The In Between - 16. Considerations

16 ~Considerations~

Brandon slammed the door shut behind him and pulled the helmet off, throwing it against the wall. It hit the stone with a dull thunk before dropping to the ground. Not enough noise for Brandon's mood at the moment. He wanted to hear glass shattering, metal screaming, plaster crumbling. He wanted loud, powerful, violent sounds to match his mood. He felt like screaming, pounding the floor like a toddler having a tantrum. Instead, he just fell into a chair and dropped his head, supporting it with his hands and stared at the floor.

This was not supposed to happen.

"Are you okay?" Jordan's voice, soft and tentative, made Brandon's blood heat up.

"Am I okay?" he asked, lifting his head, giving Jordan an incredulous look. "Am I fucking okay? You were just in the same room with me. Does she look okay? Did you fucking hear her? She's goddamn crazy, she's lost her motherfucking mind and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"Calm down," Jordan said. Brandon didn't want to fucking calm down. He wanted to storm back into the room they had just left and shake Leia until she started talking some sense. That girl was not his friend, was not his Princess that he had come so far and had faced so much to see.

"You fucking calm down," he snapped instead. He lifted his head, gestured to the door. "Did you know about this?"

"Her...eccentric behavior?" Jordan asked. "I noticed it was odd, but I didn't know whether that was part of her personality or-"

"She's talking about freaking bears wanting to tear open her stomach and eat her baby and you were wondering if it was part of her personality?" Brandon asked and let out a bark of angry laughter. "Christ's sake."

"It's not that farfetched," Jordan insisted. "She's obviously rattled, yes. But there are creatures here, Bran. It's not that far of a reach. Her paranoia and concern are certainly justified."

Brandon gave him an incredulous look. "This goes way beyond paranoia."

"She's said some things that were slightly off, but-"

"This is your fucking fault," Brandon interrupted flatly.

Jordan's eyes grew cool and hard. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"You're right, I fucking heard you. How is this my fault?"

"We've left her here for too long. If we had just come here when we first discovered what had happened-"

"Brandon, that's bullshit! There is no telling what sparked her insanity; it could have been here from the moment she entered this world. You don't know! And we got here as soon as we were able. Fuck, Brandon, I know you are upset, but don't you dare blame any of this on me. There are plenty of things that you could say are my fault, but this is not fucking one of them!"

Brandon felt the hot angry words building up behind his lips and he longed to set them free. But Jordan was already angry, and another fight was the last thing they needed. He still wanted to scream, to throw things, but knew it wouldn't do any good, knew it wouldn't change anything. Getting mad would do nothing. And God, he didn't want to push Jordan away. Not right now.

He sighed heavily, the anger draining away as quickly as it had risen up, replaced by a weary resignation. "I know it's not your fault," Brandon finally said. "I'm tired of all this shit being thrown our way, but that's not your fault either. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it." Brandon sighed again, his breath shaking and hitching. "I shouldn't have brought us here."

"You didn't," Jordan said, reaching out to take Brandon's hand. "I did."

"But it was my idea," Brandon said. "A bad one."

"I knew we could handle it," Jordan said. "I wouldn't have brought us over otherwise, despite what I had promised."

"Well, maybe we can still make this work," Brandon said, his insides giving a funny little jump when Jordan took his captive hand and brushed his lips over it before releasing it again. If he couldn't do anything else, he could at least figure out a way to fix what they could. "I mean, she's a little off, sure, but she's not rocking back and forth in a corner, drooling, either. So once we get her back, we can find some kind of professional, can't we? Someone who is part of the Establishment and who would understand that she got Enabled over right?"

"Maybe," Jordan said. "Normally, I think having another trip through realities would fracture her mental stability even further, but getting her back to Earth and in familiar settings would probably be the best thing for her."

"Shit... Ms. Regaldo."

"What about her?" Jordan asked.

"She's moving."

"Well..." Jordan frowned in thought. "We'll have to deal that when we get back to Earth. Another issue--I can't Enable her in the state she is in right now. Physically, she's in no shape to be Enabled. In fact, I'm not even sure if it's safe for her to be up and walking. But on the other hand, I doubt an infant would survive being Enabled either."

"So what do we do?" Brandon asked.

"We have two options. One, abandon the baby and Enable Leia. Two, wait until the baby is old enough, then Enable it and Leia."

"Plan Two sucks," Brandon said.

"Agreed," Jordan said with a nod. "Besides, Leia needs to get out of here and the sooner the better."

Brandon decided, right at that moment, that he wanted to marry the man. He wondered how Jordan would like California. "Can we Enable Leia and then come and get the baby later, like when it's older?"

"I don't know," Jordan said. "Neither option is ideal. Even if the baby is born human, which I doubt, if it became acclimated to this reality, then yanking it into another reality, our reality, could do the same thing to it that happened to Leia."

"It could go a little crazy, you mean."

Jordan nodded.

"But you don't think this is a human baby," Brandon said. "You think it's still a human/monster hybrid."

"It's too big to be a human baby," Jordan said solemnly. "If it was human, it wouldn't have survived the--transition over here."

"Leia might not want to leave the baby over here, despite whatever it is," Brandon said. "She's attached; she's given it a name. She's probably expecting a bright eyed, red faced bundle of joy."

"True," Jordan said. "I doubt I could Enable the unwilling. At least not if they are conscious. Which brings you to a couple of difficult decisions."

"None of which I think I can make right now," Brandon said. He felt like it has been days since they had left the small inn at the outpost instead of hours. "Please," he murmured, standing up and pressing his face into Jordan's neck. "Not right now."

Jordan indulged him, allowing him to rest his head against his shoulder. "Do you want to change the channel again? I rather liked that film we had going earlier."

He felt the low vibration of Brandon's chuckle against the sensitive skin of his throat and shivered slightly. Then Brandon was placing hot, open mouthed kisses all along the column of his neck and he moaned, softly. Warm hands slid up Jordan's shirt, fingers pressing into skin and muscles before hungry mouths met in a long unhurried kiss. Brandon drank in Jordan's flavor, his scent, the sensation of his lips and tongue against his, things that could calm his mind while exciting his body.

"I love you," Jordan murmured as Brandon moved back slightly, helping rid the blond of his shirt. "So much."

"Love you," Brandon whispered in return. He dropped light kisses on Jordan's chest, paying special attention to Jordan's nipples with his lips and tongue, kissing, licking and sucking until they were tight and hard on Jordan's chest.

He knelt down on the floor as his tongue slid a wet trail down Jordan's stomach, tracing the slight definition in his abdomen before reaching the waistband of his pants. He lingered there briefly, licking and sucking on sensitive skin before pressing his face against Jordan's crotch, breathing in the scent of him and dragging his tongue over the hardness straining against the material.

"Bran..." Jordan's unsteady voice spurred Brandon on as he carefully untied the pants Jordan was wearing and shoved them down his legs. He carefully kissed the inside of one knee, then the other as Jordan stepped out of his pants.

Brandon slowly dragged his tongue up Jordan's thigh, loving the way the muscles in them trembled. Jordan's cock was already hard and swollen, leaking precum. Brandon lapped it up before taking the head of his cock into his mouth, sucking gently.

"Brandon." His name from Jordan's lips was a long sexy purr and it made Brandon's cock start to stiffen. He took more of his cock into his mouth, loving the taste and feel and smell, running a hand up the back of Jordan's leg. Jordan rewarded him with another slow, sexy moan, trembling slightly under Brandon's hand. Strong fingers wound themselves in Brandon's hair, but unlike Keith's they were pleasant and comforting, not controlling. He licked and sucked until Jordan was shaking, panting, close to the edge, then regretfully removed his mouth from that beautiful cock. He wasn't done and damn if he didn't feel like teasing his lover...just a little. He gave Jordan a calculated shove, not too hard, but enough to send those trembling, unsteady legs stumbling until he hit the mattress.

"Bran-" Jordan reached out for him breathlessly, desperately and the raw desire in his voice nearly undid any self restraint Brandon had left. He struggled out of his clothes, each second too long, and climbed on top of Jordan, kissing him, pressing against him, needing that full body contact. He broke off from the kiss, staring down into Jordan's eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that were always looking at him.

"I love you."

They murmured it simultaneously, smiling. Brandon leaned down, kissed him again and slid slowly, easily against Jordan's warm skin. He gripped Jordan's hands, fingers lacing together, pressing them into the mattress as he started to move, gentle rocking thrusts. Jordan gasped underneath him, moving his hips in time to Brandon's thrusts. Brandon released Jordan's hands to steady himself and Jordan slid one around Brandon's neck, the other one reaching in between their bodies to grasp their cocks. He stroked frantically, feeling himself quickly approaching the point of no return. Brandon covered Jordan's mouth with his own, swallowing Jordan's scream as his orgasm tore through him. Brandon thrust a few more times before his own climax rushed through him and he emptied himself onto Jordan's body, groaning against Jordan's neck. He sank slowly down, resting his weight on top of Jordan, smiling a little bit as he felt Jordan's arms come around him, stroking his shoulders.

"I love you."

Jordan's voice was a soft reassurance near his ear. "I love you, too, baby."

* * *

"I've been thinking," Brandon said. It was several days later and he lay next to Jordan, naked and exhausted from their most recent bout of sex.

"Careful," Jordan teased and Brandon gave him a light smack on the bum.

"And I've decided that if we need to take Leia and she doesn't want to go, can we give her some of that herbal stuff that she is taking right now? Like a stronger dose to make her sleep through the transition?"

"I don't know," Jordan said mildly. "I wouldn't do it right now, but after she gives birth, I guess so. It should be safe."

"Brew me up a dose and let me try it," Brandon said. Jordan raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"I don't want Leia to have it unless I am sure it works with no ill effects. So brew me up a dose and let me try it."

"You don't think this is a bit premature?"

"Well, I want to have everything set up in advance so we can leave quickly if we need to. If this baby isn't human, I don't know what might happen."

"Well, you don't need to be taking it," Jordan said. "You'll be missed if you don't show up for your shift at the throne room. I'll take it. I'm less likely to be missed."

"I don't want you doing it without knowing whether or not it's safe."

"Ditto, babe. Let me take it, I've had it before. It's fine. I should just be in a deep sleep for a couple days. Worse comes to worse, you can take Leia her medicine until I wake up."

Brandon didn't think that was the worst case scenario, but he didn't say anything. "I'll watch over you," Brandon decided. "Make sure no dishonorable guards molest you in your sleep or anything."

"Including you?" Jordan asked, smiling and raising his eyebrow.

"Hell yes. If I'm going to molest you, I'm going to make damn sure you are awake to enjoy it."

"I'll hold you to that."

Brandon smiled, bent down to kiss his shoulder again. "I'm going to go now."

Jordan groaned. "I hate this."

"I know."

Brandon had decided to spend the nights in the guardsmen quarters. He knew that as long as he was staying in the palace, he would be masquerading as a guard and wanted to make sure he fit in as well as possible. Spending his nights in the guardsmen quarters not only ensured that he was up in time for his shift, but also that they wouldn't raise any suspicion from people seeing Brandon returning from another person's room every morning. It could be explained away innocuously enough, but if they could avoid any unnecessary attention, they would.

"I have a bad feeling," Jordan said as Brandon got up and put his clothes on. Brandon glanced over and felt his groin stir again as he saw Jordan sprawled nude across the bed. Brandon's eyes drank in Jordan's tousled hair, the smooth lines of his back and ass, his legs tangled in the sheet, a dark gold against the stark white. "I can't explain it, but I'm uneasy here. I don't like being away from you."

Brandon approached him, bending down to kiss him. "I'm fine, you're fine. We'll be fine. The only time I'm away from you is at night and in the mornings, and nothing's going to happen to me then. I'm surrounded by real guards, remember?"

Jordan forced himself to smile. But he couldn't shake the feeling he was getting, of some kind of impending doom. He was terrified that something was going to happen to one or both of them and he couldn't do anything about it. Just wait for the axe to fall and hope that both of them could make it through with minimum damage. But he didn't share his fears with Brandon. God knew he had enough to worry about right now, and he didn't want to come across as a paranoid, hysterical lover.

Brandon finished getting dressed and kissed Jordan again. Jordan gripped his shirt and opened his mouth, deepening and lengthening what was supposed to be a quick goodbye. Brandon groaned and pulled back regretfully after the kiss ended. Jordan was so sexy right now, heavy eyed and freshly fucked. It made him want to crawl into that bed again and do what they just did all over. It took all he had to step away and turn to the door to break the spell those eyes had on him.

"Good night, blue eyes. Sleep well," Brandon said, casting one last look over his shoulder.

"Good night," Jordan mumbled around a hefty yawn.

Brandon chuckled as he stepped out and shut the door behind him. God, he was falling hard for Jordan, so hard it was scary sometimes.

He felt himself cool off and calm down as he walked down the mostly empty hallway towards the guardsmen's quarters. Brandon always took the early shift in the throne room, when things were quiet and calm. Leia always met with her court in the mornings and it gave Brandon ample opportunity just to watch her and the people around her. He paid special attention to Sonra and Rajar, who were around her the most, but nothing stood out about them. Rajar did much the same things that Brandon did, watched and listened while arranging himself in a variety of provocative poses. Sonra was a little more involved in the conversations going on, many times speaking for the Queen herself. Her demeanor was cold and businesslike, not warmth or smiles.

After he got off his shifts, he would meet Jordan somewhere and they would wonder around the palace and the city outside, formulating possible escape routes if they had to leave in a hurry. They would return to Jordan's quarters after a couple hours, have sex, then get cleaned up for dinner. After eating, either they would separate for the night, or more often than not, sneak back to his room again and have some more sex.

Not a bad routine, all in all, but it was growing old for Brandon, who was impatient to return home. He missed his family and friends so bad; it was constant, like a toothache.

He reentered the guardsmen's quarters, which were modest but clean, at least, and nodded to several of the guards with whom he roomed and patrolled. It had been laughably easy to gain access to the guardsmen's quarters. He had seen a group of similarly dressed boys and had fallen in line with them as they passed him in the hallway. They had turned out to be new recruits to be trained as palace guards. He had simply added his Charion name, Hades, to the list that has been passed around and then he had a bunk and a place to sleep among the other palace guard trainees. Once he left each morning, the badge that came along with the guards' outfit that Jordan had acquired for him got him anywhere in the palace he wanted to be. Not that he took advantage of it. He wanted to be with Leia in the morning, Jordan in the afternoons and that was all he needed.

He undressed and bathed quickly in cold water before returning to bed and falling into it with a contented sigh. He wasn't happy here, but he was comfortable, sated and sleepy and that was enough for right now. The lull of nearby voices wasn't enough to keep him awake, and soon enough exhaustion overcame him, sucking him into her black velvet embrace.