Lace & Éclair - 1. Chapter 1

Admiral Matthew D. Horner hated meetings. The more so, the more important people attended. On the three large screens in front of him all their faces were visible, most of them in persona together with Emperor Valerian present in one of his meeting rooms, some others- like him- connected via terminals. When Senator Maric took the floor, he folded his hands in front of him on the table and leaned back.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, many of our colonies are still in need of immense support-"

Matt kept his eyes fixed on a spot on the screen that made it look like Senator Maric had a pimple on his nose. Besides wondering where that spot came from, he mused about maybe hiring someone to clean his private rooms here on the Hyperion from time to time. He didn't like strangers in his private space, so he mostly did it himself. Maybe he should project a freeze-frame image of himself, blame the interrupted live image on technical glitches, and give it a dusting while he listened.

"-and that's why I think two to three of the agricultural SCVs per battlecruiser are urgently needed-"

A beep made Matt blink in surprise. Someone was trying to call him, despite the 'do not disturb' call forwarding. Hastily, he declined the call and then pulled up the settings for it on the right screen, causing the others' faces to contort and bounce briefly before rearranging themselves on what was now only two screens. At the same moment that he realized everything was fine with his settings, it beeped again.

"Admiral Horner," General Savoia interrupted the senator, "did the warning beep come from you?"

"Someone's trying to hack into my communications," Matt replied with a frown, manually pulling up more defenses.

"I knew it would have been better if everyone showed up in person," a female voice muttered sullenly.

"Because of this meeting, the start of a fleet mission had to be postponed," the Emperor interjected in a cool tone. "Getting the admiral on the ground would have only taken more time."

Matt nodded in agreement, but what was said next only vaguely reached him as a very familiar face appeared before him. "Oh God..."

"Not quite, my love." Mira winked at him, her cybernetic eye sparkling.

"Who the hell is that?" someone chimed in the background.

Oh lord in heaven, the others could see her?

Matt swallowed. "What do you want, Mira?"

"You never call, you never write, you rascal." Mira pouted, but winked again. "Not even today, and it's Valentine's Day. Is that any way to treat your wife, Matthew?"

"I'm in an important meeting," he said seriously, feverishly looking for a way to kick her out of the connection.

"Wait a minute, Horner's married?" it sounded in amazement.

Damn, she was visible and audible.

"Always your work is more important than me," Mira continued to pout. Apparently, however, she didn't hear the others.

"Isn't the more important question how she managed to hack into this secure connection?" someone else asked sharply.

"Mira, please, not now," Matt tried a gentle plea. This was embarrassing, incredibly embarrassing.

"But honey, I know how boring meetings like this are," Mira continued unapologetically, while the other meeting attendees were either annoyed, outraged, or amused, "and as mentioned, it's Valentine's Day."

While Matt was still searching for an answer- he had given up on throwing her out, he couldn't do that anyway- she leaned back. Instead of her usual favorite scuffed leather jacket, however, her shoulders were bare, and as the picture zoomed out further, a pink strapless lace bra was competing with her hair.

Someone whistled appreciatively- or suggestively? -and Senator O'Patrick asked frostily: "Emperor, why don't you have Security remove her?"

"Because, my dear Senator, Mrs. Horner can get very prickly if you keep her away from her sweetheart," Valerian replied, amused. "And we don't want that."

Out of the corner of his eye, Matt saw Valerian wink and heard someone chuckle. "Mira, you look fantastic, but please, can we put this off until later? I have a meeting." Then he added: "And by the way, everyone can see you."

"Matthew, you naughty boy!" The indignation was confined to her voice, her lips and eyes spoke of amusement. Deliberately slow, she pulled a black piece of cloth from the side and covered herself. "There will be consequences, darling."

"Of course, Mira." Matt sighed, praying she didn't embarrass him further. "Can we please work this out later?"

"Hopefully not in another space battle," Valerian muttered with mock concern. "The last one was expensive, though fortunately not for us."

"Well, I guess the admiral doesn't wear the breeches at home," chuckled a senator.

~

"Embarrassing is hardly the phrase," Matt groaned, his face buried in his hands, a few hours later, when the video conference consisted only of him and Valerian.

"You could have expected it," Valerian replied, unimpressed. "After last year's potency-infused chocolates and that nice wine from two years ago-"

"Oh, God! Please don't remind me!" Horrified, Matt raised his eyes. He preferred to forget Mira's attempts to get his attention.

"She's just playing." Valerian mocked good-naturedly, and Matt groaned again.

"Shall she play with her toyboys and finally sign those damn divorce papers."

"I can certainly understand her, and she's right about one thing." Valerian sat back and inspected his manicured fingernails until Matt asked:

"To what extent?"

"I'd rather play with you than toyboys, too, and it's Valentine's Day." The now decidedly gentle expression on the Emperor's face was reserved solely for Matt.

With another sigh, Matt relaxed and smiled. "I know, Val." And he was also quite happy that Valerian gave him preference over the toyboys, Mira could have them all and then some. "I tend to forget birthdays or something, but this?" He shook his head as Valerian chuckled.

"You forget birthdays? I can't imagine that."

But Matt shrugged. "I actually forget my mom's every year. If I'm lucky, I remember it a week later. But I didn't really want to talk about my mom right now."

Valerian chuckled again, seeming to be in a much better mood than usual. Normally, even in privacy, it took him a while to shed his cool emperor's mask.

Meanwhile, Matt pulled something out of a fingerprint-protected box and held it covertly in front of him. "What do you gift an emperor?" he asked, baitingly.

"Are those tickets to the opera?" Valerian raised a fine brow and Matt rolled his eyes.

"And what do you dream about at night?"

"About you." Valerian winked at him. God, the man was really in a good mood.

"No." Matt rolled his eyes again. "Given the current situation, that would be more torture for both of us." After a sigh and a long look at Valerian, who smiled and glanced back questioningly, he lowered his eyes to the card in his hands and blushed. "It's a bit silly..."

"Why?"

Instead of an answer, Matt turned the card over. It was love red, and in soft white, it said "wanna be my valentine?" The ntine, however, had been crossed out with black and rian written above it.

Valerian seemed speechless and for a moment Matt feared he had overdone it with the kitsch, but then he realized his beloved was simply touched. "That's incredibly sweet, you know? I've always wished I could get a card like that."

Matt nodded simply. "I used to think these cards were ridiculous..." Or at least that's what he'd told himself, when he'd just been way too shy and always had a crush on the wrong ones. But since he'd been with Valerian- as secret as the relationship might be- he'd often enough felt like a hormone-ridden teenager all over again. Only this time, in the good way.

"Yes?" Valerian's warm smile took on something mischievous. "Well Admiral, you should see to it that this card is clearly visible in your bedroom when the next Imperial inspection is due."

"Imperial inspection?" Matt raised a brow mockingly. "Of my personal quarters?"

"The Hyperion is my favorite ship, Admiral, I want to make sure all safety precautions are followed. And beyond that, my word is law," Valerian returned, inspecting his fingernails.

"I see. All hail Valerian."

"M-hm. I'll be leaving a personal assessment as well, so prepare yourself, Admiral." Before Matt could say anything back, Valerian pulled out a pink card from the inside pocket of his jacket. On it was a piglet wearing both angel wings and devil horns and seemed to be galloping along under the words "I'm horny for you." The y had been crossed out and had been replaced by an er.

Matt laughed softly. "Two idiots, one thought."

"Two idiots in love, one thought.", Valerian corrected tenderly and dreamily.

Matt nodded, but remained silent. Once again they had only seen each other on a professional level, the next mission was in the wings and would again last several weeks, if not months. He missed Val.

Something beeped.

"The bridge." Matt muttered with a sigh, and Valerian nodded.

"Go ahead. Since we probably won't hear each other again: good luck and hurry back."

"I'll try my best." Matt's smile froze and crumbled from his face as soon as the screen went black. They only ever said an 'I love you' in person, but it burned on his tongue.

The beeping persisted and so, after taking a deep breath, he turned to that very sound. "What is it?"

"Admiral, sir," it was Captain Hall herself, "there was a small package for you personally in the last supply shipment from one hour ago."

Matt's first thought was Mira and he couldn't suppress a shudder. "Sender's mark?"

Hall minimally tilted her head. "It has an Augustgrad mark, but..." she hesitated, "security can't tell if it came from the palace, sir."

"I see." Matt nodded, flooded with some relief. "The usual scans are through?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then send it to me."

~

The package was much smaller than Matt had thought, but nonetheless made of space-qualified material and had two identity checks. As it flipped open, he had to grin.

Inside a narrow clear cooler sat a chocolate éclair. He loved those things. Valerian had once remarked, with a pout, that he loved eclairs more than him. Matt had later shown him, in safe privacy, how much he loved Valerian's very own eclair.

Tucked next to it was a roll of bright red that felt surprisingly soft under his fingertips. Unrolled, it turned out to be boxer briefs- made entirely of fine lace.

Something else sparkled at the bottom of the package and Matt reached for it. It was a cherry-flavored condom.

He sat down, leaned back and looked at the contents of the package with a smile. "Preparing for Imperial inspection, huh..." He stroked the boxer briefs. "Visual representation? Check." He twirled the condom. "Safety precautions? Check." Carefully, he opened the refrigerated container and took out the dessert. "A little low on practice material, though. And too small. But so what..."