Scandalous - 1. Chapter 1

"You look so NERVOUS! Hehehe! Don't worry so much, cutie pie! I'm not gonna bite you, Adam." I said, watching the shy boy timidly tremble beside me in the car. I lightly slid my hand up and down the inside of his slender thigh, listening to the hiss of him taking in air, trying not to gasp outloud. I wanted to keep my hand in constant contact with him. Keep him aroused, keep him hot, keep him from thinking too much. It had taken me a month of subtle flirtation, cock teasing, and emotional manipulation, to get this cute closeted boy to finally go somewhere more private with me. I wasn't about to let his mind get him to back out on me now! He was such a bashful sweetheart, mmmm.....I could practically TASTE his virginity! It radiated from him in waves, and glistened in those big dopey doe brown eyes of his. I wanted him so bad that my mouth was watering in the car. "Relax, baby. We'll be at my house soon. And I'm gonna make you feel sooooo good. I promise." I gripped his hard bulge and gave it a firm squeeze as it flexed under my fingers. He squirmed a bit, still conflicted between what he wanted what he thought was right. I LOVED those boys! The kind that are too shy to speak at full volume or look you in the eye fully, much less make the first move. The kind that protect their inhibitions behind a bashful smile and a blush. It made the game all the more exciting. It was like trying to catch a butterfly, you've gotta be quick and persistent, but delicate at the same time. However...once you coax the 'animal' out of them, their virgin bodies give themselves over to you completely, without any restriction whatsoever. Even when it hurts. They'll bite down on the pillow and bear it anyway. If you can just tap into a tiny piece of that raw sexual energy, you become the supreme king of their world of experience. I tell you....there is nothing better than corrupting an innocent virgin for the first time. Especially a closeted GAY virgin who has nowhere else to go. No one else to talk to. It makes it easy to take advantage. You become their oasis in the vast ad lonely desert of the heterosexual majority. A virtual 'sex slave' that you can bend and twist any way you want without complaint. And even if you break their heart, you can get them to come back to you over and over again. Even if you have nothing in common, and they discover that they don't really love you in that way...you still own them for as long as you have use for them. Why do they lend themselves to such emotional abuse? I'll tell you why. Because a hot fuck and a slow blowjob feels a lot like 'love' to someone who doesn't know any better. That's why. Besides, guaranteed regular sex from a boy they're physically attracted to is a lot better than the horror of going back in the closet. Returning to those fearful situations where you have to guess whether or not the boy you want is 'available' to you. Whether the heart, soul, and tears, that you invest in someone else are going to be wasted or not. Whether your infatuated advances will result in a passionate kiss....or a brutal ass whipping. They don't want that.

They'd rather force themselves to fantasize about how I'm the best option they've got. And lose themselves in the feeling of instant gratification while losing sight of the romantic 'candy and flower' relationships that they used to dream about. They see my smile, even after I've used them time and time again, and they give in. They want more of that good feeling, more of that release from their frustration. What can I say? I'm cute! I'm BETTER than cute! I'm fucking HOT by teenage boy standards. They want me. That is my weapon. Because with a life of 'forced abstinence' and a life of 'heartbreaking lonliness' as the only pathetic alternatives to what I can offer them...I win by default. Every time. The more I subtly point that out to them, the faster they flock to me. And they'll stay right by my side until I get tired of them and leave them behind for someone more 'fresh'. It's a magic formula! You've gotta believe me!

I saw Adam look out of the window at the dark rainy street as the scenery passed us by. He was only a sophomore. One year under me, but at this moment, he seemed so much younger. He was biting his nails lightly, and one of his feet was tapping anxiously on the floormat. I knew he was scared, but I took it as a total turn on. He was gonna taste so fucking good! I couldn't wait to hear him whimper my name as his innocent little body pushed up against my face in the throws of orgasm as I sucked him dry. He's gonna be a wild one, I can tell. "Do you...do you promise not to tell anybody...?" Adam squeaked softly, still shaking.

"I'm NOT gonna tell. I promised you, right?" I said, and made sure to rub more small circles on his leg. Keeping him hard at all times. Making sure that he remained worked up. I couldn't let his reasoning kick in. Not now. I had to have him. I HAD to. Just a few times, that's all I want. After that I don't care WHAT happens to him. He's 15 years old, he'll have plenty of time to get over it. It'll sting for a while when I let him go, and I'll have to put up with some dirty looks in the hallway. I always do. But tonight...I get what I want, he gets what he wants, and I can break it off clean right afterwards. No harm, no foul. This is what it is, nothing more. Once I'm done, I don't want him thinking that it's anything more than an emotional appetizer. I don't need lovey dovey emails, phone calls, and birthday wishes. Long gazes across lunchrooms and happy little text messages don't really do much for me. If we're not having sex, or looking for a place TO have sex, then you keep your boyish little giggles to yourself. You want 'love'? Get your mom to bake you a batch of cookies. That's her job. Screwing the living shit out of you is mine.

I should concentrate on my driving, this downpour is getting ridiculous. I can think about the aftermath of his broken heart later. For now, I just wanna make sure I don't lose his total devotion to this sexual encounter that he agreed to. As long as I keep his horniness levels up higher than his doubts, his sexual need for release will outweigh his need to think at all. "Just a bit further, ok, honey? Hang in there, puddin'." The 'pet names' help to make this feel intimate. Helps the timid ones relax. You've got to approach them as a friend. As though you don't want anything else from them other than a smile and some conversation. You've gotta come across as a wounded bunny rabbit, otherwise they'll never approach you. That mixed with some flirting, an admission of sexual interest, and some hot cybersex sessions in 'secret', can make for an INTENSE concoction that will break down their every barrier, and allow you to force them into any emotional position you want from them. It's something I learned early on. Get their trust, push off any and all competition, and slide right in when the time is right. I swear...sometimes I think I should write a book on this shit.

I accelerated a little bit, taking my hand off of him just long enough to turn up the speed of the windshield wipers. Then I let my fingers drop right back into his lap, gripping that larger-than-expected rod of his. That spiced him back up. I could see Adam's worries starting to get the best of him, so I had to do something to make him remember why he wanted this sooo badly. Once I get him home and naked, it'll be too late for him to punk out on me. Nervous or not, he'll feel too good to wanna stop. I'm NOT gonna lose him, I worked too damn hard to get a piece of that tight, succulent, ass. The streets were almost flooded from the rain in some areas, but it was almost midnight and they were pretty much empty in the residential areas. Empty...except for one other car that was coming our way from in front of us.

I let my hand wander up under Adam's shirt, feeling his flat chest and erect nipples. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply as I rubbed over his slim wiry shoulders, and took my hand out of his shirt to twirl the soft brownish blond hair hanging down by his ear. Anything to keep him calm. Anything to keep him sedated with this so-called 'friendship' that I promised him. I only looked at him briefly, hoping that he can make it these last five minutes. "Don't worry, pumpkin...you'll be great." I assured him. And he gave me a weak smile. But it soon faded.

"Um...Dylan....?" He said, looking out in front of the car. Shit. Eye contact! Make eye contact! Don't turn pussy on me kid! We're almost there! "DYLAN...?!?!?" I didn't want to answer, but the fear in his eyes was a bit more...urgent than just being nervous. And it was then that I saw the headlights of the approaching car brighten up the whole front seat of my car. I looked forward, and the other car was suddenly swerving into my lane, and turned completely sideways in front of me, coming to a screeching halt! I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could, my car sliding to a stop only a few feet in front of the other car! What the hell is THEIR problem?!?! Dammit! Everything was quiet for a moment. I put the car in park and asked Adam if he was ok. He nodded, a bit shaken, and I was hoping that I could just get around this little delay and get back to seducing the pants off of this fucking sexy little muffin beside me.

But things didn't work out like that.

The car doors sprung open in front of us, and two other boys our age stepped out. Angrily. Swiftly walking over to both sides of my car! They YANKED both of the doors open, and the rain came rushing into the car with a cold wind.

"Get out of the car!" One of the boys shouted.

"What the fuck are you doing???" I yelled.

"I SAID GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!" He screamed!

I suddenly felt a hand PAINFULLY grab me by the hair and literally PULL me out of my seat! The surge of pain in my scalp guided me out into the rain, and Adam jumped out on his own. I was thrown to the ground, feeling the rain soak me from head to toe.

"Get out of here, kid! This doesn't have anything to do with you!" The other kid told Adam, but he was too scared to move. He stood frozen like a deer in headlights, just as confused about this sudden turn of events as I was. "GET OUT OF HERE! Go! Run! Now!" Adam came to his senses, turned tail, and rain off into the dark as fast as he could, the rain and lightning splashing down on him the whole way. I watched him take off, and cursed myself for missing a golden opportunity for a prime piece of man meat like that one. Sighhh...waste of my fucking time. He'll NEVER come home with me again after this. They ruined everything.

"You may not realize this...but you just messed up a really good night for me tonight." I said, but my 'friends' here didn't want to hear it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" He shouted, and I felt a punch suddenly SLAM hard into my face and knock me down to the wet street surface! Then a kick hit me square in the stomach, and another, and another...as he stomped down on my leg.

"I take it....I did something to 'deserve' this?" I said, coughing and spitting blood out of my mouth. It was then that I looked up at the face of the boy kicking me. It was...it was...."Johnny?" I had never seen Johnny so...'angry'. Never. In fact, he was one of the sweetest boys walking the face of the earth. He was just a few vows away from being a freaking priest! To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't think the kid had a violent bone in his body. "Johnny....what is this about?" He looked up, and that's when the other boy approached me from the other side of the car.

He was silhouetted behind the headlights at first, his head covered with a hooded sweatshirt. But as I shielded my eyes from the falling rain, I saw the boy reach into the front of his belt and pull out a HANDGUN! He cocked the hammer back and took the safety off, pointing it at my head! This was certainly NOT the way I had planned for this evening to go.

He swiftly stepped closer, removing his hood, and I recognized him instantly. Suddenly...things became a little bit more clear. "Drew? Shit...ok...I think I get it. I get it now. Ok, look...I....I realize that you guys might be a little bit perturbed...."

"A little bit perturbed? A little bit PERTURBED??? Oh no...I'm way beyond that, Dylan. WAY beyond." He nodded his head, giving Johnny the signal that he should probably step further over to the side. I assume to avoid the spray of my brains as he was aiming that metal right between my eyes from only a few feet away. "You have NO idea...what you did to me. What you did to ALL of us!"

"Hey...Drew....c'mon man. You know what they say. 'Love and war', right? I mean, let's be honest. If you and Jody were so in love, you'd be together right now, right...?" But before I could finish, Drew had marched over to me at top speed and smashed the gun handle across the bridge of my nose! God DAMN! That shit hurts like you wouldn't BELIEVE!!!

"*SHUT UP*!!!!" He shouted! "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!!!" He screamed at he top of his lungs until his vocal chords were ready to snap. He was grinding his teeth so hard that I thought they would crack, and I could see tears of hatred streaming down his face...even in the rain. I felt Johnny kick me hard in the back, and I could tell that they were a bit beyond talking right now. Drew was SO furious, SO uncontrollably ENRAGED, that he was literally CRYING buckets at this point! "YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK HIS FUCKING NAME!!! Do you HEAR ME?!?!?! NOT NOW, NOT EVER AGAIN!!!" He said, and got down on one knee to press the barrel of the gun HARD against my cheek, the pain of the first strike still burning my face. "You worthless, heartless, pathetic piece of SHIT!!! Jody was *EVERYTHING* to me!!! He was my whole fucking WORLD!!!! He was the ONLY thing in my whole FUCKED UP LIFE that made me happy!!! Out of ALL the bullshit I've been through, ALL the hard times I faced growing up, Jody was the ONLY one who was able to make me feel like somebody special!!! He was the *ONLY* reason I had to fucking live at ALL!!!" He shouted, and then he stood up, taking the gun away from my bruised cheek. He looked down at me with complete disgust, until he couldn't control himself anymore. He kicked me a few more times in the stomach, his rage evident and growing with every attack! Then he kicked a huge splash of dirty rain water in my face from a nearby puddle. "But you already KNEW that, didn't you? You knew we were in love, you just didn't fucking CARE! You sat there like some kind of FRIEND...talking to ME...talking to JOHNNY...playing this little fucking GAME with the both of us, like you just wanted us to be happy! And you were stabbing us in the fucking back the WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!! You betrayed us BOTH just so you could have Jody all to YOURSELF!!!! DIDN'T YOU?!?!?!" He kicked me again, this time so hard that it almost made me sick. "He didn't even LIKE YOU like that, you son of a BITCH!!! But you wanted him, and you were willing to fuck us BOTH over just so you could steal him away from us! Because if YOU couldn't have him, then WE couldn't have him either! Isn't that right???" I couldn't speak. The pain my body was going through was aching all over, the shock of it trying its best to numb me from the misery. Without much success, I might add. "ISN'T THAT RIGHT?!?!?! ANSWER ME!!!!" He kicked me again, and I rolled over onto my back, letting the rain fall down on my face. I had the wind knocked out of me, and began to cough violently. But Drew was too angry to let my pain keep him from his answer. He stepped down on my arm and pointed he loaded gun at my face again. "YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING ANSWER ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" He pressed the gun against the giant purple bruise now forming on my nose, and I screamed outloud in agony! "You lied with every fucking breath you could muster...just so you could STEAL my boyfriend away from me!!! Well LIE TO ME NOW!!! Tell me you didn't do it! Tell me you never had the intention of breaking us up from the very fucking BEGINNING!!! Go ahead! LIE TO ME!!! You can do that....can't ya, Dylan? You're GOOD at it, remember???" I couldn't answer....and felt a slight bit better when he took his foot off of my arm and took a step or two back. "Pick him up." He told Johnny, and I felt myself being yanked up to my knees...shivering from the cold, from the pain, from the helplessness of knowing that....he was right.

"You deserve this, you know?" Johnny said, almost as if it hurt him to even be a part of this. "You deserve every painful minute of it." Johnny walked over to stand next to Drew as he aimed the gun at my forehead.

"Well, guess what, Dylan? He's gone now. Jody is completely out of my life forever. He doesn't even fucking TALK to me anymore. We've both been....'forgotten'...like we didn't even fucking matter to him at one time. It's like every 'I love you' that passed between us has been fucking ERASED! That's all thanks to you, my friend. That's all thanks to you." His tears were pouring out so fast that he was shaking. Or maybe it was the ice cold shower raining down on us. Either way, I don't think I've ever witnessed someone so unstable. "Was this practice for you, Dylan? Is...is that what this was? You sneak in and swashbuckle your way into somebody's relationship without ANY respect for what they have together? It MUST be fun for you, Dylan. Because I happen to know that you've done this before. In fact, I know of at least three other teenagers that can vouch for this." Drew said, a strange calm now lacing his angered voice. Three? Psh! Is that all he counted? Thank God he didn't talk to the freshman class. He'd REALLY be pissed. "You've made quite a playful habit out of scheming against me and a few other people when it came to the boys you wanted to fuck for yourself, haven't you? A little 'manipulation' here, a little 'suggestion' there, a little 'persuasive' interference...I have to admit, you put a lot of time and energy into this. But people talk, and I know that you've been using that same bullshit strategy on a LOT of other people, Dylan. Spending all that time with somebody else's boyfriend, pretending to have their best interest at heart the whole time, getting them to confide in you, always managing to be around when the love of their life couldn't be....you've got this whole sickening formula worked out, don't you?" He wiped the tears and rain from his eyes, and more came rolling down just as fast. Tears that ran hot from the anger it took to hold them back. There was such a hurt expression on his face. I had never seen anyone so dead inside. It made me wonder if MAAAAAYBE I had gone a bit too far with this particular conquest. "Yeah...you got what you wanted. You always do." He said through gritted teeth. "But...tonight....for, what I'm assuming is, the first time ever...you're gonna PAY for what you've done. You're gonna PAY for every relationship that you've interfered in. You're gonna PAY for every life that you've ruined. You're gonna fucking PAY....for every single person you STEPPED on just to get what YOU wanted!!! You're gonna DIE tonight, you sack of SHIT! You're gonna fucking DIE!!!! All is fair in love and war, right? Well....welcome to the 'WAR' side of that equation, ASSHOLE!!!"

"DREW!" I coughed, trying to catch my breath. "DREW.....dude, wait...WAIT...!!!" I tried to speak, trying to get him to hold on for just long enough for help to arrive. Somebody has to hear this. Somebody has to SEE this as being somewhat strange! Where the hell are the police in this town, anyway! If I had been ambushed outside of a doughnut shop, I'd be home and balls deep in Adam's baby smooth ass by now! Drew looked at me as though I was obnoxious for even havng the audacity to talk to him. But he let me speak. "...I know you're mad! Ok...and I'm sorry! I didn't...I didn't even SLEEP with Jody! Nothing happened! Ok? We were just talking to each other, and he said no. That's all! You said it yourself, he doesn't even LIKE me like that! I don't even think he's ATTRACTED to me, like, at ALL! You can HAVE him, he's yours!"

"You think he wants anything to do with me NOW??? After you worked so hard to make me look like some kind of heartless jackass in his eyes? After you pointed out my every flaw and made me into a 'bad risk'?"

"Well THIS certainly isn't helping your case, now is it?" I said. "I mean....come on! What....what are you doing here? You'd KILL me? Over a 'boy'?"

Johnny actually laughed at me, turning away like he couldn't bear to look at me. "He's got some fucking NERVE, doesn't he?"

Drew tilted his head to the side, a demonic smile breaking out gently on his lips as he spoke in a frighteningly calm tone. "Let me get this straight...you think this is unfair? You think...you think I'm treating you unfairly here?"

"Um...a LITTLE, yeah! You're overreacting just a bit, don't you think? I mean, a GUN, Drew?!?! Jesus! That's a bit 'theatrical', isn't it? Don't make this out to be more than what it was."

Drew raised eyebrows, and his smile disappeared completely. It was as if I had just said the most hurtful, most demeaning, most BLASPHEMOUS words ever created. He slowly approached, and squatted down in front of me. The gun was never pointed away from me. Never. And he made sure to speak slowly so that I could hear his utter hatred, his complete and total disgust for everything that I was, in every single syllable. He quoted me word for word with a loathesome tremble in his voice, as though the rage were about to burst forth from the pit of his stomach and devour me whole. "Don't - make - this - out....to be more....than - what - it - was." He said, a sarcastic and offensive smile spreading across his face. "Did you hear what he just said to me, Johnny? 'Don't make this out to be more than what it was.' This is what he's telling me. This is what he's reduced my true and honest feelings to." He leaned closer, a vile and stomach turning look of unrestricted loathing on his face. He spoke calmly, but angrily, through gritted teeth and tight lips, "I was in LOVE...with someone who loved me BACK for who I was! Maybe the only one who ever could. We shared a bond that was growing into something special. Something real. And we were VERY happy with one another...until you decided to get involved. Until you decided that YOU deserved his undivided attention more than I did....and that's when you used Johnny to break us up! You USED him...and his feelings...to steal my only happiness away from me. Do you have ANY fucking idea what you've done to me? To Johnny? To Jody, for that matter? Hmm? Do you have any clue?" He said, but I didn't answer. I'm sure any reply would result in more agonizing pain. "You see...you think you're being treated unfairly, because you've got it in your head that I'm making all of this up. That I'm just some jilted lover who's looking for some random person to blame for my misery. You're so busy thinking about your own ass, that you actually believe that you can honestly convince me that this was aaaallllll some big mistake, and that you can walk away from this without any consequence. Like things can go back to the way they were. With you preying on other young boys that you like, and screwing over everybody who might stand in the way of you getting what you want." Drew squinted his eyes to stare a hole right through me. "You know, we all used to pity you. Everybody at school used to look at you, and think about how lonely, and pathetic, and unhappy, you really are. And how you're doomed to never have ANYBODY love you because all you know how to do is scheme and scam your way into people's pants...never once being a part of their hearts. And you know what? It used to be enough for us to know that you were at home by yourself, hated and despised by most of the people around you, constantly trying to fight for your self respect. It used to be enough to know that it was your own fucked up karma that made you cry yourself to sleep at night. And we all were waiting for the day when it came back to bite you in the ass. But you know what, Dylan? I'm done waiting for you to learn yor lesson. No more games. Not anymore. Taking Jody from me...completely destroying my last chance at loving ANYBODY ever again...and breaking my heart beyond repair...that was going a bit too far. And this time...you're not just gonna lie your way out of it." He softened his voice, and ran his fingers through my hair. "No more waiting for you to learn what's right and what's wrong, Dylan. No more." Drew stood up again, and walked over to join Johnny as they leaned against the car. "I'll tell you what I'm gonna do for you, Cassanova...since you feel you're being treated unfairly. I'm gonna let God decide. How's that? I'm gonna let the Almighty Creator decide whether or not a selfish piece of homosexual SHIT like you....deserves to live another day on this Earth! That's fair, isn't it? I mean...you were soooo certain that you were SO much better than me, so much more deserving of a couple of quick fucks, that you were willing to trash a loving relationship between two people to get him all to yourself. You were a BETTER person for Jody to love, MUCH better than me. Right? Ok, that seems to be what you believe. Well, let's see if you're right. Let's see if God really loves you better." He said, and then I saw him open up the gun, and empty some bullets down onto the street at his feet. Five bullets exactly...one left. He spun the chamber and slapped it shut without looking. "Alright, hot shot...we're gonna play just ONE more little game together. You're good at games, right? Afterall, thanks to you...I don't have anything left to live for anyway. Absolutely NOTHING. I don't care if I live or die at this point. In fact, once I help my mom out with a few things and finish off a few projects online, I plan to kill myself anyway, and no chickening out this time like I did a few years ago. I don't want to live with this pain anymore." He started to sob, but his face hardened instantly as he choked the emotion back, and a slightly hysterical laugh left his lips as tears ran out of his eyes. "Hehehe, it's soooo hard to breathe when your heart is this torn up, you know that? I can't wait to say goodbye, I really can't." Shit, I really hope Adam ran for help. "So....it's not like I have any long term goals to look forward to. We might as well get this started." From the look in Drew's eyes...I could tell he was serious. There was nothing behind them but anger. Everything else was hollow inside. His face didn't even look the same. He took a step closer, and I saw more tears drip down his cheeks to mix with the rain. Total despair was the only other emotion he had room for once the hate had taken over. "I go to bed...EVERY night...with fucking TEARS in my eyes...and I pray that I don't ever wake up again! And Jody hasn't bothered to talk to me in a looooong time, but that pain? That pain is STUCK...right here." He said, pointing to his heart. "I want to die every single day of my life, just to get rid of this misery. Do you know what it's like? Living with this pain? Of course you don't...you're beautiful. You've got an entire army of people chasing behind you that'll do anything you tell them to. I doubt you'd sacrifice any of your fucking selfish pride to truly love somebody else anyway." He sniffled. "But, in the real world...I don't have that luxury. I have to work twice as hard for everything I get. So...when it gets taken away from me...it REALLY stings." He opened the gun and spun the chamber again, slapping it shut. "Do you know what my father told me when he found out I was gay? He said I was worthless. You hear that? Worthless. For years, my father verbally expressed his disgust for me as a person, until I was so insecure and self loathing...that little things like 'trust', and 'love', and 'friendship'...they became nearly impossible for me to find. Even MORE impossible for me to maintain. When you grow up hearing that every day of your childhood...attempting to give your heart to somebody else is a pretty big leap of faith. To the point, where putting a fucking GUN to your head in order to protect it seems pretty damn sane to me!" He said. "It's not easy for me...to feel like I'm worth something to somebody else. It's not easy for someone to convince me that I deserve any happiness at all." Drew began to break down, his face wrinkling up into heartbreaking sobs. "But Jody? Jody was special. He understood me. He understood me in a way no one else ever could. He could talk to me and I could talk to him, he could tell how I was feeling without even looking at my face. Somedays....it's like everything he did made me laugh. I haven't laughed a single day since he's been gone. Not until tonight....when I got to see you on your knees in front of me like the lowlife WORM that you are!" He gripped the gun so tightly...if I did so much as bat an eyelash, he was really gonna shoot me! SHOOT ME! "We were on our way to building something real, Dylan. He brought love into my life. He truly made me happy. With Jody by my side...I could've tackled anything life had to throw at me. All it took was a phone call, a smile, an email, a kiss...and I was on cloud nine. He made me believe again. He made me feel wanted." He sniffled, and spun the chamber yet again. "But......" His face hardened, and the tears came to a sudden stop. "...He's GONE now....isn't he? He's looong gone, where neither one of us can touch him. And...we both have to start alllllll over again."

"Drew...." I whispered, but he stopped me.

"NO!!! There is NOTHING...that you could say to me right now, that is going to bring my baby back to me. Do you understand? He's gone. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me. That piece of his heart has been cut out and thrown into the garbage to get burned with the rest of the forgotten trash in his life. There's nothing that can change that now." A small chuckle escaped his sullen grin. "You won. You always win. You got exactly what you wanted, you can have him. He's yours now. Just like the other boys I've heard about." He looked me in the eye. "Oh yes...I know, Dylan. I know. You fall for a boy, you decide you want him, and you'll do whatever it takes to get him. Including driving the people left behind in your 'wake'...to something...'criminal'." He said, spinning the chamber...one last time. "So...since I'm doomed to go on living in a world of endless fucking pain, and MORE than ready to die...and since you're the sick fuck bringing misery to everything that you touch, ruining lives one by one...I'm going to make this our last 'competition'. One last little dance in the rain, for good ol' Dylan." He pointed the gun at my head and took a step forward. "I'm going to take turns, pointing this gun at you, and then at me. And we'll just see how this all turns out. If God loves you as much as you love yourself...then this single bullet will end up in MY head instead of yours. At least then I can put an end to this heartbreak once and for all...and I'll be able to rest quite peacefully knowing that He chose you over me fair and square....and that I never had a chance to be happy with Jody in the first place." He then squatted down in front of me again, the rain pouring down on us in an ice cold shower as his demonic frown grew more intense. "But...." He whispered. "....If God decides to judge you as the heartless bastard that I see in you right now...if he decides that this is the time to finally punish you for all the wrong you've done, and all the HURT you've caused other people to satisfy your OWN fucking needs...then this gun is gonna go off in YOUR direction. And I'm gonna shoot you right in the middle of your pretty fucking FACE!"

Love. It takes you to some crazy places sometimes.

You know, it strikes me now that this is a rather TERRIBLE way to start a story. But I felt it was somewhat necessary in this case. I won't claim to be the victim in this scenario, and I'm far from being the good guy. But that doesn't mean that I don't have a point of view in all this. So, if you're looking to read some love story about how I found the one sweet boy who forced me to open up my heart and change my ways forever...um...this ain't it. Actually, I didn't have a single regret about my actions in the past....well....until the 'gun' showed up, that is. It's one of those tools that kinda makes you stop and think about whether or not you went too far. In this particular case, I believe I have. I just wish I could have at least gotten a nice piece of ass out of it.

Make no mistakes...you're probably not gonna like me. You're probably gonna call me every name in the book. And by the time this story is over, you'll be rooting more for the maniac with the gun than you will for me. But at least you have this as a beginning. And there won't be any mistakes as to whether or not I get my 'comeuppance' over the things I've done.

So...let us start from the beginning, shall we? And just go on from there.