fucking your mouth, oh, man, jeez, oh, god, oh, god. Wow! That was some suckin’ man. You can do that every day.’

“And, I practically did it every day, Doctor Randall, I did it nearly every day. Every day that is, when he wasn’t fucking Tim. Yeah, he was fucking Tim at the same time he was making me suck him. What a bastard. And, he wasn’t doing anything for Tim. It was just, ‘bend over Tim so I can shove my dick up your butt,’ nothing for Tim, didn’t hardly touch him except maybe move his hands over Tim’s body, but he didn’t touch Tim’s dick, not once, never, not at all. And, I almost died because I thought I loved him. God, what a fool I was.

“Oh, yeah, and I did it with Kiel, too. I really like Kiel. He’s so cool, so everything I’m not. Don’t say anything, but Kiel has got the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. That sucker’s got to be eighteen inches. Well, maybe, not that long, but it has to be over a foot. I mean, jeez, it’s huge! It’s my goal to have him fuck me with it. I want that thing shoved so far up my ass it tickles my navel. I want to hear him as he’s fucking my ass because, I’ll tell you what, I’m going to be doing my share of oohing and aahing as that thing pounding into my ass like a pile driver. Only, Kiel doesn’t want to fuck me. He was really against it until Saturday morning, but I guess he gave in to my seductive nature and he put it in just a little. Man, that felt great. Just the head. And, we hadn’t lubed up anything. I was so ready for him we didn’t need it. I opened up and wow, it was beautiful. I came, and didn’t have to do anything. I just came when he did. It was so beautiful.

“And, both of them know I’m doing both of them, and they’re okay with it. Isn’t that incredible? They don’t care. Kiel was saying he and Tim could do me at the same time. Now, that would be incredible. No one has to know Kiel is fucking me or I’m fucking Tim. Oh, yeah, he lets me fuck him, and that’s cool with me because I don’t want to be like Stevie and force Tim to do anything. When we did it Sunday, he started it. I didn’t have to do anything except jerk him off a little. Man, it was beautiful. You know it’s great having two boyfriends. I thought I was doing great having Stevie as a boyfriend, and he didn’t really love me at all, but now I’ve got two boys to make love to. I can see it now: I’m behind Tim and my hands are all over him, my dick is in his ass and I’m going real slow because Kiel is behind me with his huge dick stuffed in me and we’re all coming and coming and coming. Wouldn’t that be something to experience, Doctor Randall?”

Except, I didn’t say any of that to Doctor Randall, we, I, talked about my mother.