Icosahedron - 1. Chapter 1

Icosahedron

Cyril could hear the deep rumbling growl of the demon underneath the sound of his own pounding feet and the quick gasping breathes he drew as he ran. The air reeked of the demon's sulfur smoke, his own sweat, and desperation. He could hear the footfalls of his three companions as he careened wildly around a sharp corner, almost running headfirst into a stout wooden door and cursed roundly.

When his patron had asked him to explore the primeval temple and bring back some valuable artifacts, he'd agreed readily enough. Cyril enjoyed exploring ancient places and this patron always offered a fat purse for his trouble. He'd gone to the nearby town to acquire the help of a mage; this temple was known to have many protections, both physical and magical, and Cyril had no talent for otherworldly obstacles. But while the mage Lady Caladwen was willing to help, she insisted on bringing Shortcloak, the halfling ‘adventurer’ she obviously harbored amorous feelings for. That meant he would be joined by Merliona, a half-orc who also had unrequited feelings for the handsome Shortcloak, and her cleric Ricvin, who was under oath to protect the warrior. So his solitary pursuit had become a group project, and while he was searching only for artifacts from the previous civilization, he was pretty sure Shortcloak had looting and pillaging on his mind. These temples were usually full of hidden treasure and Shortcloak was notorious for coming across valuable items to sell for gold. Adding to the complications, Ricvin had triggered a booby trap that rendered him unconscious, and then they made a wrong turn and accidentally released the demon that was currently chasing them.

Cyril reached for the knob, feeling a sharp jolt like an electric shock running through his arm as his palm made contact. Gritting his teeth against it, he tried the knob desperately, feeling it catch against the lock underneath his hand. It was no good.

They were trapped.

* * *

"Carter?"

Carter started, blushing as he realized he was lost in thought and was expected to do something. "Yeah?" he croaked out.

Ace tilted his fedora back and arched a dark eyebrow. "This raging demon is coming down the corridor, and your only exit is a shut door with a complicated, and possibly warded lock. What are you going to do? Are you going to try the door, or fight the demon?" His booted feet were propped up on the edge of the table and he rested precariously on the back two legs of his chair as he glanced through the D&D guidebook in his lap.

"Um..." Carter glanced at his friend Rory, but there was no help to be had there.

"I'm unconscious, remember?" Rory said, smiling. "I can't help you."

"Yeah, and you're fucking heavy," Hannah added.

Carter took a swallow of Coke to give him a few more seconds to think. "Shortcloak, is there any way you can pick the lock?"

Hale rolled his dice, leaned forward to study the resulting numbers. He shook his head. "No. Not unless your demon feels like having a lengthy discussion about the nature of the cosmos while I work on it."

Carter glanced at Hannah. "Merliona?"

"No," she said, smoothing a coffee colored hand over her dark hair. "I could possibly put Ricvin down, but there is not enough room to fight and the demon's claws would be a danger to almost all the other members of the group that aren't half-orc."

Which was just about everybody, Carter thought. "Lady Caladwen, could you use your magic?"

"Step aside and let me try," Bailey answered. Ace nodded to the slender brunette sitting next to Hale. "It's a high level ward. You'll have to roll for it."

Bailey picked up two of the strange shaped dice in her slender fingers and tossed them across the table. Carter could hear the collective sigh around the table as her numbers were revealed, but he wasn't sure if it was relief or disappointment until Ace announced success and the little band of adventurers were able to continue through the door. Lady Caladwen shut it behind them and sealed it with a spell.

"Now, you still need to search for the treasure and an antidote to wake up Ricvin. You know what direction the treasure is in from Cyril's map. Do you go there, or do you explore the remaining temple to find an antidote to wake up your cleric, who is the only one that can really heal you if you are injured?"

"Treasure," Hale decided. The tall gangly basketball player hooked his ankles around the table legs as he tipped his chair back as well. He jerked the table legs, forcing Ace to drop his legs and sit upright again quickly. Ace glared at him.

"Treasure," Bailey agreed. As the thief's primary love interest, she would do whatever he chose.

Hannah's half-orc was suspected to harbor an unrequited crush on the thief as well, but her lawful leanings wouldn't allow her to abandon another member of their group in need. "Antidote," she said, raising her coffee mug to her lips.

"Antidote," Carter decided.

"A divided opinion," Ace noted, glancing over at Hale. "Why are you going for the treasure?"

Hale leaned back forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Another member of the group is just another person Shortcloak would have to share the loot with. Less group members, less to share, and more items for the rest of us. Besides, it was Ricvin's fault. He should have tested that corridor first."

It was bad roll of the dice, rather than a mistake on Rory's part, but Carter knew it wouldn't be in Hale's character to say so. Ace turned his eyes to Carter. "What about you? Remember, you are a neutral character, so you won't care about Ricvin getting an antidote unless it somehow benefits you."

Carter wanted to go for the antidote to get Rory back in the game and deflect some of this attention off of him, but his character couldn't say that. Carter bit his lip, thinking hard.

"Well, we have all figured out by now that Lady Caladwen is aligned with Shortcloak," Carter said. "So if a conflict of interest comes up, which I don't doubt it will, then I want another magic worker on our side, and Ricvin is a cleric. And he will be more likely to align himself with us, if he learns we were the ones who supported getting an antidote."

"If I found out," Rory added.

Ace smiled and returned to his manual to see what other trouble he could get his group of gamers into.

As the evening progressed the group split up, Ricvin woke up in a highly comical fashion, the thief revealed that he had a map that differed greatly from the one that Cyril had been using, and they encountered another dizzying array of difficulties. The slight hope Carter had nursed that once Rory rejoined the group it would deflect some of the attention off him died quickly. The other characters treated him as the impromptu leader of the expedition, since it was his character who brought the group together to explore the temple. It also caused plenty of friction between his character and Hale's rogue, who showed a desire to be in charge. Ace and Rory kept prompting Cyril to challenge Shortcloak's orders throughout the game. By the time they had wrapped it up and everyone except Ace and Bailey were bundling up to head back to their respective dorms and apartments, Carter's head was spinning and dawn was starting to peek over the horizon. Neither one of them had cars, so they walked back to the college grounds, their breath puffing white in the winter air as the sky lightened up around them.

"So how did you like it?" Rory asked eagerly as he bounded along next to Carter.

"I felt like I just spent the last several hours of my life taking the worst calculus exam ever."

Rory just laughed and slung an arm around Carter's shoulder and Carter enjoyed the warmth and weight of it. He resisted the urge to lean into Rory's body and snuggle into his side like he wanted to.

"You did really good," Rory reassured him. "It's difficult and confusing when you are learning all the rules and how the game is played, but once you are used to it, it will get much easier."

Carter doubted it. He remembered looking at the character sheets the others had, many of them so full that second and third sheets had been added. They recorded all aspects of their characters, what level they were, skills, and abilities; even the most experienced players would have to check them from time to time to make sure if they were able to perform a certain action or cast a certain spell.

Carter didn't comment on any of that, but instead chanced turning his head the slightest bit to get a whiff of the other boy, the smell of his clove cigarettes, the endless coffee he drank black to keep awake, and the subtle sexy lingering of his cologne.

"Well, here we be," Rory said, as they approached the neatly manicured campus lawns. "I'm beat. Do you have classes?"

"Not until noon," Carter said. Rory nodded and grinned.

"Smart man. I'm going to try and get some shut-eye. See you next week?"

"Sure thing," Carter said, waving to his friend as Rory turned and jogged back to his dorm. Carter trudged back to his own building. He had told Rory that he had wanted to try role-play after one of his professors told him that he needed to improve his creative thinking. Rory jumped at the chance to bring another player into his group, but Carter hadn't known role-playing would be so complicated.

The group itself had been another surprise. He'd expected a bunch of people with horn-rimmed glasses and bad fashion sense. Instead, he found Ace, a wanna-be hipster and his girlfriend Bailey, an attractive brunette that wore designer clothes and jewelry. Hannah was a beautiful African American with sophistication coming off of her in waves, until she slipped into her character of a half-orc warrior. Hale was a star athlete. None of them struck him as the role-playing geeks he had heard about.

He swiped his ID card and slid inside as the automated door swished open to admit him. He was anxious to get in bed and catch some sleep. Rory had warned him that the games ran fairly late but he hadn't expected to be there from eleven PM until ... well, whatever the hell time it was.

His current roommate was a dark lump in his bed on the opposite side of the room. Carter kicked his shoes off, hung up his keys, and heard the dull clink of the gaming dice in his pocket as he shucked his jeans. He groped in the pocket and pulled the dice out, holding and rolling them in his fingers. Rory had given them to him to borrow, pulling the oddly shaped plastic out of his Crown Royal bag.

"Here, you'll need these," Rory had told him and Carter could still remember the warm flush of pleasure he felt from the brief fingertip to palm contact, before he had studied the strange dice in his hand, all different shapes, with white numerals etched into their dark surface. Carter carefully placed the various dice on the desk next to his bed as his mind recalled other pleasurable snatches of the evening, playing them out inside his memory. Rory, with his dark head bent close to his own as he helped Carter develop his character. The way he had laughed and cursed as his character activated a booby trap inside the temple halls and got hit with a poisonous dart. The sensuous burst of excitement through Carter's body when Rory stood to stretch, revealing a slip of tanned torso. Glancing up to see Rory leaning against the doorway that divided the dining room from the kitchen, drinking coffee and giving Carter an encouraging smile. The slap on the back he gave Carter after the antidote was delivered, letting him back into the game. And, of course, the friendly one-armed embrace that Rory had given him on the way home, the one that Carter secretly wanted to be much more.

Carter couldn't remember the exact moment he'd started falling for his former roommate. They'd been a random match in the dorms their freshman year and had instantly hit it off, despite studying different subjects and having different friends. All the other problems that seemed to plague other dorm mates, like different schedules, differing lifestyle habits, and lack of privacy never seemed to bother them. Rory spent most his time studying on campus or at the library. If he did happen to be in the room when Carter was studying Rory would often amuse himself by playing a video game with his headphones on or work on his computer, both tasks that Carter had little interest in. They were both natural night owls that abhorred early morning activities, and they would often go out for the standard college pursuits of seeing a movie, or eating out, splitting the cost. And while Carter didn't mind casual dating, he didn't care for casual sex, so privacy with girls was not an overwhelming concern, and if Rory had a girlfriend, he showed little sign of it.

Once they quit sharing a dorm, moving to buildings closer to their respective areas of study, Carter found himself inexplicably missing his old roommate. While he didn't have any complaint with his current roommate, who was gone most of time, he couldn't ignore the deep ache, almost like homesickness, when he looked around and didn't see any of Rory's posters, books, or gaming paraphernalia. He found himself roaming the library and study rooms, surreptitiously searching for the dark hair and lanky frame, craving the quiet contentment he felt when Rory was near. Whenever he and Rory had a chance meeting, on the bus, in the cafeteria and the instances where Carter did manage to track him down at the library, he couldn't ignore the bright hot feeling that flared up inside him. Rory was his sun, and Carter wanted to soak him in.

Once Rory had told him about the gaming sessions that lasted for hours, Carter latched onto the opportunity like a drowning man given a life preserver. He made up the professor excuse to get into the games while deflecting suspicion ... after all, he'd never asked to go to Rory's gaming sessions before and had even teased Rory good-naturedly about it. But several hours with Rory was perfect, giving him back the warm companionship he craved, plus the slips of sensual anticipation he always got from looking at Rory's body and feeling the heat of his skin during those friendly, casual touches.

All he had to do now was survive the twisted intricacies of the worlds the DM created.

Carter closed his eyes and let visions of Rory fill his head until sleep claimed him.

* * *

Carter found himself back in Ace and Bailey's smoky, dim-lit apartment the next week, trying to ready himself for a new adventure. After the last game, his character sheet was much fuller, listing his accomplishments, abilities, and loot gathered from last week's experience.

Luckily, now that he had been initiated into the group, he was less singled out this session and actually enjoyed some of the more light-hearted moments. He was astonished to discover that aside from Ace having to play various NPCs and obstacles, some of the more advanced players, like Bailey and Hannah, actually played several characters at once when larger groups were needed. Carter found himself watching Bailey, dumbstruck at the way she shuffled three characters, able to remember all of their names, races, ranks and abilities as she rolled each time for their actions.

Rory eventually gave him a slight nudge when everyone else was discussing a complicated scene. "Stop staring," he murmured, masking his words by lifting his coffee mug and taking a sip. "Ace is over there giving you the stink eye."

Carter blushed and dropped his gaze, hearing Rory's amused chuckle. Carter dragged his attention back to the game. He had gotten caught up on the currently developing storyline and went to pick up his borrowed dice to roll when the room went dark. There was a startled gasp from someone, perhaps one of the girls. Someone else lit a match and a few moments later a candlewick began to glow. As more candles were lit and passed around, Carter saw everyone around the table looked equally puzzled. Ace put down his manual and unfolded his long body from where he was sitting before he went down the hallway with his candle. He returned a few minutes later with a lantern in hand.

"I'm going to check and see if the breakers tripped again," he said. "Check outside and see if anyone else has lost power."

Bailey got up and went to the front door. She pulled it open and let out a little cry of dismay.

"Shit!" Hale cried as he tipped his chair back to see a small snow hill tumble in through the open door. Carter and Rory got up to approach the doorway. The dark night didn't illuminate much, but there was enough light to see that everything was covered in a thick layer of snow. The cars in the parking lot were indistinct sugar lumps, the road a thin twisting ribbon of white against white.

"Geez, how deep is it?" Rory asked. "Looks like more than enough to take down the power lines."

Bailey shook her head mutely.

"They were only calling for a few inches," Hannah remarked, joining them.

"Well, I think they were off just a little bit," Hale said sarcastically as Ace returned. Ace pushed his way to the front of the small group clustered around the open doorway and surveyed the scene outside. He sighed, and closed the door.

"Save the heat."

Hannah was the only one who managed to go back to her place. She lived right next door to Ace and Bailey's ground level apartment and was able to clamber over the railings to reach her balcony and enter through the sliding glass door. Hale had his truck, and even if he ignored the advice against navigating the roads after the massive snowfall, he would first have to clear the snow off his vehicle which was not a viable option that late at night. Rory and Carter usually walked over from campus. But a 15 minute walk in pleasant weather would be much more troublesome in several feet of snow, in the dark, with tiny white flakes still coming down.

Ace pulled out the sleeper sofa for Rory and Carter, and set up an air mattress for Hale, who was too tall for the sleeper sofa. Bailey piled up blankets on the air mattress and on the sleeper sofa to help them keep warm until the heat came back on. That was the first time Carter found himself in bed with Rory, buried underneath sweet smelling quilts and listening to the deep even breathing of his former roommate while his body ached for contact. He was dying to move toward Rory's body heat, to curl up against him, wrap his arms around his slender frame and press his face into the dark coils of hair. So naturally, he kept as much distance as possible between them. But he couldn’t keep his hand from creeping over the cold expanse of the mattress, until his fingertips were barely making contact with Rory's back, catching in the material of his shirt. Then, and only then, was he able to close his eyes and try to sleep.

He woke up deep into the night, feeling cold. He reached out and groped for the blankets, finding one that had slipped down and pulled it back up over him and Rory. He shifted, lay back on his side and looked at Rory. They were much closer than they had been when Carter initially fell asleep. He could feel Rory's knees pressed up against his own. As he watched him breathing, his lips slightly parted and the hair falling down over his face, Carter found his traitorous hand creeping forward again, lifting off the thin mattress and the next thing he knew, he was indulging his earlier instinct to touch Rory, running his fingers along his face, over his cheek, and brushing back his hair. Carter's eyes dropped to Rory's mouth, then traveled back up his face until Carter caught his breath.

Rory was awake.

Just lying there and staring at him. Not speaking, not smiling, just watching him with his dark eyes. Carter suddenly wanted to sink back into the warmth of their blankets and the comfort of sleep where he wouldn't have to see the look that Rory was giving him, wouldn't have to consider it and analyze it and try to figure out what it meant and what he was going to do. But there was something there, tension in the air, anticipation, apprehension, and a sense of waiting for something to happen. It was a quiet, private moment, shared between just the two of them, an opportunity Carter didn't want to let escape. So even though he knew it would be a bad idea any other time, he took the moment in the middle of the night while his caution, inhibition, and common sense were still asleep deep inside his mind somewhere.

Carter leaned forward, the mattress creaking under the shift in weight, and then Rory's mouth was warm underneath his, a gentle yielding that woke a new hunger in him. He didn't push his advantage though, didn't move forward, he just wanted one taste, one kiss, one moment, frozen and crystalized in his mind where he would carry it always.

He drew away, his thumb still stroking Rory's cheek. That dark stare was still fixed on him, but there was a glazed look in the half open eyes.

"Go back to sleep," Carter whispered, drawing his hand safely back to his side. He waited until Rory's eyes shut and his breathing evened back out before he would allow himself to do the same.

* * *

Carter woke up to a room full of streaming sunlight, the rich smell of freshly brewing coffee, and Hale's snoring. Rory was nowhere to be seen. He stretched a little, feeling stiff from the unfamiliar mattress and recalled last night. A warm feeling suffused him. He had finally done it. He had given in to his longings and had kissed Rory, who although he had not kissed him back, had not pushed him away or told him to stop. That sleepy, confused gaze lingered in the back of his mind as he pulled on his boots and checked out the window. He could see Rory outside with Ace. Rory had a shovel in hand, working diligently to clear the snow off the sidewalk and walkways, while Ace was trying to dig Hale's truck and his own car out of the drifts. Carter went to the kitchen and filled two travel mugs with coffee before shrugging on his coat and pulling on his cap. He carefully made his way outside, giving one of the mugs to Ace, who took it with a nod of thanks. Carter then stumbled through the snowy drifts to hand one to Rory. Rory gave him a smile as he took it. "Thanks man."

"You're welcome," Carter said. He studied Rory's face briefly, hoping for a clue about how he felt about last night, some kind of guidance. But Rory's expression revealed nothing more than the casual friendliness it always did.

Carter took the shovel from Rory and set to shoveling the snow while Rory drank his coffee. Rory didn't say anything about the previous night and Carter told himself that the other boy just needed some time. Time to process what had happened, and then they could talk about it later. He would need to be patient.

He slid the shovel under another section of snow. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Rory still didn't say anything. And although his friendly manner and banter remained, there was a distance between them now--created that snow filled night--that Carter wasn't sure how to breach.

He sat at his desk when he returned to the dorm, spreading Rory's gaming dice across the surface, looking at them and rotating them with his fingers. His mathematician mind turned their names over in his head. Dodecahedron, tetrahedron, cube, octahedron. Shapes and numbers themselves were simple, uncomplicated. He rolled the twenty-sided dice underneath his finger. Icosahedron. Simple things. It was when you added them to human interactions that things got complicated. Thoughts and feelings and decisions, messy things. The dice helped simplify it. A roll of the dice to see if you would live or die. A roll to see if you would succeed or fail. A roll of the dice for one decision versus another. A gamble. Sometimes it would pay off, sometimes not.

He was still trying to figure out the outcome of the one he made the night before. He had crossed a line, taken a chance, done something that couldn't be undone. And the end result was ... what?

Silence.

Did he lose a friendship? Did he gain something more?

No answer. No certainty.

He swept the dice away with a surge of frustration. They were just numbers, clear cut.

No ambiguity there.

Carter was waiting for some kind of word, any word, from Rory but was met with only more dead air. Despondent, he roamed the campus the night he was supposed to be gaming with the group, seeking solitude over socialization. He'd lost his mind, done something unplanned, and somehow had royally fucked it up. Rory wouldn't even speak to him now.

He wandered through classes and assignments in a sleepwalker's daze, unable to focus, unable to sleep. He kept the dice that Rory had given him as a kind of perverse talisman, to remind him of what he had lost. The gamble that had failed him, ruined him. He carried it with him to class, back home, set it beside his bed at night.

It was his last connection with Rory, the one that he refused to break. A symbol of his heartache. His misery. His foolishness.

* * *

Carter tucked himself into the window seat of the bus, watching the distorted lines of the school buildings through the streams of water rippling down the glass. It was cold, rainy, and overcast. It matched his surly, grumpy, sleepy mood.

He was caught halfway between contemplation and dozing when he was jarred out of his reverie by someone dropping themselves into the seat next to him.

He glanced over, annoyed, and stopped short when he saw the familiar dark eyes staring back at him.

"Hey," Rory said.

Carter's throat closed up around his vocal cords, so he just managed a weak nod in return.

Rory leaned back a little in the seat, resting his head against the back. Carter's eyes traced the smooth line of his throat.

"You know, Ricvin was a little distressed when he arrived at his next quest and didn't see Cyril there. He had gotten rather attached to his new friend. Liked seeing him around. So did Merliona."

Carter recalled the name of Hannah's half-orc and smiled a little.

"Shortcloak and Caladwen.... well you know how those two tend to be. Always have some hidden agenda up their sleeves." Rory shrugged. "But you know, things happen. I think it would ease the mind of our little group if Ricvin could relay some details about Cyril's whereabouts."

Carter swallowed, trying to loosen the grip his nerves had on his voice. "He thinks he made a really big mistake. And wanted some time to figure out what he was going to do."

Rory's eyes narrowed. "A mistake?"

The bus' wheels squealed sharply on the wet asphalt as the doors clanked open to disgorge a mass of bodies, damp ponchos and dripping umbrellas. Carter glanced up. "This is my stop."

Rory moved, pressing his foot against the seat in front of him when Carter got ready to stand, blocking his exit. "Miss it."

Carter stared. Rory stared back at him, his eyes cold behind his glasses. "What?"

"Miss it. The bus will circle around and come back to it later."

It would take the bus at least 15 minutes to circle back around. "I'll be late for class."

"Then be late." There was a definite edge in Rory's voice, not quite anger, but close enough to make Carter nervous. "I'm not done. Sit the fuck back down."

Carter sank back down into the seat.

"So, care to elaborate on this mistake?" Rory asked. "Was it the kiss that was a mistake, or maybe ignoring me, or was your whole intention of joining the group in the first place just an excuse to fuck around with me?"

Carter stared at him, open-mouthed. "What the hell are you talking about? The only reason I joined that stupid group was because I wanted to spend time with you."

Rory frowned, but appeared more confused than angry. "If that was true, then why did you miss last week? You didn't call or anything. We were worried something had happened to you."

"For fuck's sake, Rory. Do you even remember what happened last time I was there?"

"You kissed me," Rory said. It was a whisper, so soft that Carter nearly missed it.

"That's right." Carter dropped his voice and leaned his head close to Rory's. "I kiss you in the middle of the night, and when I wake up you don't say a word about it. I wait, and I wait, and I wait, and I didn't hear a single word from you about it. Then I am supposed to show up on game night and sit there with everybody--you right next to me--and just pretend everything is okay?"

"Why didn't I say anything?" Rory hissed back. "I was waiting for you to say something, to explain. I didn't know what the kiss meant, or if it meant anything. Hell Carter, I didn't even know if you had remembered it the next morning or if it had all been a crazy dream. It was your kiss; it was you who should have said something about it! And then you didn't mention it, you didn't go to game night, and you just basically told me that it was a mistake! So don't go--"

Rory was cut off mid-sentence by Carter's muffled laughter. His eyes regained their hard glint. "What is so fucking funny you--"

Carter reached out, gripped the front of Rory's coat and yanked him forward, planting his lips firmly on top of his. It was nothing like their first kiss, which was all sweetness and gentle anticipation. This was a rough, clumsy attempt, a smack of lips against lips, but it had the desired effect. Rory stopped talking. Carter pulled back, still grinning. "I'm laughing at you, you bitchy drama queen, and myself too. Do you realize how ridiculous we sound? Squabbling over who was supposed to tell who what?"

He stood up and held out a hand. "Come on. Let's go get some coffee and talk about this like civilized adults, instead of two kids pointing at each other and screaming 'he started it'."

Rory stared at his hand for a long time, and then when Carter was beginning to worry that he was going to refuse, Rory gripped his hand, got to his feet and followed him.

"I thought you had class," Rory said, stomping down the bus steps after him.

Carter glanced at him from under the hood of his jacket. "I'll miss it."

They walked through campus and went into one of the small coffee shops scattered throughout that catered almost exclusively to students and professors. Carter bought himself a hot tea, Rory his usual black coffee, and they sat in a quiet nook near one of the heaters to dry out and warm up.

It was hard, but finally Carter worked up the courage to start the conversation. "So, the kiss."

Rory looked up. "The kiss."

Carter looked down at his cup, rotating it in his hands before forcing himself to meet Rory's gaze. "So, I am sorry I was such a coward about not saying anything about it. I should've brought it up, but I was worried about what you would think."

"Okay. Well, I thought I shouldn't bring it up unless you did. I didn't know really what was going on, if you were interested or if it was just an impulsive thing you did, or what."

Carter smiled a little. "Well, I guess at this point, it would be kind of stupid to pretend I'm not interested in you."

Rory raised his eyebrows. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"It's not that simple."

"No?"

"I didn't know how you felt. I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I felt. I just know I liked being around you. And then we were in that damn bed together and I just wanted to know how it felt to touch you. Then you were staring at me with those eyes of yours and ... " Carter shrugged. "It just happened."

Rory looked thoughtful as he drank his coffee. It reminded Carter of the look Rory sometimes had when he was gaming and trying to figure out a puzzling scenario.

"I didn't even know you were gay," Rory finally said.

"I never really thought about it," Carter said. "I just want you. And that was one of the reasons that I kissed you. To make sure of my feelings."

"And what did you feel?" Rory asked.

Carter shook his head. "At this point, I really don't know. More confused than anything else."

Rory stood up and leaned across the table, pushing his drink out of the way before pressing his lips against Carter's. This kiss was different from the first, and the second. There was still the soft yielding of Rory's lips against his own, but then the other boy allowed his lips to part. Carter accepted the invitation, sliding his tongue into Rory's mouth, exploring the contours of it, the taste, drinking him in. It was a craving he had been dying to fulfill, and when Rory drew back, Carter had to hold back the tiny moan of protest that wanted to escape him. Rory was slightly breathless, looking at him with passion dark eyes.

"And now?" Rory asked.

Carter closed his eyes, swallowed hard again. "I feel like I never wanted that kiss to end. I want to drown in you."

Carter opened his eyes when he felt Rory's hand touching his hair, his neck. Something in Rory's face softened before his hand retreated.

"I have concerns."

"Like what?"

"What if we start to date and then something happens?" Rory asked. "We have a fight and break up, for example. It would ruin our friendship."

"I think our friendship has already changed. Irrevocably." Carter rotated his cup in his hands again. "It changed the minute in that bed when I looked at you and saw you staring back at me before I kissed you. I don't think we can ever go back to what we used to be. But we can always go forward." He reached out and grasped Rory's hand, drawing them away from his cup and folding them into his own. "Does that mean that you might possibly be interested in me as well?"

Rory actually colored a little at that. "I never allowed myself to think that way because I thought you were straight."

"Well, you can think that way now," Carter suggested.

Rory glanced down, shrugged. "I don't know."

Carter regarded him thoughtfully, then dug through his backpack, pulling out the dice that Rory had given him, his plastic talisman that brought him through all the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued his mind for the last several weeks. He tipped the dice into Rory's hands; the same way Rory had put them in his hands for the first game. Rory glanced at him, closing his fingers around the dice.

"What is this?" Rory rasped out. He glanced up at Carter. "Why are you giving these back to me?"

"So you can roll." Carter nodded to the hand holding the dice. "That's how you determine the outcome of any action, right? So, this is what you do. Roll the dice. If you roll anything greater or equal to a four, then you forget about worrying over things that may not even happen and let me sweep you off your feet. If you roll less than a four, then I'll leave you alone, and you can play what if for the rest of your life, wondering what might have been."

Rory looked at the dice in his hands again. "There are seven of these."

Carter gave him a look that was nothing but wide-eyed innocence. "Yeah, so?"

"There is no way I could roll anything less than a four."

Carter's wide-eyed expression melted into a warm grin. "I like to stack the odds in my favor."

Rory couldn't keep the chuckle from bubbling up out of his throat. Carter leaned forward and kissed him again.

Rory responded warmly, enthusiastically. The dice fell, forgotten, onto the floor.

~END~